Posted 8:45 PM by Gene

This time the Drunken Fool's Former STOOGE puts the international covers up first. And Zeitgeist wants its readers to be HAPPY! (In Latin America and Asia at least.) Well what better way to be happy than to watch SPIDEY!!!!! (Is there as monstrous a debate going on in the Z luxury news suite over whether to cover-sell another movie as over Alky Breath's "ethics"?) For Europe it's SARKO!, which is puzzling as he is, after all, a CONSERVATIVE. We've put James Dickeyson on his trail, so fortunately he can't be that good. STOOGE! What plug do you have planned for US?

Posted 7:25 PM by Gene

What if:

"If they were able to finish it by summer '45, then with a bit of luck, we could have been ready in winter '44-45."

One thing's sure: people wouldn't have said how EVIL we were for using the bomb first.

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

Not only have the infernal Babbitts who've condomized all America built lots of vacant upscale highrises, they've added insult to injury by including lots of empty ground-floor retail space to prove nobody lives in their properties!

Way to go, Babbitts! Now you've shown the rich can eviscerate our cities just as easily as the poor!

Posted 4:46 PM by Gene

There seems to be a tiny backlash brewing over MIT's tantrum over its now departed admissions officer, and I can see the point: most jobs require competence, not degrees. Why does society demand degrees of so many jobs that don't need them?

Hell JACK had an MBA from Harvard and look what HE did.

Posted 4:26 PM by Gene

Elsewhere in the Wonderful World of the ASSPress, America's Leading Truth Gathering Organization puts on its Carnac swami hat (wha?????) and looks forward to what Conan will do with the late-night irrelevance called The Tonight Show.

I put on my swami hat and think we've come up with another reason the sooner Little Jeffy spins off Goodthings Entertainment, the better.

Posted 4:25 PM by Gene

Democrats: U.S. Has Lost Global Standing

Smile when you say that!

Posted 2:13 PM by Gene

Mouse Brain Simulated Via Computer

As anyone will know who's ever used a PC.

Posted 1:16 PM by Gene

The Saudis made their celebrated SWEEP over nine months -- and the last arrests were in December.

Just so long as it looks as if we've done something.

Posted 1:15 PM by Gene

Bush should SIGN the bill and get us out NOWNOWNOW!!!!!

Gen. McClellan comes to mind -- and we are being kind.

Posted 12:52 PM by Gene

This promises to be the next cell-phones-fry-your-brain scare: wi-fi zaps your reproductive organs. (So we must assume given the emphasis on laps.)

One thing is clear: many of those who start these scares didn't need cell phones to fry their brains.

Posted 12:45 PM by Gene

SLIME comes up with His own BRILLIANT idea -- having TiVos automatically update ads so the viewers can skip over the latest versions!

Ths, ladies and gentlemen, is the genius that made a media zillionaire.

Posted 12:40 PM by Gene

Terry Teachout has, as usual, put his finger on this year's P-Ulitzer in music -- and on the P-Ulitzers in general, and on all arts and media awards:

I can't help but recall the footrace in "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" that was judged by a dodo: "There was no 'One, two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked . . . At last the Dodo said, 'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'"

(Via About Last Night)

Posted 12:18 PM by Gene

What is with the WaPosties and Jack? Why have they been devoting so many column inches and so much drivel to this guy who destroyed the movies? What is so special about him that we must be constantly reminded of what a good guy he was? Or is all the good-guy talk a cover for the bad he did his industry -- and our nation?

SHUT UP, LENNY!

P. S. Slavery lasted a long time too, and it worked very well for the South -- if it worked. A tear-stained NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to MIKE!

And a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to LENNY for telling us Matt used to be one of JACK'S underlings!

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

The two Senators, men of privilege and heirs to political dynasties both, were notorious in Washington for such antics. I am not one to make an issue out of politicians' personal lives, but I think the Democratic party is crossing a line by tolerating this sort of old-school, old-boy D.C. misogyny.

Liberals frown on the misbehavior of -- Democrats?!?!?

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

Surprise number one: Companies that lay off lots of workers don't necessarily do better on Wall Street. Surprise number two: Companies lay off lots of workers because LEGENDARY WELCH did it.

I'm surprised.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

SELIGISM just can't rid itself of the taint of drugs -- and we are told the center of this controversy had "a penchant for tall tales":

Several former Mets said they remember referring to Radomski as "Murdoch," after the owner of a newspaper known to exaggerate. [Emphasis added] Long after he was gone from the Mets, when someone would tell a dubious story in the clubhouse, listeners would say, "That's a Murdoch!"

NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!

Posted 7:57 PM by Gene

It would appear maybe -- just maybe -- the Dems are coming to realize their farce has the proverbial snowball's chance, and not in Alaska.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Hillary: U.S. Ready for 'Multilingual President'

Accents don't count.

Unfortunately Dubya has her beaten -- he can speak English and Spanish badly. Can Hillary do that?

(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 2:54 PM by Gene

Oh, NO -- GE BANCORP AND REALTY's going WAY UP today because somebody has FINALLY suggested spinning off parts of the company!

And guess which parts the Citigroup "analysts" want to spin off? Show-biz and real estate -- and consumer finance!

We ask again: what is GE BANCORP's purpose other than being big and unwieldy, and generating lots of bad PR?

``As bad as it sounds to say, our earnings have grown into the stock price,'' Immelt said. ``Maybe we were too highly valued on the future. We are not today.''

LEGENDARY WELCH WOULD FIRE YOU!

Posted 2:41 PM by Gene

In other college hijinx:

“WE WILL NEVER FORGET THE ROLE OF THE FBI IN McCARTHYISM!!!!!!!!!!” screamed Michael A. Gould-Wartofsky ’07, who is also a Crimson editorial editor. [Overemphasis added]

...and a future managing editor of THE PAPER OF RE-CORD!

(Via the usual Romy, who was doing a little fist-in-the-air calisthenics himself)

Posted 12:32 PM by Gene

SaaaaaAAAAAaaaaay, we're nowhere near the fall and already some Nittany Lions are gearing up for the season by getting arrested in a fight!

Go, St. JoePa! Your players won't.

There was drinking, too. Good preparation!

Residents of the apartment received a letter a few days after the fight that asked them to drop the charges, Mahon said. It was signed, "The Voice of the Penn State Student Body."

Sounds like the voice of the Penn State Alumni Association to me!

Posted 10:39 AM by Gene

Even assuming computers in schools are a good thing -- a dubious assumption -- this should not have us tap-dancing with glee:

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. - A project that aims to deliver low-priced laptops with string pulleys to the world's poorest children may have a new market: U.S. schools.

The nonprofit "One Laptop per Child" project said Thursday it might sell versions of its kid-friendly laptops in the United States, reversing its previous position of only distributing them to the poorest nations.

What about all the millions of perfectly good computers businesses throw out every year?

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: WE SHOULD SIC EVERY LAST REPORTER ON THE EVIL OF WASHINGTON -- unless it's Democrats committing the evil.

This, we would repeat for the 27,398th time, has NOTHING to do with outfits like TRIBCO crawling into a financial cave.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

The Dems had a debate last night, and a few of the hacks like SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX are hugging themselves because everybody won -- except maybe The Eternal Comber, who came across as "canned and phony", or Abe Kennedy, who "appeared ill at ease in his first responses", or Mike "Who?" Gravel (wasn't that Fred Flintstone's boss?), who's "out to destroy the Democratic Party", or....

Chill out, dudes. Fifteen months left before you can inflict a candidate on us.

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

More news in the musical realm: The Singing Android, Christopher Cross, has filed for divorce.

Nnthe nnbest nnthat nnyou nncnn nndoo? Sci-fi buffs everywhere will be disappointed.

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

The Cold War has not quite ended in the Baltics.

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

In a startling departure from his previously stated position on civil unions, Mayor Giuliani came out to The New York Sun yesterday evening in opposition to the civil union law just passed by the New Hampshire state Senate.

SOMEBODY'S RUNNING FOR -- never mind.

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

GASP! BREAKING NEWS!

Reports: Saudi police arrest 172 militants in anti-terror sweep

How many thousands left?

More excellent news: they were learning to fly! Whiny! Babs! We DON'T have to worry about terrorism any more!

Posted 9:12 AM by Gene

Fifteen years after the riots we hacks celebrated South Central is still a squalid poverty zone, proof that jernalists don't care about the poor unless it enriches their bottom line.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Commerce Department reports economic growth slowed to a 1.3 percent annual rate in the first quarter of 2007, its weakest performance in four years.

DOW 14,000!

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

One of the greatest victims of Soviet communism was the arts, and perhaps the greatest victim of all the arts was music. Civilized men should never forget Stalin's hideous edict of 1948 blackballing the leading Russian composers of his day, most fearsomely Prokofiev, who was so shattered neither his health nor his music ever recovered. For the Russians it is a double curse because their musical culture, in so many ways, was the most outstanding of all, with a gift of melody and love of harmony that perhaps only the Viennese ever equaled, and an undying quest for perfection. It is therefore sobering to think that the great cellist Mstislav Rostropovich, himself a gallant and uncompromising fighter for human rights -- and a fierce champion of Shostakovich, who was likewise blackballed -- may be the last well known Russian musical figure (unless some rock hack comes along -- unlikely). This realization makes us mourn ever more for the arts, the mourning exacerbated when in so many precincts it's marked with feverish cheering.

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

We can praise God (and we are being neither facetious nor irreverent) that we cannot hear the Liquor Louse suitably exciting his friends. Alas, we can imagine it, and if our tone is off, and we're sure it is, it is just that we don't usually like having people think for us:

Liquor Louse: We're here with Jon Meacham, Evan Thomas, Howard Kurtz and Jeff Greenfield on the stunning death of a true hero, Jack Valenti. Jeff, you're a ni -- you're a lover....

Blithering Ninny: A lover of what? (with the oh-so-knowing, condescending, smug air of someone in on the joke, the joke being on the listeners, but who is nonetheless so brilliant you harbor the suspicion he thinks he's smarter than Liquor Louse too)

Liquor Louse: You're a lover of -- greatness in men. Jeff, what made Jack such a great man?

P. S. We see Jack asked for donations to a macular degeneration fund in his name. How fitting.

P. P. S. Slashdot mourns:

P. P. P. S. Ten "giant"s and six "legendary"s -- maybe in the back of their empty-quonset-hut skulls the hacks know something.

P. P. P. P. S. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to PAUL "UNFORGETTABLE" FARHI!

Posted 9:01 PM by Gene

While professional college sport continues to reek, the NPCPCAA, like a blind private eye, pursues the remedies that will restore its virginity -- like banning text messaging from recruiting.

Okay Myles, when's the next big non-Blackberry related scandal?

Posted 8:55 PM by Gene

The more things change....

In the fifties, Baughman tells us, when a large fire broke out near a Schenectady television station, its news manager told his reporters to call the Associated Press.

And how does that differ from modern jernalism -- or blogging?

Posted 8:31 PM by Gene

Hmmm, sounds like the NFL may be preparing to shake down more taxpayers by playing musical chairs with its draft. Wouldn't that be profitable!

Posted 8:11 PM by Gene

Jack Valenti, who played such a big part in turning the movies into junk, has died. It is apt that that he died on the day after the feds proposed regulating violence in television. That alone is a repudiation of his alphabet soup, of the notion that we can ever trust industry types to police themselves. He will also of course be remembered for waking up to home video at the last second and his typically farsighted notion that "the VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone", and for endearing himself to geeks with his subsequent jabber of DRM and his close friendship with the FBI; for talking of the Johnson White House as though he personally ran it (well, him and Bill Moyers); and for constantly dropping references to his friend Cicero in his speechmaking. In that pestilential Potomac swamp of pompous asses he was a pompous ass nonpareil, and his innumerable "friends" (much as two tarantulas are friends) were, like him, enemies of the people.

Judging from how the hacks are playing it they appear to be almost as upset as with David Halberstam.

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

The Dalai Lamas of Mountain View have treated some of their reverent customers to a bit of old-tyme BLOGGER!

No, we're not surprised.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

There is a place for one-hit wonders like Bobby "Monster Mash" Pickett, especially now that we don't even have one-hit wonders.

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

Thirty percent of all businesses say they won't upgrade to Vista ever, which is making the Bugmeister cry all the way to owning fifteen banks.

Posted 1:18 PM by Gene

Al-Qaeda's goal isn't a seat at the table. It wants to blow up the table. [Home-page hed]

That's okay, sez Whiny Reid and Speaker Babs; we'll just have a couple of hundred soldiers guard the table.

Posted 12:18 PM by Gene

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!

NEWS UPDATE: The dean of admissions at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology resigned today after 28 years at the school when it was confirmed that she "misrepresented her academic degrees" on her resume, according to a statement issued by MIT. Marilee Jones was perhaps the most prominent admissions director in the country and has spoken widely about combating the college admissions frenzy and restoring the joys of youth to young people obsessed with their resumes. Statement from Marilee Jones [From Boston.com]

If it can happen at MIT it can happen anywhere!

Why now?

(Link added 1:10 p.m.)

Posted 11:23 AM by Gene

A BRILLIANT idea, Romy & Co.: let's turn newspapers into wards of the state so we'll be obliged to pay for your TRUTH!

Here's a suggestion, Rom: you agree to pay people like The Flying Keyboard $30,000 a year and we'll agree to your brainstorm. NUF SAID.

Posted 10:37 AM by Gene

President Bush next week is expected to receive, and swiftly reject, legislation ordering U.S. troops to begin coming home from Iraq this fall. The veto could fall on the fourth anniversary of the president's Iraq “victory” speech.

This appears to be part of a new strategy of Dems and the hacks: to discredit Dubya by calling attention to that stupid campaign rally on the aircraft carrier. To which we say, you guys didn't care the last time you handed a mission accomplished to our enemies, nor do you much care this time. What planet do you live on?

On the other hand, Dubya could have chosen another date -- but then the hacks would still be in the P-Ulitzer mode.

Posted 10:29 AM by Gene

HED OF THE DAY:

Hugh Grant Arrested in Alleged Baked Bean Attack

There seem to be several ways to attack with baked beans, but we'll leave this hed as is.



Have the boys who run THE GAMES thought of making baked-bean throwing a sport?

Meanwhile, a police insider ponders how successful a prosecution may be over the alleged food-throwing incident. "The evidence may have been eaten," the source tells PEOPLE.

That would be a problem.

Posted 10:25 AM by Gene

BIGMEDIA want it both ways: they want to punish people for saying stupid things, and they want people who'll say stupid things because they can boost ratings. Which will it be, jackasses?

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

It is annoying to reflect (if EXtrEme TrACkiNg or however they spell it is to be believed) that most of our recent hits have come from our posting of the Budweiser logo from the other day. We would hope someone would read us, and not merely look for some sort of excuse for a future drunk.

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

News hacks ALWAYS like to tell us how extremely well-informed and erudite and HIP the audiences are for THE ED MURROW and ERIC SEVAREID of COMEDY, so when a certain kind of pol goes on their shows and tells jokes -- why, if the hacks don't get on their 1000-foot-high horses and demand he RESIGN, or whatever.

Really, most pols shouldn't tell jokes, certainly not a Senator who seems altogether too comfortable with his mouth; and as for the hacks, they shouldn't act as humor critics, they being the apex of witlessness.

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

The World's Oldest Adolescent shouldn't be worried about picking up some medal from Dubya because he's a "poodle"; he should be worried that he's become a DOG.

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

We can't figure out why Wendy's would be in trouble. Wendy's puts out a better burger than Mickey. Our only supposition is most burger fans, like the movie S&M phreaks, have no taste.

Posted 8:41 AM by Gene

PINCH is debating whether THE CONSPIRACY is making enough movies for WOMEN when He should be asking if it makes enough movies for HUMANS.

(Via ArtsJournal)

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

Here's a Washington political riddle where you fill in the blanks: As Alberto Gonzales is to the Republicans, Blank Blank is to the Democrats -- a continuing embarrassment thanks to his amateurish performance.

If you answered " Harry Reid," give yourself an A. And join the long list of senators of both parties who are ready for these two springtime exhibitions of ineptitude to end.

You know, even though this is SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX, we're prepared to say he's right.

P. S. at 11:57 a.m.: REPUBLICANS ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE EVER DESERVING OF BLAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, this whatisit named Orr is the MS. TRAVERS of TNR.com.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

Nobody tell the geeks of Slashdot:

Hitachi Offering One-Terabyte Hard Drive

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! More room for more sci-fi parodies!

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

I have no sympathy for a public figure who screams hours before he thinks -- and that includes ac-TORS as well as hack pols.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Outfits like the Pe-ew Foundation gotta poll the way a Skid Row derelict's gotta drink.

The public, in any case, is speaking.

Posted 3:50 PM by Gene

Okay, Rudy said a stupid boom-boom partisan thing, but there's no denying if a Dem became prez the odds would be slightly more favorable.

Posted 3:36 PM by Gene

Your name is Jim Glassman. Your fingers are getting itchy....

22,900 POINTS TO GO!

Posted 3:28 PM by Gene

Lucas, Hamill reunite for "Star Wars" spoof

We can safely say this redefines the notion of "has-been."

Posted 3:25 PM by Gene

What could be more boring than a former presidential press secretary's memoirs?

You wouldn't guess.

Posted 12:13 PM by Gene

For those who remember journalism back in a 1970s heyday they can't explain to to the young, Halberstam's death was not just the death of a hero, it was like the death of the great Hollywood stars -- Katharine Hepburn, Clark Gable. Who would replace them? No one has. Maybe no one ever does.

When hacks see themselves as "the great Hollywood stars" -- or even when they see their heroes as such -- we see what is wrong with JERNALISM.

(Via the usual Romy, who has a little of Jimmy Cagney in him -- or so he thinks)

Posted 11:05 AM by Gene

Our favorite P. R. man Rog has discovered Lucy has another preening mortal enemy -- Lesley Stahl!

Is it any wonder these clowns always fight for as much face time as they don't deserve?

Who thought these people could make Lucy look good?

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

I THINK WE KNOW WHEN MS. TRAVERS IS ACTING UP BECAUSE SHE POSTS HER FAVORITE SENATORS' SPEECHES IN ALL CAPS!!!!!

OR DO HER FAVORITE SENATORS TALK LIKE THAT WHEN THEY'RE ON THE FLOOR?

Elsewhere in America's Preeminent Con-SER-va-tive Web Site:

In the U.S.A., a conservative approach to high culture—to art, music, and literature—equals The New Criterion.

And in the U.S.A., a conservative approach to low culture equals -- never mind.

P. S. at 5:11 p.m.: Has MS. TRAVERS ever thought of starting a blog for the Republican Party?

When a con-ser-va-tive writer, or a liberal writer, or a tabloid paper, or anyone with an axe to grind, uses the word OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!, a switch clicks off. Really, some words lose their meaning when some writers use them, even when an outrage happens, perhaps because language can always become an outrage.

Posted 10:50 AM by Gene

It would be healthy to say "so what?" whenever another overpaid superopinionated publicity-seeking ultramouth leaves the air, but too many of us have learned how not to say it.

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

THE MASSACRE RALLY IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

We want ouw way! An' if we don't get ouw way we'll have 5,000 mowe votes and we'll SCWEAM an' CWY until WE GET OUW WAY! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

The good news: ratings for all the top shows are falling.

The bad news: The Reverse Robin Hoods of MadAve will burn more of our money on Hollywood schmoozing than EVER!

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

Poll: Muslims only partially support Al Qaeda's agenda

Well! That's a relief.

But a closer look at attitudes in Egypt and Pakistan, two of the countries surveyed, reveals a more nuanced perspective that also welcomes democracy and freedom of religion.

So they're nuanced about wanting a caliphate where infidels get their heads lopped off! That's a relief too!

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

America's Greatest Ex-Presidential Candidate poses a question:

Who was the real loser of '72?

Uh, you really want the answer?

Which is not entirely true, of course -- thanks to the rout of two years later a few millions in Southeast Asia were real losers too.

Want to get America's Greatest Ex-Presidential Candidate to shut his mouth? Say "Killing Fields"!

And yes, Nixon was a loser too -- just a different kind.

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

Jo-NAH, in his FrankRichian-con-SER-va-tive way, talks sense:

I think the strategic conceit of creating new buzzwords and jargon to protect bureaucrats, consultants and ideologues is one of the more fascinating constants of the human condition (I think Vaclav Havel wrote a play on this and Orwell was obviously a hero in the battle against this sort of thing.). If you don't know the lingo, you're on the outside. But often the only thing that justifies you're outsider status is your ignorance of the lingo. Intellectuals, obviously, are the greatest culprits when it comes to using words as bouncers (I wrote a column about it here a long time ago)...

...and then at the last second shoots himself in the foot:

...but as we move deeper into the New Economy, it's only going to get worse.

...and someone notices:

Update: From a reader:

Subject: pot, kettle?

"but as we move deeper into the New Economy..."

Loved the disquisition on the hubris of buzzwords, but
isn't "New Economy" a hollow buzz phrase too?

Jo-NAH! B. S. DEFENDER! This buzzword's for YOU!

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

Important product safety information from the ASSPress:

The following recall has been announced:

-About 13,800 Coby-brand USB/MP3/CD boomboxes because they could start a fire if the off switch is not firmly in position while the unit is plugged into an electrical outlet. The company has received 18 reports of boxes overheating and causing minor property damage. Details: by phone at 800-524-9219; by Web at http://www.cobyusa.com/ or http://www.cpsc.gov . [sic]

Nothing against Coby or the purchasers, but part of us has wanted to see a few boomboxes self-destruct -- and now a manufacturer has rather obliged.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

Hardy har har: Any whiny showoffy tantrum Dems can pull the GOPS can too!

America is run by screaming crybabies.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

One last word [we hope] on you-know-what -- which, while we will say it doesn't differ much from what we'd said before, and to little exposure, is still mightily worth posting:

[S]urrender may be the keyword here. What, for instance, is this dismal rush to lower the national colors all the damned time? At times of real crisis and genuine emergency, such as the assault on our society that was mounted almost six years ago, some emotion could be pardoned. But even then, the signs of sickliness and foolishness were incipient (as in Billy Graham's disgusting sermon at the National Cathedral where he spoke of the victims being "called into eternity"). If we did this every time, the flag would spend its entire time drooping. One should express a decent sympathy for the families and friends of the murdered, a decent sympathy that ought to be accompanied by a decent reticence. Because Virginia Tech—alas for poor humanity—was a calamity with no implications beyond itself. In the meantime, and in expectation of rather stiffer challenges to our composure, we might practice nailing the colors to the mast rather than engaging in a permanent dress rehearsal for masochism and the lachrymose.

P. S. THE NEW YORKER couldn't resist: SMOKED MOZZARELLA COMES THROUGH -- with TACO TALK!!!!! (See the URL)

We will not read it. We would hope this time he came through with some sauce, so he can be laughed out of the profession -- or more likely, so America's Most Overrated Editor can nominate him for 15 National Magazine Awards.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Surprise: Toyota's No. 1.

What will GM do about it? Go to No. 4, we'd guess.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

The MESS becomes the latest site to IMPROVE itself, its headlines smaller and with their blue font harder to read. Every time we see a Web site "improve" it's bad news. What's wrong with staying the same for a few months?

Sorry, "editor", Ctrl+F5 (or as you must put it, "control-F5") does nothing. Neither does increasiong the font sizes, which renders the site even harder to read.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

In the wake of last week's head-bashing mea culpas, a question: Whose death has gotten more coverage -- Boris Yeltsin's or David Halberstam's?

The hacks are breaking their own records for self-absorption.

Posted 11:57 AM by Gene

Oooooh, PINCH's peasants are mad: they'd withheld 42 percent of their votes from His directors slate!

The Sulzberger and Ochs families own Class B shares, which allow them to appoint nine of the company's 13 directors. Class A shareholders voted on the remaining four today.

So there!

Posted 11:28 AM by Gene

Who would have thought this: Lucy Van Pelt has enemies -- and one of them is the aw-shucks folksy charmin' Bob Schieffer!

To which we say, Bob should have thought about it before he quit his prior job.

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

We keep hearing the housing-market bust won't hurt anybody, and maybe it won't, but heck all that unsold ticky-tacky has to do something.

Posted 9:57 AM by Gene

Apparently the terrible death of David Halberstam in a car accident has caused another of those collective nervous breakdowns in the news biz. We can see the masses of six-figures calling him "legendary" -- they don't know better. Likewise we can see Anthony Lewis calling him the greatest JERNALIST of his generation; judging from his declining op-eds he didn't know better. But when everybody praises somebody in that knee-jerk lockstep style something's up, and it can flatten even the most meritorious of reputations. And it seems Halberstam ENDED AN UNJUST WAR. This, of course, is the sort of daydreaming news hacks do when they're not telling the truth, or else making their big salaries. Whether one news hack ENDED the war is doubtful, and of course it would never occur to the hacks to ask themselves if it was the right thing, they always being right. That said we are not terribly familiar with Halberstam; our judgment is of an exceptionally diligent reporter who was long-winded, very long-winded, and often those qualities that might raise suspicions in the peons raise the hallelujahs in the news hacks. Certainly the man was curious, an attribute to be greatly encouraged in every reporter. He died on his way to work, which was fitting, and we fervently hope it wasn't a drunken driver.

Posted 8:37 PM by Gene

"So, what's the mood on campus?"

We've come to the point at which murderous psychopaths and TV news executives are of the same mind when it comes to human tragedy: It's a branding opportunity.

"Students in general will also be declining all requests and contact from the media," the statement says.

NO COMMENT.

Thank you again, Romy!

P. S.

News » Nation ▪ Virginia Tech Shootings ▪ States ▪ Lotteries [Links above a story of another multiple murder]

▪ MORONS.

Posted 7:41 PM by Gene

SUMNER suspends two more of His employees for engaging in Match-Game-style infant "humor" ("flied lice", "hot, Asian, spicy").

At this rate He may want to suspend His entire empire. It's deserving enough. Who needs them anyway?

Posted 6:34 PM by Gene

Well, for selling horse racing, I guess this beats broken-down horses and bums with cigars.

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

Aw -- SHUCKS, the MASSACRE RALLY ends (temporarily, anyway).

We have a few sarcastic comments but we'll keep them to ourselves.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

WE HAVE NOT LOST IN IRAQ!!!!!!!!!! -- but it wouldn't be such a bad idea!

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

The only two questions to ask of these online presidential debates are 1. Just how irrelevant can presidential debates become? and 2. Which will be softer -- marshmallows or Charlie Rose's questions?

Posted 1:31 PM by Gene

Another sport -- figure skating -- signs a no-rights-fee deal with a network.

One would like to think this presages more such deals, but CEOs in luxury suites tell us better.

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

Everybody's favorite martyred TV columnist Gail says Lucy Van Pelt may QUIT after the 2008 election!

$15 million a year says nada.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 11:01 AM by Gene

From Cho to Harry Reid, it was not a good week for self-control, chuckle chuckle. [Front-page subhed; last two words added]

YOU SAID IT, R. EMMETT!!!!!

Posted 10:46 AM by Gene

EVIL EXTREME-RIGHT NAZI RACIST HOMOPHOBIC THEOCRATIC CHRISTIAN....

Yep, "'Bill Moyers Journal' Back on PBS."

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

BRING BACK THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY!

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

We are sorry to hear Boris Yeltsin has died. He had the guts and fearlessness to take down the Soviet establishment. It will be his black mark, however, that his drunkenness so robbed him of will and even basic competence that he couldn't follow through, with the result the world is now stuck with Belly Kisser, and a new authoritarian Russian state for as far as the eye can see.

(Link at 10:05 a.m.)

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

More good news for those of us who can't stand news hacks: online ad revenues are slowing!

GOOD!

Comprenez-vous, Wall Street Journals?

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

"VT Stay Strong—Media Stay Away."

WE DIDN'T THINK YOU HEARD THAT!!!!!

But as such stories have gained in national stature, the network newscasts have lost their sense of proportion. In the Virginia shooting, 33 people died (including the shooter). By last Thursday, the nightly newscasts had accorded these killings 180 minutes of airtime—exceeding an entire week's worth of coverage of an Indonesian tsunami (156 min). On Tuesday, the story accounted for 96% of the combined news hole.

This is what happens when cynics pull their we're-part-of-the-people gag. That accounts for much of the excess; the empty-one-upmanship accounts for the rest.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Why do we think "Loser" Reid would be as hopelessly lost as Dubya, if not more so?

Posted 8:37 PM by Gene

A conservative and a socialist will runoff for France's presidency.

Why do we suspect there's less difference here than meets the eye?

Posted 8:21 PM by Gene

OBESITY FEAR FRENZY GRIPS FOOD INDUSTRY!!!!!!!!!! [Frenzied overemphasis added]



Maybe if we hadn't done this sort of thing for oh, sixty years....

Even critic Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas, acknowledges that changes to advertising won't solve the obesity problem. But he told a recent Kaiser Family Foundation panel "advertising is a target ... one I think that we can address and move forward with quickly."

Heck -- it worked!

Posted 1:01 PM by Gene

Microscopic progress: even the boom-booms agree psychos shouldn't have guns.

Posted 12:43 PM by Gene

Some small sliver of hope: reinstating in loco parentis in some form. But since the HACKS keep telling us it's a CONSERVATIVE thing, and since the Dubyas with their welters of well-meaning laws have pretty much eviscerated it, we should just go back to wailing and moaning and gnashing our teeth.

Posted 11:37 AM by Gene

Now Zimbabwe can see end of the road for its 'brutal old man'

I wouldn't hold my breath -- that's what they keep saying about Fidel.

Posted 11:35 AM by Gene

In the LALALand of the east, a preacher:

He doesn't preach about helping the poor or aligning society with Christian values. Rather, he teaches that sin and the devil don't exist, and that his followers already are spiritually perfect.

How does that differ from, say, SUMNER, or your top editors and academics?

Posted 10:30 AM by Gene

Um, does anyone other than DEVINS and DICK CORLISSES need convincing this isn't a SUPERMEGAPLATINUM AGE OF FILLUM?

How revoltin': the immortal Barbara Stanwyck would be 100 this year. Why can't she be 21 again?

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

University of Texas * University of Iowa * Paducah * Columbine * Red Lake * Amish Country * Virginia Tech . . .

Amidst the veritable cosmic waves of drivel over this Moebius strip of a subject, no one has raised the question: Can America live with this violence? Who will be the first to say yes? Who will defend our culture of death? Who will say that death is tolerable compared to the alternatives? Who will say we cannot control ourselves, therefore we must accept death as the consequence?

Not ONE writer has had the guts to face this topic squarely, choosing instead the "cold", meaningless platitudes of fake compassion, and the flailing for solace where none exists.

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

Common sense in the Beltway -- for the first time in ages:

Bush defers to comedian at annual roast
In wake of Va. Tech, president says it’s best that Rich Little do the jokes

To be sure, we'd have chosen someone other than Rich to do the jokes, but then again, given our druthers, we'd have chosen someone other than Dubya to be the president.

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

Mall is a four-letter word. Such is the word's appeal that even in LALALand, one big splotch of suburban sprawl, Babbitts have to disguise the malls into a make-believe world of yesterday, the yesterday (and cities) they helped obliterate by building so many of their needless, faceless MALLS.