Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Friday, September 02, 2011

A dreadful juxtaposition from I Want Media:

There's no proof raising prices or shuttering bureaus will make the product better; they only add to the confluence of problems making it worse. But midst the footstomping banshee-screaming campaigning now starting to waft from our "news" organs we will only root for more disasters, which means in time a news system that functions well for no one.

Speaking of Lord Gods, we wonder if FREE EN-TER-PRISE will work with space exploration when you have five hundred NASAs run by five hundred Wernher von Brauns, all making a mark on HISSSSSSS-TORY, and most of whom will merely add to our accretion of space junk.

When Meghan DeTore got a Chinese symbol tattooed on her ankle, it made her feel like part of the in crowd in college. But a few years after graduation, it triggered a different emotion: embarrassment.

“It was supposed to symbolize a warrior and a scholar,’’ said DeTore, 31, the marketing director for a Boston investment firm, “but who knows what it really meant. A Chinese-speaking friend later told me the closest translation was ‘mud pie.’ ’’

We certainly will not make fun of this lady: she got that tattoo off, though it cost only 45 times what it cost to put it on.

“At work, I’m the poster child for not getting a tattoo,’’ she said. “One of my colleagues has told her children all about me.’’

Good! And with luck they'll be spared the trauma of having an ugly blue blotch expand with their waistlines.

If the Lord God wanted people with blue skin He'd have made them.

So -- Eva Peron, whose husband helped Eichmann and Mengele escape justice, sequestered treasures stolen from Jews.

I don't feel the least sorry for LORD LLOUD WUBBISH, who turned Eva into something of a heroine, and who is preparing another theme park of His masterwork. Certainly it will be harder to sing "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina" without -- irony.



Hey Eddie! EDDIE! HERE's a civic center! Remember: Build them ugly buildings and they will come!

I know, we're supposed to get all RIP-ROARIN' EXCITED about the start of the PROFESSIONAL KOLLEDGE FOOTBALL SEASON -- so am I the only person with no appetite, one that will not be awakened by any screaming of sports hacks obsessing over their PROFIT CENTERS? It's not a question of how many teams have GAMED the rules, it's by how much. When both teams in this ENORMOUS event share an, uh, agent that says the rot is pretty well universal. Mercenaries, more mercenaries, agents for mercenaries, millionaires and bums and unpaid millionaire bums taste about alike to me.

Speaking further of the superrich, we recall the ending to the 1930 Kaufman and Hart comedy Once in a Lifetime (which is pretty fair despite its age -- or the ending): George Lewis, a fool who has become a superproducer in Hollywood thanks to his supreme incompetence (sound familiar?), decides on a whim to buy two thousand "aeroplanes" -- whereupon his nominal boss the studio mogul Glogauer (read Jack Warner) bursts in and congratulates George for his "genius" (that word materializes quite often in this play) -- because no one else can make any "aeroplane" pictures! That scene popped up in beholding the superproducer Joe Roth and his "genius" at Revolution Studios. He is a modern-day George Lewis; he doesn't need "aeroplanes" when he can buy tons of turkeys. He is immortal alone for Gheeley -- er, Giggly -- er, Gigi? -- GIGLI, but anyone who's produced as many stinkers as Joe solely to spend money should attract lawyers the way movies attract flies. That he has since redeemed himself does not mean he has left his inner George behind; with luck it will give him new confidence to buy yet another batch of turkeys.

Speaking of the superrich, they must be doing something right:

U.S. adds zero jobs

Something -- anything?

This remarkable piece by Noemie Emery shows why our ruling superiors won't be back in our good graces soon. Many are entitled, and they are arrogant. And they are worse than anything in the Gilded Age because some of Boss Tweed's ill-gotten wealth flowed back to the people. And still worse they have no shame. Dennis the Menace thinks he's still a "viable" candidate for president when the only white house he's "viable" for is a dog house.

And we'd go one step further: any candidate who spends zillions on TV ads to proclaim he's fiscally responsible is not worthy of office -- PERIOD.

Thursday, September 01, 2011


Report says Vancouver cops not ready

Further surprise:

Adding to the city's embarrassment is the fact that police have not yet charged anyone in connection with the riots. Police Chief Jim Chu said police are still identifying people from video and photographs.

We guess the Canadians really don't want to charge anybody because it wouldn't be PC. Eh?

DOW 36,000 (haven't mentioned him in a while, have we!) says The Real Way to Increase Infrastructure Jobs is to let AT&T gobble up T-Mobile, meaning HE hasn't a clue either.

His Incompetence's idea of CAPITALISM:

A company that served as a showcase for the Obama administration’s effort to create jobs in clean technology shut down Wednesday, leaving 1,100 people out of work and taxpayers obligated for $535 million in federal loans.

Solyndra, a California solar panel maker, had long been an administration favorite. Over the past two years, President Obama and Energy Secretary Steven Chu each had made congratulatory visits to the company’s Silicon Valley headquarters.

We were about to day "the best laid plans of mice" but His Incompetence's crew doesn't qualify.

P. S. from a scant two years ago:

Following the announcement that the loan guarantee has just closed, Vice President Biden said, “These are jobs that won’t be exported.”

We guess not!

The Governor [you know which governor THAT is] brought out his one liner: “Hasta la vista to global warming.” He’s calling today a “big celebration” and an example of how to protect jobs and help both the environment and the economy. Referring to the New United Motor Manufacturing Inc. factory that Toyota just announced it will be closing in spite of the state’s financial incentive offerings, Schwarzenegger said having the Solyndra plant located in Fremont is a point of pride for him, because “the city is still stinging from losing NUMMI jobs.” The Governor is pushing for state legislators to pass Assembly Bill 1111, which would exempt new manufacturing equipment for cleantech companies from sales tax.

You still looking for a job, Hasta?

(Original link via TINA!)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The other day we mentioned Al Jolson. We also tried looking at that Hollywood and the Stars episode dedicated to him. We couldn't finish. It wasn't Jolson; though his rep comes greatly from yahaddabethere, even through the day's rotten film and audio technology he communicates his powerful persona. No, it was blackface. The thing about blackface isn't so much that it's racist; the Jews who claimed it from the antediluvian minstrel acts (think also Eddie Cantor) were at worst well meaning and it is extremely unlikely they hated blacks; they were part of their audiences and shared in political persecution. So it's not just the racism even though it's bad enough. No, the thing about blackface is it looks stupid. Jolson and Cantor were great entertainers without it; the greasepaint amplified every undesirable facial tic until the wearer became a cringing, pathetic slob. Blackface should never and will never come back, but with Jolson and Cantor let us never confuse those faces for the talents too well hidden underneath.

As for Jack Benny's eulogy at the dedication of Jolson's memorial: it should have struck us it was probably ghostwritten, but we'd like to think it wasn't, and our comments on the old Hollywood still stand.

We will defend Dr. Lukasz Gottwald from the charge of plagiarism because the man's probably so busy banging tones on his synth (or whatever) he hasn't the time to notice. We will also defend him from the charge by saying if it takes carefully nuanced YouTube videos to discern likenesses to his songs they're not worth noticing. We will especially defend him from the charge by saying there's likely not a note from the "plagiarized" songs worth plagiarizing, meaning except for their aura of success there's likely not a note from his songs worth plagiarizing, or that posterity will find worthy of it.

Only in Washington:

D.C. Attorney General Irvin B. Nathan filed a false-claims complaint Tuesday against the nonprofit group Miracle Hands and its director, reformed gangster Cornell Jones, charging them with misappropriating more than $300,000 from the city’s HIV/AIDS program for renovations on a proposed job training center that instead was used to open a strip club.

Come to think of it, this could happen in Philthydelphia too, but it's more likely to happen in Washington.

John Tammy -- Tammany -- TAMNY defends Miami because, in so many words, it's practiced FREE EN-TER-PRISE -- and because it's been PERSECUTED for EXERCISING ITS FIRST-AMENDMENT RIGHTS!

Look Tammy, if you want to defend a booster for lavishing whores on players, fine. And we do agree there's been a lot of self-righteousness here; it goes with the corrupt system. But you prove "free-enterprise" types can be just as dense as screaming Congressmen -- and even more contemptible.

Okay, so Andre has a bright future as a bad-breathed loudmouth. If that portion of the public that must VOTE had any brains it would turn the loudmouths out, whatever their prejudices.

Hurricane Irene will most likely prove to be one of the 10 costliest catastrophes in the nation’s history, and analysts said that much of the damage might not be covered by insurance because it was caused not by winds but by flooding, which is excluded from many standard policies.

Industry estimates put the cost of the storm at $7 billion to $10 billion....

Are news hacks trying to justify their wall-to-wall screaming again?

Speaking of con-SER-va-tives:

Sandpoint is emptying, like my account.

Time to replenish it with 500 more irritating voiceovers.

US Firms Paid More to CEOs Than Taxes in 2010: Study

This is a liberal policy group. This gives con-SER-va-tives an excuse to scream about all those greedy union workers making $40,000 a year. This gives liberals an excuse to call con-SER-va-tives NAZIS. This gives con-SER-va-tives an excuse to call liberals COMSYMPS.


The Puzzle Palace of the Wall Street Casino creates another one:

S&P Rates Subprime Mortgages Higher Than U.S.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

And speaking of SCHNOZZOLA...


All that...thing needs is WOOD -- then it could be a Pinocchio museum.

And does that...thing have ZITS?

A minimalized minimalist Taj Mahal.

Hey kids! Wanna live in a mausoleum?


Now if you spin it like a top....

What's that badly constructed prime minister doing here?

We hope the ARCH doesn't mind our cutting and pasting this in full, complete with unwanted font:

A minor transatlantic controversy erupted last month after “architecture minister” aka Parliamentary Under Secretary of State at the Department for Culture, Media and Sport with responsibility for architecture and the built environment John Penrose apparently compared architects with other negatively-stereotyped groups, noting architects are “just one of those groups people love to mock.” The comments were part of a longer blog post about Rowan Atkinson, Dreamland, and VisitEngland’s new Smartphone-based marketing campaign.

The story was first reported by’s Mark Wilding on July 18. Wilding calls Penrose’s comments “shocking,” adding that “architects may not be pleased to hear that they are lumped in with ‘slippery estate agents, over-paid footballers and disingenuous politicians,’ as the minister attempts to tackle the public’s attitude towards the profession.” The story was re-reported by the Architectural Record News Wire on July 22, under the headline “Profession is a Joke to Public, Says UK Architecture Minister.” The story notes how Penrose believes that “people love to mock architects” and reiterates his comparison of architects “slippery real-estate agents” et al.

Penrose’s comments are far less damning than Wilding’s tabloid-esque reportage would lead us to believe. From the July 15 DCMS blog entry, “Dustbins, bicycles, roller coasters and a plug for QR (which is QI):”

“Rowan Atkinson used to do a stand-up show in the early eighties which began with him emerging from a seat in the stalls and, as he clambered onto the stage, launching into a rant about architects and architecture:

“Modern architects – scum of the earth. It doesn’t matter what you ask them to design, they still come up with something that looks like an old dustbin with a bicycle sticking out of the top.”

It went down a storm. And, thirty years on, it would probably do so again. Completely unfair of course and downright insulting but, in much the same way we like to take the mickey out of, for example, slippery estate agents, over-paid footballers and disingenuous politicians (present company excepted, needless to say), architects are just one of those groups people love to mock.”

Penrose’s comments are certainly inappropriate, but Wilding’s sanctimonious commentary is far more embarrassing for the field. Wilding’s hypersensitivity reveals a deep cynicism about our field’s possible decline with respect to its place in the world; a perpetual cycle wherein we continue to shun any reference to our lack of relevance in the hope that the problem will go away, without realizing that in fighting that fight we’ve already conceded.

Wilding’s article:

Architectural Record Newswire:

We call it -- DROLL.

Is this not a definition of VAPID?

Is this not a definition of PEOPLE WARNER?

"WE JUST HIKED THE RATE BASE 200,000!!!!!" Mr. Bew-KES would scream. Hey buddy, where's your PEPÉ LE PEW AND MARVIN THE MARTIAN MOVEES? They look like co-stars!

Is it me, but am I sensing through uber-CW sites like Yahoo! News the slowly creeping notion that 9-11 just "happened"? If so, we must pray for another media stock meltdown. Anyone for MNI at 44 cents again? ME!

Warren Buffett, And His Board, May Be Too Old To Run Berkshire Hathaway

In human years. In GOD years They haven't started.

Well all RIGHT, it looks better in the daytime!


Rick Perry Isn’t Just a Pro-Life Governor: HE'S AN ANTI-CHOICE ZEALOT!!!!!!!!!! [Chosen overemphasis added]

Wait! Aren't all those NAZIS!!!!! like that?

A WikiLeaks file containing the original leaked US State Department cables has inadvertently been released onto the Internet. The documents have not been edited to protect sources, meaning that the lives of informants could be at risk.

NO PROBLEM! Pfffffffffffffft!

(Via The Daily Kaplan via Daily Intel)

Monday, August 29, 2011

In editing a post from February on Hollywood and the Stars I've just learned -- now! -- that there's a huge memorial in Culver City to Al Jolson, where he is buried, and that Jack Benny delivered the dedication, which closes thus:

Before I finish, I’d like you to know that this isn’t the only shrine to Al Jolson. Eight thousand miles from here, nestled in the hills of Korea, is an outdoor amphitheater where our troops are entertained. This amphitheater is within a few miles of the disputed Thirty-eighth Parallel . . . and it is called the Al Jolson Bowl. To those boys eight thousand miles away who gather there every day, the memory of Al Jolson, as with us, will never die.

We now know how far Hollywood came, how far it has since come, and why it can never come back. Cue the music again, Elmer.

What is this spooky, disconcerting, unattractive building?

It's the NEW! St. Jack of Valenti School of Communication at the University of Houston!

(Actually, we learn this combines two buildings; the one devoted to the inventor of BOTULISM-TAINTED ALPHABET SOUP is on the right.)

By the way, some hack's expression of grief over His tragic loss made it into a tribute video! Meaning...


And Blathering Bradlee too!

Privately, government sources admit that they have no interest in pursuing the extradition of Megrahi despite the regime change in Libya. But they are anxious not to be seen as condoning the decision to release him. Macabre as it may be, ministers would like to see Megrahi die quickly and end the two-year controversy over his early release.

Will the "new" Libya really be a sweet breath of Arab springtime air -- or just more of the same foul stench of corruption?

No 4G high-speed wireless connection. No honking-big screen. No quad core processor. The next iPhone may not seem terribly exciting, which might hint that Apple is up to something very interesting: weakening the power of wireless carriers over its customers.

In the latest sign that Apple’s next iPhone will be just an incremental improvement, Taiwan’s DigiTimes reported Monday the next iPhone will feature a 3.5 to 3.7 inch touch panel, rather than the 4.2-inch screen that had long been rumored.

“The sources pointed out that the upcoming iPhone will not have many differences compared to iPhone 4 in terms of components and the panel will still be less than 4-inch,” the trade paper reported.

The mystery deepens when you add up all the other faddish — and expensive — features the next iPhone may not have.

Quad-core processors will be coming to mobile devices this year. Not Apple’s iPhone, which will probably get the iPad’s dual core chip.

Sprint and Verizon are both pushing phones that can use high-speed 4G wireless data connections. Apple may refrain: many analysts think the more efficient 4G wireless chips Apple wants won’t be ready in time for the next iPhone.

So what will make the next iPhone different? Not software, Apple has already said the new iteration of its iOS software — and Apple’s new cloud services — will work fine on today’s iPhone’s and iPads.

Here’s a possibility: Apple’s next iPhone will work on any wireless carrier — or none at all.

The rot sets in! Pfffffffffffft!

We will not say this will be a failure because the back of our head may not like it. And we can't say this is necessarily hubris as pro teams have a tradition of burning money. So we will think, as we did with THE KING, that attitude can only go so far.


We chatted with Rep. Anna Eshoo Monday on the day that the Silicon Valley Democrat officially announced her re-election campaign.

But like many Democrats, during the recess she's been getting an earful of frustration from her constituents back home -- about Congress and about President Obama. Yes, even from Dems in one of the bluest parts of the country.

"I would characterize it in the following way," Eshoo told me and Comrade Marinucci Monday: "They are very much looking for the person who ran.

"He was transformational in terms of his vision. He was transformational in terms of his hope. He lifted people up. One of the great gifts of great leaders is that they do lift people up. These are very, very tough times for our country.

"There is an element, an ingredient in leadership, that is about speaking not only to the mind, but to the hearts of people. He did that in his campaign. Now he's speaking to the mind, but not necessarily to the heart," Eshoo said.

"He's highly cerebral. There were many journalists and editorial writers who said he has a 'presidential temperment,'" Eshoo said. "That was applauded when he was running. And now some people are saying that because he's 'No drama Obama,'that he's too cool.

"I think in politics it's very important to mix your passion with your convictions. That's not partisan. It comes from a deep place. People are hungry for that and I think it is an essential ingredient for leadership."


P. S. on 9/2/2011 at 8:05 p. m. I hadn't noticed that egregious canned laughter, meaning (along with annoying ESPNCORP NETWORK bug) this probably first aired on America's "Funniest" Home Videos -- presumably after ESPNCORP NETWORK management safely determined twenty people had been fired over the incident.

Sociologists, the intellectual versions of astrologists, had to hold their annual convention in VEGAS because they didn't want to CROSS PICKET LINES in Chicago, and so in addition to the abundant cheap local delicacies they feasted on ample SOLE:

Sara Goldrick-Rab, associate professor of educational policy studies and sociology at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, emphatically agreed. “I found it hard to believe we sociologists would come to a place that clearly thrives on the exploitation of people’s financial and emotional insecurities,” she wrote in an e-mail. “The grotesque treatment of young women was visible and jarring.”

But some of those in attendance weren’t complaining. “Who are you kidding?” said one young faculty member from a university outside the U.S., of those who said they were not enjoying the Vegas experience. “Go out, have fun, check out all the eye candy.”

Perhaps not incidentally, this faculty member was male – as was the graduate student from a highly respected private institution who suggested that any dislike of or discomfort with Las Vegas was limited to the conference’s female attendees. Also male: the grad student from a California public who smilingly boasted of having slipped a small bribe to the man at the check-in desk in exchange for a room with a good view of the pools (and the bikini-clad women therein) – which view, he said, he found rather distracting as he sat in his room preparing his presentation.

Oh, and should we mention the letters P and C?

(And there was a little of the sociologists in Vegas, too -- at least at Caesars Palace. The hotel, like most of the Strip, seems more than comfortable with traditional gender roles, even charging men more than women for the use of its pools. But the ASA made its own adjustment, posting a large sign on a pair of restrooms in the conference area that declared them both to be unisex -- a move intended to provide support for transgender sociologists.)

Unfortunately some noozpaper blogger or something proved he liked the taste too, as witness this delectable leather morsel:

“People think they’re having fun here. But in fact they’re wandering through a maze of really inauthentic, fake landscapes.”

First of all, you’re probably wandering into a dangerous maze yourself by telling people that when they think they’re having fun they’re not actually having fun.

Second, authentic, the dictionary says, means “not false or copied; genuine; real.” That’s the beauty of the Strip — there’s no place like it, so how can it be anything but authentic. It’s also totally honest about what it is, unlike the rest of the country....

As for dressing up and showing themselves to other people — uh, what? How does this make us different?

A separate critique was equally ignorant — that Las Vegas isn’t sustainable.

It’s easy to see the fountains on the Strip and feel the dry heat of the Mojave and presume we’re not sustainable. But as Robert Lang, director of Brookings-Mountain West, noted, we’re closer to our water source than any other city that relies on the Colorado River.
[Links definitely added]

Closer indeed!

As this bozo proves, when Mike Royko and Mike Kelly died, they took the nooz biz with them.

*Caveat: sociologists.


Greek Stocks Soar Most in More Than 20 Years

There's probably a Greek joke here someplace, which would be the moral equivalent of a Polish joke.

May we now categorically say making PR0N is the sexual equivalent of Russian roulette?

And speaking of DENSE:

“Until we know for sure, we’ve asked the industry to have a moratorium on production,” said Diane Duke, executive director of the Free Speech Coalition, a Canoga Park-based porn industry trade group. [Emphasis added]

Right, Diane -- your free speech is someone else's FATAL ILLNESS.

Disney factory faces probe into sweatshop suicide claims

Who'da thought?

Sturdy Products....

Sure UB, sure.

(Via I Want Media)

We didn't hear about any F-BOMBS last night -- which may mean there were so many even Dave "God This Beats Working" Novak didn't notice.

Which reminds us -- is Frank 'n' Igor's creature starting to resemble something from a fifties pinup? And we do NOT mean that flatteringly.

AHTSJournal had to sic this one on us:

You know, one of the more peculiar aspects of television as it has evolved over the past decade is that just as it has become increasingly sophisticated it has simultaneously become increasingly vulgar and banal.

So -- does that excuse the ge-NIUS? Or is the increasingly vulgar and banal so vulgar and banal as to more than wipe it out? Let us not forget the TWXSTERS' naked history lessons. Are they vulgar or banal or are they ge-NIUS because they're CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED?

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I lost my passion for Apple


(Via Seeking Alpha)

Alhambra burglars pose as cable TV repairmen, police say

In light of the MEDIA MIRACLE OF THE UNIVERSE being headquartered here, and because the alleged burglars "worked" for PEOPLE WARNER CABLE, NO COMMENT.

4:40 A. M.:

Staten Island Hotel reports that their basement is flooding. #Irene #nywx


Saturday, August 27, 2011

TRANSLATION: Why couldn't MORT ZUCK have put His KOLLEDGE SCAM out of business along with USELESS NEWS?

Though it doesn’t specifically survey for it, U.S. News also offers a kind of left-handed index of student satisfaction. Colleges report how many of their graduates contribute in a typical year. As we read “Best Colleges,” we were struck by how many grads don’t send their alma mater even a symbolic check. At Harvard, 63 percent give nothing at all. At Vanderbilt, 74 percent demur, as do 87 percent at UCLA. The non- donors are probably pleased to have degrees, but could quite a few have less than fond memories of their campus years?

Or perhaps they feel that they already “gave” when they paid sky-high tuition bills?


(Revised with added CV! on 8/29/2011)

I've said before America has heroes, if only she knew it. But the heroes merely do their everyday jobs and are not in the market for heroism. Their heroism is so everyday, so matter-of-fact we can't see it, but it's in our nation's sinews. The brave souls who risk death mining coal are an example. They will definitely not take credit for heroism, but without them our industry would be a shadow of the even the shadow that it is, and they are part of our might.

On this dreary, rainy day when THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!!! (or not) I stumbled onto the sometimes gladdening, sometimes infuriating site, and came across Vol. 19 of the infamous anthologies with the famous name NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUUUUUUUUUUUUSIC!!!!! (The title's so preposterous the three stoo -- owners have taken to just calling it NOW!!!!!) Out of idle curiosity and bored into torpor by the rain I found the official Web site -- and before I could mute the volume the first thing out of the tinny ALTEC speakers on my fine Eh-SUS laptop was WOMAN WITH THE BOOBS, who DOES use Autotune. Then I happened on the Terms, and decided right there all three entities should be fumigated.

And I felt a sense of happiness, knowing venting my spleen on ROCK mu-SICK cri-TICS was thoroughly justified. I haven't seen their likes on GRATE.COM lately. I hope I never have to again. The firing of Jack Shafer makes that unlikely.

And now, for a tinge of nostalgia and excellence to settle the stomach here again is someone other than WOMAN WITH THE BOOBS, singing something not concocted by Dr. Frankenstein and Igor.

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