Posted 9:10 PM by Gene

We should have posted earlier: An inescapable mark of our city's RENDELLISM is the flotilla of dubious tourist dinghies on wheels that chug around all the touristy spots making big money for all the waiters, bellhops and busboys who RENDELLISM's inventor says will fuel our 21st-century economy. I call them The Alan Sues Memorial Flotilla as I can see that hyperactive unfunny comic taking the mike and making also sorts of unwise cracks about the wonders they're passing while playing all sorts of stupid tunes on the PA. One time on South Street (which the Sueses canNOT reconnoiter without playing "South Street") a dinghy got in a fender bender and acquired a pretty fair gash; even before then I wondered how they'd fare in an accident on the river. Calamitously, we have found out. We can guess how this could have happened: The motley crews are so busy providing the tourists ENTERTAINMENT (and with RENDELLISM providing ENTERTAINMENT is the NOBLEST CAUSE -- was not A GREAT ENTERTAINMENT FILMED HERE?) they probably don't know their sterns from a hole in the ground on safe boating -- and they don't have to, not that the dinghies could provide it. This disaster will certainly not put an end to the craven catering of tourists at the center of RENDELLISM; it might not even make people think twice before an encounter with these Alans, though on that score it should.

Elsewhere in our city, a city that once knew the noble names of the Baldwin Locomotive Works, the Pennsylvania Railroad, the Budd Company and Stetson, an ah-TEEST proposes erecting a fifty-foot paint brush, and the locals, who don't know their sterns from a hole in the ground either (a CABLE MAGNATE fully fits that bill), magnificently swoon. Judging from the tilting design this is a sure repeat of the civic-proud stupidity in Manchester -- and that masterwork was TORN DOWN.

P. S. on 7/16 at 10:40 p. m. We should make clear the operators of the tugboat that towed the barge that collided with the dinghy appear to have been the irresponsible party; but tourists wouldn't risk their lives in dinghies but for the RENDELLISTS' fiscal thrill of TOURISM.