Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Saturday, April 05, 2003
Posted
8:27 PM
by Gene
No further comment, because then I'd turn libelous.
Posted
7:01 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:47 PM
by Gene
![]() A US Army vehicle from the 4th Battalion, 64th Armored Regiment, smashes a mosaic of Saddam Hussein outside the Iraqi Republican Guard Medina Division headquarters south of Baghdad. (AP Photo)
Posted
4:26 PM
by Gene
There's no guarantee of a surge if SARS replaces Saddam as the foe. This to a story by Marshall "WE WIN! WE WIN!" Loeb.
Posted
4:09 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:00 PM
by Gene
8. Post monthly archives. If a blogger posts a lot, this means you have to wait and wait and wait for the archive to download, and then you have to scroll and scroll and scroll to read everything. (Biggest offender: littlegreenfootballs, an otherwise solid blog.)
Posted
12:01 PM
by Gene
This picture was taken just today outside our army HQ in Germany. I guess we can call it instant nostalgia. (And many other things.)
Posted
9:40 AM
by Gene
And Peter Arnett would have believed it again. Heck, they could have plastered "SCHOOL FOR GIRLS" all over the building in English. What cares Peter?
Posted
9:29 AM
by Gene
That's okay. The rest of the world has done it for decades.
Posted
9:27 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Of course, we could call this a massacre....
Posted
8:32 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
Wait a second! I thought your soldiers were still all alive!
Posted
8:25 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:18 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:16 AM
by Gene
These same people watched the BBC to get their word from "the street." Shut up, Langley.
Posted
8:09 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:03 AM
by Gene
Wanna bet he clams up during his war-crimes trial?
Posted
7:56 AM
by Gene
Friday, April 04, 2003
Posted
7:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:09 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
This is why the pro-Saddam forces are beneath contempt, but we must face it: after the war, they'll still be teaching, they'll still be acting, they'll still be scribbling, they'll still be protesting. P. S. Yes, it occurs to me, this might be amateur Web psyops (itself a definition of, GET A LIFE!); and I should have had qualms posting it. Either way, it stinks.
Posted
5:45 PM
by Gene
![]() Like I said.
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
WHAT WILL THE STREET THINK?!? (chuckle chuckle)
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
Not that he needs to do much.
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
I think it's because it can be spread by Wal-Mart.
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
Take THAT, Prof. InstaPundit!
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:00 PM
by Gene
Maybe.
Posted
4:56 PM
by Gene
We'll win this one in your memory too.
Posted
4:52 PM
by Gene
As Jack Benny would say, "Wwwwwwwwwell!"
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
Go for it! And let's see what it gets your country in foreign aid.
Posted
6:18 AM
by Gene
Likely story.
Posted
6:14 AM
by Gene
If they couldn't get the WMDs out of Iraq, they can't run the oil industry either. Thursday, April 03, 2003
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
Curtsey when you say that!
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
"Duh, we support the troops but, duh, uh, we don't support their uh, commander-in-, uh, the commander-in-, uhhhhhh, the uhhhhhh, the guy who gives the orders, so uh, I guess, duh, I guess we don't support the troops, duhhhhhhhh."
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
An IRAQI ayatollah. You're DEAD MEAT, Saddam. (Assuming you haven't been at room temperature for a while already.)
Posted
5:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
I guess the people who said I told you so can now say I told you so again.
Posted
6:31 AM
by Gene
Norman Schwarzkopf said war in Iraq was BAD. Hey Norm, just because you were a war hero and appeared on TV doesn't mean you know anything.
Posted
6:29 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Posted
7:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:01 PM
by Gene
Now if only we could psychically insulate ourselves from our enemies -- like France, Germany, Turkey, Canada....
Posted
5:51 PM
by Gene
What planet do they live on? France?
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
I'm sure the perfesser's quaking in his Hush Puppies.
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
(Actually, it's 800 grand, but if he can do it, so can I.)
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
![]() Nothing like a good golf game on the way to Baghdad! Just watch out for that sandtrap.
Posted
4:56 PM
by Gene
Sinclair Lewis had a great line: "I love this country -- and I don't like it!" When did you remove the last self-critical bones in your being, Canadians? Is all you can do harp on us?
Posted
4:52 PM
by Gene
Who needs the man who did "The Naked Maya," right Ty?
Posted
7:12 AM
by Gene
The last time I looked, Wall Street wasn't a bloodhound. It was just a dog.
Posted
7:01 AM
by Gene
SHUT UP, Rupert. FOLLOW UP (posted 4/5): EARTH TO GENE, EARTH TO GENE -- Rupert was right, for once. Read before commenting, you ignoramus. (I have not taken this down as a sign of my own fallibility, although I think this is only the second or third outright boner I've pulled since I started blogging. My only excuse is that I was about to leave for work. That's no excuse -- the Professor blogs during classes. I won't do this again.)
Posted
6:51 AM
by Gene
You can do it up with flowers and lace, but still, this has been a bad year for the collegiate professionals.
Posted
6:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:35 AM
by Gene
It will be a long time before we can look at the rest of the world through pink-tinted glasses. A special thanks to Marco of USA Okay for noting Todd Gitlin is a leftist. I presume Maggie is the same. News hacks can live without an audience. Tuesday, April 01, 2003
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:50 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:38 PM
by Gene
I cannot believe how many people support Saddam! I'll ask again: has the rest of the world had a nervous breakdown? Or just a breakdown?
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
By the way, LALA Times, since when has it been "Saudia Arabia"?
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
You giving a special discount to al-Jazeera viewers, Big G?
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
NO SALE. Monday, March 31, 2003
Posted
8:11 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:01 PM
by Gene
Now he can shed the fiction of being "objective."
Posted
7:15 PM
by Gene
Wait a sec, AOL! Didn't your company (or rather, one of its acquisitions) hire Peter in the first place?
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
"Well," as Bud "Zelig" Selig, Bill Gates without the brains, would say, "that's baseball!"
Posted
6:24 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:21 PM
by Gene
Note the headline. It'll always be Philip Morris. And unless the company gets out of the tobacco biz 100 percent including liabilities (extremely unlikely given the liabilities), it would still be Philip Morris. PR only goes so far.
Posted
6:13 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:49 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
They wouldn't even stop advertising if THIS accusation got more exposure.
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
It's only time before The Osama Channel and its putative "competitors" call this a "massacre." When will the Times chime in with "My Lai"?
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:07 PM
by Gene
Sunday, March 30, 2003
Posted
4:37 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:01 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:43 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:41 PM
by Gene
Hope you see some virgins soon -- and hope they all look like Helen Thomas.
Posted
2:25 PM
by Gene
@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@!!!!!!!!!! And a @#$%^&*(*&^%$#@ to you, Eric Alterman!
Posted
2:13 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:59 PM
by Gene
Otherwise, it's still organized crime.
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
This could give the neurotics another opening: If we haven't found WMDs, doesn't this mean our war was unjustified? The whole point of the war was that Saddam was an evil man with WMDs. To which the answer is, no, because we just haven't found them, and even so, Saddam was going to make them.
Posted
10:54 AM
by Gene
Our covert Vice-President Inside is one of the reasons we can't trust the oil biz. But the oily, legalistic Henry the Wax is one of the reasons we can't trust Congresspoops. And Newsweak (which probably got this most of this news from Henry the Wax) is one of the reasons we can't trust news hacks.
Posted
10:06 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:48 AM
by Gene
Actually, he's already been punished. He won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Posted
9:31 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:16 AM
by Gene
Further risible editorializing: Senators were "ashen-faced" after a meeting with CIA types because "the street" was mad. "They were absolutely depressed," says a convenient staffer. "Much of what the agency briefed," says Newsweak, "would not have been news to any close watcher of the BBC or almost any foreign news broadcast [emphasis mine]." Pffh-hh-hh-hh-hh-hh-hh-hh ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!! That's probably where the CIA got its news.
Posted
9:09 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:04 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:57 AM
by Gene
Good doggy! Nice doggy! The-press-isn't-liberal doggy! Want a Milk-Bone? Arf! Arf!
Posted
8:55 AM
by Gene
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