Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

Idiot:

According to Naureckas, individuals and organizations may be pursuing a political agenda in trying to discredit the documents. "If these things are authentic, there are not a lot of great answers to explain them away. So the idea that they are phony is a lot more attractive to people arguing from that side," he explained.

Possibly. And quite possibly you're pursuing a political agenda defending them. You're just another of the too many clowns right and left who wouldn't know the truth if it hit you with a two-by-four, and who always fall back into that deep recess in your puny heads filled with dogma.

Posted 10:23 AM by Gene

If we need any proof that PBS is just another self-perpetuating organization that no longer pursues its original purpose, we can see it in its addiction to LAWRENCE WELK.

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

"It took us Arabs a while to comprehend that atrocity; many of us cheered; a few felt worried and shocked. Over time, worries and tension intensified," the Saudi writer Mashari al-Thaidi wrote in an article which had attracted nine responses by Saturday afternoon.

A certain Usayd responded by saying that "the Saudi dictatorship has ... a lot of blood on its hands, and Muslims everywhere should recognise the true enemy is not the US.

"The Shaitan (satan) is amung [SIC] us. It is the Sauds (Saudi royal family) themselves. The Sauds created Al-Qaeda, and then lost control of it," he added.

We will take these words from this new Web site (wherever it is) as sincere, but we will never forget that, yes, three years ago, many of you CHEERED. And MORE THAN A FEW OF YOU STILL DO.

One other problem:

THE SITE'S "IN ENGLISH."

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

An excellent idea:

A Literary Forensics Expert Could Get to the Bottom of [T]his

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

And in more news that has nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with PRESS BIAS:

NEWSDAY CIRC CUT BY 100,000

(Caveat: THIS version is from RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who knows a thing or two about bias.)

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

And someone must be fired for THIS Freudian slip, OMERTA:

CBS Sticks to Bush Guard Story
By James Rainey and Elizabeth Jensen
Democrats continue campaign to show that the president got breaks during the Vietnam War.

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

PINCH! WE MUST BUY WIRED FROM SI AND QUASH THESE DOUBTERS!!!!!

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

PINCH YELLS, "WE WIN!!!!! WE WIN!!!!!!!!!!"

OR:

"The first rule of public relations is to get all the bad news out right away," said Tobe Berkovitz, associate dean of Boston University's College of Communication. "It looks like CBS News has made some serious errors here, and if so, they should plead nolo contendere and not do the perp walk later." (Caveat: it's from Howie the Hair Shirt.)

Posted 7:24 PM by Gene

Tonight, network news had a nervous breakdown.

It is hard to believe THE LORD GOD SUMNER will persist with Danno much longer. He may live to be 150, but this very bad year for VIACON -- a richly deserved very bad year -- has perhaps knocked a few years off His life expectancy. (Unless, of course, being Ken Auletta's favorite God, He lives forever.) Possibly God is afraid of challenging the spectre of Murrow, but that ectoplasm doesn't live at Black Rock anymore and wouldn't DARE approach 1515 Broadway; nonetheless anyone who's read the comedy Hamlet knows ghosts can inflict some pretty nasty business on the living. Then again, Kenneth clearly shares THE LORD GOD SUMNER's politics -- and why chase out a certifiable, uh, GENIUS? Still it's not too soon to consider the future of VIACON NETWORK'S EVENING NEWS sans Dan. Who will replace him? John Roberts? A girly man. Bob Schieffer? His political bona fides are as suspect as Danno's, and besides, he's "old." Indeed one can't imagine anyone on the bench with the "heft" of the Decayed Triumvirate, and without commanding figures the nightly network "news" will sink into irrelevance, the core hard-news audience having already migrated to cable, and the indifferent no longer willing to be bothered.

P. S. VIACON CENTRAL was the old HQ of -- W. T. GRANT. Hmmmmmm.

Posted 7:21 PM by Gene

Former President Clinton released from hospital

WOW! That was fast. Nice going, docs!

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

Figures: the much-vaunted TVNewser's behind the curve. CBS News Purchases Tapeless Cameras, Decks!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!! No, in the blogging biz, you gotta get MORE than a gimmick.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Dan "Courageous Frequency Dead-Air Superscript" Blather may be out of the woods, but he could face at least one more hurdle: his affiliates. Presumably a few of the feistier ones (assuming such a thing) will want a meeting with Blather, and while THE LORD GOD SUMNER will hold his together like the Soviets grasping their satellites, Danny Boy may have to air a few dirty handkerchiefs out in public, and maybe one not so satisfied VIACON NETWORKER will demand his resignation to his face. Some of the protective coating on Dandy Dan the Teflon Anchorman may flake off.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

Zeta-Jones Stalker Kept Signed Book

...which she can sell on eBay!

Posted 3:19 PM by Gene

10,000 security cameras are no better than the drones sleeping at the monitors.

Posted 3:00 PM by Gene

Most strange: not only has ROMY fallen into a deep sleep, but so has his LETTERS PAGE: not ONE HACK has written about the Hoax of the Year. You'd think someone would write accusing KARL ROVE of TREASON! But no -- NOTHING!

With this STONEWALLING Romenesko has FORFEITED ANY authority on the news biz.
Lullaby and good night....

P. S. Nothing in the Tweedledum and Tweedledummer of JERNALISM REVUES, but they seem to update once every eight years.

P. P. S. I SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO TRUST WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 1:32 PM by Gene

Christianity had a Martin Luther. Islam needs a Martin Luther. Who will be brave enough to take up the cause?

Posted 1:14 PM by Gene

I got a better idea REUT: Let ESPNCorp name Peter "God's a Republican, I'm a DEMOCRAT" Chernin, Mel KarmaZONNNNNNNNN, Jeff Bewkes, Meg "Rhymes with Mug" Whitman, Paul Pressler, Tom "Our Advertisers Will Buy Anything We Sell" Freston, Terry Semel AND Steve Jobs to run it! Most of them are SOBs, and if the last day's events prove anything, it's that MEDIA TYPES LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE SOBs.

Posted 1:10 PM by Gene

Well, he links to this small bit of bad news about the EVASIVENESS of THE NEWS HACKS' FAVORITE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.

Maybe he should speak to the hacks in FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRENCH!

Posted 1:08 PM by Gene

ROMY! ROOOMY! WAKE UP!!!!! ROOOOOOOOOOOOMYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Posted 11:37 AM by Gene

I pulled a BONER yesterday, which I've pulled:

Hmmmm, I wonder if some JEOPARDY! (gotta remember that EXCLAMATION POINT) -addicted GET-A-LIFE geek failures have hacked TelevisionWeek.com?

Hmmmmmmm. Or was it SONY PICTURES ENTERTAINMENT??????????

Turns out I had the site's name wrong: it's TVWeek.com. And I'm not sure it ever was hacked, though it still sounds like the perfect "revenge."

And my full apologies to Sony Pictures Entertainment.

Posted 11:25 AM by Gene

"The Dishonesty Thing":

THE REAL ISSUE IN THE NATIONAL GUARD STORY ISN'T WHAT GEORGE W. BUSH DID THREE DECADES AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT MY DISHONESTY!

Posted 11:16 AM by Gene

Perhaps the reason "the trail's gone cold" on ELVIS is because HE'S gone cold?

Posted 11:10 AM by Gene

I'm all for "civilized discourse," but our enemies are not, and you can't fight enemies such as ours with civilized discourse.

Think we can ditch the word "DIALOGUE" to the Mariana Trench -- especially when it's used as a verb?

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

What is more forlorn than yesterday's fad?

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

Gnnnnnnnnnnnnnngngnnngnnnnnnnnnnngnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Gnnnnnnnnnnnnnngngnnngnnnnnnnnnnngnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

There goes ROMY, doing his work again.

We should only go after malfeasance in the press when it affects LIBERALS.

(Sorry for the WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

P. S. Hey STERNO! Didn't YAHWEH boast that SIXTY MINUTES THE SECOND was HIS IDEA?!?!?

Posted 6:51 AM by Gene

STERNO wants to stop the MUDSLINGING -- in a post that follows this little gem:

Shadow Traffic and Metro Traffic suck.

I guess it depends on whose pig gets slimed over.

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

Well now that we've buried that story....

And NEWS HACKS didn't do a DAMNED THING -- other than release FAKED MEMOS.

PINCH is already working on something else.

Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

You won't have MICKEYMOUSE NIXON to kick around anymore.

Are the papers readying their special tribute editions?

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

Reality TV Drama Featuring 'Philadelphia Inquirer' in the Works

Isn't it bad enough that these clowns preen IN PRINT?

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!

"The mainstreamers are doing what they always do," said William Powers of the National Journal. "They are wary of anything that smacks of partisan motives...."

KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!

[Doddering old former TV NEWS HACK and JERNALISM perfesser Marvin] Kalb, however, said he believes that the mainstream press has held back in its coverage of Bush in the build-up to the Iraq war, during its aftermath and even now prompted, in part, by the war against terror, patriotism and economics.

KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!

The rise in critical stories about Bush, [Kitty Kelley's] book, and the ads that a group called Texans for Truth plan to run against the president are "like a market correction."

HOW ABOUT A DEPRESSION?

And finally, can't let this one pass:

The Salon story may see new life, however, with a planned report last night on the CBS news show "60 Minutes," in which a former Texas lieutenant governor expressed regret over his role in getting Bush into the National Guard, and a fresh report in The Boston Globe about Bush's failure to report for duty in Massachusetts. A New York Times column Wednesday by Nicholas Kristof headlined "Missing in Action" also provides further witness accounts of Bush's failure to serve in Alabama.

FROM FAKED DOCUMENTS?

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

Dan Rather, it goes without saying, should have been FIRED long ago -- about the time of the Dead Air Incident -- but he won't be because VIACON's liberal, SUMNER's liberal, and DAN'S UNBIASED.

Posted 4:47 PM by Gene

President of the World: Kerry's won the international vote, but can he win here?

With a few million illegal immigrants he could.

Posted 3:26 PM by Gene

Three years later: MOSSAD STEEL DEED EET!

The good thing is, the father of evil SMOKES (the more the merrier!) "and has decorated his apartment with statues of Buddha," which means in the afterlife he'll be in trouble with at least two religions.

Posted 1:25 PM by Gene

Better luck NEXT time, AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS.

Posted 11:42 AM by Gene

HO-HUM, our SUPERIORS in the LUXURY NEWS SUITES may have used FORGERIES to SMEAR DUBYA. Just another day holding your nose up in the air so high you breathe from behind your back.

CAVEAT: The people suggesting this are FREEPERS.

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

WHY NEWS HACKS MUST ALWAYS BE UNDER SUSPICION: They have the critical mass needed so that everything has an ulterior motive.

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Is science fiction finished?

Blahblahblah. Some years ago Luc Sante wrote a pounding attack on sci-fi in Harper's. No, sci-fi has ALWAYS stunk, and with our culture achieving new heights it may just stink more than ever.

And no, we do not sweeten the skunk smell by calling it SPECULATIVE FICTION.

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

In other petitions, two former DEANIACS draw one up demanding record companies MUST make cast albums. While you're at it you could demand producers make more musicals. To be sure, cast albums are among the finest the biz ever made. But they're in the same submerging boat as classical music (into which they've been shoehorned by record execs), and just as nobody's written a decent symphony for a while, when was the last time people hummed a Broadway tune? (KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN'S IMMORTAL MASTERWORK excepted.) Admit it: few recent musicals are worth recording, and theater is a minority taste. That said the biz must keep the golden oldies in print. There's an obligation worth pressing these tone-deaf impresarios on.

Posted 9:05 AM by Gene

PC, the governing philosophy of NEWS HACKS, overwhelms another neighborhood with PEACE, JOY and HAPPINESS.

Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

2,830 brave defenders of TRUTH, JUSTICE, and the AMERICAN WAY defend the right to use "someone a news hack cites when he wishes to express an opinion"....I mean SOURCES!!!!!

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION:

WE WANT KERRY!!!!! WE WANT KERRY!!!!!

Little Howie the Hair Shirt wants him too!

Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

CLE-VER, LENNY: THIS is how we can get Kitty Kelley into our OH SO ETHICAL PAPER -- by reporting it through HOWIE THE HAIR SHIRT. CLEEEEEEEEEE-VER!!!!!

There will be a special place in HEAVEN for you among ST. WARREN'S CHERUBIM. (Pffh-hh-hh!)

Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

When not campaigning for a man destined to be one of the greatest presidents ever -- aren't his initials JFK?!?!? -- CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES goose ANOTHER publicity stunt (though the source IS reputable, so maybe for once the STOOGES are telling the TRUTH, pffh-hh-hh).

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

Our friends the child killers have struck again, and now maybe many religious and political leaders can smile, again.

After all, they didn't strike children this time.

Posted 6:00 PM by Gene

Here is one time I will NOT make fun of PRNewswire: John Wayne's estate has finally agreed to the video release of a number of his movies from the 1950s, most notably the great thriller The High and the Mighty. I saw that film decades ago on television and it still lingers in my memory. Scuttlebutt around the Web has it the original negatives were water-damaged in the early 90s, but finally, here it is, and I cannot wait for it -- especially as it will be in surround sound, and as I'm organizing my own home theater system (about the wiring of which more later).

Posted 5:46 PM by Gene

More of the age's SUPERGENIUS:

Queen Musical, We Will Rock You, Opens Sept. 8 at Paris Las Vegas

It gets better:

Crowds have cheered the London production on the West End since its opening in May 2002. The plot — devised by writer Ben Elton (The Beautiful Game) — involves a future world where music is banned.

GOOD IDEA!

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

Richard Parsons 1st Earl of Rosse

January 1702 - June 26, 1741

All official records of the Grand Lodge of Ireland prior to 1760, and all minute books prior to 1780, have been lost,1 so while Rosse is the first recorded Grand Master of Ireland, whether he was the first is a matter of conjecture.2 The belief that he was Grand Master in 1725 and again in 1730 is reliant on newspaper accounts of the day.

Little is known of the life of Richard Parsons, and much of that is hearsay.3 It is telling that a two-and-a-half page biography in the History of the Grand Lodge of Ireland contains only several lines on his birth, death, education and marriage—the balance taken up with notes on his family.4

Variously described as either a profligate, gamester and rioter, or as a man of "humour and frolic",5 Parsons' name is closely identified with the Dublin Hell-Fire Club.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

The DREAM of Norman "Before Swine" Pearlstine:

Some weeks People, Star, Us and In Touch can as a group sell 5 million copies on the newsstand in the US "and all of them can have Britney Spears on the cover", he says. "No matter how much celebrity news we crank out for our readers it seems as though the demand exceeds it."

Better watch out, KING RICHARD -- he wants YOUR JOB!!!!!

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

Vir-GIN-ia's at it again:

Hospitals Don't Have to Be Ugly



After a few years of indifferent cleaning ladies, mismatched lighting and pilfered pillows, this imaginary waiting room would look just as inviting as all the rest.

And aren't we forgetting something, Vir-GIN-ia -- the GLIBERTARIAN'S FAVORITE....



PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

I've figured it out: lamenting college drinking is like complaining that summer is hot and winter is cold. Social "science" is often like that, and its flatfooted social engineering is a big reason it's a joke outside the luxury news suites.

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

Bryant accuser physically ill before trial

The whole long anti-climax almost made the public physically ill.

Posted 3:40 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: PINCH was on the phone SCREAMING to Boston, "We've GOT to GET the MAN!! WE'VE GOT TO GET THE MAN!!!!!"

P. S. OUR FIRST AMENDMENT DEFENDERS AT WORK:

...[W]ould not say how much of the story came from more recent information....declining to elaborate further on how the story came about....I just can't go there....would not comment on whether further stories on this subject are in the works....Editor Martin Baron also declined to comment....

What is this? A newspaper or a hit squad? We can guess.

Posted 2:25 PM by Gene

When not campaigning for DIPPITY-DO!!!!!, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES spend whole press releases debating the meaning of the word "LEGEND."

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

Something tells me if this late, great ARTISTE had TAGGED the TRIB Building...oh, never mind.

BONUS POINTS:

There were signs of change, though. His tagging was becoming more political, especially after the outbreak of the war in Iraq. He began to write President Bush's name backward on walls throughout the city.

I understand perfectly what STERNO means when he speaks of "newsprint acting uppity."

Posted 10:13 AM by Gene

MR. MARK is PASSING on KITTY'S BOOK?!?!?

He's using -- EDITORIAL JUDGMENT?!?!?!?!?

Things like this will happen when your chief source is DUBYA'S EX-SISTER-IN-LAW.

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

Lobbyists follow money down the path of least resistance.

And Christopher Shays is MAD!!!!! (Pffh-hh-hh!)

Posted 6:27 AM by Gene

France, Russia and China supplied Saddam Hussein with missiles, arms, defense technology and spare parts before — and after — the start of the Iraq war, an explosive new book claims.

Quelle surprise, ho-hum.

CAVEAT: the author is BILL GERTZ!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:20 AM by Gene

Cheney: Kerry win risks terror attack

This may be true, but is it wise to hand talking points over to NEWS H -- DIPPITY-DO!!!!!?

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

"Family-friendly" turns up 2,020,000 HITS on GOOGLE -- WITH QUOTATION MARKS -- so you know how meaningless THAT term is.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

There can be no "moderate response" to people who take pictures of their own atrocity.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

This story doesn't help my mood either. That it's the usual social-science pablum does not necessarily void its findings, because show-biz has become such a negative force, and with ADVERTISERS financing it, it is the stainless steel fist in a titanium glove.

KAKI probably didn't know about the story, and I'm sure being a good Dilbertette she doesn't even care.

Posted 4:42 PM by Gene

THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS TOPS ITSELF! Not only does it expose its Family-Friendly Programming Initiative as a total FRAUD -- it DOESN'T EVEN CARE! Given KAKI's clodhopping Dilbertizing we can be sure these imbeciles are more concerned about offending their Hollywood buddies than their viewers. I'll say it again: advertisers will sponsor ANYTHING; they'll sponsor anything primarily so they can play KING OF THE HILL in the office; and they'll sponsor anything because they know done the right way it's POLITICALLY CORRECT, and by PC are ye SAVED. I HAVE HAD IT FINANCING JUNK TELEVISION THAT OFFENDS MY SENSIBILITIES WITH MY MONEY!!!!!

P. S. How would I feel if loony leftists wanted to complain to FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News's advertisers? I wouldn't mind. Besides, FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News is objectionable for reasons having nothing to do with politics.

(Sorry that AdAge now requires registration; it isn't worth it.)

Posted 1:31 PM by Gene

GREAT NEWS FOR NEWS HACKS!

THIRTEEN U.S. TROOPS KILLED IN LATEST IRAQ FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE WANT KERRY!!!!! WE WANT KERRY!!!!!

Posted 1:16 PM by Gene

No second coming for P. R. MEL!

Now if he could only make a movie about the Holocaust....

Posted 11:15 AM by Gene

Trees in Amazon Get Nasty
Decomposing vegetation caused by a dam in Brazil has resulted in the emission of millions of tons of greenhouse gases.

Wait a second! I thought only mean ole nasty CARS did that!

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

MR. NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE FOR SENATE!!!!!!!!!!

He's the man the people choose,
Hates the Irish and the Jews and the blacks and the Italians and the Poles and the Germans and the Greeks and the....

As an INDEPENDENT! Pffh-hh-hh!!!!!

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

Surgery Means a Detour From the Campaign Trail

Shucks, we were hoping Bill would bounce out of bed tomorrow and do some speechifying!

Anyone for faith healers?

P. S. And of course the REPUBLICANS brought it on!!!!!

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

Kerry enlists sharp tongues to attack Bush

TRANSLATION: Paul Begala goes WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

Hmmm, we thought ol' DIP! wanted to pull our soldiers out of Iraq RIGHT AWAY -- at least as soon as the EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL Republicans in CONGRESS would let him. Now he's saying FOUR YEARS. Next thing you know he'll say they can stay there FOREVER (at least if it'll win him the election.)

Sing along with me: Nixon's the one...NIXON'S THE ONE!

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

Hmmm, this is interesting:

Medical records show New York-Presbyterian had a death rate of 3.93 percent for coronary bypass operations performed in 2001 -- higher than the 2.18 percent overall rate for the 35 hospitals in the state that perform them.

However, U.S. News & World Report magazine listed New York-Presbyterian as the best hospital in New York for heart care and seventh best nationwide.

Who's at fault, the hospital -- or U. S. NEWS?

(Glad the surgery went well, by the way.)

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

Perhaps we're making progress: When another excretion from the film biz (this one at a FES-ti-val) poses "no easy answers" on the matter of abortion, we must count that an improvement over the idea it's a gift of God.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

ALL HAIL THE KING! ALL HAIL KING ROBERT!

The only good thing about this as that maybe ESPNCorp will finally stop boasting it's THE WORLD'S LEADING PRODUCER OF FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

Think we can use stories like this as TOOLS in the CAMPAIGN?

NEWS HACKS are going to try.

Posted 7:41 PM by Gene

Sex crimes may be starting younger

Schools report 'fairly graphic' acts in kindergarten

Nothing the V-CHIP can't cure.

SAMMY GLICKMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 7:35 PM by Gene

Is it me or are even fewer people paying attention to the U. S. Open than usual?

This will happen when the mouths aren't bigger than the racket heads.

Posted 7:17 PM by Gene

"OF COURSE I PITIED THE CHILDREN, I SWEAR TO ALLAH! I HAVE CHILDREN MYSELF!! I DIDN'T SHOOT!!! I SWEAR TO ALLAH!!!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!! I SWEAR TO ALLAH, I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!"

SHUT UP and go to HELL. You and your brethren are beneath MAGGOTS.

Posted 3:32 PM by Gene

And in MORE PINCH-made culture news, ugly new buildings are sprouting in Manhattan -- and guess what? They're GREAT -- because they're RADICAL!!!!!

Yes men indeed.

Posted 3:18 PM by Gene

Yes Men is, shall we say, an ironic title for something that wins THE PAPER OF RECORD'S glowing endorsement.

Posted 3:18 PM by Gene

Maybe if college weren't a parent-financed Club Med no one would worry about the "Freshman 15" (although you'd think they'd burn it off with all the sex and partying).

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

BRINKLEY: NAVY PROBE COULD DOOM KERRY CAMPAIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Possibly, although I'd doubt it, NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!; people could rationalize it as OUR Kitty Kelley vs. THEIR Kitty Kelley. Talk about a plague o' both your houses!

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

THE ULTIMATE GIRLIE-MAN throws a TANTRUM over the people calumniating a FELLOW GIRLIE-MAN.

Do women have fewer strokes?

GLIBERAL must be praying -- I forgot; news hacks ARE God, so make that DEMANDING -- his fellow hack Kitty Kelley turns the trick; GIRLIE-MAN sure ain't.

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

Johnny Depp Says He Actually Enjoys Aging

He'd better, cause he's not getting any younger.

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Speaking of marketing, OMERTA lets his anger take the day off as he plumbs The Lighter Side of News with this press release:

NASCAR Revs Up Its Marketing Engine

Isn't that like saying we need more political ads?

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL DUBYA HAS OPENED UP A DOUBLE-DIGIT LEAD IN THE POLLS! WHAT SHALL WE DO?

I know, SuperMark: Let's change the subject and RUN ANOTHER SELF-SERVING SERVICE FEATURE!

Odd that America's Premier Marketing Magazine should warn of the dangers of SPENDING!

P. S.:

Learning how to overcome challenges is essential to becoming a successful adult. Whether it's having to earn money to buy Stila cosmetics in this season's palette or adding more hours in the library to pull up a grade, kids need to have parents who are on the sideline cheering them on but not caving in.

How many times have the news dishrags run well-meaning blah like this?