THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Monday, January 07, 2008
Source: Roger Clemens' private eyes asked Brian McNamee to recant
Well, he wanted to maintain his rep.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
The "psuedoconservative" proves a pseudocolumnist.
You win, Brooksy. You too, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!" Medved.
You win, Brooksy. You too, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!" Medved.
SUMNER has fired His feisty anchorface, which should definitively prove bad publicity can only go so far.
(Via ASSPress)
(Via ASSPress)
And another company spends "multi-millions" to look dorky. What was wrong with the old logo? At least it had dignity.
Meantime Lord Springer has gotten an admiring ooh and aah out of the Neuharthians by selling this multi-thousand-dollar 11-inch set. These PR extravaganzas are nothing if not about extremes, though we'd guess the Lord will have a better shot with first adopters than the sumo wrestlers. Who wants a sumo wrestler in his house?
Still more from GeekFest '08:
Matsushita unveils 150-inch plasma TV
The picture says it all -- a TV set can be TOO BIG.
It will become available in 2009 at an undisclosed price, mainly for use as billboards.
NUF SAID.
Matsushita unveils 150-inch plasma TV
The picture says it all -- a TV set can be TOO BIG.
It will become available in 2009 at an undisclosed price, mainly for use as billboards.
NUF SAID.
SURVEY SAID: 9/11 increased the chances of heart disease because everybody had to be GLUED to the set and caught PTSS -- but then come these remarkable grafs (albeit numbers 8 and 9):
Steven Woloshin, a physician at the VA Medical Center in White River Junction, Vt., said the findings were problematic because people who report their own medical problems may exaggerate them. He said the study's participants are more likely to develop heart problems as they age.
"I don't think they've proven anything," he said. "There are millions of things that cause heart problems."
Would this sort of second opinion have run in such a story, say, three years ago? Count this as progress: not every news story has to be one-sided.
Steven Woloshin, a physician at the VA Medical Center in White River Junction, Vt., said the findings were problematic because people who report their own medical problems may exaggerate them. He said the study's participants are more likely to develop heart problems as they age.
"I don't think they've proven anything," he said. "There are millions of things that cause heart problems."
Would this sort of second opinion have run in such a story, say, three years ago? Count this as progress: not every news story has to be one-sided.
Paulson: No Easy Fix to Housing Woes
I guess this means giving the Richie Riches another big tax break may not work.
I guess this means giving the Richie Riches another big tax break may not work.
TRANSLATION: Starbucks is now where Mickey D was five years ago. Which means, alas, that this twee coffee seller's best days are not behind it -- nor are the Mick's worst.
AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- Iran's Foreign Ministry says weekend incident between Iranian boats and U.S. Navy ships in Gulf was "something normal" and was resolved.
TRANSLATION: Appeasement DOES work!!!!!
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- Iran's Foreign Ministry says weekend incident between Iranian boats and U.S. Navy ships in Gulf was "something normal" and was resolved.
TRANSLATION: Appeasement DOES work!!!!!
Also at GeekFest '08 -- a $1,200 REMOTE!!!!!
The NevoS70 has a completely customizable, 3.5-inch color touch-screen and hard-button interface. It provides access to the world’s largest infrared (IR) database; built-in Z-wave and Wi-Fi radio transmissions for non-line-of-sight control; a browser for out-of-the-box control of Internet-protocol devices via Web servers, such as cameras; and digital-media control of music, pictures and video.
WOW!!!! put that on our Christmas list next to the CASIO CAMERA!!!!!
The NevoS70 has a completely customizable, 3.5-inch color touch-screen and hard-button interface. It provides access to the world’s largest infrared (IR) database; built-in Z-wave and Wi-Fi radio transmissions for non-line-of-sight control; a browser for out-of-the-box control of Internet-protocol devices via Web servers, such as cameras; and digital-media control of music, pictures and video.
WOW!!!! put that on our Christmas list next to the CASIO CAMERA!!!!!
Iranian boats "provoke" U.S. Navy ships in Hormuz: CNN
This means nothing except it provides the Wall Street Casino an excuse to go bananas.
Besides, aren't we friends with them now?
This means nothing except it provides the Wall Street Casino an excuse to go bananas.
Besides, aren't we friends with them now?
Global Warming Hits China
Lakes, rivers and whole regions are drying up dangerously fast. And then there's the floods.
But because it's a developing country and proud authoritarian state it's exempt from any need to fix itself. Right, League of Nations?
Lakes, rivers and whole regions are drying up dangerously fast. And then there's the floods.
But because it's a developing country and proud authoritarian state it's exempt from any need to fix itself. Right, League of Nations?
If Roger Clemens must sue for defamation he could at least pay off his own expenses. Why not call up Slime and have Him make it into a reality show -- with the public voting to see who's telling the truth? Heck making idiotic sums from Seligism is more an American pastime than Seligism.
This and similar plugs for GeekFest '08 are plastering themselves all over the Web:
G.M. to Show a Vehicle That Drives by Itself
Yeah -- just like in 1997.
The automaker expects driverless vehicle technology to be ready for testing by 2015 and in vehicles that it sells by 2018, a G.M. spokesman, Scott Fosgard, said on Sunday.
Add twenty years to that and you're probably closer.
G.M. to Show a Vehicle That Drives by Itself
Yeah -- just like in 1997.
The automaker expects driverless vehicle technology to be ready for testing by 2015 and in vehicles that it sells by 2018, a G.M. spokesman, Scott Fosgard, said on Sunday.
Add twenty years to that and you're probably closer.
Bill Gates Bids CES Farewell
The Microsoft chairman promotes interactivity and even tries rapping in a music video for his final Consumer Electronics Show keynote
Bug, can't you get lost like any other monopolist?
Besides, you're in SHOW-BIZ now; you should know [C]RAP sales are DOWN.
P. S.
The show, which started in 1967, was once a springboard for the industry’s biggest successes, like the VCR in 1970, the compact disc player in 1981 and the DVD in 1996.
Now, electronics makers and industry analysts say the show has become so loud, sprawling and preoccupied with technical esoterica that for many companies, it is as much a place to get lost as to get discovered.
As I said....
(Via Slashdot)
The Microsoft chairman promotes interactivity and even tries rapping in a music video for his final Consumer Electronics Show keynote
Bug, can't you get lost like any other monopolist?
Besides, you're in SHOW-BIZ now; you should know [C]RAP sales are DOWN.
P. S.
The show, which started in 1967, was once a springboard for the industry’s biggest successes, like the VCR in 1970, the compact disc player in 1981 and the DVD in 1996.
Now, electronics makers and industry analysts say the show has become so loud, sprawling and preoccupied with technical esoterica that for many companies, it is as much a place to get lost as to get discovered.
As I said....
(Via Slashdot)
Sunday, January 06, 2008
More from GeekFest '08:
Casio will put on sale in March a digital still camera capable of shooting up to 60 full-resolution images in one second, and video at more than 1000 per second to realize a super slow-motion effect, it is expected to announce Sunday at the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.
The high-speed shooting and super slow-motion features are a first in consumer cameras, being typically found on much more expensive and dedicated professional models.
Better rush out! I need to shoot a thousand snapshots in a second NOW!
And it'll only be $1,000!
Casio will put on sale in March a digital still camera capable of shooting up to 60 full-resolution images in one second, and video at more than 1000 per second to realize a super slow-motion effect, it is expected to announce Sunday at the International Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.
The high-speed shooting and super slow-motion features are a first in consumer cameras, being typically found on much more expensive and dedicated professional models.
Better rush out! I need to shoot a thousand snapshots in a second NOW!
And it'll only be $1,000!
After last night's debate, New York Times columnist David Brooks was chatting with a group of people. One of them said: "I hear you hired that conservative Bill Kristol." David Brooks responded: "More like a pseudoconservative."
FOOD FIGHT!
FOOD FIGHT!
Tame Finish to Historical Association's Annual Conference
First the MLA, now this -- did Dubya put something in their juice?
First the MLA, now this -- did Dubya put something in their juice?
At GeekFest '08:
Pioneer Corp., which is sticking to making plasma flat-panel TVs as other manufacturers are switching to LCD TVs, announced Sunday it will be demonstrating a prototype set that emits no light in black areas of the picture, improving contrast and image quality.
This is a Slashdot post but sure!
Pioneer Corp., which is sticking to making plasma flat-panel TVs as other manufacturers are switching to LCD TVs, announced Sunday it will be demonstrating a prototype set that emits no light in black areas of the picture, improving contrast and image quality.
This is a Slashdot post but sure!
Mark and his NRO brother John guffaw over "America's first Jewish, first gay and first foreign-born president all rolled into one", but I'd say this whole motley lot orates in vaporous platitudes. Decline and fall, here we come!
What movie could you watch over and over again?
"The Patriot" with Mel Gibson. [This an adviser to Speaker Babs.]
Which living person do you most admire?
I am a big fan of Billy Graham. He has been so consistent over the years.... [This a (the?) "policy director for the Senate Republican Steering Committee".]
Which living person do you most admire and why?
Bill Gates, because he is a visionary and has a practical understanding of what could be in the future. [This a "non-profit grant writer."]
What will your campaign slogan be?
"Master Your Fate in '28!" [This a professor at Howard.]
Yep, definitely.
What movie could you watch over and over again?
"The Patriot" with Mel Gibson. [This an adviser to Speaker Babs.]
Which living person do you most admire?
I am a big fan of Billy Graham. He has been so consistent over the years.... [This a (the?) "policy director for the Senate Republican Steering Committee".]
Which living person do you most admire and why?
Bill Gates, because he is a visionary and has a practical understanding of what could be in the future. [This a "non-profit grant writer."]
What will your campaign slogan be?
"Master Your Fate in '28!" [This a professor at Howard.]
Yep, definitely.
Fred Silverman Jr. revives Knight Rider!
AND Fred's good at "finding shows that yield strong brand-integration opportunities", meaning we'd guess he can air sixty-minute commercials, meaning he'll really draw an audience even with the Fantasy and Profanity League on strike. Good luck!
AND Fred's good at "finding shows that yield strong brand-integration opportunities", meaning we'd guess he can air sixty-minute commercials, meaning he'll really draw an audience even with the Fantasy and Profanity League on strike. Good luck!
Massive failure of journalists allowed steroid culture to fester
C'mon guy, must you tell us again you folks know what you're doing?
C'mon guy, must you tell us again you folks know what you're doing?
America's arm-waving enthusiasts upturn their noses and breathe deeply of genius -- and yet:
Only 41 members cast ballots at the group's meeting Saturday in New York City, the society said in a news release.
We should remember, however, it only takes one person to imitate a skunk.
The group's opinions often diverge from those of Oscar voters.
And their readers, and the movie S&M phreaks, but after all, nonconformity is a VIR-TUE.
Only 41 members cast ballots at the group's meeting Saturday in New York City, the society said in a news release.
We should remember, however, it only takes one person to imitate a skunk.
The group's opinions often diverge from those of Oscar voters.
And their readers, and the movie S&M phreaks, but after all, nonconformity is a VIR-TUE.
Forgotten George reminds us who will be in the White House next year:
IMPEACH GEORGE W. BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Home-page link with overemphasis added]
1. We have twelve months to do it. Let's rush it through. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT! 2. Are you still gloating about your landslide?
IMPEACH GEORGE W. BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Home-page link with overemphasis added]
1. We have twelve months to do it. Let's rush it through. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT! 2. Are you still gloating about your landslide?
Saturday, January 05, 2008
An Asian-born bishop declares the hard-core Muslims have set up "no-go zones" in merrie olde Englande, which gets one of the usual gang of microphone hoarders screaming "EXTREME INTOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", which means there are no-go zones in merrie olde Englande, and the European caliphate inches a little closer.
To help prevent this British Muslim women are being given "assertiveness courses", which seems a dubious cause given the special place women have in Islam. Natch, the microphone hoarders are screaming here too.
(Telegraph story via ASSPress)
To help prevent this British Muslim women are being given "assertiveness courses", which seems a dubious cause given the special place women have in Islam. Natch, the microphone hoarders are screaming here too.
(Telegraph story via ASSPress)
In SIX PAGES Zeitgeist tells us nothing but how JFK is such a good guy. We don't expect newsrags to tell us anything -- and especially with stories that claim THINKER ALTER and Eleh-NOWAH among the contributors, who've served for too many Democratic campaigns with Zeitgeist, and too many campaigns period.
Now that JFK has won the election, anyone for his cabinet? Can't be Hill's or Slickster's gang; but we'd suspect he'd choose a lot of people who are unknown right now, but whose bonafides tend toward the squooshy end of the left-wing political spectrum. One thing's clear: if JFK goes hard left, he has a short honeymoon -- regardless of how few Republican Congresspoops he faces.
And who'll be his veep? It has to be someone warm and fuzzy from the South, but not too warm and fuzzy. Anyone for Lenny's favorite Mr. Webb?
Or how about Oprah?
Well we already have an answer on his cabinet, from the Republican side: Dick Lugar, Hole-in-the-Bagel -- and AHNULT. When the going gets tough, these guys will GET GOING.
And who'll be his veep? It has to be someone warm and fuzzy from the South, but not too warm and fuzzy. Anyone for Lenny's favorite Mr. Webb?
Or how about Oprah?
Well we already have an answer on his cabinet, from the Republican side: Dick Lugar, Hole-in-the-Bagel -- and AHNULT. When the going gets tough, these guys will GET GOING.
Well, here's your future, Eddie -- a future where our cities are dominated by vast non-profits like KOLLEDGES, which, if they choose to improve the surrounding communities with their tuition-supported largesse, do so haltingly...or maybe not at all.
“There are no corporate citizens left in New Haven except Yale,” Mr. Levin, the university president, said.
And of how many other towns can we say "ditto"?
“There are no corporate citizens left in New Haven except Yale,” Mr. Levin, the university president, said.
And of how many other towns can we say "ditto"?
An epitaph for an era:
Her steamy Sixties hit Je t'aime made Jane Birkin a sex icon for a whole generation, but now the British-born actress has admitted that she never liked the song.
In an unusually candid interview the 61-year-old has revealed that she felt used by her then husband, Serge Gainsbourg, the film director and artist who wrote the song for her - and that she would have far preferred a career as a nurse....
And for all her status as a sex goddess, the actress's own experience of the sexual revolution was far from liberating.
While [her first husband John] Barry worked in America, the pregnant Ms Birkin was left in Paris, where student protesters were rocking the city. "I waited for him with my huge stomach. That was my sexual revolution," she said.
Her steamy Sixties hit Je t'aime made Jane Birkin a sex icon for a whole generation, but now the British-born actress has admitted that she never liked the song.
In an unusually candid interview the 61-year-old has revealed that she felt used by her then husband, Serge Gainsbourg, the film director and artist who wrote the song for her - and that she would have far preferred a career as a nurse....
And for all her status as a sex goddess, the actress's own experience of the sexual revolution was far from liberating.
While [her first husband John] Barry worked in America, the pregnant Ms Birkin was left in Paris, where student protesters were rocking the city. "I waited for him with my huge stomach. That was my sexual revolution," she said.
Obama Cheered, Clinton Booed at Forum
Hillary Clinton looked around the gym at Merrimack High School in Penacook, N.H., this morning, and didn't like what she saw -- empty chairs, empty bleachers. She urged her aides to go get some of the scores of people waiting in the hallways and outside on the sidewalk.
Is this campaign over already?
Hillary Clinton looked around the gym at Merrimack High School in Penacook, N.H., this morning, and didn't like what she saw -- empty chairs, empty bleachers. She urged her aides to go get some of the scores of people waiting in the hallways and outside on the sidewalk.
Is this campaign over already?
"He was just messing around is what we're being told," he said.
Alas, the perfect eulogy for any [C]RAPPER.
Alas, the perfect eulogy for any [C]RAPPER.
Ozzy auditions as CNN announcer 
Yep, I think it stopped being about the news sometime before Mouth of the South founded it.
Yep, I think it stopped being about the news sometime before Mouth of the South founded it.
Elsewhere in The Biz That Gives Us the Biz -- and we must do something about our Variety fixation -- two Brian Lowrys and a Pamela (that's how it's bylined) do a mighty thinker pose wondering why there's such a mammoth split at the Os-CARs® between the WIDE-EYED ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASTS' faves and the hits. Of course in stories like this the answer must be something as inoffensive and as diminutive of culpability as possible, so two Brian Lowrys and a Pamela say -- it's the water. It's something about the way the water's treated in LALA. That or it's the marketing. Yes! Marketing! Or maybe it's the -- well actually they don't say what it is, which should serve them well with Roger Bart's uncle.
Shucks, Three Strikes, er, Fourth and Long, er, "Tom Cruise's" United Artists subsidiary of United Artists is about to reach a deal with the Fantasy and Profanity League, which, at any rate, means a second-place late-night show and a fifth-rate studio down, thousands and thousands to go.
If this article may be believed the housing BOOM has played tricks on the Overaged Adolescent's Gadget Show; no must-have gadgets this year. But heck there's always next year, and more ways first-adopters can waste their millions, and yield the floor to the rest of us.
Wilford Brimley [Ramesh Ponnuru]
Did you know that he's supporting McCain?
01/04 09:03 PM
Did you know he's still alive?
Did you know that he's supporting McCain?
01/04 09:03 PM
Did you know he's still alive?
Speaking of:
"Senator Clinton needs to make this campaign about her vision, her plans and her strengths," says Brazile.
The candidate's husband, meanwhile, tends to ramble on about himself.
We KNOW, we KNOW.
"Senator Clinton needs to make this campaign about her vision, her plans and her strengths," says Brazile.
The candidate's husband, meanwhile, tends to ramble on about himself.
We KNOW, we KNOW.
This would be a brilliant idea, Hill: appoint your Slickster to the Nine Fingers. We know you'd want to do it to get him out of your hair -- but honest, don't you think that two-for-one biz may have cost you a few votes the other day?
Aside from that he was impeached, political or no.
Aside from that he was impeached, political or no.
Chicago woman, 114, registers to vote
Given how many others that age can vote in Chicago this is still an achievement.
Given how many others that age can vote in Chicago this is still an achievement.
Friday, January 04, 2008
If the British government can waste billions of pounds on bungled IT projects -- think how much we can waste!
Top of the ministries for wasting public money is the Department for Work and Pensions, which is responsible for squandering more than £1.6bn by abandoning three major schemes — a new benefit card which was based on outdated technology; the upgrade to the CSA's computer which could not handle 1.2m existing claims; and a £140m streamlined benefit payment system that never worked properly.
The Department for Work and Pensions. Figures.
Top of the ministries for wasting public money is the Department for Work and Pensions, which is responsible for squandering more than £1.6bn by abandoning three major schemes — a new benefit card which was based on outdated technology; the upgrade to the CSA's computer which could not handle 1.2m existing claims; and a £140m streamlined benefit payment system that never worked properly.
The Department for Work and Pensions. Figures.
Something news hacks will never tell -- how many voted for OPRAH?
Because we think Jonny Hairshirt a ninny doesn't mean he can't be right. The excitement of this fifty-state Triple Crown of politics seems to have obscured a few things, like where the candidates stand on some issues. Agree or disagree with the Center for Military Readiness, we may have to confront the idea of our armed forces as one big PC social-services organization if a Democrat wins, although most likely the hacks will do their best to obscure it as they help the winner through with his "mandate".
It's a little late, but here's an AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says that while there is some concern about slowing economic growth "financial markets are strong and solid."
Yep, he's talking with GEKKO.
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says that while there is some concern about slowing economic growth "financial markets are strong and solid."
Yep, he's talking with GEKKO.
Passenger jets get anti-missile devices
Oh well, I guess it had to come to this, didn't it.
This will NOT stop the frisking of babies and grandmas. If anything if I know Der Homeland it will cause it to be MORE incompet -- vigilant.
Oh well, I guess it had to come to this, didn't it.
This will NOT stop the frisking of babies and grandmas. If anything if I know Der Homeland it will cause it to be MORE incompet -- vigilant.
Anonymous and the TWXSTERS BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP:
Obama's Historic Victory
It's just one win, but Joe Klein says January 3rd, 2008 may mark the end of the politics of race — and baby boomers [Home-page tease]
Baby boomer is an American-English term to describe a person born between 1946 and 1964[1] (also known as the "Ungrateful Generation" [2] [3]).
Barack Obama — Born: August 4, 1961 (1961-08-04) (age 45) Honolulu, Hawaii [SIC]
Obama's Historic Victory
It's just one win, but Joe Klein says January 3rd, 2008 may mark the end of the politics of race — and baby boomers [Home-page tease]
Baby boomer is an American-English term to describe a person born between 1946 and 1964[1] (also known as the "Ungrateful Generation" [2] [3]).
Barack Obama — Born: August 4, 1961 (1961-08-04) (age 45) Honolulu, Hawaii [SIC]
Okay, okay, he won, he won, this is historic, it will change the face of the universe forever and ever, BUT:
Obama's victory was much narrower in the race for delegates. The AP analysis estimated Obama would win 16 delegates, compared to 15 for Clinton and 14 for Edwards. Clinton will win more delegates than Edwards, despite getting fewer votes, because of Iowa's complicated caucus system.
In the overall race for the nomination, Clinton leads with 175 delegates, including superdelegates, followed by Obama with 75 and Edwards with 46. [TWENTIETH AND TWENTY-FIRST GRAFS FROM THE ASSPRESS]
Could we wait a little bit to declare a winner? Of course not. We're the perennial winners.
Obama's victory was much narrower in the race for delegates. The AP analysis estimated Obama would win 16 delegates, compared to 15 for Clinton and 14 for Edwards. Clinton will win more delegates than Edwards, despite getting fewer votes, because of Iowa's complicated caucus system.
In the overall race for the nomination, Clinton leads with 175 delegates, including superdelegates, followed by Obama with 75 and Edwards with 46. [TWENTIETH AND TWENTY-FIRST GRAFS FROM THE ASSPRESS]
Could we wait a little bit to declare a winner? Of course not. We're the perennial winners.
As he prepares to become the best-paid ex-prez in history, Dubya's considering a "stimulus package." And how much of the store can we give away here, Dubya? Is GEKKO KUDLOW consulting you?
Although with the unemployment rate up so are the chances JFK LINCOLN!!!!! will win the White House.
Although with the unemployment rate up so are the chances JFK LINCOLN!!!!! will win the White House.
ROOTKIT MUSIC CO.'S ABANDONING DRM!
The recorded...SOUND biz is finally waving the white flag to its customers. We can only hope this means what it could mean -- no more critical mass for JUNK.
The recorded...SOUND biz is finally waving the white flag to its customers. We can only hope this means what it could mean -- no more critical mass for JUNK.
Paramount Pete's PRO-BIZ RAG (so THE IMMORTAL NIKKI always reminds us) senses doubt among the members of the Fantasy and Profanity League.
That's okay -- KEEP STRIKING! Strike until there are no more spoils left to divvy!
That's okay -- KEEP STRIKING! Strike until there are no more spoils left to divvy!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
The Iowans were impressed with Hucklechuckle's picket-line crossing! Hucklechuckle's the nominee!!!!!
Er, not yet....
(So sez CNN, anyway.)
And we have a three -- er, person race on the other side -- and Rudy can go back to the Big Apple! He's finished!!!!!
Will anyone believe the monumental claptrap after any more than anyone's believed the monumental claptrap before?
Er, not yet....
(So sez CNN, anyway.)
And we have a three -- er, person race on the other side -- and Rudy can go back to the Big Apple! He's finished!!!!!
Will anyone believe the monumental claptrap after any more than anyone's believed the monumental claptrap before?
Long, costly campaigning is at end; now it's up to Iowans
Wrong: the length and the cost have just begun.
So (if we can believe this) have the lies.
Wrong: the length and the cost have just begun.
So (if we can believe this) have the lies.
News from the Anal Retentives' Toy Fest:
At the show, the EPA will be announcing a campaign to provide consumers with more places to turn in cell phones for recycling, in partnership with manufacturers and retailers. The agency puts the number of unused cell phones lingering in drawers at 100 million.
Good luck!
At the show, the EPA will be announcing a campaign to provide consumers with more places to turn in cell phones for recycling, in partnership with manufacturers and retailers. The agency puts the number of unused cell phones lingering in drawers at 100 million.
Good luck!
Musharraf Says Bhutto Took Excessive Risks
Oh, so that's why you were in such a hurry cleaning the crime scene.
Oh, so that's why you were in such a hurry cleaning the crime scene.
D-U-M-M Hed of the Week:
Ouch! Cervical Cancer Shots Painful
We'd wager cervical cancer can be pretty painful too.
Ouch! Cervical Cancer Shots Painful
We'd wager cervical cancer can be pretty painful too.
Columnist Barry says he'll be more productive in 2008
TRANSLATION: Whatever happened to Daa-aave Barry?
TRANSLATION: Whatever happened to Daa-aave Barry?
Editorials say Iowa too unrepresentative
Yep, it's official -- this is definitely CW.
We know how that flatulent fool Kaus feels when he's busy screaming that something's CW, only to scream again when the anti-CW becomes CW -- but dammit, people like Jeff Greenfield don't think, they preen -- and he's quoted first.
Yep, it's official -- this is definitely CW.
We know how that flatulent fool Kaus feels when he's busy screaming that something's CW, only to scream again when the anti-CW becomes CW -- but dammit, people like Jeff Greenfield don't think, they preen -- and he's quoted first.
The Weather Channel's up for sale!
With any luck the successful bidder can pass the costs onto US!
Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Via MediaBistro)
With any luck the successful bidder can pass the costs onto US!
Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Via MediaBistro)
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
"Every headline these days is so hard and sad," says Gabler.
So why, factotum of SLIME, do you our superiors always have to go hard and angry and simple-minded on us with TENTPOLES like ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?!?!?
Why in God's name can't THIS industry have a twenty-percent slump?
So why, factotum of SLIME, do you our superiors always have to go hard and angry and simple-minded on us with TENTPOLES like ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?!?!?
Why in God's name can't THIS industry have a twenty-percent slump?
Huck MAY! MAY NOT! cross a picket line!
He can always boast in his ads.
GOP hopeful Huckabee appeared confused over which of the two late-night hosts had reached a separate deal with the union representing striking TV and movie writers.
Huckabee said he supports the writers and did not think he would be crossing a picket line, because he believed the writers had made an agreement to allow late-night shows on the air. That's not the case with Leno, and pickets outside Leno's Burbank, Calif., studio targeted Huckabee.
"Huckabee is a scab," read one picket sign.
As I said....
This man wants to be president?!?!?
P. S. at 9:33 p.m. He crossed after all!
"'Hmmm' and 'Oh.'" Our new Lincoln speaks!
Ms. TRAVERS!!!!! Think we can spare Huck some praise?
He can always boast in his ads.
GOP hopeful Huckabee appeared confused over which of the two late-night hosts had reached a separate deal with the union representing striking TV and movie writers.
Huckabee said he supports the writers and did not think he would be crossing a picket line, because he believed the writers had made an agreement to allow late-night shows on the air. That's not the case with Leno, and pickets outside Leno's Burbank, Calif., studio targeted Huckabee.
"Huckabee is a scab," read one picket sign.
As I said....
This man wants to be president?!?!?
P. S. at 9:33 p.m. He crossed after all!
"'Hmmm' and 'Oh.'" Our new Lincoln speaks!
Ms. TRAVERS!!!!! Think we can spare Huck some praise?
The dirty old man in me confesses he wishes he could see a scene like this in our streets now and then; on the other hand, he would not want to be one of these young -- women the day after, especially with her face...plastered on the Web; nor, he would further say, would he want to be a Briton, however entertaining public near-nudity of young -- women is.
(MS. TRAVERS DID IT!!!!!)
Next on the West End -- and soon to come west to Branson East -- A MEATLOAF MUSICAL!!!!!
Funding and artistic involvement from Sony/BMG, Warner Brothers and Industrial Light and Magic (in their first stage venture) could also be in the works, according to Steinman.
And among them they can't carry a tune -- but LUKE SPIELBERG can sure hum a mean $.
Funding and artistic involvement from Sony/BMG, Warner Brothers and Industrial Light and Magic (in their first stage venture) could also be in the works, according to Steinman.
And among them they can't carry a tune -- but LUKE SPIELBERG can sure hum a mean $.
Mr. Catch-Phrase-in-a-White-Suit is writing a new book -- through a new publisher, for it seems his last book (remember? The one about the horny coed that was supposed to have a larger message? The one that won the Bad Sex in Fiction prize?) lost money, and gadzooks! The prestigious publishing house wanted to offer less of an advance!
I wish I could make that kind of money coining catch phrases.
I wish I could make that kind of money coining catch phrases.
Oops! I see Jeff "Mensa-Man" Greenfield and Jack "McLaughlin Group" Germond say the Iowa caucuses are repugnant. In fact so many people are saying they're repugnant it's starting to ossify into CW. Anyone for defending them?
Gov. Ad-Genius will be crossing a picket line!
Any instant polls on how this will improve his standing?
Any instant polls on how this will improve his standing?
Why am I thinking THE WORLD'S GREATEST COMEDIAN is on the verge of becoming THE WORLD'S MOST OVERRATED DRAMATIC AC-TOR?
Mark my words -- he plays Shylock on Branson East someday, and the WIDE-EYED ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASTS will think they've seen the MESSIAH.
(Via The Big V!)
Mark my words -- he plays Shylock on Branson East someday, and the WIDE-EYED ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASTS will think they've seen the MESSIAH.
(Via The Big V!)
"An absolute disgrace" indeed -- a disgrace that, with its Armageddon-like media firepower and minority-of-a-minority voting, will appoint our next president.
Why we NEED bloggers:
I can't help thinking that Huckabee and his team saw the floating cross ad response and thought, great! How can re replicate this? Huge media pickup, of the ad and of Huckabee's statement about the ad. Ask Huckabee about this on cable, Chris Matthews, and he'll be only too happy to tell you about how weary real Americans are of consultants and their negative ads! How he's turning the other cheek on Romney, so desperate that he needed to rush a few millions more into ads to counter Huckabee's natural swelling popularity! The media can laugh at Huckabee all they want, and feel smug that they can see through such a transparent ploy. But after a day of blanket coverage, I can't help thinking that it just might be Huckabee who has the last laugh.
If so, it was a mighty expensive joke.
Huckabee isn't running the ad, which means he isn't paying for it.
If I could tally all the times SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS and their companions paraded their ignorance....
(First link via MediaBistro)
I can't help thinking that Huckabee and his team saw the floating cross ad response and thought, great! How can re replicate this? Huge media pickup, of the ad and of Huckabee's statement about the ad. Ask Huckabee about this on cable, Chris Matthews, and he'll be only too happy to tell you about how weary real Americans are of consultants and their negative ads! How he's turning the other cheek on Romney, so desperate that he needed to rush a few millions more into ads to counter Huckabee's natural swelling popularity! The media can laugh at Huckabee all they want, and feel smug that they can see through such a transparent ploy. But after a day of blanket coverage, I can't help thinking that it just might be Huckabee who has the last laugh.
If so, it was a mighty expensive joke.
Huckabee isn't running the ad, which means he isn't paying for it.
If I could tally all the times SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS and their companions paraded their ignorance....
(First link via MediaBistro)
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Honorary President Mike needs signatures -- and so....
The mayor’s aides are confident that he can do it, and that he would deploy armies of paid signature-gatherers nationwide if he runs. The foot soldiers are typically paid about $2 for every signature collected, though sometimes higher if their services are in heavy demand.
And with about 650,000 signatures needed nationwide, the bill would come to a minimum of $1.3 million — pocket change for the billionaire mayor.
Which, if we had to guess, He can get someone else to pay for.
The mayor’s aides are confident that he can do it, and that he would deploy armies of paid signature-gatherers nationwide if he runs. The foot soldiers are typically paid about $2 for every signature collected, though sometimes higher if their services are in heavy demand.
And with about 650,000 signatures needed nationwide, the bill would come to a minimum of $1.3 million — pocket change for the billionaire mayor.
Which, if we had to guess, He can get someone else to pay for.
It's time to step up, Fred. Conservatives need a leader about whom we have no major reservations.
It's time to step down, Fred.
It's time to step down, Fred.
Duuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh, like how were we to know it was some poet, man?
And I fear given the free use of the write-by-numbers word "iconic" here that whoever wrote and edited this may not know who the poet was either.
And I fear given the free use of the write-by-numbers word "iconic" here that whoever wrote and edited this may not know who the poet was either.