Posted 9:02 PM by Gene

ANOTHER excruciatingly self-serving mea culpa from EisnerCorp Network News, this concerning Grand Theft Auto. Years ago the hacks would have ended these stories with the usual freedom-of-choice-you-can-always-turn-the-set-off-First-Amendment BS, but the fact that EisnerCorp's hacks have run so many mea culpas shows that gag won't work any more.

The IMBECILES at SEPTA, our local transit authority, stick ads for this game on its buses. It's time they stop.

It may not help the plaintiff's heart-wrenching case that their lawyer is Jack Thompson, the me-me-meing video-game "expert." But I guess everyone's an "expert" these days.

Posted 4:43 PM by Gene

And speaking of pleasant dreams for Saudis, a Czech worker caught the first of the planes careening into the WTC, which makes you wonder why the Osama Channel wasn't on top of that.

Posted 4:41 PM by Gene

Internet use by Arab women low

Now when will some yaya in a Saudi mosque issue a FATWA against Web surfing by women?

Oh by the way Bill, looked up "fatwa" on my MS Bookshelf -- not there! Way to go, BILL!

Posted 3:41 PM by Gene

OUR GOOGLEBLOGGER ERROR MESSAGE OF THE YEAR!!!!!

HTTP Status 500

type Exception report
message
description The server encountered an internal error () that prevented it from fulfilling this request.
exception
org.apache.jasper.JasperException
at org.apache.jasper.servlet.JspServletWrapper.service(JspServletWrapper.java:254)
at org.apache.jasper.servlet.JspServlet.serviceJspFile(JspServlet.java:295)
at org.apache.jasper.servlet.JspServlet.service(JspServlet.java:241)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:853)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.internalDoFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:247)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.doFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:193)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardWrapperValve.invoke(StandardWrapperValve.java:256)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContextValve.invoke(StandardContextValve.java:191)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.authenticator.AuthenticatorBase.invoke(AuthenticatorBase.java:494)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContext.invoke(StandardContext.java:2415)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardHostValve.invoke(StandardHostValve.java:180)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorDispatcherValve.invoke(ErrorDispatcherValve.java:171)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorReportValve.invoke(ErrorReportValve.java:172)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardEngineValve.invoke(StandardEngineValve.java:174)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.coyote.tomcat4.CoyoteAdapter.service(CoyoteAdapter.java:223)
at org.apache.jk.server.JkCoyoteHandler.invoke(JkCoyoteHandler.java:261)
at org.apache.jk.common.HandlerRequest.invoke(HandlerRequest.java:360)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.invoke(ChannelSocket.java:604)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.processConnection(ChannelSocket.java:562)
at org.apache.jk.common.SocketConnection.runIt(ChannelSocket.java:679)
at org.apache.tomcat.util.threads.ThreadPool$ControlRunnable.run(ThreadPool.java:619)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:536)

root cause

java.lang.NullPointerException
at com.pyra.blogger.dbreader.SqlServer.getConnection(SqlServer.java:176)
at com.pyra.blogger.dbreader.SqlServer.getBlogGuts(SqlServer.java:2033)
at com.pyra.blogger.dbreader.SqlServer.getBlogGuts(SqlServer.java:2023)
at com.pyra.blogger.Blog.(Blog.java:225)
at org.apache.jsp.blog_pyra._jspService(blog_pyra.java:358)
at org.apache.jasper.runtime.HttpJspBase.service(HttpJspBase.java:137)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:853)
at org.apache.jasper.servlet.JspServletWrapper.service(JspServletWrapper.java:210)
at org.apache.jasper.servlet.JspServlet.serviceJspFile(JspServlet.java:295)
at org.apache.jasper.servlet.JspServlet.service(JspServlet.java:241)
at javax.servlet.http.HttpServlet.service(HttpServlet.java:853)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.internalDoFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:247)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ApplicationFilterChain.doFilter(ApplicationFilterChain.java:193)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardWrapperValve.invoke(StandardWrapperValve.java:256)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContextValve.invoke(StandardContextValve.java:191)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.authenticator.AuthenticatorBase.invoke(AuthenticatorBase.java:494)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardContext.invoke(StandardContext.java:2415)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardHostValve.invoke(StandardHostValve.java:180)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorDispatcherValve.invoke(ErrorDispatcherValve.java:171)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.valves.ErrorReportValve.invoke(ErrorReportValve.java:172)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:641)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardEngineValve.invoke(StandardEngineValve.java:174)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline$StandardPipelineValveContext.invokeNext(StandardPipeline.java:643)
at org.apache.catalina.core.StandardPipeline.invoke(StandardPipeline.java:480)
at org.apache.catalina.core.ContainerBase.invoke(ContainerBase.java:995)
at org.apache.coyote.tomcat4.CoyoteAdapter.service(CoyoteAdapter.java:223)
at org.apache.jk.server.JkCoyoteHandler.invoke(JkCoyoteHandler.java:261)
at org.apache.jk.common.HandlerRequest.invoke(HandlerRequest.java:360)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.invoke(ChannelSocket.java:604)
at org.apache.jk.common.ChannelSocket.processConnection(ChannelSocket.java:562)
at org.apache.jk.common.SocketConnection.runIt(ChannelSocket.java:679)
at org.apache.tomcat.util.threads.ThreadPool$ControlRunnable.run(ThreadPool.java:619)
at java.lang.Thread.run(Thread.java:536)

Apache Tomcat/4.1.24

I COULDN'T have made this up, you know.

Posted 12:37 PM by Gene

Here our beloved president just made an ass of himself for the NFL, so when is he speaking on Sunday night? At 8:30 -- during EisnerCorp Sports Network's Sunday Night Monday Night Football!

I hope this address to the nation is slightly more dignified than the last one.

Posted 12:14 PM by Gene

A Freudian slip: Some ex-EisnerCorp jerk selling another one of those repulsive pop-culture phenomema most people are sick and tired of from the get-go says it's "lowered the bar" on broadcast standards. Isn't that the wrong phrase, oh former EisnerCorp exec? You're supposed to say "pushed the envelope" (a phrase hijacked from the military to be another show-biz variation of "The public be damned!"). Why, oh wonderful exec, can't you clowns RAISE THE BAR for once?

Posted 12:11 PM by Gene

Great job, GoogleBlogger! We can post but our pages are still off limits! Fantastic!!

Posted 12:09 PM by Gene

And shucks Osama Channel, our side is losing, despite the generous help of Iran.

Posted 12:08 PM by Gene

The Arab Commission for Human Rights told Aljazeera the Spanish action was a serious attack on press freedom. [Emphasis added.]

Pffh-hh-hh-hh ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

What human rights? The right to be beheaded? The right to be stoned? The right to have to wear a veil in public? Who chairs the commission? Libya?

Posted 12:08 PM by Gene

Poll: 70% believe Saddam, 9-11 link

Once again, the public proves smarter than its putative masters -- and sighhhhhhhhh, the correct number is 69%.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

May I respectfully suggest Dubya should have given this some thought before appearing as a wholly-owned ass of the NFL.

Speaking of which, even the conservative Washington Times is lecturing Commissioner Tagliafool's louts for their royal fleece.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

For once I'm grateful Trib now charges for its LALA Times show-biz press releases; this way I avoid what is no doubt an extremely irritating (and no doubt quite euphemistic) home-video sales pitch.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

Thanks to a new burst of GoogleBlogger incompetence I had to write all my posts on WordPad. Thanks for being down for only, what, twelve hours?

Posted 4:42 PM by Gene

MR. NOBEL, THE GREATEST EX-PRESIDENT OF ALL TIME, once again sidles up to the side of PEACE, PEACE, till there is no peace.

Posted 4:34 PM by Gene

LINE OF THE WEEK:

While the sun still shone, the beautiful U.S. Capitol provided an unlikely and, it seemed, reluctant backdrop for the acts. When night came, and the dome was lit up, it appeared to recede a bit into the distance, as if in shame.
Perhaps the Mall will be available now to every American for weddings, birthday parties and bar mitzvahs. No, probably not. You’ll have to be a giant corporation to take over this precious public space and, in effect, spill a ton of garbage all over it.

Posted 4:26 PM by Gene

Envirowackos again?

Lot of good all that smoke does to the environment, idiots.

Posted 4:24 PM by Gene

I can think of some reasons car dealers might not be so enamored of TV anymore: eBay Motors, the lack of annoying announcers on the Web, plus the fact that the more the biggest of the Clunker Brothers advertises the smaller its market share gets, and you know how much godawful TV it finances.

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

I beat lgf by 25 minutes, and the Professor by 35 minutes, and the only ones who'll care are three computers.

Posted 12:41 PM by Gene

Even the cautious Adm. Gehman of the Columbia board concedes it's time to replace the Orbiting Jalopy.

Posted 11:54 AM by Gene

SPAIN ARRESTS ONE OF THE OSAMA CHANNEL'S TOP SPI -- REPORTERS FOR BELONGING TO AL-QAEDA!!!!!

While you're at it, arrest the rest of The Osama Channel.

(Note: "renowned" equals "critically-acclaimed.")

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

$317 MILLION WOO WOO WOO WOO!!!!!

I thought economists were only supposed to lose money.

Posted 10:34 AM by Gene

Every time gasoline prices go up somebody threatens an investigation, but by that time gasoline prices have gone down, and that's the last we hear of it -- until the next time.

The Beltway drones will never learn, will they.

Posted 10:27 AM by Gene

Okay, exalted former FCC associate general counsel, which is worse: an FCC dictated by "e-mails" and "picketers," or an FCC dictated by lobbyists and junkets?

Posted 8:01 AM by Gene

Our dear old sweet allies, the French, may have sold equipment to help Iran nuke Israel. How nice. How usual.

Posted 7:52 AM by Gene

Be careful when you use the word HACK, Andy S. YOU'RE A NEWSCORPION.

(Glad to see you back from your season-long vacation. How did the world get along without you?)

Posted 7:49 AM by Gene

Iraq draft 'needs serious work'

Russia, France and Germany need serious work.

Posted 7:46 AM by Gene

When the NFL parties on public property, gues who foots the bill.

Posted 7:13 AM by Gene

Some jackass says we're in a new age of TV genius -- so who does she cite in the fourth paragraph? THE MEGALOMANIACAL PERFESSER THOMPSON!

These jerks can't think for themselves, no, they must allow quote machines to make the points for them, the same old quote machines who must be cited five million times. I HATE NEWS HACKS!

Posted 7:02 AM by Gene

More hard, hard, HARD work for WHORVIS.

Can anyone doubt now the Saudis were in cahoots with the big O up to their eyeballs? We shouldn't be "cooperating" with these idiots, we should cut off diplomatic ties. Ah, but then there's oil -- and that ol' Kissinger "realism."

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

I suppose this story about the closing of a local department-store chain on Long Island should concern only Long Islanders, but to me it's another melancholy symbol of everything that's gone wrong with downtowns. As I've said before, the right hook from the businessmen who ran screaming from our cities at the sight of the first "nig - " -- you get the idea, and the left cross from the Je$$es who believed blacks had a constitutional right to commit crime (never mind if blacks were the victims), and our cities were down for the count. Every kind of elixir has been used -- urban renewal, government bribes, adaptive reuse, sports boondoggles, higher learning, the "arts," the Web, and nothing has worked. Today's businessmen have no desire to return, using their ever-more-advanced PC as a cover and an excuse, and the Je$$es are still determined to fleece the taxpayer and victimize ghetto dwellers, and we're still in an urban stalemate.

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

Finally, after two years, the White House is reopened to the public, although the scaredy cats are still in charge.

It's about time!

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

McDonald's may have dodged a bullet, but the national nannies are reloading.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

Oh go back into your bunkers and dream of world domination.

Posted 2:42 PM by Gene

O'Reilly: I'd Sue Franken If I Could

WELL WHAT'S STOPPING YOU? (Pffh-hh-hh-hh!!)

Posted 2:31 PM by Gene

Here's news to cheer the portals of the most determined record-industry hater's heart: Bertelsmann's doing lousy.

Truth is, we need a healthy recorded-music business. But three things work against it: 1) the teen disposable-music obsessive-compulsive crowd's desire to put everything on computers and portables, bypassing hard copies; 2) an obsolete pricing strategy, adopted over twenty years ago, when CDs were still new (and not yet superior to LPs; the first machines had harsh sound) and expensive to make, and the technology had yet to merge with computers; and 3) the biz' utter dependence on rock, and the long-past mining out of that musical vein. But more than sales quirks and strategies are why the record biz is in the pits; above everything else, its creative juices have totally dried up, in every genre. Making music more accessible and more affordable won't cure the absolute dissipation of its genius. The loathsome moguls are right to be scared, but they're scared for the wrong reasons.

Posted 11:55 AM by Gene

Another mea culpa from news hacks wallowing in the pig sty of celebrity PR and then complaining they feel dirty.

Posted 11:51 AM by Gene

Have the TV-network Einsteins ever figured people may be tuning out their genius because of the increasing tonnage of graphical garbage like bugs, crawlers and pop-up promos?

Posted 11:44 AM by Gene

Drop of 12 percent for MTV video music awards

So much for publicity stunts.

Posted 11:31 AM by Gene

YAY!!!!! A "major victory" for us -- er, Senate Democrats.

Who says news hacks don't cheer?

Although the guy may have himself to blame for being coy on abortion. At least one pundit (I wish I could remember who) has suggested federal court appointees be honest and forthright in stating their beliefs. It wouldn't hurt, and we might avoid Profiles in Courage like David Souter.

Posted 11:16 AM by Gene

STOP THE PRESSES!!!!! This might be the first mainstream-media column to criticize The Ten! Better fire the guy.

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

Sorry, but I somehow don't find it amusing that thousands of semi-literates are swallowing up bandwidth with "rummors" and the minutiae of their dreary private lives and flat out unmitigated BOREDOM.

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

I am not in the mood to do a rap -- now or ever -- but seeing how this column appeared in Arab News, if Arab "journalists" pulled the rap routine, their most common rhymes would include "kill," "infidels," "martyrs," "sharia," "jihad," "Zionist," "blood-sucking," "Crusaders," and "money."

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

The bozos at Forbes.com pop up again:

"An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening."

--Marlon Brando

From the master.

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

Oooooooooh, professional college basketball coaches are holding a meeting because they're unethical.

You've got boosters, Baylor, sneaker contracts and DICKIE V and you're going to be ETHICAL?

Posted 6:31 AM by Gene

So tell us, General: Are we in charge, or aren't we?

Posted 6:27 PM by Gene

But isn't anyone who's a devotee of Scientology by definition mentally incompetent?

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

THE INVISIBLE MAN.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

Just as Vivendi is poised to make zillions on its GE Bancorp deal (hardy har har), its record unit, which cannot be mentioned in any news story without the words "free cash flow," is allegedly cutting the list price on its top-line CDs to $12.98. There has to be a BUT in here someplace, and I'll bet the BUT is they're eliminating other tiers, so the customer will pay $12.98 for everything. Nonetheless, it appears reality has finally struck the record business.

Posted 2:39 PM by Gene

Pakistan: Net closing in on Usama

THIS IS PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE!

Posted 2:37 PM by Gene

When's the divorce?

Posted 2:25 PM by Gene

Some Black Leaders Are Troubled by Priso [SIC]

Is that a new car or a spaghetti sauce?

Another joke from CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!).

Posted 2:23 PM by Gene

CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) gang acts as a lifeline for PUBLICISTS, but the best thing with this five-star press release is that people will suspect the worst thing -- that our Guinness Book champion got a nose job and has friends to cover for her.

I HATE NEWS HACKS!!!!!

Posted 2:01 PM by Gene

GULP! LALA's editor has admitted his paper is biased!

Man bites dog.

Posted 1:56 PM by Gene

$40 billion, $70 billion, who's figuring when you're talking synergy?

Posted 1:54 PM by Gene

Do you think Dubya's had the wrong Axis of Evil in mind?

Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

Meantime, in the middle of the 10,375th puff piece on GE Bancorp's magical deal, Dan Ackman says "Vivendi can assign whatever value it likes to its piece of the joint venture," which is always the name of the game in synergy.

Posted 1:35 PM by Gene

Oyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, another pop-up Forbes.com quote:

"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."

--Gore Vidal

That should't be too hard with you, Gore.

Posted 6:28 PM by Gene

Here's a real two-for-one candidate: John Kerry -- and his hair helmet.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Posted 6:27 PM by Gene

The Osama Channel champions a boycott of U.S. goods because we won't talk about atomic weapons!

I thought it was a good idea because we backed Isra -- oops, GREATER PALESTINE!

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

The same idiots who debate how many freedom fighters can fit on the head of a pin now say that GE Bancorp has "WON" Vivendi's TV and movie assets even though most stories I've read indicate that Little Jeffrey has only won the rights to an exclusive negotiation.

If we can't trust you dimwits on the little things, how can we trust you on the BIG ONES?

Posted 5:59 PM by Gene

Tom Harkin is one of the cheapest and most disingenuous of political hacks, but I wish I knew why Republicans persist in their suicidal hatred of the little guy.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Say, maybe now's a good time to quote from that commentary about the Times' "public editor":

In 1976, I delivered the Mencken Day speech. I was invited because I had edited a collection of some of [H. L. Mencken's] writing on journalism (A Gang of Pecksniffs). I said then that it was possible, even probable, that he was pulling his punches when he wrote for publication about people at The Sun, The Evening Sun and The Sunday Sun.

Why did I think so? He had begun writing that diary in the 1930s, and in the 1940s he wrote a three-volume Thirty-five Years of Newspaper Work. He had both sealed, deposited at the [Enoch] Pratt [Library in Baltimore] and embargoed until 25 and 35 years, respectively, after his death, plus a similarly sealed and embargoed four-volume collection of "letters and documents relating to the Sunpapers." Hmmm.

He died in 1956. After 1981 and 1991, researchers were able to read at last his unvarnished assessments of his Baltimore colleagues. They were brutal! His worst deprecations were those involving top-level editors (one had "highly elastic principles"; another was "a bigot" whose editorials were "idiotic"; the Sunpapers writer second only to Mencken himself in national standing professionally was "a notably stupid ... second-rate Southerner") He also mused sourly about his longtime publisher and the chairman of the board.

These were people he had socialized with for years and who regarded their relationships with him as those of close - in some cases the very closest of - friends.

Remember this the next time the hacks talk of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and our PLATINUM AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:49 PM by Gene

Reuters's hacks try to stir a panic, but unaccountably fail:

LONDON (Reuters) - A giant asteroid is heading for Earth and could hit in 2014, U.S. astronomers have warned British space monitors.

But for those fearing Armageddon, don't be alarmed -- the chances of a catastrophic collision are just one in 909,000.

Asteroid "2003 QQ47" will be closely monitored over the next two months. Its potential strike date is March 21, 2014, but astronomers say that any risk of impact is likely to decrease as further data is gathered.

This is THE KISS, Science Division.

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

The heading on this commentary about the Times' upcoming "public editor" says it all:

'Uncensored commentaries'? Yeah, right!

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Kinsley.com pulls another neat trick: logrolling for MR. SHAKEDOWN -- with a DISCLAIMER!

Disclosure: In 2002, Daniel Gross wrote an article on the history of stock-market regulation for NYSE, a magazine produced by Time Inc.'s custom-publishing unit on behalf of NYSE.

What's next, Dan? An essay praising Bill the Entomologist?

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

BEFORE YOU GET EXCITED, HACKS, this is the NINTH CIRCUIT, the LOONEY NINTH CIRCUIT, the NO-GOD-IN-THE-PLEDGE NINTH CIRCUIT, which means most likely this won't stand.

Posted 2:46 PM by Gene

There's bad news and good news on the ad-spending front. The bad news (as mentioned before) is ASWIA's gone hog-wild. The good news is the members are being slightly selective. They're spending way more on magazines, cable and local newspapers -- and the Internet (these bozos may finally be getting the message) -- but only marginally more on radio, and fractionally less on network TV. (Maybe they're getting the message here too.)

Posted 1:27 PM by Gene

Have you seen The Osama Channel's slick new English Web page? It's already 560 in Alexa. Sounds like a great opportunity, GM! Altria MOtive Foods! We'll be paying close attention to the BANNER ADS! (So far, only ads from the "airline" of the grand royal petroleum-company poohbahdom of CATARRH.)

By the way Osamas, do your ENGLISH Web page and your ARABIC Web page say the same things?!?!?!?!?

Posted 1:09 PM by Gene

At massive funeral, brother of slain cleric demands exit of U.S. soldiers

EXCITEMENT in America's luxury news suites! FINALLY! WE HAVE AN EXCUSE!!!!!

Sorry, effete overpaid snobs, WE'RE NOT LEAVING.

Posted 12:21 PM by Gene

The MESSIER spent hundreds of gazillions on show-biz so he could show off, and now his successors can hope at best to recover $3.8 billion, and the liquidation value.

Not long ago news hacks called this sort of thing GENIUS.

Posted 12:08 PM by Gene

Here's a reassuring report if you plan on air travel. My favorite bit of business:

Last summer, on a bet, a cleaning crew rammed a drink cart into one of the new ["reinforced" cockpit] doors on a United Airlines plane. The door reportedly broke off its hinges.

And yes, too much of the fight against airplane security is PC.

Posted 10:15 AM by Gene

Why would John Ashcroft run for office? Isn't being John Ashcroft office enough?

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-don't b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bomb us, Mr. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Bashir, p-p-p-p-p-p-p-please!

Posted 9:57 AM by Gene

Speaking of publicity stunts and media, MadAve is molesting our kids again.

And no, EisnerCorp Network, I'm not impressed.

Posted 9:54 AM by Gene

What was offensive wasn't the photo. What was offensive was news hacks lying down and dying for publicity, throwing their nonexistent ethics out he window for publicity, squeezing important news off their properties for publicity. A few more PR stunts like this, idiots, and you'll really see declines -- and maybe on your Web sites, too.

Posted 9:48 AM by Gene

Surprise, surprise! Busing didn't help.

Posted 7:02 AM by Gene

Speaking of jobs:

In 10 years, available jobs could outnumber workers by 6.7 million, according to a new analysis by the nonprofit Employment Policy Foundation in Washington. By 2030, the gap could widen to 35 million.

No problem! We'll just hire 'em overseas.

Posted 7:00 AM by Gene

Just what we need, Dubya -- a "manufacturing czar."

What will be his bureaucracy's motto? "We Do Our Part"?

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

Finally, something goes up near Ground Zero. Now let's finish the job.

Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

There are two ways of looking at this story: 1) A few more troops in Iraq wouldn't hurt; and 2) QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think the second is what Vern intended. (Note the clever wording: "Almost ten" soldiers wounded a day. Ten looks far worse than, say, 9.4, or whatever the actual number is.)

Do you suppose the reason the military won't give you the numbers, Vern, is because you folks yearn for another Vietnam, and will play tricks with statistics and language for that cause?

Posted 4:05 PM by Gene

JACK SHAFER ALERT: A feature writer EXPOUNDS -- on a TREND. All I'll say is Yuppies started dressing up for Halloween decades ago, and any woman who must display a horizontal belly button in public has by definition not grown up.

Posted 3:37 PM by Gene

And speaking of superb writing from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freedom Fighter's Friend:

Afghan officials and commanders say more than 90 Taliban fighters have been killed, most of them in air raids, while the Taliban say its losses are far lower.

I know conservatives do a self-parody of Kremlinology on the news hacks' strategems, but I'm nonetheless convinced the Reuters clowns write this way on purpose, to sow doubt in the reader's mind that the U. S. can prevail. The Reuters mindset is precisely the mindset that plagues the Beeb, and even the Times admits the Beeb is not as credible as it used to be.

Posted 3:34 PM by Gene

News hacks reserve the right to be intransigent.

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

When I read this story that Jesus II is soon to become America's leading scalper (He's already one of America's leading gougers), part of me gets jealous that people can fork out $50,000 a ticket for sporting events and concerts; but then I realize the chances are good that you'll see a blowout, and most of the concerts star has-beens a few years from Social Security, and my jealousy abates -- a little.

Posted 1:20 PM by Gene

NewsMax helps WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! say that EisnerCorp Network News "spiked" a story on Ah-NULT.

Looks like the pot and the kettle have gotten together.

Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

There was a time, not so long ago, when the theme out here was "dope, guns, and blowing s--- up."

He forgot the dopes.

Speaking of which, I'm waiting for the news hacks to declare a national holiday.

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

1. When stories like this appear, gas prices start to come down. 2. Gas prices aren't the same everywhere. 3. Adjusted for inflation, gas prices haven't gone up that much in thirty years.

These same news hacks who major in statistical illiteracy are hoping and praying for more U.S. casualties in Iraq so they can get an A on the final.

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

The Ken Fellattas have decided, well, better half a loaf than none at all, so they're backing Little Jeffrey's bid.

Wasn't it just a month or so ago when these same frauds self-servingly reminded us (after a very long and deafening silence) that there are too few companies in the media?

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

When the Times says the Beeb's in trouble, it's in trouble.

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

Whoops! It was an accident.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

Well, being of Jell-O mind I let AOL install its new SUPER-DUPER 9.0 on my system. It's got all sorts of cute colors and animations and features -- and it still disconnects automatically. WHEW! You had me worried, King Richard!

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

"You know that joke, `Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?' " Mr. Epstein said. "It became a joke because over time, nobody went there anymore It was forgotten. Because that's what happens when you build things for the dead and not for the living."

Alas, in post-apocalypse America, we don't build things for the living.

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

MORE WORK FOR WHORVIS:

In [Gerald] Posner's stark judgment, the Saudis "effectively had (bin Laden) on their payroll since the start of the [1990s]."

How do we spin our way out of THAT one, oh grand noble exalted humanity-hating royal poobahs?

Posted 12:24 PM by Gene

George Will mentions Ike, but Wesley Clark sure looks more and more like Gen. McClellan. McClellan was the thinking-man general -- a man who thought and thought and thought so much he couldn't win a war. With this sudden drumbeat of news-hack support, one can be sure so is Wesley Clark.

Posted 11:10 AM by Gene

A message in my Amazon.com "mailbox":

Isn't it about time you broke down and bought Windows XP?

Judging from recent news I'd say Windows XP will break down first.

Posted 10:23 AM by Gene

Another reason we should trust BLUNDER:

Mullah Abdul Jabar, recently appointed governor of Zabul by the Taliban, told Reuters early Sunday by satellite telephone that his forces were easily defending themselves and inflicting heavy casualties on their enemies.

He also said the Taliban had downed a U.S. helicopter on Thursday, and that five U.S. soldiers had been killed in the incident.

And at REUTERS, where Your Terrorist is Our Freedom Fighter™, they're saying, "Please, please, let it be so, please, please!"

(Note the word "appointed," by the way. I guess Reuters is now in the business of recognizing states.)

Posted 10:13 AM by Gene

Schwarzenegger Turns to Hoover Institution for Advice

Does that make him a hero?

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

I have given up trying to get truth from news hacks on subjects like this. BLUNDER has spent the last six months badmouthing our Iraq campaign, and Norman Thomas's grandson famously said the CIA was near mass suicide because the BEEB (most likely) told it the STREET was about to rise. This article ends with the foregone conclusion that Afghanistan is a goner. Best to think the worst about Osama, to fend off an unpleasant surprise, but we'll never know from the hermetically-sealed luxury news suites at BuffettMedia.

Two other reasons not to trust this story: BLUNDER's sources are the Taliban, and the first word of the headline is "Rumors." Wasn't BLUNDER's gaseous editor Mark whining to Lord Koppel of Eisner after L'Affaire Blair that nobody believes us?

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

See ya next FRIDAY!