Posted 7:59 PM by Gene

More SOUTH PA..."conservatives."

Posted 7:38 PM by Gene

I remember how addictive the Web was a decade ago, but it's even more so on broadband. I can imagine what cable modems are like (or would be like were they run on another planet). There are glitches -- occasionally things will just stop -- but on the whole, I'm impressed.

Posted 7:31 PM by Gene

Does that mean sieg heil, or something?

Enough already. Ignorance was unbowed throughout the world today.

Posted 7:30 PM by Gene

More brilliant symbolism: the Statue of Liberty is, of course, closed to tourists.

Posted 7:29 PM by Gene

Time for some FUN IN THE SUN in RIO, where we get to show off our flabby bodies, and flabbier morals.

Posted 7:28 PM by Gene

Didn't a lot of you clowns SMILE that day?

Posted 7:27 PM by Gene

Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuve that Bush=Hitler gag!

Posted 7:26 PM by Gene

DITTO!

Posted 7:25 PM by Gene

MY kind of anti-war protestors!

Posted 7:23 PM by Gene

Cape this crusader.

Posted 7:22 PM by Gene

Oh well, time to post some Yahoo! photos, like last time:



SIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! Or is that Eh?

Posted 7:02 PM by Gene

Oh, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! MORE MARTYRS FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT!!!!!

I know I'm starting to post on this @#$%&* business as much as STERNO, but given how cement-headed he and his followers are I have no choice.

Posted 6:58 PM by Gene

HERE WE GO:

Mayor Michael Bloomberg estimated the crowd at about 30,000, but organizers said later that number had grown to more than 100,000.

Why didn't you use 200,000? 500,000? A MILLION? You could put out ANY NUMBER you want, because, Tom NYUK! NYUK! NYUK! Curley, THE NEWS BIZ IS OWNED BY CONSERVATIVES.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

A MEA CULPA: In several posts I've mentioned the STERNO gang's obsession over bad dirty jokes. I might understand the occasional dirty joke if it were funny, or witty. And I must confess that in my never-to-be-published college satire I have a few jokes of the questionable kind. But I know without hearing them what kind of jokes STERNO's favorites spew over the air, and as I must say again, STERNO, some forms of expression are far more worthy of FIRST AMENDMENT PROTECTION than BAD ADOLESCENTS' dirty jokes.

One other thing: the Metropolitan Opera is in danger of losing its radio voice thanks to its inability to attract sponsors; yet BAD DIRTY JOKES seem to draw millions in ads. How can you defend this, STERNO?

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

If it is true that STERNO's league of heroes is trying to dumb down media, we Web browsers and bloggers have a responsibility to SMARTEN THEM UP.

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

YASSER LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVES P. R. MEL!!!!!

Now can we be sure it's anti-Semitic?

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

A pall of gloom has settled over all of Spain.

I'd feel a little more sympathetic if you Spaniards weren't trying to cast a pall of gloom over the whole world with your APPEASEMENT AND SURRENDER.

Here's how to feel better: just remember -- you're SUPERIOR TO THE YANQUIS.

Posted 4:46 PM by Gene

Hey STERNO!!!!! You're always whining about how THIS TINY PACK OF LOW-IQ BORN-AGAIN HAYSEEDS AND PRUDES WANTS TO TELL THE REST OF AMERICA WHAT IT CAN HEAR ON THE RADIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well maybe they do. But you're part of a tiny clique of reverse snobs and gliberals and glibertarians and permanent adolescents who want to tell the rest of America what it can hear on the radio. And while the hayseeds may rely on primitive things like faith and the Bible, you rely on superzillionaire media tyrants. To me it's no contest. The hayseeds win.

If I could challenge this lout the next thing out of his mouth would be, YOU CAN ALWAYS TURN THE RADIO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To which I'd say, as I've said in a different vein, WHO CAN TURN RADIO OFF?!?!?

It'll be a while before I surf STERNO's site again. He's getting as off his rocker on bad dirty jokes as ANDY S. is about gay marriage.

Posted 2:42 PM by Gene

Try as NEWS HACKS might to extend our soldiers' the backs of their multi-million-dollar hands (it worked in VIETNAM, didn't it? It GOT US AWARDS, didn't it?), the vets will never forget.

Posted 2:36 PM by Gene

Clinton Aides Plan to Tell Panel of Warning Bush Team on Qaeda

Did this come before or after 9/11?

Posted 2:25 PM by Gene

Pitched battles rage in Pakistan tribal belt

Is that anything like P. R. MEL in the Bible Belt?

Posted 2:11 PM by Gene

Let's not make EL POLLO LOCO too happy.

Posted 2:06 PM by Gene

Is there a connection between "THE BEST MOVIE IN A DECADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and fizzling at the box office?

Posted 1:57 PM by Gene

It's been a year since we invaded Iraq, and most of the millionaire NEWS HACKS are glum because they've tried everything to knock the effort -- and IT HASN'T WORKED. Say what you will about WMDs, SADDAM was a WMD in his own right.

Posted 1:51 PM by Gene

Anti-War Protesters Climb London's Big Ben

One way or another they got bonged.

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

The Phony Holy Medicine That Kills Kids Monitor has made a big payment to the disgraced MP George Galloway for alleging he took bribes from Iraq -- but he still was palsy-walsies with Saddam, regardless of how well it paid.

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

Hey, a hundred holy cockroaches is still better than no No. 2.

Posted 1:43 PM by Gene

Two (COUNT 'EM! TWO!) big media phonies in the latest Times Magazine: Lollipop Lou brags he's a Republican -- but maybe not this year (hey! we'd be happy if you were outsourced; then again, with all that lard it would take a lot of outsourcing); and Al O'Franken has signed up for one o'year, which suggests he not too o'confident of beating the O'SPIN NO-SPIN SPIN CORP.

Posted 1:39 PM by Gene

Did Taiwan's president hire his own hit man?

Talk about a death wish.

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

Well, I'm on DSL today, and it's a little disconcerting after the snail's crawl of the last few years. I think I understand how PROF gets the ENERGY to post 100 times a day -- and I'm sure HE DOESN'T PAY FOR HIS CONNECTION.

I had problems: my computer bloop-bleeped after I put in the Ethernet card (of course I didn't follow directions), but Dell saved me -- it apparently installed the software when it built the computer, so I didn't need the CD. (Thank you, Michael!) And the Creative Broadxent (pronounced broadgzent?) modem is spiffy, but it has a big footprint.

And just as I suspected -- GOOGLEBLOGGER STILL HICCUPS!

Posted 8:45 PM by Gene

Paris Hilton Injured During Show Taping

This hed is so rife with meaning, so delicious in its insinuations, that -- no, NO. Some things are best left to the imagination.

Posted 8:43 PM by Gene

Well! So much for that treason.

We'll never know if Capt. Yee did something nasty or was a victim of circumstance, but I love the reason for dropping the charges:

"In the grand scheme of things, and in the interest of national security, Gen. [Geoffrey] Miller [the commander at Gitmo] felt like the charges needed to be dropped.''

In other words, we can indict you on national security, and when we don't have a case, we can drop the charges on national security. NEATO!

What else do John ASHcroft and Co. have up their sleeves?

Posted 6:12 PM by Gene

Today in perusing About Last Night I came across Terry Teachout's comments on THE LAFF RIOT OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY, the LEGENDARY CHARLIE CHAPLIN. Seems Mr. Teachout tried watching his IMMORTAL comedy Gold Rush on Turner [sic] Classic Movies, and he "didn't laugh ONCE." It's only natural for Chaplin's rep to take a shellacing. First, he starred in silent films, many to our modern eyes so coarse and amateur-looking as to be unwatchable. Second, silent comedy is by nature MIME, and MIME has a stench of its own. Third, he inspired Lucille Ball, who also specialized in MIME (not to mention mugging) and more than occasionally appeared on the air imitating Chaplin with derby, moustache and cane, and who was spectacularly unfunny in her own right. And fourth, let us face it, a man who MIMES, who MUGS, and who wrote weepy theme songs for his own movies, can only be UNFUNNY.

I think of the famous screed Mark Twain wrote to his lawyer not long before he died blasting a "humor" anthology bearing his name, featuring such "celebrated" "humorists" as "Artemus Ward" and "Petroleum V. Nasby", most of it from Twain's time, all of it unfunny. (Perhaps he was staring himself in the mirror; nearly all of Twain's short pieces are today unfunny.) It will not do to say humor has a short shelf life, or that it's a child of its times; Sheridan's best comedies sparkle now as they did two centuries ago; and we still laugh at the sage wit of THE MASTER, who invited Sheridan into his own Literary Club. No, too much of big-name reps (especially big-name MEDIA reps) depends solely on groupthink, and something as fragile as comedy especially relies on it, and the groupthink had it from early on that CHARLIE CHAPLIN was a LAFF RIOT. And the bigger they are, the harder they fall, until nothing remains of Chaplin's rep but his grotesqueries, public and private.

I can't believe this blog gets less than 30,000 hits a month on average. Oh well, we fans can applaud ourselves.

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

Visa USA is Joined by Senator Hillary Clinton to Announce Delivery of Practical Money Skills Program to Batavia High School

(S)He should know.

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

Sounds like the finicky Europeans have agreed to disagree on terrorism.

These guys couldn't shoot straight if the Lord God aimed and pulled the trigger.

Posted 11:59 AM by Gene

Really, Coke ought to stick with its profitable caffeine-nerves and tooth-decay biz.

Posted 11:06 AM by Gene

Ooooooooooooh, the same Arab news toadies who lived the life of Riley on Saddam's largesse stormed out on THE GENERAL because TWO OF THEIR BRETHREN WERE STONED TO DEATH! What COURAGE!

Posted 10:59 AM by Gene

Assuming this is more than the usual conservative-columnist scare mongering, this is a brilliant idea -- letting CONGRESS amend the Constitution wih a TWO-THIRDS-MAJORITY VOTE. That way we get a Constitution with 16,000 amendments.

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

No Eddie, GAMING (can't call it GAMBLING) has NUTTIN' TO DO WITH PERSONAL BANKRUPTCIES. It's just a means of achieving the growth that'll lure more maids and janitors and bellhops and waiters who'll....

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

Heavy fighting in al Qaeda battle

Just so long as the right guys get killed.

Posted 10:37 AM by Gene

Four mour years of this twerp when millions of bloggers write for FREE?

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

Honest SUM, we NEED The Real World. Without it we can't lure the tourists who help employ all the maids and janitors and bellhops and waiters Philly NEEDS to be a LEADER in the world economy.

Every time our beloved gov opens his big fat PR trap he makes a jack*** of himself. (Wait! Wasn't that the name of a show on MTV? JACK***?)

Posted 10:29 AM by Gene

St. Joe's coach Phil Martelli, generally a man of great and self-deprecating humor, angrily called Packer a "jack***."

The word is JACKASS, which the last time I heard was not obscene. GETTING TOUCHY THERE, MR. X-RATED FX RUPERT?????????????????????

I wonder if RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did this on purpose to help undercut the FCC.

Posted 10:23 AM by Gene

Today's another RICHARD "GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE!!!!!" CORLISS kind of a day.

At least no one got hurt this time.

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

NEWS HACKS masturbate in public.

But that's what they do EVERY time they hold a "SEMINAR."

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

At least the Poles realize we're in Iraq for "moral" reasons, even if few others do.

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

Off the Mark on Cost of War, Reception by Iraqis!!!!!!!!!!

Kerry Capitalizing on Party Resources to Fill Coffers!!!!!!!!!!

Paid for by Kerry for President, Warren Buffett, Treasurer.

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

THIS IS IT! MAN THE BARRICADES! LOAD YOUR GUNS! WE'RE GOING TO WAR!!

How does the "Marseillaise" go? Da-daaaa-da-daaaa-daaaa-daaaaaaaaaa-daaaaaaaaaa....

WE WANT OUR BAD DIRTY JOKES!!!!!

OR:

: PREVIOUS STERN POSTS: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

SEAN HANNITY'S CRUSADE -- JOIN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What? To make $50 million a year flaunting my ignorance? COUNT ME IN!!

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

Marching Bagmen Alert:

Antiwar Groups to Rally Around World on March 20

Oop! TIME TO EXAGGERATE THE NUMBERS AGAIN!

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

Some grand poobah down in Baltimore is resigning because this is PRECISELY what happens when we SOCIALIZE SPORTS FACILITIES.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

Eventually PC types will force us to make a decision: is it US -- or the ANIMALS?

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

You've got COMPANY, Martha!

Just hope they don't get COMPANIES.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Fake Magazine Editor Heads To Real Jail

Where's the news? Lots of people are fake magazine editors.

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

OH oh, the FREEPERS are at it again.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

When Dubya meets with Curley's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) Stooges the atmosphere will be SO frigid it could cool ALL America ALL summer.

Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

I would NOT want to see "pix" of Courtney Love arrested unless she were very beautiful, 39-23-37, and nearly nude. But she is not (except for that last one, which she all too frequently is), and I don't want to.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

PSYCHO! SPAWNS FURTHER PSYCHOS!

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

ANOTHER outstanding Kinsley.com caption:

Today's Doonesbury: The usual suspects.

Yeah. Including the author.

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

Dippity-Do! and WEIRDO, too!
Dippity-Do! and WEIRDO, too!
And with them we'll beat little BUSH, BUSH,
BUSH is some used up MOOSH!
And with them we'll be little BUSH, BUSH, BUSH, BUSH,
BUSH, BUSH, BUSH, BUSH....

Another instance of (to paraphrase the immortal MASTER) a louse trying to set precedence over a flea.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

HE'S TAKING THE BAIT! HE'S TAKING THE BAIT!!

More! MORE!! He's still not satisfied!!

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

Somebody has allegedly "surrounded" Osama's no. 2, no thanks to EL POLLO LOCO.

Posted 12:17 PM by Gene

Since ANDY S. thinks he can come up with clever songs, well, so can I:

(To the tune of "Little Pig's Tail" or "Tippecanoe and Tyler, Too," whichever came first)

Dippity-Do! and Rodham, too!
Dippity-Do! and Rodham, too!
But which of the two is a man, man?
Man they're a screwed-up clan!
And which of the two is a man?

Posted 12:06 PM by Gene

Hey Jeff! Either you're serious about avoiding the hoosegow or you're serious about wasting money!

What's the difference?

Posted 11:44 AM by Gene

Oh GOOGLEBLOGGER! Why do I see that cute little EXCLAMATION POINT in a YELLOW TRIANGLE so often when I POST?

Posted 11:37 AM by Gene

Dippity-Do! criticizes one of his strongest supporters -- El Pollo Loco?

He probably meant to say the Chicken should never have said it PUBLICLY.

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

FTC, SENATORS, AD GROUPS ARGUE OVER MEDIA VIOLENCE

HEY REVERSE ROBIN HOODS! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T FINANCE EVERY PIECE OF DOG DROPPINGS THAT GETS PLOPPED ON THE SIDEWALK WE WOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT A "CHIEF NATIONAL CENSOR."

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

Thieves Raid Elvis Museum Jewelry Stash

Next stop: eBay!!!!!

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

I don't want President Rodham taking politically incorrect speech off the air, but I don't want KA-KA JOKES, WEE-WEE JOKES, BIG BAZOOM JOKES AND EENIE-WEENIE-PEENIE JOKES EITHER.

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

KINGIE! TIME TO CALL WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS AGAIN! HAVE TO SPIN OUR HUMAN-RIGHTS ACTIONS AGAIN!

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

SHUCKS, HOWARD STERN, looks as though THE FIRST AMENDMENT HAS ALREADY BEEN TORN UP.

OR:

: PREVIOUS STERN POSTS: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

Methodists Put Minister on Trial for Declaring Herself a Lesbian

Witch hunt! WITCH HUNT!!!!!



She's the one on the far left. Is it me or does she look like The Hero NER -- RENO?

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

What a surprise: the maker of Grand Theft Auto did some hit and run on its accounting.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

I congratulate Vir-GIN-ia for siding with women who take their husbands' last names as their own, only I wish she weren't so glibertarian ho-hum about it.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Report: Group Claims Truce With Spain

SIIIIIIIIII! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No.

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

It's nice to know SOMEBODY doesn't think Fidel is cool.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

House Panel Backs Bush on Further Tax Cuts

So what'll they spend them on?

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

Kinsley.com asks ANOTHER stupid question:

Why are Hollywood actors starring on your PlayStation?

Well, for one thing, maybe it's because they want to make money.

Posted 2:38 PM by Gene

The kind of verbose thumbsucker I love: Twenty-five years of RAP for -- NOTHING!

Rap isn't dying. Pop-culture's current structure, with its permanent status quo backed by mega-zillion media tyrannies, makes good change impossible. Besides, there's nothing to replace it, save possible worse mutations (ultra-tech, or the umpteenth variation of disco). And while the -- GENRE (I will NEVER call it MUSIC) may have been born brain-dead, its heart beats with a nonstop infusion of green blood.

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

Are you a 'flexitarian?'

Any relation to an Anti-Idiotarian? (sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

Biden endorses a fusion ticket: Kerry-McCain

The lobbying has begun, and those who think this spectacularly vain WAR HERO immune are kidding themselves.

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

Powell: Al-Qaida is on the defensive

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

Hey AFTRA, maybe if you hadn't been content for so many years to STICK IT TO THE PUBLIC maybe THE PUBLIC WOULDN'T BE STICKING IT BACK TO YOU.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

P. R. MEL THREATENS A SLASHER WESTERN ABOUT HANNUKAH!!!!!

Not entirely kidding.

OH oh, THE PRODUCER OF THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME THINKS MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT IN IRAQ!!!!! Count on a champion wind breaker like Sean to "change the subject."

Posted 8:25 AM by Gene

Hey HOWARD STERN! Did you organize the CRANK E-MAILS? Or did you suggest calling this guy a "chrome dome"?

OR:

: PREVIOUS STERN POSTS: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

TW MULLS SALE, SPIN OF AOL UNIT

Last one out turn off the computer!

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

The only way to answer El Pollo Loco is to say, "You withdraw your forces, fine. We'll withdraw our financial aid, our tourism and our trade." We could also say the next time you get hit we may have to reconsider helping you. The worst we can do is get on bended knee and beg to a lout who is obviously convinced BIG OIL organized the war. Let him fight terrorism with appeasement.

By the way, when does an AMERICAN news hack interview him? Not that it would make any difference; it would be like Lollipop Lou Dobbs interviewing Legendary Welch.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

Kerry told, 'Put up or shut up'

The nice thing about Dippity-Do! is he won't put up and he won't shut up. He wins both ways.

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

This is the new CW from leftists and glibertarians: THEIR HERO WILL DECIDE THE ELECTION. (Looks like HOWARD STERN's been STUMPING FOR HIS WEB SITE.) But I suspect more teen slasher-movie buffs and Christian S&M fans have seen P. R. MEL'S MASTERPIECE than there are psuedo-intellectuals and airheads to listen to the HERO, and besides, by the time November rolls around, the election will surely be decided by more profound things than KA-KA JOKES, WEE-WEE JOKES, BIG BAZOOM JOKES AND EENIE-WEENIE-PEENIE JOKES.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

Wonder how much of THE FATHER OF HIS COUNTRY'S NUCLEAR WINDFALL went to colonize HOLY COCKROACHES?

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

Here is the definition of WHAT A CROCK: WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS is boasting that the SAUDIS killed THE POET.

You may have killed THE POET but you haven't begun to kill THE PROBLEM.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

France is the target of a new round of terror threats

Shucks, I guess appeasement isn't enough.

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

Poll: Muslim countries, Europe question U.S. motives

Can we say the feeling's mutual?

The usual grain of salt: "The polls were taken in February, before the train bombings in Spain that claimed the lives of at least 200 people." Translation: we may control the people but we can't control events.

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

HOWARD STERN! Your HERO has become "Chris Matthews blabbering about politics"!

SHUT UP already -- BOTH of you!

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

I don't think Dubya has anything to do with the fact that many professional college basketball players can't GRADUATE.

Here's another instance where POLITICS trumps TRUTH. Had this clown not decided to see what it's like turning your face beet red and your head three times normal (just like THE GLIBERAL when HE imagines Dubya) he'd have had a column.

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

Dubya has no business doing propaganda! WE HAVE THE MONOPOLY ON IT!

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

This'll stem the decline of the "mainstream" liberal "churches" -- ADVERTISING.

Further proof these "churches" have abandoned The Word for words.

Posted 8:55 AM by Gene

Hey PROF, am I now going to have to call YOU JEFF JARVIS?!?!?

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

I feel bad for those GIs "living in pain," but if not for our GIs a lot more of us would be living in pain.

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

Speaking of Hell I see they've come up with a suspect for the Ohio snipings -- which the authorities could have done two months sooner had they happened near Washington.

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

I'd come up with a poem for The Poet but every line would rhyme with Hell.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

Now that NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has discovered El Pollo Loco said "No more deaths for oil," how long before we learn he whispered sweet nothings into Saddam's ear?

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

One of the most BRILLIANT ideas in MARKETING HISTORY: GlaxoSmithKline (DilbertSpell) is using ADVERTISING to convince people DRUGS AREN'T OVERPRICED.

This is like using ads to convince people A POLITICAN'S TELLING THE TRUTH.

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

While El Pollo Loco threratens to withdraw from the terrorist fight in a snit fit over the cowboy, the rest of the coalition shows better sense.

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

Two fee collectors (er, BANKS) marrying in hopes of creating a NATIONAL fee collector (er, BANK) give some mutual-fund investors a little wedding present.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

EU Doesn't Trust Microsoft

I don't trust Microsoft. I don't trust the EU either. Six of one....

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

[W]hat occurred in Madrid last week is all our fault.

It was, wasn't it? I think the Dems should nominate Rep. Cowface Flipflop as vice-president and then he'd teach us how to solve all problems with LOVE.

And maybe a few late-term abortions.

Posted 12:45 PM by Gene

The slow death of the grand New Hampshire town meeting tradition should give pause to the Web PR types who insist on calling the medium a rebirth of democracy. It's democracy, all right -- if you could mud slinging and ad hominem attacks democracy. It's also democracy for TREKKIES, RINGIES, STERNIES, VIDEOGAME PHREAKS, and anyone else whose motto should be GET A LIFE!

Posted 12:21 PM by Gene

Goody! They found a big bomb near our consulate in Karachi several days ago.

See Carlos, or Juan, or whomever, you don't have to worry as they only attack US.

I wonder if a travel-and-trade backlash will develop. It depends on how Nevillian the Spanish leadership is.

Posted 12:09 PM by Gene

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooh, ought to go easy on that GEL, Dip! The FUMES!

Posted 7:55 AM by Gene

What would they have called WACKO's film -- MY OTHER THE CAR?

Posted 7:54 AM by Gene

THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!

Spain is a third-rate power that is still upset that it lost the battle in colonizing the new world. If it wishes to thumb its nose at us, fine. It didn't do a lot of good for the French, or the Germans, or the Russians. As for the notion that the holy cockroaches are going to WREAK HAVOC on democracies, haven't they already done some of that?

Posted 9:05 PM by Gene

Democrats coming to Boston, but what will their meeting place be called?

Why not the THIS SPACE FOR RENT CENTER.

Posted 8:58 PM by Gene

Prof does his lemming dance (as did LGF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), which came before this Bloomberg report indicating Spain's Socialists want to cut taxes and keep the budget balanced. Sounds almost conservative to me. (It's conservative compared to what Dubya has done.) They're also have to form a coalition government, which neither Prof nor Dow 36,000's site seems to have noticed. Let's keep our fingers crossed they won't be that bad with us.

Annoying how you have to pay attention to this sort of news when you didn't have to before. Especially annoying you have to pay attention to sixty-zillion-megahit-per-second bloggers when you don't have a hit to your name.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Excellent news: the authorities found (and defused, thankfully) a bomb in the home town of this summer's GE BANCORP Global Obscure Sports and Sappy Featurettes Orgy.

More and more this event's looking like a farce of epic proportions.

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

It will be interesting to see how the HACKS spin this one as a DEFEAT for the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL Dubya, but it appears the early politics and incompetence of the investigation was more to blame. At any rate, we can do without the Spaniards if we have to.

Now does Spain do the international ostrich trick? Or will it turn overtly Nevillian (as in Chamberlain)?

Posted 3:54 PM by Gene

I don't know what The DONALD has to do with The HOUSE of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL, but we can always count on The GLIBERAL to find out.

Where's the PUBLIC EDITOR been lately? Preparing his next cutesy column?

Posted 1:44 PM by Gene

Do they boogie at The Osama Channel when stories like these come in?

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

That the GENERAL and so many others in authority are flailing all over the place to pin blame on the Madrid atrocity should hardly comfort us because chances are they don't know that much else about terrorists either.

Posted 1:16 PM by Gene

A chapter of the same British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club that recently had a fight over who'd lead the socials dispenses what it must call "communion" for pets, which happily is nothing but a nice cool drink.

It's days like these that make you think that if God isn't angry He's getting there (or as Jonah Goldberg would write, "he").

Posted 12:46 PM by Gene

Despite the HUGE INTERNATIONAL AWAKENING created by THE GREATEST FILM OF ALL TIME, how many churches will look like this today?

Posted 12:06 PM by Gene

Another one-hit airhead prepares to sell an album, and who better to sell it with than BLUNDER? BLUNDER asks all the softball questions and won't let things like whether a property stinks get in the way of a good SALES PITCH. TELL IT -- AND SELL IT -- WITH BLUNDER!

MR. MARK, Carl Limburger, millionaires and bums taste about alike to me -- especially when they're all millionaire bums.

Posted 12:00 PM by Gene

Once again, terror insults civilization, this time striking Europe. No matter whodunit, this cannot pass.

You're a regular LAFF RIOT, JONATHAN ALTER -- trying to make TERRORISM FUNNY!

Wonder what this jerk would do if Osama's gang ever blew up a BOMB?

Posted 11:51 AM by Gene

RABBIS SAY CRITICS OF 'THE PASSION' ENDANGER JEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And of course the "rabbis" is chiefly Monsignor Lapin, one of P. R. MEL's biggest PRESS AGENTS and PAT ROBERTSON'S idea of what a good, pliant, er, GOD-FEARING, er, whatever you'd call a Catholic rabbi should be like.

I'll be glad when this stunt is finally over, then NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can go back to hell again from whence it came. Not that it seems to have left the place.

Posted 9:05 AM by Gene

Even taking into account the rioting which serves as the hallmark of true American champions, soccer has killled more fans than all American sports combined.

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

The problem is, BRENT, it's not A SLASHER FILM, it's THE WORD OF GOD. It will be a LONG time before I can forget how CONSERVATIVES equalled the LIBERALS' hypocrisy with a spectacular demonstration of their own.

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

: Here is a commercial -- quite unsafe for work or family here in America -- that is on Channel 4's site in Britain saying the f-word and others with glee. Boy, are things different there. Maybe Howard should move there. Maybe I should, too. [via AroundMyRoom]

BYE BYE, HOWARD!

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

I was wrong: Mr. High-C got a BIG standing O, as he deserved. I guess Met fans will never be as bad as Philly fans.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

Hey ANDY S., when you start with your OBSESSION, you can join YOUR FRIEND Chris Matthews AND Jayson AND Larry King where the sun don't shine.

What a group. Insta has his SPIKES, HOWARD has HOWARD, lgf has gory photos, and ANDY S. wants to marry himself. These prophets shall lead us to the promised land. Ever hear of lemmings?

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

Some time ago I read in several newspapers local and foreign that the money wealthy Saudis have invested abroad is estimated to be in the region of $600 billion. This works out to about SR2,250 billion. The zakah on this enormous sum is about SR56 billion per year.

Where is all this money? Why is not some of it being spent in this country?

Because we have to wipe out INFIDELS.