THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Sunday, May 07, 2006
MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII-THREEEEEEEEEE may have done $3.7 MILLION LESS than VAN HOSING -- at over 500 MORE SCREENS!!!!!
MARTY CHEERLEADER!
PAUL DRECK'S SPIN MACHINE is WHIRRING!
HEY SUMNER! How many patrons did your ZILLIONS in MEGAMARKETING COST you? Hey SUM! Was I the only one more than a little annoyed at the way your pal MR. WARNER BROS. shoved your property in our faces? HUH SUM?
And what about your COUCH BOUNCING and SILENT BIRTHING, O SON OF GOD?
$37 MILLION LESS THAN X2 THREE YEARS AGO! (X-WHAT?)
P. S. NIKKI!!!!! accuses the SON OF GOD'S CHURCH of BULK TICKET BUYING!
Didn't help much.
MARTY CHEERLEADER!
PAUL DRECK'S SPIN MACHINE is WHIRRING!
HEY SUMNER! How many patrons did your ZILLIONS in MEGAMARKETING COST you? Hey SUM! Was I the only one more than a little annoyed at the way your pal MR. WARNER BROS. shoved your property in our faces? HUH SUM?
And what about your COUCH BOUNCING and SILENT BIRTHING, O SON OF GOD?
$37 MILLION LESS THAN X2 THREE YEARS AGO! (X-WHAT?)
P. S. NIKKI!!!!! accuses the SON OF GOD'S CHURCH of BULK TICKET BUYING!
Didn't help much.
Bad news: John Daly's "book" is down to 53 on Amazon.com, and strangely no one has reviewed it yet -- either because there's nothing to read or his fans can't.
Prosecutors have e-mails showing Rep. Tom DeLay's office knew lobbyist Jack Abramoff had arranged the financing for the Texas Republican's controversial European golfing trip in 2000 and was concerned "if someone starts asking questions."
What else did that Republican hero know?
Enough to force him to RESIGN?
P. S. Con-SER-va-tives will scream about leaks, and will no doubt caterwaul that this is the proverbial much ado. Isn't it a little late in the day for that?
What else did that Republican hero know?
Enough to force him to RESIGN?
P. S. Con-SER-va-tives will scream about leaks, and will no doubt caterwaul that this is the proverbial much ado. Isn't it a little late in the day for that?
Buffett tries to reassure the faithful
And CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES were there, prostrate and babbling in tongues.
Just another day at the office.
And CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES were there, prostrate and babbling in tongues.
Just another day at the office.
Chick-lit (blecch) is (temporarily, and we hope more than) on the decline.
The Serial Plagiarist did her part, we've no doubt.
The Serial Plagiarist did her part, we've no doubt.
In an official Democratic Party campaign document, Nancy says she'll "raise the minimum wage, roll back parts of the Republican prescription drug law, implement homeland security measures [?!?!?] and reinstate lapsed budget deficit controls."
And have John "Justice" Conyers impeach Dubya, and John "Respected" Murtha gut defense. This will be a hilarious term, Babs!
And have John "Justice" Conyers impeach Dubya, and John "Respected" Murtha gut defense. This will be a hilarious term, Babs!
And the TWXSTERS confirm Porter's resignation was part of a glorified food fight. Just what we need with terrorists on the loose -- Beltway types slinging mashed potatoes.
Meantime, over at the Double-Towers of Babble, the Cover Disease of the Week is autism.
Whatsa matter, guys? Run out of pols to endorse or movies to plug?
Whatsa matter, guys? Run out of pols to endorse or movies to plug?
I haven't read it, but it's sure to be Mr. Mark's most CW accomplishment yet. Our cover is the "twenty-fifth anniversary" of AIDS (whatever that means; the virus was around for a long time before that, one suspects), and thus we can be PC to our heart's content, and say we need to spend katrillions more on the disease (Slick and Mrs. Bugmeister are here, so you know they'll say that) when we've already spent katrillions to little effect, and maybe put in a few condescending words to the millions of Africans and Asians who've suffered (not to mention the ghetto people we top editors of newsrags and former presidents take great pains to avoid), and with luck this will be one of Mr. Mark's worst-selling issues in years.
"They think I'm gonna die. You know what, they better not hold their breath," Ryan White once told his mother. Though given six months to live when he was diagnosed with HIV, Ryan lived five and a half years, long enough to prod a nation into joining the fight against AIDS. When he died in 1990 at the age of 18, Congress named a new comprehensive AIDS funding act after him.
...which helped stop the disease. If I had the sheer intestinal fortitude I'd like to go through Mr. Mark's archive and see how his luxury news suite has scribbled on AIDS -- no doubt a mix of PC, panic (AIDS MAY KILL HALF THE WORLD BY 2000!!!!!!!!!!) and pleas for more money. Sorry, Mark, you're part of the problem too.
"They think I'm gonna die. You know what, they better not hold their breath," Ryan White once told his mother. Though given six months to live when he was diagnosed with HIV, Ryan lived five and a half years, long enough to prod a nation into joining the fight against AIDS. When he died in 1990 at the age of 18, Congress named a new comprehensive AIDS funding act after him.
...which helped stop the disease. If I had the sheer intestinal fortitude I'd like to go through Mr. Mark's archive and see how his luxury news suite has scribbled on AIDS -- no doubt a mix of PC, panic (AIDS MAY KILL HALF THE WORLD BY 2000!!!!!!!!!!) and pleas for more money. Sorry, Mark, you're part of the problem too.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
And in other empire-building news:
Toll Bros. says orders down 32%
While this is quite pleasing (except to the blameless carpenters and electricians and plumbers who put up its McMansions) we cannot underestimate the perfidy of the REALTOR® biz, as it continues to build housing exclusively for the rich, and provide fodder for idiot speculators, and make as much of America as it can unaffordable and uninhabitable.
Toll Bros. says orders down 32%
While this is quite pleasing (except to the blameless carpenters and electricians and plumbers who put up its McMansions) we cannot underestimate the perfidy of the REALTOR® biz, as it continues to build housing exclusively for the rich, and provide fodder for idiot speculators, and make as much of America as it can unaffordable and uninhabitable.
Today saw the annual Walnut Street Pain-in-the-A-Double-Scribble Street Festival. Does anyone other than the mayor's PR staff and few businessmen really benefit from these? It's a bunch of people walking and being bored. An extra added attraction was a fight between some Chicago® impersonators and the public pop-rock station WXPN to see who could be more excruciatingly loud. I bought some Chinese food from the restaurant that was better the last time I did it. The girl watching was a little better this year, but that hobby is as profitable as an all-thumbs man building furniture. A oui-oui boutique set up a stand and did what I think was body make-up on several barely-clad women, including someone who vaguely reminded me of Celeste Holm and was quite prominently endowed. I walked away but my eyes wouldn't. When I returned a few hours later they were merely doing make-up.
On a detour to find the City Institute library unexpectedly open I stumbled across Terry Teachout's Commentary article on that superb jazzman "Fats" Waller. Teachout gets a little pretentious writing about pop music, especially people who were in their time considered mere entertainers; but that we more than listen to Fats, we venerate him, a man who died almost 63 years ago, shows the wealth of his culture, and the poverty of ours.
Speaking of -- well, I'm sure I couldn't call it MUSIC, on a trip down to my local A & P (SUPER FRESH!) I passed a park named for the creator of some spectacularly ugly architecture, which had a street festival of its own (well, the weather was nice) and where A CHEAP CHANNEL AUTOMATIC AD PLAYBACK MACHINE was having a contest. I can only hope whenever Fats hears the yowls of our no-talents he can drown them out with deafening blasts on his heavenly pipe organ, which can translate on earth into thunderbolts to zap CHEAP CHANNEL's transmitters.
On a detour to find the City Institute library unexpectedly open I stumbled across Terry Teachout's Commentary article on that superb jazzman "Fats" Waller. Teachout gets a little pretentious writing about pop music, especially people who were in their time considered mere entertainers; but that we more than listen to Fats, we venerate him, a man who died almost 63 years ago, shows the wealth of his culture, and the poverty of ours.
Speaking of -- well, I'm sure I couldn't call it MUSIC, on a trip down to my local A & P (SUPER FRESH!) I passed a park named for the creator of some spectacularly ugly architecture, which had a street festival of its own (well, the weather was nice) and where A CHEAP CHANNEL AUTOMATIC AD PLAYBACK MACHINE was having a contest. I can only hope whenever Fats hears the yowls of our no-talents he can drown them out with deafening blasts on his heavenly pipe organ, which can translate on earth into thunderbolts to zap CHEAP CHANNEL's transmitters.
DUBYA SPEAKS FOR THE AGES AT OKLAHOMA STATE:
"My advice: Harness the promise of technology without becoming slaves to technology. My advice is that science serves the cause of humanity and not the other way around," the president said.
After the speech, some graduates said they couldn't make out clearly what Bush said because of an echo in the audio system at Boone Pickens Stadium.
Since when has BUGMEISTER BILL been in the sound biz?
P. S. Boone! Time to "donate" another $165 million?
"My advice: Harness the promise of technology without becoming slaves to technology. My advice is that science serves the cause of humanity and not the other way around," the president said.
After the speech, some graduates said they couldn't make out clearly what Bush said because of an echo in the audio system at Boone Pickens Stadium.
Since when has BUGMEISTER BILL been in the sound biz?
P. S. Boone! Time to "donate" another $165 million?
Judging from these numbers MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII-THREEEEEEEEEE may not be doing as well as expected. It's a measure of the news hacks' stupidity that we should say a film that drew roughly two million movie S&M phreaks its first day is not doing well, but such is our culture's stupidity that we center our lives around every CGI fest and its gross. And we know these are overblown mediocrities at best; Mr. Upthumb, in an exceedingly rare display of candor, said so.
Three more things: people are screaming from the other movies in droves; the B.O. is down over 12 percent from two years ago, when WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE had stopped whapping; and no, people don't want to relive 9/11 in a popcorn restaurant.
P. S. Indeed -- THE SON OF GOD pulled in less biz than VAN HOSING -- at MORE POPCORN RESTAURANTS?!?!?
Three more things: people are screaming from the other movies in droves; the B.O. is down over 12 percent from two years ago, when WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE had stopped whapping; and no, people don't want to relive 9/11 in a popcorn restaurant.
P. S. Indeed -- THE SON OF GOD pulled in less biz than VAN HOSING -- at MORE POPCORN RESTAURANTS?!?!?
THE DONALD issues another PRESS RELEASE!
It's "unfounded speculation" like this that makes us wish all these REALTORS® would get their comeuppance, but if they did, they wouldn't get hurt. Guess who would.
It's "unfounded speculation" like this that makes us wish all these REALTORS® would get their comeuppance, but if they did, they wouldn't get hurt. Guess who would.
Friday, May 05, 2006
ANOTHER NEWS-HACK DANCING-IN-THE-STREETS FRENZY:
WIE MAKES CUT AT MEN'S EVENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...in South Korea.
WIE MAKES CUT AT MEN'S EVENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...in South Korea.
If the PORNO BIZ is doing $850 kazillion megatrillion dollars why did PLAYBOY hit a 52-week low?
(Via IWantMedia.com)
(Via IWantMedia.com)
Ronny McD's changing his last name to STARBUCKS and has set the franchisees on edge.
Don't they realize bringing more customers into the stores means more money the Mick can spend on crappy television and THE GAMES, which is its real business in life?
I want to see how long those plush furnishings hold up under thousands of children and poor people.
In our other Joke of the Day, NRO is exercised because DVC!!!!! might lead to an outbreak of -- ANTI-SEMITISM!!!!!
I guess it all depends on which side our ANTI-SEMITE is on.
I guess it all depends on which side our ANTI-SEMITE is on.
So -- Pat Kennedy gets away with driving under some sort of influence.
Being a Kennedy is like flashing an AmEx Platinum Card: it disperses the cops -- for a little while.
Being a Kennedy is like flashing an AmEx Platinum Card: it disperses the cops -- for a little while.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
John Daly's "book" is 18 on Amazon.com!
He and the Serial Plagiarist teach us a lesson: you don't have to write to write a book.
He and the Serial Plagiarist teach us a lesson: you don't have to write to write a book.
Yep, it's that time of year when THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS complains about the mess it helps leave on television! Here we go: Cable now has more "clutter" than broadcast! ABC has the most clutter! FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has the most commercial minutes! And MTV leads the cable networks in clutter!
Great job, ASWIA! Keep up the good work! We know you will!
P. S. Excuse of the Week:
Even though TV is less cluttered than print and online, viewers believe TV has too much advertising, according to MindShare's research.
You don't need TiVo to read a newspaper.
Great job, ASWIA! Keep up the good work! We know you will!
P. S. Excuse of the Week:
Even though TV is less cluttered than print and online, viewers believe TV has too much advertising, according to MindShare's research.
You don't need TiVo to read a newspaper.
THE TWO "GIUSEPPES": Unlike the quivering Jell-O at piles of technology like G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE, the Pope has taken a bold and courageous stand against the Chinese government. The Holy See appoints bishops, not the technocrats of Beijing.
(Via -- alas -- AMERICA'S NO. 1 SOUTH PARK FAN)
(Via -- alas -- AMERICA'S NO. 1 SOUTH PARK FAN)
The Big Upraised Thumb commits...
Either you want to see mindless action and computer-generated sequences executed with breakneck speed and technical precision, or you do not. I am getting to the point where I don't much care. There is a theory that action is exciting and dialogue is boring. My theory is that variety is exciting and sameness is boring. Modern high-tech action sequences are just the same damn thing over and over again: high-speed chases, desperate gun battles, all possible modes of transportation, falls from high places, deadly deadlines, exotic locations and characters who hardly ever say anything interesting.
...HERESY!!!!!
(Via ShowBizData.com)
Either you want to see mindless action and computer-generated sequences executed with breakneck speed and technical precision, or you do not. I am getting to the point where I don't much care. There is a theory that action is exciting and dialogue is boring. My theory is that variety is exciting and sameness is boring. Modern high-tech action sequences are just the same damn thing over and over again: high-speed chases, desperate gun battles, all possible modes of transportation, falls from high places, deadly deadlines, exotic locations and characters who hardly ever say anything interesting.
...HERESY!!!!!
(Via ShowBizData.com)
Crude falls under $70 for the first time in three weeks
I know what did it -- it was PASSING THAT LEGISLATION!!!!!
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
I know what did it -- it was PASSING THAT LEGISLATION!!!!!
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
When in the God's name is LucasCorp going to go PUBLIC?
• In Star Wars, Han Solo shoots a bounty hunter named Greedo. Lucas changed the scene later so it seemed that Greedo draws first, and changed it again for the DVD so that they appear to shoot simultaneously.
We think we understand why.
• In Star Wars, Han Solo shoots a bounty hunter named Greedo. Lucas changed the scene later so it seemed that Greedo draws first, and changed it again for the DVD so that they appear to shoot simultaneously.
We think we understand why.
6 charged with fraud in Big Dig contract
They worked for Aggregate Industries....
Indeed.
(From Boston.com's home page)
They worked for Aggregate Industries....
Indeed.
(From Boston.com's home page)
OH oh:
Gillette Acquisition May Be Hurting P&G
Perhaps trying to finance all the world's junk television is NOT such a good idea.
Gillette Acquisition May Be Hurting P&G
Perhaps trying to finance all the world's junk television is NOT such a good idea.
Why Sudan But Not Iraq?
Why Iraq but not Sudan?
Why must our intervention in foreign quagmires always be dictated by RIGHT and LEFT?
And no, I'm not fond of the SCAB PICKER either.
Why Iraq but not Sudan?
Why must our intervention in foreign quagmires always be dictated by RIGHT and LEFT?
And no, I'm not fond of the SCAB PICKER either.
For a moment, Richard Cohen's brain sputters brightly ON:
On television, Colbert is often funny. [Well, there's no accounting for tastes. --ED.] But on his own show he appeals to a self-selected audience that reminds him often of his greatness. In Washington he was playing to a different crowd, and he failed dismally in the funny person's most solemn obligation: to use absurdity or contrast or hyperbole to elucidate -- to make people see things a little bit differently. He had a chance to tell the president and much of important (and self-important) Washington things it would have been good for them to hear. But he was, like much of the blogosphere itself, telling like-minded people what they already know and alienating all the others. In this sense, he was a man for our times.
He also wasn't funny.
Now may we finally put THAT DINNER to rest?
(Via the ineffable ROMY)
On television, Colbert is often funny. [Well, there's no accounting for tastes. --ED.] But on his own show he appeals to a self-selected audience that reminds him often of his greatness. In Washington he was playing to a different crowd, and he failed dismally in the funny person's most solemn obligation: to use absurdity or contrast or hyperbole to elucidate -- to make people see things a little bit differently. He had a chance to tell the president and much of important (and self-important) Washington things it would have been good for them to hear. But he was, like much of the blogosphere itself, telling like-minded people what they already know and alienating all the others. In this sense, he was a man for our times.
He also wasn't funny.
Now may we finally put THAT DINNER to rest?
(Via the ineffable ROMY)
The dimwitted House sluts pass a piece of -- "ETHICS" legislation, meaning crookery as usual.
TERM LIMITS NOW!
TERM LIMITS NOW!
Mr. My Business is My Business, part of the right-wing division of the herd of independent jernalistic minds, confirms in his busy typing, and especially in his last graf...
Small wonder that a conservative wit has surmised that the wisdom of economists varies inversely with their heights. Milton Friedman, 93, is 5 feet tall.
...what I said a few days ago: John Kenneth Galbraith and Milton Friedman are all-purpose all-seers who tell only the truths you want to hear. Galbraith told the truth of socialism and state control; Friedman tells the truth of greed and moral laissez faire. Their acolytes swoon to their respective truths. The rest of us just swoon.
Small wonder that a conservative wit has surmised that the wisdom of economists varies inversely with their heights. Milton Friedman, 93, is 5 feet tall.
...what I said a few days ago: John Kenneth Galbraith and Milton Friedman are all-purpose all-seers who tell only the truths you want to hear. Galbraith told the truth of socialism and state control; Friedman tells the truth of greed and moral laissez faire. Their acolytes swoon to their respective truths. The rest of us just swoon.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
John Daly's "book" is 23 on Amazon.com!
Making another trip to Vegas soon, Boom-Boom-Boom?
Making another trip to Vegas soon, Boom-Boom-Boom?
The question is not IF we'll have three big overbearing tone-deaf record companies, it's WHEN.
In a statement released early this morning, EMI said Warner Music had rejected it's proposal....
[SIC!]
In a statement released early this morning, EMI said Warner Music had rejected it's proposal....
[SIC!]
OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooh, Dave at AmSpec got MAD:
"I would rather have a clean government than one where, quote, First Amendment rights are being respected, that has become corrupt. If I had my choice, I’d rather have the clean government."
That, my friends, is why John McCain shouldn't be president, in principle. And why he may not make it, practically. This quote will come back to haunt him.
Okay Dave, we don't trust BOOBS McKEATING either. So here's a suggestion: How about 535 Duke Cunninghams in Congress, for starters? And how about thousands of Dukes in government agencies? And how about a Duke in the White House?
Just a suggestion. Too many of your ilk would take it.
"I would rather have a clean government than one where, quote, First Amendment rights are being respected, that has become corrupt. If I had my choice, I’d rather have the clean government."
That, my friends, is why John McCain shouldn't be president, in principle. And why he may not make it, practically. This quote will come back to haunt him.
Okay Dave, we don't trust BOOBS McKEATING either. So here's a suggestion: How about 535 Duke Cunninghams in Congress, for starters? And how about thousands of Dukes in government agencies? And how about a Duke in the White House?
Just a suggestion. Too many of your ilk would take it.
I confess to be of two minds about something like this. On the one hand sodas should probably never have been sold in schools in the first place; they certainly weren't at my elementary school. On the other hand the SLICK imprimatur means this is PC to the NTH, and will liberals please explain why we should have no sodas in schools while allowing unlimited abortions?
WE MAY NEVER BE THROUGH WITH THAT @#$%&* DEBATE ABOUT THAT @#$%&* DINNER IN THAT @#$%&* CAPITOL!
How often in their lifetime did Washington or Lincoln hear the word "IRONIC"?
How often in their lifetime did Washington or Lincoln hear the word "IRONIC"?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Buggy Bill's vista may recede a few more months.
That's okay; it'll give his writers more time to assemble SP1.
That's okay; it'll give his writers more time to assemble SP1.
Speaking of power, The power of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the Web:
NEWHALL Hart High School is on alert today and half the students stayed home after a ``bring your weapons to school day'' posting on the popular MySpace.com web site, school officials said.
NEWHALL Hart High School is on alert today and half the students stayed home after a ``bring your weapons to school day'' posting on the popular MySpace.com web site, school officials said.
I'M SICK OF YOU SNOBBY WEALTHY SCRIBBLERS YAK-YAK-YAKKING ABOUT YOUR @#$%&* DINNER!!!!!
(VIA ROMY, WHOM I'M GETTING TIRED OF ALSO)
(VIA ROMY, WHOM I'M GETTING TIRED OF ALSO)
Saudi minister says oil prices too high
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
"Insight" and "Ben Brantley" are two terms that seldom go together, but we must confess he's hit the nail about musicals. People want to laugh, they want to be enchanted, they want melodic tunes and bright lyrics -- and what they get is "at best...a festive entree at a high-end suburban dinner theater." But this is, after all, Branson East, a chain of high-end suburban dinner theaters in Manhattan, and Branson East exists not to enchant people, but to gouge them.
Lifestyles of the Rich and Sated:
[I]n January 2001, for his wife's birthday, he spent $200,000 to charter a boat called Amnesia.
"I remember an Amnesia," Lay said, to the laughter of some jurors. "I think it was appropriately named."
Yes, Ken, we sure would like to forget about YOU.
[I]n January 2001, for his wife's birthday, he spent $200,000 to charter a boat called Amnesia.
"I remember an Amnesia," Lay said, to the laughter of some jurors. "I think it was appropriately named."
Yes, Ken, we sure would like to forget about YOU.
"The word 'arrested,' this is semantics," the conservative commentator said of his booking Friday. "This was all arranged in advance. I was voluntarily processed."
The word "druggie," this is semantics. I was merely taking PAIN RELIEVERS.
Hey ya like my snazzy smile?
The word "druggie," this is semantics. I was merely taking PAIN RELIEVERS.
Hey ya like my snazzy smile?
Lawmakers deal with voter anger over 'pork' Panel received 21,863 earmark requests from representatives, down from 34,687.
Am I supposed to be impressed? That's still over 50 per Congressional district!
Am I supposed to be impressed? That's still over 50 per Congressional district!
If the Lord God had given us $60 million we think we'd find better places to put it than in the gaping, all-consuming maw of gambling, but no one ever said John Daly was intelligent.
Then again, his RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-printed "book" is now up to 75 on Amazon.com, so maybe he isn't so stupid to gamble.
Then again, his RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-printed "book" is now up to 75 on Amazon.com, so maybe he isn't so stupid to gamble.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Iran denounced the United States on Monday for contemplating possible nuclear strikes against Iranian targets and urged the United Nations to take urgent action against what it called a dangerous violation of international law.
Ten thousand Rudy Vallees would have trouble when CURLEY's [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] STOOGES become THE WORLD'S BIGGEST MEGAPHONE.
In a letter to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan obtained by The Associated Press....
THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS AGREES!
Ten thousand Rudy Vallees would have trouble when CURLEY's [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] STOOGES become THE WORLD'S BIGGEST MEGAPHONE.
In a letter to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan obtained by The Associated Press....
THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS AGREES!
While PREENING IDIOTS like THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY create a strong toxic stench across the land, let us remember the unknown who persevere through catastrophes like terminal cancer, and who can live each day with bravery and strength, qualities missing from ERIC and the people he hectored.
Jake of Stale.com may edit PEOPLE NEWSRAG!
ONNNNNNNNN-WARRRRRRRRRRRRD LIIIIIIIIBERALLLLLLLL SOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDIERRRRRRRRRRRRRS....
(Via the usual Romy, who was very excited too)
ONNNNNNNNN-WARRRRRRRRRRRRD LIIIIIIIIBERALLLLLLLL SOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDIERRRRRRRRRRRRRS....
(Via the usual Romy, who was very excited too)
Wow! Miss MoneyPenny of the Big C MOVES THE MARKETS!
You feeling misunderstood, Ben? Talk like THE WIZARD.
You feeling misunderstood, Ben? Talk like THE WIZARD.
Eulogy for a studio:
"People reacted to 'Tomcats' with derision, saying, 'You had creative freedom and this is what you made?'..."
Yes, this is what THE CONSPIRACY makes.
"People reacted to 'Tomcats' with derision, saying, 'You had creative freedom and this is what you made?'..."
Yes, this is what THE CONSPIRACY makes.
Prior to United's release, studio tracking surveys showed a high percentage of movie patrons were "definitely not interested" in seeing it.
$11.5 million divided by, oh, $9 a ticket is about 1.3 million people. Out of 300 million I'd say that's on the mark.
Some analysts were unimpressed, however, pointing out that the film had received a ton of free publicity and positive reviews and as a result ought to have performed better than it did.
We've said it before, we'll say it again: a ton of free publicity and positive reviews are nothing with a biz whose specialty is junk.
How many people does it take to write a press release?
$11.5 million divided by, oh, $9 a ticket is about 1.3 million people. Out of 300 million I'd say that's on the mark.
Some analysts were unimpressed, however, pointing out that the film had received a ton of free publicity and positive reviews and as a result ought to have performed better than it did.
We've said it before, we'll say it again: a ton of free publicity and positive reviews are nothing with a biz whose specialty is junk.
How many people does it take to write a press release?
NRO has a KUDLOW MOMENT! It cluttered up its site so it could sell more ads. We can't blame them, but who in his right mind would want to spend money on THE CORNER?
Time for THE PLANK!
Time for THE PLANK!
So the Bodacious Airhead got the Nine Fingers to agree with her. So what? It's simply a matter of venues -- and the lunatical NINTH CIRCUIT.
Now let's see if the golddigger wins.
Now let's see if the golddigger wins.
I was too busy today to notice that but for WaPost I wouldn't get any hits. Well, at least I can get them from somebody. Now why can't other news Web sites be similarly enlightened and open themselves up to blog posts?
Technorati, though, is even more arbitrary and capricious than G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE. A deal in the offing?
Technorati, though, is even more arbitrary and capricious than G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE. A deal in the offing?
Well might the Napoleon of jurisprudence and the Sheridan of [C]RAP look "sheepish." The Beltway specializes in compromising positions, all the more so when the people involved are so easily compromised.