THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Tuesday, August 07, 2007
I've long thought this the con-SER-va-tive ideal: five or six superrich people like Carlos Slim, and the rest poor -- a banana republican's dream. Of course con-SER-va-tives wouldn't suffer too much, they, like GEKKO KUDLOW and DOW 36,000, having done everything they can to cuddle up to the superrich's philosophy, which too often seems to be the bigger we are the harder the little guy falls. Ah, but that's life -- when you're superrich.
HURRAH FOR HILLARY!!!!! [Rich Lowry]
...for saying at the Kos convention what John McCain has never seemed really to want to understand: lobbyists represent real people and their interests in Washington. [Overemphasis added]
...like the real big-pharma people and the real big-oil people and the real banking people and the real insurance people and the real Wall Street people and the real broadcasting people and the....
...for saying at the Kos convention what John McCain has never seemed really to want to understand: lobbyists represent real people and their interests in Washington. [Overemphasis added]
...like the real big-pharma people and the real big-oil people and the real banking people and the real insurance people and the real Wall Street people and the real broadcasting people and the....
"12 U.S. SENATORS ARE SPACE ALIENS!"
In 1999, somebody taped that WWN story to a wall in the Senate press gallery, where it amused the press corps, although some scribes griped that the paper had underestimated the number of aliens in the Senate by at least three or four.
Farewell, Weekly World News. Now, alas, we can get our laughable fictions on the Web.
In 1999, somebody taped that WWN story to a wall in the Senate press gallery, where it amused the press corps, although some scribes griped that the paper had underestimated the number of aliens in the Senate by at least three or four.
Farewell, Weekly World News. Now, alas, we can get our laughable fictions on the Web.
Here's another outfit that bulked itself up to produce junk television that's talking of divestitures: the former food operations of ALTRIA MOTIVE.
Why do we need big consumer-products firms? And how can anyone say their main purpose isn't to finance junk television on our dime?
Why do we need big consumer-products firms? And how can anyone say their main purpose isn't to finance junk television on our dime?
The industry needs to introduce a new platform that delivers higher quality and more value to consumers than the compact disc, Bronfman said.
The industry needs to start selling MUSIC, Junior.
The industry needs to start selling MUSIC, Junior.
OH oh, LEGENDARY WELCH says Mr. "Le Company, C'est Moi" is the best man for Chrysler!
Goodbye, jobs!
By the way, any relation to LEGENDARY -- like John "Amanuensis" Byrne?
Goodbye, jobs!
By the way, any relation to LEGENDARY -- like John "Amanuensis" Byrne?
RIP TIMESREJECT! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Frank Rich returns from the dead! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Via the usual Romy)
Frank Rich returns from the dead! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Via the usual Romy)
Monday, August 06, 2007
Why am I supposed to know who Fake Steve is and why am I supposed to care?
All this means is a book deal and he can never top himself.
(Via ASSPress)
All this means is a book deal and he can never top himself.
(Via ASSPress)
Romy further outdoes himself:
Should newspapers run letters that aren't factually accurate?
No. Should newspapers run stories that aren't factually accurate? Oh. They have an excuse. And apparently the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's ombudspoop agrees the letters don't have to be any more accurate than the stories. Great!
Should newspapers run letters that aren't factually accurate?
No. Should newspapers run stories that aren't factually accurate? Oh. They have an excuse. And apparently the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's ombudspoop agrees the letters don't have to be any more accurate than the stories. Great!
Is it me or is there too much of this "Mission Accomplished" business? Why not a plain old ordinary logo? Why does everything have to be stage-managed? Doesn't even the slightest stage-managing tip the public off that something may not be kosher?
And how do we know The New Team won't be like the same old New Teams from before?
Richardson plans to unveil universal health care plan Tuesday
Also tomorrow, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton plans a "major policy address."
Watch out! Politicians pandering!
Also tomorrow, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton plans a "major policy address."
Watch out! Politicians pandering!
Today's Romy's day to blow a gasket. FIRST:
J-PROF SEES WSJ LOOKING LIKE USA TODAY IN FIVE YEARS!!!!! [Overemphasis added]
Ten years ago it was entirely black and white, with its "etchings." The USAOKAY!!!!! influence started long before THE FORCE OF EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. Besides, I thought you guys thought USAOKAY!!!!! had become a GREAT NEWSPAPER -- especially after its NSA STUNT.
SECOND:
MURDOCH'S BUSINESS HAS THE BIGGEST POTENTIAL TO CORRUPT WSJ!!!!! [Overemphasis added]
Or as this j-prof suggests:
The Journal doesn't need a blue-ribbon panel of grandees, each paid $100,000 a year to attend quarterly meetings. It needs a wholly independent newsroom Conflicts Committee consisting of Journal staffers chosen by their peers, who would investigate staff complaints about coverage that they believe was improperly inclined on News Corp.'s behalf -- and who would publish their findings on a public website outside of managerial control.
In other words, it needs a MINNESOTA NEWS COUNCIL. It needs a BODY of OMBUDSPOOPS. It needs all the trappings of ethics fig leaves that make the public despise the biz even more. And pray tell what of other papers that aren't as holy as the JOURNALS, that have managed to corrupt themselves WITHOUT SLIME? Please Eddie, stop with the ethics.
And third, Romy mopes over the celebrity ad (read "interview"), and as he says, it "may be a bankrupted form, 'but it's still worth saving.'" Only a hack would say something bankrupt is worth saving, which may explain why the Vatican of news organizations, with its gods of biznews, could not save Dow Jones.
J-PROF SEES WSJ LOOKING LIKE USA TODAY IN FIVE YEARS!!!!! [Overemphasis added]
Ten years ago it was entirely black and white, with its "etchings." The USAOKAY!!!!! influence started long before THE FORCE OF EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. Besides, I thought you guys thought USAOKAY!!!!! had become a GREAT NEWSPAPER -- especially after its NSA STUNT.
SECOND:
MURDOCH'S BUSINESS HAS THE BIGGEST POTENTIAL TO CORRUPT WSJ!!!!! [Overemphasis added]
Or as this j-prof suggests:
The Journal doesn't need a blue-ribbon panel of grandees, each paid $100,000 a year to attend quarterly meetings. It needs a wholly independent newsroom Conflicts Committee consisting of Journal staffers chosen by their peers, who would investigate staff complaints about coverage that they believe was improperly inclined on News Corp.'s behalf -- and who would publish their findings on a public website outside of managerial control.
In other words, it needs a MINNESOTA NEWS COUNCIL. It needs a BODY of OMBUDSPOOPS. It needs all the trappings of ethics fig leaves that make the public despise the biz even more. And pray tell what of other papers that aren't as holy as the JOURNALS, that have managed to corrupt themselves WITHOUT SLIME? Please Eddie, stop with the ethics.
And third, Romy mopes over the celebrity ad (read "interview"), and as he says, it "may be a bankrupted form, 'but it's still worth saving.'" Only a hack would say something bankrupt is worth saving, which may explain why the Vatican of news organizations, with its gods of biznews, could not save Dow Jones.
Rudy and the Religious Nuts: His Strange Free Pass [Front-page link]
And who might these religious nuts be? People we disagree with? I'm sure you could find plenty of religious nuts you agree with. What is it with pundits and their employers that makes them throw these cheap crybaby tantrums?
And who might these religious nuts be? People we disagree with? I'm sure you could find plenty of religious nuts you agree with. What is it with pundits and their employers that makes them throw these cheap crybaby tantrums?
"The problems started out small, but it has [sic] grown into a tsunami," a financial strategist at Punk, Ziegel & Co., Richard Bove, said. "Over the next few days, large financial institutions are going to have to prove to lenders that their balance sheets are solid."
Banks that will have to calm investors' fears include Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, and Goldman Sachs. [Emphasis added]
Banks? Those are banks? Why are these banks? How did they become banks? And if they can become banks can't anyone become banks?
Banks that will have to calm investors' fears include Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, and Goldman Sachs. [Emphasis added]
Banks? Those are banks? Why are these banks? How did they become banks? And if they can become banks can't anyone become banks?
Opening Sentence of the Week:
Don Imus has a cockroach’s knack for survival.
Uh, how apt. Skipping to page 4 (which should prove how over-written many features are, especially in ADAM!!!!!'s newly resurrected award-winning masterpiece) we learn he has zillions of high-mucky-muck friends rooting for him to come back (and no doubt he and they helped engineer this -- article), and we've no doubt cockroach COULD (and probably will) come back, along with his preening coterie of skunk-smelling sycophants -- but there's always a chance he mightn't, leaving him with his settlement with SUMNER, and his alcoholic memories.
Don Imus has a cockroach’s knack for survival.
Uh, how apt. Skipping to page 4 (which should prove how over-written many features are, especially in ADAM!!!!!'s newly resurrected award-winning masterpiece) we learn he has zillions of high-mucky-muck friends rooting for him to come back (and no doubt he and they helped engineer this -- article), and we've no doubt cockroach COULD (and probably will) come back, along with his preening coterie of skunk-smelling sycophants -- but there's always a chance he mightn't, leaving him with his settlement with SUMNER, and his alcoholic memories.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Here's the next big shakedo -- means of furthering the noble cause of higher education: franchised universities!
"We identified that that strongest growth of population in 18-year-olds will be in California, Texas and Florida," Papadakis said.
"So we started thinking about how to export our brand to another state." [Emphasis added]
Colleges, Mickey D's -- what's the diff?
Especially after an education.
(Via Chronicle.com)
"We identified that that strongest growth of population in 18-year-olds will be in California, Texas and Florida," Papadakis said.
"So we started thinking about how to export our brand to another state." [Emphasis added]
Colleges, Mickey D's -- what's the diff?
Especially after an education.
(Via Chronicle.com)
PROGRESS: The Paper of Mencken informs us the heirs and assigns of the "Rrrrrrrrrrrenaissance Man of Rrrrrrrrrrock" are furthering his legacy with note-for-note (or rather, noise-for-noise) performances of his masterworks, meaning our culture's in such a dire state even bad music is in the past.
Whoops! I think we got the wrong Renaissance man!
P. S.
AIDS IS A CIA PLOT!!!!!!!!!! (Michelangelonian overemphasis added)
Further P. S. from this B. S.
"My music," he said, "makes the mind think."
Excluding, it would appear, his.
It would appear also that The Paper of Mencken invented a quote -- we couldn't find any reference to this Renaissance Man in the TWXSTERS' archives, and we couldn't find it in Google. Count us surprised.
Whoops! I think we got the wrong Renaissance man!
P. S.
AIDS IS A CIA PLOT!!!!!!!!!! (Michelangelonian overemphasis added)
Further P. S. from this B. S.
"My music," he said, "makes the mind think."
Excluding, it would appear, his.
It would appear also that The Paper of Mencken invented a quote -- we couldn't find any reference to this Renaissance Man in the TWXSTERS' archives, and we couldn't find it in Google. Count us surprised.
Elsewhere from the weird, wacky and wonderful ASSPress, Americ -- the WORLD'S LEADING NEWS ORGANIZATION, more of that heavy movie lifting and straining (especially around the bowels) and Gary admits attendance is up only "1.42 percent"?
And why doesn't he quote PAUL DRECK as he did before? Isn't that a fireable offense at ASSPress?
And why doesn't he quote PAUL DRECK as he did before? Isn't that a fireable offense at ASSPress?
We understand why the Japanese are upset at our a-bombings, or at the minister who called them justified; but what infuriates us is that hacks will use reporting like this, however well-meaning its phrasing, to call themselves "international", much as conglomerates call themselves "international"; and as we said before, "Any big business that calls itself 'international' gives itself carte blanche to commit treason." That goes for bigmedia too.
Meantime Useless News takes more time out between its Useless college rankings to state 1957 changed America, the sort of thing newsrag hacks will do when they have no lists to produce, and they're in third place and not budging.
The obvious answer to stunt accidents is, why use stunt men? If CGI can imitate space and ancient history why can't it imitate actors? Indeed with all the awesome new stars like LINDSAY coming up it's the LEAST THE CONSPIRACY can do.
JonBoy's developed a new twist: He screams THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!! in a heavily ironic way. I wouldn't try gags like that more often Jon -- yes, they elevate you in ST. WARREN's Heaven, but they might decline you in the CIRC. Oh, I forgot. You're subscribed to by three million automatically renewing coffee tables.
Alas, all isn't well on the LAST PAGE of the story:
Look for the next round of debate to center on what Americans are willing to pay and do to stave off the worst of global warming. So far the answer seems to be, not much. The NEWSWEEK Poll finds less than half in favor of requiring high-mileage cars or energy-efficient appliances and buildings.
DAMMIT JonBoy, we're going to have to work harder to reduce our cir -- energy consumption!
That JonBoy realizes there may be a limit to insulting his readers' intelligence is evident in that his irony doesn't front-cover the international editions; these he devotes to all the new ugly buildings going up in Beijing -- a good leadoff for our synergistic GAMES coverage. Presumably the huge poisonous clouds China belches into the air are -- non global-warming producing. They certainly are cover-fawn producing.
This isn't as bad as L'AFFAIRE LEIBOVITZ, but a faint globally-warming smell of cow flatulence is there.
Alas, all isn't well on the LAST PAGE of the story:
Look for the next round of debate to center on what Americans are willing to pay and do to stave off the worst of global warming. So far the answer seems to be, not much. The NEWSWEEK Poll finds less than half in favor of requiring high-mileage cars or energy-efficient appliances and buildings.
DAMMIT JonBoy, we're going to have to work harder to reduce our cir -- energy consumption!
That JonBoy realizes there may be a limit to insulting his readers' intelligence is evident in that his irony doesn't front-cover the international editions; these he devotes to all the new ugly buildings going up in Beijing -- a good leadoff for our synergistic GAMES coverage. Presumably the huge poisonous clouds China belches into the air are -- non global-warming producing. They certainly are cover-fawn producing.
This isn't as bad as L'AFFAIRE LEIBOVITZ, but a faint globally-warming smell of cow flatulence is there.
I was going to type ASTERISK! but I figured thousands of others did the same thing, so we'll wait until BARRY* BREAKS* the RECORD*.
Oh well, may as well do it anyway:
ASTERISK!
Oh well, may as well do it anyway:
ASTERISK!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
"I won't meddle any more than Arthur Sulzberger does."
But when the Lord God Pinch meddles we call it P-Ulitzer Prize-winning. When SLIME meddles we call it EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.
I don't like defending that barbarian but faced with a collective news-hack nervous breakdown one has no choice. Hell I'm almost starting to admire him.
But when the Lord God Pinch meddles we call it P-Ulitzer Prize-winning. When SLIME meddles we call it EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.
I don't like defending that barbarian but faced with a collective news-hack nervous breakdown one has no choice. Hell I'm almost starting to admire him.
Consumer-products firms have grown so big and bloated in the cause of financing junk television that now the MORONS in Cincinnati are talking about divestitures -- like Duracell, a freebie which came with the razor unit that was supposed to make our profit zoom a zillion percent, and Folgers, the most heavily overadvertised coffee brand ever. Perhaps there is a limit to how much we can be told to buy, and how much we can endure all the excuses to finance junk media.
Oh shut up, MR. BRIDGE TO NOWHERE:
The committee's former chairman, Alaska Republican Don Young, noted that he had sought $375 billion in the last six-year transportation bill, but Congress had to settle for about $90 billion less because of opposition from the Bush administration [sic]
"I don't do this often when I say 'I told you so,'" said Young, suggesting that Congress pass a tax to help rebuild bridges so that people don't face a "potential death threat."
"Yes, fund this problem with a tax," he said. "May the sky not fall on me."
Except with dollar bills.
The committee's former chairman, Alaska Republican Don Young, noted that he had sought $375 billion in the last six-year transportation bill, but Congress had to settle for about $90 billion less because of opposition from the Bush administration [sic]
"I don't do this often when I say 'I told you so,'" said Young, suggesting that Congress pass a tax to help rebuild bridges so that people don't face a "potential death threat."
"Yes, fund this problem with a tax," he said. "May the sky not fall on me."
Except with dollar bills.
As the NBA grapples with a betting scandal, tennis must now confront a potential gambling scam of its own. Officials on Friday were investigating suspicious betting patterns on a match involving top-seeded Nikolay Davydenko of Russia, who retired with an injury against a low-ranked opponent at an ATP tournament in Poland.
Betting? TENNIS?!? Some people have too much money on their hands.
Then again, it was a Russian player, and Russians seem to be coming up with too many ways of making money, most of them illegal.
Betting? TENNIS?!? Some people have too much money on their hands.
Then again, it was a Russian player, and Russians seem to be coming up with too many ways of making money, most of them illegal.
Today the entire news biz woke up in the shape of a pretzel when it learned an Oakland editor was murdered by a worker at a place called Your Black M----M Bakery.
This is truly devastating. We thought I---M was a Religion of Peace!
Late Black M----m patriarch Yusuf Bey founded the bakery four decades ago. He built the organization on ideals of black empowerment, respect and self-reliance. In recent years, the group has been tied to homicides, racism, sexual assaults on young girls and vandalism. [Self-censorship in the name of the Religion of Peace added]
Sounds like the group does one hell of a lot of preaching!
(Via a rare Saturday Romy, and we can bet he's contorted too)
This is truly devastating. We thought I---M was a Religion of Peace!
Late Black M----m patriarch Yusuf Bey founded the bakery four decades ago. He built the organization on ideals of black empowerment, respect and self-reliance. In recent years, the group has been tied to homicides, racism, sexual assaults on young girls and vandalism. [Self-censorship in the name of the Religion of Peace added]
Sounds like the group does one hell of a lot of preaching!
(Via a rare Saturday Romy, and we can bet he's contorted too)
The lifestyles of the rich and weird:
Shock rocker Marilyn Manson is being sued by a bandmate for using their earnings to buy Nazi paraphernalia, African masks made of human skin, the full skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl – and ex Dita Von Teese's $150,000 engagement ring.
I like that -- AND!
Shock rocker Marilyn Manson is being sued by a bandmate for using their earnings to buy Nazi paraphernalia, African masks made of human skin, the full skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl – and ex Dita Von Teese's $150,000 engagement ring.
I like that -- AND!
Friday, August 03, 2007
When there's a disaster, the companies homeowners count on to protect them from financial ruin routinely pay less than what policies promise.
Insurers often pay 30-60 percent of the cost of rebuilding a damaged home -- even when carriers assure homeowners they're fully covered, thousands of complaints with state insurance departments and civil court cases show....
The insurance companies routinely refuse to pay market prices for homes and replacement contents, they use computer programs to cut payouts, they change policy coverage with no clear explanation, they ignore or alter engineering reports, and they sometimes ask their adjusters to lie to customers, court records and interviews with former employees and state regulators show.
You don't suppose that's why ST. WARREN...naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
``It's despicable not to make good-faith offers to everybody,'' says Robert Hunter, who was Texas insurance commissioner from 1993 to 1995 and is now insurance director at the Washington-based Consumer Federation of America.
``Money managers have taken over this whole industry,'' Hunter says.
ST. WARREN has taken over the industry.
Insurers often pay 30-60 percent of the cost of rebuilding a damaged home -- even when carriers assure homeowners they're fully covered, thousands of complaints with state insurance departments and civil court cases show....
The insurance companies routinely refuse to pay market prices for homes and replacement contents, they use computer programs to cut payouts, they change policy coverage with no clear explanation, they ignore or alter engineering reports, and they sometimes ask their adjusters to lie to customers, court records and interviews with former employees and state regulators show.
You don't suppose that's why ST. WARREN...naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
``It's despicable not to make good-faith offers to everybody,'' says Robert Hunter, who was Texas insurance commissioner from 1993 to 1995 and is now insurance director at the Washington-based Consumer Federation of America.
``Money managers have taken over this whole industry,'' Hunter says.
ST. WARREN has taken over the industry.
I mean there must be news someplace. After all, when Massachusetts fires its chief medical examiner and two other top officials for gross malfeasance something must be going on somewhere. Right?
ASSPress self-serving raise-the-white-flag Mea Culpa of the Week:
Poll: Too Much Celeb Scandal Coverage
Well it's that or too much "RADICAL REPUBLICAN!!!!!!!!!!" coverage. I suspect we see the former because of fear over the latter. What's the difference?
Remember the name: MATTHEW LEE. He's going FAR at ASSPress!
P. S. Is B. S. DEFENDER auditioning as the next PERFESSER THOMPSON?
Poll: Too Much Celeb Scandal Coverage
Well it's that or too much "RADICAL REPUBLICAN!!!!!!!!!!" coverage. I suspect we see the former because of fear over the latter. What's the difference?
Remember the name: MATTHEW LEE. He's going FAR at ASSPress!
P. S. Is B. S. DEFENDER auditioning as the next PERFESSER THOMPSON?
Now on my Yahoo! Mail home page:
Yahoo! News: Top Stories
NO COMMENT.
Yahoo! News: Top Stories
NO COMMENT.
This should please GEK and company -- the Feds may rescue FREE EN-TER-PRISE from its housing mistake!
A bailout is communistic except when you're getting bailed out.
A bailout is communistic except when you're getting bailed out.
Serious movie standards aren't necessarily required in an entertainment like "Underdog." Still, as with most movies, it's frustrating to watch Hollywood undercut the intelligence of its target audience.
You mean with a negative IQ?
You mean with a negative IQ?
GEKKO, who no doubt holds MISCHIEVIOUS NEWS HACKS to blame for the housing bust, and who certainly believes Dick "Nine Digits" Grasso was vastly underpaid -- that might appear on his tombstone -- insists
IT AIN'T 1929!!!!!!!!!!
[overemphasis added]
The 10 largest [home] builders together had revenues of $98.8 billion last year, up from only $9.3 billion in 1992.
Okay Gek -- what year is it?
IT AIN'T 1929!!!!!!!!!!
[overemphasis added]
The 10 largest [home] builders together had revenues of $98.8 billion last year, up from only $9.3 billion in 1992.
Okay Gek -- what year is it?
A Submarine? A Diving Capsule? What Was It Doing in NYC River?
That might depend upon the occupants' ethnic background.
That might depend upon the occupants' ethnic background.
Heck JFK Lincoln shows his leadership and Pakistan's foreign minister says he's "very irresponsible."
Count on the Paks to say the right thing for the wrong reasons.
Count on the Paks to say the right thing for the wrong reasons.
The latest crying jag from the hacks over SLIME:
Slate | Fortune
Daniel Gross figures it's not unreasonable to assume that Rupert Murdoch was forced to pay somewhere between $760 million and $1.22 billion more for Dow Jones just because of his reputation.
Or maybe He didn't want to get into a bidding war, which He might have faced had He bid between $760 million and $1.22 billion less.
Slate | Fortune
Daniel Gross figures it's not unreasonable to assume that Rupert Murdoch was forced to pay somewhere between $760 million and $1.22 billion more for Dow Jones just because of his reputation.
Or maybe He didn't want to get into a bidding war, which He might have faced had He bid between $760 million and $1.22 billion less.
In Branson East the money people prepare another ceremonial bonfire with their greenbacks, to send smoke signals to the gods so that KERNGERSHWIN FRANKENSTEIN's latest masterwork will be the Big B's greatest hit. But there seems to be a drawback: KERNGERSHWIN is getting a HUGE percentage of the receipts, as befits a genius. And so...
"Basically, you're investing so that Mel Brooks can make a lot of money."
But isn't that what GENIUS is all about?
PLUS there's this good news:
Initially, there weren't going to be many investors. Brooks and [Robert F. "ELVIS!"] Sillerman, who created the entertainment company SFX, were going to finance the show pretty much on their own.
But in the last few weeks, Sillerman's quietly been trying to unload some of his investment, sources say. He's told people in the theater that he's surprised at how expensive the production has become.
But at least two potential backers who've crunched the numbers have taken a pass, theater sources say.
They probably came across the clause in the papers called "Death or Insanity of Investors" and realized the insanity part kicks in when you invest in "Young Frankenstein."
But think of the ego boost you get when you bankroll the GREATEST AHT FOHM EVAH KNOWN -- on BRANSON EAST -- even in a MENTAL HOSPITAL!
"Basically, you're investing so that Mel Brooks can make a lot of money."
But isn't that what GENIUS is all about?
PLUS there's this good news:
Initially, there weren't going to be many investors. Brooks and [Robert F. "ELVIS!"] Sillerman, who created the entertainment company SFX, were going to finance the show pretty much on their own.
But in the last few weeks, Sillerman's quietly been trying to unload some of his investment, sources say. He's told people in the theater that he's surprised at how expensive the production has become.
But at least two potential backers who've crunched the numbers have taken a pass, theater sources say.
They probably came across the clause in the papers called "Death or Insanity of Investors" and realized the insanity part kicks in when you invest in "Young Frankenstein."
But think of the ego boost you get when you bankroll the GREATEST AHT FOHM EVAH KNOWN -- on BRANSON EAST -- even in a MENTAL HOSPITAL!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
If these infernal hacks did as much real reporting as they're intent on uncovering every last reason to bolt the JOURNALS' barn door after the horse has galloped off with SLIME in the saddle....
And if these infernal hacks did as much real reporting as they're intent on uncovering every last reason to bolt the JOURNALS' barn door after the horse has galloped off with SLIME in the saddle might some of their colleagues still have the JOBS they're always complaining these FORCES OF EVIL will eliminate?
Sorry to be so long-winded but so are the hacks.
(Via the usual ROMY, who still needs his meds)
And if these infernal hacks did as much real reporting as they're intent on uncovering every last reason to bolt the JOURNALS' barn door after the horse has galloped off with SLIME in the saddle might some of their colleagues still have the JOBS they're always complaining these FORCES OF EVIL will eliminate?
Sorry to be so long-winded but so are the hacks.
(Via the usual ROMY, who still needs his meds)
SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX is in mourning because his kind of Republican is retiring.
Look, we want civility in Congress (or rather decency; civility conjures up visions of Sen. Ossified Kleagle and Sen. Mickey Mouse Protection Act doing something...indecent), and we respect Rep. LaHood, but he worked at the feet of Bob Michel, who was willing to lose rather than risk a fight.
Is ANYONE in this biz more predictable than SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX?
Look, we want civility in Congress (or rather decency; civility conjures up visions of Sen. Ossified Kleagle and Sen. Mickey Mouse Protection Act doing something...indecent), and we respect Rep. LaHood, but he worked at the feet of Bob Michel, who was willing to lose rather than risk a fight.
Is ANYONE in this biz more predictable than SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX?
Sen. Overcomb wants Democrats to "AVOID" SLIME!!!!!!!!!!
TRANSLATION: He's mad He's given to HILLARY.
TRANSLATION: He's mad He's given to HILLARY.
Microsoft To Offer Free, Ad-Supported Version Of Works
This can't be good news for the Bugmeister, as it validates the notion that people pay too much for His software, and He's going up against the Mountain View boys with arguably an inferior product. But Bug's hooked on those Office revenues, so He'll probably not go much further -- though He may have to.
This can't be good news for the Bugmeister, as it validates the notion that people pay too much for His software, and He's going up against the Mountain View boys with arguably an inferior product. But Bug's hooked on those Office revenues, so He'll probably not go much further -- though He may have to.
CHINA'S REVENGE: How many products have had to be recalled because manufacturers were too lazy or greedy to make them here? And the People's Republic gets the ultimate revenge -- through our health.
TRANSLATION: 1. The Big C challenges SLIME to a battle of sycophants. 2. Any network that's so pleasing to CEOs isn't worth watching.
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
PROGRESS:
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz had one down the street from Oakridge. Zeppo Marx, the brother of Groucho, Harpo and Chico, owned one in Northridge. So did actor William Holden and actress Janet Gaynor. Studio mogul Harry Warner had a working ranch in Woodland Hills that is now Warner Center.
As development spread across the Valley floor, the Hollywood ranchos disappeared one by one....
"The Oakie house is one of the last vestiges of the San Fernando Valley's personal connection to the movie industry," said City Councilman Greig Smith, who represents the Chatsworth and Northridge areas. "James Cagney's ranch is gone. Lucy and Desi's is gone. Roy Rogers and Dale Evans' is gone."
And what's left is sprawl, and ticky-tacky, and no-names.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz had one down the street from Oakridge. Zeppo Marx, the brother of Groucho, Harpo and Chico, owned one in Northridge. So did actor William Holden and actress Janet Gaynor. Studio mogul Harry Warner had a working ranch in Woodland Hills that is now Warner Center.
As development spread across the Valley floor, the Hollywood ranchos disappeared one by one....
"The Oakie house is one of the last vestiges of the San Fernando Valley's personal connection to the movie industry," said City Councilman Greig Smith, who represents the Chatsworth and Northridge areas. "James Cagney's ranch is gone. Lucy and Desi's is gone. Roy Rogers and Dale Evans' is gone."
And what's left is sprawl, and ticky-tacky, and no-names.
Thankfully, it wasn't worse. We'd guess a lot of the cars simply fell flat atop the roadbed. We'd further guess the fault lay more in the original construction than anything else, although a symphony of jackhammers and the long hard haul of heavy trucks couldn't have helped.
I see the bridge also fell on several railroad cars. Think if they'd been filled with chemicals, or inflammables, or gas. Yes, it could have been a lot worse.
I see the bridge also fell on several railroad cars. Think if they'd been filled with chemicals, or inflammables, or gas. Yes, it could have been a lot worse.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Our "leaders" will dream up an instant answer to a calamity like this: spending trillions more on "infrastructure" -- much of which will be burned on defective schemes like the Big Dig, or whatever our leaders' friends can get their grubby hands on.
It is bad enough that the hacks enforce a national speech code on the public, but worse is the one they enforce on themselves, where a man can face banishment from the profession for life for saying something stupid. We do not defend this hack's attempt at the "honest" banter so prevalent among sport's FRED FLINTSTONES (although we think we get what we think he wanted to say, that Mr. Dog Executioner would have been treated more leniently if he'd raped a woman, which may not be entirely unsound thinking; then again we wouldn't expect a hack to phrase his way out of a thimble), but this biz can't go on defending its much vaunted First Amendment rights when it's so intent on constructing impenetrable walls around them.
TRANSLATION: Biznews is "sexy" because it allows news hacks a new kind of excuse to look for work.
(Via the usual Romy -- and when does Poynter.org put up a want-ad section just for the JOURNALSISTS?)
(Via the usual Romy -- and when does Poynter.org put up a want-ad section just for the JOURNALSISTS?)
Here comes the cavalry! THE FEDS CHARGE TO THE RESCUE!!!!!
1. The same liberals who'd pooh-pooh the FCC for its censorship seem mighty at home when an FCC commissioner suggests targeting SLIME. 2. What does the FCC have to do with newsprint? Dow Jones owns no broadcast properties that we know of. Maybe the antitrust guys -- but how much is He buying?
We're not Glibertarians, but SLIME overpaying should be regulation enough.
1. The same liberals who'd pooh-pooh the FCC for its censorship seem mighty at home when an FCC commissioner suggests targeting SLIME. 2. What does the FCC have to do with newsprint? Dow Jones owns no broadcast properties that we know of. Maybe the antitrust guys -- but how much is He buying?
We're not Glibertarians, but SLIME overpaying should be regulation enough.
THE CHASE* continues -- in LALALAND:
A Bonds lookalike escorted by a man dressed as Bonds’ incarcerated trainer, Greg Anderson, made quite the entrance to their third-row seats behind home plate right when Bonds was coming up to bat in the first. Scott Keighley, a 47-year-old general contractor, carried an extra-large makeshift syringe that security confiscated.
His son, 22-year-old Scott Jr., sported a full gray Giants’ road uniform and wore brown makeup on his face and over a swim cap to appear as a black man — and posed for many photos. He waited outside the Giants’ clubhouse postgame. They had a 3-foot asterisk taken away at the gate.
A Bonds lookalike escorted by a man dressed as Bonds’ incarcerated trainer, Greg Anderson, made quite the entrance to their third-row seats behind home plate right when Bonds was coming up to bat in the first. Scott Keighley, a 47-year-old general contractor, carried an extra-large makeshift syringe that security confiscated.
His son, 22-year-old Scott Jr., sported a full gray Giants’ road uniform and wore brown makeup on his face and over a swim cap to appear as a black man — and posed for many photos. He waited outside the Giants’ clubhouse postgame. They had a 3-foot asterisk taken away at the gate.
JFK Lincoln might send soldiers to Pakistan because he might speak to Fidel, Nukeman, etc.
Actually this is a brilliant strategy: he can engage in "police action" while going after terrorists while speaking to terrorists. Whether this is brilliant policy remains to be seen.
Despite resembling children presidential candidates should be neither seen nor heard.
P. S. at 8:52 p. m. Anonymous reminds us why he should have stuck with fiction -- and really, he's still quite good at it.
Actually this is a brilliant strategy: he can engage in "police action" while going after terrorists while speaking to terrorists. Whether this is brilliant policy remains to be seen.
Despite resembling children presidential candidates should be neither seen nor heard.
P. S. at 8:52 p. m. Anonymous reminds us why he should have stuck with fiction -- and really, he's still quite good at it.
Laser printers are hazardous as cigarettes?
When do they get a Surgeon General's warning?
Better still, when can someone create a panic that will make it harder to print things?
When do they get a Surgeon General's warning?
Better still, when can someone create a panic that will make it harder to print things?
I’ll get the predictable ridicule for praising Rush today.
We COULD say something about MS. TRAVERS but we figured we've said enough.
We COULD say something about MS. TRAVERS but we figured we've said enough.
TODAY IN MEDIA BISTRO:
Dow Jones Deal Gives Murdoch a Coveted Prize (NYT)
Rupert Murdoch finally won his long-coveted prize yesterday, gaining enough support from the deeply divided Bancroft family to buy Dow Jones & Company, publisher of The Wall Street Journal and one of the world's most respected news sources, for $5 billion. Dow Jones said early today that the companies had signed a definitive merger agreement after the boards of both companies voted last night. WSJ Publisher's Note: Readers should expect what they have always expected from the Journal, writes Gordon Crovitz. In an era when reliable, accurate and knowledgeable business news and information is more valuable than ever, the highest standards are good journalism and good business. NYO: Murdoch's triumphal night. NYO: It's not easy to get an interview with Rupert Murdoch. But if you do, it's easy to get a great one. E&P: Union at Dow Jones slams Murdoch victory. NYT: In the end, News Corp's capture of Dow Jones can be boiled down to one simple fact: Murdoch wanted it more, writes David Carr. E&P: Response from around the media to Murdoch's victory. HuffPo: News Corp's willingness to pay a large premium for Dow Jones is an acknowledgment that what the Journal does is important. But it is also a confirmation that resources need to be leveraged across mediums, writes analyst Lauren Fine Rich. MSNBC: Murdoch will tarnish a journalistic jewel, writes David Sweet. AJR: There has been a sense of inevitability about the dénouement of the Bancroft Family Soap Opera, writes Rem Rieder. NYP: Dow Jones' union is watching the clock. LAT: Deal extends Murdoch's global reach. LAT: Dow deal is a sign of dynasties' decline. NYT: Guessing Murdoch's strategy for the Journal. Guardian: Is Times of London editor Robert Thomson headed to the Journal? Marketwatch: Murdoch has a chance to prove critics wrong, writes Jon Friedman. NY Sun Editorial: Certainly [Murdoch's] success is something that all Americans, even his competitors, will hope for. Slate: Having bagged his trophy, how long will it take Rupert to bugger it, asks Jack Shafer. HuffPo: Murdoch's win is bad for journalism and bad for democracy, writes Josh Silver. BusinessWeek: Rupert's a 20th century newspaper guy — but this is the 21st century, writes Jon Fine. USAT: Media companies are noticing the sexiness of business news, writes David Lieberman. Times of London: News Corp. and Dow Jones have agreed on who will sit on a special committee to guard "journalistic and editorial integrity." Radar: "Annotated Murdoch" portrait takes pulse of staff on deal.
Please, PLEASE -- you guys MUST see a SHRINK.
Dow Jones Deal Gives Murdoch a Coveted Prize (NYT)
Rupert Murdoch finally won his long-coveted prize yesterday, gaining enough support from the deeply divided Bancroft family to buy Dow Jones & Company, publisher of The Wall Street Journal and one of the world's most respected news sources, for $5 billion. Dow Jones said early today that the companies had signed a definitive merger agreement after the boards of both companies voted last night. WSJ Publisher's Note: Readers should expect what they have always expected from the Journal, writes Gordon Crovitz. In an era when reliable, accurate and knowledgeable business news and information is more valuable than ever, the highest standards are good journalism and good business. NYO: Murdoch's triumphal night. NYO: It's not easy to get an interview with Rupert Murdoch. But if you do, it's easy to get a great one. E&P: Union at Dow Jones slams Murdoch victory. NYT: In the end, News Corp's capture of Dow Jones can be boiled down to one simple fact: Murdoch wanted it more, writes David Carr. E&P: Response from around the media to Murdoch's victory. HuffPo: News Corp's willingness to pay a large premium for Dow Jones is an acknowledgment that what the Journal does is important. But it is also a confirmation that resources need to be leveraged across mediums, writes analyst Lauren Fine Rich. MSNBC: Murdoch will tarnish a journalistic jewel, writes David Sweet. AJR: There has been a sense of inevitability about the dénouement of the Bancroft Family Soap Opera, writes Rem Rieder. NYP: Dow Jones' union is watching the clock. LAT: Deal extends Murdoch's global reach. LAT: Dow deal is a sign of dynasties' decline. NYT: Guessing Murdoch's strategy for the Journal. Guardian: Is Times of London editor Robert Thomson headed to the Journal? Marketwatch: Murdoch has a chance to prove critics wrong, writes Jon Friedman. NY Sun Editorial: Certainly [Murdoch's] success is something that all Americans, even his competitors, will hope for. Slate: Having bagged his trophy, how long will it take Rupert to bugger it, asks Jack Shafer. HuffPo: Murdoch's win is bad for journalism and bad for democracy, writes Josh Silver. BusinessWeek: Rupert's a 20th century newspaper guy — but this is the 21st century, writes Jon Fine. USAT: Media companies are noticing the sexiness of business news, writes David Lieberman. Times of London: News Corp. and Dow Jones have agreed on who will sit on a special committee to guard "journalistic and editorial integrity." Radar: "Annotated Murdoch" portrait takes pulse of staff on deal.
Please, PLEASE -- you guys MUST see a SHRINK.