THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Whoops! I think we got the wrong Renaissance man!
P. S.
AIDS IS A CIA PLOT!!!!!!!!!! (Michelangelonian overemphasis added)
Further P. S. from this B. S.
"My music," he said, "makes the mind think."
Excluding, it would appear, his.
It would appear also that The Paper of Mencken invented a quote -- we couldn't find any reference to this Renaissance Man in the TWXSTERS' archives, and we couldn't find it in Google. Count us surprised.