Posted 9:04 PM by Gene

More reportorial brilliance from the ASSPress:

When Coke bottle glasses just won't cut it for safe driving, a futuristic windshield might do the trick.

General Motors Corp. (GM) (GM) [SIC] researchers are working on a windshield that combines lasers, infrared sensors and a camera to take what's happening on the road and enhance it, so aging drivers with vision problems are able to see a little more clearly.

We fear if the Senior Clunker Brother ever gets through with this we may need Coke bottles.

Posted 8:49 PM by Gene

One may be forgiven for thinking Henry Luce and Steve Ross (?) invented the word "crass." Tonight we were going through the Library of Congress's vast Lincoln repositories and noticed tunesmiths wrote two hundred funeral dirges after he was shot. We can see some of these bozos barging into music publishing houses yelling, "I got a GRRRRREAT funeral dirge for you -- it's cornier and more bathetic than the others and it'll sell three million copies!" Of COURSE they're all forgotten except by Congress's librarians, which means despite their hopes neither SLIME nor SUMNER has a monopoly on GROSS.

Posted 8:30 PM by Gene

Meanwhile the TWXSTERS are so busy celebrating HISTORY (never mind their empire probably makes far more money from overcharges of its turnips intentional and otherwise that go overlooked) some of their number decided it gave them carte blanche to hoodwink us with a gee-whiz-aw-shucks-cute-little-wet-nosed-puppy-dog story of the blind rabbi-psychologist who WILL be in the next Congress -- but despite believing they're gonna live forever they rather mortally neglected the possibility that some of their inferiors MIGHT have computers, and MIGHT do a little SEARCHING -- as in...

The Iraq War - We Need A Rapid And Responsible Withdrawal

George Bush and Scott Garrett seem to believe we need to stay in Iraq indefinitely. I believe we need to get outoutOUTOUTOUT!!!!! [Let's-get-them-out-rapidly overemphasis added]

Of COURSE he doesn't say how rapid or responsible, leading us to believe he'll be a perfect stooge for the Lord. Whether that is enough to keep him in office may be another thing. One thing we do know: he will surely be "conflicted" in his choice of Gods.

Or to put it another way, when news hacks say jump some of us know not to.

A SPECIAL SCREAMIN' HOWARD DEAN NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO ADAM!

P.S. He also believes in unlimited abortions, which means -- DON'T SMOKE WITHIN TWO HUNDRED FEET OF HIM!!!!!

Posted 8:22 PM by Gene

More excitement at the table-pounding movie-maniacs' site inconveniently owned by Cantor Fitzgerald:

DARK KNIGHT is now ranked the best movie of all-time by IMDB voters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- (link) (Link and all-time exclamation points added)

Two notches above Stephen King's "It's a Wonderful Life." NUF SAID.

P. S.

How long it will take to fall will be interesting. -- nm dsbman Jul 19, 18:22 (0)

You dunderhead, they don't fall -- they RISE!

Posted 12:52 PM by Gene

Another Col. strategy is to waste our time with celebrity photos. Or to put it another way, imagine if each of the 53 photos in this gallery represented a fraction of Col.'s DEBT.

By the way, Col. if your hacks want to tout their prejudices as objective fact, fine -- but we would remind Your Excellency MNI JUST HIT AN ALL-TIME LOW, so hectoring us can cut BOTH WAYS.

Posted 11:35 AM by Gene

Found in the Web garbage today:

BOM: 66.4 Million for the Bat. NEW RECORD!!!!!!!!!! -- (link) [Links and record overemphasis added]

And from its onlie begetter PEOPLE WARNER:

Zimbabwe introduces $100 billion banknotes

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

This alleged revival of the hula-hoop (assuming, that is, it ever really faded from view) does say that Web mobs have the sheer brute power to keep things alive, a power they use indiscriminately; but because it is so scattershot they cannot keep interest up among other than their fellow stalwarts, and depending upon the object of their affection, that may not necessarily be a good thing.

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

Former Sen. MENTAL RECESSION has stepped down from Boobs's campaign, prompting stalwarts of truth and justice like Ramesh to call it an "overreaction", but M. R. could gloat about the peoples' suffering in part because he knew hard-core con-SER-va-tives would underreact.

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

James Brown's auction evidently did not bring in as much as high-priests of pop-cul-TYURE as Paper of Re-Cord scribblers would have liked, which may denote, in the end, such superstars will in time become as well known as, say, Lillian Russell today -- and despite what happened to a Jo Stafford (as we noted before) in many instances it may not be a bad thing.

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

Tight Security Dampens Beijing's Olympic Spirit
Celebrations across China are overshadowed by Communist regime's measures against alleged threats of violence and anti-government protest.

But we suspect they are not overshadowed in China, and that's what matters.

Posted 9:36 AM by Gene

We could think of half-a-dozen things NEWS HACKS have implored us to eat that aren't quite so healthy as tomatoes, and if Zeitgeist declares their reputation "rotten" it's a consequence of guvment ninnies with a media megaphone.

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

On a day when every Godforsaken media outlet thinks it can pulverize its turnips' puny minds into great wealth merely by flashing pictures of the KURT COBAIN OF FILLUM in that sickening makeup, in a mighty wave of self-congratulation such as we have not seen since WOODSTEIN won its P-Ulitzers, all for honoring the immortal notion that WHAT'S GOOD FOR PEOPLE WARNER IS GOOD FOR AMERICA, we learn that someone who was today as well known as we'd guess this IMMORTAL will be sixty years hence has died, and she didn't deserve the obscurity. Jo Stafford would certainly not mean anything to the Babbitts of print, and happily for them she is forgotten despite singing with Tommy Dorsey, and the Pied Pipers, and Young Blue Eyes, and Sy Oliver, and Johnny Mercer, and her husband Paul Weston, a leading arranger and conductor. Perhaps one reason she, like too many vocalists of the forties and fifties, is now where KURT will be sixty years hence is she sang too many novelties and gloppy ballads, and we suspect she'd be the first to admit it; but this does not at all negate (aside from a face that was, shall we say, lovely to look at) a sultry, sexy, caressing contralto and, at least as much to the point, a superb jazz instinct every bit as good as Peggy Lee's. She wasn't the only wolf-whistle inspiring singer of her day -- indeed the deafening wolf-whistles of then are the silence of now -- but she was one of the best, then, and now, and in the whole history of American pop music.

Posted 1:44 PM by Gene

Shucks, The Messiah will have to be a jelly donut somewhere else.

Posted 1:39 PM by Gene

It escapes us why so many want to will the seventies back into life -- economically and culturally. As for this remake someone could be an improvement over Bo "Great-Bod-Stone-Face" Derek, but that isn't saying much, and we doubt it.

Posted 11:40 AM by Gene

Love and marriage, bread and butter, coffee and cream....

That still doesn't prepare me for the reception awaiting the Wiesenthal Center delegation in Puerto Montt. As the yarmulke-wearing Zuroff mounts the steps of the hotel, a bearded man in a windbreaker adorned with the postwar German flag starts shouting "Get out of my country, there are no Nazis here" in English and Spanish. Zuroff has a brief but heated exchange with the man, David Mardones, a prominent member of a regional political party, who accuses the Israeli government of committing genocide against the Palestinians.

Yes, some things do go together.

Posted 9:48 AM by Gene

Hey Dubya! You have borrow-'n'-spend company in Merrie Olde Englande!

And he isn't even a Republican!

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

Little Jeffy or The Joker?

Or both?

If I were Little Jeffy I'd sue.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Coke Eyes Marketing as Area for Cost Cutting

We ask a stupid question: Who needs marketing with caffeine?

Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

The Emmys® are pulling the Os-CARS®' routine!

Let them eat awards!

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

SUMNER and MOONER will speak against BLATHER!

LET THE TRUTH BEGIN!

(First link via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

The last thing any news hack will ever say is that the reason he and his colleagues are having to wave goodbye to so many other colleagues is that we must always Get the Message. Whether it's the Message that Iraq is lost, or the Message that Republicans are EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL, or the Message that the Messiah is GOD, or the Message that CEOs are sacred, or the Message that the Kurt Cobain of Film was a GENIUS, they always dispense with Messages. So long as we must always Get the Message we must dispense with the Messengers in the hopes of making their business a MESS.

Posted 7:43 PM by Gene

STORIES WE STOPPED READING A THIRD OF THE WAY THROUGH THE FIRST SENTENCE:

Mitch Albom has a new book out - well, not really a book....

Posted 6:35 PM by Gene

And now that Honorary owns more of His creation He will undoubtedly become even more modest.

DOUBLE PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Posted 6:34 PM by Gene

Sighhhhhhhhhh, no $1000 a share anytime soon.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Posted 6:26 PM by Gene

Pelosi calls Bush 'a total failure' on everything

Eighteen-percent approval says You're not too bad Yourself.

Posted 6:19 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Belgian-Brazilians, panicky that they overpaid, will finance more junk television and prima donnas than ever, meaning a) they'll try to make good by firing lots of little guys, and b) we hope they have trouble paying off their debt for quite some time.

Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

Who knows? In time all the Madrid bombers could be free -- which would speak either to the total Spanish fear of holy cockroaches, or the total PC incompetence of SUPER CHICKEN!

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

Remember this while you gloat:

[I]n any future confrontation, Israel may use less restraint — and another war could be Lebanon's last.

Posted 3:47 PM by Gene

Bloomberg Stays Modest on His $16.2 Billion Worth

Honorary, will you stop running for something?

Posted 3:22 PM by Gene

Former Tyco CEO Kozlowski settles divorce case

Who gets the umbrella stand?

Posted 10:34 AM by Gene

Not long before she died, Pauline Kael remarked to a friend, "When we championed trash culture we had no idea it would become the only culture." Who did?

RHYMES WITH DASTARD.

A year after her death (in 2001) one formerly enthusiastic reader, Paul Schrader, a screenwriter of films such as Raging Bull and Taxi Driver, wrote: "Cultural history has not been kind to Pauline."...

"It was fun watching the applecart being upset," Schrader said, "but now where do we go for apples?"

DITTO FOR YOU.

By the way -- did she smile when she said that?

(Via the ANNOYING ArtsJournal)

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

"THIS IS OUR BAILOUT!!!!!" (Happy-days-are-here-again overemphasis added)

It sure IS.

(Sorry for the NOVAK)

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

The party that helped find a "right" in the Constitution for vagrants to sleep anywhere is turning them away from its convention?!?

This sounds like the work of SuperFlipFlop!

Posted 6:31 PM by Gene

Porfolio has just exposed more of the millionaire bums who greased the JACK VALENTI OF MORTGAGES's skids while greasing untold homeowners clean out of their homes. Henry Cisneros, Paul Begala (gosh! THAT virgin?!?), a former postmaster, the heads of Sprint and KB Home -- really, this Mafioso of Mortgages needed lots of underbosses.

Look at that picture, by the way. Given Angelo's beeyoutiful tan doesn't it seem as though that hand belongs to someone else -- as if maybe The Thing volunteered to raise it for Congress?

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

"SAMIR KANTAR IS A BRUTAL MURDERER OF CHILDREN AND ANYBODY CELEBRATING HIM AS A HERO IS TRAMPLING ON BASIC HUMAN DECENCY!!!!!" said Mark Regev, spokesman for the Israeli prime minister. (Brutal overemphasis added)

For which trampling your boss rolled out the red carpet.

Oh well, there is this small consolation:

And on a final note, a small word of advice for Samir Kuntar. Ask you[r] comrades in the PLO and Hizbullah what was the ultimate fate of various killers of Israelis and Jews years after they thought their actions were forgotten; for example, what happened to the killers of our athletes in Munich and their masterminds – the last of them died in unnatural circumstances 24 years after that horrific massacre. So learn from the past and draw your conclusions.

At least, after Ehud's been convicted.

(Via Contentions)

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

We imagine a few of Ronnie's friends must have gasped, "What? Only a couple bottles of vodka a day?" Or, "What? Only vodka?" I know we're supposed to chortle happily at this sort of thing, especially with a member of the Geritol Rockers, but seeing how many people no longer chortle, or laugh, or cry, or do anything thanks to alcohol, I don't.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

Seatless subway cars are a goofy idea, and a potentially hazardous one, but this is the kind of those behaviors the NON-SPECULATORS forced some of us into.

Posted 1:00 PM by Gene

China's quest to build the biggest & tallest

...and ugliest....

Within days of its opening, the $1.76 billion Hangzhou Bay Bridge was becoming famous for an unexpected special feature: car accidents.

The special viewing platform built to the side of the six-lane bridge was nowhere near completion, leaving drivers with no space to pause. So many people were stopping to gawk at the much-vaunted engineering and causing so much mayhem that police began cracking down on dawdling drivers and enforcing a minimum speed of 50 mph.

That's okay; there's plenty of OIL where that came from.

Posted 12:53 PM by Gene

Notre Dame's hired a lawyer as AD. This is an extremely apt choice -- he can deal with the other lawyers (and AGENTS, and MONEYMEN) who will so come to dominate the professional college sports biz as to finally remove its last self-serving bastion of "amateurism."

We'd be careful though -- with Busch going Belgian-Brazilian it might mean less money for corruption. Then you'll have to shake down your clients...or the TAXPAYERS.

His CV also includes Webcasting. Time for a new deal with Little Jeffy? Or maybe one for ourselves?

(Via the ASSPress)

Posted 12:45 PM by Gene

Just because the non-speculators are having a selling spasm doesn't mean we should stop worrying about sheikhs and Belly Kissers -- or non-speculators for that matter.

And NO, SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER, this does NOT mean you can build SUVs with impunity - or that people should BUY them.

Posted 12:43 PM by Gene

Apple is asking a court to order Miami-based Psystar to stop making unauthorized Mac clones and to recall all of the systems it has sold to customers since it began offering them for public sale in April.

The downside of a computer company as a religious cult.

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

"THE BUSH LIBRARY THING IS A RUSE BASICALLY TO GET IN A HUGE NEOCON THINK TANK ON A UNIVERSITY CAMPUS OVER WHICH NEITHER THE CHURCH NOR THE CHURCH'S OWN UNIVERSITY WILL HAVE ANY SAY!" Rev. Weaver said. "IT'S ABOUT REBRANDING BUSH AND THEY WANT TO REBRAND HIM UNDER THE COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE CROSS!!!!!" [Compassionate overemphasis added]

If Dubya were CLINTON....

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

Col.! Investing in something?

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO JOE!

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

Oh, great! Here's another bank that could never fail.

We understand why pinheads like PHIL talk about whining and mental recessions, but dammit these money burners played all their stupid financial tricks without adult supervision, and no doubt Watchoverya, er, Walkoverya, er, WACHOVIA is not far from the top of the list.

Posted 9:12 AM by Gene

Ehud gets his squib in the history books, somewhere between "appeasement" and "corruption."

Posted 7:42 PM by Gene

Once more from Romy -- with feeling:

It's time for Abrams to stop writing memos, start innovating

Romenesko Letters
"He can begin by hiring one or more cartoonists," writes Gary Dretzka, who wonders if Tribune innovation chief Lee Abrams is aware that the Chicago Tribune and Los Angeles Times are without staff editorial cartoonists.

Posted at 5:48:33 PM

BRING BACK PAUL CONRAD!

Posted 7:08 PM by Gene

DOW 36,000 HAS A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!!!!!

Luckily Andy Grove (with an amanuensis) is a little more sanguine. But let us not bet the farm we can solve the energy mess before the energy mess solves us.

Posted 6:55 PM by Gene

Happily it's not the only metropolis eager to burn tax dollars: Salt Lake City wants to build an $82 million thea-TAH, presumably to showcase such masterworks as, say, Urinetown, or Avenue Q, or maybe a production of Lysistrata in the rrrregietheatah style, complete with real sex, though most likely the town fathers will be content with another parade of Interstate bus 'n' truckers, interspersed by long parades of white elephants.

We thought THE GAMES took care of Salt's inferiority!

(Via the irritating ArtsJournal)

Posted 6:52 PM by Gene

Speaking of the former Motown, and its lingering psychosis:

The group working to save part of Tiger Stadium says it raised $200,000 in the few hours after The Detroit News broke the story the city was being asked to OK demolition of the entire historic ballpark.

And while they're at it they can tack on an auto museum devoted to every model Detroit made before it STOPPED KNOWING HOW TO BUILD THEM.

Carl Levin is pledging $15 million, meaning this is schmuckery of the first order.

Posted 6:33 PM by Gene

The GET A LIFE! crowd goes bonkers AGAIN:

Technology: World's First 2GB Graphics Card Is Here

Posted 6:26 PM by Gene

Brit Hume [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Retires. He will be missed.

07/15 05:51 PM

Clicking on THE LINK (and though it be Howie Hairshirt):

Sources familiar with the situation say that Hume, 65, will give up his job as Washington managing editor and anchor of "Special Report." They say he is near a deal to continue with Fox in a senior statesman role, not unlike that of Tom Brokaw at NBC, for roughly 100 days a year.

In his new role, Hume would be a senior political analyst, anchor special events, serve as a panelist on "Fox News Sunday" and occasionally substitute for the host, Chris Wallace.

Can't some megapundits READ?

For that matter Howie uses the word too. Can't HE read?

Posted 5:46 PM by Gene

Some of GM's eight brands have increased ad spending, even as sales have faltered, but not all of them. Its best-selling brand, Chevrolet, increased spending through April by 19% (not including online), per Nielsen Monitor-Plus, even as sales dropped 13%. GM overall spent $1.89 billion on ads last year and $641 million through April, as total sales dropped 12.3%, per Autodata, Woodcliff Lake, N.J.

Why did it take a disaster to get the SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER to see the light?

And further on the subject of prima donnas:

GM already started pulling back from some of its sports ties. In January, Cadillac opted out as a sponsor of the Masters golf tournament. GM also said it would not to renew its $1 billion sponsorship of the U.S. Olympic Committee when its contract ends after this year's games. And Chevrolet recently ended its primary sponsorship of the Nascar Childress Racing team.

Heck the executives are now starting to realize schmoozing has no place in rebuilding a company. But never underestimate the allure of being starry-eyed, even as those starry eyes see straight into bankruptcy.

P. S. at 6:55 p.m. Looks as if SENIOR's basically pinning its hopes on one electric car, even as it chokes on the exhaust of running on fumes building millions of SUVs.

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

Already the dismantling of the Beer Barony begins. Why can't the new owners just look upon the theme parks as good PR -- which don't cost a fraction as much as wasting all that money on prima-donnas' salaries?

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

We think we figured out why Bill "Mensa Man" Carter sat on his stoop pondering the difficulties to joke over The Messiah: He is the MJ of politics. I do not mean that flatteringly. MJ was all hoops and nothing else. If he had a personality it was consumed by the black hole of intensity that was his career. [NO PUN INTENDED.] The Messiah is all intensity; He doesn't smile unless He has to. Moreover it is hard to imagine a human trait on which jokemeisters could hang a bad gag. Think of every recent president: Ike had his addle-patedness and his nuculars; Kennedy his Hahvahd accent, LBJ his oh-so-serious twang, Nixon his thumpheting and his silly gestures with his arms, Ford his clumsiness, Carter his earnestness and dopey grin, Reagan his helmet-like hair and out-of-it style, Papa his verbal weirdness, Clinton his yakking lechery, Dubya his ditziness. The Messiah has no such traits -- or rather if He does they're purely administrative, which is why His campaign has made one mistake after another -- somebody running it is human. He is politics unto its perfection and why His exceedingly high regard for Himself has become His Achilles heel.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Another inimitable bit of genius from one of the Romy groupies:

Geffen should hire LAT journalists and start a news website

Posted 2:27 PM by Gene

Dan Gross, remembering he writes for Stale.com, says between $31 billion and $78 billion. How much will it cost?

Posted 1:31 PM by Gene

Even as Mr. Bernanke fielded questions from senators, a distinctly different view of the economy emanated from the White House.

President Bush, speaking at a White House news conference that coincided with the Fed chair’s testimony, urged Americans to “take a deep breath” and have faith in the country’s financial foundation.

The president said that the economy was “basically sound.” “Growth is slower than we would like, but it’s growth nonetheless,” he said.

GEKKO KUDLOW was at the WHITE HOUSE again!

Posted 1:19 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: By tomorrow this PR stunt will have reached TIMOTHIAN proportions.

In other words, we shall SCREAM.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

Satirizing Barack Obama has not been easy for The New Yorker magazine or the phalanx of late-night TV hosts. [Home-page blurb]

How do you make fun of God?

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

...Dazzling visuals -- in this case, almost three-dimensional computer animation -- rousing battle sequences and clunky dialogue.

Guess which animated adaptation of guess which cinematic masterpieces from guess which reclusive control-phreak zillionaire?

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

After a brief bout of Obamamania, some Capitol Hill Democrats have begun to complain privately that Barack Obama’s presidential campaign is insular, uncooperative and inattentive to their hopes for a broad Democratic victory in November.

The Messiah -- a snob? To His own people?

HHMPH!

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

It's official -- we have stagflation.

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

Somebody named Cal Fussman is writing a "memoir" under the name of Larry King, and it's being called What Am I Doing Here? -- which, in light of Lar's LEGENDARY career, is a very good question.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

Enormous publicity and a "mega-popular video duel" (sure we should use "words" like that, ASSPress?) result in zero -- an apt tale for our empty Web age.

Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

Los Angeles Times Publisher David Hiller resigns

Last one out don't forget to pay off the debt!

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

Buyers of the iPhone 3G are complaining that the device can't be used with many of the pricey charging stations, sound docks, and other accessories they bought for their iPods.

HA! HA! HA!

Posted 10:39 AM by Gene

1. WHINY REID and QUEEN BABS will scream and wail and jump up and down before they assent. 2. Knowing the non-speculators this will drive up the price of oil.

Posted 10:17 AM by Gene

If Critics Ran the Networks: A Multiplatform Roundtable

No! NO! This is TOO easy.

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

The Fed said it granted the Federal Reserve Bank of New York authority to lend potentially billions of collars to the two companies "should such lending prove necessary."

And only the TAXPAYERS go to the dogs.

300 billion collars. Does ANYBODY know how much dog food this will cost?

P. S. at 12:10 p.m. GEKKO, who not too long ago was singing "Goldilocks's Tune", throws out a number of up to $1.46 TRILLION. Does ANYBODY know?

Posted 8:55 AM by Gene

Futures applaud rescue plan

Of course futures would -- it's their money!

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

Bruni is now that rarest of things — a pop star savaged by critics and policy wonks.

We suspect even The Messiah's betrothed couldn't top that.

Someone alert MS. TRAVERS:

Betrand Dicale of the conservative daily Le Figaro — whose pages generally laud Sarkozy and his rightist government — urged readers to ignore all the non-musical discussion surrounding Bruni and her CD while declaring it "a perfect success." Dicale praised the quality of Bruni's "dense and fragile voice," the same voice that disapproving critics have faulted as hoarse and weak.

Yep, this is a con-SER-va-tive singer!

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

This game is over!

Of course it gives SUMNER (whose chief goal in life is to out-old Methuselah) an excuse to fire a senior citizen, and we liked Billy, but among a certain FRED FLINTSTONE this sort of blather is inexcusable, and we think we understand why.

Posted 8:54 PM by Gene

Taaaaaaaaaaaaa-ta-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....

Anybody for a Belgian or Brazilian flag?

Posted 8:34 PM by Gene

When we read a blurb like this somehow we hear the late Herbert -- Storm making fun of Hef's girlfriends' IQs.

We miss ya, Harry.

Posted 8:32 PM by Gene

Well, there's always El Salvador.

And his wife's prettier too.

Posted 8:28 PM by Gene

Somebody owns shares in LEE and MNI.

(Via -- as usual -- Romy)

Posted 7:41 PM by Gene

It's official: Eurovision's incurable.

Posted 7:37 PM by Gene

Bleachers start to tumble at Tiger Stadium

Have Southeast Michigan's news hacks paid too much attention to this?

Posted 7:18 PM by Gene

We thought you were the smartest man on earth, Da-VID!

Or maybe he is.

P. S. Why did you make this @#$%^& so BIG, Politico.com?

Posted 6:43 PM by Gene

Great -- DUBYA's bailing the shareholders of Fannie and Freddie.

PLUS he may raise the national debt limit. WHAT A MAROON!

P. S. at 7:30 p.m. It appears only the Paper of Re-CORD has mentioned the debt-limit biz, but we heard of it before, so we're betting it's in the Wizards' arsenal.

Posted 6:39 PM by Gene

Per-capita spending on razors is declining -- because 1. There is a limit to how many blades you can put on a razor; and 2. They last longer. Yet a couple of "experts" in this here Big-Double-A-Scribble piece insist Moon 'n' Stars didn't overpay for its razor division. Of course it didn't; as we've said to beyond tiresomeness, you can never pay too much to finance JUNK TELEVISION.

Posted 6:37 PM by Gene

Only on People.com

Let me guess -- PEOPLE WARNER'S ALREADY BOUGHT THE PICTURES -- AND FOR ENOUGH TO REHIRE THOSE LAYOFFS!