THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Thursday, August 07, 2003
I go out on a limb again. Anyone want to bet Gray Davis resigns? That would hand the seat over to a fellow Democrat -- and a Latino. There's the way to go.
I just realized something: Yesterday was August 6 -- the 58th anniversary of the atom-bombing of Hiroshima -- and we didn't get lectured! Heads will roll.
Sighhhhhhhh, Forbes.com is at it again:
"A classic is a book that has never finished saying what it has to say."
-Italo Calvino
A classic is a book everybody's read but nobody reads.
"A classic is a book that has never finished saying what it has to say."
-Italo Calvino
A classic is a book everybody's read but nobody reads.
If GENERAL JR.'s kind of monopoly is so hunky-dory, Robert J. "Competition" Samuelson, why are six hundred TV stations (under the inapt acronym of NASA) taking the FCC to court?
Now I know the California race is a joke. Gary Coleman's running.
At least Peter Ueberroth has credentials.
At least Peter Ueberroth has credentials.
I had to post this: They're staging opera again at the baths of Caracalla. If the sight awes us now, imagine what it was like brand new. I repeat, our culture can't do things like this anymore.
P. S. If I had comments I'd probably hear it about slave labor, the corrupt Roman caesars, etc., etc., ETC. What I meant is, the kind of noble inspiration that radiated through Rome's culture -- that inspired the Founding Fathers, among others -- is missing today. We'll see it at Ground Zero, where the ugliest white elephants will remind us of our aesthetic impotence.
[I]s the flash mob nothing more than this era's obnoxious public fad, like streaking, or running onto a baseball field during the game?
Here's something else that gets the Professor excited. You keep it up and I'll lump you with Bob-o Thompson and Noam Chomsky.
Here's something else that gets the Professor excited. You keep it up and I'll lump you with Bob-o Thompson and Noam Chomsky.
Hmmm, maybe some Republicans aren't as enamored of Ah-NULT as I thought.
I still believe he can win, solely on name recognition. By rights, he shouldn't be in the race. And remember, before anyone mentions the wonderful Jesse, he had a honeymoon, and he had a severe falling-out with the public, and he ultimately failed in office. And before anyone mentions Ronald Reagan, he had the backing of Walt Disney and Jack Wrather (the Lone Ranger producer). He didn't strike out on an ego-driven whim.
Meantime Andy S. thinks Ah-NULT's gay, and the Professor cites him approvingly, which makes them both asses.
And speaking of the MasterBlogger, he quotes his coproduction "Lileks":
Will he win? Well, he’ll bring new voters to the polls - we saw this in Minnesota with Jesse. People who never voted will find it cool to vote for Arnie, and even though they might not be the most sophisticated participant [sic] in the process, they’ll probably intuit that a vote isn’t just a thumbs-up statement. It means something.
Yeah, it means they'll vote for somebody with name recognition who bombs, so they'll figure, you can't vote for anybody, so they'll stop voting. Honest, the big-name bloggers stop thinking when they start typing.
UPDATE: In some places Ah-NULT is distinctly unenamored (caveat: it's a NewsMax).
I still believe he can win, solely on name recognition. By rights, he shouldn't be in the race. And remember, before anyone mentions the wonderful Jesse, he had a honeymoon, and he had a severe falling-out with the public, and he ultimately failed in office. And before anyone mentions Ronald Reagan, he had the backing of Walt Disney and Jack Wrather (the Lone Ranger producer). He didn't strike out on an ego-driven whim.
Meantime Andy S. thinks Ah-NULT's gay, and the Professor cites him approvingly, which makes them both asses.
And speaking of the MasterBlogger, he quotes his coproduction "Lileks":
Will he win? Well, he’ll bring new voters to the polls - we saw this in Minnesota with Jesse. People who never voted will find it cool to vote for Arnie, and even though they might not be the most sophisticated participant [sic] in the process, they’ll probably intuit that a vote isn’t just a thumbs-up statement. It means something.
Yeah, it means they'll vote for somebody with name recognition who bombs, so they'll figure, you can't vote for anybody, so they'll stop voting. Honest, the big-name bloggers stop thinking when they start typing.
UPDATE: In some places Ah-NULT is distinctly unenamored (caveat: it's a NewsMax).
Here's a word that gets the show-biz news hack's blood rushing, like "edgy" or "hip": "fringe," an excuse for public nudism and Marcel Marceau. We're supposed to get excited that all this wonderful "theater" is playing all over big cities like New York and Philadelphia and every other town that thinks Ed Rendell is its salvation. Problem is, even by the Times' admission, only 48,000 showed up for the last of these festivals, which by my calculation equals all of a sell-out month for one show on Broadway; and in the 1927-28 season there were 264 shows, and most of them didn't play in lofts or converted houses. And we get all this PR babble about "fringe" because show-biz news hacks refuse to admit our culture's gotten worse.
I predicted Ah-NULT would run last Friday. (Alas, I don't get a billion hits every ten minutes like the Professor.) Now to see if the rest of my prediction holds.
Why is this holy cockroach smiling? Because he's going to get 72 virgins!
May they all look like Helen Thomas.
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
''Celebrity news, it's important to remember, is generally as reliable as a horoscope. Much of it is completely speculative or made up -- not necessarily by reporters, tabloid or otherwise, but by their sources. We have no way of knowing if a given celebrity romance has been contrived by publicists to give their clients a visibility boost timed with a movie or record release. Celebrity coverage is often quasi-fiction that just happens to feature characters who are real.''
This quote appears -- at the bottom of a story, well beyond the jump -- in USA Okay, which runs more show-biz drivel than any other newspaper, so we can count this opinion as DEFINITIVE.
This quote appears -- at the bottom of a story, well beyond the jump -- in USA Okay, which runs more show-biz drivel than any other newspaper, so we can count this opinion as DEFINITIVE.
Wonder what Dubya's saying behind Colin's back.
We know what Colin says behind Dubya's back thanks to the Sieve of Fogbound.
We know what Colin says behind Dubya's back thanks to the Sieve of Fogbound.
I guess this great populist didn't run because of BAD POLL NUMBERS.
Back to midget transvestites, and gawdawful operas, or whatever.
Back to midget transvestites, and gawdawful operas, or whatever.
Robert J. Samuelson's idiotic paean to the diversity of un-Big Media, having already been run by Buffett ElectronicMedia through a joint venture of GE Bancorp and Bill the Entomologist, and all but plagiarized by the Trib Company, now runs in Buffett PrintMedia. Ain't competition between little guys wonderful?
Something tells me as "courageous" and "historic" as our local Tea Time Club's action was -- that's news-hack speak for, WE LIKE IT! -- it may not help the US, because people overseas will figure it's just one more proof we're decadent. And they wouldn't be far from wrong, either.
An ever bigger name in show-biz and a partner with AOL cribs from Robert J. Samuelson in trying to do what news hacks think they know best -- hoodwinking the people.
Sorry Trib, we know WHO OWNS WHAT.
Has this become the party line of Big Media?
Sorry Trib, we know WHO OWNS WHAT.
Has this become the party line of Big Media?
Shucks, Raquel's separating from her fourth husband.
This airhead's not for marrying.
On second thought: Miss Welch, I understand you're a book fancier. If I could somehow entice you to get me an agent, not only would I expunge the two "airhead" references to you (you are still, after all, quite comely), I might even propose marriage. You game?
This airhead's not for marrying.
On second thought: Miss Welch, I understand you're a book fancier. If I could somehow entice you to get me an agent, not only would I expunge the two "airhead" references to you (you are still, after all, quite comely), I might even propose marriage. You game?
When news hacks aren't doing favors for someone, they're doing favors for themselves. Here's a classic example of both. The Greatest Show of All Time has brought back The Greatest Comedians of All Time for a ninety-day run, and you know it's sold out already, and boy we wanted to get our tickets, so this cretin ran an ad on the front page of THE NEW YORK POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The truth is no doubt more sinister: Kerngershwin Hammerstein, alarmed at his steadily declining royalties, pleaded with Nathan and Broderick, then screamed at Harvey Whiner and Lowsy Mays, and gave a ticket or two to a pliable hack, and more to his craven editors, and VOILA! Instant sell-out. Well, he'll get his sellout, but who wants to bet after the stunt is over the show goes back into free fall -- and God knows Kerngershwin and his clan have already angered many theatregoers with their $10,000 seats -- possibly a reason the show was in free-fall, along with its vastly enduring excellence. Another demonstration, Andy S. (thankfully on vacation), of why RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is such a danger to all of us.
By the way, does it not occur to anyone that the terrorizing head-chopping hand-lopping wife-beating honor-killing full-body-veiling extremist Muslims and the platitude-spouting guitar-strumming non-judgmentalizing turn-the-other-cheeking finger-in-the-winding Tea Time Clubbers are opposite extremes?
Does the British Vicarage and Tea Time Club really have seventy million members? I've seen numbers that America has anywhere from two to ten million Muslims, although the estimate usually depends on whom the reporter is sleeping with. How does anybody know? This number most likely comes from the news hack's favorite source: whole cloth. I'd bet the number of active club members is a fraction of that, and the number of members who think they're attending a church a fraction of that fraction.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
How Robots Will Steal Your Job
If only LEGENDARY WELCH could have implemented THIS!
Let's see, robots doing clerical work, Indians engineering and writing code -- who's going to work here?
Or as LEGENDARY might have said, "NOT MY PROBLEM!"
If only LEGENDARY WELCH could have implemented THIS!
Let's see, robots doing clerical work, Indians engineering and writing code -- who's going to work here?
Or as LEGENDARY might have said, "NOT MY PROBLEM!"
A PR BONANZA! A stupid company that spent kazillions for stadium naming rights is laying off hundreds -- and there's NO RELATION!!!!!
I think "The LINC" got ENRONNED!
I think "The LINC" got ENRONNED!
One consolation: if the future of newspaper Web sites is AP headlines, so is the future of newspapers.
Really, I think Casablanca is a great movie too. BUT...
Both Warner Bros. and Warner Home Video are divisions of AOL Time Warner, which owns CNN. Aside from writing columns for The Hollywood Reporter, Robert Osborne is the host of Turner Classic Movies, another division of AOL Time Warner.
you know the movie biz isn't making great films anymore when its owners produce disclaimers longer than movies.
Both Warner Bros. and Warner Home Video are divisions of AOL Time Warner, which owns CNN. Aside from writing columns for The Hollywood Reporter, Robert Osborne is the host of Turner Classic Movies, another division of AOL Time Warner.
you know the movie biz isn't making great films anymore when its owners produce disclaimers longer than movies.
I see the clowns at Trib LALA Edition have put their entertainment section off-limits. While little there is worth reading -- the world can do without the eructations of Robert "Over the" Hilburn -- the Trib gang did it without notice. I think the dream in the back of too many news hacks' tiny brains is to turn all their sites paid, and maybe throw a bone of AP headlines to those who can't or won't pay. If they want to make the Internet useless -- and they seem to want to do it -- this is the way to go.
Saudi Arabia, jolted by al Qaeda bombings and U.S. criticism, is experimenting with tentative political reform as a weapon against Muslim "extremism."
In the latest move, the kingdom's de facto ruler Crown Prince Abdullah announced the formation of a center for dialogue to combat "racism and extremism" and address political and religious differences.
The scope and influence of the "King Abdul Aziz Center for National Dialogue" were not defined in Sunday's announcement....
Pffhh-hh-hh-HH-HH-HH-HH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the latest move, the kingdom's de facto ruler Crown Prince Abdullah announced the formation of a center for dialogue to combat "racism and extremism" and address political and religious differences.
The scope and influence of the "King Abdul Aziz Center for National Dialogue" were not defined in Sunday's announcement....
Pffhh-hh-hh-HH-HH-HH-HH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The movie companies would be better off throwing their money in the street. At least some folks would invest it wisely.
On top of that, Butt and Butthead appear to have another flop on their hands.
On top of that, Butt and Butthead appear to have another flop on their hands.
Another press release that should never have seen the light of day sees the light of day, complete with built-in disclaimer:
The magazine admits the photos were retouched, but no details are given on what was adjusted.
The magazine admits the photos were retouched, but no details are given on what was adjusted.
Monday, August 04, 2003
Vir-GIN-ia, at the end of a LONG column on Ann vs. Michael:
Could we now go back to talking about something more interesting?
There's too much of yakety-yak on the Web, and it's only compounded by the vast hordes of navel-staring bloggers. THIS is why I try to limit myself to two or three sentences.
Could we now go back to talking about something more interesting?
There's too much of yakety-yak on the Web, and it's only compounded by the vast hordes of navel-staring bloggers. THIS is why I try to limit myself to two or three sentences.
Another story that should never have seen the light of day sees the light of day.
Have news hacks decided, well, people don't trust us anyway, so we'll run any old story we want?
Have news hacks decided, well, people don't trust us anyway, so we'll run any old story we want?
I wouldn't put it past someone at Fogbound to have put out the news of General's "departure" as a sort of feeler. Fogbound is the sieve of the Beltway when it comes to leaking.
The Post hasn't taken down its story, despite Colin's pretentious denial.
The Post hasn't taken down its story, despite Colin's pretentious denial.
A cell phone as a primary phone makes some sense, even if it means 1) paying three times the rate of landline phone service, 2) all those ugly cellphone retransmitters on buildings, and 3) listening to a total stranger's love life. Sort of.
Given that Forbes overestimated Bob Hope's wealth by at least $85 million (far more adjusted for inflation) we should not take its estimates of other celebrities' wealth seriously.
My favorite number: Terry Keenan, formerly a pretty face for "Lollipop" Lou Dobbs, now gassing on FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News, said he was worth $1 billion. How typical of FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEWS HACKS STRIKE AGAIN!
My favorite number: Terry Keenan, formerly a pretty face for "Lollipop" Lou Dobbs, now gassing on FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News, said he was worth $1 billion. How typical of FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEWS HACKS STRIKE AGAIN!
What do these two stories (both linked on the invaluable IWantMedia.com) have in common:
NBC Says Its Profit Will Increase Sharply; and
WTUR [A CHEAP CHANNEL Disney Network affiliate in Utica, New York] Ends Local Newscasts?
NBC Says Its Profit Will Increase Sharply; and
WTUR [A CHEAP CHANNEL Disney Network affiliate in Utica, New York] Ends Local Newscasts?
America's three operative mottoes are:
If it feels good, do it;
The end justifies the means; and
NOT ME!
If it feels good, do it;
The end justifies the means; and
NOT ME!
More afflicting the afflicted. Why must I know about this?
And yes, anointing a new Lunt and Fontanne and afflicting the afflicted are related.
And yes, anointing a new Lunt and Fontanne and afflicting the afflicted are related.
Not content to anoint the greatest musical of all time, one of our generation's greatest press agents anoints "a new Lunt and Fontanne."
You looking for work, Ben?
You looking for work, Ben?
In still more automatic typing today, a MESS "analyst" says Kobe's losing "the perception battle."
Let's wait until the trial, guys.
Let's wait until the trial, guys.
Even when writing "requiems" (in this case, over the very dead form called musicals) the blurbists firmly refuse to admit that the problem's with our CULTURE, that the whole CULTURE's exhausted, and that we produce nothing but JUNK. No, gotta talk about irony -- and edginess.
I've been at ArtsJournal.com again grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I've been at ArtsJournal.com again grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Someone could write a stemwinder about Muzak; instead, a McCabe-Lokos tests out its computer's new automatic typing function.
I think I see the point. Alas, as GE Bancorp Network spokesperson Bill Carter notes, the mini-movies "will not mean fewer commercials or network promotions." In other words, there'll be more "clutter," which translates into more distractions, which translates into people getting madder at the TV, which translates into another reason viewers should abandon network television.
General, one term is enough.
Will Dubya appoint THE FIXER in his place? (Assuming he wins a second term, that is.)
Will Dubya appoint THE FIXER in his place? (Assuming he wins a second term, that is.)
Another reason to WAR on Liberia: We'll fight child soldiers.
Among the many many bad things JACK and his conspiracy promote is smoking. But judging from the opening of this story about Whoopi Goldberg's new sitcom --
"You know, secondhand smoke kills."
"So do I."
-- she shouldn't worry about anti-smoking zealots. She should worry about her writers.
"You know, secondhand smoke kills."
"So do I."
-- she shouldn't worry about anti-smoking zealots. She should worry about her writers.
Sunday, August 03, 2003
Sighhhhhhhhhhh, Robert J. Samuelson (a writer for whom I have some respect) seems to have gone off the deep end regarding GENERAL JR. and his "reforms." As he insists on putting it:
In the past 30 years, media power has splintered dramatically; people have more choices than ever. Travel back to 1970. There were only three major TV networks (ABC, CBS, NBC); now, there’s a fourth (Fox). Then, there was virtually no cable TV; now, 68 percent of households have it. Then, FM radio was a backwater; now there are 5,892 FM stations, up from 2,196 in 1970. Then, there was only one national newspaper (The Wall Street Journal); now, there are two more (USA Today and The New York Times).
If you don’t like radio, you can listen to a Walkman or pop a CD in your car player; in 1970, people had only bulky stereo systems. The alternative to TV is the VCR (85 percent of households) or, increasingly, the DVD player. Then there’s the Internet: everything from foreign news sites to chess to pornography.
Point 1: In 1970 the three networks were more or less independently owned. Today three of the four are owned by companies in movies, which allows them to be captives of their sister studio operations; witness the Disney Network. And even in cable, all four networks' parents have substantial programming interests, so what they lose in one medium they'll gain in another. (Clever that he forgets the Little Two, UPN and the WB, which are also controlled by companies in the movie biz. Clever also that he forgets in the early fifties there were four networks.)
Point 2: In 1970 cable was still an experimental medium owned by mom-and-pop entrepreneurs. Today it's a huge industry essentially dominated on the hardware end (i.e., cable systems) by a cabal, and on the software end (i.e., cable channels) by a cabal (pun intended). And two companies (AOL and Cablevision) have sizable interests on both ends. Some diversity.
Point 3: In 1970 most radio stations were independently owned, and played a variety of formats. Today two companies dominate the medium, which is run solely for the benefit of big consumer-products firms, promoting national advertising at the expense of localism and diversity.
Point 4: Yes, there are three national newspapers. There are also far fewer locally-owned papers (it escapes the intrepid Dr. Samuelson that USA Okay is owned by Gannett, notorious bane of localism in news); the afternoon edition, once an industry staple, has practically vanished; and except for a few big markets competition is nonexistent. Also, per-capita newspaper readership has declined, meaning the surviving papers are that much more dominant.
Point 5: Pop a CD in your car player and it's most likely made by one of the Big Five, four of which are foreign-owned; there was far more competition (and American ownership) in the record business in 1970. (Let us not point out that America still had a consumer electronics industry back then; that's virtually vanished too.) The same with prerecorded VHS tapes (how quaint) and the DVD; these are dominated by the same companies already dominant in movies and television -- and three of them are in the Big Five. (And the most prominent of their content, theatrical movies, merely migrated from network television, where they got their first TV exposure and played to large audiences.) As to the Internet, an astonishing number of the biggest sites are Big Media's; very few (Yahoo!, for instance) sprung out of nowhere, and Yahoo! didn't want to be an outsider forever; it hired a Big Media CEO. (Neither did AOL when it merged with Time Warner. How soon we forgot all the talk of Internet-Big Media mergers.)
Point 6: Elsewhere in his rant Robert J. pouts, "Popular hostility toward big media stems partly from the growing competition (a.k.a. more 'choice'), which creates winners and losers—and losers complain." Problem is, when the NRA, NOW, the Christian Coalition and Consumers Union can all complain about the same thing, it says with big media -- WE ALL LOSE. (And Bob, if our current un-big media are such an unalloyed wonder, why the quotation marks around "'choice'"?)
I don't think Robert J. Samuelson is a knee-jerk conservative, but his twaddle is a classic example of how the Buttmans and the Armeys view monopoly; simply put, the bigger the monopoly, the better.
In the past 30 years, media power has splintered dramatically; people have more choices than ever. Travel back to 1970. There were only three major TV networks (ABC, CBS, NBC); now, there’s a fourth (Fox). Then, there was virtually no cable TV; now, 68 percent of households have it. Then, FM radio was a backwater; now there are 5,892 FM stations, up from 2,196 in 1970. Then, there was only one national newspaper (The Wall Street Journal); now, there are two more (USA Today and The New York Times).
If you don’t like radio, you can listen to a Walkman or pop a CD in your car player; in 1970, people had only bulky stereo systems. The alternative to TV is the VCR (85 percent of households) or, increasingly, the DVD player. Then there’s the Internet: everything from foreign news sites to chess to pornography.
Point 1: In 1970 the three networks were more or less independently owned. Today three of the four are owned by companies in movies, which allows them to be captives of their sister studio operations; witness the Disney Network. And even in cable, all four networks' parents have substantial programming interests, so what they lose in one medium they'll gain in another. (Clever that he forgets the Little Two, UPN and the WB, which are also controlled by companies in the movie biz. Clever also that he forgets in the early fifties there were four networks.)
Point 2: In 1970 cable was still an experimental medium owned by mom-and-pop entrepreneurs. Today it's a huge industry essentially dominated on the hardware end (i.e., cable systems) by a cabal, and on the software end (i.e., cable channels) by a cabal (pun intended). And two companies (AOL and Cablevision) have sizable interests on both ends. Some diversity.
Point 3: In 1970 most radio stations were independently owned, and played a variety of formats. Today two companies dominate the medium, which is run solely for the benefit of big consumer-products firms, promoting national advertising at the expense of localism and diversity.
Point 4: Yes, there are three national newspapers. There are also far fewer locally-owned papers (it escapes the intrepid Dr. Samuelson that USA Okay is owned by Gannett, notorious bane of localism in news); the afternoon edition, once an industry staple, has practically vanished; and except for a few big markets competition is nonexistent. Also, per-capita newspaper readership has declined, meaning the surviving papers are that much more dominant.
Point 5: Pop a CD in your car player and it's most likely made by one of the Big Five, four of which are foreign-owned; there was far more competition (and American ownership) in the record business in 1970. (Let us not point out that America still had a consumer electronics industry back then; that's virtually vanished too.) The same with prerecorded VHS tapes (how quaint) and the DVD; these are dominated by the same companies already dominant in movies and television -- and three of them are in the Big Five. (And the most prominent of their content, theatrical movies, merely migrated from network television, where they got their first TV exposure and played to large audiences.) As to the Internet, an astonishing number of the biggest sites are Big Media's; very few (Yahoo!, for instance) sprung out of nowhere, and Yahoo! didn't want to be an outsider forever; it hired a Big Media CEO. (Neither did AOL when it merged with Time Warner. How soon we forgot all the talk of Internet-Big Media mergers.)
Point 6: Elsewhere in his rant Robert J. pouts, "Popular hostility toward big media stems partly from the growing competition (a.k.a. more 'choice'), which creates winners and losers—and losers complain." Problem is, when the NRA, NOW, the Christian Coalition and Consumers Union can all complain about the same thing, it says with big media -- WE ALL LOSE. (And Bob, if our current un-big media are such an unalloyed wonder, why the quotation marks around "'choice'"?)
I don't think Robert J. Samuelson is a knee-jerk conservative, but his twaddle is a classic example of how the Buttmans and the Armeys view monopoly; simply put, the bigger the monopoly, the better.
I think what George is trying to tell the tantrum throwers of both parties is, "OH, SHUT UP."
I don't know why these fool celebs need to carry guns. All they have to do is open their bad-breath mouths and they slay millions.
I find it hard to grieve for all of Bill's entomologists who got guilt feelings when all their misbegotten code made them rich, and I'm having trouble working up sympathy for northwestern Washington now that the Microsoft bubble has largely burst. I have learned (reluctantly) to live with my own small salary and small savings. But if any of the bug infesters feels really, really bad about their wealth, I'll be happy to take a load of their shoulders.
How bad is Giggly? "People were starting cell phone conversations, and nobody minded."
While going through the rigamarole to get GoogleBlogger back to normal I installed Alexa's toolbar. Despite the link to its parent Amazon.com I'd recommend it because not only does it have site counts, it has a pop-up ad filter that seems to work well (although pop-under ads do evade it).
Well, well! I found to keep out of LoFi you have to upgrade your Web browser. To learn about this you must sort through a hundred different GoogleBlogger pages. Also, I discovered you can reset your archives just by clicking Edit and then Post & Publish for any entry. No mention of that anywhere in GoogleBlogger. I loooooooove your customer service, GoogleBlogger!
Saturday, August 02, 2003
Hey GoogleBlogger! When can I go back to the acoustical era?
U.S. Cool To New U.N.Vote
Unfettered Role In Iraq Preferred
That's the word -- unfettered. Let the League of Nations loose and they'll model us in a reinforced-concrete strait-jacket.
Unfettered Role In Iraq Preferred
That's the word -- unfettered. Let the League of Nations loose and they'll model us in a reinforced-concrete strait-jacket.
Another source of gazillions for America's fee collectors (i.e., banks) is ATMs. So what have the collectors done to double your pleasure? They've made the ATM system vulnerable to crooks! Way to go, Armeyites!
What prompted the Times' morons to put this story on the front page? It's perfect for the dog days -- something overblown, something overhyped, something overpolitical. Whether Mel Gibson's masterpiece is any good is no longer a question, as knee jerks right and left have taken battle positions. Before it's over this cause celebre promises to be every bit as irritating as QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!! or Kobe.
The American branch of the British Vicarage and Tea Time Club chooses a PC socials director, prompting the leaders to say don't cheer and the Asians and Africans to wonder whether they got into the wrong club.
They're also rewriting the club rulebook so all the members may have a smashingly good time.
They're also rewriting the club rulebook so all the members may have a smashingly good time.
Thanks to Andy S. I found Christopher Hitchens's evisceration of Bob Hope. Let me repeat: as a corporate comedian, he was unfunny -- again I point to Andrew Ferguson's Weekly Standard piece, which sadly is not on the Web -- but that was in the last forty years of his career, and especially after his stints in Vietnam. In the radio years and the Road pictures he was funny, when his act was still reasonably fresh. Mark Steyn has said pretty much the same thing. Mr. Hitchens is on far stronger ground attacking idiot news hacks who write condescending encomiums out of thin air just to appease a public they despise.
Friday, August 01, 2003
Another sign GoogleBlogger is working right: I'm getting GoogleBlogger for Dummies -- referred to in the URL as "lofi." (I thought that was the regular version!)
Father and Brother Are Forced by Villagers to Execute Suspected U.S. Informant
And -- let me guess -- all over the Arab world, the villagers are heroes.
Just like the 9/11 guys.
And -- let me guess -- all over the Arab world, the villagers are heroes.
Just like the 9/11 guys.
GoogleBlogger was working fine for a week, so some Bill-like entomologist yelled, "BLOGGER'S WORKING GREAT! WE GOTTA FIX IT!!!!!"
And sure enough, it has the hiccups again, and you can't post without "HTTP Status 500" again. (Is HTTP Bill's version of CCCP?)
And sure enough, it has the hiccups again, and you can't post without "HTTP Status 500" again. (Is HTTP Bill's version of CCCP?)
The Clunker Brothers build more great cars!
(I guess it's optimism that GM's sales "fell less than expected.")
(I guess it's optimism that GM's sales "fell less than expected.")
The Professor uses the words "window dressing" -- two days after I do.
Only I don't get 500 million hits an hour (sighhhhhhhhhhhhh).
Only I don't get 500 million hits an hour (sighhhhhhhhhhhhh).
I didn't pay much attention to that psychological study equating Reagan with Hitler. Boys will be boys, I thought. Now it emerges (from conservative and Republican sources, alas) that its authors got over $1.2 million in federal greasing. This turns a joke into an outrage.
Looks like the professional college football season's going to start with an unsportsmanlike penalty!
The sensitive soul might connect the wheeling-dealing for VUE (to use a Ken Auletta insiderism) to its superb moviemaking, and get mad. The craven news hack, of course, only wants to score points, and get a better job, and gives not a whit for your feelings.
I guess Ah-NULT is going to run, given he's making the announcement on Leno. That will be a happy day for the knee-jerk Republicans. The hacks should ask him tough questions, but they won't because he's in SHOW-BIZ, and SHOW-BIZ is PERFECT -- unless, of course, they remember (as they will) that he's an EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL REPUBLICAN -- but even then they won't as SHOW-BIZ trumps evil.
Two predictions: Ah-NULT will be in over his musclebound head (Ronald Reagan at least ran a union for years and was politically active, so there's no comparison); and his wife becomes the de facto governor.
Two predictions: Ah-NULT will be in over his musclebound head (Ronald Reagan at least ran a union for years and was politically active, so there's no comparison); and his wife becomes the de facto governor.
After a week of relative calm, and no hiccups, a new feature on GoogleBlogger -- "HTTP Status 500!"
Orgasmically raving movie ad-blurb copywriters helped make the gross-out comedy indestructible, and now in typical news hack fashion the blurbists are deploring the fact even while denying they had anything to do with it. With their philistinism, trend chasing and reverse snobbery news hacks have done more than any party save JACK to ruin our culture, but of course will NEVER take responsibility, except in the fake symbolic PR manner of closing the barn door after the horse manure has bolted out.
I have avoided gay marriage as it is a sticky, nettlesome kettle of worms, but the news hacks didn't help the cause with their hallelujahs after the Nine Fingers in the Wind did their thing, and their high-intensity cheerleading is no doubt what's reflected in public-opinion polls. A little less politicking and maybe people could have approached it a little more dispassionately, but then, news hacks wouldn't be news hacks without their power grabbing.