THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, June 19, 2004
OH oh, LEGACY got his first review -- from MICHIKO:
The book, which weighs in at more than 950 pages, is sloppy, self-indulgent and often eye-crossingly dull — the sound of one man prattling away, not for the reader, but for himself and some distant recording angel of history.
Well, she says a couple of good things too.
I still want to know about spelling and grammar errors.
P. S. Mark "COULTER" Steyn (sorry Mark, but some people must TYPE) calls it "My Lie - whoops, My Life." Why couldn't I have thought of that?
The book, which weighs in at more than 950 pages, is sloppy, self-indulgent and often eye-crossingly dull — the sound of one man prattling away, not for the reader, but for himself and some distant recording angel of history.
Well, she says a couple of good things too.
I still want to know about spelling and grammar errors.
P. S. Mark "COULTER" Steyn (sorry Mark, but some people must TYPE) calls it "My Lie - whoops, My Life." Why couldn't I have thought of that?
I have NO HITS TODAY. Anybody out there?!?!?
You know SOMEONE doesn't like bloggers when STERNO calls his work "a brainless piece of drek-think and academic sensationalism devoid of intelligence and experience about its subject and bankrupt in its analysis."
I use "moronic" myself.
I use "moronic" myself.
Where the 1956 movie provided cameos by Marlene Dietrich, Frank Sinatra, Noel Coward and Buster Keaton, the [ESPNCorp] version offers Owen and Luke Wilson [WHO?!?!?] as the Wright Brothers....
So MICKEYMOUSE NIXON remade it anyway. ABANDON SHIP!
So MICKEYMOUSE NIXON remade it anyway. ABANDON SHIP!
The book is sprawling, undisciplined and idiosyncratic in its choice of emphasis.
Translation: IT STINKS.
But Carl Limburger smells quite good to himself, and so does the reek from the NEWS HACKS' armpits.
Translation: IT STINKS.
But Carl Limburger smells quite good to himself, and so does the reek from the NEWS HACKS' armpits.
U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said "these kinds of brutal acts do not help anybody."
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!
We cannot hope to extract the truth on stories like this because they're full of Rashomon -- and propaganda -- and because news hacks have already decided "Whatever it is, they're against it."
Plus the hacks' SIXTH SENSE FOR NEWS seems to be curiously alert before such events.
Plus the hacks' SIXTH SENSE FOR NEWS seems to be curiously alert before such events.
SO -- how do we make the Catholics' slap on the wrist an expression of BIGOTED HATEFUL EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL?
Knowing news hacks, they'll manage.
Knowing news hacks, they'll manage.
Friday, June 18, 2004
SYYYYYYYYYYYYYNERGYYYYYYYYYYYYYY:
Universal Studios Home Video Is Proud to Announce 'NBC News Presents'
I've got a better title: This is Six Sigma?
Universal Studios Home Video Is Proud to Announce 'NBC News Presents'
I've got a better title: This is Six Sigma?
Make no mistake: the heroes of the stem-cell movement are DE-FACTO PRO-ABORTION.
What sense does it make to save some lives if we're going to destroy just as many in the process?
What sense does it make to save some lives if we're going to destroy just as many in the process?
Here's one of those times when I find myself close to agreeing with the knee-jerk FREE ENTERPRISE conservatives on something. In many ways the market is more effective at setting a floor on salaries than the Feds. Business can make wages attractive when it wants to, even for the lowest-skilled worker. The problem with FREE ENTERPRISE, though, is when it wants to lower its average wage it OUTSOURCES.
[I]t never hurts to be reminded that "news" outfits are not above repackaging the same old shinola in new wrappers.
And that, in a tidy little package, is the secret of "successful" news hacks, bloggers -- and PUNDITS.
And that, in a tidy little package, is the secret of "successful" news hacks, bloggers -- and PUNDITS.
OOOOOOOOOOOOH! Another PROFILE IN COURAGE in the works : the MOONIES are turning LIBERAL!!!!!
I guess it's that or lose another "$1 billion."
I guess it's that or lose another "$1 billion."
Russian intelligence services warned Washington several times that Saddam Hussein's regime planned terrorist attacks against the United States, President Vladimir Putin has said.
Again, there was absolutely NO REASON to attack Iraq.
Again, there was absolutely NO REASON to attack Iraq.
I have HAD IT with NEWS HACKS POPPING THE BUBBLY EVERY TIME THERE'S A MEDIA MERGER. These celebrations only underline their intense desire to see the industry as big and as consolidated as possible, so they can apply the second titanium glove of their power to the first one over an already stainless-steel fist. Their industry will do ANYTHING to accrete power -- witness CIRCULATION INFLATION, a story NEWS HACKS, in their ORGANIZATION-MAN mode, will do EVERYTHING to bury.
GRAYDON and the ad-blurb copywriters' effusions over A NEW GOLDEN AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT are reason enough for the HACKS to have forfeit their last shred of credibility.
GRAYDON and the ad-blurb copywriters' effusions over A NEW GOLDEN AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT are reason enough for the HACKS to have forfeit their last shred of credibility.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Several days after nyah-nyahing the Sun-Times about its goofy numbers, seems TRIB has some goofy numbers of its own at Newsday.
How widespread is this farce?
How widespread is this farce?
I am waiting for the neat little music seller Collectables Records -- or is that Marie's CDs? -- to have another one of its 3-for-2 sales so I can buy the soundtrack to Billy Rose's Jumbo. This was MGM's swan song in musicals (discounting The Unsinkable Molly Brown and those ghastly Elvis and Connie Francis programmers) and the last film for one of the most brilliant musicians who ever worked in Hollywood: Conrad Salinger, the dean of orchestrators. In this PC age we honor him not for his brilliance but because he was GAY, flamingly GAY, foppishly GAY, which does an enormous insult to his memory. I remember when I was very young being struck by his theme to the old bad John Forsythe sitcom Bachelor Father, and while it's not much of a melody he wrung every last drop out of it with his talent. This thirty-second sample of "This Can't Be Love" (he did even better) has a snippet of what made him great -- the piquant twists in harmony, the "denseness" of his scoring, that genius for making even the most inconsequential song eloquent -- and Rodgers and Hart were far from inconsequential. (He helped orchestrate the Broadway production in '35.) Listening closely to his arrangements can teach anyone in any art form how to add that little fillip that adds zest and life. More than anyone else save Judy Garland Salinger made the Freed Unit and its twenty-year string of triumphs, and he as much as anyone else underlines why good movies need good music. He died after the Jumbo assignment, apparently by his own hand: he foresaw the snake in the MGM grass, and the end of the musical he helped to prosper. Fortunately, since DR. EVIL took over the trade we've had nothing but CINEMATIC BRILLIANCE, so Salinger isn't missed -- except by those who love music.
BRILLIANT! NOAA's weather-radio stations will broadcast non-weather "emergency alerts." Has anyone heard these stations lately? They use computer-synthesized speech; the one around here has three different "personalities" (two male, one female) who speak with vaguely Scandinavian inflections and mispronounce every tenth word (Reading, following a word that ends with a T, becomes "Treading"). Listen for more than twenty seconds at a time and you WILL go nuts. If people laugh now at NOAA, think what will happen when it becomes America's babysitter.
Possibly I complain out of jealousy -- I wrote a college satire that will never be published, as I must say again -- and none of this is a knock on Kinsley.com (which should be knocked in other ways), but somehow when I read "personal and reportorial account[s] of middle class kids in their teens and early 20s" they all sound the same. Teenagers are dull, very dull, intrinsically dull, and it takes a good writer to transcend that dullness, and very few can.
Two can play at this game (and that's what it is, a game): If Mark Steyn is Ann Coulter, Dan Kennedy is Joe Conason. Thus punditry can always be reduced to its irreducible minimum of "MOMMY! HE STOLE MY BIKE!!" "DID NOT!!!" "DID TOO!!" "DID NOT!!!" "DID TOO!!!" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" "WILL YOU SHUT UP OR I'LL SPANK BOTH OF YOU!!!" Good idea.
I don't like it when columnists play mind games with me, mister -- right OR left.
By the way, Romy -- who IS Dan Kennedy?
I don't like it when columnists play mind games with me, mister -- right OR left.
By the way, Romy -- who IS Dan Kennedy?
A NEW GoogleBlogger innovation: after you click on "Publish Post" -- the screen goes blank!
HUBRIS:
With news of an impending attack against the United States gaining wider circulation, a rift developed within al Qaeda’s leadership. Although Bin Ladin wanted the operation to proceed as soon as possible, several senior al Qaeda figures thought they should follow the position taken by their Afghan host, Taliban leader Mullah Omar, who opposed attacking the United States. According to one al Qaeda member, when Bin Ladin returned after the general alert in late July, he spoke to his confidants about problems he was having with Omar’s unwillingness to allow any further attacks against the United States from Afghanistan.
KSM [Khalid Sheikh Mohammed] claims that Omar opposed attacking the United States for ideological reasons but permitted attacks against Jewish targets. KSM denies that Omar’s opposition reflected concern about U.S. retaliation but notes that the Taliban leader was under pressure from the Pakistani government to keep al Qaeda from engaging in operations outside Afghanistan. While some senior al Qaeda figures opposed the 9/11 operation out of deference to Omar, others reportedly expressed concern that the U.S. would respond militarily.
Bin Ladin, on the other hand, reportedly argued that attacks against the United States needed to be carried out immediately to support the insurgency in the Israeli occupied territories and to protest the presence of U.S. military forces in Saudi Arabia. Bin Ladin also thought that an attack against the United States would reap al Qaeda a recruiting and fundraising bonanza. In his thinking, the more al Qaeda did, the more support it would gain. Although he faced opposition from many of his most senior advisers — including Shura council members Shaykh Saeed, Sayf al Adl, and Abu Hafs the Mauritanian — Bin Ladin effectively overruled their objections, and the attacks went forward.
With news of an impending attack against the United States gaining wider circulation, a rift developed within al Qaeda’s leadership. Although Bin Ladin wanted the operation to proceed as soon as possible, several senior al Qaeda figures thought they should follow the position taken by their Afghan host, Taliban leader Mullah Omar, who opposed attacking the United States. According to one al Qaeda member, when Bin Ladin returned after the general alert in late July, he spoke to his confidants about problems he was having with Omar’s unwillingness to allow any further attacks against the United States from Afghanistan.
KSM [Khalid Sheikh Mohammed] claims that Omar opposed attacking the United States for ideological reasons but permitted attacks against Jewish targets. KSM denies that Omar’s opposition reflected concern about U.S. retaliation but notes that the Taliban leader was under pressure from the Pakistani government to keep al Qaeda from engaging in operations outside Afghanistan. While some senior al Qaeda figures opposed the 9/11 operation out of deference to Omar, others reportedly expressed concern that the U.S. would respond militarily.
Bin Ladin, on the other hand, reportedly argued that attacks against the United States needed to be carried out immediately to support the insurgency in the Israeli occupied territories and to protest the presence of U.S. military forces in Saudi Arabia. Bin Ladin also thought that an attack against the United States would reap al Qaeda a recruiting and fundraising bonanza. In his thinking, the more al Qaeda did, the more support it would gain. Although he faced opposition from many of his most senior advisers — including Shura council members Shaykh Saeed, Sayf al Adl, and Abu Hafs the Mauritanian — Bin Ladin effectively overruled their objections, and the attacks went forward.
"The only thing advertisers care about is circulation, circulation, circulation," Atorino said. "You could put Mickey Mouse's byline on stories, and they wouldn't care."
Aside from the fact that Mickey Mouse already writes most news copy, people won't notice a byline strike because SO MANY STORIES IN SO MANY NEWS MEDIA AREN'T BYLINED. That the Journals employ megalomaniacs (Al Hunt, John Fund) does not exempt them from the public's indifference either, although we who know their excellences (or is it "their Excellencies"?) know better.
Aside from the fact that Mickey Mouse already writes most news copy, people won't notice a byline strike because SO MANY STORIES IN SO MANY NEWS MEDIA AREN'T BYLINED. That the Journals employ megalomaniacs (Al Hunt, John Fund) does not exempt them from the public's indifference either, although we who know their excellences (or is it "their Excellencies"?) know better.
Somebody named Leopold tries to justify his salary by writing a thumbsucker about the 80s.
Only three things need be remembered about that decade: 1. It was the second ten years of the Me Decade; 2. Except for MUSICAL MASTERWORKS ("Thriller," "Born in the USA") and catchphrases ("Greed is good"; "WHERE'S THE BEEF?") it was a time of cultural dross; and 3. Because of the first two things the eighties never ended.
Only three things need be remembered about that decade: 1. It was the second ten years of the Me Decade; 2. Except for MUSICAL MASTERWORKS ("Thriller," "Born in the USA") and catchphrases ("Greed is good"; "WHERE'S THE BEEF?") it was a time of cultural dross; and 3. Because of the first two things the eighties never ended.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
RULE NO. 1 OF RETAILING:
Any store that plays Billy Joel on its foreground muzak never restocks sale items.
Any store that plays Billy Joel on its foreground muzak never restocks sale items.
Knight Ridder Philly Newspaper Monopoly Tabloid Edition's endorsement of DIPPITY-DO! is an admission and a challenge. It's an admission that, faced with an audience tiring of the same old news hack blah and competition from a free tabloid, it must do something, ANYTHING, to attract attention, even if in doing so it threatens to put itself out of business and hundreds of nonideological working stiffs out of their jobs. (What are THEY compared to a august EDITOR?) It is a challenge to the industry, a challenge it indirectly takes up from MR. CONSCIENCE of E&P, to put more partisan tubthumping tantrums on the front page. Yes editorials once graced front pages, but that was in an age with more true competition. This, in essence, is an invitation for other NEWS HACKS to sing with one voice ol' DIP's praises, much as Horace Greeley once lied -- SANG the praises of ol' TIP. One hopes they rise to the occasion, and make one giant ass of themselves; far more likely is this bold courageous avalanche of 1,838 words meets with near total indifference, underlining the trade's essential impotence in the face of an angry mob.
"The commonwealth - indeed the nation - cannot afford another four years of George Bush." Alas, we cannot afford another couple of years of your industry, its prevarications, its selling, its complete raw contempt for the public -- but it will remain in power long after you or I or Bush or DIP shuffle off this mortal coil -- assuming, as it does not pay to assume, that NEWS HACKS are MORTAL.
"The commonwealth - indeed the nation - cannot afford another four years of George Bush." Alas, we cannot afford another couple of years of your industry, its prevarications, its selling, its complete raw contempt for the public -- but it will remain in power long after you or I or Bush or DIP shuffle off this mortal coil -- assuming, as it does not pay to assume, that NEWS HACKS are MORTAL.
The same site that "reported" Idi Amin's death weeks before he died and screamed "ARAFAT SERAIT MORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" helped pass along a rumor that the thug Hosni Mubarak met his maker. Of COURSE it was false.
This clown got more hits spreading this one rumor than I've gotten since I've started blogging.
This clown got more hits spreading this one rumor than I've gotten since I've started blogging.
DR. EVIL has a SUCCESSOR!!!!!
And he's perfect too: politically well-connected, a wheeler-dealer, a bloviator, someone who can utter BIG WORDS before Congressional committees...now if we can only get him friends with CICERO.
And he's perfect too: politically well-connected, a wheeler-dealer, a bloviator, someone who can utter BIG WORDS before Congressional committees...now if we can only get him friends with CICERO.
Daniel Pipes gives Ronald Reagan credit for practically ENDING TERRORISM in 1981.
Followed by...hostage takings in Lebanon, the Beirut Massacre, the Achille Lauro, Iran-Contra, the Lockerbie bombing -- a VERY impressive record, DANNY.
Followed by...hostage takings in Lebanon, the Beirut Massacre, the Achille Lauro, Iran-Contra, the Lockerbie bombing -- a VERY impressive record, DANNY.
Why Dr. EVIL must go, just for pragmatic reasons: 1. He thinks KIDS read the papers HE reads; 2. He's launching an anti-piracy campaign in "100 college newspapers" when schools are out on summer break; and 3. He thinks a million people work in the film biz. Maybe he was thinking of the average monthly salary of his friends.
P. S. A better ad would have read: "RESTRICTED: No one under 22 can pirate our movies -- unless you get away with it."
P. S. A better ad would have read: "RESTRICTED: No one under 22 can pirate our movies -- unless you get away with it."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooh, His Royal Highness KING SI hands out a "code of ethics" -- and it's NOT because of PRINCE GRAY!
This means instead of making fifty deals a year Gray makes fifty deals a year -- with a DISCLAIMER.
P. S. to OMERTA: The hed says Vanity Fair has a code of ethics. The STORY says "Conde Nast." Your HED is WRONG, or your STORY is wrong. Which is it?
This means instead of making fifty deals a year Gray makes fifty deals a year -- with a DISCLAIMER.
P. S. to OMERTA: The hed says Vanity Fair has a code of ethics. The STORY says "Conde Nast." Your HED is WRONG, or your STORY is wrong. Which is it?
I always wanted to write my own musical. So I must sigh when I see this photo. These five jolly old men are (left to right) John Kander and Fred Ebb, the songwriters of Cabaret; the revered theatrical director and producer Harold Prince; and Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock, the songwriters of Fiddler on the Roof. The two collaborating teams have just donated a treasure trove of manuscripts to the New York Public Library. These men richly deserve to be happy (as well as richly deserving to be rich), but it should make us melancholy to think that no one ever took their place.
The former Speaker of the House still harbors a LITERARY AMBITION.
Wasn't it enough that you published a bad novel and a ghosted memoir?
Oh well, I've done some not-very-good "reviews" for Amazon.com too.
Wasn't it enough that you published a bad novel and a ghosted memoir?
Oh well, I've done some not-very-good "reviews" for Amazon.com too.
Another reason to believe NEWS HACKS: TRIB COMPANY nyah-nyahs that its one competitor in the Windy City, the Sun-Times, substantially inflated its circulation. This is a cherry of a lie atop CONRAD'S whipped topping of obfuscation.
News hacks are gloating and ANDY S. is in his SUPERMELODRAMATIC MODE because A POLL says THE IRAQIS DON'T LIKE US. POLLS also told us that LEGACY was a great president. It's not news to be overjoyed about, but let me say it again: why should we let our conduct be swayed by clipboards? And if the Iraqis don't like us, well, maybe they can join up with the Palis and live in permanent poverty. I think they have more sense than that, more than a POLL would indicate.
I wonder why someone from The College Board gave me eleven page views? To steal some crafty sentences for upcoming tests? Maybe you were wondering about my college satire that happily will never see the light of day? Thank you whatever your motives.
Well OKAY, you got your TITLE, and now you BELONG to the AGES. At least you folks didn't RIOT -- or if you did, the NEWS HACKS are doing an excellent job keeping the news under EMBARGO.
It may have helped that you joined the IMMORTALS on a TUESDAY.
It may have helped that you joined the IMMORTALS on a TUESDAY.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR: NO-SHOW KERRY SHOULD QUIT SENATE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm, I'm having the toughest time here, Carl Limburger -- can you possibly tell me what party he's in?
You'd be OMERTA if you could switch shoes.
Hmmm, I'm having the toughest time here, Carl Limburger -- can you possibly tell me what party he's in?
You'd be OMERTA if you could switch shoes.
Neither of DEEtroit's newspaper Web sites has anything on the possibility of a big PAR-TYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! (Okay, one article in Freep.com -- mostly about security around Auburn Hills.)
Do they know something we don't? Or are they in DEEnial?
Do they know something we don't? Or are they in DEEnial?
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says RUSH "has trouble telling the truth"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is like Ben Stein saying Nixon had trouble telling the truth!
This is like Ben Stein saying Nixon had trouble telling the truth!
WSJ Reporters to Conduct Byline Strike
OOOOOOOOOOOOH! Gotta ask again: Will the CONSERVATIVE EDITION SCAB?!?!?
OOOOOOOOOOOOH! Gotta ask again: Will the CONSERVATIVE EDITION SCAB?!?!?
Monday, June 14, 2004
What DUBYA said about A CERTAIN PRESIDENT was no more sincere than what THE NEWS HACKS said about A CERTAIN PRESIDENT. QED.
Then again, what if he WAS sincere?
Then again, what if he WAS sincere?
Can you imagine the uproar from THE PAPER OF RECORD and every media conglomerate and PC windbag on the isle of Manhattan if someone restarted the contest that inspired "Miss Turnstiles" in Leonard Bernstein's On the Town?
I think we should start with the lady on the cover of this week's New York (assuming it's a photograph).
I think we should start with the lady on the cover of this week's New York (assuming it's a photograph).
Jimmy "POUND THE TABLE" Cramer says "despite anything you’ve heard, there [was] no nicer, finer exec in town" than the late ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
This is like calling the DONALD a great humanitarian.
You ankling in on a deal, POUND?
This is like calling the DONALD a great humanitarian.
You ankling in on a deal, POUND?
What happened at that @#$%#* Iraqi prison was BAD; but if NEWS HACKS resume their OFFENSIVE after LEGACY debuts his GEN. GRANT-BRILLIANT MEMOIR...well, to quote from a line that appeared in ROMENESKO:
Undue criticism of Reagan could bring liberal bias accusations (St.PT)
Or in the end, it will be about, as it always is about, POLITICS, INSTALLING A DEMOCRAT IN THE WHITE HOUSE, and a SELECTIVE OUTRAGE THAT MAKES US LOOK WORSE THAN SADDAM.
Undue criticism of Reagan could bring liberal bias accusations (St.PT)
Or in the end, it will be about, as it always is about, POLITICS, INSTALLING A DEMOCRAT IN THE WHITE HOUSE, and a SELECTIVE OUTRAGE THAT MAKES US LOOK WORSE THAN SADDAM.
Notorious Al Qaeda militant arrested in Pakistan
"Notorious"? Aren't they supposed to be "celebrated" or something?
"Notorious"? Aren't they supposed to be "celebrated" or something?
Shucks, a GALE FORCE WIND dislocated the NINE FINGERS before they could even POINT. Thus THE PLEDGE STANDS, complete with its reference to GOD, whatever THAT is, on a TECHNICALITY.
Guess we'll have to do our PROFILE IN COURAGE some other time. And we WILL.
Guess we'll have to do our PROFILE IN COURAGE some other time. And we WILL.
Another thought: if the Lakers come back to win the series will DEEtroit go up in flames anyway?
I just thought of something: how ugly will the Postal Disservice make its Ronald Reagan stamp?
Given that the big green Satchmo impersonator with the two green Bugles chips for ears is frequenting the place I say VERY ugly.
Given that the big green Satchmo impersonator with the two green Bugles chips for ears is frequenting the place I say VERY ugly.
Another Forbes.com Burp of the Day:
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
-Anonymous
Tell that to Jimmy Kimmel.
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
-Anonymous
Tell that to Jimmy Kimmel.
YOU STOLE WALTER WINCHELL'S PATENTED SHTICK!
He'll SUE!!!!!
KING RICHARD thanks you, the nation thanks you, the universe thanks you -- and I thank you.
He'll SUE!!!!!
KING RICHARD thanks you, the nation thanks you, the universe thanks you -- and I thank you.
President to discuss Medicare program during Missouri trip
After that nice little gift to the geezers and the drug companies he'd best keep his mouth shut.
After that nice little gift to the geezers and the drug companies he'd best keep his mouth shut.
Kerry's liberalism a weapon for Bush
TRANSLATION: OMERTA has his friends (26, count 'em, 26), "Rev." Moon has his.
TRANSLATION: OMERTA has his friends (26, count 'em, 26), "Rev." Moon has his.
Sunday, June 13, 2004
Washington Says Saudi Arabia Working to Counter Terrorist Threat
It would sorta look bad if WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS didn't say that.
It would sorta look bad if WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS didn't say that.
We know HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS KING RICHARD does not watch so much as one movie or TV show from His empire, so He will not care that His latest epic (according to the fake and premature numbers which PAUL DRECK calls definitive) has declined by nearly two-thirds. I'm old enough to recall when a movie was still special, when My Fair Lady and The Sound of Music played in reserved-seat first-run houses for a year. There was a mystique to such films, the notion that here was a classy product that could stand the test of time. The King and His fellow Kings are out to get their product in and out of theaters in one week, and that's also befitting. Perhaps they can make them come and go so fast they won't have to play in theaters at all.
By the way, PAPER OF RECORD, it looks as though Saved! is headed to box-office perdition.
By the way, PAPER OF RECORD, it looks as though Saved! is headed to box-office perdition.
SYYYYYYYYYYYYNERGYYYYYYYYYYYY....
THE world's best-read gossip column is regularly plugged on T-shirts, magazines, books and now television shows. PAGE SIX features prominently in the opening segment of Fox's anticipated summer drama, "North Shore."
That's like saying Dan Rather "features" on Everybody Loves Raymond.
THE world's best-read gossip column is regularly plugged on T-shirts, magazines, books and now television shows. PAGE SIX features prominently in the opening segment of Fox's anticipated summer drama, "North Shore."
That's like saying Dan Rather "features" on Everybody Loves Raymond.
One week in metro Detroit: three killings, three fugitives
A typical time in the Land of the Eternal Riot.
A typical time in the Land of the Eternal Riot.
NOW AN EDITOR GREATER THAN HOWELL TELLS US IT'S "A LONGTIME FRIEND."
With this IDIOT I wouldn't believe it unless he committed ritual hara-kiri.
With this IDIOT I wouldn't believe it unless he committed ritual hara-kiri.
OMERTA finds a bunch of FORMERS and RETIREDS who agree with him.
Time to hum the Godfather theme.
P. S. Sixteen of the twenty-six FORMERS and RETIREDS served under Democrats.
OR:
GOD I LOVE IT WHEN I CAN TORTURE THE @#$%&* LOW-LIFE OPERATORS AROUND HERE!!!!!
OR:
I GOT MY @#$%&* JOB; I'M BETTER THAN YOU ARE!!!!!
Time to hum the Godfather theme.
P. S. Sixteen of the twenty-six FORMERS and RETIREDS served under Democrats.
OR:
GOD I LOVE IT WHEN I CAN TORTURE THE @#$%&* LOW-LIFE OPERATORS AROUND HERE!!!!!
OR:
I GOT MY @#$%&* JOB; I'M BETTER THAN YOU ARE!!!!!
Sorry, "PUBLIC EDITOR" of THE PAPER OF RECORD, a SOURCE is merely "Someone a news hack cites when he wishes to express an opinion." And so long as you NEWS HACKS have OPINIONS, you'll have SOURCES.