THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, August 26, 2006
I'm sure I shouldn't be so critical; after all I (like tens of millions of other no-talents) have worked on a book for far longer than I've been gainfully employed. And at times like these I think, for what purpose? I forever dream of being wealthy beyond avarice, but even if the psychotic dream passed, for what purpose?
Part of the fun of being a hit writer would be to know the cream of society. Who do we have now? Today, for instance, I think of a very catchy tune called "Drop That Name" from Bells Are Ringing (starring Judy Holliday, who was all of 43 when she died), and just beholding the verse you know what any ambitious writer with an itch for social climbing is up against (I quote from the fine cast album):
Man: Don't be flustered miss. Do as they all do -- just drop a name!
(He and members of the chorus start dropping names:)
Ed...
...Murrow!
Noel...
...Coward!
Humphrey...
...Bogart!
Bennett...
...Cerf!
Somerset...
...Maugham!
Jennifer...
...Jones!
Lalala la, lala!
Just the first six names and the sensitive soul is done for. The whole song has forty-five names. And it makes one madder at the pee-wee age we live in to think that the songwriters, Styne, Comden and Green, probably knew nearly all the names! One other thing: I have reason to believe (I think it's in the piano-vocal score) that when Humphrey Bogart died not long after the show's open his name got replaced with Sammy Davis's, so the rot already set in. Can anyone think of one name, one name from today that could stand squarely and proudly in the company of those first six?
Part of the fun of being a hit writer would be to know the cream of society. Who do we have now? Today, for instance, I think of a very catchy tune called "Drop That Name" from Bells Are Ringing (starring Judy Holliday, who was all of 43 when she died), and just beholding the verse you know what any ambitious writer with an itch for social climbing is up against (I quote from the fine cast album):
Man: Don't be flustered miss. Do as they all do -- just drop a name!
(He and members of the chorus start dropping names:)
Ed...
...Murrow!
Noel...
...Coward!
Humphrey...
...Bogart!
Bennett...
...Cerf!
Somerset...
...Maugham!
Jennifer...
...Jones!
Lalala la, lala!
Just the first six names and the sensitive soul is done for. The whole song has forty-five names. And it makes one madder at the pee-wee age we live in to think that the songwriters, Styne, Comden and Green, probably knew nearly all the names! One other thing: I have reason to believe (I think it's in the piano-vocal score) that when Humphrey Bogart died not long after the show's open his name got replaced with Sammy Davis's, so the rot already set in. Can anyone think of one name, one name from today that could stand squarely and proudly in the company of those first six?
And today what will soon be called RENDELL UNIVERSITY (UGGGGGH!!!!!) is opening, and Center City SWARMS with arts students ready to achieve the double-advantage of bankrupting themselves now and in the future. There is something irksome about a great downtown being a mere campus. But for all the would-be Picassos everywhere, for all their slathering on canvases and all their video walls, what is really irksome is that twenty years of RU classes will be lucky to turn out a tenth of a Renoir.
Whatever happened to barbers? As I had my hair cut by a fellow with tattoos I had to wonder. Barbers used to be guys named Geno or Rocco, who knew how to pat you on the back with a voice. "Hiya Charlie!" There was something reassuring in these beefy middle-aged guys calling everyone Charlie. They could talk sports without the current manner of being pretentious about it. They were sentimental guys too, in a good way. The place I frequent has relics of the former owner: opera posters and playbills, pictures of famous composers; he played the music all the time. Now it's what people must call "'XPN," commercial radio without commercials, but with an occasional quirky tune so that you'd never guess it had evil playlists. The faces have changed, too: now it's women and gays, and they're "unisex" too. How are we better without the camaraderie of a barbershop?
On the way home I passed (as I often do) the Curtis, its name a relic of a long defunct publishing empire, and it's no doubt a healthier-than-ever institution that's seen better days. No one struggles graduating from the Curtis. But no one changes the world either. That wasn't always so. Leonard Bernstein, after all, graduated from here (as did Samuel Barber and Gian Carlo Menotti, and a number of Bernstein contemporaries known mainly to the professional classical music buffs, like Vincent Persichetti and Lukas Foss). It had great teachers too, like Fritz Reiner, a bruising martinet -- and a brilliant conductor. Now it's the workmen of the trade, the cellists and trombonists who make their comfy union wages playing Brahms symphonies over and over ten hours a week, or the supporting singers at the Met, or maybe the star of a regional opera company. But has anyone from Curtis lit a spark in ages? And what does it say about our culture when an institution like this can be healthy and irrelevant at once?
On the way home I passed (as I often do) the Curtis, its name a relic of a long defunct publishing empire, and it's no doubt a healthier-than-ever institution that's seen better days. No one struggles graduating from the Curtis. But no one changes the world either. That wasn't always so. Leonard Bernstein, after all, graduated from here (as did Samuel Barber and Gian Carlo Menotti, and a number of Bernstein contemporaries known mainly to the professional classical music buffs, like Vincent Persichetti and Lukas Foss). It had great teachers too, like Fritz Reiner, a bruising martinet -- and a brilliant conductor. Now it's the workmen of the trade, the cellists and trombonists who make their comfy union wages playing Brahms symphonies over and over ten hours a week, or the supporting singers at the Met, or maybe the star of a regional opera company. But has anyone from Curtis lit a spark in ages? And what does it say about our culture when an institution like this can be healthy and irrelevant at once?
Police evacuated 450 passengers from a German train after the discovery of a fake bomb, weeks after suitcase bombs failed to explode on two other trains.
Another reason for Germans to get mad that taking the RIGHT side on Iraq didn't insulate their already thick behinds.
Another reason for Germans to get mad that taking the RIGHT side on Iraq didn't insulate their already thick behinds.
BRENTCORP reports:
Hitchens Gives the Finger to Maher's Audience for 'Frivolous' Jeering of Bush
Now, this being BRENTCORP, does that make him a hero or a villain? We say a hero -- it was just Chris's version of PATRIOTIC GORE.
(Via the usual KLO)
Hitchens Gives the Finger to Maher's Audience for 'Frivolous' Jeering of Bush
Now, this being BRENTCORP, does that make him a hero or a villain? We say a hero -- it was just Chris's version of PATRIOTIC GORE.
(Via the usual KLO)
The Spanish government said on Friday that it would send 800-1,000 soldiers to join the United Nations peacekeeping mission in Lebanon.
And at the first sound of gunfire they run home screaming?
And at the first sound of gunfire they run home screaming?
The people who print more empty-calorie rags then anyone except the TWXSTERS and SI fold a couple, it says here due to "competition", but someone gives another reason:
In addition, industry observers felt both of the folded Hearst magazines were highly derivative of magazines already on the market.
Where would magazine publishers be without copying?
In addition, industry observers felt both of the folded Hearst magazines were highly derivative of magazines already on the market.
Where would magazine publishers be without copying?
Friday, August 25, 2006
OH oh, the Feds are going after phone companies looking for an excuse to hike their rates.
Don't businesspoops ever do anything that's morally and ethically right?
Don't businesspoops ever do anything that's morally and ethically right?
Larry "Greed is Good" Kudlow, a voice of CNBC (so those BANNER ADS remind us -- as if that's an honor), accuses the Feds of "SOVIET-STYLE CENTRAL PLANNING"!
And how's your friend Dick "$187.5 Million is Too Little [Larry Kudlow]" Grasso doing?
And how's your friend Dick "$187.5 Million is Too Little [Larry Kudlow]" Grasso doing?
Nagin criticizes World Trade Center rebuilding
TRANSLATION: I'm not responsible!
I would say some people ought to think before they talk but if they're public officials they may have nothing to think with.
TRANSLATION: I'm not responsible!
I would say some people ought to think before they talk but if they're public officials they may have nothing to think with.
I HATE G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE
BLOGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE
BLOGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Businessmen have engaged in a non-stop campaign to destroy our cities for decades, a trend that continues unabated. Why do businessmen think they excuse themselves for misbehavior when taking cowardly PC positions to the left of Howard Dean?
P. S. The Bon-Ton probably now does not have a single downtown department store in its chain -- and that's no accident; having lived in central Pennsylvania I know it always seems to close downtown stores when it acquires them. The good news is it's having trouble swallowing its latest acquisition.
P. S. The Bon-Ton probably now does not have a single downtown department store in its chain -- and that's no accident; having lived in central Pennsylvania I know it always seems to close downtown stores when it acquires them. The good news is it's having trouble swallowing its latest acquisition.
We must ask again: If RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so vastly underpaid for MySpace why isn't His stock going up?
(Via IWantMedia.com)
(Via IWantMedia.com)
A mutiny in professional college football:
Will the new clock rules speed up the game? The first new clock rule states the clock will start when the ball is kicked, not when the receiving team touches it. The other rule states the game clock begins on a change of possession when the ball is ready for play.
The new changes are expected to shorten games about 10 to 24 plays a game, which could affect statistics, records and end-of-game situations. Which is why the changes have rankled plenty of coaches before the first second of the season's clock has ticked.
"I don't particularly like it because I think it's all geared to speed up the game for television. Television, I think, is dominating everything we do," Penn State coach Joe Paterno said.
Paterno's suggestion? Cut some commercials.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Will the new clock rules speed up the game? The first new clock rule states the clock will start when the ball is kicked, not when the receiving team touches it. The other rule states the game clock begins on a change of possession when the ball is ready for play.
The new changes are expected to shorten games about 10 to 24 plays a game, which could affect statistics, records and end-of-game situations. Which is why the changes have rankled plenty of coaches before the first second of the season's clock has ticked.
"I don't particularly like it because I think it's all geared to speed up the game for television. Television, I think, is dominating everything we do," Penn State coach Joe Paterno said.
Paterno's suggestion? Cut some commercials.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
So -- it was Indians who were detained!
Thanks holy cockroaches for catching others in your crossfire!
Thanks holy cockroaches for catching others in your crossfire!
Who'd have ever associated the notorious word "malaise" with EBAY?
Now if only we could associate the word with G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE and its suddenly conniptious BLOGGER!
Now if only we could associate the word with G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE and its suddenly conniptious BLOGGER!
In 1997, CNN's Peter Arnett was granted permission to interview bin Laden in Afghanistan and an Al Qaeda film crew simultaneously filmed the encounter.
Schuster said that it was not by chance that CNN gained the scoop, adding: "The first time he did full-scale interviews, bin Laden and his people were weighing up should he be on CNN, should he be on the BBC or should he be on CBS show 60 Minutes.
"They were savvy enough to say that the audience that they wanted to reach was CNN's international audience and its audience in the US."
Why not Lou Dobbs or Larry King?
Osama, what economic impact do you think your terrorist activities will have on the world?
Sammy, if you had one building you’d like to blow up, what would it be?
Come to think of it, we know why he chose Peter Arnett -- he was speaking to a sympathetic person.
Although Mike Wallace would have been every bit as good.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
Schuster said that it was not by chance that CNN gained the scoop, adding: "The first time he did full-scale interviews, bin Laden and his people were weighing up should he be on CNN, should he be on the BBC or should he be on CBS show 60 Minutes.
"They were savvy enough to say that the audience that they wanted to reach was CNN's international audience and its audience in the US."
Why not Lou Dobbs or Larry King?
Osama, what economic impact do you think your terrorist activities will have on the world?
Sammy, if you had one building you’d like to blow up, what would it be?
Come to think of it, we know why he chose Peter Arnett -- he was speaking to a sympathetic person.
Although Mike Wallace would have been every bit as good.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
So Pete -- this year's going to be the same as '94, only Republicans will stay home and Democrats will RUSH to the polls to SWEEP Speaker Babs into power and Dubya into IMPEACHMENT!
We recall, Pete, that few hacks got the '94 election right; one reason the luxury news suites were in such a funeral mode was because they honestly didn't expect it. Now these same hacks are saying their friends will rout the GOP. Never trust the hacks when they talk CW, which is all the time.
We recall, Pete, that few hacks got the '94 election right; one reason the luxury news suites were in such a funeral mode was because they honestly didn't expect it. Now these same hacks are saying their friends will rout the GOP. Never trust the hacks when they talk CW, which is all the time.
Another waste of our time:
As they did with CBS' Dan Rather for years, conservative Republicans see Couric as "liberal" and "biased," while Democrats, independents and liberal Republicans gave favorable opinions.
So what does this vaunted Pe-ew poll prove? It proves that liberals love the network news and conservatives hate it. We need a poll to prove this? And we need USAOKAY!!!!! to waste our time "reporting" it?
As they did with CBS' Dan Rather for years, conservative Republicans see Couric as "liberal" and "biased," while Democrats, independents and liberal Republicans gave favorable opinions.
So what does this vaunted Pe-ew poll prove? It proves that liberals love the network news and conservatives hate it. We need a poll to prove this? And we need USAOKAY!!!!! to waste our time "reporting" it?
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Earlier today the Slashdottians got in high dudgeon when they learned Bugmeister Bill's Vista won't play HD discs. Now His empire says it will, which tells us the Bug knows a lot of people own computers -- and DVDs.
Israel just got two "nuclear-capable" subs from Germany, and some Democrats are not amused:
Winfried Nachtwei, national security spokesman for the Greens, said the decision was wrong because Germany had obtained no guarantee the submarines would not be used to carry nuclear weapons.
"This red line should not be crossed," Nachtwei was quoted as saying by the newspaper Taz.
Some Democrats crossed the red line a long time ago.
David Menashri, an Israeli expert on Iran, said Tehran is clearly determined to obtain nuclear weapons and "the purchase of additional Dolphin submarines by Israel is a small footnote in this context."
What also makes Tehran dangerous, Beaver said, is that it may not understand the consequences of carrying out a nuclear strike.
"They (Iran) have a belligerent leadership and that's why Israel is prudent in ensuring that it has that deterrent capability," Beaver said. "What they (the submarines) are is a very good insurance policy."
The problem is, 1. Either Iran does not understand the consequences of carrying out a nuclear strike, or 2. It does.
Either way, will Chamberlainism really help?
(Corrected 8/25 at 9:10 a.m. after I found out I was linked on REAL CLEAR POLITICS. [I called them "nuclear subs".] Thannnnnnnk YOU RCP!)
Winfried Nachtwei, national security spokesman for the Greens, said the decision was wrong because Germany had obtained no guarantee the submarines would not be used to carry nuclear weapons.
"This red line should not be crossed," Nachtwei was quoted as saying by the newspaper Taz.
Some Democrats crossed the red line a long time ago.
David Menashri, an Israeli expert on Iran, said Tehran is clearly determined to obtain nuclear weapons and "the purchase of additional Dolphin submarines by Israel is a small footnote in this context."
What also makes Tehran dangerous, Beaver said, is that it may not understand the consequences of carrying out a nuclear strike.
"They (Iran) have a belligerent leadership and that's why Israel is prudent in ensuring that it has that deterrent capability," Beaver said. "What they (the submarines) are is a very good insurance policy."
The problem is, 1. Either Iran does not understand the consequences of carrying out a nuclear strike, or 2. It does.
Either way, will Chamberlainism really help?
(Corrected 8/25 at 9:10 a.m. after I found out I was linked on REAL CLEAR POLITICS. [I called them "nuclear subs".] Thannnnnnnk YOU RCP!)
If anyone who were to skim me (doubtful with twelve hits thus far today) were to think my last post harsh, I say, read this review of the newly reformulated The Fantasticks, which got its start when Maynard Ferguson was 32. Among the words Ben Brantley uses are "resuscitation", "embalmed", "corpse" and "formaldehyde" -- all in the first two grafs. That he ends his review by almost praising the show -- and that must owe exclusively to the music: if its book is a mishmash of college-level artsy-fartsy even its detractors must admit the score is an agreeable and even memorable one -- does not negate his central scorn. This is why I complain about Maynard Ferguson, and what passes for classical music, and fillum, and the thea-TAH; today's culture is not so much performed as preserved, or else it is a petered-out blast from the past, or else it is all grinding machinery and highest high-tech employed largely to hide the emptiness of its soul.
Maynard Ferguson, who over a long career struggled to get the ugliest notes out of a trumpet he could, and played junk music in keeping with an era of disco hits, and (along with his former boss, that master of pretension Stan Kenton) helped launch a whole generation of high-school and college "jazz" bands playing Chuck Mangione, and who must be counted a reason the music became a corpse a long time ago, has died. RIP.
In other news of our favorite retailer, Wal-Mart has its own branch of CHINA'S COMMUNIST PARTY!
I do know, guys -- I'd be girding for a TAKEOVER!
I do know, guys -- I'd be girding for a TAKEOVER!
OOPS:
Apple recalls laptop batteries
And we thought Mike "FORE!" Dell cornered the market.
They're a...SONY too!
Apple recalls laptop batteries
And we thought Mike "FORE!" Dell cornered the market.
They're a...SONY too!
How HIGH-TECH: RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S possibly creating a magazine for His insanely valuable etc., etc. social-networking site.
Stock still hasn't gone up?
Stock still hasn't gone up?
Con-SERRRRRRRR-va-tives! Time to GET MAD:
Last fall, University of Miami janitor Julio Ramos made $6.70 an hour cleaning the buildings on campus. Next week, thanks to a union contract he helped negotiate, he'll be making $9.15 an hour -- a nearly 40 percent pay hike.
''Without the union, we couldn't have done this,'' said Ramos, 48, who has worked for contractor Unicco Services at UM for five years.
Under the contract ratified by Ramos and other workers Wednesday, he will also get two weeks vacation, three personal days and healthcare coverage that costs him $13 an month.
We forget that before they became associated with politicking and glorified loafing on the job unions DID something. There's no reason to think unions couldn't come back -- if they'd campaign for employees and not for PRESIDENTS.
Last fall, University of Miami janitor Julio Ramos made $6.70 an hour cleaning the buildings on campus. Next week, thanks to a union contract he helped negotiate, he'll be making $9.15 an hour -- a nearly 40 percent pay hike.
''Without the union, we couldn't have done this,'' said Ramos, 48, who has worked for contractor Unicco Services at UM for five years.
Under the contract ratified by Ramos and other workers Wednesday, he will also get two weeks vacation, three personal days and healthcare coverage that costs him $13 an month.
We forget that before they became associated with politicking and glorified loafing on the job unions DID something. There's no reason to think unions couldn't come back -- if they'd campaign for employees and not for PRESIDENTS.
A DEEP-THINKING ECONOMIST says the HOUSING BUST will send us into a "DEEP", "NASTY" RECESSION!!!!!
OR:
Roubini is a professor of economics at New York University and was a senior economist in the White House and the Treasury Department in the late 1990s.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
OR:
Roubini is a professor of economics at New York University and was a senior economist in the White House and the Treasury Department in the late 1990s.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Dick Schick -- for the moment we'll relent and call him Richard Schickel, but we can't forget the tricks he's played on his readers -- has published a biography (through RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!?) of Elia Kazan, and one sentence of Charlotte Allen's review struck us instantly:
It is not until Schickel reaches the 1940s, when Kazan had his first Broadway hit with The Skin of Our Teeth (1942), a Thornton Wilder opus about the history of the world that is almost as dated as Thunder Rock but was regarded as deep literature back then, and his first Hollywood success with A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (1945) that Schickel's book finally becomes anecdote-rich and engrossing.
This "history of the world" business is news to us, for heretofore we hadn't the foggiest idea what it was about, except that it's long been the favorite of certain grade-double-A eggheads, and is quite unreadable. What is it about, anyway? War, the Bible, Atlantic City? It unfolds like one long and relentlessly unfunny practical joke on the audience. And yet it was acclaimed a masterpiece, and inevitably won the P-Ulitzer prize (though the acclaim was not unanimous), and it had an extraordinary cast, with Fredric March, and Tallulah Bankhead, and E. G. Marshall, and Montgomery Clift (THAT must have been something), and even little Dickie Van Patten as a telegraph boy; and if it weren't for colleges doing it to death no one would remember it, or want to.
It is not until Schickel reaches the 1940s, when Kazan had his first Broadway hit with The Skin of Our Teeth (1942), a Thornton Wilder opus about the history of the world that is almost as dated as Thunder Rock but was regarded as deep literature back then, and his first Hollywood success with A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (1945) that Schickel's book finally becomes anecdote-rich and engrossing.
This "history of the world" business is news to us, for heretofore we hadn't the foggiest idea what it was about, except that it's long been the favorite of certain grade-double-A eggheads, and is quite unreadable. What is it about, anyway? War, the Bible, Atlantic City? It unfolds like one long and relentlessly unfunny practical joke on the audience. And yet it was acclaimed a masterpiece, and inevitably won the P-Ulitzer prize (though the acclaim was not unanimous), and it had an extraordinary cast, with Fredric March, and Tallulah Bankhead, and E. G. Marshall, and Montgomery Clift (THAT must have been something), and even little Dickie Van Patten as a telegraph boy; and if it weren't for colleges doing it to death no one would remember it, or want to.
The SHAKESPEARE of the AGE THUNDERS against CDs, leading the Guardian to observe (in the LAST GRAF, where such things often occur):
Referring to sound technology, Mike Howlett, who chairs the Music Producers Guild, said: "If there is a problem then it lies with the quality of the music; therefore Dylan seems to be confusing quality of performance with sound quality. The top end of digital equipment gives a highly accurate reproduction of the signal coming in, so it is neither helping nor hindering the sound." But he said the sound of analogue equipment gave "some interesting distortions", which lent music "a certain character".
TRANSLATION: Old music has character. Newly-recorded music does not.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
Referring to sound technology, Mike Howlett, who chairs the Music Producers Guild, said: "If there is a problem then it lies with the quality of the music; therefore Dylan seems to be confusing quality of performance with sound quality. The top end of digital equipment gives a highly accurate reproduction of the signal coming in, so it is neither helping nor hindering the sound." But he said the sound of analogue equipment gave "some interesting distortions", which lent music "a certain character".
TRANSLATION: Old music has character. Newly-recorded music does not.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
We're surprised the hacks haven't done their usual gleeful dance of superiority in our faces with this one. We wouldn't get excited: big business has become a crossbreed of JE$$E and Kenny Boy, and we don't like Wal-Mart anyway.
We suspect in the ever evolving history of space research the controversy over Pluto will be less substantial than a small asteroid, and perhaps as relevant.
(Via Yahoo! News)
(Via Yahoo! News)
Mickey D's is like government: does it really matter who's in charge?
Figures: the guy resigned because he wasn't going to be CEO, which would have gone well with those three-month vacations at THE GAMES.
Maybe his successor can spend more time devising fake blogs -- er, fake blogs.
Figures: the guy resigned because he wasn't going to be CEO, which would have gone well with those three-month vacations at THE GAMES.
Maybe his successor can spend more time devising fake blogs -- er, fake blogs.
About 20 Democratic members of Congress will hold a town hall meeting in Bay St. Louis on Monday to hear residents' complaints that insurance companies have bungled their claims for damages caused by Hurricane Katrina. [Emphasis added]
Presumably Republican members think Big Insurance did hunky-dory, which is why DEMOCRATS are holding what some news hacks may soon call a "hearing." Of course with the Dems' "concern" for Big Insurance comes other -- less desirable things.
Republicans for corruption; Democrats for defeatism. What a choice.
Presumably Republican members think Big Insurance did hunky-dory, which is why DEMOCRATS are holding what some news hacks may soon call a "hearing." Of course with the Dems' "concern" for Big Insurance comes other -- less desirable things.
Republicans for corruption; Democrats for defeatism. What a choice.
How would taking Ford private solve its problems? Yes, you wouldn't have news hacks and their not-too-distant cousins the sales -- ANALYSTS screaming BANKRUPTCY. But who'd provide the impetus to improve?
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
SEN. MACACA APOLOGIZES!
I don't know, Mac -- this puts it back on A01 -- and into the hands of JIM WEBB'S OPERATIVES!
I don't know, Mac -- this puts it back on A01 -- and into the hands of JIM WEBB'S OPERATIVES!
Jets running back Kevan Barlow apologized to 49ers coach Mike Nolan for comparing him to Adolf Hitler in a newspaper interview.
Either 1. The bar's getting lower for prospective Hitlers or 2. Someone's preparing an "autobiography."
Either 1. The bar's getting lower for prospective Hitlers or 2. Someone's preparing an "autobiography."
Roll the eyeballs: the TWXSTERS place house ads for their (get this) PG-13 TENTPOLE (the one with the superhero who got Kryptonited at the B. O.) on their Cartoon Network -- and the Advertising Industry Wet Noodle Punishment Board whaps them with a wet noodle for SELLING TO CHILDREN!
How much time do the MadAve cretins waste on PR like this? No one believes advertisers, no one believes they police themselves, no one believes JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP, and no one believes such stunts are even FIG LEAVES.
And in MORE proof this doesn't even qualify as a JOKE:
New York, NY – August 23, 2006 – The Children’s Advertising Review Unit (CARU) of the Council of Better Business Bureaus, Inc., has recommended Warner Brothers refrain from advertising “Superman Returns,” rated PG-13, during television children’s programming hours. [Emphasis added]
The tentpole has ALL BUT ENDED ITS THEATRICAL RUN. This is FLAGRANT POSING by the ADVERTISING FRAUDS.
How much time do the MadAve cretins waste on PR like this? No one believes advertisers, no one believes they police themselves, no one believes JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP, and no one believes such stunts are even FIG LEAVES.
And in MORE proof this doesn't even qualify as a JOKE:
New York, NY – August 23, 2006 – The Children’s Advertising Review Unit (CARU) of the Council of Better Business Bureaus, Inc., has recommended Warner Brothers refrain from advertising “Superman Returns,” rated PG-13, during television children’s programming hours. [Emphasis added]
The tentpole has ALL BUT ENDED ITS THEATRICAL RUN. This is FLAGRANT POSING by the ADVERTISING FRAUDS.
Reuters: 12 passengers arrested after plane diverted back to Amsterdam (MESS "breaking news" hed)
Buddhists?
P. S. I guess it wasn't THAT breaking-newsy.
Buddhists?
P. S. I guess it wasn't THAT breaking-newsy.
A HUGE AND UNPREDICTABLE SURPRISE:
Study: TV ad barrage may make viewers tune out
And not just here -- elsewhere!
Bird flu? TV ADVERTISING!
Study: TV ad barrage may make viewers tune out
And not just here -- elsewhere!
Bird flu? TV ADVERTISING!
Keeping in mind this IS Patriotic Gore:
"Advertisers have to take responsibility for their ads," said Mr. Bozell. "I've been told by several network executives that advertisers make them do it [run the edgy content]."
Schmoozing and "edgy" go together -- especially on OUR MONEY.
"Advertisers have to take responsibility for their ads," said Mr. Bozell. "I've been told by several network executives that advertisers make them do it [run the edgy content]."
Schmoozing and "edgy" go together -- especially on OUR MONEY.
SUMNER FIRES THE COUCH JUMPER!
He condones so much "unacceptable behavior" in His empire you have to wonder why He picked on poor TOM.
He condones so much "unacceptable behavior" in His empire you have to wonder why He picked on poor TOM.
How humiliating: Gov. Murk(owski), who practically defines the term hack pol, finished third in a three-way race.
Can he invent himself another job? Or will he have to rely on his daughter?
Can he invent himself another job? Or will he have to rely on his daughter?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
A Lebanese student suspected of planting a train bomb that failed to explode had contacts in Hamburg, authorities said Tuesday, the latest link to the northern port city where three of the Sept. 11 suicide pilots prepared for their attacks.
The planned attack here stunned Germans who thought the country's vehement opposition to the Iraq war would insulate it from becoming a terror target almost five years after the attacks on Washington and New York.
Some people are insulated to the point of having concrete skulls.
The planned attack here stunned Germans who thought the country's vehement opposition to the Iraq war would insulate it from becoming a terror target almost five years after the attacks on Washington and New York.
Some people are insulated to the point of having concrete skulls.
Massachusetts' legisla-TORS work overtime:
This week the House of Representatives passed a bill that would make the garter snake the state reptile, which would bring the number of statutorily designated emblems to 51.
Well, at least they didn't raise taxes. But they will -- perhaps to pay for all those state emblems.
This week the House of Representatives passed a bill that would make the garter snake the state reptile, which would bring the number of statutorily designated emblems to 51.
Well, at least they didn't raise taxes. But they will -- perhaps to pay for all those state emblems.
LEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Republican Sen. Conrad Burns, whose re-election campaign is pressing for tighter immigration controls, referred to his house painter as "a nice little Guatemalan man" and suggested that worker as well as employees of a roofing company he hired might be in the country illegally.
"The other day, the little fella who does our maintenance work around the house, he's from Guatemala, and I said, 'Could I see your green card?'" Burns said at a June meeting recorded by Democrats. "And Hugo says, 'No.' I said, 'Oh gosh.'"
No doubt Conrad's an ass; but why must news hacks ALWAYS do their friends' BIDDING?
AOK ON A01 TOMORROW!
P. S. The nice thing about being the ASSociated Press is that when running campaign press releases you can ignore little things -- like, oh, what state Conrad represents. And what state would that happen to be, Mary? Oh, it appears in the NINTH GRAF? Well, not all of us are as smart as you CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES.
Republican Sen. Conrad Burns, whose re-election campaign is pressing for tighter immigration controls, referred to his house painter as "a nice little Guatemalan man" and suggested that worker as well as employees of a roofing company he hired might be in the country illegally.
"The other day, the little fella who does our maintenance work around the house, he's from Guatemala, and I said, 'Could I see your green card?'" Burns said at a June meeting recorded by Democrats. "And Hugo says, 'No.' I said, 'Oh gosh.'"
No doubt Conrad's an ass; but why must news hacks ALWAYS do their friends' BIDDING?
AOK ON A01 TOMORROW!
P. S. The nice thing about being the ASSociated Press is that when running campaign press releases you can ignore little things -- like, oh, what state Conrad represents. And what state would that happen to be, Mary? Oh, it appears in the NINTH GRAF? Well, not all of us are as smart as you CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES.
Thank God for little things:
At least Allen is now too old to kiss girls on screen: that is a relief.
P. S. We do suspect, however -- and we just tripped over this ourselves, twenty minutes after posting it -- that Stanley has been reviewing movies too long -- longer even than Woodster the Perv's been making CI-NE-MA:
Allen plays Splendini (aka Sid Waterman), an American magician appearing in London. For one of his tricks, a person's disappearance in a box, he asks a member of the audience to come onstage. At one performance, that person is a young American girl, Sondra, who is a college student aspiring to journalism. In that magic box she meets the spirit of a recently deceased London journalist who gives her a tip on a hot story.
I forgot to mention that previously we have seen a small ship bearing the newly dead into the Unknown, with Death at the helm. That journalist is aboard and is galled because he had a hot tip for a story that he now can't finish. He slips back to earth to pass the tip on to a reporter. Why he chooses this girl, and why Splendini then accompanies Sondra on her pursuit of the story, are only two of the oddities that this film asks us not to question.
We can answer these oddities quickly: 1. The girl is Scarlett Johansson (a hottie of the moment) and Splendini's THE SEX MACHINE (or rather the JEWISHY NEBBISHY SEX MACHINE); and 2. Splendini accompanies Sondra to prove to the world he can still DO IT.
Any more questions, Stan?
(Corrected at 5:10 p.m., no thanks to my own stupidity.)
At least Allen is now too old to kiss girls on screen: that is a relief.
P. S. We do suspect, however -- and we just tripped over this ourselves, twenty minutes after posting it -- that Stanley has been reviewing movies too long -- longer even than Woodster the Perv's been making CI-NE-MA:
Allen plays Splendini (aka Sid Waterman), an American magician appearing in London. For one of his tricks, a person's disappearance in a box, he asks a member of the audience to come onstage. At one performance, that person is a young American girl, Sondra, who is a college student aspiring to journalism. In that magic box she meets the spirit of a recently deceased London journalist who gives her a tip on a hot story.
I forgot to mention that previously we have seen a small ship bearing the newly dead into the Unknown, with Death at the helm. That journalist is aboard and is galled because he had a hot tip for a story that he now can't finish. He slips back to earth to pass the tip on to a reporter. Why he chooses this girl, and why Splendini then accompanies Sondra on her pursuit of the story, are only two of the oddities that this film asks us not to question.
We can answer these oddities quickly: 1. The girl is Scarlett Johansson (a hottie of the moment) and Splendini's THE SEX MACHINE (or rather the JEWISHY NEBBISHY SEX MACHINE); and 2. Splendini accompanies Sondra to prove to the world he can still DO IT.
Any more questions, Stan?
(Corrected at 5:10 p.m., no thanks to my own stupidity.)
Mayor Daley urged the City Council Tuesday to come to its senses and repeal a foie gras ban that has made Chicago an international laughingstock in restaurant circles.
An international laughingstock -- but think of all the geese it's saved!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
An international laughingstock -- but think of all the geese it's saved!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
DVRs help voters avoid campaign ads
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
Well! We just wanted to see what was on this AmSpec blog link, BUT:
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Some computers are PICKY!
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Congresspoops print out still MORE money for Katrina victims, and:
The White House is scrutinizing how federal aid is spent. [PFFH-HH-HH!!] "Should there be more requests, our job is to be sure it's based upon good data," says Donald Powell, federal coordinator of Gulf Coast rebuilding.
Some in Congress say enough is enough. "Not another dime should go," says Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo, one of 11 Republicans who opposed the largest spending bill last year. Others want offsets in the budget. "Maybe we should stop funding Radio Free Europe," says Rep. Jeb Hensarling, R-Texas. [Or your EARMARKS? NAHHHHHHHHHHH.]
The flow of money has some worried about precedents. Sen. Judd Gregg, R-N.H., budget committee chairman, says when floods struck his state in May, "people were wondering why they didn't get the same amount as Katrina" victims did.
Thank you, Congressluts; you've trained the public like Pavlov's dogs to go WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
The White House is scrutinizing how federal aid is spent. [PFFH-HH-HH!!] "Should there be more requests, our job is to be sure it's based upon good data," says Donald Powell, federal coordinator of Gulf Coast rebuilding.
Some in Congress say enough is enough. "Not another dime should go," says Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo, one of 11 Republicans who opposed the largest spending bill last year. Others want offsets in the budget. "Maybe we should stop funding Radio Free Europe," says Rep. Jeb Hensarling, R-Texas. [Or your EARMARKS? NAHHHHHHHHHHH.]
The flow of money has some worried about precedents. Sen. Judd Gregg, R-N.H., budget committee chairman, says when floods struck his state in May, "people were wondering why they didn't get the same amount as Katrina" victims did.
Thank you, Congressluts; you've trained the public like Pavlov's dogs to go WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Israeli reservists, fresh from fighting in southern Lebanon, demanded yesterday that Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert resign over what they describe as the debacle of the monthlong war with Hezbollah.
TICK...TICK...TICK....
Reservists told of insufficient provisions, of having no water in the summer heat and being forced to drink from canteens of dead Hezbollah guerrillas, shortages of combat equipment and indecisive orders.
TICK...TICK...TICK....
TICK...TICK...TICK....
Reservists told of insufficient provisions, of having no water in the summer heat and being forced to drink from canteens of dead Hezbollah guerrillas, shortages of combat equipment and indecisive orders.
TICK...TICK...TICK....
If Michael Moore had concentrated on projects like this rather than being a knee-jerk hyperliberal and professional hypocrite, maybe we wouldn't put him in the same tub-thumping tub as, say, Ann Coulter.
Abram Sauer writes about product placement for brandchannel.com. He lives in New York where a movie ticket costs US$ 10.75 [SIC].
The rag that told us THE DONALD was worth $200 BILLION or something and whose ghost slut turned LEGENDARY WELCH into a GOD unveils yet ANOTHER writer who MUST tell us GAWKER is a HITHITHIT without disclosing the details. Is it any wonder biznews reporting is as trustworthy as, oh, Kenny Boy?
And since we must mention something called brandchannel.com, here's "This Week's Lead Story":
Compelling reading, no doubt.
The rag that told us THE DONALD was worth $200 BILLION or something and whose ghost slut turned LEGENDARY WELCH into a GOD unveils yet ANOTHER writer who MUST tell us GAWKER is a HITHITHIT without disclosing the details. Is it any wonder biznews reporting is as trustworthy as, oh, Kenny Boy?
And since we must mention something called brandchannel.com, here's "This Week's Lead Story":
Compelling reading, no doubt.
George the Wonk, Chris Cuomo -- ESPNCorp Network News is turning into the Democratic Party!
Who'll be its nominee?
(Via the usual Romy)
Who'll be its nominee?
(Via the usual Romy)
And speaking of ArtsJournal.com, it links to a story that tells us THE TWXSTERS ARE STARTING A FIFTH MOVIE BRAND!
Why would ANYONE want to be the GM OF MOVIES? Isn't FOUR clunkers enough?
Why would ANYONE want to be the GM OF MOVIES? Isn't FOUR clunkers enough?
A writer ponders whether a jazz festival is really jazz:
As always, the festival was loaded with great Bay Area musicians: singer Claudia Villela, percussionist John Santos, trumpeters John Worley and Khalil Shaheed, trombonist Adam Theis, pianists Glen Pearson and Dahveed Behroozi, saxophonists Dayna Stevens and Dann Zinn, an explosive, rock-solid tenor player whose exchanges with trumpeter Julius Melendez made for some of Sunday afternoon's very best moments. (An admission: Zinn is my son's saxophone teacher.) [!]
Still, I didn't feel that pleasure-filled prickle of panic, which has sent me racing from stage to stage to sample the profusion of deep talent at past festivals. If you look at the lineups from recent years -- including the likes of Jason Moran, Greg Osby, Bobby Watson, Lizz Wright, Bobby Sanabria, Geri Allen, Mary Stallings, Babatunde Lea -- this year's came up short, jazz-wise.
For the thousandth time: maybe these are all GREAT performers, but I've never heard of any of them -- I suspect most in the Bay Area haven't heard of them -- and that's the problem for all the arts: great technical proficiency, perhaps, but not a single spark of the inspiration and uniqueness that make for enduring art. Anybody can play a trumpet; only one person could be Satchmo.
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
As always, the festival was loaded with great Bay Area musicians: singer Claudia Villela, percussionist John Santos, trumpeters John Worley and Khalil Shaheed, trombonist Adam Theis, pianists Glen Pearson and Dahveed Behroozi, saxophonists Dayna Stevens and Dann Zinn, an explosive, rock-solid tenor player whose exchanges with trumpeter Julius Melendez made for some of Sunday afternoon's very best moments. (An admission: Zinn is my son's saxophone teacher.) [!]
Still, I didn't feel that pleasure-filled prickle of panic, which has sent me racing from stage to stage to sample the profusion of deep talent at past festivals. If you look at the lineups from recent years -- including the likes of Jason Moran, Greg Osby, Bobby Watson, Lizz Wright, Bobby Sanabria, Geri Allen, Mary Stallings, Babatunde Lea -- this year's came up short, jazz-wise.
For the thousandth time: maybe these are all GREAT performers, but I've never heard of any of them -- I suspect most in the Bay Area haven't heard of them -- and that's the problem for all the arts: great technical proficiency, perhaps, but not a single spark of the inspiration and uniqueness that make for enduring art. Anybody can play a trumpet; only one person could be Satchmo.
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
Verizon Communications Inc. is imposing a new surcharge on high-speed Internet service just as customers were set to receive lower bills thanks to a decision last year to deregulate the service.
Who says the phone biz doesn't have the CABLE BIZ in it?
Who says the phone biz doesn't have the CABLE BIZ in it?
It is a measure of the news hacks' excellence that only now, as the NFL's commish steps toward his richly deserved sunset, only now, that the loudmouth Bryant Gumbel said something, only NOW do we run a lengthy piece on him and his "achievements."
More such COURAGE, hacks, and we won't need a news biz.
More such COURAGE, hacks, and we won't need a news biz.
Monday, August 21, 2006
A proud member of THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS shows its allegiance:
Cue the clydesdales: Anheuser-Busch is getting into the content business.
The country's largest brewer is launching its own in-house film and TV production company that will make humorous shorts and sitcom-type programs to be broadcast over the internet and to cellphones, according to four people familiar with the matter, and could branch into full-length films.
I'll say it again: the top priority of many consumer-products execs is to SCHMOOZE.
Bud, stick to brewing.
Cue the clydesdales: Anheuser-Busch is getting into the content business.
The country's largest brewer is launching its own in-house film and TV production company that will make humorous shorts and sitcom-type programs to be broadcast over the internet and to cellphones, according to four people familiar with the matter, and could branch into full-length films.
I'll say it again: the top priority of many consumer-products execs is to SCHMOOZE.
Bud, stick to brewing.
PAT BUCHANAN WARNS OF 'STATE OF EMERGENCY'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, and all he has to do is step into a room.
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Yep, and all he has to do is step into a room.
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
A big fat OH-oh for golf's future:
Interesting thing. I save recordings of choice golf and tennis tourneys, and, while I have saved a number of recordings of Pete Sampras's victories, I have saved very few of Tiger's because they're usually pretty dull.
Interesting thing. I save recordings of choice golf and tennis tourneys, and, while I have saved a number of recordings of Pete Sampras's victories, I have saved very few of Tiger's because they're usually pretty dull.
Little Miss Sunshine
America's obsession with JonBenet Ramsey.
I'm not obsessed. How many others share my non-obsession? Maybe you HACKS are obsessed because you think it a PROFIT CENTER.
Look before you generalize, STALE.COM.
America's obsession with JonBenet Ramsey.
I'm not obsessed. How many others share my non-obsession? Maybe you HACKS are obsessed because you think it a PROFIT CENTER.
Look before you generalize, STALE.COM.
The arrest of bomb plotters in London has helped buoy President Bush's approval rating and the prospects for Republican congressional candidates in November.
All together, news hacks, liberals, DEMOCRATS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
All together, news hacks, liberals, DEMOCRATS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Unlike the Useless News-style rankings of colleges for their alleged excellence, rankings of party schools may be slightly more reliable, as they're based on -- experience.
Hooray for the Texas Longhorns, national football AND party champions!
Hooray for the Texas Longhorns, national football AND party champions!
BREAKING NEWS: RAMSEY SUSPECT ALLOWED TO DRINK CHAMPAGNE WHEN HE BOARDED PLANE
BREAKING NEWS: RAMSEY SUSPECT'S ONBOARD DINNER INCLUDED PATÉ AND FRIED KING PRAWNS
BREAKING NEWS: RAMSEY SUSPECT HAS HAD CHAMPAGNE, A BEER AND GLASS OF WINE ON PLANE
Okay, which of the BIG THREE OF CABLE NEWS did this? Does it matter?
BREAKING NEWS: RAMSEY SUSPECT'S ONBOARD DINNER INCLUDED PATÉ AND FRIED KING PRAWNS
BREAKING NEWS: RAMSEY SUSPECT HAS HAD CHAMPAGNE, A BEER AND GLASS OF WINE ON PLANE
Okay, which of the BIG THREE OF CABLE NEWS did this? Does it matter?
Another day on the job for one of the WEB'S GREAT PIONEERS:
YES...! [Jonah Goldberg]
I saw the William Shatner Roast last night on Comedy Central. I thought there were moments of true, unbridled hilarity. I also thought it got too blue over time. The gay George Takei jokes just got stale after a while, for example. Alas, I'm back on dial-up today and I have a pile of work to do. So more to come later. I just didn't want 1,000 "Did you see the Shatner Roast ...?" emails to pile up while I wasn't on line.
Posted at 10:58 AM
With any justice it'll be 10,000 emails.
YES...! [Jonah Goldberg]
I saw the William Shatner Roast last night on Comedy Central. I thought there were moments of true, unbridled hilarity. I also thought it got too blue over time. The gay George Takei jokes just got stale after a while, for example. Alas, I'm back on dial-up today and I have a pile of work to do. So more to come later. I just didn't want 1,000 "Did you see the Shatner Roast ...?" emails to pile up while I wasn't on line.
Posted at 10:58 AM
With any justice it'll be 10,000 emails.
OOPS:
AN URGENT investigation was launched last night after Israel accused Britain of indirectly supplying Hezbollah terrorists with military night-vision equipment that helped them to target Israeli soldiers in Lebanon.
TONY! Where are you hiding NOW?
When the export was agreed, Mike O’Brien, then Junior Minister at the Foreign Office, told the Commons: “The goods are for the use on the Iran-Afghanistan border against heroin smugglers.” He said there was “no risk of these goods being diverted for use by the Iranian military”.
So we really think we can make the Iranians heel by YAKYAKYAKKING, huh CHAMBERLAINS?
AN URGENT investigation was launched last night after Israel accused Britain of indirectly supplying Hezbollah terrorists with military night-vision equipment that helped them to target Israeli soldiers in Lebanon.
TONY! Where are you hiding NOW?
When the export was agreed, Mike O’Brien, then Junior Minister at the Foreign Office, told the Commons: “The goods are for the use on the Iran-Afghanistan border against heroin smugglers.” He said there was “no risk of these goods being diverted for use by the Iranian military”.
So we really think we can make the Iranians heel by YAKYAKYAKKING, huh CHAMBERLAINS?
"I saw a video once ... that's about 5 to 7 minutes long and consists entirely of John Edwards fixing his hair in preparation for a recorded speech. He pushes it, has it sprayed for him, teases it, fluffs it, has it sprayed some more ... stares at it for a long while, fluffs it, primps it, smiles into the mirror," recounts js. "Not a man's man, nor a ladies' man. Or a man that I'd want running the world's most powerful country." Those who are curious can view the video here.
Would Marty endorse HIM?
(Sorry for the WONKETTE, but that's all Google had.)
So! The bus-and-truck companies are running on empty!
There's an explanation -- and it doesn't require three pages or 2,374 words: the newer shows stink; the successes rely on overblown spectacle (hum a tune from WICKED); and even in Branson East there aren't stars anymore. Who wants to pay $150 for THAT?
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
There's an explanation -- and it doesn't require three pages or 2,374 words: the newer shows stink; the successes rely on overblown spectacle (hum a tune from WICKED); and even in Branson East there aren't stars anymore. Who wants to pay $150 for THAT?
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
It is somehow fitting that the Romy entry below Mr. Rosenthal's deals with that whiny zillionaire jackass KORN. Give me those brave men who gave their lives to plant the flag on Iwo Jima (and the photog who risked his to snap the shot) over some crybaby megalomaniac who throws a keyboard when all the gods refuse to line up in a row and bow to him. People like the KORN seem so common they make me wonder if the war's sacrifice was worth it.
Words cannot do: We meekly salute Joe Rosenthal, the man who took this immortal picture.
The Chronicle put the obit on A-1. That's EXACTLY where it belongs.
(Via Romy)
When someone has "a contrarian view" (in this case, for $50-a-barrel oil) there must be a contrary view. It is also a danger sign when it appears in a CW avatar like BizWeek. That said, the reason we get "contrarian views" is that so many people in authority must take the non-contrarian view.
Every time a black laments the "HIP" Stepin Fetchit culture I hang my head. We, the people, have no control over our culture; the RUPERTS and SUMNERS do. Even if we did, how much good would it avail when millions of multiple generations have lived (and died) this snazzy rotten life? No, let us rail against the off-rhyme minstrel show, always mindful nonetheless it will do not one iota of good.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Already the hacks are burping of another Tiger Slam. As they said in Shakespeare's plays, it's all one to us. Stunts like the TWXSTERS' infernal Snake campaign teach us that publicity has an airy sound and a gaseous core, and building an achievement out of sports is just another word bubble. We don't care if Tiger achieves a real slam or a fake slam as the only people to win are Tiger and his CEO coterie and the sports flacks grasping at the hem of his Nike shirt.
Using Nearly Nude Pictures, Child Sex Sites Test Laws
We may ask, when do our BIGMEDIA friends take care of THE LAST TABOO?
We may ask, when do our BIGMEDIA friends take care of THE LAST TABOO?
Our own curiosity at a fever pitch, we had to go the official campaign site of Lenny Downie's stooge and see what kind of ideas he has. Well, he has ideas (pardon the length):
For more than two years, I’ve been proposing a formula that might lead to the end of our occupation of Iraq. The first step would be for this administration to say unequivocally that our country has no desire to occupy Iraq in the long term. It has not done so. And I am mindful of the many comments by those who pushed so hard for this war to the effect that we should set up a long term “McCarthurian” [SIC!!!!!] Regency in Baghdad. We should say clearly to the people of Iraq and the region that we have no plans for a long term presence in the country. This will take the moral high-ground away from the insurgency in the eyes of the Muslim World, and it will diffuse the concerns of some Iraqis that we plan to stay for good. This will also put the Iraqi government on notice that it must cooperate and bring order to its people. We should not build permanent bases in Iraq. Right now from all reports there are four permanent bases being built there without much discussion among the American public. We don’t need them. If we’re leaving, it sends the wrong message if we’re building them. In the short term, we could move the bulk of our troops home while positioning some units out of the country but within the region; strong possibilities from discussions that I have had with military leaders could be Jordan and Kuwait, until a fuller measure of stability takes hold in the region. And I believe that the Congress should make sure of this by banning any expenditures for permanent bases in Iraq.
The second step would be for us to begin immediate discussions with those countries that are culturally and historically invested in Iraq, and arguably aligned with us, to become overtly involved in the diplomatic solution. They could take responsibility at some level for future stability among Iraq’s competing factions. The countries that immediately come to mind are Jordan, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, and those sorts of countries. I believe this is doable, but quite frankly it’s going to be more difficult in the wake of our failure to take similar steps during the early stages of the recent incidents [?] in Lebanon. You might recall that during those first days of that action, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Bahrain all condemned Hezbollah, as did the Beirut government, initially, for inciting the Israeli attacks. By not taking advantage of these gestures we lost a great opportunity to bring some long term stability in both countries.
TRANSLATION: Cut and walk, and hope the Arabs can keep the peace there. Sure, Jimmy, sure.
For more than two years, I’ve been proposing a formula that might lead to the end of our occupation of Iraq. The first step would be for this administration to say unequivocally that our country has no desire to occupy Iraq in the long term. It has not done so. And I am mindful of the many comments by those who pushed so hard for this war to the effect that we should set up a long term “McCarthurian” [SIC!!!!!] Regency in Baghdad. We should say clearly to the people of Iraq and the region that we have no plans for a long term presence in the country. This will take the moral high-ground away from the insurgency in the eyes of the Muslim World, and it will diffuse the concerns of some Iraqis that we plan to stay for good. This will also put the Iraqi government on notice that it must cooperate and bring order to its people. We should not build permanent bases in Iraq. Right now from all reports there are four permanent bases being built there without much discussion among the American public. We don’t need them. If we’re leaving, it sends the wrong message if we’re building them. In the short term, we could move the bulk of our troops home while positioning some units out of the country but within the region; strong possibilities from discussions that I have had with military leaders could be Jordan and Kuwait, until a fuller measure of stability takes hold in the region. And I believe that the Congress should make sure of this by banning any expenditures for permanent bases in Iraq.
The second step would be for us to begin immediate discussions with those countries that are culturally and historically invested in Iraq, and arguably aligned with us, to become overtly involved in the diplomatic solution. They could take responsibility at some level for future stability among Iraq’s competing factions. The countries that immediately come to mind are Jordan, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, and those sorts of countries. I believe this is doable, but quite frankly it’s going to be more difficult in the wake of our failure to take similar steps during the early stages of the recent incidents [?] in Lebanon. You might recall that during those first days of that action, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Bahrain all condemned Hezbollah, as did the Beirut government, initially, for inciting the Israeli attacks. By not taking advantage of these gestures we lost a great opportunity to bring some long term stability in both countries.
TRANSLATION: Cut and walk, and hope the Arabs can keep the peace there. Sure, Jimmy, sure.
A REALTOR® DILBERT SPEAKS:
"Buyers are saying, 'I can't wait five years. I could be dead,' " said Allan Domb of Allan Domb Real Estate, who has been contacted by developers about taking over their projects....
WHICH IS EXCELLENT NEWS FOR THOSE SEEKING OUT APARTMENTS:
Last year, Domb said, he had 55 high-end rentals available; this year, 13. And he says he's as much to blame as anyone else:
"Investors who had held on to condos and rented them out since the 1980s gave them to me to sell over the last three years."
WHICH ENABLED YOU TO BUILD $50 MILLION CONDOS NO ONE WANTED.
"Buyers are saying, 'I can't wait five years. I could be dead,' " said Allan Domb of Allan Domb Real Estate, who has been contacted by developers about taking over their projects....
WHICH IS EXCELLENT NEWS FOR THOSE SEEKING OUT APARTMENTS:
Last year, Domb said, he had 55 high-end rentals available; this year, 13. And he says he's as much to blame as anyone else:
"Investors who had held on to condos and rented them out since the 1980s gave them to me to sell over the last three years."
WHICH ENABLED YOU TO BUILD $50 MILLION CONDOS NO ONE WANTED.
Guess which overpublicized stunt lost a sixth of its audience from Friday to Saturday! Oh, you'll never guess.
Further good news: total B.O. was down about 10 percent from last year; and the stunt did less than even the critical prognosticator of Hollywood Elsewhere predicted. GOOD!
But we must not forget THE NEW EFFETE EDELSTEIN OF STALE.COM:
Who knows whether Snakes will have—forgive me—legs [NO WE WILL NOT, AFTER ALL THE IDIOT PUNS YOU HACKS GAVE US], but it's more than awesome enough to assure opening-weekend euphoria for those who were waiting for it already, and their positive word-of-mouth should draw plenty of people who weren't.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
P. S. at 9:23 p.m.: PAUL DRECK eructs another of the EGREGIOUS SOUND BITES that have made him -- famous:
"New Line did not set out to create this Internet buzz. [?!?!?] That's actually a marketer's dream, but when marketing translates into awareness but does not inspire people to get out from behind their computers and into the theater, that's a problem."
A problem which, of course, has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE.
Further good news: total B.O. was down about 10 percent from last year; and the stunt did less than even the critical prognosticator of Hollywood Elsewhere predicted. GOOD!
But we must not forget THE NEW EFFETE EDELSTEIN OF STALE.COM:
Who knows whether Snakes will have—forgive me—legs [NO WE WILL NOT, AFTER ALL THE IDIOT PUNS YOU HACKS GAVE US], but it's more than awesome enough to assure opening-weekend euphoria for those who were waiting for it already, and their positive word-of-mouth should draw plenty of people who weren't.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
P. S. at 9:23 p.m.: PAUL DRECK eructs another of the EGREGIOUS SOUND BITES that have made him -- famous:
"New Line did not set out to create this Internet buzz. [?!?!?] That's actually a marketer's dream, but when marketing translates into awareness but does not inspire people to get out from behind their computers and into the theater, that's a problem."
A problem which, of course, has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE.
A RADIO DILBERT SPEAKS:
"I'm concerned that the homogenization across the L.A. dial is going to make it harder to attract young listeners. But if I just put on highly specialized channels, this company would die. There isn't much room for experimentation in modern radio."
WHY SHOULD YOU WORRY WHEN YOU BRING IN THE NUMBERS?
"I'm concerned that the homogenization across the L.A. dial is going to make it harder to attract young listeners. But if I just put on highly specialized channels, this company would die. There isn't much room for experimentation in modern radio."
WHY SHOULD YOU WORRY WHEN YOU BRING IN THE NUMBERS?
Meantime, in Webb for Senate -- no page A01 story on MACACAS? Lenny ought to get REAL MAD -- almost as mad as his STAR REPORTER got about ISRAELIS! Well, maybe this is it:
WWII Interrogators End Silence [home-page hed]
Soldiers who interrogated Nazi POWs have finally admitted they could not find any clues as to where Sen. George Allen learned his racial prejudice.
Oh -- that's not it? Sorry. We won't look again -- until tomorrow.
WWII Interrogators End Silence [home-page hed]
Soldiers who interrogated Nazi POWs have finally admitted they could not find any clues as to where Sen. George Allen learned his racial prejudice.
Oh -- that's not it? Sorry. We won't look again -- until tomorrow.
Shucks, Mr. Mark's on vacation? Where can we get our political dictation? Our show-biz advertising? How can he do this when PEOPLE NEWSRAG has just upped the ante? Oh well, have to wait until next week, I guess.