THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, May 29, 2004
For all Rummy's faults, I think I'll join in the chorus too:
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
I can think of a lot of reasons for making fun of Gene Simmons -- like his makeup, his music, and the fact that he's still wearing his makeup and still doing his music when he's well past being eligible for membership in AARP.
But NEWS HACKS must always FURROW THEIR BROWS and ENFORCE THEIR SPEECH CODE. Gene may have said a foolish thing (or rather, a thing foolishly), but he shouldn't pay with his life for it, CURLEYS.
But NEWS HACKS must always FURROW THEIR BROWS and ENFORCE THEIR SPEECH CODE. Gene may have said a foolish thing (or rather, a thing foolishly), but he shouldn't pay with his life for it, CURLEYS.
Some bank CEO in Ireland has resigned because he looked up the wrong things on his computer, so why am I thinking, 1. He quit because what he surfed wasn't PC, or 2. This isn't the real cause?
I’ve always felt the way Jerry Levin put it — and I give him credit for this quote — content may be king, but distribution is the power behind the throne. And you need them both.
So it's time to whack the public with my scepter!
So it's time to whack the public with my scepter!
In 1,248 words, the NBA is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.
Though I guess we can trash-talk now that THE OTHER GUY has the RIGHTS.
Though I guess we can trash-talk now that THE OTHER GUY has the RIGHTS.
A media-biz superhero owns a casino in a sleazy LALA suburb named Gardena, and one of the local political poops who shook the superhero's hand (and got a nice something in return, no doubt) says with VALENTI-like awe that while an "ideal" town would not have the casino or the superhero, "ideals...don't pay the bills."
That's something JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL and his fellow idealists learned a LONG time ago.
That's something JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL and his fellow idealists learned a LONG time ago.
More non-terrorism non-kills Saudis.
If we could combine the denial of the Saudis with the denials of Reuters we could wipe out most of the bad things in history.
If we could combine the denial of the Saudis with the denials of Reuters we could wipe out most of the bad things in history.
Friday, May 28, 2004
Bad news for the Big Four of Dumb: all those young men who vanished from the TV audience may still be missing.
Perhaps they're listening to ErrAmerica. (Pffh-hh-hh!)
Perhaps they're listening to ErrAmerica. (Pffh-hh-hh!)
Lord Koppel began a SWEEPS MONTH with a gimmick; he ends the month with a gimmick.
I think the soldiers will manage to rest in peace despite the best efforts to wake them up for purposes known only to the Second Coming of Murrow.
I think the soldiers will manage to rest in peace despite the best efforts to wake them up for purposes known only to the Second Coming of Murrow.
2000 words surrounding a simple admission:
When hip-hop audio beds, sirens, and whistles shake the rafters at an NBA arena, it just feels like an admission that it's impossible to fill arenas with a mere basketball game.
But that's why NBA teams charge $10,000 a ticket! The fans have to feel they get something.
When hip-hop audio beds, sirens, and whistles shake the rafters at an NBA arena, it just feels like an admission that it's impossible to fill arenas with a mere basketball game.
But that's why NBA teams charge $10,000 a ticket! The fans have to feel they get something.
I'm waiting for the next line of con-SER-vative attack: RUPERT!!!!!!!!!! produced his PC COMEDY to show up what kind of MORONS LIBERALS are.
The only thing this waste of celluloid will prove is that the LEMMINGS in the POPCORN EMPORIA are the MORONS -- a proof established LONG AGO.
The only thing this waste of celluloid will prove is that the LEMMINGS in the POPCORN EMPORIA are the MORONS -- a proof established LONG AGO.
STERNO is mad because THE PAPER OF RECORD self-interestedly tried to paint bloggers as idiots, and further tried to put the kibosh on the medium as dying. Any mode of communication will have its fruitcakes (i.e., newspapering?), but blogging is definitely not the flavor of the month. On the other hand, there is no denying that for most bloggers (yes, most), it's a fad they can't keep up with, and they just flat out can't WRITE, and after one or two stumbling posts about a non-existent personal life they fade away. And most of blogging IS personal. Very few have the stamina to keep it up day after day after day (and I don't flatter myself in writing this). And a troublesomely few pundits have any real power, which is why STERNO can afford to get mad.
This said, bloggers can scarcely do worse than THE PAPER OF RECORD has done lately, and surely no worse than CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES when they extrude PIECES OF CRAP like THIS.
This said, bloggers can scarcely do worse than THE PAPER OF RECORD has done lately, and surely no worse than CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES when they extrude PIECES OF CRAP like THIS.
Multiply this idiot scribbling by 10,000 (the number of times like idiot scribblings appear in our daily rags each DAY) and you wonder why papers can't be written in a foreign language.
NOTE: The author is some clown who once described the beloved Eagles' loss in a playoffs as a TRAGEDY. He still can't write, but on his salary, why does he have to?
NOTE: The author is some clown who once described the beloved Eagles' loss in a playoffs as a TRAGEDY. He still can't write, but on his salary, why does he have to?
More irritating industry self-obsession: a 1,806-WORD piece on a thoroughly despicable megalomaniacal QUEEN in KING BRIAN'S COURT whose career effectively ended on 9/11 (sniff sniff).
I can hear the KING on his THRONE now: "LET THEM EAT SEVERANCE PAY!!!!!"
I can hear the KING on his THRONE now: "LET THEM EAT SEVERANCE PAY!!!!!"
Elsewhere in ArtsJournal.com (oiiiiiiiiii): I think we know where this fan fiction is going: the same place millions of blogs will go -- to eventual erasure.
HOWELL LIVES! Some ad-blurb copywriters so desperately want to believe they're living in a golden age to out-gold all golden ages that they'll abandon even the most fundamental rules of writing sense to say it -- not that they start out with any. Here one of THE PAPER OF RECORD's top typists devotes 3,010 WORDS to his windmill-tilting belief that diversity, rock, and four-letter words have made Broadway musical scores BETTER THAN EVER.
Unfortunately, you can't hum a PAPER OF RECORD article, though I suspect STEPHEN has tried.
Unfortunately, you can't hum a PAPER OF RECORD article, though I suspect STEPHEN has tried.
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!'S NEW PC COMEDY ISN'T PC!! A RUPERT!!!!!!!!!! HENCHMAN SAYS SO!!!!!
SHUT UP and dream about your fortune.
SHUT UP and dream about your fortune.
Kerry Outlines Foreign Policy, Attacking Bush
That sounds like a pretty good foreign policy to me.
But WAIT! There's MORE from KERRY FOR PRESIDENT!!!!! (aka THE PAPER OF RECORD):
Madeleine K. Albright, Samuel R. Berger, William J. Perry...Gen. John M. Shalikashvili, Richard C. Holbrooke....
It's the CLINTON, er, DIPPITY-DO FOREIGN POLICY TEAM! CLINTON WITHOUT THE CLINTON!
And Secretary of State Joe Biden!
That does have a kind of, ring to it...like a bell made of glass.
That sounds like a pretty good foreign policy to me.
But WAIT! There's MORE from KERRY FOR PRESIDENT!!!!! (aka THE PAPER OF RECORD):
Madeleine K. Albright, Samuel R. Berger, William J. Perry...Gen. John M. Shalikashvili, Richard C. Holbrooke....
It's the CLINTON, er, DIPPITY-DO FOREIGN POLICY TEAM! CLINTON WITHOUT THE CLINTON!
And Secretary of State Joe Biden!
That does have a kind of, ring to it...like a bell made of glass.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Former Rite Aid CEO Grass gets 8-year prison term for accounting scandal
Or to put it another way, Marty's doing no more time than the combined average tenure of all his company's counter clerks who give such FABULOUS service.
Or to put it another way, Marty's doing no more time than the combined average tenure of all his company's counter clerks who give such FABULOUS service.
Along with its brilliant PR ploy to get people to watch SUPER BORE ADS, USA Okay (aka THE PAPER OF RECORD LITE) pioneered the tradition of paying excessive attention to THE UPFRONTS, that combination carnival and sweepstakes where ad bigwigs make advance commitments to waste billions of their companies' money so they can tell a good story back at the office about which stars they met. By reducing television to ad commitments NEWS HACKS did the impossible: they reduced the quality of television.
There seem to be two types of wonks among bloggers: the VOLOKHEADS, who must (as I've said too often before) post 5,000 words on every topic, and who think by BLOVIATING they're THINKING; and (for lack of a better term) the MICROWONKS, who carve out little niches by MICROREPORTING and MICROANALYZING EVERYTHING in their niche until it gets a rash from all the scratching. I've already posted an example of the MICROWONK in that verbose Atlanta Braves fan who was rewarded by GoogleBlogger (although arguably he was a VOLOKHEAD as much as anything); now THE PAPER OF RECORD rewards an 18-year-old MICROWONK who specializes in lots of little uninteresting stories on the cable-TV-news biz. I would say whoops your fifteen minutes are up but most likely he's already accomplished enough in the art of flattery to get a network presidency when he's 25, which means another JEFF "ZUCKS" ZUCKER we'll have to put up with. The woods are CRAWLING with AIN'T IT COOL NEWS!
Cleverly THE PAPER OF RECORD does not mention what his parents do for a living, assuming he didn't emerge full-blown from the womb onto the Web like too many bloggers, but I'll bet they're already high mucky-mucks in broadcasting. (Neither would I be surprised if THE PAPER OF RECORD is in their CVs.) Jeff Zucker? LOOK OUT, BOB WRIGHT!
Cleverly THE PAPER OF RECORD does not mention what his parents do for a living, assuming he didn't emerge full-blown from the womb onto the Web like too many bloggers, but I'll bet they're already high mucky-mucks in broadcasting. (Neither would I be surprised if THE PAPER OF RECORD is in their CVs.) Jeff Zucker? LOOK OUT, BOB WRIGHT!
Another reason I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhve NEWSMAX!!!!!:
POW CONGRESSMAN: HANOI USED KERRY SPEECH, GORE COMMENTS 'TRAITOROUS'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And GUESS who the POW CONGRESSMAN is: SAM JOHNSON, one of the most FAR RIGHT members of the HOUSE.
I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhve NEWSMAX!!!!!
POW CONGRESSMAN: HANOI USED KERRY SPEECH, GORE COMMENTS 'TRAITOROUS'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And GUESS who the POW CONGRESSMAN is: SAM JOHNSON, one of the most FAR RIGHT members of the HOUSE.
I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhve NEWSMAX!!!!!
And speaking thereof, a brief, flickering spark of sense in the black void of talk radio:
The challenge, [Al Franken] says, is to make the points he wants without repeating himself day after day. When it is pointed out that one of the tenets of the "big lie" approach to propaganda is repetition, he says, "So would that work with truth? The Big Truth? I hadn't thought of that. Maybe it is better if I repeat the same things over and over.
"It's just that, sometimes, the truth is a little more complicated."
No it's not -- not when people in the biz REPEAT THEMSELVES.
The challenge, [Al Franken] says, is to make the points he wants without repeating himself day after day. When it is pointed out that one of the tenets of the "big lie" approach to propaganda is repetition, he says, "So would that work with truth? The Big Truth? I hadn't thought of that. Maybe it is better if I repeat the same things over and over.
"It's just that, sometimes, the truth is a little more complicated."
No it's not -- not when people in the biz REPEAT THEMSELVES.
Well I wrote off P. R. MEL, so maybe it's too soon to write off ErrAmerica. One thing's clear: a healthy dose of PR can overcome ANYTHING.
Okay HACKS, let's repeat THIS mantra.
On the other hand, doesn't Arbitron use diaries? How accurate is that? I guess we'll REALLY hear about it.
Okay HACKS, let's repeat THIS mantra.
On the other hand, doesn't Arbitron use diaries? How accurate is that? I guess we'll REALLY hear about it.
We have to play mind games with holy cockroaches whether we like it or NOT.
It won't make the warnings any less dubious or tedious, though.
It won't make the warnings any less dubious or tedious, though.
I don't know what R. Emmett's been drinking lately, but we can smell his breath on Spectator.org. Maybe he wants not to be knee-jerk predictable, but to call JACK! a hero, to give BUTTMAN INSTITUTE a platform for antiwar talk, to say outsourcing is a racial code word, to excuse RUPERT!!!!!!!!!! for producing a PC movie about climate change, and now to let some scribbler who does not capitalize his name (original!) blast Bill Cosby reeks of something.
And yes, Bill can be a bit more than a nuisance, but just because black youth wore ugly clothes before is no excuse.
And yes, Bill can be a bit more than a nuisance, but just because black youth wore ugly clothes before is no excuse.
KERRY FOR PRESIDENT!!!!! (aka THE PAPER OF RECORD!!!!!) says "THE ANNOUNCEMENT APPEARED INTENDED IN PART TO DISTRACT ATTENTION FROM MR. BUSH'S SAGGING POLL NUMBERS AND PROBLEMS IN IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!"
If you ran the government, PINCH, you WOULDN'T tell us -- so that when we got kaboomed you could blame it on REPUBLICANS.
If you ran the government, PINCH, you WOULDN'T tell us -- so that when we got kaboomed you could blame it on REPUBLICANS.
"IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT FIND ANOTHER CABLE COMPANY!"
Oh we will, your eternal royal excellency King Brian. Where?
Oh we will, your eternal royal excellency King Brian. Where?
Another one of those "the-truth-in-ten-words" stories from news hacks:
'Was it just rubbish?' some have asked of the works of art destroyed in this week's warehouse fire.
Given the nature of the art involved, the best answer is "almost certainly."
But just in case:
The Chapman brothers' Hell was arguably the greatest of these. It was definitely one of the ones you would have given an even chance of surviving - in art history at least. It was, I think, the best of all this generation's art, with the exception of Damien Hirst's vitrines - in fact, it was about the only work that built on Hirst, using his tanks in a way he never would, to make a picture. It was a pungent and individual fantasy, a convincing landscape of atrocity: funny, horrible and worthy of comparison with the visions of hell it quoted by Botticelli and Dante and Rodin and Francis Ford Coppola.
Now I have the answer: CERTAINLY.
'Was it just rubbish?' some have asked of the works of art destroyed in this week's warehouse fire.
Given the nature of the art involved, the best answer is "almost certainly."
But just in case:
The Chapman brothers' Hell was arguably the greatest of these. It was definitely one of the ones you would have given an even chance of surviving - in art history at least. It was, I think, the best of all this generation's art, with the exception of Damien Hirst's vitrines - in fact, it was about the only work that built on Hirst, using his tanks in a way he never would, to make a picture. It was a pungent and individual fantasy, a convincing landscape of atrocity: funny, horrible and worthy of comparison with the visions of hell it quoted by Botticelli and Dante and Rodin and Francis Ford Coppola.
Now I have the answer: CERTAINLY.
Another hole in the leaky bowl for JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP!
The chef feigns anger! He should be laughing cynically, as always. This was surely his intention -- to get around the Feds and let kids see whatever they want to.
The chef feigns anger! He should be laughing cynically, as always. This was surely his intention -- to get around the Feds and let kids see whatever they want to.
Next cause for NEWS HACKS: euthanasia.
Caveat: it's the loony NINTH CIRCUIT, a division of THE PAPER OF RECORD.
Caveat: it's the loony NINTH CIRCUIT, a division of THE PAPER OF RECORD.
If the holy cockroaches win their war, they will have a PC British government to thank for refusing to arrest them, current reports notwithstanding.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
AW SHUCKS, THERE GOES THE MONEY.
But now his campaign -- er, the NEWS HACKS can say he has PRINCIPLE. (Pffh-hh-hh!)
But now his campaign -- er, the NEWS HACKS can say he has PRINCIPLE. (Pffh-hh-hh!)
Hmmm, some Arabs are building a skyscraper! Take THAT, New York!
Maybe this will bring PRIDE back to the Arab lands pffh-hh-hh!
And when they get to the height of, oh, the WTC does the whole populace go BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!?
What do we do for the topping-off ceremony? A banner of OSAMA?
P. S. It's designed by Skidmore, Owings and Merrill, which couldn't come up with suitable buildings for GROUND ZERO.
Finally -- a Wal-Mart in inner-city Chicago.
If the Bentonville gang is serious we should get at least one Wal-Mart in EVERY UNDER-RETAILED CITY IN AMERICA (which means practically EVERY CITY IN AMERICA).
If the Bentonville gang is serious we should get at least one Wal-Mart in EVERY UNDER-RETAILED CITY IN AMERICA (which means practically EVERY CITY IN AMERICA).
Surprise, surprise. Terry's guilty too.
May a million 120-year-old Gore Vidals seduce you where you're going.
May a million 120-year-old Gore Vidals seduce you where you're going.
I've got a theme song for Romenesko's letters page!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Kissinger tape: Nixon too drunk to take call
I HIC! am NOT HIC! a CROOK! HIC!!
Ben "Stone Face" Stein must be gulping down Alka-Seltzers.
I HIC! am NOT HIC! a CROOK! HIC!!
Ben "Stone Face" Stein must be gulping down Alka-Seltzers.
Why do I think of Mickey as the MAD SCIENTIST OF BLOGGERS, deviser of wild schemes and speculations, most of which never pan out?
Another NEWS HACK takes a ten-word observation and turns it into 2,000 pounds of drivel:
Roland Emmerich is a director of monumentally cringe-worthy movies....
Why read further after that? When will NEWS HACKS realize truth doesn't often take thousands of words?
Roland Emmerich is a director of monumentally cringe-worthy movies....
Why read further after that? When will NEWS HACKS realize truth doesn't often take thousands of words?
We won't hear the end of this puff piece from PROF today. BLOGS change the WORLD!!!!!
Of course it helps if you've been a NEWS HACK and have UMPTEEN ZILLION CONNECTIONS.
Of course it helps if you've been a NEWS HACK and have UMPTEEN ZILLION CONNECTIONS.
Yeah but Dubya, don't drug prices still go up even after a discount?
The pols will never learn, will they. They already know EVERYTHING.
The pols will never learn, will they. They already know EVERYTHING.
I'm glad to read THE PAPER OF RECORD promises to be more vigilantly PC than before. We wouldn't expect anything less, PINCH.
Now you can start by reviving THE TORTURE SCANDAL.
Now you can start by reviving THE TORTURE SCANDAL.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
One of Dow 36,000's henchmen moves Andy S.'s SOUTH PARK REPUBLICAN out of the dusty attic and polishes it with a new name: PURPLE AMERICAN.
COUGH! GAG!! WHEEZE!!! Get that DUST out of here!!!!!
COUGH! GAG!! WHEEZE!!! Get that DUST out of here!!!!!
Since December, Murdoch has donated $5,000 to the National Republican Congressional Committee, $2,000 each to the senatorial campaigns of Charles Schumer of New York (a liberal Democrat), Bill Jones of California, Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, and Jack Ryan of Illinois, and $5,000 to News America Holdings Inc., a political action committee of Murdoch's Fox Corp.
Does SUPERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! know what he's doing?
Does SUPERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! know what he's doing?
New panhandling law -- S.F. to take it easy
City says it will use persuasion, not jail
The more things change.... (Or should that be, "The more FRISCANS give change"?)
City says it will use persuasion, not jail
The more things change.... (Or should that be, "The more FRISCANS give change"?)
Pollsters and pundits have no more idea who'll win in November than think tank wonks know how many people belong to al-Qaeda.
I guess it's too much to expect either side to shut up, isn't it.
I guess it's too much to expect either side to shut up, isn't it.
Looks like MY FAVORITE CHEAP CHANNEL STATION is dispensing junk again.
You boycott ESPNCorp, you boycott -- PEE-TAH!!!!! Seems counterproductive to me.
If this story makes THE BIGGIES it'll be around ALMOST AS LONG AS THE TORTURE SCANDAL.
P. S. A Google News search found eight matches, SIX ON CHEAP CHANNEL STATIONS. (I guess this is penance for Dixie Chicks.)
You boycott ESPNCorp, you boycott -- PEE-TAH!!!!! Seems counterproductive to me.
If this story makes THE BIGGIES it'll be around ALMOST AS LONG AS THE TORTURE SCANDAL.
P. S. A Google News search found eight matches, SIX ON CHEAP CHANNEL STATIONS. (I guess this is penance for Dixie Chicks.)
MORONIC LINE OF THE WEEK, from CAL THOMAS:
[ERIC BURNS:] Cal, "USA Today," largest circulation of any paper in the country, not a liberal fashion by any means. What does it mean that the founder of this paper has turned on the administration?
CAL THOMAS, SYNDICATED COLUMNIST: Nothing. He's no Walter Cronkite and this is not Vietnam. To make an over-the-top comment like Al Neuharth did that this is worse than ever, ignores Vietnam and the experience, which was a far worse war with far more casualties. Being an opinion writer is like being a perpetual adolescent. You can have opinions on everything and take responsibility for nothing. His opinions don't mean anything. They don't have all the facts.
BURNS: There are some shows on all-news cable in which the opinions do matter though, don't you think?
THOMAS: Oh yes, on ours, of course, and including the one I just I gave.
[ERIC BURNS:] Cal, "USA Today," largest circulation of any paper in the country, not a liberal fashion by any means. What does it mean that the founder of this paper has turned on the administration?
CAL THOMAS, SYNDICATED COLUMNIST: Nothing. He's no Walter Cronkite and this is not Vietnam. To make an over-the-top comment like Al Neuharth did that this is worse than ever, ignores Vietnam and the experience, which was a far worse war with far more casualties. Being an opinion writer is like being a perpetual adolescent. You can have opinions on everything and take responsibility for nothing. His opinions don't mean anything. They don't have all the facts.
BURNS: There are some shows on all-news cable in which the opinions do matter though, don't you think?
THOMAS: Oh yes, on ours, of course, and including the one I just I gave.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, AGAIN:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
Among the many supremely wearying things about news hacks is their occasional internecine fights over why rock ad-blurb copywriting stinks. Certainly it does not help when one of the brethren writes, in THE PAPER OF RECORD no less,
Youth is a quality not unlike health: it's found in greater abundance among the young, but we all need access to it.
And bad writing is in SUPREME abundance among NEWS HACKS.
Youth is a quality not unlike health: it's found in greater abundance among the young, but we all need access to it.
And bad writing is in SUPREME abundance among NEWS HACKS.
Look little, I know you're upset you lost your cat, but next time, think before you quote.
It would have been far more instructive to get this woman, who apparently lost out on many news jobs because she admitted in interviews she was a Republican, to ask, "What do you do, MARK WHITAKER?!?!?"
I know the answer: he "pushes the envelope" with Norman Thomas's grandson and EXCLAMATION POINTS.
One other thing: on your salary and with your megalomania YOU DON'T LISTEN EITHER.
Thanks to Romenesko for the juxtaposition.
I know the answer: he "pushes the envelope" with Norman Thomas's grandson and EXCLAMATION POINTS.
One other thing: on your salary and with your megalomania YOU DON'T LISTEN EITHER.
Thanks to Romenesko for the juxtaposition.
LOWSY MAYS is at it again.
If some radio prankster were to ask listeners to leave excrement at CHEAP CHANNEL'S HQ in San Anton' there wouldn't be enough excrement for the job.
If some radio prankster were to ask listeners to leave excrement at CHEAP CHANNEL'S HQ in San Anton' there wouldn't be enough excrement for the job.
Military Reporters Group Supports Media's Coverage of Iraqi Abuse
Haven't we mentioned the fox and the henhouse often enough?
Haven't we mentioned the fox and the henhouse often enough?
Monday, May 24, 2004
ST. HOWARD of STERNO says ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN'S LEAVING!
Who says censorship is bad?
By the way, is FMQB.com the AIN'T IT COOL NEWS of RADIO? Every time IWantMedia links there it's always something D-U-M DUMB. (Not your fault, IWantMedia.)
Who says censorship is bad?
By the way, is FMQB.com the AIN'T IT COOL NEWS of RADIO? Every time IWantMedia links there it's always something D-U-M DUMB. (Not your fault, IWantMedia.)
Great! Terry Teachout's writing a bio of Satchmo! Go for it! But don't stray too far from your blog.
FLASH FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!! LEGENDARY WELCH SAYS VICE-PRESIDENT INSIDE MAY STEP DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be replaced by -- hinthint?
ARE YOU TRYING TO FIRE SOMEBODY?
FURTHER CAVEAT: He said it on FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News.
To be replaced by -- hinthint?
ARE YOU TRYING TO FIRE SOMEBODY?
FURTHER CAVEAT: He said it on FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News.
Oh well, no one reads my blog, but at least I have fun doing it!
WOW! A BLOGGER BREAKS NEWS!!!!!
Cometa Networks Closes Its Doors Starting Tomorrow
EARTH-SHATTERING!!!!!
Hey guy! You may be as bad as Romenesko! (Where this posted.)
Cometa Networks Closes Its Doors Starting Tomorrow
EARTH-SHATTERING!!!!!
Hey guy! You may be as bad as Romenesko! (Where this posted.)
Though, the war and the Second Amendment aside, my views are probably closer to those of the press than the general public....
PROF! You just defined GLIBERTARIAN!
PROF! You just defined GLIBERTARIAN!
Okay, we'll concede that the Fumblers, Bumblers and Incompetents didn't know what they were doing (as always). Nonetheless, his CV merited suspicion, and can we always be free from mistakes when people elect to hang out with bad guys?
TV ADVERTISING DOESN'T WORK FOR MATURE PACKAGE GOODS
Deutsche Bank Study Cites Wasted Brand Spending
CONSUMERS LARGELY UNMOVED BY PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN ADS
92% Say Ads Have Not Altered Their Voting Preferences
Hmmm, I wonder what these two stories have in common? Beats me.
Deutsche Bank Study Cites Wasted Brand Spending
CONSUMERS LARGELY UNMOVED BY PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN ADS
92% Say Ads Have Not Altered Their Voting Preferences
Hmmm, I wonder what these two stories have in common? Beats me.
Why does Kinsley.com bother with this? You can tell Bill's heart is not into it. If a Democrat were a rotten president and a Republican who'd be a good guy without being Sen. McPAIN were the candidates, Bill would tear the REPUBLICAN apart. Really guy, you're doing it for show, and after THE REPORT show doesn't pay at the betting window.
And based on this survey WHY IS IT A BAD THING FOR THE YOUNG TO AVOID THE MEDIA POLICE STATE?
Hey IDIOTS! Want to improve your MORALE? Do these things: 1. Report on THE TORTURE SCANDAL for the next six months to the exclusion of everything else; 2. Campaign for DIPPITY-DO!!!!! until the last vote is cast; 3. Sell MORE SHOW-BIZ PROPERTIES with EXCLAMATION POINTS; and 4. Do it all in language stultifying, condescending and coy.
How bad is it? Even HOWIE THE HAIR SHIRT ADMITS THE BIZ IS BIASED.
If this MEA CULPA doesn't FURTHER prove the AVERAGE NEWS HACK is ONE PART JAYSON, ONE PART WALTER DURANTY AND ONE PART GRAYDON, I don't know WHAT DOES.
How bad is it? Even HOWIE THE HAIR SHIRT ADMITS THE BIZ IS BIASED.
If this MEA CULPA doesn't FURTHER prove the AVERAGE NEWS HACK is ONE PART JAYSON, ONE PART WALTER DURANTY AND ONE PART GRAYDON, I don't know WHAT DOES.
Meantime ST. WARREN OF BUFFETT and LENNY continue to ignore THE REAL OUTRAGES IN THEIR OWN BACKYARD -- possibly because VERY FEW WAPOSTIES LIVE IN D.C.?
Here I thought THE SMOKING GUN would reap a NEW ROUND OF PROPAGANDA, er TRUTH, TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY of PERFIDY -- but if the NEWS HACKS' WEB SITES have any meaning THEY HAVEN'T PLAYED IT UP YET! Wasn't this -- A VIDEO -- AND AREN'T VIDEOS TRUE? Doesn't A PICTURE TELL A THOUSAND WORDS?????
And how many are lies?
And how many are lies?
I wish I could take a screenshot and download it, but this paraphrase of Boston.com will have to do:
Sox complete three-game Jays sweep
So now DIP can win BALL GAMES! Can he win one for ol' Hahvahd or BC?
Sox complete three-game Jays sweep
So now DIP can win BALL GAMES! Can he win one for ol' Hahvahd or BC?
Sunday, May 23, 2004
No sooner do I post about STERNO than I find this through the terrifically useful IWantMedia.com:
Pope John Paul today called for regulations to ensure that media was truthful....
I've said "Hell freezes over" ENOUGH.
Nothing against the Pope, by the way.
Pope John Paul today called for regulations to ensure that media was truthful....
I've said "Hell freezes over" ENOUGH.
Nothing against the Pope, by the way.
You know, STERNO, if you'd stop listening to HOWARD and merely wrote for YOURSELF I might PRAISE you.
Most people who have trouble sleeping count sleep, or drink warm milk, or take a sleeping pill. All NEWS HACKS have to do is recall stories like this.
If only we could take MICROSOFT'S HAIRY ARM and punch some of these NEWS HACKS in the NOSE.
Why is it that the only thing that can bring CONSERVATIVES and LIBERALS together is an UNCRITICAL LOVE for THIS?
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!! MY LAI!!!!!!!!!!
THERE'S CHAMPAGNE FLOWING IN AMERICA'S LUXURY NEWS SUITES TONIGHT!!!!!
THERE'S CHAMPAGNE FLOWING IN AMERICA'S LUXURY NEWS SUITES TONIGHT!!!!!
Why does God have to defend Itself?
Guess I'd better update the NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY again.
Rashomon time again at America's hermetically sealed spin factories. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s already stuck His (meaning RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!'s) fangs into this masterwork because His (meaning RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!'s) company didn't produce it.
Guess I'd better update the NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY again.
Rashomon time again at America's hermetically sealed spin factories. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s already stuck His (meaning RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!'s) fangs into this masterwork because His (meaning RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!'s) company didn't produce it.
I reluctantly post away even though I know it won't get any hits: one of Curley's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) Stooges lets a little unintended thinking get through:
At least 300,000 people were murdered by security forces and buried in mass graves during the dictator's 23-year rule, U.S. officials say, and human rights workers put the number closer to 500,000.
"We cannot compare the situation now with how it was before," Nouri Jaber al-Nouri, inspector general of the Interior Ministry, said recently. "Iraqis used to fear everything. ... But now, despite all that is happening, we feel safe."
Of course, what is any news hack's campaigning without a but, BUT...I have never been angrier at news hacks than I am now. I don't not trust them ONE IOTA to tell the truth, I only expect them to lie, to spin, to sell, and to make BIG BUCKS for themselves; the industry is one part JAYSON and one part GRAYDON. This generation of NEWS HACKS must be the most petty and corrupt in the whole sleazy sordid history of their business -- and that's why I'm so frustrated in blogging.
At least 300,000 people were murdered by security forces and buried in mass graves during the dictator's 23-year rule, U.S. officials say, and human rights workers put the number closer to 500,000.
"We cannot compare the situation now with how it was before," Nouri Jaber al-Nouri, inspector general of the Interior Ministry, said recently. "Iraqis used to fear everything. ... But now, despite all that is happening, we feel safe."
Of course, what is any news hack's campaigning without a but, BUT...I have never been angrier at news hacks than I am now. I don't not trust them ONE IOTA to tell the truth, I only expect them to lie, to spin, to sell, and to make BIG BUCKS for themselves; the industry is one part JAYSON and one part GRAYDON. This generation of NEWS HACKS must be the most petty and corrupt in the whole sleazy sordid history of their business -- and that's why I'm so frustrated in blogging.
I'm thinking of abandoning my blog altogether. What's the use of getting mad for two hits? If someone paid attention it might be worthwhile, but why get agitated over things beyond your control if your only audience is yourself? I will probably not post again until tomorrow.
Can anyone tell me why TWXSTER newsrag is celebrating the sixtieth anniversary of D-Day except to divert from the fact it'll probably celebrate THE SIXTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF THE TORTURE SCANDAL, or maybe to make another WISECRACK at DUBYA?(!)
Or are you mad that MARK STOLE YOUR SYNERGY and will do ANYTHING to forget about it?(!) (But then you'd do ANYTHING anyway!)
Or are you mad that MARK STOLE YOUR SYNERGY and will do ANYTHING to forget about it?(!) (But then you'd do ANYTHING anyway!)
See! SEE! The Israelis ARE NAZIS! A CABINET MEMBER proves it!
And I can prove the moon's made of cheese!
And I can prove the moon's made of cheese!
Hey PAPEROFRECORDLITE.COM! You may think you invented A GREAT THING with those FULL SCREEN POPUPS -- with SOUND! But as they SPREAD people will not mention your name in HOLY WHISPERINGS, PAPEROFRECORDLITE.COM!
More good news: GENERAL leaves to CHANGE THE WORLD! (Only, of course, it's NOT NEWS, just more SPECULATION from CURLEY'S [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] UNBYLINED STOOGES! Hey, but daydreaming's part of the job!)
Unless, of course Dubya loses, and the AP will be campaigning -- I mean, reporting the election news impartially!
Unless, of course Dubya loses, and the AP will be campaigning -- I mean, reporting the election news impartially!
Hey Prof! Has your colleague MICKEY been typing too much?????!
In honor of this TREMENDOUS ACHIEVEMENT, and this TREMENDOUS ACHIEVER, we will use EXCLAMATION POINTS ON ALL OUR BLURBS -- I mean, POSTS TODAY!!!!! What BETTER WAY TO START THAN WITH:
I wonder if some French architect won some sort of Palme d'Or for this.
(Sorry! I'm not taking any chances with TECHNORATI!!!!!)
I wonder if some French architect won some sort of Palme d'Or for this.
(Sorry! I'm not taking any chances with TECHNORATI!!!!!)
