Posted 9:15 PM by Gene

Has anyone noticed how ESPNCORP NETWORK NEWS'S SITE has dumbed down? It can carry stories about falling cats and vigilantes against robbers but honest to God when it's something we might want to know we get slide shows about celebrities with cellulite. We suspect a CONSULTANT is behind this. We suspect also UB IGER.

Posted 2:10 PM by Gene

THE NEW MORONS: Being environmentally friendly with a wedding is getting married at the city clerk's office. It is not spending $200,000 on a $100,000 wedding and claiming it's green. That extra $100,000 is a very green waste, in several ways.

Posted 2:02 PM by Gene

And hey Bob, there are plenty of opportunities for those who can analyze, manipulate, innovate and create in GUVMENT!

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

Say and what about architecture -- BOB?

Posted 1:44 PM by Gene

A new definition of the same old RENDELLISM from Bob Reich:

A growing percent of every consumer dollar goes to people who analyze, manipulate, innovate and create. These people are responsible for research and development, design and engineering. Or for high-level sales, marketing and advertising [!!!]. They're composers, writers and producers. They're lawyers, journalists [!!!!!], doctors and management consultants. I call this "symbolic analytic" work because most of it has to do with analyzing, manipulating and communicating through numbers, shapes, words, ideas.

TRANSLATION: We can replace all our manufacturing jobs with a twentieth of the numbers in health care, software and SHOW BIZ. Good luck!

Posted 1:28 PM by Gene

A revolt is brewing among the people who gave us the $500 million CEOs and the triple-A ratings and the SIVs. LEGENDARY WELCH is their man. Never mind if He helped bring on the mess by being Him, insuperable Him, insufferable Him -- He's leading a REVOLT!!!!! among people who rail at the system and cave in at once; who, because they can't do right, must be led kicking and screaming into it, knowing full well right is defined by certain "nonpartisans" and could hurt our economy. LEGENDARY is just the leader they need -- all bluff, all platitudes, all about firing people and making themselves rich. Sorry, we already tried that.

And if HENRY HONEST (who is quoting excessively from Him today) has his way, after The Revolution he and his cohorts will ban government regulation of securities and he can sell whatever he wants to at $10,000 a share!

Posted 12:20 PM by Gene

The New Econowiz defends pizza by the slice, meaning JonBoy's experiment can't fail soon enough.

Posted 12:18 PM by Gene

His Omnipotence has come up with a new idea: anyone who agrees with him is not partisan, while anyone who disagrees with him his partisan. I like this new politics!

Posted 9:58 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Tiny Terror is foolish enough to launch a war against South Korea. Would we be foolish enough to let him prevail?

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

Hey John! John "The-Knee-Jerk-Liberal-Conservative" Stossel! Your dear friends the speculators are BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Speaking of America's Number-One President, con-SER-va-tives are already grumbling about an upcoming visit to Dresden. Yes, con-SER-va-tives can turn any story involving The One into a mellerdrammer worthy of a third-string 19th-century touring company, but yes too, we expect another one of his mealy-mouthed Apologies for America. Because it's coming from so far away means his interns think he can get away with it. Most likely they can, drowning out the noise with his visits to Buchenwald and then to Normandy, although we wouldn't be surprised if he somehow manages to "nuance" them too, in ways the hacks will be careful not to tell us about.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

We are not surprised to learn that one of ST. WARREN'S Assistant Gods says the economy is worse than the CW would have it. No one wants to call this a DEPR -- an economy; they probably didn't do it in 1930. But when our housing market collapses, and our biggest banks are wards of Uncle Sucker, and two of our automakers are nationalized, and the formerly Great Britain goes through the floor, it is a DEPR -- an ECONOMY, even if people aren't hawking apples, and no amount of artificial sweetener can improve that bitter taste. Of course to say The One is making things worse is Republican, but History's Greatest Planner has already decided it is worth it, no matter how worthless all that worth poured down the rathole is. "Mid-2011" sounds about right for housing -- and the economy.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

THE TEEVEE news hacks seem to have contracted a mass case of the sniffles as Jut-Jaw "leaves" his late-night show. These are the same guys who complained his hour was unfunny. Should America go into mass mourning because the WILTED PEACOCK hopes to get "a 2 rating among 18- to 49-year-olds" at 10? But we can expect little from a typist who refers to "Jack PARR" (doltish emphasis added) and gives another soapbox to THE JABBERING QUOTE MACHINE OF SYRACUSE. I want to see THR charge for PR like this.

Posted 4:51 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily -- in SPADES!



And how unsound is ABU DHABI's economy?



That building in the foreground must need that HUGE HVAC system -- and the buildings in back, too! But what are those weird metal rods with the light bulbs? Did they just teleport the two men? And why didn't somebody lay that red carpet better? Or were the light bulbs responsible?



What is wrong with having parks on the GROUND?

Posted 2:08 PM by Gene

When will even the most slavishly devoted devotees of our Great Leader become bored doing glorified photo ops?

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

Might as well repeat ourselves: We have our doubts The One's honeymoon is over. We've noted his easy charm and how millions of hacks continue to stick up for him. There are many reasons to be depressed by this presidency (some of which began under the incompetence that was Dubya). All this money headed into the incinerator, a nationalized GM, the socialism that dare not speak its name -- there are reasons to be more than a bit miffed. Perhaps we're sanguine because our time is like a drunken binge, and our bartender is the expert at how to make us feel good. The hangover will come soon enough.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

And in more clever fundraising:

Climate change kills about 315,000 people a year through hunger, sickness, and weather disasters, and the annual death toll is expected to rise to half a million by 2030, a report said today....

"Climate change is the greatest emerging humanitarian challenge of our time, causing suffering to hundreds of millions of people worldwide," Kofi Annan, former UN secretary-general and Global Humanitarian Forum president, said in a statement.

And how many millions will you make today, Kofi?

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

And The Daily Kaplan once again reminds us who runs this country, which reminds us of KAPLAN, INC.'s stock price -- OR:

The publisher of [KAPLAN, INC.'s] flagship newspaper said Thursday it was important for the publication to remain a for-profit business in order to maintain its competitive edge.

"It is important for us to be a business," said Katharine Weymouth. "It's what makes us competitive."

You stay competitive, KATIE, because millions of parents think their CHILDREN can be made competitive by CRAMMING FOR THE SAT'S. If you didn't have that convenient cash flow we guess you'd be begging for government funds too. Mark my words, this will happen.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

How far we have come in trusting news hacks: Are the TWXSTERS saying hard-core terrorists can open up without torture because it's so, or are they saying that to confirm their own belief that torture is evil?

When you have to ask fifty questions of a simple story you can't trust hacks in any way.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

If there's one pestilence greater than all the other pestilences of choosing a new digit for the Nine Fingers, it's that every pundit becomes a VOLOKHHEAD.

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

Another great cause for The One to take head-on:

Report: Homeschooling more widespread

Posted 5:46 PM by Gene

The TWXSTERS still daydream of $90 -- pardon, $270 a share (or whatever it is after the distribution and reverse split).

That day is as vanished as the wealth of BERNIE'S CLIENTS.

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



This appears to be THE new fad with STARCHITECTS: buildings as greenhouses. Well what's to prevent bugs and mold and all sorts of not very nice things from thriving along with the greenery? And to moisten all that leafy stuff wouldn't you have to waterproof the whole building to prevent leaks? And what about -- climate control? Will humans thrive in a damp environment as well as plants? Don't ask a STARCHITECT these questions. They exist to design things.

Posted 10:34 AM by Gene

SURPRISE!!!!!

Lobbying may have exacerbated the financial services bubble--and the consequences of its implosion.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

All this irritating talk about stealth candidates and "questions" over beliefs is a good reason for ELECTING our Nine Fingers. In an election they would be unable to evade their prejudices as they can before the Seniles.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

If only FUUUUUUTBOOOOOOWWWLLL were as boring to Europeans as it is to US, there wouldn't be FUUUUUUTBOOOOOOWWWLLL RIOTS.

Posted 7:40 PM by Gene

When the ASSPress turns to its natural calling as an ad agency and runs commercials about, say, how well some genius has sold on CDs, look on the bright side: think how many hundreds of thousands of times the act's been pirated.

Posted 6:45 PM by Gene

The man who calls himself Clark Rockefeller has delusions of grandeur and narcissism, a psychologist said today in a pretrial hearing. [Home-page squib]

Why, if he hadn't changed his name he could have gone to Hollywood and changed his name.

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

And this just goes to show you can post ten times in forty minutes, to what purpose I do not know.

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

Another reason not to blog: The New CW says The One's nomination will sail through...and the loony leftists are upset she isn't one of the looniest...I repeat, why are so many stories so full of the obvious?

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

Call Mark Zuckerberg the $10 billion boy.

The baby-faced genius behind popular social-networking Web site Facebook raised an additional $200 million from a Russian investment firm that puts his company's value at $10 billion.

That's a $5 billion haircut from 18 months ago, prior to the recession, when software giant Microsoft bought a similar stake in the company for $240 million, suggesting Zuckerberg's Internet phenomenon is losing steam.

Oh SLIME, you aren't exactly in a position to razz your fellow social networker.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

The sound of one hand clapping:

The beleaguered radio industry is taking heart from the latest news from Microsoft.

The software giant’s new Zune HD, which was introduced to the public yesterday, will be the first portable media player to carry an HD Radio receiver.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

One other reason I'd rather do something other than blog is lately I've had an obsession with music downloading, of which more later, except to say it is quite excruciating to learn that sometimes the uploaders don't seem to have ears, in one way or another.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

By the way, has anyone noticed that for all the Wall Street Casino's wonders it's been trading in what the dealers call a range for quite a while?

Posted 5:11 PM by Gene

Another reason I'm fed up with blogging is you're faced with stories so bald they are beyond or beneath commenting. Who really believes SLIME'S TALENT SHOW is free from rigging? And why must people go into their incredulous mode when they learn it isn't? And what makes the story worse is that SLIME's property is immune because the reverse Robin Hoods must have their DEMOGRAPHICS. So as with most blogging, you're railing at nothing.

(Via Yahoo!, which is pretty obvious -- and oblivious -- itself)

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

Another annoying thing: on the way home I passed scads of young men outside a few neighorhood bars. There's only one reason for it -- they're mad for FUUUTBOOOOWWWLLLL. How did that become a PC sport? How did it become a sport of the "hot" and of urban renewal? How does that molasses-like game have any fans other than the terminally European?

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

Although I do have several dull observations to make. On the streets near where I work one or two IDIOTS have taken to speeding go-carts at 50 MPH. There's only one reason they do it: to get into an accident. Oh, nobody wants to get into an accident, you say. Like hell. They daydream about doing an Evel Knievel and having their buggies soar fifty feet in the air and crash into twenty cars, and then they dust off their clothes and walk away. It would not occur to them life may not be like that. This wanting to cause a catastrophe finds a place in too many mindsets. The drag racer hasn't lived until he inflicts a few deaths -- but see, it's all right (or as he'd spell it, alright) because it won't happen to him. This is but a variation of what that simple-minded cartoonist Bil Keane termed NOT ME!, and it's at the root of why America's in trouble.

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

I'm starting to have the same unformed anger toward blogging that I have toward, say, watching the Congress on C-SPAN. It used to inspire great levity, but the only levitation I get anymore is with my blood pressure. What is our politics but a case of he said-she said? In time the respective bigotries of political partisans are not very amusing. I'm even starting to grow tired of posting pictures from ARCHDaily.

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



We can't come up with a clever riposte for this one -- the best we can do is an obese Jaguar (as in automobile) -- but for something like this CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED, or its ilk, is riposte enough.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

When first I heard of how the faithful are trying to revive Polaroid instant film, I thought, awwww, how cute. The more I think of it the more annoyed I get. Clowns are willing to spend (have spent) tens of millions to revive an obsolete technology for the sake of a few cultists. This is that obnoxious tubes-are-warmer argument transposed to the visual realm. Burning money is warmer too. (This also seems to be the fifth time this story has appeared in The Paper of Re-CORD. You have a stake?)

(Via AHTSJournal)

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

USAOKAY!!!!! runs a PLUG for guess which 140-CHARACTER FAD (a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO JON!), and one of the commenters suggests why OKAY!!!! has had to remove itself from some hotel rooms:

So how much do these Twitter guys pay USAtoday [sic] to do articles on them every couple of days?

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

GM BROKE -- DOW AT 12,000!!!!!!!!!!

Can anyone stop the daydreaming?

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

...[S]he would also be the first Justice with Type 1 diabetes.

We were about to say PILLHEAD...but let it pass. To us, this is no drawback. Nine Fingers are expected to have diseases. Heck Chief Justice Rehnquist ruled with a hole in his throat. And let us not forget the considerable number of Fingers who served without any known brains.

Posted 11:53 AM by Gene

Well, as expected, The One picked one of the Think-Alike Girls. (It hardly mattered which one since they think alike.) Now how much she will Think Alike is the question. I wager a lot.

Posted 8:21 PM by Gene

And to my dear friends who come here to do nothing but gaze at Sophia Loren:



She may a little too well built below the waist but who's not looking?

Posted 8:18 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Those brainy, brainy folks at MIT hired a STARCHITECT to design a building, and it sued when the place leaked. I wonder when CALTECH exacts ITS pounds of legal flesh?

Posted 8:13 PM by Gene

I always make fun of the wet-noodle gang, but North Korea is an impossible either-or. If the world goes on Chamberlaining Tiny Tyrant gets more nukes; if we take military action we might start a world war with Wal-Mart's favorite supplier. The only way out is a united world-united military action, what the Korean War was before Gen. MacArthur essentially made it our war, and neither the League of Nations nor The One will accept that because it's politically incorrect, even though Tiny's army may be a pushover however much of the people's food it robs. So we're stuck with nukes. Thanks, FDR, for founding the League of Nations!

Posted 1:40 PM by Gene

Last week there was a spat about MoDo's originality. (Link SIC!) Today we came across Mr. Nobel, and from his typing -- "the party of Rush Limbaugh", "the party’s growing extremism condemns it to seemingly permanent minority status", "blahblahblah" (well, that wasn't in there, but it might as well have been) -- we think we're right to say he phoned it in. (Or Blackberried it, the high-flying pundits not using phones anymore.) We're sure we've said it before, so we'll say it again: Most pundits go in to their papers virtually unedited. We doubt anyone has told off MoDo or Nobel or MB2 or David Gurgle Jr. in decades, if ever. They start off with the huge advantage of minds on autopilot from decades of BIG SALARIES! Any plagiarism, any dopey thinking, any repetition upon repetition upon repetition just zooms into their outlets because no one cares. The Human Fig Leaf can say he's sorry, but that's how it works, and he knows it. When you make SO MUCH MONEY!!!!! typing nobody's going to correct you. So our pundits snooze, while thankfully their outlets LOSE.

P. S. Nobel's mind and expense account were in Abu Dhabi.

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

What is REP. RESPECTED X. MARINE but a rolling one-man ethics violation?

Posted 10:05 AM by Gene

Having treated its audience like children for decades, THE CONSPIRACY decides to aim its TENTPOLES at physical children.

"There's an attraction to having global interest and appeal to as many quadrants as possible, male and female, young and old," said Alan Horn, chairman of Warner Bros., which owns the rights to the "Potter" films. [Emphasis added]

Alan baby, you wouldn't know Casablanca if it hit you on the head with a TENTPOLE.

"Audiences today are looking for family experiences," said Elizabeth Gabler, president of production at Fox 2000 Pictures, which is producing the live-action "Percy Jackson."

And that's why they go to the MOVEES?

"There is a level of trust that families have to have with a movie," said Columbia Pictures co-President Matt Tolmach.

Trust? YOU?

WHO ARE THESE IDIOTS?

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

The Tiny Tyrant claims to have made a test, which prepares the INTERNATIONAL COM-MUN-NI-TY to make good on its ULTIMATE THREAT: A HUNDRED BUCKETS OF WET NOODLES!

The tests, which fulfill a threat made last month, complicate Obama’s efforts to persuade the impoverished country to abandon nuclear weapons development in exchange for economic aid.

Not even points for good behavior?

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

"CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW . . . ABRIDGING FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!!!!!!!!" (First Amendment-defending overemphasis added)

TRANSLATION: CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW PREVENTING MY CLIENTS ON THE SIX-DIGIT LECTURE CIRCUIT FROM SPENDING UMPTEEN ZILLIONS ON DISHONEST AND IRRITATING CAMPAIGN ADS!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to RETIRE, MB2!

I'd say Zephyr Teachout, visiting assistant professor at Duke Law School, can rest assured that she will earn a tenured post at a prestigious law school one day. All she needs to put in her file is today's column by George F. Will, who devotes his entire Sunday space to criticizing a recent law review article by Teachout. What better proof of her merit to a liberal-dominated tenure committee than to be attacked by America's leading conservative newspaper columnist? She couldn't have asked for more.

Uh, I think it backfired, MB.