Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Speaking of America's Number-One President, con-SER-va-tives are already grumbling about an upcoming visit to Dresden. Yes, con-SER-va-tives can turn any story involving The One into a mellerdrammer worthy of a third-string 19th-century touring company, but yes too, we expect another one of his mealy-mouthed Apologies for America. Because it's coming from so far away means his interns think he can get away with it. Most likely they can, drowning out the noise with his visits to Buchenwald and then to Normandy, although we wouldn't be surprised if he somehow manages to "nuance" them too, in ways the hacks will be careful not to tell us about.

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