Posted 7:49 PM by Gene

The old coot Don Hewitt's reportorial tourist trap 60 Minutes accuses a certain retailer and soft-porn distributor of "looksism" -- and the conservative pundit Larry Elder defends it!

Does that make HIM a SOUTH PARK CONSERVATIVE?

Posted 7:19 PM by Gene

The Democrats become -- THE REVENGE PARTY!!!!!

Choicest tidbit: "[President McClellan] struggled to explain why he remained publicly silent about the recount for three years...."

Will REVENGE be in the PARTY PLATFORM? It'll make a nice fit between unlimited abortions and withdrawal from Iraq.

It did hurt that Rev. Racebait had more important things to do -- like emceeing Saturday Night Live.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

The Saudis publish their honor r -- ER, a list of their "top 26 terror suspects."

Guess it's not so much fun when WE'RE getting killed, is it.

Posted 4:54 PM by Gene

NRA may buy TV station

Better make PLENTY of room for Rifleman reruns.

Posted 4:50 PM by Gene

Here is something I can see the Candace "EW! YUCK!! GROSS!!!" Bushnell crowd drooling over: cosmetic FOOT surgery. Needless to say, it doesn't always work that well.

Posted 4:21 PM by Gene

It is certain AUDREY'S MONSTER will not bring in the billion dollars P&GKelloggHersheyBurgerKingSmucker'sFrito-LayMastercardPostalServiceRayovac thought it would -- it may not even make back its $150 million production and marketing costs -- and I'll say it again, I credit the overselling as much as its badness. Which further makes me wonder if Eddie Murray's fallen victim to Roy Disney. SORRY JACK, even the MOVIEGOERS may be starting to get wise.

And yes, I am sending a letter to Hershey's chairman, and I will post it here. I haven't gotten around to writing it yet.

Posted 3:11 PM by Gene

How interesting: it appears any English-speaking nation can be the target of Indian call centers.

Whew! That takes a load off our shoulders, Dubya.

Posted 12:08 PM by Gene

MY FAVORITE KIND OF NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STORY:

DEAN RIPPED FOR BUSH-9/11 SMEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...by the chairman of the Republican National Committee.

Posted 11:57 AM by Gene

And another defining mark of SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM is to GIVE THE PUBLIC WHAT IT WANTS -- and it wants ALL WACKO, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 11:53 AM by Gene

Looks like PILLHEAD has part of the vast left-wing conspiracy covered.

Posted 11:24 AM by Gene

A six-digit EisnerCorp publicist, so moved by RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON'S joyous admission that he had "A WONDERFUL WEEK," decides not to ask the HERO of MANKIND and the WILL ROGERS MOTION PICTURE PIONEERS ASSISTANCE FUND if he meant it.

Posted 11:18 AM by Gene

The same @#$%&* synergistic outfit that gives us THE @#$%^& SHIELD SAYS:

Viewers Cry Foul at Network Language

Pffh-hh-hh-hh ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

MPAA President Valenti, whose courtroom testimony ultimately helped persuade the judge to rule for the other side, has promised to appeal....

The CONSPIRACY pays this fraud millions to bribe Congresspoops, and what has he gotten it? One defeat in the plaza of public opinion after another. SLEAZEBALL GUMBO, your best days may be behind you!

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

BLAHBLAHBLAH....

Western Europe might actually get colder as a result of global warming, because the melting Arctic ice cap is cooling off the warm ocean current that is largely responsible for Europe’s mild weather, scientists and environmentalists said.

I'd say with us and the Jews Western Europe is pretty cold already.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

The local chapter of the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club's set to have two socials directors.

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

Hey Fatso, if I recall correctly your ex-boss and his mouth THE PILLHEAD got you into power by complaining about how the Dems spent and spent and ran the Congress like a dictatorship -- and NOW YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING. (Me, on November 26.)

What's the point of Republican political power? Nothing more than job security for a different clique? (Vir-GIN-ia, on December 1.)

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh, what's the point of blogging with three hits a day?

Posted 6:09 AM by Gene

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH, now the Secret Service is checking into the UBERGENIUS of rap, thus assuring his immortality.

Posted 6:01 AM by Gene

It's only a matter of time before more businesses stop spending on campaign contributions. It doesn't work, and it smells.

Just one problem: the money will probably go underground to lobbying, where it will be impossible to trace.

Posted 5:58 AM by Gene

The left's favorite dictator threatens to live forever.

In the battle between Fidel and MICKEYMOUSE NIXON I have to give the edge to Fidel.

Posted 5:47 AM by Gene

Democratic candidates descend on Florida

...and all the oranges leave for a better climate.

Posted 5:39 AM by Gene

CURSING KERRY UNLEASHES FOULMOUTHED ATTACK ON BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two polls this week showed Dean leads Kerry by a landslide 3-1 in key New Hampshire.

Nuf said.

Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

Sumner's pay-cable channel wants to run a fake election.

How could it beat the real thing?

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

If you ever shop for vintage music CDs on eBay you have to wade through dozens and dozens of poorly mastered, badly artworked PUBLIC DOMAIN albums. The owner of a Perry Como fan site reserves two pages of ire for the British companies that release the most and the worst. (For every legit Como album there must be ten PD frauds.) So yes, while copyright may be killing culture, public domain's doing a good job too.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

lgf: weasel zippers

Hey little, whenever you predict Yasser Arafat's death somebody ought to zipper you up, weasel.

I'm sorry, Prof keeps saying bloggers are better than news hacks. Little ran and ran and ran with a story that was almost pure speculation. To me he's the CNN of bloggers. Thanks for nothing, little.

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

It now emerges that the Wal-Mart shopper story was a de facto FAKE. And it took almost a WEEK to uncover this. When NEWS HACKS aren't awake with caffeine nerves over the EEEEEEEEEEVIL Republicans they're SOUND asleep.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Taiwan Referendum to Focus on Missiles, Not Independence

Hey, if I were the Taiwanese, I'd focus on the missiles too.

What does the Secretary of State of Wal-Mart have to say?

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

The Matrix influenced Lee Boyd Malvo, it influenced the Columbine killers -- I'd say it's a pretty good movie, RIGHT, Richard ADVERTISEMENT Corliss?

I know, I KNOW Buzz T. Newhouse, it's the EXCUSE DEFENSE, and that taints it. But does anyone ever figure the EXCUSE DEFENSE might not be entirely dubious?

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

Dedicated fans of J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" trilogy will stand in line for hours in the snow — if necessary....

Hey Ma! What are those big lumps of snow all in a line near the movie house?

Posted 1:42 PM by Gene

LIMBAUGH PROSECUTOR A JANET RENO DEMOCRAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PILLHEAD ADDICTED TO PLACEBOS, NOT PAINKILLERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P. S. "By August 2002, however, Krischer had switched his allegiance to businessman Bill McBride, who opposed Reno in Florida's gubernatorial primary." Has WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ever thought of buying NewsMax?

Posted 1:38 PM by Gene

A JUDGE HAS DITCHED THE @#$%&* SCREENER BAN!!!!!!!!!!

Just one problem. JACK! knows all Nine Fingers in the Wind pffh-hh-hh!

Posted 1:35 PM by Gene

OH oh, one of MICKEYMOUSE NIXON's handpicked sycophants is blasting the company. Guess that means ol' Tricky'll micromanage even more.

Posted 1:32 PM by Gene

Excellent: MadAve's idiots will see "no recovery" in the near term. Now if those clowns who must finance every rotten TV program would start hoarding their cash....

Posted 1:28 PM by Gene

Dubya's sending THE FIXER into Iraq -- presumably to rustle up some consulting fees. Who's next: Lawrence Eagleburger and Brent Scowcroft to kiss Saddam's behind?

Posted 6:51 AM by Gene

"The public be damned!" only goes so far -- especially when you're in a three-year sales drought.

Caveat: this IS USA Okay, which has its own patented annoying way of sociologizing on the news.

Posted 7:05 PM by Gene

No no no, it's not that the gamers are moving up -- it's that the rest of showbiz is moving DOWN.

Posted 6:54 PM by Gene

WHY CAN'T @#$%&* SITE METER STOP RECORDING MY OWN VISITS?

Posted 6:50 PM by Gene

Fossil Find Hailed as Earliest Recorded Male

Yup, I think that's how most women find us.

Posted 6:46 PM by Gene

First the hacks said holiday sales were going gangbusters. Now they're merely "mixed." This is why news hacks should never report on business news without statistics -- but then the Big C and Barron's and Jim Cramer's sainted career might not have existed otherwise.

Posted 6:43 PM by Gene

The flack sheet Variety, in a well-timed favor, says the TWXsters are getting their debt to practically ZERO and implies their stock might again see "its past lofty heights."

You charge hundreds of dollars so people can read company PR? Haven't you heard of PRNewswire and U. S. Newswire?

Posted 6:29 PM by Gene

There were predictions made by the peaceniks, too, that haven't come literally true, or true at all. There has been no refugee exodus, for example, of the kind they promised. No humanitarian meltdown, either. No mass civilian casualties. All of these things would of course come to pass, and right away, if the Iraqi "resistance" succeeded in sabotaging the coalition presence. But I refuse to believe that any antiwar person is so keen on vindication as to wish for anything like that.

I don't.

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

OOOOOOOOOOOOH! PILLHEAD did some "doctor shopping"!

I SMELL AN EVEN VASTER LEFT-WING CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:19 PM by Gene

Sorry ROY, you helped bring RICHARD to Burbank, so you must assume responsibility for him becoming THE DESPICABLE TYRANT he is, and for EISNERCORP becoming a power-hungry media dictatorship. (Me, on November 30.)

[E]ven before the Magic Kingdom fell on hard times in recent years, mogul Eisner had mutated into a monster, and Roy Disney was his Dr. Frankenstein. (The superinsider Nikki Finke, four days later.)

I repeat -- IS MY BLOGGING THAT BAD?

Posted 6:03 PM by Gene

And speaking of no-talents, choose your headline:

Black Music Stars Shine at Grammy Nominations

R&B, Rap Stars Shine at Grammy Nominations

Someone at the Reut must have gotten the PC willies to change the hed on that one.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

Why should adults return to recorded music when the biz has all but abandoned itself to no-talent KIDS?

I'd rather hear Jack Nicholson sing.

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

It would appear the forces of right and good (i.e., the forces for gay marriage) are up against a RACISTSEXISTHOMOPHOBIC speaker of the Massachusetts house -- who's a DEMOCRAT.

Or as Democrats nationwide are saying, AHOMMAHOMMAHOMMAHOMMAHOMMAHOMMA....

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

OOOOOOOOOOH, prosecutors have seized PILLHEAD's medical records.

I SMELL THE VAST LEFT-WING CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

THE PRO-BUSH FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEWS CHANNEL IS PAVING THE WAY FOR GOVERNMENT APPROVAL OF RUPERT MURDOCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S TAKEOVER OF DIRECTV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, BOOSTING MURDOCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S POWER OVER AMERICAN TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [I Want Media link, emphasis added.]

I SMELL THE VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

A rock music ad-blurbist tries to show his employer the WALL STREET JOURNALS is HIP by saying what over-40s need is "adventurous" (read "edgy") -- ROCK!!!!! Fella, we just need good music, period. By limiting ourselves to your favorite type the chance of us any good music ever happening -- for the over-40s or ANYBODY -- are that much smaller.

Posted 12:27 PM by Gene

Look OUT Frito-Lay: Sen. Morals wants to investigate -- JUNK FOOD.

What he did to the movie biz he can do to Krispy Kreme!

Pffh-hh-hh-hh-hh!

Posted 12:24 PM by Gene

Stupid Forbes.com pop-up quote for today:

"An economy breathes through its tax loopholes."

-Barry Bracewell-Milnes

Well, says Kudlow Glassman Armey, give it more AIR!!!!!

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

When news hacks call up three perfessers and a consultant we get this. We wouldn't need to call three perfessers and a consultant if news hacks were sure of themselves, and had the intelligence and style to back it up.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

Oh oh, I see fiery protests -- the Aussies are joining our missile defense system!

We do have a few good solid friends in the world.

Posted 8:41 AM by Gene

The New York Times -- SPECULATES!

The question isn't will WACKO escape the charges -- again I say he will, whether he's guilty or not -- the question is, will the news hacks yank WACKO back up onto his noble pedestal? I think they will.

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

The genius of columnists: George Will takes a news story and turns it into 800 words of purest, finest filler.

This guy's the John "Tinkle" Updike of news hacks, which he'd no doubt consider a high compliment.

Posted 6:23 AM by Gene

Dubya wants us to return to the moon.

The flights of eagles on the wings of turkeys.

Posted 7:49 PM by Gene

Several days ago Terry Unpronounceable got upset that RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s Big Nautical Adventure is causing the moviegoers to abandon ship. "That rumble you hear in the middle distance is the sound of doom for big-budget adult movies, which were already sick unto death and have now officially straight-lined." We can blame the teen audience unto death, but here goes: the movie biz once did better. For sixty years it did better. Then came the Paramount decree, which split the movie studios from their theaters and unnecessarily deprived the industry of a revenue stream. Then came television, which pretty much took care of the audience. Then came the end of the studio system, which allowed the supply of quality talent to dry up. Then came urban renewal, which replaced the pleasure palaces of yesteryear with refrigerators, and the subsequent malling and multiplexing of the theaters, which turned them into oversized dens. Then came the conglomerates, which didn't have the foggiest idea what they were doing, and whose successors still don't. Then came JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP, which gave increasingly self-indulgent filmmakers the chance to do all sorts of things their betters didn't need, and that swept a good chunk of what remained of the audience away. Then came Lucas Spielberg, which snuck in amidst all the filmic bloviating to produce constant hommages to the B-movies of its childhood, and brought in expensive toys like CGI to make its own B-movies faster and stronger. This in turn, brought in the teens, and the bean counters. Then came the VCR, which made movies a cheap commodity and provided the wherewithal for Lucas Spielberg to do even more B-movies. Now we're stuck with movies for kids, VERY BAD MOVIES for kids, with the usual December campaigning for bloated bores and Oscars® to mollify the ad-blurb copywriters. And of course they'll get worse; as I've said, satellites and digital projection will allow for quickie infomercials and all Paris all the time. I remember how the ad-blurbist Leonard Maltin ended the chapter on Warner Bros. cartoons in the first edition of Of Mice and Magic; after many many great cartoons, he said, those classic characters no longer had to prove anything. The movie industry had a glorious run, and now it's playing out the string, a string that has already stretched for decades and will stretch into infinity.

Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

Court Finds Rwanda Media Executives Guilty of Genocide

Words do have consequences.

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Prof cites one of his many co-productions to prove that award to Rummy for gobbledygook was another case of "media bias." After all, says the co-production (quoting The Washington Times and its sister UPI), "U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld Tuesday won the prestigious 'non-EU citizen of the year' award at a black-tie gala event in Brussels." Sorry, high-mucky-mucks always give one another awards, so this doesn't mean a thing. Remember William "Please Forgive Me For Being Defense Secretary and a Republican" Cohen's award to the evil JACK? And sorry too, what Rummy said WAS gobbledygook.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

Here's another way NEWS HACKS offend: by furrowing their brows and going into crisis mode over teen pregnancies, and then oohing and aahing and awwwing the latest celebrity birth out of what used to be called "wedlock."

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Spike Lee blasting rap is a little like MICKEYMOUSE NIXON blasting greed. There must be an ulterior motive behind this. Maybe HONKY's taken it over (so many of the "genre's" fans are stupid whites). But let's assume he's sincere. Of course rap demeans blacks. Of course it lowers their expectations. Of course it turns scum into heroes. And above all, it isn't MUSIC, it's HITLER RANTS. If Spike Lee is sincere, great. Problem is, there are an awful lot of NEWS HACKS who think rap is the most profound expression of GENIUS since Schubert wowed them at the drawing-room soirees. It's going to take more than PC film directors to change minds on this.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

America's ignorant advertisers go WHEW! Now it's safe to sponsor a porn star.

Posted 4:53 PM by Gene

Russia goes FLIP! FLOP! on Kyoto.

Does Kofi want another Nobel?

The good news is, if Vladimir Putin is some sort of new authoritarian, his cabinet belies it.

Posted 2:50 PM by Gene

Dubya's giving Bob Bartley a medal, which means he can expect more attack pieces from Al Hunt.

Posted 2:43 PM by Gene

Mark Twain's Frog Makes Rare Appearance

Just don't fill it with buckshot.

Here is Twain's infamous retranslation of his frog story from the French -- much funnier than the original. The guy presaged Google's translate function.

Posted 2:39 PM by Gene

America's news hacks hope and pray for a race riot.

Posted 1:01 PM by Gene

Today I was in a Mickey D's -- the eateries near my workplace serve, well, I'll leave it to your imagination -- and it was playing Hispanic soft-rock ballads (the first time I was there it played that sound-alike salsa), and I thought to myself, God, if only there were a Hispanic Harry Warren! His music would sweep the world! But alas, if my soujourn at the Mick's is typical, all we have are Hispanic Elton Johns and Meat Loafs, and not very good ones at that, and they know every cliche in the foreground-Muzak book, and I walked away from the Mickey D's humming no tune.

Posted 12:52 PM by Gene

And speaking of Romenesko, why do so many people think The Onion is funny?

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

MICKEYMOUSE NIXON may have quashed the rebellion, but he hasn't quashed the dissent. (Odd that this ran in that knee-jerk industry mouthpiece The Hollywood Reporter. Talk about GO FIGURE.)

Posted 11:48 AM by Gene

I smell a conspiracy: that publisher headed by Conrad Black

invested $2.5 million in a venture-capital firm that was co-managed by director Richard Perle and listed Henry Kissinger -- another outside director -- as a board member [OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!], report the WSJ's Robert Frank and Elena Cherney. Also, Hollinger gave $200,000 a year to the National Interest, a conservative publication that includes Perle, Kissinger and former Hollinger CEO Conrad Black as advisers.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[P. S. Here's Romenesko's link to the Journals Liberal Edition even though last I tried it wasn't working.]

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

Wait a second? Isn't an increase in accidents in NASCAR races a GOOD thing?

Posted 11:31 AM by Gene

Vice-President Internet did nothing but raise money all day. Vice-President Inside does nothing but raise money all day.

Why not change the title to "Fundraiser-in-Chief"?

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

Well look who's supporting President "I HATE BIGMEDIA" DAMN! "Viacom, Walt Disney Co., News Corp, Sony Corp. of America and Vivendi Universal"! That's quite a room of little guys you got there, DAMN!

And a cast of INTERNATIONAL little guys too! Will they be playing "La Marseillaise" when you take the oath, DAMN? Or will somebody knight you with a samurai sword?

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does his duty again: He blurbs a HATE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fundraiser in LALALand -- and boosts the attendance!

Somebody called the bozo this time too.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

That blubber the Cincinnati police "killed" would be such a nice J'ACCUSE! but for one thing: he used PCP.

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

A few pieces of Scotch tape and we're back on the road map to nowhere.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

Our kind of democracy: the networks went "NO COMMENT" on GENERAL JR.'s consolidation folly BEFORE, and they go "NO COMMENT " on their non-reporting AFTER.

What's good for the TWXsters....

Posted 6:58 AM by Gene

FILL IN THE BLANK:

Thomas Scully, the federal official who runs Medicare, plans to step down on Dec. 16 and is considering offers for....

1. a part on a reality TV series about the government

2. a ghosted memoir in which he tells the world how wonderful and efficient Medicare is

3. a role in a Britney Spears video in which he plays an old guy

OR

4. jobs outside the government, possibly at a law firm?

Ka-CHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHING
CHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHING
CHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHING!!!!!

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

Hey EisnerCorp! Why don't you sell ALL your air time for infomercials? At least then we'd be safe from junk entertainment.

Posted 6:20 AM by Gene

Michael Jackson thinks authorities may be spying on him in his own home, we hear. The Gloved One is said to be so fearful that his Neverland ranch has been bugged, he's even looking at his teddy bears suspiciously.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Posted 6:16 AM by Gene

You can call it mediate, or you can call it moderate, or you can call it broker, but once we give the League of Nations a LEADING ROLE that means Iraq gets an Islamic dictatorship -- which might not be unpleasing to you, Senator, since you could then beat DUBYA over the head with it.

Don't you Beltway swine ever think anything but politics and self-aggrandizement?

Posted 7:07 PM by Gene

The Floating Public-Be-Damned, er, the S. S. Bilgewater, er, the LOOOOOOOOOOOVEBOAT never makes it out of drydock.

Once again, Tom HAMMERS himself -- in the foot.

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

Democracy versus stonings, loppings, beatings, beheadings, veilings, terrorizings...the choice should be easy, n'est-ce pas?

Here's crossing our fingers at least the Iraqis have sense.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, eBay's destroying library booksales.

And I used to have fun at them. Is nothing sacred?

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

I'm sorry, putting Reagan on the dime makes no sense. First off, Roosevelt's on the dime because his battle against polio (or whatever it was) led to the March of Dimes, which helped eradicate it. Second -- and lest we forget bad things happened on Reagan's watch too -- he signed the piece of...LEGISLATION that cleared the way for the budget-busting S&L fraud. "Wehell," he foolishly said in signing it, "I think we've...hit the jackpot!" Yeah. You and Charlie Keating.

And look who's fighting this battle: The oily POWERFUL CHAIRMAN OF THE HOUSE RULES COMMITTEE, MR. BO DEREK, and the CONGRESSMAN FROM HOLLYWOOD. No, you don't want to run into THESE characters in the dead of night in a dark alley either.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Another reason I don't trust news hacks, movie-ad-blurb-copywriter division:

A sucker may be born every minute, but few were as big as David Denby.

The New Yorker's film critic admits in his upcoming memoir, "American Sucker," that he lost hundreds of thousands in greedy pursuit of dot-com riches - and that's not all.

His wife of 18 years left; he came close to a nervous breakdown; and he had "a six-month obsession with Internet porn - harrowing stuff for a New Yorker staff writer"....

And we're supposed to believe in his JUDGMENT?

One must ask: did watching hundreds of movies a year and acting as a high-toned shill have anything to do with it?

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Here's why I don't trust liberals on media ownership: They want to DESTROY RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's why I don't trust conservatives on media ownership: They want to HELP RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Good news: two leaseholders have swept away some legal gobbledygook and put the WTC project back on track. It can't be Osama's hole in the ground forever.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

I thank the few of the few of you who've taken the time to surf the site unbidden by Blogger and actually read my musings; it gives me hope that what I type out here isn't all arrant foolishness. Please, if you're entertained by my scribble -- that is the point -- take the time to tell others of my ramblings, especially those who could list me on their blogs, and -- dare I hope -- maybe even a few of the biggies. I don't think I'm that bad.

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

Well, I'll give Ah-NULT credit: he got rid of this genuinely STUPID, politically-motivated piece of -- LEGISLATION to allow illegal immigrants to have driver's licenses. Didn't 9/11 teach some politicos anything?

Posted 12:24 PM by Gene

And if the Canadians want permanent fifth-rate status -- and really, they need little help -- they will more actively enforce their PC-speech-code laws.

Posted 12:11 PM by Gene

Oh dear oh dear, it looks as though our priestly friends won't be coming for a jolly time with the members of the British Vicarage and Tea Time Club.

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

OH oh, the Russians have effectively killed the Kyoto Protocol, which means either 1) greenhouse gases will go way way up, or 2) we'll have to think of another way to get those @#$%&* Americans to live in caves.

Posted 11:45 AM by Gene

The last time the Feds warned of terrorism in Saudi Arabia, they were right for once, alas. I'd take this more seriously than usual.

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

A new kind of error message from GoogleBlogger: THE BLOGSPOT TEMPORARY PROBLEM!!!!!

And with one hit today (and that at midnight) I can only give A HEARTFELT THANK YOU TO YOU FUTURE MULTI-BILLIONAIRES.

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

This typically flag-waving NewsMax story makes me ill-at-ease, as in this kind of grumbling (however justified by His Royal Highness Prince Hillary) are the seeds for a coup, and while I'm sure coup is the last thing on anyone's mind -- especially with our supremely effective and professional soldiers -- I'm still on tenterhooks thinking it could happen. SHUT UP, NewsMax. You prove once again the Master's wisdom, "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

One thing is certain: movie ad blurbs have become hopelessly political. We can see that in the handling of what must be one of Roy Disney's favorite films. MICKEYMOUSE NIXON no doubt had a brilliant idea: "Call that schmuck Drudge. He's our best publicist." So some middle manager whispers in his telephone about all the naughty bits in an upcoming movie. Then MICKEYMOUSE orders another exec, "Tell Drudge that people here are in a furor over this, it's not our kind of movie. That's the sort of BS that gets him and his nutcase following on Halcion." Well, so he did. Then MICKEYMOUSE told other high-ups in the biz: "I just played a mind game on Matt Drudge. Doesn't take much with that retard. When the critics see this -- well, read the papers the next few days." And sure enough, if EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM DIDN'T CALL THIS MOVIE A WORK OF COMEDIC GENIUS -- AND ALL BECAUSE OF THAT @#$%&* WALTER WINCHELL. In a sense this review proves my contention; James Bowman writes for The American Spectator. But he's also one of the very few movie writers with discernment, and he leaves me with no doubt this IS a very bad movie. All it takes is a little tweaking of the hacks, and you have a masterwork. MICKEYMOUSE NIXON knows that. He could have worked hand-in-glove with Goebbels to build a better society.

P. S. I know all about WALTER'S work on Buffalo Soldiers, but that piece of junk was in the can for two years, plus 9/11 made it unwatchable. Here, there was no such excess baggage, and this time the ruse worked.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

Mike the Pike Films is shooting Fish in a Barrel in Indiana for $3 million with Burt Reynolds.

Hollywood sure ain't what it used to be, is it.

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

Here are two reasons you can't find a decent interview on TV: LARRY KING and LOLLIPOP LOU DOBBS. It's a matter of symbiosis: when CNN wants interviews it wants high-profile exclusives, and the kind of interviewees CNN wants don't like tough questions. Thus if RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON, say, wanted to state his case why he'll live forever, CNN would be more than happy to route him to the bulbous former business hack (who'd probably ask, "Michael, your stock has staged a comeback in recent months. What do you plan to do to keep the momentum going?") or ESPECIALLY TO LARRY, who has higher ratings (and who'd CERTAINLY ask, "Mike, gotta question, what's your favorite cartoon character?") The kind of horsetrading that marked this network's egregious conduct in Iraq continues through these two no-talent frauds, and the public gets the blunt end of it always.

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

Wait, Tom. You're likening this to The Sopranos -- but you say it's AWFUL! Would it be better on HBO than on the EisnerCorp Channel?

I think I know what Roy had in mind. How many ignorant sponsors on this one?

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

I AM NOT A...whatever it is that I don't want you to know about!

P. S. Isn't Judicial Watch CONSERVATIVE?

Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

Before anyone gets excited about a "rift" with Les Canadiens, let us not forget our population's almost 293,000,000 -- and theirs is a puny 32,000,000, a good chunk of which speaks FRENCH. I think we can safely ignore the weenies' social experiments up north.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

This is unfair. At a sporting event jammed with logos this comely young lady should wear any logo she wants!

Like to share a logo with me?

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Virtual colonoscopies! What hath God wrought?

P. S. The ad on the page when I hit it:



What hath Bill Gates wrought?

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

And in other news of tyranny, EisnerCorp Network plans to sic product placements on its viewers. CEOs, you may be able to schmooze in Hollywood a little while longer!

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

If there's any hope in the continuing (but probably not for long) saga of Roy and Co. it's that their complaints will strike a chord in an public increasingly angry over BIGMEDIA. The problem is, RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON has been in stonewall mode for a decade, and it is obvious that they'll have to pry EisnerCorp from, his cold, dead hands.

Posted 1:27 PM by Gene

If this article is to be believed -- and unfortunately, you have to go by the source, which is CONSERVATIVE -- Abercrombie and Fitch has stopped selling porn in its stores. This ranked with anything at Boeing as a shining example of corporate "responsibility." "Well we only sell to over 18 and FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS and nobody's forcing you to buy it and blahblahblahblah...." Problem is, the target audience -- MINORS -- appears to be getting more conservative, plus the company was threatened with boycotts, PLUS other retailers were getting mad because they could suffer collateral damage from the boycotts. Here is democracy in action stopping a sleaze peddler. Maybe we're not that far gone yet.

Posted 12:17 PM by Gene

Another cheerleader gives a fine pep talk -- yes America, we, liberals, ARE ANGRY -- AND WE'RE COMING BACK!

Kathy, you have the media, you have academe, you have effective control of society. Why not concentrate on sticking it to us as you always do?

Talk about six of one...

Posted 11:03 AM by Gene

Exercise is -- ADDICTIVE!

So do we wean the health nuts off their regimens and on to ciggies?

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

Here Boeing makes big, big bucks by moving its corporate headquarters from Washington state to Chicago, so how does it reward its CEO? By FIRING HIM!

Of course it might help Corporate America if business executives stopped interpreting The Golden Rule as "I Rule, Therefore I'm Golden."

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

"A Masters student in Peace & Conflict Management at Makerere University" tells Dubya he's "A THREAT TO WORLD PEACE!!!!!!!!!!"

I think we can believe you when Africans stop warring.

Posted 10:32 AM by Gene

Another hack writes a two-thousand word thumbsucker about celebrities that I could write in three words: THEY DESERVE IT.

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

I wish I could believe the collapse of network TV will cause the dimbulb advertisers to pull their money. Just one problem: YOU CAN'T IMPRESS YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER BY TELLING HER YOU JUST SCHMOOZED WITH A NEWSPAPER EXECUTIVE.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

In ROYWATCH (and I promise this will be the last entry on what's proving to be a non-story), USA Okay insists EisnerCorp has no comment, but who was that that was blabbering away in "a statement" that this was the right thing and we're being honest and fair and equitable and all that in letting Roy go? It was (drum roll please) the DISTINGUISHED (pffh-hh-hh!) FORMER SENATOR (Ha ha ha!) GEORGE MITCHELL! (HARDY-HAR-HAR!!!!!)

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Gertrude Ederle, the first woman to swim across the English Channel, has died at 97, and it's a measure of how far we've come from understanding such accomplishments that the oafs at USA Okay (or one of Curley's [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] Stooges) headline it, "Superstar of the 1920s dead." What? Her swim was a year before Lindbergh's flight. The hopes of nations rode on their shoulders. These were the icons for an age of enormous achievement, an age that still lingers in our hearts, and today we don't have one person who could even come close to their power to move us.

Posted 6:34 AM by Gene

These REUTERS nuts can't stop editorializing: "Another Afghan 'Safe' Zone Gets Military Team." Why do you have the hots for the Taliban?

Posted 6:29 AM by Gene

Here is THE LETTER. Not that RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON can read anything other than his own adoring press releases. Meantime one of his chief PR outlets (he has thousands) says he'll "hang on," meaning TRICKY's looking into cryonics, as did the alleged founder of his company (who is NOT cryogenically frozen, unlike TRICKY'S BRAIN).

Posted 6:22 AM by Gene

I am heartened that at least one Saudi chooses to take responsibility for his nation's actions, but for every one of this there are a dozen psycho imams screaming from their minarets, "DEATH TO JEWS! DEATH TO CHRISTIANS! DEATH TO INFIDELS! DEATH TO ANYONE WHO ISN'T US!!!!!!!!!!"

Posted 6:16 AM by Gene

Do tariffs ever make sense? They helped bring on the Great Depression. Better to swallow your losses than to cause everyone to lose.

Posted 6:56 PM by Gene

Here's another one of those stories where the hacks play with the numbers. What's deadly about these Black Friday stories is that they sound the same year after year after year. This is definitely what Buzz T. Newhouse had in mind when he wrote of non-news.

Posted 6:38 PM by Gene

The spin's already started -- now "SOURCES CLOSE TO THE COMPANY" say Roy's being forced out BECAUSE HE'S TOO OLD.

And who might YOUR sources be, anonymous CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) Stooge?

REUTERS!!!!! says the company's waived the retirement-age clause before. DUELING SOURCES!

Posted 6:34 PM by Gene

"In the most technical sense that we're in a war now in which, in the last month, we have lost more American soldiers than we have in any other month since the actual war began . . . in a technical sense, victory is not assured."

There's the meaning of Ms. -- I mean, IS again.

Posted 6:31 PM by Gene

In initial box office reporting early Sunday, “The Haunted Mansion” had the top spot, but Universal revised its numbers upward to put “The Cat in the Hat” in the lead. Rankings could change again when final numbers are reported Monday.

WHY DO THESE IDIOTS TAKE THESE BODY O -- BOX OFFICE NUMBERS SERIOUSLY?!?!?

Or rather, WHY DON'T THESE IDIOTS TAKE THEIR SHOW-BIZ REPORTING JOBS MORE SERIOUSLY?!?!?

Posted 6:27 PM by Gene

Look who's turning in suspects in the Turkish suicide bombings -- SYRIA!

I'd say there may be some culpability here.

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

We're freeing 140 detainees from Gitmo, indicating maybe a few of them should never have been held in the first place.

With the fifth columnists unearthed there I hope we know what we're doing.

Posted 6:05 PM by Gene

SHUCKS, Lincoln reportedly never said, "You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

It sounds like him though, and it describes the whole history of the mass media, so I SAY HE SAID IT.

He definitely had RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON in mind if he did.

Posted 5:59 PM by Gene

I'm proud the interantional flavor of my sudden burst of hits (all four of them). I just hope people will stay around and maybe even bookmark me. Could you do it? I don't care what you think of what I say, just spread the word that I'm not TOO illiterate, only semi-literate.

They're probably all coming from Blogger's home page (I don't know; I didn't set up my SiteMeter quite right), but I'll take them any way they come.

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

OH oh, we killed 46 Iraqis! I guess that won't help our humanitarian reputation one bit!

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

REPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEMOCRATIC INVESTMENT GROUP PLANNING TO START LIBERAL RADIO NETWORK CLOSE TO PURCHASING RADIO STATIONS IN FIVE MAJOR CITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEVELOPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There goes WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! again!!!!! Pffh-hh-hh-hh-hh-hh-hh-hh-hh!!!!!

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

Unfortunately I had to find out about this on Free Republic as this is another one of those hoity-toity WALL STREET JOURNALS exclusives, but Roy Disney has submitted his resignation to RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON -- and he's called upon TRICKY DICK TO RESIGN. Sorry ROY, you helped bring RICHARD to Burbank, so you must assume responsibility for him becoming THE DESPICABLE TYRANT he is, and for EISNERCORP becoming a power-hungry media dictatorship. You had your run when the company was worth $100 billion, Roy, but that run has ended, and people can see thorugh your industry's every strategem. SORRY Roy, I don't care what your last name is, I have no pity for you. (And reading the article it appears TRICKY DICK ESSENTIALLY FIRED ROY; so like the fellow in Hoagy Carmichael's rockin' chair, HE AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE.)

And as you might expect, all the Freepers are complaining about the GAYS NIXON brought to the company and the theme parks. Sorry dummies, that isn't the problem.

The headline's on CBS.Marketwatch now.

Posted 2:34 PM by Gene

Terry "Unpronounceable" Teachout, who's capable of very good judgments and VERY BAD ONES, posted this on his blog:

The point is that I accept the existence of hierarchies of quality without feeling oppressed by them. I have plenty of room in my life for F. Scott Fitzgerald and Raymond Chandler, for Aaron Copland and Louis Armstrong, for George Balanchine and Fred Astaire, and I love them all without confusing their relative merits, much less jumping to the conclusion that all merits are relative.

DITTO.

Posted 2:27 PM by Gene

Looking through Technorati's Top 100 index makes me wonder how useful blogdexes are. Thus far I've turned up several quasi corporate sites, and News.com (that's a blog?), and NPR.org, and OpinionJournal.com. Where is the VOICE OF THE PEEPUL? Where are all printing presses (thus saith Buzz T. Newhouse) throbbing away in America's living rooms, churning up enough gas -- er, logorrhea -- er, TRUTH to OVERTHROW BIG MEDIA? Judging from Technorati and the other bloxdexes we bloggers are as addicted to useless statistics as any six-digit NEWS HACK.

Posted 10:26 AM by Gene

WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING -- IT'S THE ONLY THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P. S. When Vietnam happened the "great" Vince denied he ever said that. SOMEBODY said it -- certainly John Wayne said it -- and it's had a vile impact on so much of American life ever since.

Posted 10:18 AM by Gene

Now the self-selecting heavyweights of blogging are making inside jokes about it, much as the mass media revel in their non-stop creation of junk.

I REMIND you PROFESSOR, your BRILLIANT musings only live in SERVERS. Pull the plug on the servers and you pull the plug on your collective memory. I don't THINK in 100 years people will read anthologies of your BLOGS.

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

HEY WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Next time I hit your site do you think you could do ten pop-ups?

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

Few who pick up a phone in the United States and dial an 800 number for help ever know they're calling halfway around the world. Employees at 24/7 are told not to reveal their location; if asked, the refrain is: ``You're calling our global customer-service center.''

Which means you must assume EVERY time you dial an 800 number you're getting the subcontinent, which means you're more justified in screaming your lungs off than ever.

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

Three ad-blurb copywriters make the common mistake that just because the folks in JACK'S CONSPIRACY campaign in December for their Oscars® that makes the movies good.

And they're certain to be especially tied up in knots this year if that high-end adolescent fantasy wins. On the one hand, it's a movie made for kids. On the other hand, it's an "instant classic." I say, give it the Oscar®.

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

These Maxwell Smarts won't give up with their shoes, will they.

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

TWX rag is doing diabetes, BLUNDER's doing the women of the Bible.

The editors had a nervous breakdown last week.