THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, November 01, 2003
For the first time somebody cites me in a blog -- BY NAME! THANK YOU, American Mind!
Andy S. (or some writer in the Guardian) coins a word: HIPOCRISY. That describes news hacks sidling up to the young with free papers, or anything from Sumner. It could even describe SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM. Good going, Andy!
Today I took my weekly South Street constitutional to find a BAND playing atop a restaurant situated near the alleged birthplace of Larry Fine, and another BAND ready to make noise at Headhouse Square, courtesy of a prefab machine-stamped radio station, and somehow I thought of the GREAT WHITE 1-0-0 circuit, one band exactly like the next, playing the identical GHEE-tar riffs, third-rate wannabes and fourth-rate hasbeens, all stinking up the same above-ground dungeons, all waiting for the break that never comes, all reminding us that not so long ago, live music was fun.
And at the local redoubt of the failing Tower Records chain some Vivendi act attracted a horde of stupid youngsters in black T-shirts lining up for autographs. Tonight it's playing a dreary former movie house notable for the weird names on the marquee and the fact that the last prominent act there was Jackie Mason, years ago. Which reminded me, if all today's junk artifacts were just a small part of the total culture, they might be tolerable. BUT JUNK IS ALL THERE IS. In swing music's heyday, a time of zoot suits and strange words like reet, Stravinsky and Prokofiev and Britten wrote concert music, and Hemingway and Evelyn Waugh wrote novels, and Frost wrote poems. The lack of serious mature ADULT culture explains in no small measure why hack morons like Janet Maslin assume the thinker pose at GENIUSES like Eminem, or why scribbling imbeciles like Robert "Over the" Hilburn turn everything they touch into a masterpiece. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE CULTURE FOR ADULTS AGAIN?
This is why I'm so mad at Andy S. and that permanent grad student and their dimwitted notion of SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM: it advocates that OUR CULTURE NEEDN'T GROW UP. Some time ago a writer in The American Enterprise took Slick AND Newt to task for living in a frozen state of boomer adolescence. The hyperpundits merely reflect them, and SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM is but another extension of their essential childishness. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE CULTURE FOR ADULTS AGAIN?
And at the local redoubt of the failing Tower Records chain some Vivendi act attracted a horde of stupid youngsters in black T-shirts lining up for autographs. Tonight it's playing a dreary former movie house notable for the weird names on the marquee and the fact that the last prominent act there was Jackie Mason, years ago. Which reminded me, if all today's junk artifacts were just a small part of the total culture, they might be tolerable. BUT JUNK IS ALL THERE IS. In swing music's heyday, a time of zoot suits and strange words like reet, Stravinsky and Prokofiev and Britten wrote concert music, and Hemingway and Evelyn Waugh wrote novels, and Frost wrote poems. The lack of serious mature ADULT culture explains in no small measure why hack morons like Janet Maslin assume the thinker pose at GENIUSES like Eminem, or why scribbling imbeciles like Robert "Over the" Hilburn turn everything they touch into a masterpiece. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE CULTURE FOR ADULTS AGAIN?
This is why I'm so mad at Andy S. and that permanent grad student and their dimwitted notion of SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM: it advocates that OUR CULTURE NEEDN'T GROW UP. Some time ago a writer in The American Enterprise took Slick AND Newt to task for living in a frozen state of boomer adolescence. The hyperpundits merely reflect them, and SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM is but another extension of their essential childishness. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE CULTURE FOR ADULTS AGAIN?
If the BO numbers are correct -- and the weekend estimates are as much fantasy as Hollywood -- EisnerCorp's latest masterwork declined 75 percent from Friday to Friday. Now GUMBO, if you and the CONSPIRACY can work at it, maybe you can get 100 percent declines! Just play movies for one weekend -- really move the product!
And when REUTERS isn't hailing Osamas as DISSIDENTS, it helps SELL celebs who in a more just world wouldn't be given the time of day (assuming THIS one knows how to tell time).
(I know, I KNOW, it's a Billboard piece of junk, but it bears the name of THE FREEDOM FIGHTER FIGHTERS' FRIEND™, so it's REUTERS' piece of junk too.)
(I know, I KNOW, it's a Billboard piece of junk, but it bears the name of THE FREEDOM FIGHTER FIGHTERS' FRIEND™, so it's REUTERS' piece of junk too.)
Someone got PROF excited because some hack named Demaree Bess wrote something for The Saturday Evening Post called "How We Botched the German Occupation." For what it's worth, he also wrote something in 1948 called "Will We Be Pushed Out of Berlin?" Today the Post is a bimonthly for fossilized health cranks.
That last post and Ben's review of the immortal genius Mr. Sondheim's latest opus give a clue as to why our creative culture's a spent force: it can't and won't do anything right when it's so self-conscious. I noted earlier that Leonard Bernstein was too me-centered to be an enduringly great composer, and his first-class music writing virtually ended when he became the world's conductor (in 1958, the year after West Side Story). And face it, a good many masterworks sprang up almost by accident. When everyone's looking for genius in every nook and cranny -- and too often find it -- posterity gains nothing. And we are so hyperaware of the slightest offense art can do to this aggrieved race or that aggrieved ethnic group, the chance of the happy cultural accident become smaller still. Our age will not survive on rap and blogs, except for derision.
From EisnerCorp Network News, another mea culpa about how we've (and that includes US as always, RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON) turned harmless traditions like Halloween into never-ending culture-war battles in which everyone gets shot at.
UNFORTUNATELY, Andy S., it appears some people aren't buying your SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM.
UNFORTUNATELY, Andy S., it appears some people aren't buying your SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM.
1. News hacks provided the platform for this story. 2. The moment the first shot was fired, all those stupid well-paid cameramen were taping away and not one person from the FIFTH ESTATE tried to intervene. 3. On Reliable [sic] Sources, Howie the Hair Shirt will pull out that plum again and say what a bad boy am I, for upper-six-digits. (Howie, couldn't you talk your TWXster bosses into buying you a new plum?) 4. This story will inspire at least twenty JOURNALISTIC seminars. 5. Ratings went up on LALA's 5:00 infotainments. 6. I don't care if it was a LAWYER. What if it had been a mother and child? Why must these idiots prove they have negative ethics and morals?
Oh how long ago when people liked news hacks, after 9/11, and that was only because the hacks don't like to see people die, albeit under very qualified circumstances.
Oh how long ago when people liked news hacks, after 9/11, and that was only because the hacks don't like to see people die, albeit under very qualified circumstances.
No no no no NO. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THESE STORIES. First off, you forget the formula: one American equals eight Iraqis, or twenty Indians, or fifty Bangladeshis; and second, NOBODY DIED IN IRAQ BEFORE WE INVADED IT!
News hacks squeal about obesity, and then they wring their hands that the "number of hungry families is increasing." I would say you can't have it both ways, but news hacks can.
Then again, maybe the obese need more to eat.
Then again, maybe the obese need more to eat.
"[T]he reigning genius of the American musical" -- nay, the reigning genius of all art, for all time! -- writes a show that Ben "The Greatest Musical Ever!" Brantley reluctantly deems a failure, a show fifty-one years in the making (isn't that time enough for genius?), and a form "starved for...substance and inventiveness" (in part because the reigning genius sated it with death and gloom and misery and tunelessness) must wait a little longer for its supper.
Friday, October 31, 2003
Here's what happens when a news hack isn't looking when he/she/it types:
Kerry, Dean Trade Shots Over Gun Control
And how apt that when I brought up the page I got the lady with the moustache.
Kerry, Dean Trade Shots Over Gun Control
And how apt that when I brought up the page I got the lady with the moustache.
The Economics of Suicide
We could say something, Bill's Entomologists, about YOUR BUGWARE, but we think we'll hold our tongue for now.
We could say something, Bill's Entomologists, about YOUR BUGWARE, but we think we'll hold our tongue for now.
It will be interesting to see how many lunkheads (i.e., moviegoers) see a film about the most self-absorbed people on the planet absolving themselves.
SPRINGFIELD, Ill. (AP) -- A high school quarterback has asked officials to erase his record-setting pass because his coach had made a deal with the opposing team to let him complete it.
Now that's what I call good sportsmanship!
I repeat: How long before EisnerCorp's E$PCN stages a high-school Super Bowl?
Now that's what I call good sportsmanship!
I repeat: How long before EisnerCorp's E$PCN stages a high-school Super Bowl?
U.S. Offers Up to $5 Million for Tip on Gaza Attack
Sorry, we have $5 million, they have 72 virgins. No contest.
Sorry, we have $5 million, they have 72 virgins. No contest.
There goes the empire: DreamWorks KGB is getting out of recorded music -- its biggest hit was the cast album of the immortal Broadway masterwork Rent -- by selling to Vivendi Universal for "under $100 million."
Misery must love miserable company in the music biz these days.
Misery must love miserable company in the music biz these days.
Jump up and down, Andy S.! Shout hip-hooray, Professor! Sell it to the rafters, NewsMax! Do somersaults, Dr. Brian! SOUTH PARK CONSERVATIVE DENNIS MILLER IS DOING A PRIME-TIME TALK SHOW -- ON THE BIG C!!!!!
GET HIM TOGETHER WITH LARRY KUDLOW!!!!!!!!!!
GET HIM TOGETHER WITH LARRY KUDLOW!!!!!!!!!!
I have an idea for the superdupermarketing titans of pro sports: have the players unveil a new uniform design every game!
L.A.'s hot, new indie-lit scene
Translation: here comes more trendy short-lived superficial "critically-acclaimed" hack work.
Translation: here comes more trendy short-lived superficial "critically-acclaimed" hack work.
In the up-is-down, in-is-out business of "diplomacy," silence is courage.
One of the world's great FIRST AMENDMENT DEFENDERS sues Marvel Entertainment because it BAD-MOUTHED a TV series.
Now if only Spidey could spin a web around Trib's CEO....
Now if only Spidey could spin a web around Trib's CEO....
Thursday, October 30, 2003
A myth of US capitalism is that investors in a public company can easily change the board of directors.
Well, not entirely a myth. Look at EisnerCorp. All RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON had to do was rearrange the empty suits in the Titanic's boardroom and he wins.
Well, not entirely a myth. Look at EisnerCorp. All RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON had to do was rearrange the empty suits in the Titanic's boardroom and he wins.
And speaking of The Clunker Brothers, I'd bet we catch up to the Japanese before The Clunker Brothers of TV go out of business.
Romenesko (who, as Andy S. NEVER ceases who tell us, is liberal -- and gay) probably thought he had THE SMOKING -- er, GUN!! Problem is, this letter was promptly ignored because for every ROGER!!!!!!!!!!! slant there are ten QUAGMIRES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, of course, the whole point of the Capitol Visitor Center was to SHIELD the great unwashed from the privileged elected few -- and it's a boondoggle to boot.
Sorry, underground is where worms and Tauzins come from.
Sorry, underground is where worms and Tauzins come from.
I have not very closely followed the story of the Russian oil oligarch who got arrested for one reason: in today's Russia, it's hard to tell fraud from democracy.
Professor and Andy S. have discovered this STUPID PARLOR GAME that's supposed to guess the sex of an author. I put my masterpiece through and it made me bisexual. It's like the endless parlor games historians play over our best and worst presidents -- harmless fluff, but it takes up too much brain matter.
And speaking of WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING:
Comcast Reports Net Income of $3.18B!!!!!!!!!!!
"We're winning because we're ubiquitous!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Guess who loses with $500 a month cable.
Comcast Reports Net Income of $3.18B!!!!!!!!!!!
"We're winning because we're ubiquitous!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Guess who loses with $500 a month cable.
OH oh, somebody's started a WEB SITE -- saying the legendary JoePa must GO!
Winning isn't everything -- it's the ONLY thing! Ka-CHING!!!!!
A TOY GUN FROM A HALLOWEEN COSTUME gives our CONGRESSPOOPS another excuse to LOCK THEIR DOORS TO EVERYONE BUT LOBBYISTS.
A parking garage under construction at an Atlantic City casino collapses and...well, Larry Kudlow could offer an excuse for this:
Shares of Aztar [the casino's owner], which had been trading up all week, fell 4.5 percent to $21.59. Two other companies with big operations in New Jersey rose. Park Place Entertainment tacked on over 1 percent to $9.81 while Harrah's was up 1.3 percent to $43.85.
Who says THE FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM doesn't work?
Shares of Aztar [the casino's owner], which had been trading up all week, fell 4.5 percent to $21.59. Two other companies with big operations in New Jersey rose. Park Place Entertainment tacked on over 1 percent to $9.81 while Harrah's was up 1.3 percent to $43.85.
Who says THE FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM doesn't work?
The WALL STREET JOURNALS charge umpteen thousand dollars a year so knee-jerk rightists can tell us what lice leftists are, knee-jerk leftists can tell us what fleas rightists are, and people looking for work can pitch the newest PR.
At least CBS Marketwatch is honest enough to charge nothing. (This links on Romenesko.)
At least CBS Marketwatch is honest enough to charge nothing. (This links on Romenesko.)
Pageant flap bares Afghan tradition
Women’s rights advocates fear conservative backlash
There go those CONSERVATIVES again.
Women’s rights advocates fear conservative backlash
There go those CONSERVATIVES again.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
NewsMax ties itself in knots over THE VANGUARD OF SOUTH PARK CONSERVATISM, proving liberals have no monopoly over mental pretzeling.
Rebel Galloway launches political party
Whatcha gonna call it, Rebel? The Traitor Party? The Ba'ath Party? The Genocide Party? The INTERNATIONAL A.N.S.W.E.R. Party? The Bribery Party? (Oops, can't be that. Billy Tauzin already took it.)
Whatcha gonna call it, Rebel? The Traitor Party? The Ba'ath Party? The Genocide Party? The INTERNATIONAL A.N.S.W.E.R. Party? The Bribery Party? (Oops, can't be that. Billy Tauzin already took it.)
The Senate Judiciary Committee pulled a big HI MOM!
When willowy Nicole Kidman split up with diminutive Tom Cruise, she quipped "Now I can wear heels." Two years later, she can wear anything she wants. The 36-year-old Australian actress has emerged from the shadow of her superstar ex to become Hollywood's top female star.
...starring in arthouse movies and big-budget flops. Hard to believe people once paid to see "Hollywood's top female stars."
Put Jack Mathews on the (tentative) JACK REPLACEMENT LIST!
...starring in arthouse movies and big-budget flops. Hard to believe people once paid to see "Hollywood's top female stars."
Put Jack Mathews on the (tentative) JACK REPLACEMENT LIST!
Divorce of the Month:
Oscar-nominated British actor Jude Law was divorced from Sadie Frost Wednesday after she blamed him for exacerbating her post-natal depression.
Oscar-nominated British actor Jude Law was divorced from Sadie Frost Wednesday after she blamed him for exacerbating her post-natal depression.
The tiny petulant whiny egos of bookdom are upset at a critic who actually criticizes books.
He has an anthology of his reviews called Hatchet Job. Had it been most ad-blurb copywriters he could have called it Feather-Duster Job, or Expensive-Perfume-and-Manicure Job, or [CENSORED!!!!!!!!!!] Job.
He has an anthology of his reviews called Hatchet Job. Had it been most ad-blurb copywriters he could have called it Feather-Duster Job, or Expensive-Perfume-and-Manicure Job, or [CENSORED!!!!!!!!!!] Job.
Headline of the Day:
Tauzin to Head MPAA
Though didn't he work for them anyway?
Read the comments here, and on Slashdot. This guy's having his head handed to him on a silver nitrate platter. Sorry sleazeball, this isn't '66.
Tauzin to Head MPAA
Though didn't he work for them anyway?
Read the comments here, and on Slashdot. This guy's having his head handed to him on a silver nitrate platter. Sorry sleazeball, this isn't '66.
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Halliburton Co., the former employer of Vice President Dick Cheney and second largest oilfield services company....
BIASED?!? WE'RE NOT BIASED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BIASED?!? WE'RE NOT BIASED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the Larry "$140 Million is Too Little" Kudlows forget is that conservatives can get shafted by crooked Wall Street ploys just as easily as liberals.
That small investors get the shaft -- well, they deserve it because they're small.
That small investors get the shaft -- well, they deserve it because they're small.
The Army has filed a criminal assault charge against an American officer who coerced an Iraqi into providing information that foiled a planned attack on U.S. soldiers.
Bad, BAAAAAAD guy.
Bad, BAAAAAAD guy.
Awwwwww, some poow wapper wost $1 million in bwing bwing.
Record a few Hitler speeches and bad off-rhymes and you'll get it back times a dozen!
Record a few Hitler speeches and bad off-rhymes and you'll get it back times a dozen!
Secretary Powell phones Red Cross chief to press stay-in-Iraq plea
Isn't that like begging them to leave?
Isn't that like begging them to leave?
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Mothers Calm, Cool and Courageous, Study Finds
Motherhood not only makes females smarter, it makes them calmer under pressure and more courageous, a U.S. researcher said on Tuesday.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Hope the luxury news suites don't have conniptions.
Motherhood not only makes females smarter, it makes them calmer under pressure and more courageous, a U.S. researcher said on Tuesday.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Hope the luxury news suites don't have conniptions.
The whole sprawl argument, in a nutshell: If you don't build it, people won't come; if you build it, too many people will come.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Happy birthday to you,
You belong in a zoo....
Well, a prison, anyway.
(AM I INFRINGING ON YOUR RIGHTS, TWX?!?!?)
You belong in a zoo....
Well, a prison, anyway.
(AM I INFRINGING ON YOUR RIGHTS, TWX?!?!?)
Loans Likely to Be Stripped From Iraq Aid
Excellent, if true. We must tell the Iraqis our commitment to them is backed by the full faith and credit or OUR government. This is the Marshall Plan II, and it could pay dividends just as the original one did. Of course there'll be misspending. When hasn't there been? That's a cost of procuring the Iraqis' freedom.
Just so long as they pay their parking tickets.
Excellent, if true. We must tell the Iraqis our commitment to them is backed by the full faith and credit or OUR government. This is the Marshall Plan II, and it could pay dividends just as the original one did. Of course there'll be misspending. When hasn't there been? That's a cost of procuring the Iraqis' freedom.
Just so long as they pay their parking tickets.
Egypt, Kuwait, Nigeria, "Indonesia, Morocco, Brazil, Pakistan, Senegal, Angola and Sudan" -- if they don't pay their parking tickets, we should send them MORE foreign aid!
That's how I'd do it.
That's how I'd do it.
As certain SOUTH PARK REPUBLICANS might say:
INSIDER TRADING IS NOT A CRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not to you it isn't.
INSIDER TRADING IS NOT A CRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not to you it isn't.
Figures: a rapper puts out a line of clothes made by sweatshop labor.
Now that's ATTITUDE.
And I really like this:
[W]omen [in the sweatshop] were given mandatory pregnancy tests and that those who tested positive were immediately fired.
Guess we call them HOs.
Now that's ATTITUDE.
And I really like this:
[W]omen [in the sweatshop] were given mandatory pregnancy tests and that those who tested positive were immediately fired.
Guess we call them HOs.
The question isn't just, how many more grossly mistreated adopted children are lurking. The question also is, how many utter incompetents pull down a check in government?
I don't know how many times I've read people justifying the war in Iraq saying, "Every death is a tragedy." It sounds a tad too defensive, like something meant to give a talking point to the opposition. Those who supported in war in Iraq shouldn't be defensive. The alternative, after all, is spelled out by the dirt and germs who paraded the other day -- retreat and dictatorship.
Another sign news hacks don't give a damn about what they print, so long as they get their BIIIIIIG salaries and entice gullible advertisers to flesh out their filler:
Cohen: Master of Fiction
This was the front-page link to a story by Richard Cohen in which he vituperates over the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvil Vice-President Inside. Such is this cry-baby's reputation, however, that the link could have referred to himself. A tiny bit of common sense would have resulted in Cohen: Dick Cheney, Fiction Master. But news hacks have no sense, and Richard Cohen is a master of fiction.
Cohen: Master of Fiction
This was the front-page link to a story by Richard Cohen in which he vituperates over the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvil Vice-President Inside. Such is this cry-baby's reputation, however, that the link could have referred to himself. A tiny bit of common sense would have resulted in Cohen: Dick Cheney, Fiction Master. But news hacks have no sense, and Richard Cohen is a master of fiction.
Joke of the Day:
Ted Kaczynski, who terrorized the nation with letter bombs for 17 years, is angry because his jailers are messing with his mail.
Ted Kaczynski, who terrorized the nation with letter bombs for 17 years, is angry because his jailers are messing with his mail.
Monday, October 27, 2003
Should the stock of the Bank principally pass into the hands of the subjects of a foreign country, and we should unfortunately become involved in a war with that country, what would be our condition? Of the course which would be pursued by a bank almost wholly owned by the subjects of a foreign power, and managed by those whose interests, if not affections, would run in the same direction, there can be no doubt. All its operations within would be in aid of the hostile fleets and armies without. Controlling our currency, receiving our public moneys, and holding thousands of our citizens in dependence, it would be more formidable and dangerous than the naval and military power of the enemy....
President Andrew Jackson, on why he closed the Bank of the United States, July 10, 1832.
President Andrew Jackson, on why he closed the Bank of the United States, July 10, 1832.
And in yet another indication that Andy S. and the Dr. are full of it, Matt Groening told The No-Spin Spin Zone's Favorite Interviewer, Terry Gross, that FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News threatened to sue him over a parody of the network on The Simpsons-- even though the show airs on FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and is number two on the all-time knee-jerk conservative favorite-TV-show list behind South Park). What say to that, Andy? Dr.?
Reach out and touch
Somebody's hand.
Make this world a better place...
IF YOU CAN.
Maybe this is what Bob "Chrysler" Lutz had in mind when he said, "Why should we feed the hand that bites us?"
Somebody's hand.
Make this world a better place...
IF YOU CAN.
Maybe this is what Bob "Chrysler" Lutz had in mind when he said, "Why should we feed the hand that bites us?"
And even before Andy S. gloated over the END OF THE CULTURE WAR, the Christian Science Monitor ran this story about how it's becoming impossible to criticize people on the air because of their race. A TREMENDOUS VICTORY, DR.!
Careless writers, right and left, have one thing in common: they write as though the Internet doesn't exist, or Nexis doesn't exist, or the "Find" function in IE doesn't exist, or the reader who takes their affronts to the intelligence personally doesn't exist. In this I include your typical news hack, and Dr. Brian.
[H]e first sought permission to use the New York Public Library and the Museum of Natural History but was rebuffed [sic] by both.
I suggest the New York Public Library and the Museum of Natural History had some sense in this.
I suggest the New York Public Library and the Museum of Natural History had some sense in this.
Sorry, Andy S., your NEW-WAVE CONSERVATISM is glibertarian. I define the glibertarian as embracing the worst of the knee-jerk liberal (laissez-faire morals) with the worst of the knee-jerk conservative (laissez-faire capitalism), mixed with a healthy dose of conceit. Furthermore, Dr. Brian's rancid stew of REVIVED CONSERVATISM (may we call it ANDYISM?) includes RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News, Dennis Miller (didn't he get booted off MNF?), WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, big-name blogs (oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!), and (all too predictably enough) South Park, the BRAVEHEART!!!!!!!!! of comedy -- in other words, ALL THE SHOW-BIZZY LOUDMOUTHS THAT OUGHT TO SHUT UP. (Also predictably enough, while FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! appears in the article fourteen times, and South Park appears sixteen times, abortion appears once, and Reagan -- not at all.) This sort of trend-foisting by numbers got suitably lambasted by Jack Shafer in Kinsley.com, and it's even worse when knee-jerk conservatives do it.
P. S. This expostulating clown "has a Ph.D. in political philosophy from the University of Ottawa, and an M.A. and B.A. from Boston College," which means some people simply can't graduate from higher education.
P. P. S. I notice that a paragraph involving Andy S. appears in a different font. Did you vet this with him at the last minute for his blogging approval, Dr. Brian?
P. P. P. S. This is from City Journal, which has proposed plunking dull neo-classical buildings on Lincoln Center and Ground Zero. I guess this is its version of getting a tattoo and a belly-button ring.
P. P. P. P. S. Except for the aside to Andy S., I'd bet this word processing demonstration went to bed long before Rush quit and Gregg got fired from ESPCN, two acts that prove PC LIVES.
P. S. This expostulating clown "has a Ph.D. in political philosophy from the University of Ottawa, and an M.A. and B.A. from Boston College," which means some people simply can't graduate from higher education.
P. P. S. I notice that a paragraph involving Andy S. appears in a different font. Did you vet this with him at the last minute for his blogging approval, Dr. Brian?
P. P. P. S. This is from City Journal, which has proposed plunking dull neo-classical buildings on Lincoln Center and Ground Zero. I guess this is its version of getting a tattoo and a belly-button ring.
P. P. P. P. S. Except for the aside to Andy S., I'd bet this word processing demonstration went to bed long before Rush quit and Gregg got fired from ESPCN, two acts that prove PC LIVES.
While attempting to find other interesting Web sites using Alexa's Top 500, a question struck me: How did Barbie.com get to be no. 268?!?!?
Stupid Headline of the Day:
Attack Is a Media Coup for Iraq Resistance, Experts Say
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Attack Is a Media Coup for Iraq Resistance, Experts Say
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Terrible Tina's a HIT -- an exploding HIT!! -- in the Post's news suite.
Why is this weeniette taken seriously?
Why is this weeniette taken seriously?
Add this "gutless careerist" to the list of people wanting JACK's job -- assuming Mr. GUMBO doesn't get it.
OR: "We just want conversations [emphasis added], and my editors want the same when I'm trying to sell YOUR [emphasis added] story to them."
OR: "We just want conversations [emphasis added], and my editors want the same when I'm trying to sell YOUR [emphasis added] story to them."
If you know your American history, you know Andy Jackson fought against a national bank. Well, here comes the dream of Larry "$140 Million is Too Little" Kudlow, Dick "Barney Fag" Armey, Jim "Dow 36,000" Glassman, and other looneys of the greed-is-good stripe: WE'RE GETTING A NATIONAL BANK! (Only it's not a bank, of course -- it's A NATIONAL FEE COLLECTOR!)
Sunday, October 26, 2003
A blurbist takes 1,626 words to do what I could do in fifty: Had Bernstein been (as Brooks Atkinson had hoped he would be, as he was probably too self-conscious ever to be) "America's Offenbach," Broadway and our culture would be much livelier. Instead we got Sondheim and his tuneless dead-end, his self-worshipping faith of ennui. But it hardly seems fruitful to point this out in even fifty words when our culture's taken so many wrong turns.
QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! strikes -- the GENERAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And he'd be the first to admit it.
And he'd be the first to admit it.
BLUNDER's ad-blurb copywriter wastes hundreds of thousands of his employer's money:
Here’s a verbal Rorschach test: when you hear the term “crowd-pleasing” attached to a movie, does it seem a recommendation or a dis?
"Crowd-pleasing," "critically-acclaimed," six of one ink blot....
Here’s a verbal Rorschach test: when you hear the term “crowd-pleasing” attached to a movie, does it seem a recommendation or a dis?
"Crowd-pleasing," "critically-acclaimed," six of one ink blot....
Maybe I spoke to soon: 435 people seem to want JACK's job. Which one will it be?
OH oh, another EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvil man: Orwell ratted on Commies.
The bozos who get their blood boiling over this know the meaning of "WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH."
The bozos who get their blood boiling over this know the meaning of "WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH."
In D.C., a Diverse Mix Rouses War Protest
Yes, dirt and germs do come in many varieties.
The mark of a spinner: this well-paid hack cites all the VETERANS who turned out. Therefore, being for TOTAL RETREAT from IRAQ is PATRIOTIC.
My guess is there was blood-curdling screaming in the Post's luxury news suite when it went on page A8.
Yes, dirt and germs do come in many varieties.
The mark of a spinner: this well-paid hack cites all the VETERANS who turned out. Therefore, being for TOTAL RETREAT from IRAQ is PATRIOTIC.
My guess is there was blood-curdling screaming in the Post's luxury news suite when it went on page A8.
Democratic Hopefuls Play Down Gun Control
The forces of reaction -- WIN AGAIN!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I don't like the NRA any better than I like JACK's Conspiracy, but at least in its favor, lots of little people own guns, and its membership is greater than SEVEN.
The forces of reaction -- WIN AGAIN!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I don't like the NRA any better than I like JACK's Conspiracy, but at least in its favor, lots of little people own guns, and its membership is greater than SEVEN.
You wasted all this time writing a boring insider-baseball tale about THE WALL STREET JOURNALS, Ken Auletta, when you could have written about SUMNER, the savior of the planet -- but then he went and did it for you!
The same BLUNDER rag whose super-duper PR wiz never stops sellabrating the movie that inspired Columbine goes AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
You still shaking out the cobwebs from that conference, MR. MARK? Or were they there from when you were BORN?
You still shaking out the cobwebs from that conference, MR. MARK? Or were they there from when you were BORN?