Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Monday, February 28, 2011




Nuf said...alas.

Well, one more thing: last night one of SUPERNIKKI!!!!!'s commenters remarked that there's a difference between an actor and a star. What Seymour Harvey Whatshisname does is ac-TING. What Meryl Streep does is ac-TING. The American Arthouse Awards had plenty of ac-TORS. Ac-TORS help explain the recent B. O. BOOM. Ac-TORS also explain the SUPER BOWL® FOR WOMEN™'s skyrocketing ratings.

A great star doesn't have to ACT. Just by being the force of nature she was Jane Russell made more men frustratedly, deliriously, mindlessly happy in one picture than the whole cadre of today's female ac-TORS (mustn't call them actresses) will have done their entire careers. Yes, there is a difference.

(Originally posted 7:21 p. m.; moved to preserve pride of place)


Let's see if news hacks, the beneficiary of innumerable partisan leaks, turn this into another tiresome GATE.

We note in this vein today somebody in WOLFFDOM made a thing about how the hinterlands don't care for BIGMEDIA manias like TINA!!!!! Why should they? This is the good judgment of the people versus the top-one-thousandth-of-one-percent IQs of the hacks. The dilution of scandal has much to do with BIGMEDIA and its obsessions, so much so that even with the worst scandals we think the covert angle first and not the contents. Thirty-seven years of the appearance of CRUSADING JERNALISM have done this to our body politic.

(Second link via MediaBistro)


The inaptly named Dan Bigman may be right: The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers would love to pay Charlie ANY amount if it would keep their ad fiefdoms happy and their spreadsheets in order, never mind if the clown out-Bozos Bozo. The demand's shrewd of Charlie, though not especially bright.


We've cringed repeatedly that RENDELLISM is all about creating burger-flipper jobs. Yesterday we cringed that RENDELLISM's reliance on EDS 'n' MEDS could be a "disaster". Well, BloomyBizWeek's chimed in, and....

While the unemployment rate dropped to 9 percent in January, from a two-decade peak of 10.1 percent in October 2009, many of the jobs people are now taking don't match the pay, the hours, or the benefits of the 8.75 million positions that vanished in the recession, according to Paul Ashworth, chief U.S. economist at Capital Economics in Toronto....

While the number of openings for food preparation and serving workers will grow by 394,000 in the decade ending in 2018, the average wage is only $16,430 including tips, based on 2008 data. Meanwhile, the number of posts for financial examiners, who work at financial-services firms to ensure regulatory compliance, will expand by just 11,100. The average pay for examiners is $70,930.

Lowe's (LOW), the second-largest U.S. home improvement retailer, typifies the reshuffling of the U.S. workforce. The chain, based in Mooresville, N.C., said on Jan. 25 it is eliminating 1,700 managers responsible for store operations, sales, and administration as profit growth trails that of the larger Home Depot (HD) chain. Meanwhile, Lowe's said it will add 8,000 to 10,000 weekend sales positions and is creating a new assistant store manager position.

The trend is troubling for the country's long-term prospects, says Edmund Phelps, who won the Nobel Prize for economics in 2006 and directs the Center on Capitalism and Society at Columbia University in New York. Businesses aren't innovating as much, so companies "just don't seem to require all those relatively high-paid workers they once did," he says.

The health-care industry is one example, the BLS said in a December report on the occupational outlook. As costs continue to rise, "tasks that were previously performed by doctors, nurses, dentists, or other health-care professionals increasingly are being performed by physician assistants, medical assistants, dental hygienists, and physical therapist aides."


GEE, THANKS, EDDIES!

Sunday, February 27, 2011


LINE OF THE NIGHT from SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

"You know there's a problem when Bob Hope has the best lines," one top Hollywood PRman emails.


ARCHDaily!



A police station from chopsticks and toilet paper!



Now see, this central market in Spain isn't quite so bad; it improves on a late-19th-century building. But even it has a bit of that starchitectural mememe that can render good designs NSG. We reiterate though this one isn't bad at all.


I cringe at following the Os-CARS® tonight. It will not do to say they've outlived their usefulness as they're VERY useful for show-off CEOs and spendthrift ad fiefdoms. They're about movies most people haven't seen and "stars" most people wouldn't know (excepting a certain talent who SCREAMED her way to critical acclaim and then made DONKEY of herself at an awards show -- and who is famous for one other reason). Today's winners are tomorrow's has-beens. We can say that because for one thing computers are doing to ac-TORS what they could do to physicians; whole server farms could make and distribute movees. And would the lunkhead core audience know? We doubt it. Despite our confident talk before we think it unlikely the two-month B.O. BOOM stems from sudden dissatisfaction with a long superior product, but this biz deserves revolution as much as any Arab country, with the same aim -- to throw the governing bums OUT.

P. S. I deleted a needlessly insulting remark about the looks of one of the presenters. But I beg of this godforsaken business -- why can't we have



THIS again?


Speaking of meds, future EDDIES will come up with a good excuse for making the human race synthetic (i.e., half-man, half-machine): it will consume less.

Quite likely -- because it can then mostly consume SOYLENT GREEN.


And near Jeff! part of the forlorn chunk of our former Gimbels store has been turned into a server farm. How did I know? Because some LUNKHEADED REALTORS plastered pictures of mostly empty floors with boxes in cages all over the windows on the Ninth Street side. Here's another secret of computing: An ultimate aim is set 'n' forget -- in short, VIRTUALLY NO HUMAN INTERVENTION. Let's get jobs out of SERVER FARMS, EDDIE!


Today curious at a construction crane not far from my Dark Shadows, only to see another Jefferson! building going up, I thought of another RENDELLISM: that if we create two million doctors we get permanent prosperity. With talk of computers replacing physicians in many capacities we can see more burger flippers only wearing white coats. EDS 'n' MEDS are a disaster zone because they rely on government money and higher health-care costs. Take out one or both props and you have unemployed. Our governing superiors just will NOT think of ways to encourage jobs for ORDINARY people, save stupid schemes like green power.


Our Convention Center's expansion is opening, and I'm depressed because we know the outcome: we get more third-rate "conventions" and America's Biggest Ghetto Mall will stay that way. EDDIES are convinced convention centers are panaceas when people can do the same things from their offices, and without enduring airport security and the joy of flying in aluminum bombs. I'm doubly depressed because the panaceas are supposed to replace real jobs when all they do is create glorified burger flippers and more debt. If the Republicans are serious in bringing down government costs they will put paid to the Taj Mahals -- and especially to those leeches who justify them with "studies".


We see The Last Airbender, which our parent of the Daily Nooz celebrated as a symbol of local industrial might (and wasted tax breaks), won the Golden Razzie for Worst Picture. That no one attends the Razzies (last year's charming exception excluded) says the biz takes them more seriously than the Os-CARS®. It should; the competition's much fiercer. Your typical cri-TIC will point to the thousands of out-STAND-ing movies he's seen in the last three months, with sales of $50,000; many Razzie nominees are box-office hits. We must note the Razzies would not have existed without ST. JACK OF VALENTI; they started and prospered during His reign and are now well enough publicized that they've come more than the Os-CARS® to represent fillum; we can't believe mere quality concerns aren't behind the current boom at the popcorn restaurants. Movees, McDonald's, the airlines and cable have proved it's possible to stiff your customers for a long time and not pay. Mickey D's came close to meltdown ignoring SOP (with luck it will someday happen again); airlines thankfully do go broke. The movee biz needs a meltdown -- as bad as The Last Airbender.

Filming starts this spring, with a sequel on the drawing board.

YES! GO FOR IT!

Saturday, February 26, 2011


Today for the first time we noticed something strange on the front page of our local Daily Nooz:

A publication of The Philadelphia Inquirer

In short, its new publisher, Philadelphia Any-Medium-But-Newsprint Inc., has finally admitted what its turnips knew instinctively for ages: the Nooz is but a tabloid edition of the StinkyInky. That it took decades for its publisher to admit it says that too many truths within and about the news biz are unspoken -- and despite economic indicators to the contrary it shows why the biz deserves more agony, even though in the end it hurts no one but the readers.


We did not wish to blather any more about THE CURE, but....

Oscars 2011: How the year's top films reflect the times

Many of this year's top movies portray dark themes or flawed characters. Why one culture watcher says they mirror this moment in history.


The culture watcher is Neal Gabler, and one can be sure he at least wears blinders. Okay Neal, riddle us this (in honor of The Dark Knight, the greatest film in history): Busby Berkeley greeted the Depression. Mickey and Judy greeted the conflagration in Europe. Those were among the darkest times for man. Yet somehow the moviemakers kept their chins up, and kept America's chin up. What is with you and the other hacks that movees must be as squalid as their times? You know the answer, Neal -- and you're too much the dissembling typist to admit it: the talent to make people forget their woes ISN'T THERE. So the masterworks of the CURE may better reflect the limitations and prejudices of their makers than the times -- and for this they truly pose a danger as they can become self-fulfilling.

One last bromide: Being hopelessly prejudiced and untalented the A-Ca-De-MY®'s members will of course vote for whatever picture the zeitgeist and the news hacks tell them to. Wouldn't it be something if they voted a longshot for the winner -- say, The Greatest Animated Film in History?

Of course that would mean it won where Snow White didn't, and posterity would laugh, but at least we'd thumb our very-well-fixed noses at the know-it-alls.


As the clock winds down to the rapturous opening of THE CURE FOR CANCER (aka THE SUPER BOWL® FOR WOMEN) we must reflect on two recent articles. Stefan Kanfer wrote a book about Humphrey Bogart that one of TINA!!!!!'s boys reviewed, and from our experience with his Marx brothers bio it probably isn't good either, but both the writers make an inescapable point: Bogie starred in movies for adults. "[O]f the 20 biggest grossing films of all time—all of them made between Jurassic Park (1993) and Alice in Wonderland (2010)—'Not one of these features can be considered a purely ‘adult’ film'." Of course if we go back to 1975 it's even more damning. "Puerile" overestimates the IQ of the films -- and of their fans. That Bogie is alive when movees are dead says we need heroes -- and we won't get them from tentpoles.

Then there's this story on ratings creep. We wouldn't pay it mind because anything on JACK'S ALPHABET BOTULISM BROTH will be disengaged and self-serving. But guessing how to solve an insoluble problem Timothy Noah backhandedly endorses a government-run ratings board -- and goes on to say this:

A likelier ultimate solution...is that American society will become more depraved and fewer and fewer films will receive R ratings. According to Waguespack and Sorenson, the conservative lament that MPAA ratings have become more forgiving of sex and violence over time turns out to be true. They don't quantify it, but "MPAA ratings have become progressively more permissive." Eventually Americans may let their kids see everything, and the MPAA ratings board may go the way of the National Legion of Decency. That would create problems of its own that would cause me to fret about my grandchildren. But MPAA favoritism would become a thing of the past.

Thankfully by that rapidly approaching time the movees already would be.

Speaking of JACK, where's ANGELO'S BOYFRIEND?


St. Warren tells another sacred fairy tale for His ever growing cult, insisting "our [SIC] citizens now live an astonishing six times better than when I was born." We know St. lives about six zillion times better than when He was born, thanks largely to investing in 1965. I think what God meant to say is to live life one day at a time; but when the world's divided among STS. and KOCHES and SOROSES and everyone else sharing the dregs the precept's a little harder to follow.

Friday, February 25, 2011


"[A]t the posh Boca Raton Resort and Club this week -- where Rolls Royce sightings were remarkably common", the knuckleheaded chauffeur-driven CEOs who run consumer products firms declared in suspicious unison that they'd raise prices and use the money to finance junk television. What a neat excuse to schmooze -- they can spend half their time in Hollywood (or Boca Raton if that ever gets dull) and blame it all on inflation! We will not be so impolitic to ask when these dimwits last shopped for themselves -- that would be like asking them how old they are -- but we will say we almost hope inflation proves so bad it might even hurt their wallets too, or shorten their tenures, which can't be short enough.


In news that America may not be changing for the better, MS. TRAVERS's favorite religiously selective hard-core satirical duo is apparently poised to have A SMASH!!!!!!!!!! in Branson East -- and the critics already have the raves programmed, as mocking such a superb act has a strong downside -- but we would say this: There was a smash satirical show back in 1937. It was called Hellzapoppin'. And that had a duo too: Olsen and Johnson. Anyone here remember them?

A comedy hodgepodge full of sight gags and slapstick, the show was continually rewritten throughout its run to remain topical; its opening scene was Hitler speaking in a Yiddish accent.

Sounds like our boys 74 years ago.


Speaking of the Census Bureau, DVFORBESLISTBLOG says America's becoming a different nation. Whether a nation that's further calcifying in the suburbs (and, we suspect, for all the talk of diversity, may be racially and ethnically calcifying as well) is truly any different is another matter.


Speaking of an annoyance from AHTSJournal:

Industry report: INTERNATIONAL BOX-OFFICE REVENUE SOARS IN 2010!!!!! [Soaring overemphasis added]

OR:

Although the number of people who saw movies was up 3% last year at 223 million...

...which is perhaps THREE PERCENT of the world's population....

...each person saw fewer movies on average -- six in 2010 down from 6.5 the previous year.

TRANSLATION: The hard-core movee fans are idiots -- and even they are starting to see the perils of their addiction.


And as the press agents who call themselves reporters bring their selling of THE CURE FOR CANCER (aka THE SUPER BOWL® FOR WOMEN) to a fever pitch they make us think: are we wrong? Should we go to the movies every weekend? Perhaps the movees ARE better than ever! Is something wrong with us? But then I think of the several stories that have slighted the Os-CAR® experience, and then there's this graf:

There would be some tweaking of his fellow celebrities, yes, but no low blows such as Jon Stewart intoning that Hollywood was "out of touch with mainstream America," or Chris Rock dismissing the Academy by saying that most people hadn’t seen the nominated films.

I suspect ED MURROW was in His critically-acclaimed IRONIC style, but if you add up the BEE-OH for all the nominees we'd guess maybe a fifth of America has been to see ONE of them, and that's generous. Therefore we shall remain ensconced in our ignorance.

P. S. at 6:23 P. M. SUPERNIKKI PROMISES "ANOTHER SNOREFEST"!!!!! Go get 'em, NIK!


CJR ties itself in knots trying to figure out how to justify the KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! that GLOBAL WARMING CAUSES DISASTERS!!!!!!!!! But even CJR must admit it is human enough that it cannot be certain, and being certain one way or the other could exacerbate disaster. But JERNALISTS are so certain how GOOD they are we expect the KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! to continue.

Thursday, February 24, 2011


As Koch Industries moves forward, both executives say, its leaders will be undeterred by criticism and remain involved in various business and political projects. “This campaign against Koch Industries has been going on for over a year,” Holden says. “Charles and David Koch are not going to be silenced. They are principled men and we have a principled company.”

REWRITE!

As George Soros moves forward, he will be undeterred by criticism and remain involved in various business and political projects. “This campaign against him has been going on for years,” an associate says. “George Soros is not going to be silenced. He is a principled man and we have principled company.”

SIX OF ONE....


Speaking of Starbucks, how do you know when an NBA team stinks? When it offers coupons on MICKEY D's tray liners!



Speaking of MICKEY D's, the company has successfully turned oatmeal into JUNK FOOD!


Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi blames unrest on al Qaeda, accusing Osama bin Laden of exploiting Libya's youth. [CNN International]

?!?!?!?!?!? The man who supposedly ordered the Lockerbie bombing blames a fellow terrorist?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


If we had a TV this would almost be enough to entice us into thinking of watching the Os-CARS®. That flubs are the evening's highlight says either these mammoth talents don't know what they're doing, or worse, when they know what they're doing they don't know what they're doing.

We'll be following the sacred ceremony through blogs, which is far more entertaining.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


SPJ scolds Buffalo Beast for call to Wisconsin governor

Romenesko Misc.
The Society of Professional Journalists says “this interview was underhanded and unethical” and “credible news organizations should be cautious about how they report this already widely reported story, and must realize that the information was obtained in a grossly inappropriate manner according to longstanding tenets of journalism.” Full release after the jump.

Society of Professional Journalists (SPJ) release

SPJ: Remember ethics in wake of fake phone call with Wisconsin governor

INDIANAPOLIS – The Society of Professional Journalists, through its Ethics Committee, strongly condemns the actions of an alternative online outlet this week when an editor lied and posed as a financial backer in a recorded phone call with Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker.

Ian Murphy, editor of the Buffalo Beast, represented himself as billionaire businessman and conservative activist David Koch, a financial supporter of Gov. Scott Walker, so that he could gain access to the governor by phone. He spoke with the governor under these false pretenses. Read a full account from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

During the phone call, Murphy, as Koch, baited the governor with questions about liberals in the media and the Democrats who have vacated the statehouse to prevent a vote on a collective bargaining bill. Near the end of the call, Murphy tells the governor that once Walker crushes the unions and their Democratic base, he (as the pretend Koch) will fly Walker to California and “really show you a good time.”

Walker responded: “All right. That would be outstanding.”

“This tactic and the deception used to gain this information violate the highest levels of journalism ethics,” said SPJ Ethics Committee Chairman Kevin Z. Smith. “To lie to a source about your identity and then to bait that source into making comments that are inflammatory is inexcusable and has no place in journalism.”

The Buffalo Beast website was down as of Wednesday afternoon.

Though the Buffalo Beast purports to be an alternative news site with heavily slanted views that are neither fair nor objective, the fact remains that this interview was underhanded and unethical. Credible news organizations should be cautious about how they report this already widely reported story, and must realize that the information was obtained in a grossly inappropriate manner according to longstanding tenets of journalism.

SPJ’s Code of Ethics clearly states that journalists should “be honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting news.”

The Code also says to avoid “undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public.”

SPJ President Hagit Limor said what happened represents “a new low” for anyone claiming to be a journalist. “This may be how Hollywood portrays reporters, but no journalist worth his salt ever would misrepresent his name and affiliation when seeking an interview. Murphy should be ashamed not only of his actions but of besmirching our profession by acting so shamelessly.”

Journalists and news organizations should take note to carefully explain how this information was obtained and take measures not to engage in similar unethical practices.


TRANSLATION: Every last news hack was dancing on his, her or its desk.


The Great Recession and the slump that followed have triggered a jobs crisis that's been making headlines since before President Obama was in office, and that will likely be with us for years. But the American economy is also plagued by a less-noted, but just as serious, problem: Simply put, over the last 30 years, the gap between rich and poor has widened into a chasm.

Gradual developments like this don't typically lend themselves to news coverage. But MOTHER JONES MAGAZINE....
[Not-so-gradual overemphasis added]

The current battle between knee-jerk news hacks and their followers and hard-core con-SER-va-tives shows why the truth has become an impossibility on the Web. This is just a variation. Sure as there is a God in Cupertino NRO or AmSpec could shoot back with their own version of the truth. Occasionally partisans of both stripes can admit their side is less than 100-percent right, but it so decreasingly happens as to make many Web sites permanently suspect. And however well intentioned we suspect Mother Jones is trying to make A POINT rather than a case -- and the dreadful thing is we suspect it's right.


HENRY HONEST! is EXCITED!! because WALL STREET is EXCITED!!! because it saw VIDEO of GREEK RIOTERS THROWING MOLOTOV COCKTAILS!!!!!!!!!!

This is just another excuse for the algorithms and UNCLE BEN sending stocks zooming up for no good reason.


Great idea, Gov -- replacing collective-bargaining agreements with LAWSUITS!

The best-laid plans of MICE...

Somebody lay me odds this goes to the Nine Fingers anyway.

(Via -- oh well -- NPNTR)


France urges EU sanctions on Libya

There goes the European oil biz! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!


Ticonderoga Securities analyst Brian White this morning asserted that yesterday’s sell-off in [Stevedom] has given investors a chance to get into the stock on the CHEAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Cheap overemphasis added)

BONO! TURN OFF THE WEB SITE!




We wonder -- how much has the Gould-Fisk revival helped recruiting in the luxury news suites that are largely union-controlled?

Please hacks, promise you'll never ever ever again talk about objectivity?


Lloyd Blankfein, Goldman Sachs Group Inc.’s chairman and chief executive officer, warned against raising base salaries on Wall Street less than eight months before his own more than tripled to $2 million.

Thus saith THE LORD!


(Via Seeking Alpha)


In the midst of its big Jay Gould-Jim Fisk kick someone at NRO has actually noticed Libya, and has further noticed with Muammar gone the world might face a Somalia on the Mediterranean.


The NEW! IMPROVED!! ADAGE!!! reports that Kraft Foods is finding the best of two worlds: raising prices on the peons and spending the money for more schmoozing in Hollywood!

Do I hear a few wallets closing?

Churches tithe ten percent for holy work; Kraft tithes ten percent for junk TV. IDIOTS.


This astonishing list of all the pahties celebrating the Os-CARS® makes us wonder whether the select crowds are celebrating for all their genius or celebrating from it.


Run, Sexy, run!

This would be almost as much a gift to Democrats as SARAH!!!!!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Though any number of dead and injured is way too high the fact that the casualties in Christchurch remain relatively low for a city its size suggests a smart and alert citizenry.


With this second PEOPLE, INC. executive leaving the building we could say these guys have a reason for leaving -- a reason that, naturally, they will never share with the peons, a reason reflected in the fatness of People and the skinniness of a certain NEWSRAG.




Justin Bieber’s Haircut Was ‘Calculated Move'

Gee whillikers! You really think so? Honest to gods how would we have known without the intrepid Hollywood Reporter?!?!?

Of course we did a little experiment with G000,000,000GLE News which NEWS HACKS totally aced: how many of them mentioned when Mary Pickford went to the barber's?

She played a reckless socialite in Coquette (1929), a role where she no longer had her famous curls, but rather a 1920s bob; Pickford had cut her hair in the wake of her mother's death in 1928. Fans were shocked at the transformation.[17] Pickford's hair had become a symbol of female virtue, and cutting it was front-page news in The New York Times and other papers.[citation needed] Coquette was a success and won her an Academy Award for Best Actress,[18] but the public failed to respond to her in the more sophisticated roles.

Despite that deadly "citation needed" we can believe this, far more than we can believe the hacks' gushing twaddle over this latest talent-free heartthrob.

"The tools of ignorance is a nickname for a catcher's protective equipment: catchers mask, chest protector, and shin guards." For the news hack the tools of ignorance are a computer, a pliant outlet, and the vast emptiness between his ears.


The news hacks have a new thing: SILENT CLARENCE. We know, guys, we KNOW -- HE'S A NAZI. Be up front: if he yakked on the bench you'd be over him for that TOO. In this Finger's defense we'd point to the news hacks, who yakyakyak and say nothing. Maybe Clar is being stupid. Or maybe he's thinking -- or best of all, maybe he's showing up the yakyakyak that has overwhelmed our society and that news hacks so ARDENTLY espouse.


After this kind of a day and Walmart and HP entering the slough of despond how can the tooth-fairy inspired GEKKO KUDLOWS boom the markets tomorrow?

Never underestimate the power of positive thinking -- from POLLYANNAS.


A municipal worker can hardly be dispassionate on Wisconsin. Look, we all know why the GOP's pushing this -- to do to big labor what Democrats have tried to do to the likes of SLIME. There's no way around it; it's political. How odd that the same con-SER-va-tives who screamed of totalitarian government under Babs and Whiny are silent when a Republican-controlled state government rams through their dream legislation. Odd, but hardly unexpected. But this is where half-a-dozen of the other kicks in with the infantile (and possibly illegal) tactics of the unions and their lackeys. Conservatives would be on firmer ground if they centered the argument on money. Rubber rooms cost money; preposterous grievance procedures cost money; generous overtime costs money. Putting it that way the unions would truly be defending the indefensible. But Gov. Walker has reminded us why the party of Lincoln is the party of Jay Gould and Jim Fisk, and he further reminds us that in the end it's just a matter of whose back is scratched. And we must view the party that brought us THE PATRIOTIC TRAITOR and THE RED-STATE SCORPION with PERMANENT suspicion. The unions must make sacrifices more than their lack of courage will permit; but they must not be for the kind of permanent reelection campaigns Democrats perfected, and which Republicans are trying to ape.

Monday, February 21, 2011


Well this is very bad but at least New Zealand has the stuff inner and outer to pull out of it, unlike Haiti, condemned to its misery.


Shenanigans like this are why we're ready to call Him His Incompetence again.


Speaking of Hollywood villains, we could not do better than this comment:

Chris Dodd is one of the most corrupt, cynical and hypocritical American politicians I have seen in my lifetime, and I say that as a life-long Democrat. Now, he will put those qualities to work lobbying for Hollywood producers, some of the most cynical, greedy people on the planet. Glad to see he has found his niche in the private sector.

Hey Mr. Mortgage! Plaster that on the wall behind your desk! You've arrived!


Record U.S. Cattle, Hog Prices Seen on Shrinking Herds, China

But say, you think there's a chance Uncle Ben and His constituents could go a bit too far?


Crude oil jumps 6% as Libya protests spread

More good news for Uncle Ben's constituents!


"The bellman told me this was the handicapped room. DO I LOOK [BLEEP]ING HANDICAPPED TO YOU?????" [Bleeping overemphasis added]

In our eyes, Faye, yes.

(Via NEWSER!)


Calling Muammar a madman used to be a mere figure of speech. Not anymore.

"Military planes are attacking civilians, protesters in Tripoli now. The civilians are frightened. Where is the United Nations, where is Amnesty International?" al-Warfali told Reuters.

Where they always are -- permanently bunkered.


DVFORBESLISTBLOG and P-Ulitzer-Prize winning fashion cri-TICS get down to the pressing issue of SEXISM in the FASHION BIZ!

BONO! Sell the whole thing and spend the money on ADVERTISING -- and SAFETY EQUIPMENT!


That Jeff "I AM NOT A MOGUL!!!!!" Bew-KES and CHICKEN ZAKARIA are the stars of this Commentary plaint over the lack of free speech at Yale underlines BIGMEDIA's central hypocrisy. As we've said too many times to count, when BIGMEDIA screams First Amendment grab hold of your wallet. And the "rights" they'd grant themselves they wouldn't grant others. Plainly JEFF is a cipher and CHICKEN is a coward, but that does not lessen their culpability, or their disgrace.


The reason noble things like getting kids to eat better school lunches may not work is that the way government choreographs them they're a mix of impractical idealism and brutal dogma. We don't want the young eating SALT! NO SALT! NEVER!! So we don't put salt on vegetables, meaning they taste terrible, meaning the kids don't eat vegetables. Common sense would say it should be possible to make healthy foods taste good. This sort of national-nanny stupidity is why we can never trim enough fat from government and why Wisconsin's public-worker unions are on the losing side regardless of the GOP's true plans.

Sunday, February 20, 2011


Good news for Richie Riches who want to help the environment:

Rolls-Royce to Make All-Electric Phantom


If it's Sunday it must be Big-Double-A-Scribble Time:

If THIS doesn't get all American broadcasters to pinch themselves and thank gods they're alive: The auto-insurance biz has granted them a permanent subsidy selling products most people don't know from Adam. Who's to blame? "Warren BUFFET" [SIC!], for making "funny" ads. Also the Web, for allegedly spawning competition. But you can always be sure when advertising kicks in -- it's gotten one money waster to burn some green on the proposed LA NFL taxpayer boondoggle...and:

There are no fewer than 11 major TV campaigns on air, running the risk of consumer confusion.

Plainly these morons are hoping people get so confused they can steal business -- and possibly steal it in ways other than mere advertising. We wouldn't try that, St. WARRENS -- your biz is REGULATED.


[T]he art markets of 2007 and 2011 are very different. Nicolai Frahm, who speculates on contemporary art, sees the market as more selective now. “Artists come in and out of fashion very fast,” he says, “making it very difficult to predict what will happen.” Cheyenne Westphal, Sotheby’s chairman of contemporary art Europe, explains: “What defined the boom for me is that you could buy one season, sell the next and make a profit. Things are different now. High prices are being achieved but you can’t turn the work around so quickly.”



Oh really?


Nascar is buoyed by some early successes this season. A landmark deal with Wal-Mart Stores Inc. began this week, while Fox’s ratings for last weekend’s action — Saturday’s Budweiser Shootout race and Sunday’s qualifier for the Daytona 500, both at the Daytona International Speedway in Daytona Beach, Fla. — were up over last year. Advertising revenues are also rising.

“There’s an excitement level around the sport right now that we haven’t seen for some time,” said Eric Shanks, president of Fox Sports, which will broadcast 13 of this season’s 36 races.

Fox, like MarketWatch, is owned by News Corp.


This is EXHIBIT NUMBER 283,742,910 in why people do not trust news hacks anymore.



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO SAM!

Saturday, February 19, 2011


NO! DVFORBESLISTBLOG says we might NOT be in an era of permanent prosperity for the superrich?!?!?

P. S. Actual last two grafs:

David Kelly, who helps oversee $450 billion as chief market strategist at JPMorgan Funds, says the lack of volatility may encourage investors to put more money into the market, which is what they should do. "Stocks are cheap," he says, "and for most long-term investors, the thing they would do is bet on the tide rather than play the waves."

The bottom line: The low level of volatility the market has seen recently has often heralded periods of subpar returns.


$60,000,000,000 / $3,834,000,000,000 = 1.564 PERCENT.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Friday, February 18, 2011


Megan McArdle:

[I]s it somehow morally wrong for the Wisconsin legislature to change the rules under which it will bargain with its employees? It's incoherent even as a question. The legislature is the entity which is supposed to set those terms--and it's no more outrageous for the GOP to favor small businessmen and the self-employed than it was for Democrats to favor a constituency which has become (as we now see) a de facto arm of the Democratic Party.


Fear of 'Catastrophic' Crash Rising Despite Bull Market

THE BIGGER THEY ARE....

And the Wall Street Casino dealers want to make it REALLY big!

Overall volume has been very light in the market though, as the individual investor put more money into bonds last year than stocks in spite of the gains. Strategists said this has been one of the longer bull markets (starting in March 2009) with barely any retail participation.

TRANSLATION: ALGORITHMS AND UNCLE BEN.


Why the NASDAQ index should hit at LEAST 50,000 this year -- thanks to the IPAD:

I’ve seen a lot of crowded tech categories before, but this is comical. The makers will all build too much tablet inventory based upon their optimistic internal forecasts. That will lead to an epic glut and then a pricing bloodbath, as they try to give the stuff away. It should make for some great short-selling opportunities among the tablet component makers later this year. For now, we’re in the unbridled optimism phase for tablets.

(Via I Want Media)


The con-SER-va-tive Detroit News seems upset that Michigan's new governor wants to slash the movee industry's dole in his state, burying this interesting ditty in the ninth and tenth grafs:

Proponents of the film incentives, including former Gov. Jennifer Granholm, have said the efforts have helped create an emerging industry. An estimated 7,000 jobs were created in Michigan in 2008 and 2009 and more than $300 million was spent on productions in the Great Lakes State in 2010, according to the Michigan Film Office.

A September 2010 Senate Fiscal Agency report, however, found Michigan paid nearly twice as much money in incentives as the industry brought to the state in a two-year period. The state spent $137.5 million to generate $80.6 million in revenue, and the efforts cost taxpayers more than $190,000 to create a single full-time job.


Multiply this by a million and you have our debt boondoggle.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


We have not commented on George Shearing, but Terry Teachout did, and now regret we couldn't have done the same. We confess to not having turned much to his co-op blog anymore as he doesn't seem to write much for it, but this link is as good as he gets.


And the next time the obsequious truth-bending six- and seven-digit life-lucky hacks give off a steady giggle over their show-biz favorites trendily giving birth out of what used to be called wedlock, they might read something like this.

I HATE NEWS HACKS!


Here's a piece that deserved comment spam; sadly KAPLAN, INC. seems prepared for it. This would seem proof the proprietors of our leading Web sites judge the quality of their work by how many comments it gets (Yahoo! should be high on that list); all they do is shortchange those surfers tired of the wild-goose chase and of being roundly insulted. Further proof: the article gives no comments count, forcing you to click on a "More" bar to see them all.

Proof it may not work: One small box ad in the whole thing, and not from a big advertiser.


TWO "NEWS" STORIES I'D RATHER NOT HEAR OF AGAIN: 1. Untold thousands of women are sexually assaulted each year. So why these last few days have we only heard of one? Well, because she's one of the news hacks', and in their clannishness they could cause all Judaism to convert. It's no accident that while the hacks have sent their nonstop cards and letters of condolence (and His Omnipotence's phone call was as much to the hacks too -- a symbol that he owes them untold thanks for His election) they've gone into their favorite behavior of radio silence over Egypt because that story doesn't have sex. Of course this was an awful crime. Let us not forget though The Thug brutalized Egypt. And while the reporter will recover Egypt's prognosis is not so clear. Good reporting could help Egypt recover. We wouldn't expect it. And the more "our" colleague grabs the attention the less likely assaulted women will be helped.

2. Watson proves nothing except news hacks love any story where BIGMEDIA are the center of attention, and that when IBM puts it mind to it it can rustle up consulting sales. (And far from the old wives' tale most news hacks no doubt believe, IBM isn't that much in manufacturing anymore -- witness Lenovo.) But the notion that machines can't ultimately better humans is plain wrong; it won't happen now but we'd guess it will happen with hiccups. And it will happen because man has shown too many faults, and one of them is hoping machines can rid him of his original sin.


Wisconsin's Democrats have thrown a statewide tantrum, which will not prevent its Republican governor from getting his way. But we wonder -- The Badger State, last we looked, was still a blue state. What's to prevent some Democratic governor from returning the status quo? What's to prevent tantrums every time there's a change of power?

We still think the ultimate purpose of such legislating is for Republicans to help their BFFs the hyperrich; but Democrats have shown today they're the BFFs of the dead hand.


"Our goal is to kill or to capture Osama bin Laden," Holder said in response to a reporter's question during a news called to discuss health care fraud prosecutions. "If he were to be captured, we would--the national security team would get together and would determine where appropriately he would be held."

New York -- I guess that's out; Leavenworth -- no, can't do it there; Alcatraz, uh -- gee whiz, where can we put this guy?


How many of the talking heads quoted in all these reports of a HISTORICALLY BOOMING ECONOMY!!!!! have been employed in one form or another as SALESMEN?


In the next few years, conservatives are going to have to cut entitlements and social spending. To retain their credibility, they must apply the same standards of fiscal responsibility to agribusiness that they apply to other areas.

Good luck -- when it's business.


We see from SUPERNIKKI!!!!! that PEOPLE WARNER has hired someone who looks like the winner of the Miss USA Pageant to play Wonder Woman, and all her fans are squealing WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!! (or are those PEOPLE WARNER employees?), and given this will be on CONCAST NETWORK we hope it doesn't make a full season. "Ben Silverman" indeed.

P. S. at 1:45 p. m. PEOPLE WARNER's DC COMICS PICTURES TELEVISION DIVISION uses PEOPLE INC. to use ITS NEWSRAG'S SITE to quote ITS FLAGSHIP on the story with a slightly more flattering picture. SYNERGY'S BETTER THAN EVER!



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR-THUS-FAR AWARD TO MEGAN, RICHARD "CAN ANYONE HERE EDIT THIS MAGAZINE" STENGEL, JOHN "HOOEY" HUEY AND JEFF!

P. P. S. COMMENT OF THE DAY, which appears no fewer than SIX TIMES thus far:

Lauren Jones 10:40 am

******

It's a Little off Topic but Anyone Looking for a Job
Should Check Out this Website!

They are Hiring People to Work from Home for $67 / hour

[Original link and URL removed -- link spam]

This Job Program has saved Our Whole Family from
the Recession!

And I Can Work from Home with my Kids !

They are 2 positions left in the Job Progam.

*******


[All SIC!!!!!!!!!!]

P. P. P. S. at 10:40 p. m. How apt on the day of one of its greatest post-Warner Communications synergies JEFF fires the head of PEOPLE INC. If he inspired this claptrap I say richly deserved, as if it weren't in other ways.


Of course then we'd have to give up Megan McArdle, but she could always start a blog.


What Palin (and Other GOP Leaders) Doesn't Get About Ronald Reagan

That he was A LIBERAL!!!!!

Your Lordship, couldn't You buy The Atlantic -- it IS "profitable" -- and put it behind Your Wall too?


The Lord God Pinch has kept mightily quiet about His Plans for The Wall. In light of this ad, Dear God, don't You think it's about time?



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO ITSY-BITSY ITZ!


Another complaint against Notre Dame Football Factory. Why should it be any better than the church it nominally represents?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


PEOPLE NEWSRAG's running more show-biz "news"!

You really think running more press releases will save your withered hag of a rag, huh JEFF?

(Via MediaBistro)


Is any profession save very-high-end medicine and engineering immune from computer replacements? Here's one reason why I think the "future" of man is half-man, half-computer, and thankfully I'll be long gone before that utopia arrives.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


TRANSLATION: Given that a day is still resolutely 24 hours long however many channels they add the cable oligarchs' rate raises remain price gouging.

In a reversal from previous studies, the price of expanded basic was slightly more, and the increase slightly larger, in areas where the FCC had determined there was effective competition.

So much for that fairy tale.

"Most cable customers subscribe to digital cable and other services so they are enJOOOOOOOOOOOOYing a bundled discount plus have hundreds of channels and other interactive features to choose from!!!!! When you consider that total TV viewing continues to rise year after year, consumers are clearly demonstrating that they enJOOOOOOOOOOOOY their video service!!!!!" [Enjoyable overemphasis added]

TRANSLATION: We gouge 'em multiple ways.




HEY ANT! I was all ready to buy the complete Ant and the Aardvark cartoons till I learned someone beat me to it and posted all seventeen of them on YouTube, saving me from paying for nothing. They're not 720 resolution but at 360 they're pretty good for stuff ripped from a DVD. (The Seal of Valenti disconcertingly graces the credits, a wan joke.) Anything from the likes of Friz Freleng will have that Warner Bros. touch but by now it had grown so wan as to be missing, replaced by the heavy hand of bad sitcoms. (Or rather the bad fin de siecle Road Runner cartoons with dialogue; both were made on the Warner lot.) The animation's okay for TV -- and face it, they were made for TV; several bear post-theatrical laugh tracks that United Ar...MGM was too lazy to remove from the disc -- but it still cheats. Doing the same things they did far better twenty-five years before the hacks under Freleng and his producing partner David H. DePatie telegraphed their gags as baldly as Seymour Kneitel, treating their audiences much as rocks, anvils and Tabasco sauce treat the Aardvark. (They were not helped by a mickey-mouse all-star jazz band playing the theme music in ten different tempos.) They earned their reward in more wage-slavery as DePatie-Freleng became a second Hanna-Barbera. And who remembers either but cartoon buffs -- who may not want to? These moth-eaten shorts would be well nigh unwatchable less the brilliant mimicry of John Byner as Jackie Ma -- the Aardvark; I cannot regard that acidic comedian without expecting him to bellow "HEY ANT!" And what's best, Byner's funnier than Jackie Mason.

But even he can't save the fourth remake of some wood shavings off Termite Terrace; the cartoons are still bad free or not, but at least I have an excuse not to collect any more dust with my video library than I have to.

Confession: I own an unopened five-disc box of Pink Panthers because Oldies.com sold it for $30, and I don't expect much pleasure from them either.

P. S. I originally posted this yesterday with the unforced error that only the Aardvark's head and neck were animated to save DePatie and Freleng money; but then look how the lack of humor was animated.

P. P. S. on 2/20/2011 at 3:15 p. m. The great non-sequitur Friz never thought of: How many ants live in the whole world -- and why must the Aardvark pick on one ant?


BEN AT WORK:

By early next year, the U.S. banking industry will have too much capital, rather than too little, J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. Chief Executive Jamie Dimon said Tuesday during an investor presentation.

“I’m worried about how much capital is going to build up in the system in the U.S.,” Dimon said. “In 12 months we’re looking at a lot of capital we can’t use. That may make people do stupid things.”


DO THEM! We know you can.


"Sequels aren't the same as they used to be," says Don Harris, distribution executive for Paramount Pictures, whose big sequels include July 1's Transformers: Dark of the Moon, the third installment of the blast-happy franchise. "It's not pandering to just fans. If you're just in the business of making sequels, you'll be out of business."

Look Donny baby, we know ya gotta shine SUMNER's shoes but do you have to shine them so bright we can see his reflection hundreds of miles away?

Wouldn't "THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED!" have been more honest?

Monday, February 14, 2011


Just now we have come across something we have not seen in ages, which we found here: the main and end titles of David Wolper's NBC documentary series Hollywood and the Stars. I can still recall the open forty-six years later: the camera dollying back through the depressingly lit soundstage, empty but for a rudimentary set, the cameras, the spotlights (which really should be off to match the mood), the boom mike, a ladder and a director's chair, and forever searing my memory Elmer Bernstein's painfully eloquent music. This was a eulogy to Hollywood, to an industry whose best days even in 1964 were in the increasingly distant past. We think of this now that Grate.com has run an annoying piece about how, in no small way guided by the hacks who CRITICALLY ACCLAIM, ac-TORS have become SFX, indistinguishable in their histrionics from CGI because the movees are nothing but. We cannot console ourselves that the nineteenth-century stage surely burst with the overripest smelliest half-baked ham acting because better techniques did come along, techniques that in time allowed the stage and film to become a pathway to the truth; and now here is a bankrupt business returning to the worst excesses of the days before the glove salesmen because it has trained its diminishing audience to expect more of it while delivering ever less. As we said the other day, this industry's attendance decline, with luck, is permanent.

Cue the music, Elmer.

P. S. on 8/29/2011 at 10:35 p. m. We can now see on that sofa on the set somebody's sitting there -- and appropriately enough, he isn't moving.

I hope to soon post an edited version of the theme using the main and end titles. Bernstein's theme appears at least twice else on the Web -- in a biography on Al Jolson and a vastly overproduced modern version with a lot of extraneous matter, from an Elmer Bernstein tribute CD set.


Marriot to split in 2

It already has!


Con-SERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-va-tives -- be VERY ANGRY:

Obama budget ends tax cuts on wealthy


If this is more than idle GanNETtoid chat this means USAOKAY!!!!! becomes a strictly sports and entertainment paper (as if it isn't already) to "appeal" to the masses they think it appeals to. I can't see GanNETt folding OKAY!!!!! because it would strike at its own identity and be a mortal blow to the rag's founder SOB. But God knows it deserves it. The Life analogy inspires hope.

(Via the usual Romy)


What would Gomer Pyle say?

Cuban government and union officials are acknowledging for the first time that a drive to fire half a million unneeded state workers has gotten off to a slow start, due to a lack of communication within the Labor Ministry and incompetence among the thousands of commissions set up to decide who gets the ax.

SurPRAHSE, surPRAHSE, surPRAHSE!


With a $670 BILLION defense budget how do we know what we need and what we don't?

Then add the rest of our budget and our government looks like a MORASS.


Stability isn't the army's only concern: money matters too. Egypt's half-million-strong armed forces receive $1.3 billion a year from the U.S., and they maintain significant investments in the national economy. Soldiers staff military-owned companies that produce everything from olive oil to washing machines, televisions, cement and even the ubiquitous Safi brand of bottled water. The military owns land, operates hotels and runs construction companies. Retired generals are often offered lucrative positions on the boards of private companies. "It's not exactly the military-industrial complex in the American sense," says Carapico, "but it's close."

I guess that means we're stuck with giving for a while, sighhhhhhhhhh.


DVFORBESLISTBLOG gets excited over a publicity stunt:

The press is all over this Jeopardy! Challenge, and rightfully so. Such HOLY-CRAP!!!!! innovation from an American company is just what we need at a time when everyone is concerned about America falling behind China and its ilk. Jeopardy! may seem like a silly application for such an expensive effort by one of the world’s largest technology companies, but IBM is testing a system that opens frontiers in software intelligence. [Holy emphasis added]

First off, one could strongly argue IBM is not an American company. Second building gee-whiz devices will not help the unemployed. Third we won't get out of our funk building an economy that's gee-whiz geniuses and everybody else.

And we can see why this guy lost to Watson. He says JEOPARDY!!!!!'s "on ABC". What is "syndication"?


See, as the news hacks told us in 2008, we don't need a foreign policy president, we need one who can fix the economy.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The next time a ROCK mus-SICK cri-TICK tells us POP MUSIC IS BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!, all I have to do is recall the last time I visited a newsstand, and how skinny the papers looked, and then I'll think, there is a God.


Cotton for March delivery rose 3.9% to settle at $1.8758 a pound on ICE Futures U.S., just shy of the $1.89 record hit during the Civil War. Prices surged the exchange-permitted daily limit of seven cents a pound.

The run-up was largely attributed to speculative buying, not the textile industry.

"I cannot say this clearly enough: this is not mill buying," said Sharon Johnson, a senior cotton analyst at Penson Futures. "Mills cannot buy at these prices. The vast majority has already done what they need to do."


REMEMBER, John Stossel, the speculator is YOUR FRIEND!


“It’s just a bad version of a newspaper in electronic form with a very condescending view of the audience.”

And since when have you, JAKE, thought of your audience as anything above IDIOTS?

(Via MediaBistro)


The last time that con-SER-va-tive conference endorsed RON!!!!! PAUL!!!!!!!!!! we paid it no mind, but consider: It presaged SARAH!!!!! and the Tea Party. The rank and file wish to be heard, whatever their impolite noises.

2010, IDIOT! I just had a DAVID GURGLE moment.

Sunday, February 13, 2011


RELIEF!!!!! BOX OFFICE UP 32%!!!!!!!!!! (Relieving overemphasis added)

Sorry, maybe from last week, but even David "NON" Germain had to admit (in the ninth graf, natch) that B. O. was DOWN 27 PERCENT FROM LAST YEAR. We can't expect this to continue forever; the summer's crowded with TENTPOLES. But no excuses over KING JIM and the WEATHER can quite obscure this notion that maybe disgust toward the movee excretion biz has finally assumed enough traction that even the hard-core true believers don't find its bowel movements an effective emetic anymore, and that many of their numbers are abandoning the medium permanently. We will not go again into the why -- we've done that altogether too much -- but given how the movee biz' collapse parallels the video game biz' -- both appeal to excessively fickle and mentally...challenged youth and emit the same kind of stench -- makes us think so many are so fed up with spoon-fed "entertainment" it cannot be undone. Movees encompass too many inconveniences to justify the time and trouble to see them, only to greet the fans with insults. This medium cannot hit the skids quickly enough, nor can it skid fast enough for us. We fear next year we will be forced to endure PAUL DRECK speaking again of RECORDS!!!!!!!!!! We hope not.

Friday, February 11, 2011


Hey Groupon! How much negative publicity for your NOW-PULLED AD did your big buy buy?

But there's one thing it can't take from the CEO: "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!!!!!!"


Finally, The Thug comes to his senses.

Now what?


P. S. Now would seem to include the military -- for a long, long time.

It would inform the world to know if this was a coup, as some have postulated. If it was not it was a de facto one.

P. P. S. How much money went with him?

P. P. P. S. Does Egypt try The Thug for crimes against the state or leave him to luxuriate in his alleged billions?


George H.W. Bush, Country’s Most Sporting President, is Going to the World Golf Hall of Fame

FORE!!!!!

And why not make it a twosome with Dan QUAIL, QUAYYL -- QUAYLE?

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