Posted 2:27 PM by Gene

As the clock winds down to the rapturous opening of THE CURE FOR CANCER (aka THE SUPER BOWL® FOR WOMEN) we must reflect on two recent articles. Stefan Kanfer wrote a book about Humphrey Bogart that one of TINA!!!!!'s boys reviewed, and from our experience with his Marx brothers bio it probably isn't good either, but both the writers make an inescapable point: Bogie starred in movies for adults. "[O]f the 20 biggest grossing films of all time—all of them made between Jurassic Park (1993) and Alice in Wonderland (2010)—'Not one of these features can be considered a purely ‘adult’ film'." Of course if we go back to 1975 it's even more damning. "Puerile" overestimates the IQ of the films -- and of their fans. That Bogie is alive when movees are dead says we need heroes -- and we won't get them from tentpoles.

Then there's this story on ratings creep. We wouldn't pay it mind because anything on JACK'S ALPHABET BOTULISM BROTH will be disengaged and self-serving. But guessing how to solve an insoluble problem Timothy Noah backhandedly endorses a government-run ratings board -- and goes on to say this:

A likelier ultimate solution...is that American society will become more depraved and fewer and fewer films will receive R ratings. According to Waguespack and Sorenson, the conservative lament that MPAA ratings have become more forgiving of sex and violence over time turns out to be true. They don't quantify it, but "MPAA ratings have become progressively more permissive." Eventually Americans may let their kids see everything, and the MPAA ratings board may go the way of the National Legion of Decency. That would create problems of its own that would cause me to fret about my grandchildren. But MPAA favoritism would become a thing of the past.

Thankfully by that rapidly approaching time the movees already would be.

Speaking of JACK, where's ANGELO'S BOYFRIEND?