Posted 8:28 PM by Gene

Wait a second! Aren't the Indulgences of The Lord God Steve supposed to be FAULTLESS? And shouldn't they FLOAT on water -- like the Lord God Himself?

Posted 8:26 PM by Gene

We had it in Bell, California, we have it in North Jersey -- why do so many pols regard the people as their personal piggy bank?

Posted 8:22 PM by Gene

When do we have the backlash to news hacks who must pay minutest attention to every last piece of manufactured Os-CAR® "news" as if our lives depended on it?

And would we have backlashes if these CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED MASTUHWUUUHHKKS were as good as the cri-TICS claim?

Posted 8:09 PM by Gene

Whoever ends up seeing the nation through to its next phase would do well to keep bread high on their list of priorities.

The speculators have!

Posted 3:07 PM by Gene

Obama Health-Care Reform Act Unconstitutional, U.S. Judge Says

STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE TWO!

Posted 11:16 AM by Gene

GASP! HENRY HONEST wants to improve his comments!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! (Henry Honest regulars will know who he is.)

Posted 11:12 AM by Gene

This story which centers around the bigot Ed Asner demonstrates why we should never take show-biz lying down. If its rulers can be politically intolerant, they can be intolerant in practically every other way. This is why the CEOs constantly feeding ad bucks to the biz sticks in our craw: they're nourishing a leviathan that regularly steps on a hapless public, and when it screams they conveniently turn their heads from the carnage.

We might add we could accuse the Hollywood right of melodrama but we have little doubt there is a genuine if unofficial blacklist in the business.

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

The bad news: GanNETt made a ZILLION BUCKS from TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!

The good news: Its revenues are still down and its stock is down today.

Posted 11:06 AM by Gene

Chris dispenses a zinger:

[O]ne of the cheering and reassuring things about dictatorship is the way that it consistently fails to understand this element of the equation. How gratifying it is that all such regimes go on making the same obvious mistakes. None of them ever seems to master a few simple survival techniques: Don't let the supreme leader's extended family go on shopping sprees; don't publicly spoil some firstborn as if the people can't wait for him, too, to be proclaimed from the balcony; don't display your personal photograph all over the landscape; don't claim more than, say, 75 percent of the vote in any "election" you put on. And don't try to shut down social media: It will instantly alert even the most somnolent citizen to the fact that you are losing, or have lost, your grip.

Posted 6:46 PM by Gene

We have fallen hopelessly in love with yet another jazz vocal group. This one, organized by that supreme eccentric Blossom Dearie in the early fifties, recorded two or possibly three albums before disbanding and reorganizing as the Swingle Singers. Les Blue Stars showed that French and jazz have surprisingly many things in common. I first heard of them through that superlative blogger "Buster" and a download of four songs, one of which was the immortal "Amour, Castagnettes et Tango." Love, castanets and tango! What could be a better title than that? (And far better than the American version -- "Hernando's Hideaway".) We were ready to dismiss them as a charming novelty group but through another blog downloaded one of their albums, an affair released in '57 stateside by Mercury. (Which album we have since bought -- see, musical "piracy" isn't always unprofitable.) "Small Talk" (no relation to another song from The Pajama Game) is a swingful first-rate jazz arrangement, but what really makes it tick are those French accents; the peculiar intonations give it a certain suavity that might be missing if the group were white-bread American.

And then there is "Please Be Kind". I have five other versions lurking in my digital music collection and they're all blah; Ol' Blue (in a session tape with Count Basie I downloaded from another source) almost audibly clicks his fingers, and when you sense that you know he really didn't care how he was singing it -- although you'd gather with Sammy Cahn having written the lyrics he might have been more thoughtful -- and only Ella Fitzgerald comes close to what's possible with this. What's possible with this is a poignancy approaching tragedy. In his book American Popular Song Alec Wilder wrote that most people can't discern the difference among arrangements. I can -- and there is a vast difference between Benny Goodman or Bob Crosby's Bobcats phoning it in and something that has made me cry all three or four times I've heard it. This is music in the Glenn Miller mode -- and while we're expected to razz this alleged Lawrence Welk he was one of the few jazzmen who understood the value of drama in his charts, and this is Miller in spades, modernized and improved, and the Stars sing it totally without guile, and that's why I cry.

There's a reason God made flies more common than butterflies, and there were radiant butterflies in the jazz years, and they all died off, yet their colors somehow live on, even as we must never stop fending off musical flies.

Posted 6:25 PM by Gene

I am going to try to get paid for my writing, and one way to do that is to write an essay on why I have largely stopped following sports, except for the headlines. I have a dozen reasons but most prominent these days is having to root against players. Back when one could hate an athlete just for some irrelevant personality quirk, like Ty Cobb and his impermeable grouchiness, or the team that refused to lose. ("Those damn Yankees! Why can't we beat them?") Today we're not talking personality quirks. The likes of ARF! ARF!, The Golfing Sex Machine, The Flasher and KING LEBRON are clearly such louts that their fans have to make extensive excuses for supporting them. And far more we avow root against them, which we further avow hinders their play; we saw that when ARF! lost his meal ticket to the Super Bowl; we've seen it with TGSM, who has not won a tournament since his vast sex life became public. It's not a question of that old "character" saw; it cuts to the very bone of sport; but for swift intervention this sort of angry disdain could have destroyed baseball after the Black Sox scandal. It did not happen after the Steroid Squad because SELIGISM has learned how to live without fans. While CEOs will make sure sports keep on chugging, NASCAR's problems -- not least among them drivers who don't seem to give much of a hoot about the simpletons paying for their expensive automobiles -- show that athletic prosperity may not be forever.

Posted 6:17 PM by Gene

Something can be said for lovable rogues. The rogue who runs the French oil firm Total is in bed with lots of crooks and (according to DVFORBESLISTBLOG) it doesn't bother him, and he says so. At least this is fervent honesty, and you can't get mad at a man so honest. Compare this to America's zillionaire CEOs who practice hiding under their desks every day while speaking from both sides of their mouths, blathering about CSR while being impeccably irresponsible -- I'll take the rogue any day.

Posted 1:15 PM by Gene

Just what Tunisia needs: a Sharia man.

Posted 1:13 PM by Gene

Just what the world needs: another mouth to feed.

Posted 1:36 PM by Gene

If Tunisia and Egypt could create chaos from nothing what does that say for the Arab world's social cohesion?

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

A weird juxtaposition on Yahoo!'s home page:

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

How apt that the company that thought it could get away with financing one of SUMNER's greatest triumphs is now being sued for not putting enough beef in its tacos. This may be just another lawsuit -- or it may be Corporate America doing business as usual. We wouldn't count on one of BIGMEDIA's biggest friends not engaging in the latter.

And of course SUMNER has it both ways as He's unleashed one of His "invaluable satirical critics" against His cowardly sponsor. I preferred the days when our corporate villains played it straight.

Posted 11:46 AM by Gene

Reading this we are a little more optimistic the boom-booms won't take over in Egypt -- although the thug may have sent his sons packing to London, so they're out...maybe -- but we wonder if for all the cries of freedom the Arab world will merely know military dictators for as far as the eye can see.

Posted 10:42 PM by Gene

The Secretary of EHDYUKAYSHUN admits the EVERY CHILD A DILBERT ACT has led to the "dumbing down" of ehd, meaning it's back to square one -- again.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

At least the home of the pharaohs is safe.

Posted 5:46 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Dear Dear design [sic]: If I had $50 million to burn I could build "a shoe store in less than 25 square meters" too.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

The U.S. State Department said that the situation was of "deep concern," adding that "reform is vital." Secretary of State Hillary Clinton appealed for the government to allow peaceful protests and for the people on the streets to "refrain from violence."

Still -- uh, disengaged.

We yet think the thug Hosni can ride this one out but it doesn't seem the sure thing it was a week ago. The big question now is -- who takes over after the man who rid Iran of nukes?

We should remember too that many were killed and injured in the rebellions in Iran -- and the regime lived.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

NBC's Engel: Private jets leave Cairo airport [MESS front page video link]

The kleptocrats have voted.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

President Mubarak asked government to resign and says will ask for a new government on Saturday.

TRANSLATION: NOT MY FAULT!

P. S. at 5:38 p. m. Or to put it another way, this is the owner firing the coach.

Posted 11:16 AM by Gene

Speaking of the ASSPress (and NewsMAX!!!!!):

Rush Limbaugh's mock imitation of the Chinese language has stirred a backlash among Asian-American lawmakers at the state and federal level.

California state Sen. Leland Yee, a Democrat from San Francisco, is leading a fight in demanding an apology from Limbaugh.

In recent days, the state lawmaker has rallied civil rights groups in a boycott of companies such asa [sic] Pro Flowers [sic], Sleep Train, and Domino's Pizza that advertise on Limbaugh's talk show.

During a Jan. 19 program, Limbaugh said there was no translation of President Hu Jintao's speech during a visit to the White House. He launched into a 20-second imitation of the Chinese leader's dialect.

Shortly after condemning Limbaugh's remarks, Yee says he received racist death threats to his San Francisco and Sacramento offices.

1. When PILLHEAD speaks -- morons listen! 2. PILLHEAD has trouble enough with English, especially when He uses DEMOCRAT AS AN ADJECTIVE. 3. Is a boycott of ProFlowers and Sleep Train going to help?

P. S. at 5:41 p. m. Yes, yes, we know, liberals specialize in professional outrage, but if PILLHEAD hadn't decided to incite them -- or must we go through the mind-numbing debate of the last three weeks all over again?

Posted 11:10 AM by Gene

AP NEWSALERT!!!!!

WASHINGTON (AP) -- US: Egypt situation of 'deep concern,' urges government to reform and allow peaceful protests

Roger wilco!

Posted 10:27 AM by Gene

Well we know the protesters are young, and poor, and angry -- but aren't those the usual ingredients for radical too?

Posted 10:25 AM by Gene

Speaking of hard-hitting:

[T[here was speculation by MPTF activists that Carter, who in recent years has abandoned hard-hitting reporting about the movie industry in favor of softer interviews and gauzy retrospectives, had balked at taking on such a contentious issue.

Since WHEN?

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 10:23 AM by Gene

Middle East unrest spreads
WSJ's Jerry Seib reports the Middle East has fallen into a storm of violence, and the U.S. must delicately advise leaders and activists.

Boy I sure am glad I subscribe to The Wall Street Journals!

Posted 10:19 AM by Gene

Russia considers color-coded terror threat alerts

Hey Russians! Why are you doing what we just abandoned?

Posted 8:12 PM by Gene

We hate to harp on this, but if news hacks hadn't called them GENIUSES maybe the showoffishly iconoclastic scribblers at GRATE.COM wouldn't ask people like HEF and WOODSTER the PERV to "GO".

Posted 6:41 PM by Gene

Obama's expedient evasion is the opposite of presidential leadership. It maximizes short-term approval ratings while running long-term risks. A loss of investor confidence could trigger a chaotic flight from Treasury bonds and the dollar. One economist recently wrote in the Financial Times: "I hope it does not ultimately require a crisis to restore fiscal [responsibility] . . ., but I fear it will." That was Peter Orszag, Obama's first budget chief. Sobering.

Thankfully Benny and the Wall Street Casino will figure a way to save us. Pffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 6:33 PM by Gene

The former PEOPLE WARNER typist who descended into the basement of Kooky Uncle Joe's residence will see the light of day as His Omnipotence's spokespoop!

Carney will not hold the type of counselor role to the president that Gibbs has formed over years by serving as a top aide to Obama from the time the president was a state senator in Illinois and all through his run for the White House. But Carney will be given every access he needs to the president and other decision-makers within the White House so he is in position to speak with full authority, a White House official said.

Sure Mac, sure.

Since switching to the other side Carney has gained a reputation among Washington reporters, many of whom he’s known for years, for having a short fuse and being fiercely protective of his boss’ image.

Hey! He might still be fun!

Posted 6:17 PM by Gene

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:10 PM by Gene

The lunatical up of NETFLIX!!!!! and the lunatical down of AMAZON.COM!!!!! show incontrovertibly whoever or whatever's trading in stocks isn't doing so on fundamentals, it's doing it on fantasies.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

The fount of courage who rid Iran of nukes could be a figurehead if he acquires power -- that is, if he continues to show the same courage, which seems all to likely with a man who gained his fame as a League of Nations functionary.

And no one seems to know just who the Egyptian protesters are, except that they spend almost as much time Facebooking and Tweeting as we must; but we can guess, alas, who they could become -- if the template's anything like Iran's.

Posted 2:27 PM by Gene

Elsewhere in the adtalk world: it should not take an advanced degree in ADVERTISING to know that when you spend money on celebrity endorsements you may as well spend it on "Tiger Woods and Brett Favre."

Celebrity endorsements are the moral equivalent of "sponsoring" the Super Bowl.

Posted 2:11 PM by Gene

Here's the contest all those foot-propping cigar-smoking expense-account-wasting CEOS in the luxury boxes really enter:

Worst Super Bowl Ad Ever? You Decide

Meantime a Denny's executive notices something:

The Super Bowl is a big splash and a way of getting noticed, but we've really found that our guests want consistent appreciation over time.

TRANSLATION: The Super Bowl has NOTHING to do with CUSTOMERS, except of BIGMEDIA and AD AGENCIES.

Posted 2:00 PM by Gene

[T]he Kochs are becoming targets for the left in the same way the billionaire financier George Soros, a founding Democracy Alliance donor, has long been vilified by conservatives.

1. Choose your poison. 2. THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED!!!!!

Posted 1:53 PM by Gene

Speaking of press releases:

Sean Connery immortalized with Estonian bust

This one has a certain ring to it.

Posted 1:39 PM by Gene

The NEW! IMPROVED!! DVFORBESLISTBLOG!!! runs a press release copied from a press release about a "survey" conducted by an advertising arm of CONCAST NETWORK ENTERTAINMENT tying into a cross-promotion for a popular stupid social game that made women think MICKEY D'S SERVES HEALTHY FOOD!

BONO! Sell it NOW! TURN OUT THE LIGHTS NEEDS YOU!

Why does a press release become legit when a "reporter" rewrites it?

Posted 7:21 PM by Gene

What's the difference between the SOTU and Davos, aside from the scenery? None: a bunch of people who lucked out in life get to cheer bromides.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

"I'D RATHER BE RIGHT!!!!!"

That's the title of a 1937 Rodgers-and-Hart musical starring George M. Cohan as FDR. (Cohan hated FDR, and staged some insubordination toward the authors -- which helped the box office.) It's also BIGMEDIA's motto, as one can too plainly see in these two exasperating stories. "I'd rather be right" means not producing for a general audience because I'D RATHER BE RIGHT!!!!! It means being an effete snob for a cause. It means doing something that gives your ENEMIES heartburn and puts a halo over your head. HARVEY WHINER wanted His hero-future king to utter 500 F-words in an egregious scene rather than edit His film for an wider crowd and now this idiot wants to do that? Of course SUMNER would rather make a scene than make profits, especially if it helps Him live to be 300; He was as surely responsible for this maddening publicity stunt as the one at the Super Bowl. "I'D RATHER BE RIGHT!!!!!" is a big reason our culture stinks. Or to put it another way our media masters' hatred for us is incandescent with their self-esteem, and we should return the favor clicking some of their switches OFF.

And there is ample evidence SCREAMING AT YOUR AUDIENCE may NOT help with the ratings, or the box office.

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

Bernanke gets 66% approval from investors in poll

Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!

Investors don't have the same positive regard for the Federal Reserve's actions, particularly the decision in November to inject $600 billion of stimulus into the financial system. A plurality of respondents, 35%, say that policy, know as quantitative easing, hasn't had any significant effect on the economy; another 33% say the asset purchases risk a rise in inflation to dangerous levels. Just 27% say the plan to buy Treasuries is working as intended to help reduce unemployment and boost growth.

Knock it off, "investors" -- it's OUR MONEY!

Posted 2:24 PM by Gene

BULLETIN Fed leaves target rate unchanged, says economy's progress is "disappointingly slow"

DOW 1 BILLIONTRILLIONZILLION...never mind.

Posted 1:28 PM by Gene

GOP to look at federal gun laws

...and turn the other way?

Posted 1:16 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: So long as terrorism doesn't strike at the ruling clique Russia doesn't have to do anything about it. (See also here.)

Posted 1:14 PM by Gene

We would not bet against this latest Wall Street Casino fad; on the other hand we would not bet against this new love of fads doing to the Casino what that other love of fads did over a decade ago.

Posted 1:12 PM by Gene

Oscar Nominations 2011: Why Does Hollywood Hate Hollywood?

It's only doing what most of the rest of us already do.

Posted 12:10 PM by Gene

Gee, THANKS, FREE-EN-TER-PRISE SYS-TEM, for turning classical-music radio into a ward of the state!

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 11:55 AM by Gene

In the next ten minutes, if He hasn't done so already, PILLHEAD will bloviate, "THE ECONOMIC MELTDOWN WAS THE POOR PEOPLE'S FAULT!!!!!" We have reason to think that just because Democrats say otherwise doesn't mean they're not right.

Posted 11:45 AM by Gene

SLIME gets hot and bothered because CONCAST has installed a new vulgarian at its new network, but the vulgarity doesn't sound that new:

Greenblatt has greenlighted a romantic comedy, "I Hate That I Love You," about two lesbians who are introduced by a straight couple, fall in love and immediately get pregnant.

Within a year, we predict, DA POST!!!!! will run stories about the CONCAST NETWORK execs who can't stand their Philly superiors, and vice versa. Look, gouging the turnips was never that easy.

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

The Daily Kaplan mourns the former -- butler of Meet the Press, and while he no doubt did a very fine job for the already pampered guests we wonder if there aren't people out there who deserved a DaKa obit who might not have inspired a slight bit of annoyance, which wasn't the butler's fault.

Elsewhere we mourn Milton Levine, inventor of the Ant Farm, who imprisoned untold millions of ants in see-through plastic cases so the kids could make google-eyes at them, but no one ever complained -- this was before PETA -- and he was called "Uncle" too.

(First link via the usual Romy)

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

10:15a BREAKING
Deficit to hit nearly $1.5 trillion in 2011: CBO

10:19a BREAKING
Dow industrials top 12,000 first time since 2008

ALFRED E. NEUMAN RULES AMERICA!

Posted 7:37 PM by Gene

SLICK talks so much ROGER "SHUT UP!" AILES wouldn't have Him on His network?

That's TALKING!

Posted 7:35 PM by Gene

Hey BONO! Now that you've ruined YOUR WEB SITE why don't you sell your stake so you can raise more money for SPIDERMAN: TURN OUT THE LIGHTS?

Posted 7:00 PM by Gene

"The Center for Voting and Democracy, a nonprofit group chaired by John Anderson and based in Takoma Park, Md., has come up with an ingenious gimmick to promote its campaign against winner-take-all elections" that TIMMY parrots into "GRAWK! The Oscar nomination process encourages much more diversity than those for the Tonys, the Grammys, or the Emmys! GRAWWWWK!! Weehoo!!"

By our best calculations NINE of the TEN Os-CARRRRRRRRRRR®!!!!! nomineees are AHTHOUSE pictures -- and given its CRI-TI-CAL ACCLAIM the TENTH is an HONORARY one.

P. S. John Anderson? Isn't he the guy GRATE.com would have been foolish enough to endorse had it been foolish enough to exist at the time?

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

SEC Gives Shareholders Vote on Pay for Companies’ Top Executives

All together now! KUDLOWS! PILLHEADS! CONSERVATIVES OF EVERY STRIPE! One, two, three:

COMMIES!!!!!

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Another gigantic HVAC system in Dallas!



The world's biggest fly screen!



Located in Herington, Kansas the new office for Hodgdon Powder Company utilizes a Quonset hut system of construction....

Only most quonset huts don't cost that much!

P. S. at 6:52 p. m. OoooooOOOOOPS! Don't believe we should have said that:

Hodgdon -- The Gun Powder People [G000,000,000GLE link; loaded emphasis added]

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

And we doubt His Omnipotence's cuts will come to anything as they amount to a haircut on a bald man.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

We doubt the Egyptian rioting will come to anything. Egypt is not Tunisia and it is billions in wasted U. S. aid. In the unlikely event the thug Mubaraks flee the country (as the damfool HENRY HONEST BRIGADE was ABSOLUTELY SURE they did), that could lead to an ISLAMIC REPUBLIC. And whether we like it or not ISLAMIC REPUBLICS seem to have NO existential crises, though their existence is empty in a different way.

The United States, a close ally of Egypt and major aid donor, called for restraint from all sides to avoid violence.

"Our assessment is that the Egyptian government is stable and is looking for ways to respond to the legitimate needs and interests of the Egyptian people," U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told reporters in Washington.

Either HILLARY!'s winging it or she's being typically clueless, and we can't tell the difference.

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

How bone-wearying to forever hear our age is "important". These sudden whines that the SOTU is a PITA (pardon my acronym) merely say hacks always juice up this puppet show and now they've been caught with their hands in the puppets. And of course it MUST come the same day as the Os-CARRRRRRRRRRRR®! nominations, a self-important act pimping self-important films for self-important awards. That an animated cartoon's been nominated for BEST PIC-TYURE says how trivial the gag is. And that monument to the ages the SUPER BOWL!!!!! is less than two weeks away. And to top it off we get this piece yelling practically all the "coverage" of the Tucson catastrophe wasn't news. This is like complaining that Coke has high-fructose corn syrup. What can one expect when the news biz' m. o. is SCRIBBLE -- and MORE SCRIBBLE?

Our alleged civilization faces an existential crisis -- and we know this because the principal mental state of our time is ennui. When "important" things happen they tend to be largely photogenic or anti-climax. Even Communism's downfall two decades back seems a historical pittance as it merely led the oppressed nations into a clique that justifies itself by spending and spending. If life is consumerism what is its purpose?

Posted 3:16 PM by Gene

Here's one for the KUDLOVIANS: Last month Michigan's unemployment rate fell by 2.8 PERCENTAGE POINTS!!!!!!!!!!

[T]he December decline “primarily reflected a reduction in the number of unemployed individuals seeking jobs.”

Oh.

DOW EIGHT HUNDRED GIGAHYPERMEGASUPERZILLION!!!!!

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 2:20 PM by Gene

The U.N. chief says a U.N. appointed expert on Palestinian rights made preposterous remarks when he alleged an apparent cover-up by U.S. authorities involving the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

How preposterous can they be when the human-rights fightin' members of the "Human Rights" Council insist they're true? -- like Cuba...or LIBYA?

The only solution to the League is to relocate its HQ to Nouakchott.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

EDDIE!!!!! gets his dream job!

Maybe HE can replace Keith O -- as a kinder, nicer Keith O!

He'll be GREAT for comedy!

Posted 9:04 PM by Gene

The GOP would like to defund the unspeakable League of Nations "Human Rights" Council -- but there's a catch:

[D]efunding the UNHRC would be mainly a symbolic act, since the U.S. allocates money to the entire UN, not specific parts of it. Because of that, we could withhold a budgetary amount that’s equal to the cost of the UNHRC, but it appears that there’s no way of knowing whether the money will be spent on the council or not.

Sounds like TV ADVERTISING, n'est-ce pas?

Posted 8:49 PM by Gene

Okay GARF, TV as we know it will be around in a thousand years. Just one problem: with the numbers you and your fellow hacks wave like American flags the audience may not be.

Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Will Uncle Ben's Trickle Down finally work?

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

Back in '58 (we think) ED MURROW I nearly ran for a Senate seat in New York (guess which party) but thought better of it. Keith, of course, may have no compunctions, but we'd recommend against it for one reason: it will lower his income.

We wouldn't be surprised though if this is another PILLHEAD mind game. We wouldn't do that, PILL. You helped get "HUSSEIN!!!!!!!!!" in the White House.

Posted 12:01 PM by Gene

We are truly sorry Jack LaLanne didn't make it to 100, but it wasn't for lack of trying, and his long life demonstrated most people don't try hard enough.

Posted 11:53 AM by Gene

We have A DOUBLE MASSACRE RALLY TODAY!!!!!

Posted 8:36 PM by Gene

The fact these NFL players are screeching about some quarterback's injury says too many people screech, and it's not just politicians and cable pundits.

And then we wonder why some players are almost total CRIPPLES at middle-age.

It's football, NOT rocket science! Oh, I forgot. It IS.

Posted 8:15 PM by Gene

OoooooOOOOOOooooooh, TONY of the NINE FINGERS is getting into bed with con-SER-va-tive Congresspoops, and....

At best, Scalia's appearance can be viewed as a pep talk. At worst, it smacks of a political alliance.

TRANSLATION: How many such stories read, if it were OUR SIDE....Nine Fingers confirmation hearings are blisteringly dishonest because the candidates dance around their politics for no good reason. The public is wise: There is no separating justice from politics, and the more forthright the NINE FINGERS are about their PREJUDICES the better.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

His Omnipotence bows again!

No wonder he hates foreign policy.

(Via -- oh well -- CommentaryMagazine.com)

Posted 2:36 PM by Gene

With its inventor no longer at the levers of power, RENDELLISM is dying. We've mentioned before how such hacks thought...GAMING was a means of limitless wealth; but with every last hack thinking that the time would come when hardly anybody's making money on it. We should not...bet the...GAMING biz is down for the count but we do note Atlantic City is convincing itself it can be reborn 35 years after it was supposedly reborn. No, when even the house can't win the time has come for our ruling superiors to give up on...GAMING as a cash cow.

Posted 1:56 PM by Gene

Can someone tell us why we're supposed to pay any attention to what GEN. LEAK TWOFACE says?

This is like Henry the K popping up everywhere: his sexy rep has far outlasted his limited usefulness -- or his sexiness.

The Oval may be the most CW news Web site there is -- and how apt it's run by the rag that employs THE GANG OF 27.

Posted 7:04 PM by Gene

I have a perfect motto for Corporate America:

BUSINESS IS WAR -- AND THE CUSTOMER IS THE ENEMY.

All the buzzwords in Ad Age reinforce it.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

Intel has just introduced a whole wave of chips with integrated GPUs, so count on Barron'S to sell nVidia. (Or Nividia, as it puts it -- although to be sure even we don't know how it's spelled or capitalized anymore.) Most people will NOT supercharge their graphics, and for what most people do with their computers they wouldn't know the difference; we read someplace it's hard to tell it above 60 fps. Besides, aren't the masses going to IPADS!!!!!? Regardless, we spend too much on computers as is. I should not be surprised if this is another brilliant prediction!

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



A building breaks out in square zits!

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

MENSA MAN! and THE ORIGINAL TV NEWSER! say the CONCASTERS kicked the truth-telling KEITH O out because he was ON OUR SIDE!!!!! It would have "looked bad" either way, and as befits a paper that can't go behind A WALL soon enough it's looking for excuses -- though it does look bad as a hyperventilating clown like THE REV. DR. BECK still has HIS job. As we said last night, the bloviator will be back, and sooner than we may wish.

And BRIAN ROBBER will throw His weight around regardless of who TELLS THE TRUTH on the MESS.

(Via TheCuteLittlePinkPaper.com)

Posted 10:35 PM by Gene

Methinks the CONCASTERS told Very Little Jeffy's job creators they didn't want all that screaming.

We have not heard the last of this loudmouth bellowing.

P. S. Regardless of their denials.

P. P. S. Kositis sufferers aside, that would seem to put some of the onus on THEM TOO.

Posted 8:26 PM by Gene

"Keep your head up, where it needs to be. Keep looking forward because that's where you're going."

We can never hope to improve on such a simple but profound statement, except through our prayers.

Posted 3:20 PM by Gene

KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!

GEN. BEWKES is marching for Georgia. Or Moscow. Or maybe He's part of the death march of Bataan. But He IS MARCHING ON. Though His army be plagued with defectors -- AOL, PEOPLE WARNER CABLE, unprofitable magazines -- He and the stragglers left of it, braving the elements in nothing but their expensive Italian suits, treading on weary feet cushioned only by Guccis, with no solace but the rallying cry of billions and zillions, headed toward the day when they can scalp every last customer of every last dime for the BRILLIANT AMAZING programming and movies His corps distributes to sullen peons at rest stops. The world NEEDS GEN. BEWKES' army; it needs these solemn warriors, fighting on for the name of the higher calling of CRITICAL ACCLAIM, ready to BOMB their way if necessary to TOTAL VICTORY until no one is left but these forces of right, surrounded by the burnt hulks of enemy companies and the dead bodies of MILLIONS OF CUSTOMERS -- but at last...TRIUMPHANT!



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to LT. COL. BRADY and CPL. RABIL!

Posted 2:22 PM by Gene

The hack Dana Milbank's addicted to SARAH!!!!!!!!!!

We wonder if this addiction of so many hacks may have led to the borderline psychosis known as Kositis.

Posted 2:18 PM by Gene

A juxtaposition from ASSPress:

● Nevada jobless rate hits new high in December
● Obama seeks to highlight nation's econ potential

Posted 11:15 AM by Gene

Speaking of laughs, it is refreshing to know that although the pros have the plum gigs locked up amateurs still apply for the comedy club known as a presidential campaign.

Posted 10:29 AM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Fortunately it doesn't rain much in Australia. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

Posted 10:23 AM by Gene

The MO of modern internationalism is to let things slide and hope for the best. Hence the indifference to East African piracy. South Korea's bold rescue says it's time for the world to wake up.

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

ONN's bigger problem may be that cable networks — earnest as they can be when grave news breaks — already use the rhythms and devices of comedy.

TRANSLATION: Cable news is comedy.

Shouldn'ta said that Jamie -- JAMES. Where's your SYNERGY?

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

We wonder when liberals and news hacks start making fun of Republicans for being budget-obsessed, but the fact this piece ends thus:

[C]onservative House newcomer Mick Mulvaney from South Carolina was nonplussed. “Anybody who is up to speed on budget issues should be scared to death by what’s happening with the debt and the deficit in this country," he said. "If you’re not losing sleep over it, then you’re simply not paying attention.”

...instead of with patented SUPERADAM!!!!! SNARK!!!!! indicates at least a slight advance.

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

Speaking of TWXSTERS, PEOPLE WARNER MAGAZINES has TEN EXECUTIVE VICE-PRESIDENTS!

Who do what?

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

The TWXSTERS devise an excuse:

Gosnell's techniques — using untrained staff, operating the business day and night, not maintaining equipment and not keep up with modern medical techniques (using Demerol is frowned upon these days) — are typical of those in any business trying to cut corners to keep costs low. It's likely that he was the cheapest abortion provider around in a community that's not accustomed to the highest health-care standards anyway.

We'd guess a great many abortions, sad to say, happen in "cheap" neighborhoods.

While this does not quite approach the exalted standard of GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE!!!!!, it's in that cheap neighborhood.

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

Speaking of gas, someone blogs in FORBESLISTBLOG what Bill Daley should do as His Omnipotence's CEO. It's so vague Very Littler Jeffy could have had it ghosted. We do not like wasting our time with the Web's chimeras.

George Bradt is managing director of PrimeGenesis, a consultancy focused on transition acceleration and executive onboarding. He is the author of The New Leader's 100-Day Action Plan(Wiley, 2009). [sic]

Yep, George is looking for work.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Hey Very Littler Jeffy! If you can do for America what you did for GE BANCORP's stock price....

Okay Littler, we need more jobs, and more manufacturing jobs. How can we get them? By setting up CEO conferences that expel vast quantities of gas?

Remember when someone likened Congress to high school? This is a student council!

Posted 9:28 PM by Gene

KAN-PAI!!!!!

America's CEOs were so busy stampeding over one another to greet China's God Coca-Cola's boss kneeled before Him and uttered a prayer in the wrong language.

Chinese, Japanese, it's all one to us -- we're their inferiors.

While China and Japan have close economic ties, the two countries fought a war from 1937-45 which saw large portions of China occupied and millions killed.



"I'd like to teach the world to sing...."

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Chinese President Hu Jintao, shown here with his adviser and confidante Dr. Henry A. Kissinger....

We would NOT be surprised.



Hey Hank? Is somebody looking for a co-producer?

This is a definition of he may be an SOB but when he gets me entrée into the White House and China he's MY SOB.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

MB2 is one of the LAST people who should write about HUBRIS.

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

We'd not heard of F5 Networks until yesterday, but given it's in CLOUD COMPUTING (roll the eyes), and given the shellacking it's taking today, we wonder how much of our current KUDLOVIAN PROSPERITY, like the prosperity of certain Web sites, floats on a blast of hot air.

Especially after such a TINY miss!

CNBC announced that CEO McAdam will be interviewed today which generally results in a pop in the price of the stock of a company during and, often, after the interview. This seems to be especially true after a beating by the Street.

1. CNBC is FULL OF IT. 2. No interview yet, apparently.

Posted 11:22 AM by Gene

HENRY HONEST!!!!! has raised a big stink over HOWIE HAIRSHIRT's salary, and TINA!!!!! insists he isn't making $600,000 a year. Problem is, we believe it. If anything, we believe it could be low. We believe it because TINA!!!!! and HUFF 'n' PUFF are making the same mistake as other BIGMEDIA: They think by paying huge and unjustified salaries to name-brand talent they "build" their "BRANDS". To the public the brand names are more like Brand X. And HOWIE was a figure of the most malicious fun long before he left The Daily Kaplan. We can't vouch for the other names but plainly any BLOG that can relocate to a hot, sexy building named for a toy company (!) in a hot, sexy Manhattan neighborhood has VC money to spend. Once more we learn few things are more opaque than brand-name Web sites' finances. This gravy train can't choo-choo forever.

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

Are There No Left-Wing Blogs on the Internet?

Whoops! Got my links screwed up.

Posted 9:19 AM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tives are now safely back to being con-SER-va-tives, as witness this quote from one of EM's gang from AL GREENSPAN'S MENTOR:

" [SIC] In a much quoted passage in his inaugural address, President Kennedy said, "Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country." Neither half of the statement expresses a relation between the citizen and his government that is worthy of the ideals of free men in a free society. The paternalistic "what your country can do for you" implies that government is the patron, the citizen the ward, a view that is at odds with the free man's belief in his own responsibility for his own destiny. The organismic, "what you can do for your 'country" implies the government is the master or the deity, the citizen, the servant or the votary.

TRANSLATION: Ask not what your country can do for you -- unless you're a CEO.

P. S.

Bernanke is following a monetarist depression-prevention model laid out by Nobel laureate and libertarian patron saint Milton Friedman. The Fed chairman has invoked the late economist in support of lowering interest rates to zero and bailing out banks. Trillions of dollars have been staked on the insights of “monetarism,” the economic theory of central banking and inflation-management associated with Friedman and Anna Schwartz. Though Schwartz now distances herself from Bernanke, opposing his reappointment on the grounds that he’s gone too far, the irony remains that a series of Fed policies many libertarians find repugnant are being championed by a man claiming to take his chief inspiration from the most influential libertarian economist of the 20th century.

Seeing how this is REASON!!!!!.com -- NUF SAID.

P. S. at 10:20 a. m.

Do yourself a favor today and set aside a few minutes to read one of the most beautifully crafted speeches in American history.

Obviously not every conservative is an uncritical fan of Uncle Milty.

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

Finally, hope for bipartisanship: Neither Democrats nor Republicans can stand the Chinese.

Posted 8:55 AM by Gene

GOP pundits to Palin: If you're running for president, be more presidential

That's like asking a snake to hiss less.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

The SIX-SIGMA gang paid $200,000 for a TV executive's private bathroom!

How much else goes under Very Littler Jeffy's radar in Imagineering Goodthingsdom?

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

And the TV audience -- TV writers and SUMNERS notwithstanding -- will not watch reheated beauty pageants, or most anything else they think it would, and thus may be smarter than most would think. Given what we're told here it took to get ESPNCORP Network to air this one -- no royalties, a slot in the Saturday dead zone, where it once aired in Septembers -- and given it was down a third from its last time on a network, this pancake is still a pancake. "[N]umbers for just about everything but football have fallen since then, so the decline is no surprise." So why do TV writers always act as though the ratings for everything are going up?

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: SUMNER issued an order to THE ORIGINAL TV NEWSER!!!!! to plug this show.

If He didn't it shows for all time JACK'S SECRET-RECIPE BOTULISM BROTH is useless.



We'll assume Original was glad to do a favor for SUM, therefore A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO ORIGINAL!!!!!

(Via Media Bistro via THR.com. I guess lots of people know a good plug when they see one!)

Posted 7:34 PM by Gene

When do con-SER-va-tives start saying those who think "Football is brain damage" are JJJJJJEAN KERRRRRRIAN WUSSIES who'd crumple to the ground if a feather hit them?

PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD!!!!!

Oh wait, maybe He wouldn't defend it. GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Posted 7:18 PM by Gene

We will not quote Churchill's near-cliché on beginnings and ends, but the Republic will only ascertain the GOP's ultimate success by whether it inspires a replacement that can work, not mere defenestration.

Posted 7:13 PM by Gene

It should be interesting to know how many of the SARAH-PULLED-THE-TRIGGER!!!!! crowd have avoided this hideous story. We would like to think it could set back the PRO-CHOICE!!!!! movement permanently. When pro-lifers speak of abortion as murder, it will not be so much a mere rhetorical flourish anymore.

Posted 3:40 PM by Gene

Seeking to build ties with an economic rival, the White House said Wednesday that China would purchase $45 billion in U.S. exports, including a highly sought-after $19 billion deal for 200 Boeing airplanes.

Who wants to bet this isn't some sort of backdoor subsidy to help the Chinese create their own commercial aircraft business?

P. S. at 7:25 p. m.

The orders were already in the Boeing commercial backlog....

The Chinese were going to buy them anyway! This is paperwork on the way to a new competitor in aircraft!

P. P. S. August 31, 2009:

Stan Sorscher, who spent 20 years at Boeing before taking a post at the Society of Professional Engineers in Aerospace (SPEEA) in 2000, told me that engineers he spoke with believe that McNerney is hooked on the idea of shifting more of Boeing's aircraft development to China.

Sorscher told me that McNerney recently hosted a meeting with a group of engineers to discuss how Boeing should build its next aircraft. The conclusion of the meeting was that McNerney is comfortable with the way the 787 was developed but thinks it could use a bit of tweaking -- and he'd like to shift more of the design and manufacturing of future Boeing aircraft to China.

This would leave Boeing as a systems integrator which outsources product development to China and other countries.

TRANSLATION: BOEING IS AN INTERNATIONAL COMPANY.

Posted 2:53 PM by Gene

I am willing to correct myself on SARAH!!!!!. Apparently she did write her latest book by herself, so it was unfair at least to say "she didn't know what a word was." Our perception was colored by the regiments of ghostwriters who've trooped across DC, writing memoirs never to be read again. The problem, then, lies with her demeanor. Imagine SARAH!!!!! as warm-hearted and fuzzy as, say...Barbara Bush. Imagine a lovable female conservative. SARAH!!!!!'s problem is The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther BECK!!!!!'s, defined by the solid conservative Charles Murray:

Beck is spectacularly right (translation: I agree with him) on about 95 percent of the substantive issues he talks about. He is a full-throated libertarian in a world of wishy-washy Republicans. The man is a gifted communicator....

But Beck uses tactics that include tiny snippets of film as proof of a person’s worldview, guilt by association, insinuation, and occasionally outright goofs like the fake quote. To put it another way, I as a viewer have no way to judge whether Beck is right. I have to trust that the snippets are not taken out of context, that the dubious association between A and B actually has evidence to support it, and that his numbers are accurate. It is impossible to have that trust.

In short, because SARAH'S character is so outlandish, and so much of what she does seems designed solely to attract attention (like PILLHEAD), one can't believe her. If I took the time I might find things to admire. But face it, she was introduced to us as a gimmick, and her airhead persona was confirmed by the manic antics of her family.

Yes, the recent criticism was a blatant dishonest partisan gag. Had SARAH!!!! not put publicity and her personality first, had she not acted like the kind of cartoon star too prevalent among our superiors, she could have spared us considerable agony. SARAH!!!!!'s problem was foreseen by THE MASTER: "Sir, a woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all." He may be SEXIST!!!!! but with SARAH!!!!! he may also be right.

Posted 2:10 PM by Gene

"These ceremonies have taken over our social life. Almost every week we get into our formal gear, push through a gauntlet of paparazzi to get to some ballroom, give ourselves awards for everything from movies to lifetime achievements, and then applaud ourselves."

That's what friends are for!

Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

See, if Your name's Lloyd Blankfein You think yourself the supersmartest most omnipotentest person who ever roamed sixty universes, but judging how He screwed up the Facebook business and now with this UNEXPECTED loss perhaps this God should pray for the first time in His life.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

Well, there was surveillance video as we should have expected, and The Daily Kaplan gives the FBI a frown for not releasing it. If we had any say we'd keep it in the courtroom, but some First Amendment defender will no doubt leak it, and news hacks everywhere will be happy making their turnips miserable again.

P. S. at 3:40 p. m. Nor should the Feds release it. In the public eye it can only become a glorified snuff video, as with the death of the sadly forgotten Iranian heroine Neda.

Posted 7:01 PM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tives will say Sen. Morals and Sen. Conrad can read maps. I say, they're retiring now in part because they may have served at least twelve years too many, like most in the august Senile chamber.

Posted 6:32 PM by Gene

Yep, I think that money the Postal Service POURED over Lance Armstrong was wasted.

Posted 6:06 PM by Gene

Speaking of millionaires, Gov. Christie succeeded in protecting them from the unspeakable horror of a tax increase last year. But his "sharing the sacrifice" budget slashed aid for cities including Camden, forcing it to cut services. Hence, several hundred layoffs are to take effect Tuesday.

1. A news hack throwing a tantrum. 2. The expression of a con-SER-va-tive dream.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

And here's just ONE example of BRUTAL HONESTY!!!!!

And ANOTHER!

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

In US-China talks, who has the upper hand?

GUESS who!

As economies in the U.S. and Europe continue to reel, a fast-growing China is on the offensive. But the fallout is the slow-drip loss of what little political support the Chinese government has left in Washington. "They are losing friends," says former U.S. Trade Ambassador Susan Schwab.

You mean even their whores in the Beltway have turned against them?

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 4:44 PM by Gene

TNR needn't remind us The Lord Goddess Oprah and LARRY KING!!!!! are AWFUL interviewers, but our one hope is now they are leaving the scene, and there's reason to suspect their successors will have smaller audiences.

Posted 4:35 PM by Gene

DAY SIX of the MASSACRE RALLY!

Posted 4:34 PM by Gene

Hmmm...has the president learned Slick's lesson? Hmmm?

Posted 4:30 PM by Gene

Super Bowl Ad Creep Gave Viewers Nearly 48 Minutes of Commercials Last Year

1. Another reason for CEOs to say, "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!" 2. Another reason for the GANNETTOIDS to plug their SUPER BOWL AD METER!

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Speaking of going from the top:

Comcast Said to Get U.S. FCC Approval to Purchase NBC Universal

Posted 2:15 PM by Gene

If Jobs is looking to go out on a high note, this would be a pretty good time to do it.

TRANSLATION: Where can you go from the top?

And seeing he writes for Grate.com Farhad may not realize what he wrote.

Posted 1:57 PM by Gene

"ICE is not the police of the Internet."

Hey, there's an idea, Der Homeland -- an Internet Police Force!

Posted 12:58 PM by Gene

Baby Doc's comeback seems to have hit a speed bump.

Posted 11:07 AM by Gene

Quit your carping, America's Sister. That thing with legs gave your career in celebrity rags legs.

P. S. at 1:45 p. m.

"I should have been a party planner," the Just Go with It star says. "I'm a good mixologist in terms of personality types. I do a tree trimming party every year – 15 years I've been doing this. At my tree-trimming party we always do chili: turkey, regular beef, and vegetarian. Everybody is satisfied."

If America's Sister didn't exist PEOPLE WARNER would have to invent her.

Posted 11:05 AM by Gene

We need a book to learn many KOLLEDGE students don't learn anything -- and worse, that they aren't challenged to learn anything?

Students majoring in liberal arts fields see "significantly higher gains in critical thinking, complex reasoning, and writing skills over time than students in other fields of study." Students majoring in business, education, social work and communications showed the smallest gains. (The authors note that this could be more a reflection of more-demanding reading and writing assignments, on average, in the liberal arts courses than of the substance of the material.)

We might challenge that liberal-arts assertion but we can definitely see the other.

Posted 10:57 AM by Gene

One would like to think this venture-cap pyre of money marks a coming market top, but the dot-com boom demonstrated there's never enough money to burn.

Then again we thought Huff 'n' Puff was a joke. It may yet be depending on its financials.

(Via CuteLittlePinkPaper.com)

Posted 10:49 AM by Gene

Cheney says he is considering heart transplant

Hey "TRIGGER" KOS! Why don't you stage a nationwide protest to prevent this FORCE OF EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL from getting one? Or something.

Gotta fire up the soldiers in this newly civil world!

Posted 10:01 AM by Gene

We would not have done what this Danish cartoonist did -- for starters, it isn't right. But we do hope the creators of MS. TRAVERS'S FAVORITE SHOW eventually restate their hypocrisy by again letting others do what they don't have the minimal guts to do.

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

Yes, only in America could someone go so far on so little.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

Down two points today -- UP 105 TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

Two more historical old-wives' tales to toss into the fire:

1. Ordinary German citizens were not involved in the Holocaust.

2. Rigoberta Menchu was a hero.

(Caveat on the second: WIKILEAKS!!!!!)

Posted 4:20 PM by Gene

Don't tout too hard, Timmy: We could think of a few letters we could send to you, or to Kaplan Media Division -- or to KAPLAN, INC.

Posted 12:56 PM by Gene

Haiti advanced not one iota between 1986 and the earthquake, after which it took several decisive steps backwards, so no one should be surprised the thug Baby Doc is back.

Posted 11:18 AM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



House In Kodaira / Suppose Design Office

Suppose...a big wind comes up? Does the building sail away?

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

See, if you've got a GANG OF 27, this is PRECISELY what you should use it for: stupid celebrity puffing that sedates the masses. The GANNETTOIDS must abandon what little sense they have and officially make USAOKAY!!!!! AMERICA'S PR MACHINE, where it is now unofficial. Ditch ALL pretense of covering serious news and focus on things that'll make you the BIG PROFIT! and give US the big headache. Make it America's version of The Daily Mail, only far more strident. This is why news hacks get on our nerves: they're for what they say they're against.

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

No! NO!! GOD IS SICK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Notice how He timed the news for a day the markets weren't trading -- here? (It didn't work that well, God.)

We're not wishing ill for Him but given the way He runs His firm, using millions of slaves at FOXCONN, we are not THAT sympathetic either.

Posted 10:14 PM by Gene

Speaking a little more of spendthrifts, hundreds of CEOs and the entourages should completely clog the Beltway lining up to bow down to the Leader of the World!

And we DON'T mean OUR president!

Posted 9:51 PM by Gene

If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:

1. Your tax dollars at work -- making a TV show! Well maybe not SO many, since GM IS PROFITABLE!!!!!, but it's still irksome. The only difference between this and an infomercial is a plot line. Perhaps cable viewers are nearly as gullible as advertisers but we suspect even they might be put off by a glorified hour-long sales pitch. If this is how PEPE LE PEW BEWKES thinks he can help bolster TV he should go into radio.

2. The movee extruders already waste enough money on "marketing", so what's a few more bucks on unneeded trade print ads for potential Os-CAR® nominees? TRANSLATION: These are VANITY ads for spendthrift producers to stare at like their mirrors.

3. Speaking of spendthrifts, the people who burn OUR money on SLIME are having a big party for His new iPad-only production! But there's just one problem, as even a CRAINIAC must admit:

The question for The Daily is whether the content will be different and unique enough to warrant paying for -- and if enough people take the time to tell the difference. But because its content won't be indexed on the web and Google isn't -- yet -- indexing in-app content, it won't be easy to stumble upon content from The Daily.

Well He can always run promos on the Web site of that newspaper He destroyed. His acolytes can get free access in their limos.

Posted 7:52 PM by Gene

We can now say it: someone at DA POST is a genius!

Posted 7:43 PM by Gene

The Golden Globs organizers can't lose. No one outside the biz takes them seriously, so no one takes the payola story seriously, even if it's from a former Globs publicist; and what's good for show-biz is good for America, which is very good for the news biz, however bad the Golden Globs.

Posted 5:59 PM by Gene

Shucks! They could've been .500!

We're NOT mocking the Seahawks -- they did win a playoff game -- but given that we wonder whether the best playoff teams are the best teams.

Posted 4:10 PM by Gene

There are two hideous ways of looking at this. The first is since it comes from SARAH!!!!!'s camp this is a public expression of SARAH!!!!! feeling sorry for herself. The second is the KOSES who believed SHE PULLED THE TRIGGER would smugly argue TURNABOUT'S FAIR PLAY. Our only answer to both sides is that none of you screamers has BULLETPROOF SKIN.

Posted 4:05 PM by Gene

Speaking of:

Kraft Says It Faces `Irreparable Harm' If Starbucks Ends Distribution Deal

This is exasperating too. Kraft wastes far more money on junk television than it would lose. Perhaps the apt question is how much irreparable harm do Kraft's junk foods inflict on the public.

Posted 2:16 PM by Gene

No concern has opened its big fat trap for "family programming" more than Johnson and Johnson. It is therefore apt that it has run into deadly problems with its reputation. Twenty-eight years ago we grieved for the company over Tylenol, a calamity never its fault; its comeback was a shining example to America. MTV was a year old then, and J&J has since become one of its biggest sugar daddies, and it opens its yap for "family programming" so it can support MTV. Under the circumstances we do not feel sorry for the company, only for those of its employees who are blameless.

It must persuade millions of disappointed customers to once again pay a premium for products that may no longer seem to be of any higher quality than the less expensive store brand.

Given its profound QC woes we can suggest without fear of contradiction most of the premium goes to pay for MTVs -- and the public instinctively knows it, and won't be badgered into rooting for it.

Posted 2:11 PM by Gene

Do we take actions like this at face value or do we get angry because they're meaningless and a prelude to more screaming? Our mind says to be angry but our heart urges peace, even if this is but a symbol, and meaningless.

Posted 11:56 AM by Gene

The ED MURROW MEMORIAL ACT doesn't cover anybody?!?

Posted 8:59 PM by Gene

And KAPLAN, INC. had to remind me of JAKE with this spam, once more, in my mailbox.

P. S. The clown who inficts JAKE on us has put a .PDF FILE on His company's corporate Web site defending ITS NUMBER-ONE BUSINESS. When these folks can't demoralize us they can cheat us.





Oh -- LOVE that snazzy new logo, Donny! How much did that cost ST. WARREN?

And you're STILL KAPLAN, INC.!

P. S.



Not so smart, Donny -- Wickes Companies inspired THREE bankruptcies! (The trademark was used until recently for a UK home-improvement chain which was a former joint venture of Wickes.)

Posted 8:47 PM by Gene

Well so much for that hope with this dreadful story:

One of the Arizona shooting victims was arrested Saturday and then taken for a psychiatric evaluation after authorities said he took a picture of a tea party leader at televised [SIC] town hall meeting and yelled: "you're dead."

PAUL KRUGMAN SNAPPED THE PICTURE!!!!!

Can we pundits shut up now? NO.

Posted 6:12 PM by Gene

We intend this to be our last post on this upsetting, exasperating story for a while: We are surprised no one's noticed there has thus far been no video of the shooting spree. In this age of iPhones and security cameras you'd think someone would have switched on something. We are fortunate if no one did; we are fortunate there appear to have been no videos from Ft. Hood or VT either (we were about to mention a certain highly successful anchorpoop but will refrain). The obvious explanation is that people are busy escaping; but you'd think someone, realizing the mortal peril, might have turned on a camera if for no other reason than to provide evidence. With Cyclops rearing his one eye in so many places our luck can't hold out.

And to those who think electronic security can stop such slaughters all they'll do is record them.

We were about to say seeing the catastrophe might shut up the loudest mouths; likely they'd only get louder. Nothing can shut up a pundit who's always right.

P. S. Doubly fortunate: If there had been video the TV NEWS CRETINS would have run loops. IDIOTS!

Posted 2:38 PM by Gene

David von Drehle's memorable essay has many things worth responding too, and not wanting to relive last week's horror one more time we may add to them later. He says, for one thing, the audience for the cable screamers is small. True. But news hacks have provided them with megaphones. Take how practically every Web site must transcribe ED MURROW's courage -- His audience bolts from 1.5 million to the tens of millions exposed to the second-hand drivel spouting him. And he's a mere journa -- COMEDIAN. We hear that PILLHEAD has an audience of between 200 million and 80 billion. No one knows and no one has the curiosity to try to find out. That inflates His influence. "David Brock, confessed smear artist", is a master money-raiser. Kos is no mere blogger but a master organizer. Even His enemies call Roger Ailes a "genius". These blowhards have overcome their nominally small audiences or factions to become tyrants in no small part thanks to well-placed media friends. This does not exactly help the body politic.

Nor is PEOPLE WARNER blameless despite its "neutral, non-partisan" cable-news filler. Mouth of the South, after all, invented a show called CROSSFIRE. Though John McLaughlin may have invented screaming -- and I remember thinking how refreshing it once was, before I tired of professional wrestlers screaming -- CNN perfected it. FOX!!!!!!!!!!!News and the Mess owe their vastly disproportionate success to CNN.

But maybe this time something is different. We still cringe about how the fraud Dick Corliss blamed Columbine on GUNS!!!!!!!!!!. Today the TWXSTERS have decided not to blame what happened in Tucson on SARAH!!!!!!!!!!. This is an advance. But it comes too late; as THE MASTER said, "[W]hen a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully", and the TWXSTER newsrag's being hanged in the marketplace, its circulation over a million off its peak, its contents a shadow of the past. Why the TWXSTERS choose now to treat their readers as adults is beyond us. Perhaps the sight of the noose is concentrating it. We will take what little scraps of respect we can.

P. S. The TWXSTERS, two years ago, interviewing Dave Cullen, the author of Columbine:

A lot of myths sprang up immediately after Columbine. Why were we so quick to jump on pat narratives?

The problem with Columbine was we felt the need to explain it right away. It was so horrifying, and the public wanted to know why it happened. We in the media wanted to know why too, and we thought we had to answer them. What we should have said was, "We don't have any good information, and it would be irresponsible of us to say why." When you speculate in a case like this, it very quickly morphs into "fact." We started with the assumption that school shooters tend to be loners, outcasts and bullied. That turned out to be a myth: some are bullied, but not even 50%. The majority are not any of those things.

We have had lots of morphing this week -- and pretty good answers too.

P. S.

A drug connection just adds to the probability that this was nothing more or less than yet another senseless incidence of violence in a country with a long history of senseless violence.

We got your mea culpa -- JAKE!