Posted 6:39 PM by Gene

Here's a new one: A self-published writer is selling movie rights to a novel on eBay. It's a thriller called The Consultant and it's highly original. The author's "voice is unique and his style is easily distinguished," says the sales pitch. "Readers will be reminded of such bestselling books like [sic] The Firm, The Pelican Brief, Clear and Present Danger and such motion pictures as The Peacemaker, The Jackal, Spy Game, Mission: Impossible 2 and The Sum of All Frears [sic], as well as such TV hit shows like [sic] 24, The Agency and JAG." Why didn't he just copy it from somewhere? Or did he? Clearly the pitch isn't serious, for aside from its electric air of failure and its installment payment plan (!) it offers (rejection-letter?) quotes from various publishing idiots -- "'Very exciting and compelling. [His] thriller is certainly action-packed!' —G. K. Hendricks, Pocket Books" -- that tell me a) they waste too much time on genre junk, b) they spend too much time pacifying no-talents who write genre junk, c) if they said they liked the book, they're lying or they should resign, and d) this novel's really bad. That they even let such schlock clutter their desks does not reflect well on them.

For the record, it's number 158,022 on Amazon.com. BUY IT NOW!!!!!

P. S. to the author: I'd change that title. It sounds like something from a former McKinsey partner, or a food-service exec.