Posted 8:54 PM by Gene

Other nations have horse racing, Venezuela has pulling a bull by its tail.

No wonder they elected Hugo.

Posted 8:39 PM by Gene

“This is not just about you or Ford, it’s about the country” [Jonny Boy SIC]

So it's your patriotic duty to take this job at $56,164.38 a day.

1. I thought Democrats were opposed to greed! 2. You running for president, Dick?

Once full of it, ALWAYS full of it.

Posted 4:26 PM by Gene

Mark Steyn uses his old bean -- and then he LOSES it:

When I was on the Rush Limbaugh show a couple of months back....

No matter how brief the tenure, Mark has effectively made himself a subsidiary of PILLHEAD, meaning his every utterance is open to slander due to the mere fact he may now be painted the worst kind of KNEE-JERK CON-SER-VA-TIVE.

Some people should think of their reps before they pundit indiscriminately.

Posted 4:20 PM by Gene

We should not be surprised we've haven't heard much about the West Coast version of MACACA, because in a real sense, California is another continent, and Ah-NULT may be from another planet.

Posted 4:14 PM by Gene

A reason to think Ford will have another new CEO in a few years:

As Ford Motor Co.'s new chief executive, Alan Mulally is staring down a long road as he seeks to turn around the ailing auto giant. But two weeks into the job, he'll be able to bank the lion's share of the $20.5 million he will receive in the first year.

That amounts to $56,164.38 for each day of the year.

Posted 4:03 PM by Gene

And in other EU news -- from the land of SUPERCHICKEN:

The organisers of Madrid Fashion Week have announced that they are banning skinny women to develop a more healthy image for the event this month. If any very skinny models do turn up, they will be classed as unhealthy and in need of medical help....

Madrid city council, which sponsors the fashion week, has ordered that every model on show must have a body mass index (BMI) of at least 18. Models who are 5ft 9in (1.75m) tall must weigh a minimum of 8st 11oz (56 kg).

No doubt Spain's coward-in-chief was closely consulted.

Posted 4:01 PM by Gene

Iran's Nuke Talks With EU to Continue

Posted 3:50 PM by Gene

PINCH goes RAH-RAH!

Yet this period also produced something strikingly positive, in the eyes of many Muslims: they began to mobilize politically and socially. Across the country, grass-roots organizations expanded to educate Muslims on civil rights, register them to vote and lobby against new federal policies such as the Patriot Act.

We hope we're forgiven for thinking this is code for CAIR and SUPERHOOPER. We say it again: no one wants any innocent Muslim to be wronged. Nonetheless the Muslim community must do its part and stop using IFS, ANDS, and BUTS about terrorism and the coming of sharia-based government -- and the CAIR vocabulary is full of them.

That said, a more diverse America can't hurt. Wasn't that our point in the first place?

“They have to prove that they are living here as Muslim Americans rather than living as Pakistanis and Egyptians and other nationalities,” said Zahid H. Bukhari, the director of the American Muslim Studies Program at Georgetown University.

And what, pray tell, is wrong with that, PINCH?

Posted 3:38 PM by Gene

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OH down over 35 PERCENT from LAST YEAR -- and over 20 PERCENT FROM TWO YEARS AGO!

A few more weekends like THIS (we hope) and we'll be talking SLUMP again!

Posted 1:06 PM by Gene

Senator Richard Shelby of Alabama has steered at least $50 million over the past decade, including $10 million approved by the Senate yesterday, to military projects benefiting a company owned by one of his largest campaign contributors.

Who'd have thought it? ANOTHER Senator LESS than HONORABLE.

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

The newspulp biz slowly goes into its gimmick mode:

A First? `Philly Inquirer¿ [Angry Greg SIC] Launches Mobile Sports News Service

The Real-TOR®s or whomever that own the StinkyInky realize SPORTS is a PROFIT CENTER. It is most likely, however, they'd use the profits not to make a better paper, but to create more self-justifying PROFIT CENTERS.

Posted 10:26 AM by Gene

We think we've figured out why decent skyscrapers may no longer be possible. The classics of the pre-Depression golden age are slim, tapered affairs. But such designs are out because of business's demand for continuous space. For a modern building to have the well-trimmed grace of the Chrysler it would have to be 5,000 feet high. Hence the blocky, uninspired corporate designs to be gaggled in Lower Manhattan, which merely compound the artlessness of history's most uninspired age.

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

One area where snob appeal still holds its sway is America's top "universities." So long as kids enter them for the social status, there's no reason for them to reform.

Whoever said people attend the Ivies for the education?

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

More bull from Forbes.com: Two marketing EXPERTS insist snob appeal can be brought back to deluxe consumer goods and hoity-toity clubs. But the only effective way of conferring the requisite appeal is with a dose of news hacks yelling "HIP", and who believes them?

Posted 9:19 PM by Gene

ANOTHER DAY IN KING RICHARD'S FIRST-AMENDMENT-DEFENDING CONTROL PHREAKDOM:

Hollywoodland was produced by Focus Features, a division of GE's Universal Pictures, but rights to the original Superman TV show are held by a competing studio, Warner Bros. (A SISTER COMPANY OF THIS MAGAZINE AND WEBSITE) [Overemphasis added]. "It was difficult dealing with Warner Bros., because they were extremely protective of their ownership rights," says Coulter, a first-time film director who previously helmed episodes of The Sopranos and Sex and the City. [Doesn't that count for ANYTHING?!?!?]

Hollywoodland was allowed to use a Superman costume, because the fictional figure is so iconic it's considered part of the public domain. But for the original 1950s' TV show The Adventures of Superman, Warners had more legal clout. The studio was highly restrictive regarding the new movie's use of the TV show's original theme and famous introduction ("Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive. . ." ) "They looked at the opening title of the TV series down to the second," says Coulter. "We had to re-shoot the entire title sequence." As a result, Hollywoodland's version of the TV show's intro is a bit truncated, but only die-hard geeks will likely know the difference. "We re-did the voice-over, re-scored the music, and had to lose a refrain," says Coulter, a bit wistfully.

I think GE BANCORP AND REALTY should return the favor and do AN UNAUTHORIZED HISTORY OF PEOPLE WARNER -- and NOT ASK FOR PERMISSIONS.

And then PEOPLE WARNER should do AN UNAUTHORIZED HISTORY OF GE BANCORP AND REALTY and get LITTLE JEFFY FIRED.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador has given up efforts to have himself declared winner of Mexico's presidential race, but he still plans a parallel government to cater to the poor and keep alive his fight against the president-elect, a party spokesman said Friday.

If only (sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) PRESIDENT GORE had done that!

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

A rare disease -- visitor hits M-ASS-ACHUSETTS!

Citizens! BATHE THOROUGHLY!

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

IDIOTS:

Our cool cousin Whitney over at Pop Candy says she doesn't want to believe it, but The Los Angeles Times today writes about how YouTube phenom "Lonelygirl15" may have been revealed to be something other than what she's claimed. Turns out she may be the creation of Beverly Hills-based talent agency Creative Artists Agency, not the compellingly candid teen she says she is on her very popular videos.

The news has the blogosphere buzzing: Lonelygirl15 is now the sixth most popular search term at Technorati.

It is now plain such worthless sites (except in the Gekkovian or RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!IAN sense), far from being the emancipators of mankind, are tools for publicity stunts and advertising at best, at worst facilitators of crime. Why would people waste even a fraction of their time at a site when they know they will be manipulated -- and possibly violated?

Posted 12:11 PM by Gene

We've hardly paid attention to this brouhaha regarding HP and its CHAIRPERSON's tantrum over leaks, figuring it was to business what THE INFERNAL PLAME CASE was to politics. We must ask, though, if we've just seen the tip of an industrial-spying iceberg here.

Posted 12:05 PM by Gene

Shhhh, don't tell anybody, King Denny just ditched the Senate's immigration "reform."

Was there ever any doubt this was a non-starter?

(Via FRONTPAGE MAGAZINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 11:36 AM by Gene

Part of us hopes the news biz would go full bore for a P-Ulitzer-winning defeat in Iraq. But there are two problems here. First, when we got out of Vietnam, we merely thought we were getting out of a quagmire. Few foresaw the catastrophe in DEMOCRATIC KAMPUCHEA. Only the malevolent hacks would like what they saw if we got outoutOUT today. Second, BIGMEDIA was still in a heady growth phase in the seventies, with the monumental gouging of cable well in the future. Today, it's in a funk, but especially the news biz, with untold thousands of firings, and still more to come. If the hacks want to do their Jaws routine, that is fine with us, but they should not be surprised (as surprised these credulous hacks would be) if the business's downturn accelerates and people complain more loudly about their "reporting."

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

With all these VIACON NUMSKULLS saying a tearful goodbye to one of the great businessmen of all time it appears it isn't SUMNER who's fostered a personality cult. You'd better watch yourself, SUM: MR. MTV's liable to come back in a few years and kick YOU out.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

Washington Sen. Maria Cantwell helped arrange more than $11 million in federal money in the past year for projects benefiting clients of a lobbyist who is advising her re-election campaign and still owes her money from a personal loan.

Oops! We thought only REPUBLICANS engaged in sleaze!

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

We may wonder: which is worse in the world of Romy and the hacks: that "ten Florida journos" took money from a "US agency", or that ten Florida journos took money from a US agency?

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

And speaking of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s mentor, which has the longer entry in Wikipedia: Lex Luthor or James K. Polk?

"Wikipedia joke" yields 13,400,000 GOOGLE HITS.

Posted 5:46 PM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lobbies His viewers:

News Corp. [SIC!!!!!] seemed to be using commercial breaks on MyNetwork to head off the TV police at the gate (both "Desire" and "Fashion House" incorporate sexual themes into their storylines). The new network aired promotions for FoxFaith.com, which is a website aimed at selling Fox-produced Christian and family-friendly programming. Another spot was an Ad Council PSA about parental controls -- the spot shows a mother talking to mobsters about violence on TV. The commercial directs parents to a website, TheTVboss.org, which gives advice on using the V-Chip and understanding the rating system.

RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, You've got "McDonald's, Geico, Target and Best Buy and Bally Fitness" on Your side, so You can do WHATEVER YOU WANT.

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

Hmm, BUD TV's going to "police" itself with an HONOR CODE.

I really think you guys should send your programming to the SECRET CHEFS of JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP, and have them RATE IT. That way you REALLY INFORM PARENTS.

Errr, what's this about kids not being allowed to drink?

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

To the two of you who read me: Today I finally got my FREE (with shipping) FrontPage 2003 software. Over the next few weeks I intend to get the feel of it and try to see if I can incorporate a new design on this site. It can't hurt. Then again, maybe it can.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

And at the RAH! RAH! SIS-BOOM-BAH! SHOW-BIZ-FRIENDLY CORNER, which may soon run MORE MOVIE ADS THAN ANY OTHER BLOG, still more SECOND THOUGHTS, from JO-NAH:

My basic view is, a pox on everybody. The Democratic Party embraced Michael Moore's movie at the highest levels. Daschle hugged Moore at the premiere. Carter invited him to sit with him at the convention. Etc Etc. Are they claiming that F9/11 is more accurate than the ABC miniseries? If so, I'd like to hear them say it. At the same time, when, CBS tried to come out with that Reagan biopic, conservatives howled in outrage and got CBS to drop it. Why shouldn't liberals have a go at the same thing? Of course, during the Reagan brouhaha liberals got their panties in a knot about how it was "censorship" and a horrifying example of conservative bullying when the Right succeeded. Now, it seems many of the same liberals are cheering as the former President of the United States is trying to bully ABC into dropping the miniseries. Nobody looks good in this one.

Shucks. Not even you guys?

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

The Dems are still nowhere near moral equivalence with the K Street project--for instance, I'm not aware of any major positions Nancy Pelosi has recently taken with an eye toward pleasing the business community (a key difference between Pelosi and her more corporate-friendly lieutenant/rival Steny Hoyer). But if they win back the House majority, the Democrats' dealings with lobbyists will understandably be held to an uncomfortably high standard. [Emphasis added]

SIX OF ONE....

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Vegetative Patient Shows Signs of Awareness, Study Says

Another reason to choose -- DEATH?

Posted 2:22 PM by Gene

Brand sets goal of 80-percent graduation rate in Division I

Does that include professional college football and basketball?

Posted 12:09 PM by Gene

Every year some lefties throw a tantrum over the stories the media are CENSORING!!!!! They don't help their cause with the hyperbole, especially as several of the stories deserve a higher pitch. But these clowns make their overall intentions too clear with this one:

9. WORLD BANK FUNDS ISRAEL-PALESTINE WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Overemphasis added]

We like the sources, too:

Sources: "Cementing Israeli Apartheid: The Role of World Bank," Jamal Juma', Left Turn, issue 18; "US Free Trade Agreements Split Arab Opinion," Linda Heard, Aljazeera, March 9, 2005 [Links OURS]

So! Israeli APARTHEID's being CENSORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank YOU, MediaBistro, for the helpful link!

Posted 11:48 AM by Gene

It's official: THE SUPERDUPEREST OF SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS BESTOWS THAT MINI-SERIES THE CONSERVATIVE PC SEAL OF APPROVAL!!!!!

Meantime, a little sense prevails elsewhere:

I've never been one to get my history from TV movies, and I'm not going to start now -- that would make me no better than liberals who get their history from Michael Moore.

Somewhere, Osama's smiling: he must figure the next time he can pull one off we'll be too busy pointing fingers to bother him. Thanks, SLICK and CLEANING LADY! Thanks, PUNDITS OF THE RIGHT!

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

James Frey's little memoir's gonna cost.

Next time Jim, call it fiction.

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

YOO-HOO! ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!?

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

From the home office at the Ed Sullivan Theater: David Letterman is staying at CBS for another four years.

ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

Greg, Greg, you MUST take your meds again.

And PATRIOTIC GORE LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHVES IT, so we get a crock either way.

Who wants to bet that (in part because we're up to our eyeballs in 9/11) not that many watch this? (And ESPNCorp won't even glean any ad revenues.)

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

Speaking of the two-face from Iran, it is all well and good for Gov. Romney to stand up to him. Will he stand up as president?

(Sorry for the FRONTPAGE MAGAZINE!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

•Books on 9/11: Is there any more to say?

The answer is pretty well close to no, on all fronts, but already we are wallowing in this anniversary up to our eyeballs, and we are getting tired of it.

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

A dean at HAHVAHD MUTUAL FUND's stub graduate skool of guvment asks a question:

``DO WE LISTEN TO THOSE THAT WE DISAGREE WITH, AND VIGOROUSLY CHALLENGE THEM, OR DO WE CLOSE OUR EARS COMPLETELY?????" [Overemphasis added]

We suspect as befits his station in life he's been selectively deaf quite a few times before.

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

As we enter the lamest part of Dubya's lame-duck term, a question arises: Who will write his memoirs?

Posted 6:57 AM by Gene

FILM [sic] showing the moment that Steve Irwin, the naturalist and film-maker, was impaled by the barbed tail of a stingray should be destroyed before it finds its way on to the internet, his close friend and manager urged yesterday.

Who'll be the first to say too late?

Posted 6:54 AM by Gene

Meantime, the public lies down and dies so it can cram itself into flying bombs, eat stale peanuts, and go 50,000 times a year from one end of America to the other, pretending to be doing something.

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

A con-SERRRRRRRRRRRR-va-tive mini-series.

We want KLO! We want KLO!

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX:

Salon, Newsweek and The American Prospect owe Karl Rove an apology. And all of journalism needs to relearn the lesson: Can the conspiracy theories and stick to the facts. [Home-page blurb]

So what did you write?

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

An over-the-hill "feminist" attacks Crocodile Man, and RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s girlfriend is charged with DUI.

Another crusading day in the CNN newsroom.

Posted 9:14 PM by Gene

Forbes too often pulls the onward-Christian-soldiers shtick with high-tech, but it makes a good case that in computing the irresistible force of simplicity is about to meet the immovable object of complexity. It is now obvious Vista does the same thing as XP with twice the hardware needs, and the only trade-up is a snazzy transparency effect that may not be worth all that moolah. And people are tired of buying a computer every three years just to buy a computer. We would not bet the farm against Bill's Bugdom, but with all these businessmen creating and deploying cheap technology we may wonder if His jig is finally up.

Posted 8:44 PM by Gene

A "victory" for MR. NOBEL (Al Reut reporting) is usually a defeat for the world, but for now we'll just say Israel had to accede eventually, and be done with it.

Posted 8:40 PM by Gene

SHAKESPEARE'S BETTER IS NUMBER ONE!!!!! BUT....

At 9.39 million units, overall CD sales are down 1.5% from last week's count and down 10% compared to the same week a year ago. Sales for 2006 are down 6% compared to 2005 at 354 million units.

Sounds like the same old masterpieces to me.

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

GM Extends 2007 Model Warranties to 100,000 Miles

Why didn't these guys do this before they got in trouble?

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

PERFECT TIMING from ROMY and the GANG at COLUMBIA JERNALISM REVUE:

Why the prisoner abuse story has become a "frozen scandal"

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

Anderson Cooper Trained at CIA (Radar)

Pffh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

(MediaBistro link)

Posted 4:53 PM by Gene

Well, look on the bright side, Mike Robinson of ASSociated Press:

Former Gov. George Ryan, who was acclaimed by capital punishment foes for suspending executions in Illinois and emptying out death row, was sentenced to 6 1/2 years in prison Wednesday in the corruption scandal that ended his political career.

Makes you want to stand up for an appeal!

Posted 3:09 PM by Gene

Hey Bill! BILL KELLER!! Here's one of the innocents warehoused in the SECRET PRISONS YOU HATED.

Think we could organize a legal defense fund?

Posted 12:13 PM by Gene

Lebanon says to break blockade in 48 hours

And how do you propose to do that, Mr. Foreign Minister?

Posted 11:58 AM by Gene

Mark Swed will no doubt get dozens of petulant e-mails, especially with the comparison to that classical Flavor of the Month David Helfgott (who?), but what he says is quite on-the-mark: genius can't grow in a spotlight, and we may not have genius here.

(Via ArtsJournal.com)

Posted 9:52 AM by Gene

MR. NOBEL PEACE PRIZE says Hezbollah can be disarmed with CONSENSUS!

Move the League of Nations to Khartoum, or Tripoli -- or TEHRAN!

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

What cares the two-faced "moderate" of Iran what becomes of Israel when his president romances its destruction?

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

We would say the Goldmans are attempting to squeeze blood from a turnip. Alas, if only OJ were a turnip.

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

OOOOOoooooh, an Iranian envoy gets MAD, and leaves talks, meaning -- CUE THE WET NOODLES!

Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

JONNY HAIRSHIRT says Lucy Van Pelt "dropped the ball"!

Sighhhhhhhhh, I guess that means she did good.

Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

Our peripatetic Branson East correspondent Mr. Riedel sums up the vast riches visitors to that broken-down Disneyland near the Hudson can expect soon: THE BEST BRITISH MUSICAL EVER!!!!! that might be too British for Branson East; KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN'S SECOND HIGH-SCHOOL REVUE MASTERWORK!!!!!, and another musical version of Anna Christie!!!!!

These shows will echo through the corridors of time!

We suspect with KERNGERSHWIN's immortality the hacks have their hard drives locked and loaded, but KERN may labor at a slight disadvantage without THE BOYS.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

Just how hot is the condo market? Well, in Boston, one developer's resorting to AUCTIONS to sell 34 units in a high-rise!

Still think the PRESS was the problem, REAL-TORS®?

Posted 6:54 AM by Gene

Anheuser-Busch is spending at least $30 million on vanity Web television, which, while no doubt money wasted, is less waste than hundreds of millions to defend the right to schmooze in Hollywood.

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

The Pakistanis have juggled a lot of balls in the fight against terrorism, not to mention their national conscience. We just hope their decision to leave the holy cockroaches of the north alone is a mere tactical one, and that the Beverly Hillbillies of Islam will use the opportunity to leave the rest of us alone.

Posted 8:52 PM by Gene

A sales -- ANALYST has a BRILLIANT IDEA:

Robert Routh, entertainment analyst at Jefferies & Co., said Viacom should consider a merger with portal giant Yahoo.

We can answer that in one word: AOL.

Posted 8:34 PM by Gene

Why do I get this feeling Lucy Van Pelt's debut was anti-climax?

Even the Freepers didn't care.

Posted 6:28 PM by Gene

DAVID "WAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" GREGORY IS BACK!!!!!

He and HHHWWWALTER CRRRONKITE JR. MUST get together. They can call it SYNERGY.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

The Corner calls ANOTHER Dubya speech "EXCELLENT." Why is it every time Dubya makes an EXCELLENT speech he goes back to the White House basement?

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

We suspect Bill Ford's resignation as CEO marks the beginning of the end of his family's motor rule. Well-meaning -- and Mr. Ford was very conscientiously well-meaning -- just didn't cut it. But how does appointing an aircraft executive make the mess better? When will our auto makers realize the key to success is top-notch cars -- and companies that know how to sell them?

Posted 11:16 AM by Gene

Bye bye, Tony!

And please make it soon!

Posted 10:34 AM by Gene

An Al Reut stringer phones up:

A Taliban spokesman said civilians had also been killed in the operation but Innes had no reports of civilian casualties.

But resident Mohammad Giran said civilians had taken the brunt of the death toll and accused NATO and Afghan troops of firing indiscriminately.

"Bombings happen day and night," Giran told Reuters by mobile phone from Panjwai. "If one Taliban dies, three civilians also get killed. In the past four days, 10 of my relatives have been martyred,

"The joint forces fire upon any one without making sure if he is a Talib or not. I think 20 Taliban may have been killed, the rest are all innocent civilians."



If you say so, Al Reut!

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

Despite the bigbigBIGBIG summer, Hollywood still needs a shrink:

" 'Miami Vice' is symptomatic of a malaise in the industry," said independent media analyst Harold Vogel.

"The industry is undergoing a transition in terms of business models. For the first time in many years, they are encountering strong head winds against whatever they throw up against the screen."

And we know why: he could mean that LITERALLY.

Studio economics have gone from bad to worse since General Electric entered the movie business three years ago. GE bought Universal at a time when DVD sales were near their peak. But growth has flattened as consumers fill out their home libraries.

"It's a different world than it was three years ago," Vogel said.

Little JEF-fy! Look BEHIND you!

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

8:46 [CVS] CVS Corp Aug revenue rose 23% to $3.4B

8:44 CORRECT: Walgreen Aug. same-store sales up 10.6%

WOW! There's a lot of money in cloning stores and fleecing Medicare!

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

And in other show-biz personnel moves, PATRIOTIC GORE is leaving his smut-busting organization!

We hope his successor is as zealous in attacking dirty words and defending patriotism as BRENT.

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

Time editor wants his mag to be more a lamp than a mirror

How much choice is there between a 10-watt lamp and a funhouse mirror?

Meantime the rag may ditch its rate base, meaning its circulation number of "4 million" is as good as the piece of paper it's written on.

Over the past year, top Time Inc. executives have held meetings to discuss a number of options that could alter the newsweekly’s circulation strategy, said Time Inc. insiders. One such meeting in midsummer recommended a range of options from doing away with Time’s rate base to chopping its guaranteed circ by as much as 25 percent to equal that of rival Newsweek’s 3.1 million circ, according to a Time Inc. source familiar with the meeting. Time is expected to make a decision as early as November, which is just two months shy of when the weekly’s on-sale date moves to Friday from Monday.

So! Moving the print date had EVERYTHING to do with making PEOPLE NEWSRAG BETTER!

TURN DOWN THAT LAMP!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

SUMNER FIRES ANOTHER WOULD-BE SUCCESSOR!!!!! (The hacks are calling it a "resignation", but at VIACON we all know what THAT means.)

This Philippe Dauman we believe to be a friend of THE GREAT STONE FACE OF ANNOYING TV ADS -- at least he used to boast about some fellow named Dauman in his colyumn. If he's a friend of STONE FACE that doesn't recommend him.

P. S. at 10:40 a.m. SUMNER schemed to can him for WEEKS!

P. P. S. VIACON's stock's way down! HA HA HA!

P. P. P. S. At 10:48 p.m. Ben Stein's friend was somebody else and probably not related to the new VIACON whipping boy -- but with STONE FACE you never know.

Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

Some hack who earned $40 million a picture writing caveman dialogue recounts his career with -- GENIUS:

"For many years, Robert De Niro, always brilliant onscreen, couldn't even say two words on his own. He'd sit there, not speaking - woefully, miserably, pathetically lost without the words of a script."

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

America's BROAD¢A$TER$ are LAUGHING:

The national parties' campaign organizations have reserved an astonishing $16.1 million worth of commercial time on Philadelphia's television stations in the month leading up to the election on Nov. 7.

TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

The ASSociated Press comes up with a new euphemism for suspected terrorists: it's "ethnic."

Okay, Curley's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) Stooges, we know who plotted it -- it was BUDDHISTS.

Posted 6:31 AM by Gene

Another bold prediction:

"It's highly likely that one of the networks will end its formal newscast in the next five years," says Mr. Harper, and find other uses for the time slot.

And it's highly likely that with a chance to one-up the competition and all those users of incontinence aids and denture adhesives out there that the nightly news will slog along, to no discernible purpose.

Posted 10:44 PM by Gene

Anything and everything must have a Web "tribute" site. By accident I came across this one for something virtually unknown, but which (supposedly) once captivated zillions: the NBC radio show Monitor. Listening to the few bad transfers we wonder what captivated the zillions about Gene Rayburn unfunnily ad-libbing, or Bert Parks greasily schmoozing, or Ray Goulding doing an antique me-Tonto routine, or Ernie Kovacs being impenetrable. It will not do to say Monitor was one of those "you had to be there" experiences, like KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN'S IMMORTAL MUSICAL, but that somebody can say how "beloved" something was when the fact remains totally unobvious says a phenomenon's time may have gone well before the phenomenon.

P. S. Here's the show's "theme music", which suggests a TouchTone phone gone berserk. This musical gibberish makes the pre-Erich Wolfgang Korngold chimes on the NBC Nightly News sound heavenly. We are told "Gen." David Sarnoff HATED it. He had sense, unlike the "LEGENDARY" PAT WEAVER, who for all we know may have lost the chance to run RCA because of it.

(Monitor links updated 2/19/2009; site's URL changed from .com to .net)

Posted 9:42 PM by Gene

AWFUL NEWS FROM THE CORNER:

McCAIN-FEINGOLD AD BAN STARTS THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Overemphasis added]

OR:

Something almost without precedent in America will happen Thursday. That’s the day when McCain-Feingold — aka the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act of 2002 — will officially silence broadcast advertising that contains criticism of members of Congress seeking re-election in November. Before 2006, American election campaigns traditionally began in earnest after Labor Day. Unless McCain-Feingold is repealed, Labor Day will henceforth mark the point in the campaign when congressional incumbents can sit back and cruise, free of those pesky negative TV and radio spots. It is the most effective incumbent protection act possible, short of abolishing the elections themselves.

Wait a second! If this is an "incumbent protection act" doesn't that keep the REPUBLICANS in power? Isn't that GOOD news?

P. S. The people who HAD to name this blog "Sixers" are 9-73.

Posted 8:58 PM by Gene

Okay Hendrik, you seem to know everything; how do we get the world to LOVE us again?

We're surprised NewYorker.com hasn't become as vastly overrated as the rag. DAVE! You MUST work at this.

Posted 8:38 PM by Gene

Martin Amis:

The Looming Tower, Lawrence Wright’s tough-minded and cussedly persistent narrative opens with portraits of the triumvirate of developed Islamism: Sayyid Qutb, Ayman al- Zawahiri and Osama bin Laden. Almost at once, the question arises: should we be solaced or additionally galled by the poverty of the human material now so ferociously ranged against us? In these pages we meet some formidable schemers and killers, such as Khaled Sheikh Mohammed, the author of “the planes operation” (since captured). As for the other players, there are nuances, there are shades of black; but the consistent profile is marked by intellectual vacuity, by a fanaticism that simply thirsts for the longest possible penal code, and, most basically, by a chaotically adolescent — or even juvenile — indifference to reality. These men are fabulists crazed with blood and death; reality for them is just something you have to manoeuvre around in order to destroy it.

This is writing. We don't get too much of this from news types these days.

Posted 6:21 PM by Gene

The story of Guy Gabaldon is the story of the guts and determination we Americans don't seem to have much of anymore, except in the negative.

Who cares if he disobeyed orders? I say give him a posthumous Medal of Honor.

P. S. I know all about the Crocodile Hunter, and yes, it's a very sad story; but that guy merely hunted down wildlife for television, and Mr. Gabaldon saved over a thousand Japanese, and untold Americans. (Call me ignorant, but I doubt I'd heard of Steve Irwin before this.) I will not say one is better than the other, but I wonder if the space devoted to this undoubted friend of the environment isn't a little excessive, especially given this competing obit.

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Elsewhere in the world's fount of wisdom, Larry "Gekko" Kudlow "rethinks" his "pessimism", which makes us rethink rethinking ours:

[T]he GOP must deliver strong and repetitious messages on these key issues in the next 64 days.

Oh, they'll be repetitious, all right. They've learned that from twelve years ruining Congress.

Posted 2:14 PM by Gene

SUHHHH MICHAEL CAINE BLOWS A FUSE:

Yesterday he spoke of having felt “quite depressed” on Saturday night after casting his eye over the Top Ten box-office hits in the US.

He said: “I was struck by how stunningly banal and formulaic it all was.”

The hits reflected Hollywood at its trashiest, with an emphasis on special effects, action and violence, he said. Singling out Beerfest, a comedy about excessive drinking, and The Worm-Eaters [SIC], a horror drama [SIC] about boys who eat worms, he added: “Some of the pictures are so gross.

“The film industry has a responsibility to give audiences something better, he emphasised, lamenting how the pursuit of money is stifling creativity and imagination....”

And how many depressing, banal, formulaic, trashy, violent and gross movies have YOU made, Suhhhh Michael?

How about The Swarm and Beyond the Poseidon Adventure?

P. S.

Trivia: 'Michael Caine' [SIC] stated in an interview that during filming [of The Swarm] he thought the little yellow spots left by the bees on his clothing was honey so he began to eat it, unaware he was eating bee poop.

P. P. S. As might be expected those errors spread throughout the RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! empire, although for some reason in Australia the drinking was no longer excessive.

(Via KLO TRAVERS, who's always praising depressing, banal, formulaic, trashy, violent and gross movies -- especially if they're con-SER-va-tive.

And undoubtedly she got it from WALTER "THE SPYWARE COWBOY" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who certainly doesn't know any better.

And I must admit I didn't know better; I let those two errors pass for over five hours.)

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

Andre loses, alas, and now tennis can return to oblivion.

Meanwhile THE GOLFING MACHINE wins again, and now CEOs can become even more insufferable.

Posted 10:26 AM by Gene

Someone's putting on a one-man show called Sammy & Me, and if we had to lay odds we'd say the me will never be as famous as the Sammy.

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

G.O.P. SEEN TO BE IN PERIL OF LOSING HOUSE!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! [Overemphasis added. Love that double qualification, by the way.]

According to the CQPolitics site, which we would call "respected" except that's news-hack speak for LIBERAL, and we don't want to insult it, counting "favored" seats and "leans", the Republicans have 220 seats in hand and the Democrats 203, with 12 undecided. (These stats have not changed lately, whether due to politics or CQ we don't know.) To be sure, the Garrulous Ossified Party deserves to lose control of the House, and things are always in a state of flux until the election; but as people make out the Howard Deans who run the Jackass party they may opt for the jackasses they know.

The more news hacks repeat their CW the less certain you are it's true.

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

Elsewhere in the land of the print superficial, Louise uses the words "hipsters" and "cult-favorite" to describe Noo Yawk's top Krispy Kreme store closing, meaning CNBC will definitely not be the same.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

Let's see -- I predict, in the third graf of this story, Paul Dreck intones the movies will come back stronger than ever!

"If every year were like this, it would be fine," said Paul Dergarabedian, president of Exhibitor Relations. "Hollywood will take solid over slump any time."

What did I say?

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

"We are good people -- we are Persians!"

But your rulers are bad people whom we can't call fascists because Democrats and newspaper editors would complain.

(Via -- oh well -- the Corner)

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

We feel sorry for those innocent Muslims who may get entrapped by our government. But given the choice between a few innocent Muslims and a few tens of thousands dying, do we have much choice?

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

RAH RAH from Al Reut!

A resolution demanding the resignation of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld after he compared Iraq war critics to Nazi appeasers has strong support among U.S. Senate Democrats, a senior Democrat said on Sunday.

A resolution against Rumsfeld, long a lightning rod for criticism of the Iraq war, would struggle to be passed by the Republican-controlled Senate and would anyway not be binding on the administration of President George W. Bush.

Seems to us people who will not use the word "terrorist" in their reporting are the last people who should campaign against Rummy. Sorry, photo doctorers, we know which side you're on.

Posted 10:05 AM by Gene

Every CEO's favorite AFRICAN-AMERICAN JE$$E's on the JOB again -- in LEBANON!

Why can't this guy get himself unemployed?

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

LOLLIPOP LOU DOBBS's former assistant prettyface says this housing bubble talk is "overblown."

Have you ever heard the phrase "contrary indicator"?

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

An ad blurbist above and beyond the call of duty insists hundreds of new IMMORTAL MASTERPIECES from the recorded...SOUND industry will overwhelm our ears these next few months, which makes us wonder whether such work as his is a disorder.

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

Mr. My Business is My Business shrugs his shoulders and sighs, I guess we can't get out of Iraq after all.

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

Meanwhile we must confess the TWXSTERS have put us in the DOOM, GLOOM and ENNUI mode, for while Iraq has arrested the local Al Qaeda number two, we know how holy cockroaches breed.

Posted 9:19 AM by Gene

The TWXSTERS give further evidence their no-longer-flagship pulp pile could print any day of the week and it wouldn't help: PEOPLE NEWSRAG turns 9/11 into Vietnam. We don't know who this Nancy Gibbs is (wasn't she a heroine in a girl's book or something?), but if this be the bold, forward voice of the NEW PEOPLE NEWSRAG the TWXSTERS had better get ready to fold it, which can't come soon enough.

And as he's booted out of the premises -- rather, as he moves to a new strategic position within ST. WARREN's media heaven -- Mr. Mark gives us News You Can Use® about the Every Child a Dilbert Act -- mostly what we could already guess. (You'd think these folks would be celebrating because it means more money to K * * * * N.) One thing we already know: the newsrags are the blindest of the blind leading the blind.

P. S. Speaking of blind, the publisher of PEOPLE NEWSRAG, Richard "Can't Anyone Here Play This Game?" Stengel, barely cognizant his cover story turns 9/11 into Vietnam, issues a -- NOTE:

A few weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to have attended a small lunch for General Brent Scowcroft, National Security Adviser [SIC] to President George H.W. Bush.

That's FORTUNATE? Or are you merely showing off? It must have had an effect though as it brought out Dick's INNER SENATOR:

At the end of World War II, we faced a new world order that challenged some of the basic tenets of what we stand for as a nation. In response, we developed a bipartisan foreign policy to deal with those new challenges and dangers. We helped create nonpartisan global institutions like nato [common PeopleNewsrag.com SIC], the World Bank, the U.N. and the Marshall Plan. The strategy of containment was accepted by both parties. I believe that our circumstances today offer a similar opportunity and we must consider policies and actions on a comparable scale, with that same spirit of bipartisanship. This is an opportunity we cannot afford to let slip. We must be as creative today as our predecessors were a half-century ago. Realism and idealism are two strains not only in our foreign policy but also blahblahblah....

Somewhere, HENRY LUCE is torturing the citizens of Hell with more fire.