Posted 11:01 PM by Gene

Speaking of bullhockey, the flip side of this SYNERGY-inspired POS from the House of JARVIS is the actresses who were punished for not doffing their clothes out of principle. The sons of the fraud JEFF also seem to have forgotten casting couches. We'll never hear those stories.

P. S. in the comments, from someone named "Anonymous" (an EWWWWWWWWWWW! staffer with a guilty conscience, or maybe JOHN "HOOEY" HUEY?):

This entire list is a joke, but then we all know EW has lousy tastes when it comes to making any kind of a list.

Unfortunately when it comes to making money PEOPLE WARNER MAGAZINES has THE BEST TASTES.

According to another comment JEFF's boys may have done some reader snark pruning, thanks to the overwhelming smell of SYNERGY.

I repeat a demand of two years ago: Shut down all your rags except PEOPLE, HOOEY HUEY, and spin it off in an IPO. You think I'm kidding? I'd bet PEOPLE would bring in more than the rag division's worth.

Well, all right -- they could throw in SI for free.

Posted 10:56 PM by Gene

One should not go merely by a Reuters columnist, but we've had a housing depression going on four years. How can GEKKO KUDLOWS say with a straight face we have a booming economy?

Posted 10:38 PM by Gene

I despair of getting total truth from the Web because it takes the news hack's propensity for bullhockey and intensely amplifies it. Thus we get THE MILLION-DOLLAR YOUTUBE SINGER!!!!!!!!!! (a fiction declaimed by DVFORBESLISTBLOG), and now SUMNER's boys insist LIZ is worth $1 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!, a factoid being spread by BloomyBIZWEEK, the rag that declared THE DONALD worth $100 ZILLION. How can we hope for truth when that base Web PR instinct teaches us not to believe anything?

P. S. The professional fabulists did an equally good job seven years ago slinging factoids about Bob Hope. How ironic DVFORBESLISTBLOG used to debunk such claims; now it makes them.

Posted 8:03 PM by Gene

GEORGE vs. SLIME is an excellent argument for reviving duels, provided both sides hit their mark.

Posted 4:05 PM by Gene

For what it's worth, Gerry Ferraro would probably have made a better vice president than Alexander P. Throttlebottom. Unfortunately that would have meant electing a president who'd have been worse.

Posted 11:10 PM by Gene

No! NO!! The Paper of Re-CORD's about to go pay* and ANOTHER tantrum thrower leaves?!?

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

Irritating: When last Washington was majority white it was an honest working town (if ever a national capitol is honest or working). Today it means taxpayer leeches and government parasites are taking over, driving out the locals. With middle-class blacks leaving many cities this likely also means what's left of the black population is increasingly poor. It's happening in Boston, too, a city increasingly dominated by education leeches. Here is RENDELLISM in a nutshell: the super-rich and the super-poor in the same city, with nothing in common. We would not be surprised if in time the nation's capitol becomes almost as expensive as New York, and then it really will be time to THROW THE BUMS OUT.

Posted 2:04 PM by Gene

The best laid plans of mice: One unintended consequence of paying the players we hadn't thought of -- bidding wars. If companies ever sponsor professional college teams...although we'd hope by that time their owners would have spun them off as for-profit companies. Whether they could compete with the NFL is another story.

Posted 1:59 PM by Gene

"The case is still under NCAA investigation", meaning Ohio State's football CEO might still have to resign. He looks more resignable by the day.

This sort of sleaze wouldn't happen if the players got PAID.

Posted 1:47 PM by Gene

The lobbying division is at work.

Well, the article does NOT mention GE BANCORP BANK's problems -- a demerit to The Paper of Re-CORD. But it does mention the many scads of employees Very Little Jeffy laid off for no better reason than that they worked in the wrong COUNTRY.

Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

Surprise: Private industry didn't care, regulators didn't care, and now there's a leak in an N-plant.

Have we heard this sordid tale before?

Posted 1:26 PM by Gene

It's all nice and warm and fuzzy that North Philly has this nice big warm cozy community center -- you know, the one Happy Meals built -- and that maybe possibly someday the industrial eyesores on either side can be converted into apartments. Just one question: where will all the neighborhood people work?

Or as Very Little Jeffy would say, "THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED! WE HAVE OUR TAX BREAKS!!"

(Or more likely, "The public be gosh-darned, were just doing some imagineering.")

Posted 11:42 AM by Gene

In Death, Taylor Reveals James Dean's DARK SECRET!!!!! (Not-so-secret overemphasis added)

How many of us turn off a mental switch on anything like those last two words on Web sites? HENRY HONEST does this ALL the time with words like SHOCKING!!!!! So does SLIME in DA POST!!!!! So does MADAME AOL HUFF 'N' PUFF!!!!! So does NEWSER!!!!! James Dean's DARK SECRET!!!!!? A pastor molested him as a child. Given how much of Oprah and the Catholic sex-abuse debacle we've endured over the years who is genuinely mortified by such a thought -- especially since the guy died 56 years ago? Lay off the foot stomping, clods.

P. S. One might ask, then why should we care about the Rosenbergs? When were they executed? James Dean's secret surely created great internal anguish and contributed to his tragedy. The Rosenbergs' TREASON killed untold people and helped the Soviets enslave a good part of the world. Let James Dean rest in peace -- and the Rosenbergs burn in Hell.

Posted 11:20 AM by Gene

Yes, this is The Weekly Standard, and stories like this are subject to mandatory litmus tests (because treason never affects liberals), but if anyone deserves to be burning in Hell it's Julius Rosenberg.

Posted 10:13 AM by Gene

Terry Teachout at his best:

Making fun of Mormons in front of a Broadway crowd is like shooting trout in a demitasse cup. And while we're on the subject of imitation courage, let it be duly noted that if the title of this show were "The Quran," it wouldn't have opened....The boys have learned their lesson well: Never shoot at anybody who shoots back.

Let's stop kidding ourselves that Branson East has anything to do with anything except dilettante mayors faxing press releases to gullible hacks about its very minimal effect on the local economy.

We would not be surprised if this was the only negative review, these reviewing scribbling idiots always wanting to be in with the in-crowd; even if it isn't we're talking a tourist draw in a tourist trap.

Posted 9:16 AM by Gene

An INTERNATIONAL COMPANY gets bad publicity that won't hurt it one iota because it's essentially part of government, with all the legal bribery attendant thereto.

Posted 7:19 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Sigggghhhhhhhhhh, STARCHITECTS are still making the wrong choices about urban planning. This St. Louis courtyard looks to be barren by day, defenseless by night. An expanse of sidewalk does not a city make.

More to come -- we've missed a LOT over the last week.

Posted 7:11 PM by Gene

Hate to ask an inconvenient question but how well are Hispanics doing economically vis-a-vis other ethnic groups?

Posted 6:42 PM by Gene

1. We have Ralph Nader to thank for letting the BBB punish miscreant advertisers with wet noodles. 2. Any con-SER-va-tive reading this will pine for the good ol' days of caveat emptor and sandpaper made of Plexiglas. 3. The chief CRAINIAC's been spending an awful lot of time mentioning a certain TV show in his column, don'tcha think?

Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

REGULAR OLD "WASHINGTON NATIONAL AIRPORT" WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE NEO-STALINIST DINGBATS LIKE GROVER NORQUIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dingbatty overemphasis added)

We don't trust Grover Norquist. But we remember full well when the House debated the name change (we were in our too-much-time-on-our-hands-and-too-much-C-SPAN mode then) and the Democrats used all sorts of legalistic evasions to explain what they really felt -- that THEY HATED RONALD REAGAN. Well, maybe not HATED him, but profoundly disliked him. Ol' Jim "The Jew Hatin' Pugilist" Moran led the charge as though someone had landed a few too many punches to his common sense. He and his colleagues in comedy mentioned Mount Vernon so much you'd have thought they moved in before George. Yep, the ED ASNER coursed through these hacks only a short time after Reagan left office. So yes, Grover Norquist is dingbatty -- and Democrats are WEASELLY.

Posted 5:57 PM by Gene

How apt: she'll be buried at Forest Lawn.

P. S. at 7:38 p. m. It is, alas, ironic that Branson East is turning off its carny lights for a minute, seeing how she and Dick made such giant-sized asses of themselves in Private Lives. Oh well, such was their mystique, they were almost entitled.

Posted 3:30 PM by Gene

It says what a GEKKO KUDLOW kind of a MARKET!!!!! this is when a company can be brought down by a little-known research firm publicizing itself on a not-that-familiar Web site.

The only thing missing from this story is Jim BOOM! BOOM! Cramer, but The Motley Fool will do.

The economics of the company's acquisition strategy is relatively simple: tax arbitrage (described later) and dramatic cost cuts (headcount reductions and offshoring to India).

LEGENDARY WELCH! That's a STRONG BUY!!!!!

Recent 52-Week High Exceeded in Shares of Ebix!!!!!!!!!! (EBIX!!!!!!!!!!) (EBIX EBIX overemphasis added)

The stock has performed well, fueled by retail investor interest, momentum publications like Investors' Business Daily and minimal scrutiny from analysts. (Emphasis added)

Buyer be...PROFIT!

Posted 3:21 PM by Gene

Portugal Bailout Could Cost $99 to $114B

DOW 120 GIGAQUINTA -- isn't that gag tired now?

And stocks could go higher because it will cost less than cleaning up Japan!

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

We're not sure why this clever hack from Illinois had to stage the political equivalent of teasing a child when the NEWS HACKS definitively proved IRA MAN's hearings were EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. Because one of the witnesses is an 81-year-old ex-cardinal (translation: an analog of that guy who runs the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club) we can be sure this is a partisan score-settling joke.

Moreover Dick has to remind us of HONORARY MAYOR MIKE, and of "NATIONAL BROTHERHOOD WEEK", a song we suspect neither DICK nor HONORARY has ever heard.

(Sorry for the BRENT NEWS!)

Posted 8:14 AM by Gene

Articles like this serve worse than no purpose. The author -- we'll call him John McWoeful -- has chosen the world-weary approach, as annoying as it is evasive. Also it's dishonest as he uses one profanity a thousand times, but another he must address with a euphemism -- FOR PC REASONS. You'd think a black writer who makes a big song-and-dance of being UNCONVENTIONAL!!!!! would realize vocabularies are choices too. While we wish Mark weren't PILLHEAD's ACCENT his post on how Jews have become persona non grata to news hacks gives us a clue into such non-thinking:

[T]here are circles of depravity: The relatively small number of people willing to decapitate a baby; the larger number of Palestinians happy to celebrate the decapitation of a baby; and the massed ranks of western media anxious to obscure the truth about the nature of the event. The comments below Miss Bagshawe’s column provide a glimpse of a fourth circle – the large numbers of westerners who, even when confronted with the reality of what happened, are nevertheless eager to rationalize it as a legitimate response to a legitimate grievance. [Link added]

So -- one type of depravity slowly melts into another. There's another thing: pop...SOUND types are among those most likely to spout the bromides of anti-Semitism to appeal to their base. So it's not just dirty words -- it's dirty thoughts. We'd be better off not hearing from John again for some time.

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

As far as we're concerned, so long as the Communists run Cuba, Castro is in power.

Posted 1:14 PM by Gene

Broadcast ratings are down 11 percent

Don't tell me, let me guess -- BROADCAST AD REVENUES ARE UP 22 PERCENT!!!!!

Posted 11:58 AM by Gene

Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas President Richard W. Fisher said he sees “extraordinary speculative activity” in the U.S. after the central bank pumped record amounts of stimulus into the economy.

“There is an enormous amount of liquidity sloshing around,” the regional bank chief, who votes on monetary policy this year, said in a speech today in Berlin. “There is abundant liquidity in the machine we know as the United States economy.”

Well, certainly in the machine we know as the WALL STREET CASINO!

“We have done our job,” Fisher said at a forum hosted by the American Academy in Berlin. “We are certainly at risk of doing too much now.”

You've already done too much.

Posted 11:48 AM by Gene

We almost forgot -- last week we mentioned how MICKEY D®'s UK branch is staging a MONOPOLY® CONTEST!!!!! Well, we just got the RULES -- they're 11,165 WORDS LONG. Not as long as the last time here, but they give us hope ol' RONALD® can yet make a total ass of himself this summer.

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

As we have said before, take away its sugar daddies and SELIGISM is a shriveled thing, living on the cheers of the past. That the "sport" finds itself in serious money trouble makes us ask what kind of trouble it would be in without its sugar daddies.

Hey BUD! Call BEN! Maybe He can bail you out. Aren't you clowns ZILLIONAIRES?

Posted 10:55 AM by Gene

How long will the scribblers who appoint our president give THE DONALD a Get Out of Jail Free Card because he's a celebrity? (MONOPOLY -- hint, hint!)

Posted 10:47 AM by Gene

We are coming to maniacally detest how news hacks dispense abject praise out of one side of their conniving mouths (witness that hack the over-the-hill novelist) and decide to blast the things they've praised from the other when they suddenly become outdated. How can these properties be filet mignon the first year and rancid tripe the next? Or is it possible these properties were always rancid tripe and the hacks have no taste buds?

Posted 10:17 AM by Gene

Speaking of The Gang of 27, despite its fervent hopes the fact that success for TV pilots is ever so increasingly fleeting makes us hope the industry will continue to waste ever more money, though it wastes OUR money in the process.

Posted 10:04 AM by Gene

King is the author, most recently, of Full Dark, No Stars.

What an apt bio for another show-biz publicist.

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

"They're all just throwing a bunch of stuff against the wall and hoping some of it sticks," says Edward Atorino, a newspaper industry analyst at Benchmark Co.

I guess they're using a FAN -- but that always was the MO for SOB and USAOKAY!!!!!

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

Liz was the courtesan of the 20th century -- perhaps the last in a long line of raging show-biz beauties starting with Lillian Russell who could show off and get away with it. From the safe distance of fifty years we can forget she was once the most controversial woman of her day, what with her flaunting of sex and marriage and diamonds. (Hate to ask -- how does Debbie Reynolds feel today?) For her it was easy -- she had a face (and a bazoom) to die for; she could have launched a thousand ships. Even at thirteen she moved men to relive their puberty. Now show-biz females must manufacture controversy, in a way that provokes not drooling envy but headaches. That we've descended from Liz to her very nominal lookalike Lindsay pretty well says despite all the oohing and aahing adjectives of news hacks the golden age of show-biz ended a long time ago.

P. S. at 1:20 p. m.

Paul Newman Calls Elizabeth Taylor 'A Helluva Actress'

From the dead?

We knew Liz had mystical powers, but....

On Sunday April 10, Turner Classic Movies will present a 24-hour tribute to Elizabeth Taylor, with nine films, including the two for which she won the Best Actress Oscar, 1960's BUtterfield 8 and 1966's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Some people will do anything for SYNERGY.

Posted 9:02 AM by Gene

Our hypocritical super-PC sports-industrial government-money hogs and student bankrupters get in loco parentis at the point of a gun. Just as the Web has eviscerated the "news" biz, so the time is long overdue for it to weed out these pointless, shameless, worthless institutions.

The video was of that recent party at SUNY Albany. Methinks toward the end the Blutos very aptly describe themselves. More on the Blutoist festivities here.

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

Obama is keeping his peace prize

And he can keep it.

In THE MASTER's words, when those Scandinavian mental giants committed the deed it was "a foolish thing well done."

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

One thing that’s not in dispute is how much satellite radio has grown as a business since Stern [Stern who? They employ someone named Stern? We wouldn't know. Sure that isn't a pseudonym?] signed on with Sirius in 2004. At the time, the two operators had a combined subscriber base of around 3 million. Now they claim more than 20 million subscribers.

On March 3, 2000, a long time before 3 million, SIRI sold for $63.25.

NUF SAID.

Posted 2:04 PM by Gene

Keeping in mind this IS The Weekly Standard, and this IS FOX!!!!!!!!!!News, POPEYE is still playing tricks with Gitmo trials. Which raises the question -- if He and Chief Social Engineer Holder feel so strongly about letting terrorists have their RIGHTS why did POPEYE flex His muscles over Libya?

Posted 1:50 PM by Gene

AP source: Chris Brown destroys dressing room (!)

Another CLASS ACT in POP-u-LAR "MU-SIC"!

One wonders, however -- does the source work for DA NOOZ and DA POST?

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: AT&T bought itself customer service because it has a friend in the White House.

AT&T's Stephenson, in a conference call, sold the merger as filling out Obama's vision, since the merger would bring wireless service to virtually every US community.

Look guy, just say, we have our hack, we have our merger.

P. S. This hack will always be famous for one thing and one thing only: fainting.

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

The good news: Pirates are decimating our movee biz in China!!!!!!!!!!

The bad news: The leadership allows it because it's a sedative for the people.

Someone had better tell JACK VALENTI II he can't possibly win this fight. "Legitimate" films would cost many times as much. A lot of that would go to overhead. Do we really want to improve the market for our only export biz besides Caterpillar and planes?

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

If His Omnipotence were as good at governing as He is at BRACKETOLOGY....

Posted 3:29 PM by Gene

SUPERANGRY BABS is BACK ON!!!!! (?)

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

Warren Buffett said he’ll probably prolong his aversion to electronics makers such as Apple Inc. because their business prospects are harder to predict than companies such as Coca-Cola Co.

TRANSLATION: Missed that boat!

(Via Finviz)

Posted 9:52 AM by Gene

Only 7% Believe in Goldilocks: Survey

TRANSLATION: Who wants to admit believing in fairy tales?

Posted 9:29 AM by Gene

The Las Vegas district attorney who helped prosecute Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars on separate drug charges in 2010 was arrested and booked into jail on drug charges of his own over the weekend.

FURTHER NO COMMENT.

Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

Robert Pattinson Says He Once Looked Like a Homeless Person

NO COMMENT.

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

One can be sure every time the People's Republic of Bentonville wants to do more biz our guvment makes elaborate excuses over China's human-rights abuses. The Chinese seem to be abusing again. Aren't we overdue for some press releases from Bentonville and Foggy Bottom?

Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Brits have their version of Jersey Shore. We hadn't heard of it. What makes it right that we should hear of ours?

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

Assuming no if, and or but this confirms our belief that human ingenuity and the prospects of new technologies can get us out of virtually any pickle, provided we don't get ourselves into new and bigger pickles.

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

Meantime the RICH-ONLY RECOVERY continues!

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

In 2007 Citigroup stock sold in the forties.

On May 9 it will sell once more in the forties!

After a 1-for-10 reverse split.

I guess C figures its belle epoque ended some time ago.

DOW 60 QUINTAGIGAMEGAZILLION!

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: AT&T's buying customer service.

Posted 8:01 PM by Gene

If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:

1. We try not to wish ill on people but given that an ad agency is in the middle of two big stinks makes us grin. First, Burger King: obviously the people there thought that if we insult our customers hard enough that will result in glowing profiles in AdAge and The Paper of Re-CORD! Alas "six quarters of declining sales" gave it the heave ho; its advertising was SO bad even a CRAINIAC couldn't defend it. Second is -- I'm tired of hearing about it too -- the MASS COUPON COMPANY. You'd think that CEO would have been happy enough screaming, "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!" But he seems to have been so embarrassed by his deluxe seating he's taken to blasting this agency. Ultimately the fault for bad ads rests with the executives who use them as an excuse to schmooze in Hollywood, and lord it over their inferiors.

2. The unspoken implication in this story about how Diet Pepsi fell behind Coke is that Indra, America's most PC CEO, was responsible. She could hardly have not been, after the Pepsi-logo laughs, the Tropicana redesign botch, the Gatorate goof -- but she will NOT lose HER job because she has so exceptionally insinuated herself into American business that it would seem un-PC to fire her.

Posted 12:17 PM by Gene

We wonder in reading this if we weren't being unfair to Warren Christopher. Let us assume Christopher was the towering pillar of virtue Rich says he was. That still does not negate that the only way we ever saw him was through television and his highly peculiar manner. We think of this line by the Wall Street biggie Paul Singer: "We try to at all times at least assume that the world is not being properly run." If, as Henry Adams once said of Washington, "Presidents, Senators, Congressmen, and such things were swarming in every street", so too the aides, assistants and hangers-on who will flower over their virtues, real or imagined. We still cannot quite rid ourselves of the skunk smell from when that blithering hack Farhi called St. Jack of Valenti one for the ages. We cannot trust such eulogies because we must assume the world is not being properly run, and after those not properly running it have died they too will get such eulogies. And we must especially think the world is not being properly run from Foggy Bottom. We will leave Warren Christopher at peace, and say he deserved the encomium; but we hope JPOD will be careful the next time he lavishes posthumous praise on anybody.

Posted 11:40 AM by Gene

We will concede telephone calls can be annoying. But doesn't typing without surcease have its own drawbacks? I don't own a cell phone and I don't chat; I wouldn't know. But I would just as soon not chat with people I barely know as talk to them. In the end we seem to be spending more time in idle banter, whatever the medium.

This sounds like one of those false-trend non-stories Prof. Shafer's always knocking -- and it comes from The Paper of Re-CORD, the chief source of such non-stories.

(Via NEWSER!, which knows all about idle chat)

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

Any article that says TV IS GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! may not be worth reading. Any article that says TV IS GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! AND quotes PERFESSER THOMPSON!!!!! is definitely not worth reading.

Don't waste our time, TINA!!!!! -- or we can waste your money-losing properties!