THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, December 08, 2007
Roger M. King, the big-name syndicator who brought QUEEN OPRAH!!!!!, Alex Trebek and Pat Sajak to other-worldly prominence, has died. We will withhold our thoughts on THE GODDESS WHO ELECTED OBAMA and merely say RIP.
More great writing from St. Warren's Heaven:
New York's woes can be seen as a long-overdue comeuppance to a city, prone to hubris and arrogance, that stimulated and benefited greatly from the late credit orgy. But today, more than ever, Gotham deserves the sympathy of the nation. (Three words: New York Knicks.) The benefits of what New York produces—from Rent to financing for companies—emanate throughout the country.
We would say Dan should have quit while he was ahead but that would have meant not writing anything at all.
New York's woes can be seen as a long-overdue comeuppance to a city, prone to hubris and arrogance, that stimulated and benefited greatly from the late credit orgy. But today, more than ever, Gotham deserves the sympathy of the nation. (Three words: New York Knicks.) The benefits of what New York produces—from Rent to financing for companies—emanate throughout the country.
We would say Dan should have quit while he was ahead but that would have meant not writing anything at all.
Elsewhere, an NRO scribbler named Bell admits "I am going to need to learn how to defrost my refrigerator."
And NRO admits:
— Warren Bell has been a sitcom writer and producer and a member of the WGA for 18 years. He is currently executive producer of ABC’s According to Jim, which will return to the air sometime in 2008. He lives on a small lake outside Los Angeles with his two sons and his wife Jessica, who, it should be noted, is always right.
TRANSLATION: He, like many of the millionaires, works both sides of the street, and his house is probably bigger than the lake.
And NRO admits:
— Warren Bell has been a sitcom writer and producer and a member of the WGA for 18 years. He is currently executive producer of ABC’s According to Jim, which will return to the air sometime in 2008. He lives on a small lake outside Los Angeles with his two sons and his wife Jessica, who, it should be noted, is always right.
TRANSLATION: He, like many of the millionaires, works both sides of the street, and his house is probably bigger than the lake.
Elsewhere in news of the AWFUL TRAGEDY that is the Millionaires' strike, politicos fret because they can't sell themselves:
Campaigns, once wary of self-mocking have come to accept late-night shows as part of the process, says Frank Donatelli, a longtime GOP consultant who is working for Republican contender John McCain.
"The rite of passage is when a political figure breaks in to popular culture," Donatelli said. "And that normally happens when you become the butt - or the subject - of somebody's jokes on the 'Letterman' show or the 'Leno' show or 'Saturday Night Live.' "
TRANSLATION: Frank's on BOOBS McKEATING's ear every day screaming, "YOU GOTTA BE ON IMUS EVERY @#$%&* DAY!!!!!"
Campaigns, once wary of self-mocking have come to accept late-night shows as part of the process, says Frank Donatelli, a longtime GOP consultant who is working for Republican contender John McCain.
"The rite of passage is when a political figure breaks in to popular culture," Donatelli said. "And that normally happens when you become the butt - or the subject - of somebody's jokes on the 'Letterman' show or the 'Leno' show or 'Saturday Night Live.' "
TRANSLATION: Frank's on BOOBS McKEATING's ear every day screaming, "YOU GOTTA BE ON IMUS EVERY @#$%&* DAY!!!!!"
Speaking of the Fantasy and Profanity League we have mentioned the recording bans of the forties. If they were similar in one way -- the unions' demands for income from "new technologies" -- they were vastly different otherwise. As the first recording ban ended the record industry saw a plethora of income streams that enormously profited it. Capitol and Decca settled early (around October of 1943); the former promptly signed the King Cole Trio, who became its hottest act; the latter rushed the cast album of Oklahoma! into print and created a new platform for pop music. By '45 the new MGM Records started issuing soundtracks. Many independent labels transformed the jazz and blues business. Country music boomed. During the second recording ban came the Ed Murrow-Fred Friendly collaboration I Can Hear It Now, the first best-selling spoken-word album and progenitor of the audio book. Then came the two formats that radically changed the recording trade: the LP, which freed the classics from the record changer's tyranny and brought forth the concept album, and soon allowed for mail-order record retailing; and the 45, which bolstered the singles trade. Of course recorded music never died off even during the worst of the bans; it had radio to serve as a reminder and sent V-Discs to soldiers. The music biz' now-forgotten labor troubles helped clear the way for an unprecedented business prosperity that only recently came to a well-deserved end (although its artistic prosperity died out long before).
Now consider today's situation. After over a century in business THE CONSPIRACY and its heirs and assigns face exhaustion. Of course no one will say this as too many in the rag trade spend their every column looking for work there. Indeed they share one crucial trait with the recorded...SOUND biz: they no longer oversee a mass medium, having concentrated their attention on the stupid and the teens. Take away the "hit" properties and you hardly have an audience -- the same blight facing the recorded...SOUND trade. With recorded music the new technologies of the forties made distribution easier; today's technology threatens a platform for everyone, which in practice has already become a platform for no one. And with niche programming today's small audiences will only get smaller. Rather than make the best product possible THE CONSPIRACY is looking for the best platforms possible, completely oblivious that with excellence platform doesn't matter. And because new-oldmedia may defy profits the biz is emphasizing costs; never mind it helped bring on the problem by paying millions to the scribblers who now plead poverty. The Millionaires' Strike will be difficult to solve precisely because, unlike with the record biz of the forties, technology no longer aids the moguls, it hinders them -- and not so coincidentally, except in the spreadsheets and for the synergies, because show-biz' best days are distantly behind it.
(Slightly revised 5/9/2009)
Now consider today's situation. After over a century in business THE CONSPIRACY and its heirs and assigns face exhaustion. Of course no one will say this as too many in the rag trade spend their every column looking for work there. Indeed they share one crucial trait with the recorded...SOUND biz: they no longer oversee a mass medium, having concentrated their attention on the stupid and the teens. Take away the "hit" properties and you hardly have an audience -- the same blight facing the recorded...SOUND trade. With recorded music the new technologies of the forties made distribution easier; today's technology threatens a platform for everyone, which in practice has already become a platform for no one. And with niche programming today's small audiences will only get smaller. Rather than make the best product possible THE CONSPIRACY is looking for the best platforms possible, completely oblivious that with excellence platform doesn't matter. And because new-oldmedia may defy profits the biz is emphasizing costs; never mind it helped bring on the problem by paying millions to the scribblers who now plead poverty. The Millionaires' Strike will be difficult to solve precisely because, unlike with the record biz of the forties, technology no longer aids the moguls, it hinders them -- and not so coincidentally, except in the spreadsheets and for the synergies, because show-biz' best days are distantly behind it.
(Slightly revised 5/9/2009)
EXCELLENT!
Writers’ Talks Collapse Amid Acrimony
STRIKE! STRIKE ! Strike long, strike hard, strike acrimoniously! Strike until you've so broken the industry we don't have to put up with your rotten movies and worse television! March into HELL for a -- DEVILISH cause!
Writers’ Talks Collapse Amid Acrimony
STRIKE! STRIKE ! Strike long, strike hard, strike acrimoniously! Strike until you've so broken the industry we don't have to put up with your rotten movies and worse television! March into HELL for a -- DEVILISH cause!
Friday, December 07, 2007
If MR. SPAMALOT's alleged prospective Os-CAR® winner flubs the dub at the BEEEEEEEEE-OH it will be for two words: WILSON and WAR.
Let us not forget ol' SPAM directed the filmization of ANONYMOUS'S NOVEL, which was a epochal smash hit.
Let us not forget ol' SPAM directed the filmization of ANONYMOUS'S NOVEL, which was a epochal smash hit.
Karlheinz Stockhausen, whose membership in the most avant of the "avant-garde" allowed him to make the musical equivalent of banging on the piano (and other instruments) with impunity, and who further solidified his reputation with the tone-deaf by calling 9/11 a work of art, has died. RIP.
Show-Biz Insider Snicker of the Day, from our favorite PR man Rog, about yet another recorded-SOUND outfit going under -- Columbia Records:
Rick Rubin, who’s being paid millions and has done nothing so far, gets to stay. The last we heard about Rick he was taking Lynn Hirschberg around in Los Angeles shopping for expensive new office space. No word on whether he found it. When he does, the joke goes, there will be no one left to sit in it. [Link added]
And what's a good recorded-SOUND outfit without publicity people?
The effective end of the PR department has already been felt. This week, I tried to get a copy of Wyclef Jean’s excellent new "Carnival II" album for review. Since no one is left, I simply downloaded it from a Russian Web site. So much for that.
Of course, given the genius from the recorded-SOUND biz these days, maybe it's best Sony BMG keep quiet.
Rick Rubin, who’s being paid millions and has done nothing so far, gets to stay. The last we heard about Rick he was taking Lynn Hirschberg around in Los Angeles shopping for expensive new office space. No word on whether he found it. When he does, the joke goes, there will be no one left to sit in it. [Link added]
And what's a good recorded-SOUND outfit without publicity people?
The effective end of the PR department has already been felt. This week, I tried to get a copy of Wyclef Jean’s excellent new "Carnival II" album for review. Since no one is left, I simply downloaded it from a Russian Web site. So much for that.
Of course, given the genius from the recorded-SOUND biz these days, maybe it's best Sony BMG keep quiet.
NewsMAX!!!!! gets it right, for once:
Obama Needs Stadium for Oprah [Emphasis added]
Who's running for president?
Obama Needs Stadium for Oprah [Emphasis added]
Who's running for president?
Mozilla expands in China, inks agreement with Baidu
Okay -- what can Mozilla do to help stifle free expression?
Okay -- what can Mozilla do to help stifle free expression?
In addition, four Episcopal bishops have left the denomination for the Roman Catholic Church, one of whom, the Rt. Rev. Jeffrey Steenson of the Diocese of the Rio Grande in New Mexico, was received into the Catholic faith last weekend at St. Mary Major Church in Rome. Former Boston Archbishop Bernard C. Law conducted the ceremony.
Wouldn't this undercut his moral authority a little?
Wouldn't this undercut his moral authority a little?
Mitt made a GREAT SPEECH, Mitt BOMBED -- we can trust pundits no more than ad-blurbists.
"Hey, hey, ho, ho -- HBO, show us the dough!!!!!" [Overemphasis added]
And then give some of it back to the subscribers.
And then give some of it back to the subscribers.
Jonny Hairshirt is up to something. But such is the career of the greatest media critic this side of Howie Hairshirt that we must say he's up to something. He's written a breast beater saying news hacks shouldn't identify publicity-seeking mass killers. I guess we question this guy because the biz uses ombudspoops and the hairshirt-wearers as a means of justifying its every last piece of tripe. Moreover we suspect some in the trade believe that if Jonny Hairshirt says it it can't possibly be right. For that reason we must engage in the screwy notion of suspecting a man is wrong even when he's right, and unfortunately Jonny has a point which is neutered because of him.
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
The delinquencies spread across all types of mortgages, including higher-income homeowners, the group said.
GEKKO KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!
GEKKO KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!
Attorneys for "Desperate Housewives" star Teri Hatcher say there's no way to gloss over it - the allegations that she promoted a rival lip plumping product are false.
We would say "oh the humanity!" but we're tired of it even more than anyone else.
And where would we be without the courageous truth tellers of the ASSPress?
We would say "oh the humanity!" but we're tired of it even more than anyone else.
And where would we be without the courageous truth tellers of the ASSPress?
Here is a way to save book reviewing: to rave a book so fatuously that someone has to come and knock it down.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
ALL HAIL THE KING! ALL HAIL KING JAMES!
Why do the same people who must molest us with their First Amendment stratagems always elect KINGS to rule themselves?
Why do the same people who must molest us with their First Amendment stratagems always elect KINGS to rule themselves?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
And further from Cheapie Marketwatch:
Fed totes up housing woes
$128 bln equity down drain
Yeah but think of how much STOCKS have gone up!
Fed totes up housing woes
$128 bln equity down drain
Yeah but think of how much STOCKS have gone up!
The Internet's ability to speed the dissemination of information has worked equally well with both well-supported and questionable information. A study finds that anti-immunization videos are easy to find on YouTube, and that they are higher-rated and more frequently watched than ones that contain accurate information. [Home-page squib]
1. The Internet's middle name is CRANK. 2. What a delicious irony -- the huge diamond in the center of science's tiara is a breeding ground for morons.
1. The Internet's middle name is CRANK. 2. What a delicious irony -- the huge diamond in the center of science's tiara is a breeding ground for morons.
Hey Cheapie Marketwatch CEO of the Year JIM SKINNER! I got an idea from FUN TIMES® with RONALD McDONALD®:
Let's go to...RUSSIA!
WOW, that's OLD! Saint Basil's Cathedral was finished in 1561. That makes it 446 years old!
Well we figure in another 446 years the MICK will be what, about 500 YEARS OLD, and it'll be the exact same company then as now, selling fifth-rate slop at first-rate margins! Anybody see a QUINTILLION-DOLLAR COMPANY?
When I grow up I want to be an architect. I love unique buildings, which is why I want to go to Moscow in Russia. They have some awesome buildings there. My favorite is Saint Basil's Cathedral [great minds think alike! -- ED], I [SIC] like the colors and shapes -- it looks magical!
Jonathan, age 10
Well JIM SKINNER must be a pretty good architect himself! We'd bet he's been in the Kremlin dozens of times to beg Belly Kisser to let him build thousands more MICKS from Moscow to Siberia! All we know is Jim, we hope Belly Kisser's been obliging -- and that OIL keeps going upupUP!
Oh and CEO of the Year -- don't forget to pay your TAXES! Otherwise you'll get an F on your Belly Kisser report card!
A stale Double Quarter Pounder and non-working credit-card terminals will do this to you.
If RASPUTIN could WRITE like Rasputin, this would be worth $3 million. He can't write like Rasputin. It won't be worth it.
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
Every last bit of campaign news has become a new test of tiresome. We are tired of hearing about Mitt's religion for so many reasons. To be sure Mormonism is slightly flaky, and sometimes suggests less a faith than some sort of cloning apparatus, but haven't we had people of various flaky faiths in public office before? Something called "Deism" was Jeff's idea of religion, and that didn't stop FDR from putting him on Mt. Rushmore. The time will come when one of EDNA's friends will be president. All this blather about religion further makes us realize a political leader is nothing without his platitudes, and platitudes are nothing without a firm foundation in some sort of false ecumenical Frank Capra notion of religion that passes for worship of God these days.
...the most significant event in popular-music history in the past quarter-century....
IF WE'RE GOING TO PLAGIARIZE SOMEBODY CAN'T WE BE A BIT MORE SUBTLE?
IF WE'RE GOING TO PLAGIARIZE SOMEBODY CAN'T WE BE A BIT MORE SUBTLE?
Another BRILLIANT marketing ploy: Mickey D's prints ads on report cards!
This is another facet of RENDELLISM: that advertising support of government endeavors is justified because it "holds down costs." This is like the excuse for lotteries. When government gets a hold of more money, it always manages to spend it.
This is another facet of RENDELLISM: that advertising support of government endeavors is justified because it "holds down costs." This is like the excuse for lotteries. When government gets a hold of more money, it always manages to spend it.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
And among the very reassuring reasons why we will NOT have a recession next year:
The loss of 3 million manufacturing jobs early this decade means there is little room to cut more positions.
The loss of 3 million manufacturing jobs early this decade means there is little room to cut more positions.
And in more proof of GEKKO's unquestionable belief that boxes, boxes and more boxes will make the economy go swifter, higher, stronger:
Microsoft Corp. quickly shut down Santa Claus' Web privileges after it found out the automated elf it created for kids to instant message with was talking naughty, not nice....
Microsoft spokesman Adam Sohn said the company's engineers tried to clean up Santa's vocabulary, but even after making changes to the software, the company wasn't comfortable keeping him online.
"It's not like if you say, 'Hello Santa,' he's going to throw inappropriate stuff at you," said Sohn.
Sohn said Santa's lewd comment was sparked by someone "pushing this thing to make it do things it wasn't supposed to do."
Like GEKKO pushing the economy?
Sorry to obsess over that imbecile, but he's the sort who could have tragedy all around him and he'd break out in a smug grin because his damned stocks went up.
Microsoft Corp. quickly shut down Santa Claus' Web privileges after it found out the automated elf it created for kids to instant message with was talking naughty, not nice....
Microsoft spokesman Adam Sohn said the company's engineers tried to clean up Santa's vocabulary, but even after making changes to the software, the company wasn't comfortable keeping him online.
"It's not like if you say, 'Hello Santa,' he's going to throw inappropriate stuff at you," said Sohn.
Sohn said Santa's lewd comment was sparked by someone "pushing this thing to make it do things it wasn't supposed to do."
Like GEKKO pushing the economy?
Sorry to obsess over that imbecile, but he's the sort who could have tragedy all around him and he'd break out in a smug grin because his damned stocks went up.
Calamities like this are now so common we don't even hear the usual belch about gun control anymore. We accept them now as a kind of typhoid or TB, realizing that our culture isn't up to the task of controlling it, unlike typhoid or TB.
Of course the idiot GEKKO "GRASSO" KUDLOW had to choose TODAY to say we're in AN AGE OF PERMANENT PROSPERITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! again, presumably after this latest outbreak of smallpox with guns; combined with such calamities, he makes us wonder why God puts up with us.
Incidentally, we still remember the MASSACRE RALLY, when the idiot GEKKO and his friends idiotically sent stocks into TulipLand before the non-bust in the housing biz and the non-problem with the credit markets mysteriously brought them down, which makes us wonder what sort of a man GEKKO would be if he didn't have MONEY.
Of course the idiot GEKKO "GRASSO" KUDLOW had to choose TODAY to say we're in AN AGE OF PERMANENT PROSPERITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! again, presumably after this latest outbreak of smallpox with guns; combined with such calamities, he makes us wonder why God puts up with us.
Incidentally, we still remember the MASSACRE RALLY, when the idiot GEKKO and his friends idiotically sent stocks into TulipLand before the non-bust in the housing biz and the non-problem with the credit markets mysteriously brought them down, which makes us wonder what sort of a man GEKKO would be if he didn't have MONEY.
I wonder if I'm alone in suddenly thinking the Web a hundred-million-outlet version of C-SPAN. I was the proverbial C-SPAN Junkie -- heck I'd have joined the Brian Lamb Fan Club -- but with time I found I couldn't take it (and not through C-SPAN's fault) because it is not enough for the starring Congresspoops to be craven frauds, they must be craven frauds with twisted tongues, compounding the exasperations. And I got tired of the constant championships in verbal head-butting. How many would willingly give up on the Web as all it delivers is spam, PR0N, warmed-over "news" -- and the art of verbal head-butting delivered to painful perfection?
We understand why the continuing saga of "Bonnie and Clyde" exerts such endless fascination. They are, after all, the sexy types EDDIE!!!!! has been trying to lure to our city for years, to help create all those waiter and janitor and dishwasher jobs for the 21st-century economy. Despite their -- slight dishonesty they personify all the young upscale Center City clones with their look-alike hipness and their sound-alike lives, who seem to spend so much of their time socializing and restauranting you begin to wonder if they ever work. More to the point, they signal the rot in their culture, these false fronts of a city that's forever screaming it's coming back, whose idea of back is to plop down more cubic-zirconia condos and boutiques when the town's eighty-percent ghetto, and likely to stay that way.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Here's one reason the moguls may prolong the Millionaires' Strike (we hope): politicos. They'll advertise on anything and everything -- just like The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers, but more so. Their advertising knows no limits, and no scabbing. E'REWAY INHAY ETHAY ONEYMAY!
Winehouse Snapped Barefoot in the Street
And "respectable" outfits like the ASSPress are part of the problem too.
And "respectable" outfits like the ASSPress are part of the problem too.
If we weren't talking supermillionaires we'd almost sympathize with Jennifer. It isn't her fault she gets the kind of exposure MM got in her day, and which clearly she doesn't deserve. True the studios were in control then, and no one is now, meaning when vaguely attractive (or in some cases unattractive) actresses wear outfits they shouldn't be wearing, the whole world knows it. And there's no place for Avedon even if he existed, which might deflect the paparazzi; besides modern photography is vastly unforgiving. That said, there'd be no market for such unflattering photos if fatuous editors lacked the desire to run them, and especially if they hadn't coached their readers to demand every last idiotic factoid about uninteresting people who happen to be overexposed, in more ways than one.
The idiot publicityholic fraud named Savage pulls another stunt, this one re Muslims, which gets the CSMonitor in a beet-red mood. It is not enough for our media police state to have a speech code; it must fulminate because not every PC race or religious group is fully subject to its draconian ways. Don't worry guys, you have the reach and the revenues, and you'll work it out.
Jerry Flint says it will take a very long time for our domestic automakers to regain market share. With their exquisite training of Americans to avoid their product it's hard to argue with him. And the sad thing is (as he says) we're coming back. But because we're sour at all big American business it's hard to get excited.
Good: THE CONSPIRACY's DVD revenue stream is drying up!
And prices are falling, as well they might, given how so much of media is overpriced to begin with.
And prices are falling, as well they might, given how so much of media is overpriced to begin with.
Irritating: This BizWeek piece says the cost of controlling global warming could be $20 trillion (The U. S. Chamber of Commerce) or "a few billion" (McKINSEY & CO!!!!!). When we're talking such numbers we're talking in giggles.
Indeed below the link on the BizWeek front page:
Plus: Tricks in the Climate Debate?
Nothing but, from all angles.
Indeed below the link on the BizWeek front page:
Plus: Tricks in the Climate Debate?
Nothing but, from all angles.
Monday, December 03, 2007
It is exceedingly unlikely, for all the trillions of words being slathered on them, and the "populist" fan clubs rising at their feet, that we will hear of Gov. Huckabee or RON PAUL!!!!! in August -- or ever again afterward, for that matter. Just as politics is now marketing, so the marketing must create its fads, and these two men are no more serious than a hula hoop.
CRIME OF THE WEEK:
STOYSTOWN, Pa. (AP) -- Police said a Somerset County man fled a traffic stop, went home, shaved his mustache and changed his clothes, and reported the truck he was driving as stolen.
STOYSTOWN, Pa. (AP) -- Police said a Somerset County man fled a traffic stop, went home, shaved his mustache and changed his clothes, and reported the truck he was driving as stolen.
Gibson shows new self-tuning guitar
Why didn't somebody think of that before?
Perhaps because when someone thought of it before it didn't work.
And now that somebody's thought of it it probably still won't work.
Why didn't somebody think of that before?
Perhaps because when someone thought of it before it didn't work.
And now that somebody's thought of it it probably still won't work.
BREAKING NEWS: Bowie Kuhn and Walter O'Malley elected to Baseball Hall of Fame.
Is there any way we can get these cable news networks to tone down THEIR Web-site NEWS ALERTS!!!!!?
Fewer people buying CDs, CHEAP CHANNEL repeating songs more than ever....
Nope, no connection.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Nope, no connection.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Drunken Slob returns with a facelift, a plagiarist, two self-important senators and two professional loudmouths.
With any luck this is a long goodbye, which can't be short enough.
With any luck this is a long goodbye, which can't be short enough.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Dubya emceeing the latest winners of the People's Choice -- pardon, the Kennedy Center HHonors:
Brian? I'm an afisha, aficka, I'm a real fan of surfer music. Yep, that's one thing ya learn about a president, he's human. "Walk, Don't Run", ya know, da da da daaaaaaaa da da daaaaaaa da da daaaaaaaaa daaaaaaaaaa...of course people say I've been surfing too long without a helmet, or surfboard, or whatever ya surf with. Ya know Dana Rohrabacher?
Marty, Taxi Driver's one of the greatest movies of all time. It really is. Course I don't know that I've seen it but if Steve here says it's great then it must be. Right? Money talks, ya know. Course I've heard ya made some sort of anti-religious picture. Ya didn't? Well I'm glad to hear that; one thing we don't want in America, intolerance.
Steve? Loved those pratfalls you did on Saturday Night Live. Course that was before I really had respect, true respect for Gerry.
Diana? Ya know what my favorite, uh, rhythm, er, soul record is? "The Loco-Motion."
Mr. Fleisher? Nice meetin' ya! Don't know I'd ever heard of you before but -- wait a second, yes I have! You made those Popeye cartoons! No relation? You play the piano? With your left hand? That ought putya in the Guinness Book or somethin'. Ya know "Blueberry Hill"? Fats Domino did it. Love to see ya play that with your left hand.
We don't say Dubya would say such things; then again, we don't say he wouldn't.
Brian? I'm an afisha, aficka, I'm a real fan of surfer music. Yep, that's one thing ya learn about a president, he's human. "Walk, Don't Run", ya know, da da da daaaaaaaa da da daaaaaaa da da daaaaaaaaa daaaaaaaaaa...of course people say I've been surfing too long without a helmet, or surfboard, or whatever ya surf with. Ya know Dana Rohrabacher?
Marty, Taxi Driver's one of the greatest movies of all time. It really is. Course I don't know that I've seen it but if Steve here says it's great then it must be. Right? Money talks, ya know. Course I've heard ya made some sort of anti-religious picture. Ya didn't? Well I'm glad to hear that; one thing we don't want in America, intolerance.
Steve? Loved those pratfalls you did on Saturday Night Live. Course that was before I really had respect, true respect for Gerry.
Diana? Ya know what my favorite, uh, rhythm, er, soul record is? "The Loco-Motion."
Mr. Fleisher? Nice meetin' ya! Don't know I'd ever heard of you before but -- wait a second, yes I have! You made those Popeye cartoons! No relation? You play the piano? With your left hand? That ought putya in the Guinness Book or somethin'. Ya know "Blueberry Hill"? Fats Domino did it. Love to see ya play that with your left hand.
We don't say Dubya would say such things; then again, we don't say he wouldn't.
Muslims and Christians recently heaved mutual platitudes at one another, which we never take seriously as the oratory of religion has become the equivalent of an interfaith Hallmark card, designed to make the recipient feel good while saying nothing. If, as this author alleges, the Christian side is giving the store away, it is because most religious bureaucrats are nothing more than glorified social-service types with an especially oily manner. Whether the Muslims are prevaricating is not clear, given the Machiavelli at the root of Islamism, but perhaps their side is just demonstrating it can be every bit as good at rendering religious worship meaningless by making it a battle of who can be the wordiest.
What is the point of this tripe, Will? To create the impression Cuba is a democratic state?
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (Fidel division) to WILL!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (Fidel division) to WILL!
We would like to believe Hugoland and BellyKisserdom are in trouble; the problem is no one's made oil obsolete yet.
The Supermanning of America gathers pace at the SuperIvies, where superstudents and superscientists and superendowments create bigger and stronger races of SuperDilberts to create superstrength supermedicine and supertechnology. We'd wager if the SuperIvies had been in Nazi Germany Hitler would not have objected. To us they sound like a improved form of effete snobbery, the kind of technocratic utopias that will unleash so many wonders we'll need bigger and stronger Supermen to clean up their mess. We note that three of the SuperIvies are surrounded by ghettoes, which give them vast realms for wiping out blight -- or experimenting on it.
Although before the SuperIvies rule 23 universes they'll likely collapse under the weight of their own hubris -- or spending; when MIT invited STARCHITECT to its campus it merely granted itself the right to sue him.
Although before the SuperIvies rule 23 universes they'll likely collapse under the weight of their own hubris -- or spending; when MIT invited STARCHITECT to its campus it merely granted itself the right to sue him.
SLUMP TIME AGAIN!
If BEEEE-OOOOH MOJO is correct attendance for this HISTORIC YEAR is VIRTUALLY FLAT -- which won't prevent PAUL DRECK from treating the ASSPress like a neighborhood barkeep, or the barkeep from transcribing his every word.
If BEEEE-OOOOH MOJO is correct attendance for this HISTORIC YEAR is VIRTUALLY FLAT -- which won't prevent PAUL DRECK from treating the ASSPress like a neighborhood barkeep, or the barkeep from transcribing his every word.
Now the videogame biz gets to be like the rest of entertainment, buying and merging, and putting out the worst junk possible -- although that last bit goes without saying.
And of course LALA gets the story wrong:
Vivendi, a French water company.... [SECOND GRAF]
The "French water company" has been out of that business for years. But what do you have to know when you're reporting on SHOW-BIZ?
And of course LALA gets the story wrong:
Vivendi, a French water company.... [SECOND GRAF]
The "French water company" has been out of that business for years. But what do you have to know when you're reporting on SHOW-BIZ?