Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Posted
9:45 PM
by Gene
...he said, preparing to stare lovingly in the mirror, checking the top of his head for leaks.
Posted
6:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:08 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:16 PM
by Gene
Or: SECOND AND GOAL.
Posted
11:16 AM
by Gene
Now the hacks get to smile in TWO countries!
Posted
10:39 AM
by Gene
Unlike with their masterworks, which they usually leave for US to clean up. "We are in the process of being left behind," he added, noting that the AMPTP has made the same arguments in the past over videocassettes, DVDs, cable and reality TV. That assertion prompted many in the crowd to chant, "Bullshit" in unison for the next half minute. What's the difference between working and not working except they didn't get paid for it?
Posted
8:03 AM
by Gene
The Laugher Curve? Bucking conservative orthodoxy, two UC, Berkeley economics professors suggest in a new study that lower taxes do not in fact curb government spending. Christina D. Romer and David H. Romer write that the big federal tax cuts in 1948, 1964, 1981, 2001 and 2003 tended to be followed by spending increases and, within a few years, tax increases. They call their findings consistent with the "shared fiscal irresponsibility" theory, which holds that neither tax-cutters nor spenders care about deficits. Noteworthy conclusion: "No evidence of a starve the beast effect." --W.P.B. HMMMM.
Posted
7:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:49 AM
by Gene
Or as somebody named Pyle at the ASSPRESS says: ...the country's literary conscience and provocateur.... ...which is saying the same thing I said in code words, which is why an outfit like the CLATCH has gone from 75 to 15. P. S. When the TWXSTERS initally posted the news on a banner they said his literary agent announced it. Not likely; that would have been the late fraud Scott Meredith, the perfect rep for a crank. P. P. S. at 5:10 P.M. A NEW! member of PAJAMASMEDIA (and thus an honorary VOLOKHHEAD) uses 5,319 WORDS to say what I said in 23, and his radical shtick becomes tiresome after the second graf -- but that's what you need to be a SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER. (Via Arts & Letters Daily, which links to too many such effusions) P. P. P. S. ...Its author, the man to whom the Lord spoke from out of the doughnut.... Not wanting to further research why so many of the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS have a word addiction we note this TNR essay from Leon Wieseltier, published five days ago; that line is far more memorable than 5,319 WORDS, and we've no doubt none of Mr. Kimball's 5,319 WORDS are equally such. Friday, November 09, 2007
Posted
9:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:59 AM
by Gene
Business GENIUS!
Posted
8:19 AM
by Gene
Some of those gags, many of which are lifted from the movie, are pretty funny. (O.K., let’s be honest: I laughed exactly three times.) Don't get us wrong -- given the other not-so-rave reviews this is...well, not a BOMB, but not a great big capital-H hit either. We suspect the ad-blurbists are no so much downplaying this masterwork as they up-played the last one. And that show, despite hosannahs worthy of the Messiah coming, has all but vanished from the landscape. Now we understand why ELVIS! Sillerman's keeping the B. O. secret. Nonetheless we remember how Monty Python's Blazing Saddles is going and going, and the Branson East clientele is nothing if not indiscriminate. Still, we wonder if they're that indiscriminate.
Posted
8:15 AM
by Gene
Con-SER-va-tives all over America say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!! (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
8:14 AM
by Gene
Exasperating that this must come after only five days of mourning. (Via MediaBistro) Thursday, November 08, 2007
Posted
3:21 PM
by Gene
Is that anywhere near the amount of free face time NYC eatery and the Guinness Book have gotten for this publicity? A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO ASSPRESS!
Posted
1:53 PM
by Gene
We think we know why the hacks are agitated: they fear if this lasts much longer they'll suffer too -- as well they should, being part of the show-biz industrial complex with their endless plugs and fawning and synergy. They may not be members of the union but they're in the brotherhood -- which is why we should hold them all in contempt, and not least for their superiority over mere people. (Via MediaBistro)
Posted
1:48 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
THE NEW YORK TIMES CALLS TOBACCO COMPANIES "SHAMELESS" FOR NOT LYING DOWN AND ALLOWING THEMSELVES TO BE LOOTED BY THE STATE OF OREGON!!!!!!!!!! [Free-enterprise-is-always-good overemphasis added] SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU.
Posted
10:59 AM
by Gene
Bankruptcy Law Backfires on Banks as Foreclosures Offset Gains HARDY HAR HAR!
Posted
10:01 AM
by Gene
Oh, no! Does it have to be that time of year again?
Posted
9:34 AM
by Gene
So that's why he's been busy raising money!
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
News Corp. Earnings Off 13% -- But Dow Jones Deal Still On It means GREG's still daydreaming.
Posted
8:34 AM
by Gene
(Via ArtsJournal)
Posted
8:28 AM
by Gene
"It's a hugely unpopular war, and there's a staggering amount of depressing coverage," says producer Steven Bochco. Bochco's 2005 TV series "Over There," about a platoon of soldiers fighting in Iraq, lasted just one season. "TV is fully saturated with this war," he adds, "and I don't know if you can do a serious drama about this war and locate any angle that would overcome the negativity about it." It would appear Steve and company have located their own angle: obtuse. Adds Dennis Rice, president of worldwide marketing at United Artists, which is releasing "Lions for Lambs": "Anytime you believe a movie is going to be the same story as what you get for free on CNN 24 hours a day, people will ask, 'Why spend $10 to go see that?'" WILL YOU IDIOTS STOP SAYING YOU'RE SORRY FOR ALL THE DOGGIE-DOO YOU SMILINGLY DISCHARGE?!?
Posted
6:53 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:50 AM
by Gene
As I've watched Clinton perform over the past year, it has been hard not to admire the sheer effort she's made — to know the issues, to become a more effective speaker on the stump, to be more personable, to loosen up a little. It is also hard not to admire the sheer, pellucid quality of her intelligence. She has already proved herself an indefatigable campaigner and a deft debater, with a personal confidence that Bill — who always seemed desperate for approval — never had. Rather than collapse under the pressure of what promises to be a tense and thrilling campaign, she seems more likely to break free from the cocoon of her stereotype and emerge from the shadow of her husband's brilliance. And how will She let you down, A?
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
How about Frank Rich? He's good at angry -- and comedy. Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Posted
7:12 PM
by Gene
(Via NRO's Phi Beta Cons)
Posted
7:04 PM
by Gene
See, here's the fun part: these bad assets are but a fraction of the financial world's total; but once the Wall Street Casino gets in its adrenaline-pumping panic mode it can turn any number of billions into pennies.
Posted
6:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Barack Obama complained on Wednesday about an Internet photo that claims the Democratic presidential candidate didn't hold his hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance. "This is so irritating," Obama said when asked about the photo in Muscatine, Iowa. You can say THAT again.
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
Had it been the SLICKSTER we could have used a cute pun that involves what people do with hammers, but given it isn't the SLICKSTER we can avoid the double entendre.
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
Ohhhh, it's for the handicapped. My thought still stands.
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
P. S. at 7:40 p.m. As we were saying about preordained candidates....
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:01 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:58 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:52 AM
by Gene
David Mamet found an immediate outlet for his creativity during the Hollywood writers strike. In a cartoon published Tuesday on the op-ed page of the Los Angeles Times, Mamet played the labor dispute for laughs, appearing to lampoon Writers Guild of America strikers. The cartoon, drawn in a rough scribble, shows two men, each wearing a "WGA on Strike" button. One, with sunglasses and a palm tree-decorated shirt, says: "Whaddaya think, will we end up on the breadline?" "I don't touch carbohydrates," the other cartoon figure responds. This industry cannot stop talking to itself -- and its psychotic jabber is starting to infuriate us. Maybe people will grow so annoyed at all the mourning talk the sides will settle. We doubt it -- and we don't want them to.
Posted
9:17 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:12 AM
by Gene
Strike impacting film marketing Latenight reruns mean stars can't plug movies That "impacting" must have caused Sime Silverman to lay an egg in his grave. Worries have risen that without reviving the WGA talks, the scribes' work stoppage could easily bleed into the middle of next year. That sounds too optimistic.
Posted
9:01 AM
by Gene
(Also via MediaBistro) Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Posted
8:44 PM
by Gene
Though we'd like to do more, there's ultimately only so much we can do to punish people for having ideologies we don't approve of. Lavishing attention on every bigot and provocateur is counterproductive. The technique of exposing hatred to sunlight to kill the germs simply doesn't work, especially in the case of celebrities who can easily replace the fans who abhor their hatred with fans who secretly applaud it. So what will BIGMEDIA and its new friend BIGINTERNET do? Natch: turn into an even BIGGER petri dish to grow MORE GERMS.
Posted
8:06 PM
by Gene
I think we've heard this song before.
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:55 PM
by Gene
"I don't like instant replay because I don't like all the delays." Yeah -- a five-hour nine inning game, complete with ten minute breaks. You've done pretty well delaying the game, SELIG.
Posted
2:28 PM
by Gene
![]() We could have FORESEEN something like this would happen: The Massachusetts Institute of Technology is suing renowned architect Frank Gehry, alleging there are serious design flaws in the Stata Center, a building celebrated for its unconventional walls and radical angles. The school alleges the center, completed in spring 2004, has persistent leaks, drainage problems and mold growing on its brick exterior. It says accumulations of snow and ice have fallen dangerously from window boxes and other areas of its roofs, blocking emergency exits and causing damage. What did these eggheads expect with unconventional walls and radical angles? And it doesn't have the advantage of being good-looking. Nope -- we FORESAW something like this would happen: Anyone want to guess which comes first -- MIT folks demanding this be torn down, or the thing having to be demolished because it won't stand up? Oh well, better to be right than popular. P. S. at 5:10 p.m. HEAVY THINKING in PINCHDOM: Robert Campbell, an architect who is a critic for the Globe, said it is inevitable that there will be problems in any unconventional building like the Stata Center, which has roofs colliding at different, odd angles. "It looks like something out of a Disney cartoon," Campbell said. Like THE THREE LITTLE PIGS?
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
I guess this means holding off on saving the world for awhile.
Posted
9:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:13 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:10 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
“It happened naturally,” Phil Griffin, a senior vice president of NBC News who is the executive in charge of MSNBC, said Friday, referring specifically to the channel’s passion and point of view from 7 to 10 p.m. “There isn’t a dogma we’re putting through. There is a ‘Go for it.’” Fox News consistently denies any political bias in its programming.... WILL BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP?!?!? (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
8:50 AM
by Gene
It's still OUR spin! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!! The GRIM milestone.... [Overemphasis added] WILL YOU STOP LAUGHING? Monday, November 05, 2007
Posted
8:43 PM
by Gene
JACKASS.
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
We're sour too because something has recently interfered with our ability to get hits. So much of the Web's traffic patterns are just plain arbitrary.
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels is not quite the gaming equivalent of the missing reel of Orson Welles' The Magnificent Ambersons. But it's close. Was ever an opening sentence more tiresome? It's so arch it could cross a river. If the Web's emcees want to turn people away from their sites (and if Alexa.com is right -- a very hard to thing to know -- they've succeeded brilliantly in recent months) they'll hire more typists like Chris.
Posted
11:14 AM
by Gene
![]() The Cat that Swallowed the Canary; ![]() Thinking; ![]() Mr. Hyde. That does it for now. He's outta there anyways. (Photos restored 9/4/2010; period substituted for semi-colon in fourth graf. I don't believe the second photo is the same but it's from the Reut and will do.)
Posted
8:31 AM
by Gene
ERRRRRRRRRR....
Posted
8:17 AM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro)
Posted
6:53 AM
by Gene
When does the PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC of WAL-MART get ITS comeuppance? The Chinese government holds 157.92 billion PetroChina shares indirectly through the state-owned China National Petroleum Corp. PetroChina's 4-billion-share sale last week represents about 2.5% of the oil giant's total shares listed there. About two-thirds of the shares on Shanghai market are held by state entities and classed as inactive. Is this another variation of the dotcom bubble?
Posted
6:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:43 AM
by Gene
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Posted
7:01 PM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO CARYN!
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
With this sort of thinking maybe our guys have a little hope. Wiser thinking: It's sponsoring Meet the Press, the show that has the kind of audience least likely to be moved by such touchy-feely folderol. Don't these clowns remember how ADM-GE sponsored This Week in its Golden Age? They made one think the two companies had merged. (Which, given their despicable CEOs, they rather had.)
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
Plus she evidently ran out of money to feed her love slave grapes.
Posted
4:35 PM
by Gene
P. S. on Willie Stark, which has evidently been staged only twice in 26 years: The original production was dedicated to the American radio journalist Lowell Thomas. ...co-founder of the religious cult known as CapCities, who did more commercials than any other broadcast newsman until Paul HarVEH came along. How fitting. P. P. S. on 11/8: Thomas did a prerecorded cameo in the original production, whose music Donal Henahan praised as "a remarkably thin score, in a style that could be heard as a parody of Britten and Menotti. Possibly in an effort to achieve dramatic clarity, he has written a kind of strident, prosaic recitative that tears at the listener's patience - and, no doubt, sears the vocal cords." Could a Paper of Re-CORD reviewer write such nowadays without PINCH calling the police?
Posted
2:34 PM
by Gene
Information, on the other hand, is much less generally accessible than words. When the process of determining the facts of a situation has been intentionally corrupted by people in power (whether, let's say, Saddam Hussein had the ability to produce nuclear weapons, or whether a new drug has harmful side effects), there often is no corrective mechanism at hand. Intellectual honesty about the gathering and use of facts and [SIC] How Orwellian.
Posted
2:29 PM
by Gene
Call it a draw.
Posted
2:18 PM
by Gene
The aggregates, as Larry Kudlow points out, are looking very good. But people don’t live in the aggregate economy.
Posted
9:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:31 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:27 AM
by Gene
![]() A nation that produces G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEs and untold addicts is not a good nation.
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
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