Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

The popcorn-restaurant biz thinks it can lure patrons with lower prices. Unfortunately, THE CONSPIRACY already cheapened the movies.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

The other day (and we'd rather not have mentioned it) a woman jumped or fell to her death from the garage across from where we live, and already the obligatory small bushel of flowers has grown around a nearby tree. We remember how a young woman was beaten to death with a baseball bat near the Whole Foods on South Street while dozens of the famously tolerant denizens of that thoroughfare looked blankly on, and how flowers grew up on that site too, and withered away. Lady Di's brief return to the news summons the memory of England's grotesque fit of Oprahism, of how that broken empire became a veritable mortuary covered with flowers and bathos. The best way to remember an untimely death is to campaign for better policing, or open the checkbook and finance a suicide prevention center. Flowers rot, in several ways.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Today heading home from work we mused, has the Guinness Book ever done a check to see who's performed the world's longest [C]RAP? This is the perfect choice for an endurance contest; we can see [C]RAPPERS going for days, weeks without food and water, fueled only by their anger or their posing or whatever B. S. it is that propels the SHAKESPEARES of OUR TIME.

Anyone game?

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Just as many con-SER-va-tives can prove their skulls are tougher than the hardest steel to the onslaught of reason, so we've no doubt (to use Harry Truman's famous formulation) were the moon, the stars and all the planets to fall on Victor Navasky's head it would outlast them all.

As Juan Cole points out today on Informed Comment....

Fill in the blanks with your favorite pundit and Web site and anyone can play that simpleton's game.

Posted 2:08 PM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! makes nice with THE GREAT ALASKAN BOAR!!!!!

Sorry, RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, they already passed those fines. He tried, though.

Posted 1:34 PM by Gene

ShowBizData.com's reporting the SUPERDUPERMEGASMASH did $12.1 million yesterday. IF it does, say, $16 million today -- and $48 million over the weekend -- it will have declined close to a BOFFO TWO-THIRDS IN ONE WEEKEND!!!!!

THAT'S A SUPERDUPERMEGASMASH!!!!!

Posted 1:25 PM by Gene

And in more COURAGEOUS TRUTH-TELLING CRUSADING, USAOKAY!!!!! takes 1,782 EARTH-SHATTERING WORDS to inform us -- there are no "SERIOUS" FEMALE SINGERS!!!!! (Translation: there are no banshee-screamers with minimally good looks we can plug on the front page.)

For our money the last serious female singer was Peggy Lee.

Posted 1:07 PM by Gene

Courage in journalism today takes all the obvious, traditional forms -- reporting from a war zone or from a totalitarian country where a reporter's life or safety are issues. In Washington, D.C., where I work, it's a far less dramatic form of courage if a journalist stands up to a government official or a politician who he or she has reason to believe is not telling the truth or living up to his or her responsibilities.

But I believe a new kind of courage is needed in journalism in this age of instant news, instant analysis, and therefore instant opinions. It also happens to be a time of government by public relations and news stories based on prepared texts and prepared events or responses. Therefore, this is the time for reporters and editors, whether from the mainstream media or blogosphere, to pause before responding to the latest bulletin, prepared event, or the most recent statement or backgrounder, whether from the White House or the Democratic or Republican leadership on Capitol Hill....

At the beginning of the REAGAN ADMINISTRATION....

Shut up, Walter. We know what COURAGE means.

(Do I cite ROMY too much?)

Posted 1:02 PM by Gene

And in further Congressional joke telling, the Senile Chamber says, BUILD A WALL! -- and then it denies the money for it.

"We should build these walls; there's no question about it," he said. "But the real issue here is the offset that's being used, and the offset creates a Hobson's choice for almost everyone here."

Mr. Session's [true believer's SIC] amendment would have required across-the-board cuts to the rest of the Homeland Security appropriations bill, Mr. Gregg said, which would mean cutting 750 new border-patrol agents and 1,200 new detention beds for illegal aliens that he included in the bill.

To paraphrase Forrest Gump, brilliant is as brilliant does. Senators are not stupid.

Posted 12:05 PM by Gene

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law!

Congress: Buy energy-efficient servers now

And every time they make a law, it's a joke!

(Via Slashdot)

Posted 11:51 AM by Gene

Time for a little -- er, HEAD-BUTTING FRENCH DIPLOMACY:

Chirac says Israel wants to 'destroy Lebanon'

I've got the perfect flag for your nation, Jacque-ass:

Posted 11:46 AM by Gene

In Jerusalem a senior spokesman said that Israel was in "intensive contacts" with foreign governments to ensure that Iran and Syria "understand that the price they will pay internationally for supporting terrorism will be unbearably high".

We question whether those gloating troublemakers can ever understand that. Will our putative allies?

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

WE'RE LIVING IN A GOLDEN AGE OF TV ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Belo, you'd be doing the RIGHT THING.

P. S. An ad-blurbist is an "OUTSIDE VOICE"? Which side of outside do you mean?

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

More CRUSADING NEWS from the ASSociated Press:

Magazine Names Ed McMahon Top Sidekick

Posted 9:23 AM by Gene

We have not commented on the calamity in the Big Dig because so much of the activity is finger pointing, and one element of the finger pointing is to demand criminal prosecutions. We recall (and we think we've said this before) how Mike Royko, in one of his few weak moments, demanded criminal prosecutions after Challenger. All they do is put people in jail, and they don't address the rot at the core of disasters like this, a rot eating away at the public and private sectors, a mutually agreeable rot at that.

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

If the Neville Chamberlains of the EU think it's all Israel's fault, they can't be taken seriously. And if they can't be taken seriously on Israel they can't be taken seriously on Iran, and if they can't be taken seriously on Iran they can't be taken seriously on anything.

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

Oops:

Coors Chairman and Pitchman Arrested for DUI

Well, at least he uses the product.

Posted 5:11 PM by Gene

The comedian Red Buttons has died, which segues into this dimwitted typing:

Dan Gross | Stars landing at Borgata

LOCK UP your daughters.

Hollywood horndog Wilmer Valderrama is among celebs expected at the Borgata Saturday night when the Atlantic City hotel celebrates the opening of its nightclub mur.mur.

The Latin Lothario, his former "That 70's Show" co-star Danny Masterson, "American Pie" hottie Shannon Elizabeth, "Sopranos" daughter Jamie Lynn Sigler and MTV's Vanessa Minnillo are all scheduled to attend the festivities.

Masterson will DJ and Elizabeth will attend another mur.mur party Friday. Saturday night's music will be provided by DJ-AM, the on-again, off-again boyfriend of Nicole "Toothpick" Richie.

The parties start at 10 p.m. Cover is $20 for women and $30 for men.

I heard of Red Buttons. Who's heard of these? (Except for RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S GIRLFRIEND's ex-friend.) If these are stars I want to know who's on the B-list.

Posted 1:13 PM by Gene

What is the point of Kirk Kevorkian -- KERKORIAN's deal except two foreign automakers buy stakes in GM they'll probably end up selling anyway?

Posted 12:59 PM by Gene

Oh, NO!!!!! DISASTER IN THE PRESS!!!!!!!!!!

Over the last two days, I’ve heard from a number of sources, none of whom are mentioned in this post, that Belo Corp. management has decided to ditch most, if not all, of The Dallas Morning News’ movie and television critics.

HORRORS!!!!!!!!!!

We've said it before, we'll say it again: the ad-blurbists are irrelevant at best, hosannahing toadying groupthinkers at worst. Why must every newspaper have scribblers above the title?

(Via -- who else? -- ROMY)

Posted 12:50 PM by Gene

Authorities named two suspects Thursday in the Bombay commuter train bombings that killed at least 200 people.

The government's Anti-Terror Squad released photos of two young, bearded men it identified as Sayyad Zabiuddin and Zulfeqar Fayyaz.

Yep, Eskimos attacked the trains in Mumbai.

Posted 12:46 PM by Gene

The Right-Wing MODO has gone beyond embarrassing. Perhaps she can defend herself as having "joked," but when a joke involves a veiled death threat it may not be funny. But then the Right-Wing MODO's humor wore off on us a long time ago.

Posted 12:19 PM by Gene

If NRO is to be believed some big benefactors of Hahvahd Mutual Fund are withholding their investments.

We doubt this sort of thing will make the Club Meds for the young any less PC, but we can hope.

Posted 12:05 PM by Gene

Ordering a computer from Dell can be needlessly complicated; but we wonder if Fore!!'s simplification (which is mostly cutting promotions and rebates) will help given that the company is now unalterably identified with OUTSOURCING.

Ironically, Fore!!'s doing this to "beef up" customer service. Puh-LEASE!

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

We are grateful that even as Israel bombs Lebanon to prevent two captured soldiers from being sent to Iran ESPNCorp Network News can devote four pages of its Web site to manufacture another "superstar."

Perhaps LORD KOPPEL had a point, however self-righteously raised.

Posted 11:30 AM by Gene

Dubya does "COWBOY" diplomacy -- and the hacks complain. Now Dubya's going "multilateral" -- and STILL the hacks complain!

News hacks are always right.

Posted 8:55 AM by Gene

Now who is to blame for all these layoffs at SUMNERADIO -- SUMNER or the LATE KING OF ALL THE UNIVERSE'S MEDIA? And if the late KING OF ALL THE UNIVERSE'S MEDIA is to blame couldn't he dip into his vast alleged fortune to help?

Not bloody likely.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

WILL THE WORLD CUP EVER END?!?!?

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP:

"The marketplace is exerting a far more dangerous influence on what gets on and what doesn't get on television news programming these days than any . . . fear of political repercussions or consequences....

"As all of you know far better than I, the cost of a commercial on a program that reaches an audience over 45 or 50 is a fraction of what a . . . sponsor is willing to pay for a commercial on a broadcast that reaches the 18-to-29-year-olds."

Look, dammit, if superserious news types like YOU, LORD KOPPEL, had done your job RIGHT MAYBE we wouldn't be pontificating about stupid KIDS.

And as Rosie's Nephew could remind you, St. Edward of Murrow had PERSON TO PERSON -- and YOU had BRUCE.

Thankfully Lisa ran this; if HOWIE HAIRSHIRT had done it he'd have agreed with him.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Tribune 2Q Profit Down on Circulation Woes

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

A hero becomes a martyr:

Lawson likened Lay to James Byrd, a black man who was dragged to death in a racially motivated murder near Jasper eight years ago.

"Ken Lay was neither black nor poor, as James Byrd was, but I'm angry because Ken was the victim of a lynching," said Lawson, who predicted that history will vindicate Lay.

If we call correctly, whoever murdered James Byrd did not drag thousands of Enron employees with him.

Strange: everyone there called KennyBoy "nice" and "good." Having a kind surface doesn't preclude the monster underneath. We somehow don't think that because KennyBoy left generous tips and smiled at people who otherwise go unsmiled it makes his crimes any more palatable. And that PAPA and THE FIXER were there sums up his friends.

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

What do Tyco, CONcast and ESPNCorp know about the Voting Rights Act?

Here's what they know: Tyco was run by a fraud, CONcast gouges its customers and ESPNCorp is liberal. That's what they know.

Here's betting the act passes as is, proof news hacks rule the universe.

Posted 6:24 AM by Gene

Kevorkian says he wouldn't choose suicide

NOW he tells us.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

Frustrated World Powers Send Iran to U.N.

Now go sit in a corner and we'll punish you in ten years.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

The Vatican also confirmed that Roman Catholic dioceses and individuals in the United States remain the No. 1 donors to the Holy See, providing a third of Peter's Pence, as donations to the Pope are known. Next come Italy and Germany.

So why do American Catholics always act whiny and ungrateful? Unless it's all those priests who aren't Catholics.

Posted 2:13 PM by Gene

Time Warner Inc. Chief Executive Officer Richard Parsons blames the decline in his company's stock this year on investor wariness of the media industry.

Not that you produce a lot of JUNK, right Your Highness?

Posted 2:10 PM by Gene

FIFA to consider removing Zidane's Golden Ball

WIL THE WORLD CUP EVER END?!?

Posted 1:58 PM by Gene

While crusading to tell THE TRUTH, the WHOLE TRUTH, and NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, news hacks have a chance to RELAX:

Pop culture pundit Thompson was quoted 60 times in June

Robert Thompson, director of the Center for the Study of Popular Television at Syracuse University, "serves a purpose to deliver a sound bite," says Jossip blogger David Hauslaib. "I set up a Google News Alert to monitor all of his press mentions and I have to treat them like spam now because they're so frequent."

Crusading IDIOTS.

Posted 1:50 PM by Gene

Touchstone Pictures, RIP.

Another one of MICKEYMOUSE NIXON's EXPERIMENTS bites the dust.

Joke of the Day:

"The internal rate of return (for the studio division) is not shareholder friendly," Miller said. "Obviously, even though 'Cars' or 'Pirates' were big successes, the internal rate of return was insufficient."

Hardy har har!

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

Gannett reports 8.3% decline in second-quarter earnings

How about some more P-Ulitzer auditions, GanNETt?

But @#$%&* REVENUES were up!

Posted 10:13 AM by Gene

Remember that courageous book by the alleged hero of Watergate who told all to Woodstein? It's sold 3,000 copies thus far.

I guess there's a limit to publicity.

Posted 10:04 AM by Gene

One of the great First Amendment defenders of the air is forced to seek employment elsewhere, in no small part thanks to the NAZI REGIME of FINES, and already he is remembered:

["Mancow"] Muller, Nyren said, was a polarizing figure on arrival in Chicago "and the ad community and even listeners never really forgot it," Nyren said. "I would have people call and they would say, `My ad just ran behind the porn star from California who's running for governor.'"

Honest, we'd have thought most of the good fairies of advertising wouldn't have noticed -- or could have imagined it a VIRTUE.

"You certainly like synergy, but Howard had very little synergy on almost every station he was on," Gehron said.

The late KING OF ALL THE UNIVERSE'S MEDIA had his own exclusive kingdom? Well!

Posted 9:46 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Cloning millions of chain stores in suburbs and exurbs (but NEVER in cities) isn't working as well as it used to.

Posted 9:29 AM by Gene

A "eulogy" for LEGENDARY WELCH:

As his ruthlessly efficient strategy wrenched GE into high performance, the company's stock took off. Soon virtually everything Welch said became gospel - often to the extreme. When Welch embraced Six Sigma, the program began to proliferate all over corporate America.

He talked about being the leanest and meanest and lowest-cost, and corporate America got out its ax. Welch advocated ranking your players and weeding out your weakest, and HR departments turned Darwinian. As time went on, the mantra of shareholder value took on a life of its own.

Cheered on by academics, consulting firms and investors [and NOT NEWS HACKS like John "Love for Sale" Byrne], more and more companies tried to defy history (and their own reality) to sustain growth and dazzle Wall Street as Welch was doing. Accounting tricks, acquisition mania, outright thievery - executives went overboard. [LEGENDARY -- a THIEF?!?!?]

"It became all about 'real men make their numbers,' " says one CEO. "What were we thinking?"

You were thinking, the hell with the public, among other things.

This, says Harvard Business School's Rakesh Khurana, is the legacy of the Old Rules. Managing to create shareholder value became managed earnings became managing quarter to quarter to please the Street. "That meant a disinvestment in the future," says Khurana, author of "Searching for a Corporate Savior."

"It was a dramatic reversal of everything that made capitalism strong and the envy of the rest of the world: the willingness of a CEO to forgo dividends and make an investment that wouldn't be realized until one or two CEOs down the road." Now, he believes, "we're at a hinge point of American capitalism."

In other words, it's time for a NEW PARADIGM FOR BUSINESS, which will have every bit as much B. S. as the old one.

We especially like New Paradigm -- er, New Rule No. 1:

Agile is best; being big can bite you.

Planning to seize on that one, King Richard?

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

A high mucky-muck in advertising has died, and he was famous -- or rather "infamous" as AdAge must put it -- for a quote:

"With no ads, who would pay for the media? The good fairy?"

Thankfully plenty of good fairies pay for media, which makes us think if they were tooth fairies they'd make us all toothless.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

If SELIGISM'S HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT! why is FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! getting it at 40 percent off?

OR, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s a bigger SOB than BUD! But that's obvious.

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

Congresspoop RESPECTED X. MARINE was an UNINDICTED ABSCAM CO-CONSPIRATOR?!?!?

Someone must be making this up.

(Caveat: it's from conservatives -- and AMSPEC.)

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

It's official: both editions of THE WALL STREET JOURNALS are FULL OF IT!

I repeat: with two editorial pages they're AMERICA'S MOST DISHONEST PAPERS.

Speaking of dishonest, John "Lovey-Dovey" Fund's having a civil trial. We thought that story got salted away someplace, as perhaps Lovey-Dovey should be.

Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

The State Department is recovering from large-scale computer break-ins worldwide over the past several weeks that appeared to target its headquarters and offices dealing with China and North Korea, The Associated Press has learned.

If any government agency can get hacked, Foggy Bottom's high on the list.

But then knowing those defenders of justice we wouldn't be surprised if it's an inside job.

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

Another argument for letting "public" radio ditch the pretensions and sell ads. If clowns like these are going to play the same stuff you can get through CHEAP CHANNEL, what's the point of it?

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

Yes, we can believe BIG BUSINESS and BIG GOVERNMENT are in CAHOOTS.

This book's cover squibs are from con-SER-va-tives. What does that mean?

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

And speaking of throwing money, look who's tossing it at G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE: the GUVMENT of MICHIGAN!

Either 1. Larry and Sergey could get the money helping arrest more Chinese dissidents, or 2. Maybe they figured that money should be for THEM.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (with help from PEOPLE WARNER) is throwing more money at SELIGISM, which tells us Barry*'s indictment can't come soon enough.

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

The COVER HERO of TWO NEWSRAGS is -- BACK?!?

Bode Miller, the U.S. downhill skiing star who showed such promise at the Salt Lake City Olympics in 2002 before flopping grandly in 2006 in Torino, will now try his hand at baseball.

Miller has signed a one-game contract to play for the Nashua Pride of the independent CanAm League, ESPN reported on Monday.

Miller will play for the Pride in a home game on July 29. The team did not say what position Miller will play.

How about mascot?

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

When does terrorism seem not to matter?

When it happens in India.

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

White House Trims FY 2006 Budget Deficit Forecast to $296 Bln

This calls for a few new social programs -- or EARMARKS.

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

GREG seems to have noticed a protest outside the world's capitol -- er, THE PAPER OF RE-CORD; and while the gatherers were, sadly, the usual bunch...

The co-sponsors included: Caucus for America and Free Republic; American Academic Alliance for Israel; American Coptic Union; Americans for a Safe Israel; Brownstone Republican Club; Congress of Racial Equality; The Jerusalem Connection; March Against Terror USA/National Sovereignty Committee; Military Families Voice of Victory; New York State Republican Clubs; New York Young Republican Club; Protest Warriors; U.S. Committee for a Free Lebanon; Richmond County Young Republicans Club; Rockaway Republicans.

...it was nonetheless a protest against our SUPERIORS, and even if the protesters were NAZ -- CONSERVATIVES, the fact remains THEY'RE PAYING CUSTOMERS TOO -- which seems not to worry the press one iota in its CRUSADE FOR THE TRUTH.

Posted 9:23 AM by Gene

We must wonder, however, what brain spasm prompted Rom to link to this:

[I]f you have to quit in the middle of summer, there are few better places to do it than Santa Barbara.

I wonder if News-Press readers appreciate the convictions of the paper's editors and veteran columnist or just think they're nuts. But tell the truth: Don't you love the part about employees hurling obscenities at the publisher?

I bet you don't do that at your office.

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

The publisher of Harper's calmly intones:

THE JOURNAL'S OPINION PAGE IS CRACKPOT RIGHT-WING!!!!!

THANK GOD FOR THE NEWS SECTION!!!!!

Uh, ProJo, explain the URL.

(Via Romy, who, unlike THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION, is a REASONED MODERATE)

Posted 9:12 AM by Gene

And the negatives of KennyBoyism don't seem to have deterred Corporate America from playing tricks with its shareholders.

Here's another part of society from whom not one word can be trusted, including definite and indefinite articles.

Posted 9:09 AM by Gene

We would merely roll our eyeballs over this except such PC is the flip side of KennyBoyism. Corporate America thinks it can get away with murder by placating Je$$es. It's a win-win game because placating Je$$es is placating the media. This doesn't make lying down and playing dead to get up and commit murder any more appetizing.

And no, we don't like the "Rev." Wildmon.

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

Meantime, when not reporting on Red Paper Clip Men and World Cup players, our NEWS HACKS crusade us into REAL NEWS:

An al-Qaida-linked group posted a Web video Tuesday purporting to show the mutilated bodies of two U.S. soldiers, claiming it killed them in revenge for the rape-slaying of a young Iraqi woman by American troops from the same unit.

Thanks, HACKS! We couldn't have done it without your NOBLE SPECULATIONS!

The LEAST Bill Keller can do is write a letter congratulating himself about it.

Posted 6:53 AM by Gene

Will the World Cup EVER END?

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

Zidane's Final Act Stuns Nation

Will the World Cup EVER end?

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

June Allyson, a link to the glory days of MGM and the Hollywood past, has died, and now we have TENTPOLES, and KEIRAS.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

So -- the NASHUNAL EHDYUKAYSHUN ASSOESEEAYSHUN spent over $8 million opposing Dubya's Every Child a Dilbert Act.

That could have paid for some EHDYUKAYSHUN.

Posted 6:35 AM by Gene

I am glad the crusading ASSociated Press has 870 words to waste on the Red-Paper-Clip Man, and USAOKAY!!!!!.com has a front-page hed to waste too. Now could we please REPORT on something?

By the way, whatever happened to the Million-Dollar-Web-Page Man? We haven't heard of him lately. I wonder why?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

The Con-SER-va-tive Wedding of the Century: James Pinkerton and Kathryn Jean Travers Lopez.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

Artificial Sperm Used To Produce Seven Baby Mice

Good! Now let's make artificial sperm to make seven baby cats.

Then we can make artificial sperm to make seven baby DOGS.

Many people object to this technology on ethical grounds. If the sperm is grown and developed in a lab, what effect would this have on our understanding of kinship and parenthood?

Ethics, shmethics, so long as we can make baby mice, cats and dogs.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

U.N. Vote on N. Korea Sanctions Delayed

Ehhhh, take your time.

Pffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

Materazzi: I did not call Zidane a terrorist

Here's another good reason to ignore FOOOOOTBALLLLL for the next four years.

Posted 3:28 PM by Gene

What'll it be, hacks? Crusading truth-telling conservative- and Republican-bashing JERNALISM? Or a toadying marshmallow-soft-and-fluffy PROFIT CENTER?

We hear the answer: BOTH!

Buying celeb photos for $150 million does NOT seem to have helped PEOPLE WARNER.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 2:25 PM by Gene

Q. When did the news media become the enemy?

A. When the public became the NEWS MEDIA'S.

(Via the inevitable Romy)

Posted 10:28 AM by Gene

Shucks, when liberals formed pressure groups they didn't think conservatives would do the same thing?

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

Four courageous J-SKOOL DEANS issue a CLARION CALL:

It is the business -- and the responsibility -- of the press to reveal secrets.

So the next time you use anonymous sources we expect you to FESS UP!

Despite the rhetoric of their fiercest critics, most journalists take secrets seriously.

That's why we never hear who those anonymous sources are -- or any news damaging to our FAVORITES, or OUR BUSINESS.

We subscribe to the vision of Carl C. Magee, a crusading journalist whose Albuquerque newspaper infuriated another president in the 1920s with revelations in the Teapot Dome scandal. Forced to close his paper after being driven to bankruptcy, Magee emerged two months later with another newspaper.

Hey J-SKOOL DEANS! Al-Qaida ain't Teapot Dome -- and they didn't have the Net then!

Another piece of trash Jack Abramoff and a bevy of interns could have written.

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

Here's one for the next Democratic Party platform: REPARATIONS!

Thanks, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES, for CRUSADING this to the FORE!

(Via Topix.com)

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

Sen. John McCain: I DON'T HAVE A TEMPER!!!!!!!!!!

Calm down, Boobs.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Good news:

Chechen warlord Shamil Basayev, the purported author of modern Russia's worst terrorist attacks, was killed Monday, the head of the Federal Security Service said.

Of course, considering who runs Russia, it may not be unalloyed.

Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

Altria MOtive Foods made an acquisition, and this bit in Cheapie Marketwatch struck us:

Kraft, second only to Nestle SA in the global food and beverage business, has been struggling in recent years in an industry marked by its slow sales gains and skinny profit margins.

At those prices?

Known mostly for its coffee, cheese and cereal products, Kraft has also been struggling to keep its products on grocery-store shelves that increasingly have become stocked with its customers' own private-label brands.

Who wants to pay for artificial ingredients and ADVERTISING?

Speaking of which, Mars Inc. fired an executive for not selling enough Snickers, which means one thing: LOTS MORE TV COMMERCIALS.

Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

Last words of a Hollywood toady:

"I have sometimes received flowers from a celebrity....It is the mark of shame. They might as well be funeral flowers - it means you did a terrible job."

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

THE PROFOUND USEFULNESS OF TECHNORATI: Today, seeking whatever I've been missing from blogs, I turned to B. S. DEFENDER's favorite site, and seeing all the hot topics were that petulant soccer player from France I entered "bush." This was the second entry. After clicking on a post saying the WTC was brought down by incendiary devices I decided I would not use Technorati for awhile.

By the way, B. S. is back to smooching Dell, proving even the BEST bloggers can run out of things to say.

Posted 4:47 PM by Gene

Well! Thank God THAT'S over. Now we can ignore -- FOOTBALL again without guilt.

The hacks will call this a CLASSIC regardless of how dull it was -- because they had RINGSIDE SEATS.

P. S.

France, meanwhile, went into the shootout without its captain and most reliable player. Midfielder Zinédine Zidane had been ejected after he committed an astonishing act of impudence and unsportsmanlike conduct in the 109th minute. [Emphasis added.]

How very -- FRENCH. (Hope PINCH doesn't fire you, Jere.)

Posted 1:30 PM by Gene

Heck, if they were really interested in ART, GE Bancorp and Realty or RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!! could have bought this picture for $14 million -- and saved tens of millions!



Or THIS!

She does cut a lovelier figure than K---a, doesn't she?

Posted 1:23 PM by Gene

Tony Dork's Health Secretary cries HYPOCRISY:

"But let's remember, men have always been able to father children into their 60s, their 70s, even occasionally their 80s so some of the furore about a woman having a child when she is 62 - I think there is a certain amount of gender hypocrisy there."

But let's remember, most of the mothers are in their twenties.

Posted 1:18 PM by Gene

Aw, poor Kenny Boy was the victim of...sneering diners -- in ASPEN.

"It's very hard for someone to stand before America and say, 'I knew nothing about it,' " Sexton said of Lay's explanations of the fraudulent deals that toppled Enron. "It's been heavy on my heart being a Christian man, I want to forgive him. But that man destroyed so many families. It really upsets me. He was responsible."

But to the end, he wasn't.

Posted 1:04 PM by Gene

More good BIZ news: Apparently $100 million is now the magic number at which movie "properties" can get dumped -- and some are, with supposedly big names attached. It would never occur to the megalomaniacs that when they force the studios to pull their plugs, a lot of little guys get ZAPPED.

And if this biz is doing so well why is deep-sixing productions right and left?

And yet another tale of the woeful poverty in Beverly Hills:

[O]riginally the budget had been closer to $106 million — the trinity of Carrey, Stiller and director Jay Roach doesn't come cheap, though they took pay cuts to work together. (Still, according to those familiar with the deal, their combined salaries made up more than half the budget.)

AND:

"The problem is there are not enough movie stars right now," says an agent who did not want to be named.



You're telling us?

Posted 10:26 AM by Gene

Anything that makes Paul Dreck unhappy -- the lack of "blockbusters" -- makes US HAPPY.

So much for the end of the slump.

This appeared in a RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

P. S. It's starting -- $41.8 million on Saturday, down roughly 24 percent from Friday (according to ShowBizData.com) -- and the DRECKMAN (oblivious to what he told DA POST!!!!!) has already said SUPERDUPERMEGASMASH!

P. P. S. Prediction: The Supe does NOT get to $200 million, so we only have three SUPERDUPERMEGASMASHES for the year, whatever that means.

P. P. P. S. ESPNCORP may be lying; the difference between the numbers in ShowBizData and BoxOfficeMojo is enough so the hacks can scream, "FASTEST TO $100 MILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", whatever THAT means.

Posted 10:15 AM by Gene

Who'da thunk: the Two Do's on the Dems' ticket in '04 don't get along.

This is going to be some election!

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

Anyone who's convenient friends with shady Muslims AND B. S. DEFENDER's lobby is NOT a nice guy.

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

Congo may not have a government, but at least it has cell phones.

Posted 9:23 AM by Gene

Well! Mr. Mark comes back rested and refreshed from his two-week break to do a cover on "The Greening of America," one of those placeholders to bide the time while we look for something heavy-duty to spin or sell. Meantime the TWXSTERS do something on Dubya's foreign policy, which we'd guess is about as we'd expect it. (Indeed it is: "a State Department official under President Clinton", "who commanded the U.S. Central Command from 1991 to '94", "a senior foreign policy fellow at the Brookings Institution", that sounds about right. Though I see we do quote someone from the AEI for balance. It's writing like this that gets us doing skimming like this.)

And there is a certain stenographic bone-headedness to stories like Mr. Mark's, as witness this graf:

Even Wal-Mart wants to help shape a sustainable future, and few companies are in a better position to do so. Just by wrapping four kinds of produce in a polymer derived from corn instead of oil, the company claims it can save the equivalent of 800,000 gallons of gasoline.

All well and good on the PR front, but how much gas do shoppers waste coming and going to the Wal-Marts mostly located near nothing -- especially when they'd save more money at Amazon.com?

And we just saw this: Dick Schick thought he could make up for The Selling of a Geisha by calling the THEME PARK of the CENTURY a "disaster." You know that line about stopped clocks, Dick.