Posted 7:53 PM by Gene

How much time do we waste perusing news hacks plastering us with trendy ephemeral fads?

Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

Bob Barker, a host who projects cool control and avuncular warmth at once, is now in his 83rd year on Earth, and his 35th presiding over this twinkling heaven.

Translation: Stale.com can make ANYONE sound pretentious.

Posted 4:33 PM by Gene

America seems to be having a collective nervous breakdown. Is our vaunted interconnectedness to blame? Here's more circular behavior: We must follow every last bit of trivia on the Web, and when we're angry enough we type about it, thinking we can influence the uninfluenceable, and when nothing changes we type more, and get angrier. In some ways a computer is worse than a TV because where TV is a mere pacifier, a computer ties an interactive rope around you -- and it.

The time may soon come when we'll be as moved to throw our computers out the windows as we are our TVs.

Posted 4:30 PM by Gene

If I were a chief news hack I'd do the undoable -- ban public-opinion polls and reporting thereon. They create a circular story: news hacks commission polls, then report on the reactions, then do follow-up polling, then more reactions, then on and on into infinity. Indeed the whole point of the public-opinion gag is to influence elections. No one can calculate the space and time such cat's-tail chasing takes away from the alleged public service news hacks say they provide. But because this Moebius strip of reporting has itself become a story, what "responsible" news organization can ignore it?

I HATE NEWS HACKS!

Posted 4:26 PM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S comedian is fearless. All America's ad-blurbists say so. (Such courageous conformity!) We wonder how courageous someone is who's praised by a class that spends so much time hiding under its desks. We know this: Sacha is very bright, and he thinks publicity all the time. He'll never mock M-----ms.

Which reminds us: as RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s news net continues in free fall we should ultimately get -- this:

FOX News apologizes to (fill in the blank) for (fill in the blank). It was not our intent to make light of (fill in the blank)'s creed. Despite a few militants who would pervert it for their own purposes, Islam is a religion of peace. We further apologize to those who may have been offended by our reporting, and we promise never to do it again.

REMEMBER CHARLIE CHAN.

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

Today walking past 19th and Chestnut I noticed another Starbucks about to come in where an independent eatery was, and I thought, who can explain its good rep? Why do I think this twee Mickey Ds, for all its cleverly manufactured aura as a "quirky" peace-and-love place, is every bit as ruthless as Wal-Mart? How many thousands of small businesses has it deep-sixed? The tragedy of Whole Foods (pffh-hh-hh) gives us hope. People can't go on overpaying forever. When will somebody wake up and smell the odor of Starbucks?

Noting those heady days of double-digit same-store sales growth, analyst Mark Husson of HSBC Securities said the "party is over for the foreseeable future, perhaps forever, as competition is reeling Whole Foods in."

Husson said its fresh food items are good, but "not that much better than, say, Safeway's."

When?

Posted 12:15 PM by Gene

The hacks will be insufferable all weekend because their movie is a SUPERDUPERMEGASMASH, but look further down the list: junk that was regularly able to lure the suckers no longer does so. Third-rate "family" movies, the umpteenth replication of Toy Story -- these gimmicks won't work. Yes, media types will crow over their success -- and they may just as soon have to eat it.

Despite this epochal triumph B. O. could still be down double-digits for the weekend -- the first of eight straight bad comparisons that might deflate the media types' egos, a little.

P. S. DIMWIT:

Obviously, buzz has never been foolproof (and with media journalism and movies, you've got to emphasize the "fool" in foolproof) [What can that mean? That we media-consuming peons are fools?], but it's become so pervasive that when a creation built on buzz fails, such as "Snakes on a Plane," Hollywood is shocked. Movie-lovers, though, should be overjoyed: It's a sign of audiences declaring their freedom from advertising, and from "soft" feature-writing that might as well be advertising. [Emphasis added]

When will the hacks stop making excuses for themselves so they can go on doing as they please?

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

Lord Elton's mad because 1. His record label isn't promoting his latest masterwork, or 2. People don't want to buy it.

Take your pick. But no peeking!

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

Eeeeeeeeeeeeegyyyyyyyyyyyyyyypt's gonnnnnnnnnnna geeeeeeet onnnnnnnnne toooooooooo,
Juuuuuuuuuuust toooooooooooo uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse on you know who.

And Algeria, Morocco, Tunisia, the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia!

Nice going, Nukeman!

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

TimesSelect Holds an Open House

We're not taking the bait, thank you PINCH.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

McCartneyCorp is determined to be above the fray of its divorce, which would seem to indicate the bad PR is getting to it, or that there may be people involved.

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

And in other news of greed:

$50 Billion Was Bid for Vivendi

You figure KKR must have found a lot of suckers willing to pay for a broken-down record company. Or maybe the principals were being nostalgic.

Fortunately the deal appears not to have gone through, saving quite a few people quite a bit of money.

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

The professional college sports teams are spending $150 million on tutoring to make it appear that academics is still their first line of business.

Posted 2:14 PM by Gene

The latest crusading, truth-telling news from the BILAL-inspired ASSociated Press:

`Grey's Anatomy' Plot Developments

Posted 11:51 AM by Gene

So con-SER-va-tives haven't said anything about this hypocritical preacher. Just one problem: when we get into he-said-she-said we run out of our supply of tar and feathers -- or rather, this is like a slut accusing another slut of being a virgin. There is a manifest cluelessness to pundits of all stripes: they think they can say something and it won't hurt them. Don't these clowns know what GOOGLE is?

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

We knew Detroit was building cars no one would buy in the figurative sense; we didn't think it was still doing it in the literal sense.

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

For a start, his work is instantly recognisable in a culture that sets high store by the brand. It almost symbolises its era: those groundbreaking years when American culture confronted the tenets of Western tradition headlong. Pollock replaced brush and palette and all premeditation with an impetuous process of swinging and pouring and spattering and dripping.

His canvas was less a construction than an arena of action. What unfurled on the long bolts of cotton rolled out across his studio floor was less a portrayal of intention than an improvisation, a spontaneous record of some spur of the moment dance.

TRANSLATION: 1. The difference between my paint splatterings and Jackson's is that Jackson's are worth $140 million; and 2. Art "critics" see things.

Who knew RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was such an art lover? Or does he have a few Jacksons in his basement?

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

Make no mistake: The fact that a view is unpopular certainly doesn't make it wrong. And conservatives have every right to make their best case to the public, in an effort to change the public's mind. But we liberals make no mistakes, and we should lock our conservative enemies in the hoosegow when the public weal demands it. (Second sentence added)

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

Words for Gray-DON's tombstone:

"Vanity Fair doesn't do anything that upsets a publicist — ever."

(Via Romy)

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

If the hacks and the media buyers and the "hard-core" are so hot for EINSTEIN let them PAY for it -- via the Web, or HBO. (The TWXSTERS produce it; they could easily transfer it to THE GREATEST NETWORK IN HISTORY -- and I wouldn't be surprised if they do.) It is also wrong that the cri-TICS uniformly loved it; a number panned it for its preachiness, one reason maybe this is now a cause celebre within a tiny hermetically-sealed portion of the media biz.

So much for Philips Phree Phridays. Why do the Journals bother posting anything?

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

We don't know what to make of the Microsoft-Novell Linux deal. Is it a demonstration of the Bugmeister's technology limits? Is it co-optation?

Is it oil and water?

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

The latest cracked pottery among deep thinkers: an earth without homo sapiens.

Okay Bob, you proposed it. You first.

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

Well, at least the military is serious about North Korea, even if "the international community" isn't.

Posted 7:02 AM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RULES!

Posted 6:57 AM by Gene

A courageous artiste pulls a J'ACCUSE:

Rap star Kanye West was named Best Hip Hop artist but still came off as a sore loser at the MTV Europe Music Awards.

Kanye apparently was so disappointed at not winning for Best Video that he crashed the stage Thursday in Copenhagen when the award was being presented to Justice and Simian for "We Are Your Friends."

In a tirade riddled with expletives, Kanye said he should have won the prize for his video "Touch The Sky," because it "cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it. I was jumping across canyons."

"If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility," Kanye said.

Now if only this had happened here SUMNER would dance a jig and THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS would be knocking on said artiste's door.

Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

SIX OF ONE: Our Congresspoops may not have had the right idea by making military recruiting mandatory using the Every Child a Dilbert Act; it has the faint whiff of telemarketing before the Do-Not-Call Law. That said, all these parents and kids turning down the recruiters has the faint whiff of PC, and more than a little cowardice.

Posted 6:45 AM by Gene

News hacks were all over Wal-Mart for not being "hip". So what happens? It tries to be "hip" -- and this hack is all over it for losing sales.

Don't pick a fight with people who buy their ink by the barrel.

P. S. We're troubled too that department stores are "back", meaning hundreds more boxes for people who don't need them, and not a dime's worth of investment for those who do.

Posted 3:38 PM by Gene

Many in the world would welcome a Republican defeat next week. (Home-page squib)

We KNOW, we KNOW -- and the WaPOST has had a POPULATION EXPLOSION.

Posted 3:33 PM by Gene

The future of England...

1,500 immigrants arrive in Britain daily, report says

...is somewhere else.

Oddly, most of the newcomers are Romanians and Bulgarians, but we've no doubt a gaggle of M-----ms is in the mix.

Posted 3:20 PM by Gene

Actor Tom Cruise to Run MGM's United Artists Studio

This is sheer PR buncombe. UA (which is "MGM"'s REAL name) brings a declining star and a little money to "invest" in a moribund marque, which will no doubt produce a couple of duds before the ruse dissolves in acrimony.

Meantime the company's "franchise" is having trouble enough with BOND? James -- BOND?

P. S. at 6: 25 p. m. The hacks are taking this story EXTREMELY seriously. If the scribblers never before proved they're full of it, they have now.

Posted 3:16 PM by Gene

Do interviews with CEOs serve any useful purpose?

Posted 3:08 PM by Gene

ROMY is EXCITED because HHHWWWALTER CRRRONKITE JR.'S UP 67 PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!

To an average of 637,000. His mortal enemy (and ours) the NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE has 2.1 million. If we add these two blockheads together that means 297 MILLION DON'T WATCH THEM -- yet they seem to command attention in vast multiples to their audiences. Or do they merely scream a lot?

Posted 11:54 AM by Gene

Caro kept an online cat diary for six months and hooked up her cats with about 50 friends each. "At that point, I thought, 'Who cares?' " she said. "Who cares if my cats have friends?"

Has "social networking" gone a little too far?

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

A newspaper would change its editorial position on building a casino -- because it expects ADVERTISING REVENUE?

We would expect more from such NOBLE TELLERS OF THE TRUTH.

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

David Geffen is an exceptionally astute businessman. He allegedly just sold some Jackson Pollock splatter to a "Mexican financier" for $140 million. Nice going for a messy paint job!

But then what happens? He may use the money to buy the LALATIMES?!?!? A subscription would be cheaper.

(Via ArtsJournal)

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

"Here is someone who has brought you pictures, images from a critical part of Iraq, who has now been in U.S. military custody for six and a half months, not charged with a crime, not charged with anything, but told he will be held indefinitely because HIS PICTURES ARE UNWELCOME!!!!!!!!!!" [Overemphasis added]

Perhaps more than his pictures are unwelcome.

"We are not saying release the guy. We are saying release him if you are not going to charge him."

Cle-VER phrasing by the ASSociated Press's executive editor. We're not saying release the guy but we're saying release him. The Pentagon does itself no favors with its top-secret excuses. But the ASSPress does itself no favors by all but proclaiming this guy a political prisoner.

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

People who would not find themselves caught dead in a church (even at their own funeral?) will hallelujah no end as our national chapter of the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club appoints a woman executive director. Whether this has anything to do with God or not is another matter.

She hopes to concentrate on winning the young back to the church, citing Bronx musician Timothy Holder's "hip-hop Mass" and a Eucharist ceremony based on music by the pop group U2 as examples.

God? What's God? Is that the second coming of John Lennon or something?

"I imagine we will start by greeting each other and learning about each others' contexts," she said. "Unless we can build some kind of human relationship, it's very difficult to build the trust necessary for real dialogue...."

With this kind of mumbo-jumbo she could do PR for one of those CEOs who golfs all the time.

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

Pat yourself on the back, Hugh:

When unique visitors to HughHewitt.com crashes through 125,000 on a single day, I know the public is engaged.

Compared to which newspaper sites, Hugh?

Posted 7:04 AM by Gene

Shucks, I guess we hacks can't fool the public ALL the time:

Voters said neither Democrats nor Republicans had offered a plan for governing should they win on Tuesday, the poll found. [NINTH graf]

They also expect the Dems to get us to cut-and-run from Iraq. Be careful what you wish for....

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

OH oh, Little Jeffy doesn't like the "ANALOG" biz anymore! He doesn't like that his stock price has gone nowhere in five years!

"This is a very important business for GE, a very important business," Immelt said. "A business we will stay in, a business that we've been good at and that we need to continue to be good at when I look at the future of where the company is going and where we have to be."

Wave bye-bye to TV, Little Jeffy!

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

How surprising: the same idiot CEOs who can cause such grief merely by flexing their egos, who will not stop boasting of their salaries and options and perks and privileges, "sometimes belong to three, four and five country clubs at once."

Golf is to the CEO what the fiddle was to Nero -- and Nero played it better.

Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

There is this notion that politics has left a legendary SKNNNNNNNNNNX-presided Valhalla of "civility" and saintliness for our own current hell. We forget that Andy Jackson's wife was viciously slandered; Jackson blamed her death on it. We forget the campaign of 1840, unprecedented in its dishonesty. We forget when Abe Lincoln was called an ape. We forget the 1884 election, of Grover Cleveland's illegitimate son and James G. Blaine's railroad dealings. More recently JFK was chastised solely for his religion. Yes, I'd like the tantrum throwers to shut up, but we mustn't forget Mr. Dooley's old saying, "politics ain't beanbag", even if the participants too often are.

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

Too true:

Regardless of who wins, it won't make much difference for most of our pressing problems. We won't have a major new budget policy, energy policy or immigration policy. The election might not even much affect the Iraq war.

In many ways, the election doesn't matter, and all the hoopla is an exercise in delusional hype.

I have just skimmed Msssssssssssss. Pelosi's Contract with America. It's a glorified PowerPoint exercise in evasion. In practical terms the Dems will do next to nothing with their power, confirming Mr. Samuelson's wise thesis. But it also mentions a "responsible redeployment" from Iraq, worrisome tap-dancing in words, and nowhere does it mention the kind of social-engineering lunacies that even now make the Democratic Party suspect, but without which it has no self-esteem, and which must always be its priorities.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

As the bizarre becomes commonplace, it loses its shock value, and we lose our humanity. God knows how many more slimeballs are out there molesting children, but our society gives them free reign with a wink, a nod, and a quick turn the other way. And don't anyone DARE to mention MORALS.

The holy cockroaches won't need nukes to subjugate us; we'll have done the job ourselves.

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

We wonder if the ASSociated Press was trying to pull the usual fast one by suggesting that Veep Big Oil could resign. (Naturally we will never have a transcript of the interview so we won't know whether the ASSociated Press reporter brought it up, or whether this is just cute writing.) We don't know what the purpose is, other than a cheap partisan shot -- Big Oil can join Spiro T. Agnew as a DISGRACED VEEP! We have no respect for a man who will become either a superlobbyist to end all superlobbyists or a Fixer to end all Fixers; but our respect for the press partisans ended a long time before that.

Posted 2:55 PM by Gene

At what point does a news hack make too much money to be honest?

Posted 2:31 PM by Gene

The news hacks report that Nukeman has awarded first prize in the Holocaust-is-a-Myth cartoon contest.

Posted 12:47 PM by Gene

GREAT: a FILM version of SPEED RACER.

Hope springs eternal -- that PEOPLE WARNER can return to $10 a share, where it belongs.

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

Marketers are already in a tug-of-war over China's top athletes. With multiple sponsors to please, Chinese track-and-field champion Liu Xiang is designing pins for Coca-Cola's Olympic promotion and racing a kangaroo in Australia in a Visa International spot by BBDO Shanghai, the first Olympic efforts by both those marketers. Mr. Liu also has deals with Nike, China Mobile and China's top dairy producer, Yili.

The CHINESE overcommercializing THE GE BANCORP GAMES?!?!?

Why not? They're a natural!

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

Of course, Bush/Limbaugh/Malkin will try to keep this story alive, but, with Kerry now sidelined, hopefully [SIC] the mainstream media will have the good sense to ignore them and move on to covering more important matters.

Like the latest racial slurs!

The modern Republican Party — definitely not the party of Dwight Eisenhower or even Ronald Reagan — had full control of the government for a mere four years before they overreached so far that the American public became disgusted by them. It took Democrats 50 years to do that. So, you know, congratulations on that. Apparently pandering to THE MOST EXTREME ELEMENTS OF THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and selling their soul to K Street turned out to be less popular than they thought. Imagine that. [Overemphasis added]

These two wonk-magazine superliberals have just proved they live across the street from THE CORNER. How DENSE.

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

So much for the second coming of PEOPLE WARNER.

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

Erlichman said Streisand, 64, believed the skit was in good fun and noted impersonator Steve Bridges, who wrote it, is a Republican.

So THAT's why it stays in?

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

I've said before the principal purposes of the drug store chains are to clone themselves and shake down Medicare. That contemptible behemoth CVS now wants a huge chunk of the drug-benefits-middleman pie to itself, meaning with luck a financial scandal down the road to make Rong-Aid's look like an innocuous short-change at a kid's lemonade stand.

Caremark was built by Edwin Crawford, a former Auburn football player and an executive under Richard M. Scrushy, the former HealthSouth chief executive.

NUF SAID.

(Corrected at 3:00 p.m. I thought CVS was the biggest of the three drug stooges; it's no. 2 to the equally bloated Walgreen.)

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

Specter of tax man haunts Democrats

If you switched shoes, or parties, or brains (scarcely conceivable as there may be none to switch), the Times would be just like the Post, and vice-versa. Before liberals ruled the news world the reactionaries did, and there's been little change through the years, except their gall has grown worse.

Posted 6:35 AM by Gene

“I’m always suspicious of clubs and councils,” Mr. Zakaria said. He added that he would be interested in participating in a media council “as long as the involvement was fairly minimal.”

Oh puh-leeze, Fareed, being named to this meaningless clique is just another way to let your inferiors the readers know you've arrived. It's something you can beat us in your daydreams with, much as the CEO brandishes his Super Bowl ducats. SHUT UP.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

We all knew it had to happen someday, but we see The Bionic Game Show Host is calling it quits. Fifty years on TV will do something to a man. Oh well, we salute you, Bob Barker, and we hope your retirement is long enough for a medically-induced encore.

P. S. It is more than a little revolting to realize that when Bob started his current run Bill Paley and Frank Stanton still headed CBS -- they'd just invented VIACON and would soon spin it off to appease the FEDS -- and Mark Goodson and Bill Todman were still his bosses. He's gone through (by our calculations) five management changes at the network and four at the producer. (Does anyone believe his show was once co-produced by The Econowiz' publisher? Sheesh.)

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Kofi may think he's doing something good by pointing out a problem before it happens -- in this case in the Horn of Africa. But after the League of Nations' inaction (or worse, in action) on so many disasters who will listen?

Meantime Hezbollah's leader (remember them?) says the League won't disarm his forces, which we'll take as the last word. Further:

The U.S. has "no future" in the region, Nasrallah said. "They will leave the Mideast, Arab and Islamic worlds just as they left Vietnam, and I advise those who are counting on them to draw conclusion from the Vietnam experience."

Do he and SEN. HEIN-TZZZZZZZZZZZZ share a speechwriter?

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

I suppose Arbitron going from paper-and-pencil diaries to the Web to compile radio ratings is a step forward, but how many miles would Arbitron have to go to assure they're accurate?

And what especially galls is that these ratings are behind the rise of CHEAP CHANNEL and three formats.

In other late-breaking industry news, this site announces that Roger was wrong -- EINSTEIN will live to see another day. Quick thinking!

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Why do the networks continue with soap operas? They were an anachronism even in the old days, The Perils of Pauline dragged from the railroad tracks into the radio age. Now they're largely unwatched due to their kitschiness and the target audience having abandoned the couch for the workplace. SUMNER has made much of this synergistic shtick with Marvel Entertainment but it won't work for either party; more adults will not want to consume more comic books OR soaps.

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

Which is worst about Stale.com: its non-knee-jerk knee-jerk politics, its ironic snideness, or its insistent devil's-advocate contrarianism?

And what do being an economist and viewing porn have in common?

Posted 1:42 PM by Gene

"The negatives aren't working as well and so campaigns are turning up the volume in their ads."

This, as I said before, is where we desperately need the new Nielsen ratings for commercials. If they can prove -- as I suspect they would -- that people tune out political TV ads more than any other type it might introduce reform in our politics the SLOBS have been unwilling to do.

Posted 1:32 PM by Gene

STAY IN SCHOOL OR YOU'LL GET STUCK IN IRAQ!

AND I'M PROUD OF THE SOLDIERS WHO ARE STUCK THERE!

Posted 11:22 AM by Gene

Some time ago we said we should make it a habit to enter "player arrested" in Google News. We haven't done it in awhile, but prodded by nostalgia we had to type it in, and we got back these rewarding stories:

A University Of Iowa football player faces problems off the field today. Starting linebacker, Ed Miles, was arrested early yesterday for an assault at an Iowa City bar.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Former University of Wisconsin football player Levonne Rowan was arrested on Saturday night following an alleged disturbance on the UW campus.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A running back for the Eastern Arizona College Gila Monsters football team was arrested Oct. 15 soon after admitting on camera to having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old girl.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Mustang football player was arrested Thursday evening following an incident outside the fieldhouse on the high school campus.

John Washington, 18, is charged with third-degree assault and engaging in violent criminal group activity after an off-duty officer reportedly saw him hitting another student in the head while two others held the victim.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Off-field issues continue to plague the UConn football team.

Senior Donald Thomas, a backup offensive lineman from West Haven, was suspended two games Tuesday by coach Randy Edsall for what school officials called a "violation of team rules." Thomas was arrested Sunday by UConn police after a fight at Wings Over Storrs, a restaurant near the campus.

And so on. And so on and so on. And so on and so on and so on.

FUN in America's SKOOLS!

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

Why news hacks can't lose their circulation fast enough: Yahoo! highlights this press release from the people who've given us so much laughter through BabelFish. They won't tell us how tall this ugly building in Dubai will be. Someone must know! You could find out. Heck if your friends in America can reveal all sorts of state secrets the LEAST you can do is find out how tall this ugly building will be. But we know you won't find out because a news hack's favorite hobby is -- well, we'd rather not say.

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

Mogul's Friend does ANOTHER favor:

When I ask Eastwood where he keeps his Oscars — the showbiz equivalent of Bradley's wartime medal [Nice touch there, Mogul -- likening the ACADEMY AWARD® to the Navy Cross -- scintillating! What a capital-A ASS!] — he points to a corner of the room. "There's a couple behind my desk over there. They're just sitting where they were put after the event." He shrugs, already a little uncomfortable talking about his achievements. "I appreciate the honor, but the question is — how far do you want to carry it?"

As far as you can, Greatest Director of All Time. Just makes sure Mogul's Friend doesn't steal them and sell them on eBay.

(Via the usual ArtsJournal)

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

The new Little Petey Rozelle is lucky he doesn't have a stadium murder on his hands.

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

Wal-Mart has become a political football. To the right it is the savior of mankind (and enables them to chuckle at all the menial retards who can't advance within the company); to the left it's a force of undiluted EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL and an excuse for endless posturing. A company of its girth makes a convenient target; nonetheless Wal-Mart has no one to blame for its mess but itself; by being the GM of retailing and doing GM-like things (like destroying thousands of small businesses and towns, much as GM bulldozed public transit) it has richly earned its scorn, but for reasons knee-jerks of either stripe could never understand.

One good thing: the more it turns to consultants and PR types the more it screws itself up.

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

Why is it when things go wrong the Pentagon's brass asses MUST turn to PR?

You do not counter dishonesty with dishonesty.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

How many people are now mad that they can't infringe copyrights on YouTube?

Good idea, Larry and Sergey!

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The cable conspiracy, the reemerging phone monopoly, the cellphone nuisance biz and the Bugmeister are engaged in an arms race to nuke our checkbooks, and somebody's got to go broke first.

Posted 7:00 AM by Gene

Black Democrats support Steele

Who says con-SER-va-tive news hacks can't campaign too?

Posted 6:58 AM by Gene

The Divorce of the Century gets messier -- and costlier!

We do like to see these things. Why shouldn't people who earn more in one day than most people earn in their whole lives get a little grief?

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

We wonder what's behind the ASSociated Press referring to China's "legislature" (ah, nomenclature), but said body is said to have "approved" a new method of reviewing death penalties, meaning (we presume) the government can merely torture and kill indiscriminately with a higher level of approval.

This "reform" resulted from several sensational miscarriages of justice, which will happen in a nation butchering its own people.

Posted 9:24 PM by Gene

We see the world's friendliest oil company has accepted the blame for a horrific blast last year in Texas. BP 's the sort of outfit that can "take full responsibility" but somehow can never be responsible.

Posted 9:18 PM by Gene

More enervating news from the White House:

President Bush has tapped Emilio Estefan Jr., the Grammy-winning producer and husband of singer Gloria Estefan, to serve on the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts board of trustees, the White House said Monday.

A Cuban refugee, Estefan has worked on albums for Latin music's most significant crossover artists, including Shakira, Ricky Martin and Jennifer Lopez. He is already member of the President's Committee on the Arts and Humanities.

The board of trustees is headed by the current and former first ladies and has members from Congress, the government of the District of Columbia and those picked by the president, among others.

Bush also nominated billionaire casino mogul Steve Wynn and former Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta to serve as board members. Wynn opened a $2.7 billion resort and casino in Las Vegas last year and in September opened a $1 billion hotel-casino in Macau, a Chinese territory.

Mineta, the only Democrat to serve in Bush's Cabinet, stepped down in July. His six years as secretary made him the longest-serving head of the department since it was formed in 1967.

Bush also selected investor Elliott Broidy, AOL founding executive James Kimsey and real estate developer Sheldon Kamins.

In September, Broidy hosted a fundraiser with Bush at his Beverly Hills home. The event was expected to raise $1.3 million for the Republican National Committee.

So -- he chooses a pop star's husband, a zillionaire, a few other Richie Riches, and a man who defined PC. The Bush Administration marches down.

Posted 6:00 PM by Gene

A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whisky. As the barman's pouring it the cowboy looks about him.

'Where is everybody?' he says.

'Gone to the hanging,' says the barman.

'Hanging?' says the cowboy. 'Who they hanging?'

'Brownpaper Pete,' replies the barman.

'Brownpaper Pete? Why do they call him that?'

'Well,' says the barman. 'His hat's made of brown paper, his shirt's made of brown paper, his jacket's made of brown paper and his trousers are made of brown paper.'

'Really?' says the cowboy. 'What they hanging him for?'

'Rustling.'

I think I'll stick with blogging. It's funnier.

(Also via ArtsJournal)

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

GREAT: Mitt may pick Jeb as his veep.

Isn't TWO Bushes enough?

Posted 3:51 PM by Gene

The good news is what's done in television could do in Web video -- COMMERCIALS. I reluctantly tried to play one on Yahoo! and got a 30-second ad from Toyota. I clicked OFF. I know this sort of thing is common but it still has MR. WARNER BROS.'S grimy paws all over it. If He and other Web gods think they can use the TV MODEL on the Web they'll be lucky if their stocks move sideways.

Posted 1:05 PM by Gene

Alas, PINCH's Boston edition has avoided a strike, but it cannot avoid declining circulation.

Posted 12:00 PM by Gene

We're for anything that proves SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are no better than JEFF GREENFIELD.

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

Rep. Hunter Exploring Presidential Run

Don't quit your day job!

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

So -- you're saying for us to get all this brilliant NEW MUSIC in this SUPERMEGAPLATINUM AGE OF CULTURE, we have "to comb through lots of really bad stuff"?

Why must entertainment be a CHORE?

(Also via ArtsJournal)

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

ROGER SAYS EINSTEIN'S ABOUT TO BE CANCELED!!!!!

Smart thinking!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

“Unfortunately, I don’t think the public really cares. It can get word out, but it can’t get people to want to see your film. People just yawn. And sometimes it reeks of desperation, too.”

It is to soon to write off the orgy of contempt for the public that is publicity, but perhaps it explains why so much of our superiors' product can't sell anymore.

(Via ArtsJournal)

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

The more "RISK" in TV, the more likely reporters will quote Fred Allen saying "imitation is the sincerest form of television."

And another plus to serial TV: if you get any viewers hooked and you cancel after three episodes they'll swear never to watch your network again!

This Villanova student has it right: "You can’t spend your life watching television." That would NEVER occur to TV ad-blurbists.

And maybe in the end that's why serial TV failed: Perhaps the viewers sensed that all these superexpensive, superproduced, superacted, superwritten and superdirected masterpieces were just another clever way of getting their no-longer-gullible selves to stay for the ADS.

(Second link via ArtsJournal. Why doesn't Bill Carter become an exec himself? He has the PERFECT mentality. I wonder -- is he Carter of Sitcomdom?)

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

WHO IS CARTER OF SITCOMDOM?

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

If it's BAD it's in AD...AGE: Unilever talks itself into thinking it got zillions of hits and tons of spin for a "viral video" (that term is quickly working up the ladder of irritating buzzwords like METROSEXUAL) for Dove and some "Self-Esteem Fund." (P. T. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR-NUM!) Says some "VP-marketing shared services", "Because we're out to influence pop culture, you see our brands taking very distinctive points of view. ... Dove has taken a stand that real beauty comes in all sizes, shapes and colors, that real beauty can be very stunning, and that there are a lot of beauty myths out there that perpetuate low self-esteem."

And we wonder why business is full of KennyBoys.

Posted 6:59 AM by Gene

Maybe the cakewalk into Congress won't be that easy: the head of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee is smoking.

Shouldn't she be tossed from the party?

Posted 6:53 AM by Gene

How much of the money St. Louisians will pay for decades to ensure their teams win unimportant sports like baseball could have gone to making their city safer?

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

You know how anytime anything bad (read good) happens in Iraq or Afghanistan the hacks cart out the magic word "GRIM"? Well, GREG must have been banging his head over the weekend because one of his help used the word to define NEWSPAPER CIRCULATION. Now of course GREG wouldn't see any connection, but we say, the more you smile when you say GRIM the more you may NOT have reason to smile.

Posted 4:24 PM by Gene

This is the kind of ironic-jokey thing news hacks insist on writing, and which helps explain why most news writing reeks; nonetheless I discern an elegiacal spirit to this Baywatch tribute. Popular TV shows always had strong ensemble casts, from I Love Lucy on. But the ensemble is difficult machinery to assemble, and with modern TV the gears lie all over the place. Baywatch could not have clicked in syndication without its uniformly (and sometimes risibly) telegenic cast. No one would call it art, but eye candy does have its place. The problem is entertainment doesn't know how to deliver the simple pleasure anymore; it must give us EINSTEIN -- or filth.

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Okay, why did this year's Series earn a well-deserved record-low TV audience? Possibly because the game is dull, for starters. Who wants to watch three hours of pitchers spitting and grabbing their crotches and fondling rosin bags and mopping their brows and catchers crouching and fiddling with their signs and coaches fiddling with their signs and runners trying not to be picked off and umpires dusting home plate and outfielders just standing there? And sure Bill, maybe Bud's the best thing to happen to baseball, but he also invented the SeligSign™, and who wants to watch a three-hour infomercial behind the batter's box on top of all the boredom?

Most to the point, like other institutions that became TV-crazed, baseball has lost its soul. Miss America is the classic example, having gone from a certain kitschy larger-than-life melodrama to robotics. America's Former Pastime may be, as Zelig's always telling us, healthier than ever; but much of its health comes from RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest comes from Brian Robber and the cable conspiracy, not to mention the hack pols giving our tax dollars away. Take away that health and you've got a ghostly creature living in the past.

There might be one other reason: most people just don't care.

Note too the heading, and the URL. They say it all.

Posted 12:17 PM by Gene

House Majority Leader John Boehner says he might have taken matters into his own hands if he or any GOP leader had known about ex-Rep. Mark Foley's sexually explicit instant messages to former pages.

Look BEHIND you, King Denny!

Posted 10:50 AM by Gene

Environment Secretary David Miliband has drawn up a wide-ranging package of green taxes designed to change people's behaviour in a bid to offset global warming.

His proposals, in a leaked letter to Gordon Brown, include hikes on fuel and air passenger duty as well as increased road tax for drivers of the most polluting vehicles.

Here's something the Democrats can campaign on!

Posted 10:26 AM by Gene

AmSpec is in an uproar because "Michael Savage" gave money to Mr. Moonbeam.

How soon they forgot Morton Downey Jr. You have to wonder how many others of the loudmouths are fakes. We wouldn't be surprised if someday Tarzana announces she's a closet liberal. If we can't trust the hacks we have less reason to trust these professional sulfur emitters.

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

The saintly MODERATE former president of Iran would condone torture?

Ayatollahs forfend!

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

Yesterday appeared a story by the StinkyInky's resident Real-TOR® (whose last name MUST be Heavens) saying how Center City's BETTER THAN EVER!!!!! thanks to all those $20 million condos still going up. And its population is SOARING -- to 88,000!!!!! Which, if the Census Bureau is correct, means 1,380,000 Philthydelphians DON'T live in Center City, and most of them DON'T live in condos. And the city's population's STILL declining. With stories like this the newsman tries to flatter his reader (not to mention the ad dollars going elsewhere). This reader resisted the flattery in part because he fears he'll never afford another downtown apartment again. To add to the misery the inaptly named Heavens quotes this spokespoop named Levy who has become to Philthydelphia what PAUL DRECK is to the movie business, providing snappy, optimistic, irritating sound bites. Such damnable press releases (among other reasons) are why I hope the upcoming strike against StinkyInky Publishing Co. will be a long, bitter and costly one, and that so many people will be so happy about not bothering with a daily newspaper they'll never read the StinkyInky or its stub tabloid edition again.

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

I've been using Bugmeister's NEW! IMPROVED!! IE7 for over a week now, and can say it is at least slightly better than 6. Viewing tabbed windows and the zoom and print functions are neat-o. There are a few glitches, though, most having to do with my FAVORITE blogging service: when you want to use the link button Bill pops up in blue asking permission (one of those ActiveX thingies), and when you're on the Edit Posts page you can't click on the body of each entry to see the contents. I guess Larry and Sergey were too busy carting more senescent machines into their server barns to notice. I'd bet it will be weeks before they're fixed, if ever.

I'm still very much thinking of moving my blog, but lately I've gotten ten hits a day instead of eight, and I don't like the notion of starting from scratch.

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

EMI Music Publishing, with over 1 million songs in its catalog, has quietly begun amassing equity positions in Broadway musicals featuring its songs, The Post has learned.

Oh, NO! MORE JUKEBOX MUSICALS!!!!!

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

Despite the vast assortment of fruits and nuts the Democrats could prove a palliative in the House. On the other hand, if they're like the Republicans before them, they could get mad and get even, and given some of their shy retiring types we should expect that. Then the Republicans come back to office, and it's shaft the public all over again.

Posted 8:05 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Shucks, if only I could have let Dick know, we could have bid on this.

Posted 7:57 AM by Gene

"We're losing, but all isn't lost." Glad to hear you say that, LittleJon. We know your first instinct would have been to omit those last four words, but if we do that we look like the ossified superliberal nose-in-the-airs everyone knows we are, not that we care if people complain -- heck, Mr. Mark still thinks the Koran-in-the-toilet story was okay; hell, we could justify the HITLER DIARIES -- and, as we've said before, thank God (meaning ST. WARREN) for coffee tables. The problem is, LittleJon, with such stories there's a fine line between realism and hoping. We gave up thinking your profession is realistic a long time ago, and we sense that, deep down inside, it's hoping.

So if an Iraqi force of -- INSURGENTS blows up a dirty bomb in one of our cities, your biz won't entirely be able not to take credit.

At least you used ONE cover this time, by the way. After the flag in the trash can and ANNIE we're paying PERMANENT ATTENTION.