Posted 3:06 PM by Gene

'Munich' is pure hooey, say real Israeli agents

Which did not prevent news hacks and the effete snobs of movie ad-blurb writing from calling it a masterpiece, nor would it prevent other effete snobs from awarding it the universe's highest honor, the BEST-PIC-TYURE OS-CAR®.

Nor has it prevented the film from bombing at the box office.

What if they held an OS-CAR® ceremony and no one watched?

P. S. Meantime the hooey-writing CO-SCENARIST of the BEST-PIC-TYURE OS-CAR® WINNER complains, "DEY'RE TUWNING MY FILWM INTO A CAHWTOON! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

First off, your direc-TOR specializes in live-action Road Runners. Second, you should know what Harry Truman said: if you can't stand the heat, get out of the oven.

Posted 2:59 PM by Gene

THE WORLD'S GREATEST BLOGGER AND TRUTHSEEKER takes 4,448 WORDS to state a sentence's worth of truth: that JERNALISM cannot be taught, that it certainly cannot be taught by the Columbia School of JERNALISM, that the profession attracts like minds, and no amount of hammering and sawing and chiselling can modify them.

Would this GREAT BLOGGER, who has been known for his -- hubris on occasion, suggest bloggers can totally assume the responsibilities of JERNALISM? We think he would. And so long as JERNALISTS or bloggers have their hubris, we'll have our lies.

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

When the abnormal becomes normal, how do we get our normality back?

Posted 2:40 PM by Gene

We all feel sorry for that poor whale, but what compels our sympathy to well up for a mere creature when it wouldn't for a fellow human being?

Posted 10:40 PM by Gene

Meantime we hacks have covered all bases, running a plug for "blogs" that plug movies (most run by pros, or sycophants, or both) and waste our time telling us of the genius of 1939, genius that the average person may resent having to hear about, as the year may not be 1939, except for the character of its villains.

Posted 10:38 PM by Gene

God we news hacks can fervently hope this story conforms to our prejudices -- you know, police chief white, victim black, for if it doesn't we probably won't report on it any more.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

This is why screaming like Chris Matthews' (sorry for the David "L. as in Liar" Brock), and screaming on such screaming, riles me. Both sides want to so polemicize America we can't talk politically without screaming. Both sides blast the EVIL of such acts only when the other side does it. Moreover there are too many cheerleaders trying to work up their sides into murderous anger, and I am sorry, more of a few of them must secretly entertain hopes of a Second Civil War. And who's to say it couldn't happen? As I posted before,

[S]ome have blamed the Civil War on a woman. And the murder of some silly archduke in a country that no one heard of led to most of the last century's catastrophes. Who's to say today's intolerant ninnies can't lead us to total destruction?

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

The flacks at USAOKAY!!!!! must be MAD because thousands of other NEWS HACKS want to grab hold of some of that SUPER BOWL AD BOOTY, which means non-stop plugging and insulting of our intelligence, and the hacks wouldn't have it any other way.

Posted 4:54 PM by Gene

Consider this a warning:

The eagerly awaited film of “Dreamgirls,” based on the hit Broadway musical of the same name, is set to hit movie theatres across the country on Dec. 22.

We just had two flop musicals expire on us -- Lala Boheme and THE GREATEST MUSICAL OF ALL TIME. Join the crowd.

Posted 4:52 PM by Gene

Tony Franciosa, the Italian James Dean of the small screen, has died. RIP.

Posted 4:41 PM by Gene

The news hacks are reporting in their typical one-voice-one-folk-one-Reich-one-Fuhrer mode that G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE closed below $400 (!!!!!) because the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL DUBYA is out to SPY ON US. Of course it has NOTHING to do with the fact that it was at $475 just over a week ago, or that it's become a new tulip mania, or that Yahoo! had trouble with its targets, or that LITTLE JEFFY once again demonstrated his inferiority to the MASTER LEGENDARY WELCH. Heck even one of the sales -- ANALYSTS says its fiscal impact is zero. But it's a nice way of blowing off steam, especially when companies that seldom have a bad day in their lives have one, and they're on our side.

Posted 2:03 PM by Gene

In more A-PLAGUE-O'-BOTH-YOUR-HOUSES news, the RED-STATE SCORPION's father lashes out at ROSIE'S NEPHEW for making fun of the family name.

Let's see: Jack's a criminal sleazeball, and a typo could turn Rosie's Nephew's last name to Looney. NUF SAID.

(Via USAOKAY!!!!!)

Posted 1:56 PM by Gene

The inevitable ROMY does it again:

Who's CNN's next big hire?
Snidely Whiplash?

Bring back MIKE KINSLEY and BOB NOVAK!

Posted 1:30 PM by Gene

A lawsuit for plagiarizing a [C]RAP may not be the wisest thing, as all three words are in the public domain.

Posted 11:26 AM by Gene

"Maybe with my death the families and the people can go on with their lives and not waste energy wondering why I was still alive."

Good idea!

Posted 10:55 AM by Gene

Corporate America has discovered a kinder, gentler form of outsourcing.

TRANSLATION: I SAY IT'S SPINACH....

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

"Just go back to the ’90s, with the 'Clinton Chronicles,' Hillary is a lesbian, Bill and Hillary are drug dealers, Bill and Hillary left a trail of bodies. You have a talk radio that has been breast-fed on 'Hillary and Bill are murderers' and radicalized by a thug like Rush Limbaugh, with the crumbs swept up by a junior thug like Sean Hannity. And then somebody wants to ask me if I’m being a little bit strong in saying that John Ashcroft and the Patriot Act are totally, totally destroying constitutional government in this country?"

A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

LEGENDARY WELCH's mistr -- wife will be writing a new advice column for BizWeek, in which she -- He answers the question, "How can I become a big mean nasty critically-acclaimed zillion-dollar-earning fixture on the pages of business rags in three easy steps?" Simple: 1. Fire half a million people; 2. Declare yourself irreplaceable and pay yourself a commensurate salary; 3. Hire legions of sycophants like JOHN BYRNE.

Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

Shucks, another singer of songs and teller of truths bites the dust:

It wasn't because of the song "Columbia Is Bleeding." That song is actually about animal testing at Columbia University, not about the Sony Music subsidiary for which McKay recorded and with whom she had a contentious relationship with from day one. (Her debut included a song with the line "should have signed with Verve instead of Sony.")

And it wasn't because of "The Big One," which laments the gentrification of the Harlem neighborhood in which McKay grew up and addresses the 1989 murder of family friend and tenants rights activist Bruce Bailey. Or because of "Cupcake," which sings the praises of gay marriage.

What brought things to loggerheads was that McKay wanted a 23-song, 65-minute version of "Pretty Little Head," while Columbia wanted a 16-song, 48-minute version.

Sometimes I guess being critically-acclaimed isn't good enough. God knows they're not good.

P. S. I guess Richard "Social Security" Harrington's by-line means Robert "Over the" Hilburn's due for a second coming. Geez.

Posted 6:45 AM by Gene

Harry "The Shrimp" Reid apologizes for mocking the tired old tradition of Senate "collegiality."

Isn't that what fund raising's all about?

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

And how short is the runway at the Miss, er, Vegas pageant? One step and you're in Asia.

P. S. Push a button near a statue of Bert Parks outside the Miss, er, Vegas Pageant's headquarters and it sings "There She Is." Push a button on something called a Weinert and it fraaaaaaaps:

"Losing an institution like Miss America could enhance the perception among some people that Atlantic City is a loser. At the same time, ATLANTIC CITY IS PROGRESSING IN BIG STRIDES TOWARD BECOMING A YOUNGER, HIPPER, COOLER DESTINATION!!!!!!!!!! IT COULD BE ARGUED THAT SHEDDING WHAT MANY SEE AS AN OUTDATED INSTITUTION COULD ACTUALLY BOOST ATLANTIC CITY'S EMERGING IMAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vegas is merely AC with PR.

Posted 6:39 AM by Gene

There is what passes for a big stink in Hollywood as some allegedly big-name actresses wore recycled dresses.

Why not? The biz recycles movies.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

And speaking of MBAs, DR. EVIL spins again.

We suggest the Dr. would have been Jack Abramoff but that it would have looked bad.

Posted 4:53 PM by Gene

Let's connect some dots:

MBAs are hot, again....

The $106,000 salary and signing bonus was up 13.5% from 2004, according to a GMAC survey of 5,829 2005 grads. Salary alone increased to $88,600, surpassing the previous high of $85,400 set in 2001. The 2005 salary still trails 2001 by about $4,000 when adjusted for inflation, but the inflation-adjusted record will likely be broken this year.

-----------------------------------------

Nearing a diploma, most college students cannot handle many complex but common tasks, from understanding credit card offers to comparing the cost per ounce of food.

Those are the sobering findings of a study of literacy on college campuses, the first to target the skills of students as they approach the start of their careers.

More than 50% of students at four-year schools and more than 75% at two-year colleges lacked the skills to perform complex literacy tasks.

That means they could not interpret a table about exercise and blood pressure, understand the arguments of newspaper editorials, compare credit card offers with different interest rates and annual fees or summarize results of a survey about parental involvement in school.

Okay, the MBAs aren't quite the same as the four-year gang. Then again they had to get their high-toned Babbitty degrees somewhere, and no doubt in the course of their super-fast progressions up the corporate ladder (which often end in a do-nothing middle rung) they take their college-educated philistinism with them, so that while the average uneducated college student may only have trouble with charts and editorials, the super-duper gee-whiz Babbitt has a chance of implementing his philistinism. Every day sees a new abuse of the public by corporate America, an abuse impossible without the MBA's unappetizing blend of superegoism and uneducation -- and corporate America is as rife with fraud as with MBAs. The academic-industrial complex can't teach, and in a business with its own caste system it can't teach in different ways.

Posted 1:21 PM by Gene

ASININE:

Barry Ritholtz, chief investment officer with Ritholtz Capital Partners, a hedge fund that focuses on media and technology stocks, adds that the biggest benefit of owning NBC is that it helps GE control its image and present itself in a favorable light. (His firm does not have a position in GE.)

"The value of NBC hasn't been its bottom line impact or the amount of cash throws off. It is having a mouthpiece that protects GE. It enables the company to maintain and control its own public relations," Ritholtz said.

LEGENDARY WELCH may have had this in His evil mind when He bought His network, perhaps envisioning a buffer between His defense biz and bad PR, a neat excuse to get into show-biz; but even then He was turning His company into an S & L, so what was the point? GE BANCORP AND REALTY ENTERTAINMENT turns out enough bad publicity in its own right; between junky sitcoms and two HYPER-PC Oscar® nominees it works mightily to disprove the notion that any publicity is good publicity.

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

Sen. Leahy to oppose Alito nomination
Vermont Democrat says he doesn't feel judge will be independent of Bush

Even after he leaves the White House?

Posted 11:19 AM by Gene

The CHEAP CHANNEL biz fights satradio fire with...uh, hi-def hot air?

In December, several major radio groups -- including Clear Channel, CBS, Emmis, Entercom, Greater Media, Bonneville and Citadel -- created the HD Radio Alliance. The radio groups put aside their typical cutthroat competitive spirits to coordinate their multicast HD2 channels to create the greatest diversity of formats, so there wouldn’t be, for example, four country stations and three soft rock HD2 stations in New York.

WHICH WILL HAPPEN ANYWAY.

Posted 11:07 AM by Gene

``Dave Marash is a superb reporter,'' Koppel said. ``I think if he feels in any way that he is being used or misused by Al-Jazeera, I'm sure he'll leave as quickly as he has signed on, but I'm not worried about Dave Marash. You shouldn't be, either.''

Then, Koppel added: ``I know it's fashionable just to look upon Al-Jazeera as being a propaganda outlet for Al-Qaida. But, you know, Tom and I have been covering the Middle East for many, many years, and all I can tell you is Al-Jazeera is a huge step up from where the Arab world's journalism has been over the past 40 years.''

1. You said Henry the K was a superb secretary of state too, frequently to his face. 2. Sometimes the fashionable has an inconvenient way of also being true. 3. We look upon that huge step up much as the elephant might look on an army of ants scaling a sugar cube.

We thought we'd run this now that The Osama Channel gang has issued another press release. Hope you were on top of the cheer -- STORY, Dave!

Posted 11:01 AM by Gene

Little Malcolm's elixir for eternal youth: have a new seventy-something colyumnist interview an eighty-something author.

Sczzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzintillating.

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

"'This could be on any network.'"

The troubles of Discovery Communications Inc. are a distant-early-warning alarm for show-biz. Once the execs are left on their own devices they turn to lowest-common-denominator programming -- and shucks, it might not even play on cable, despite an audience that can be maddeningly forgiving. No, to use a bit of jargon from show-biz, our phenomenal impatience with the wizards of Hollywood is a cross-platform thing.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tives will scream that this is the first battle in a war to make junk food illegal, and I definitely do NOT like Mike "Hot Line to the Newsroom" Jacobsen, but outfits like the Movie Studio in Battle Creek have nobody to blame but themselves: Kellogg's, which started out as a health-food concern, more than any other food company save Mickey D's has become the symbol for over-reliance on junk television, throwing the waste matter of Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera into the public's face for decades, using its notoriously condescending ads to adults to trumpet its superiority over its mere customers, and now the company's paying for it, as finally perhaps it's reached a critical mass with us peons that we don't like paying $10 for cotton-candy cereals that bring on health problems. Tough bupkus, BIG K.

P. S. This outfit has a former SUMNER cog on its team. That man is a crook with a PR agency.

P. P. S.

FOOD NAZIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

David "300" Bauder (that's a joke, son) does it again:

Clarkson has become a major star in the past year, with her hit "Since U Been Gone" earning both massive sales and critical respect....

Listen 300 Baud-er, you may think typing like that gets you into the Reporters' Hall of Fame, or whatever men's room they hang the awards in, but I don't like being talked down to like that, even if it's a specialty of you news hacks -- to treat us peons as though we don't exist, even if we inconveniently do, as you burn our advertising dollars and our cable fees and our subscriptions on your six-digit emoluments, and your atrocious writing. I guess just using words like "major" and "massive" and "critical respect" does the trick. Hey! I can do that too! I can say my blog is a major influence with a massive following and has earned critical respect among my fellow bloggers. Unfortunately it wouldn't make it any more true. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to YOU, 300 BAUD-ER, and SHUT UP.

Posted 4:45 PM by Gene

Nothing happened to G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE and its shares fell almost five percent. Imagine if something happened to it. If only.

Intel, Yahoo!, eBay, Steve Jobs's Religion -- all are proof that the tech bubble never ends.

Posted 2:54 PM by Gene

We see the great gray liquor-guzzling woman-nuzzling Alioto-bashing eminence from MASS had -- an encounter. And the product of this -- encounter has just acquired majority. We're not sure we like being privy to these lurid tales, especially tales reprinted in the National Enquirer; but with the Senator, you can't help it, especially when he gets on those moral bende -- crusades. Now a certain kind of knee-jerk liberal would not get exercised if this fatso committed -- well, if he did something for which he'd oppose the death penalty, and were America's head screwed on right people would demand his resignation for his cumulative affronts to the body politic (and other bodies); but most likely this force of TRUTH and RIGHT can run for re-election until they have to cart him onto the Senate floor in a cryonic chamber, or until his liver gives out, whichever comes first, and we don't expect it to.

Nor do we expect any news hacks to give this circulation, because the shoe is on the wrong foot.

(Via -- oh well -- the FREEPERS)

Posted 12:28 PM by Gene

It's official -- Iran has become -- an EMERGENCY.

Pffh-hh-hh!

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

“[News outlets] should not allow reporters to cover things where their interests are at stake,” Carlson said. “That’s lying.”

Do this and you'd have nothing but ads -- which may not be a bad thing.

(Via the invincible ROMY)

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

We don't know who are the greatest monkeys: these guys or the banana-eaters who insist spending $100 trillion on the Super Bowl and the GE BANCORP and REALTY GAMES will improve their standing -- or the hacks who insist the monkeys spending $100 trillion are doing a good thing.

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

And speaking of The Cute Little Pink Paper that Loses $2 Million a Year, they had a good -- cry because we -- the DEMOCRATS could have Borked Judge "Alioto" if we'd -- THEY'D asked tough questions, instead of giving all that quality camera time to SCHOOOOO-MUH!

The good news, Chuckie, is your face is safe.

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

BIGMEDIA's come up with a PC way of attacking the liar junkie zillionaire Oprah boytoy: by likening him to the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL DUBYA!

Well, anything beats awards.

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

So long as its citizens have delusions of world conquest through terrorism, Saudi Arabia will have enough oil.

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

Are this year's Golden Globes a watershed?

Or are news hacks once again drowning in their own self-importance?

Posted 6:51 AM by Gene

From the trendy land of the appeasing CHICKENS, who always tell GRINGOS how superior they are to mere COWBOYS:

Spanish authorities said Wednesday they have arrested 33 people -- including teachers, business executives a doctor and a priest -- for allegedly acquiring and distributing child pornography on the Internet.

Hey ZAP! Why isn't that legal? Isn't getting mad at child porn merely being JUDGMENTAL?

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

The Potemkin village of pro football gets into the FIGHTING SPIRIT:

A Detroit woman was accused of scamming Super Bowl fans out of $42,000 by selling 105 fake tickets.

Detroit police said the woman, 49-year-old Karen Reed, claimed to be a Ford Field employee and charged $400 per person for the Feb. 5 game. Police said that Reed was not associated in any way with Ford Field, the Detroit Lions or the National Football League.

Rah rah!

Posted 2:01 PM by Gene

Neuharth to Be Inducted Into Advertising Hall of Fame

A SUPERB choice, especially for all the ads he's run as news stories in USAOKAY!!!!!

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

Well, that's looking on the bright side:

"The use of the word 'plantation' is terribly unwise," said Larry Sabato, director of the University of Virginia's Center for Politics. "It will just reinforce the view most Americans have of Hillary Clinton as being very liberal."

It could have been worse, Sabato added: "At least she didn't mention Hitler."

Posted 12:03 PM by Gene

HOW TO REBUILD NAWLANS: Someone proposes a National Jazz Museum (UGH). Somebody does him one better and suggests a museum for the City of Nawlans. I've got a better idea: turn the WHOLE CITY into a museum!

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

The Jomhuri-e-Eslami newspaper said Tuesday that CNN correspondent Christiane Amanpour was a "CIA and Mossad agent with a bad record" who should be barred from Iran.

Wait a second! If she's a "CIA and Mossad agent with a bad record" doesn't that mean she's doing YOUR bidding?

Posted 10:24 AM by Gene

Supreme Court Upholds Oregon Assisted Suicide Law

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! WE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or is this another of those mind-boggling technicalities?

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

Sen. Fatso Glub-Glub has quit that private club that wouldn't admit women, meaning we'll never about it from NEWS HACKS.

(Via, oh well, the Freep)

Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

CNN allowed to resume work in Iran after apology

Well that didn't take long. We may presume Iran saw the benefits that accrued to Saddam -- and that Christiane did the necessary abject begging.

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

"It's taking you an entire week to capsize your presidential hopes for '08. It's been done before and done better by yours truly!"

Still you have to give the old gasbag credit for trying.

Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

It's the Globes. Everyone Wins.

Guess who loses.

This is a sales meeting, really — a grand and glamorous one, such as Enron never threw.

I wouldn't say that with the biz' ethics and accounting.

P. S. The bad news: the ratings were up. The good news: the ratings were up modestly, meaning an arthouse movie is still an arthouse movie.

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

Shucks, more cruel and unusual punishment, for a man who cruelly and unusually punished several people.

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

The latest argument is the new Chief Justice and his Justice-in-Waiting are stupid. We've heard many arguments thrown about like discarded toys to disqualify these men, but this is a first. With their JDs it is hard to believe they're stupid. But the hard-to-believe is a common commodity in the news biz.

Ay, but here's the real nub:

In a provocative essay in the November 2005 Harvard Law Review, Richard Posner, a federal appeals court judge appointed by Ronald Reagan, makes an even more unvarnished version of that argument. Much of the high court's constitutional decision making, Posner asserts, is inherently political.

That's why I call them the Nine Fingers; their decisions twist not-so-slowly in the wind of public fickleness. That's why you may want a liberal judge, and I a conservative; we agree with their politics. Of course the more we decide we want our favorite flavors on the court the less likely we'll have real justice. And that requires less thinking than Winnie the Pooh -- or a newspaper colyumnist.

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

Iraq: 99 Percent of Voting Was Valid

Can we Americans say that?

Posted 4:52 PM by Gene

And why is it when the CIA of MOUNTAIN VIEW puts up one of its "special" logos it always looks vaguely -- androidenal?

Posted 3:02 PM by Gene

I guess I was wrong about the IDIOTS at the CIA of MOUNTAIN VIEW -- Blog Search is still down for me -- but I'm getting hits lately from St. Warren's family of media properties, which makes me wish more BIGMEIDA sites had links to blogs; I might get some attention. Well, I do appreciate the links, even if I don't quite appreciate the properties.

I must repeat something I said before: if I could make money from my writing I'd stop blogging.

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

How does somone so stupid manage to operate a computer?

Simple. By being a VOICE OF RIGHT. By being a BLOGGER.

Alas, you'd seem to prove the point with the "somone."

Posted 2:31 PM by Gene

Speaking of the SUPES, Andy S. becomes a WHOLLY-OWNED SUBSIDIARY of PEOPLE WARNER tomorrow. "No need to update your bookmarks." Yeah, right. PEOPLE WARNER MAGAZINES will plaster you all over its sites. Some sense of humor, Andy.

He's also appearing on Comedy Central's Face the Nation tomorrow, which tells me he's just MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM with an EDGE.

Posted 2:20 PM by Gene

SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are DANCING IN THE STREETS shouting, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! WE EXPOSE A FRAUD!!!!!!!!!!" That this picture was staged means nothing. Dozens of staged photos appeared in the news each day. Heck could some Web sites exist without PHOTOSHOP? And we are supposed to be shocked that the hillbillies of Asia engage in psy-ops? They're rank amateurs next to the people who send videos to The Osama Channel each day. If PAPEROFRE-CORD.COM committed a wrong by running a staged photo, SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS did themselves no right by gloating as though they'd discovered another superscript. We have reason enough now to dislike BOTH sides.

P. S. If the SUPES had read the credit they'd have seen this didn't come from the PAPER OF RE-CORD, but from the third-rate AGENCE FRANCE PRESSE, which IS easily fooled.

Posted 12:02 PM by Gene

SOOOOOO, we run all these hoity-toity artsy-fartsy movies-ARE-better-than-ever reviews because THE CONSPIRACY is one of the top-five sources of our revenue stream!

Such independent, courageous writing You run, YOUR HOLINESS PINCH!

(Via IWantMedia.com)

Posted 11:41 AM by Gene

More APT phrasing from Playbill.com:

South Pacific to Wash Ashore at Lincoln Center Theatre in 2007-08

Like seaweed? Or driftwood? Or a dead body?

Today musical thea-TAH greatly resembles the last.

Posted 11:29 AM by Gene

By his own admission, "American Idol" talent-show host Ryan Seacrest can't act. He has yet to demonstrate any dancing or singing chops and is routinely bested by judge Simon Cowell in the wit department.

But as the Fox TV hit returns tomorrow for season five, Seacrest is among its biggest successes. With clout gained from the show, he struck a multimillion-dollar cable deal he sees as the cornerstone of a business styled on that of his own idol, Dick "American Bandstand" Clark.

A good choice; Dick Clark couldn't do anything either, though he later acquired a grand talent to boss people.

Posted 11:23 AM by Gene

Thousands of mentally ill people vanish every year, barely noticed except by families and friends

Not exactly: many of them wind up on the streets as tramps and beggars. But if the authorities deign to help them NEWS HACKS scream FIRST AMENDMENT and THOREAU and RIGHTS, and the poor basket cases languish on the street as ever. The mentally ill are a means society can have it both ways.

Posted 11:17 AM by Gene

That deafening SQUEAK-SQUEAK from St. Pete is Romy shaking his bobblehead VIGOROUSLY at a MEDIA PROF. Said media prof's a bigot, and it's amazing how we superliberals come to the rescue of bigots. This blogger can't stand RUSH, the NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE or SEAN. Neither can he stand bigots who would wipe conservatives off the map, if they could.

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

We fear the producers of this expose on the cooks behind JACK'S SECRET-RECIPE ALPHABET SOUP may have undercut their case by making a PC whodunit. Nonetheless, we hope the master chefs sue. But isn't it odd how the same people who are forever lecturing us on the merits of democracy shut their yaps and close their doors when democracy tries to hit THEIR business?

Posted 10:47 AM by Gene

EFFETE EDELSTEIN MAKES HIS PRINT-RAG DEBUT! And unfortunately, it is not a rave. He will not make Adam happy without raves. But he'll have plenty of opportunities to prove himself, and we've no doubt he'll come through, again and again.

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

How apt (and how insulting to Dr. King) that on this day we celebrate the waste of Marion Barry, who has lived the last "25 years" in a drug- and alcohol-induced haze, even as we endorsed him for mayor three times. This man and the WaPost's rah-rahs set black America's cause back by years. I don't think this is precisely what the Rev. had in mind.

Posted 7:36 PM by Gene

"Twenty-four hours after I told CBS News that I was stepping down at my 65th birthday I was already regretting it and I've regretted it every day since," he said. "It's too good a job for me to have given it up the way that I did."

That's okay, Uncle HHHHHWWWWalt -- sooner or later you'd have had your font moment and you wouldn't have had to retire.

Posted 7:02 PM by Gene

The Republican Party has no SPINE! It's showing great conservatives like Bob Ney the DOOR -- letting all these comsymps and Hitlerys and terrorists dictate GOP policy. We're a BUNCH OF WIMPS!! We're....

Uhhh....

BRIBERY SHOULD BE LEGAL!!

Posted 2:08 PM by Gene

It appears G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's zillionaires have turned our Blog Search back on. The question is, why did they have to turn it OFF?

Posted 2:00 PM by Gene

Jonny scratches his head again (we're coming close to making fun of his hair) and gets mad because we have a CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS NO ONE NOTICES -- because a REPUBLICAN SENATE REFUSES TO CHOOSE LIBERAL JUSTICES...and an EVIL PRESIDENT THREATENS TO CASTRATE US!!!!!

Jonny, you guys have ruled the world for decades. You still rule the world. Why not let someone else have a chance for once?

Posted 12:53 PM by Gene

The Durban Conference, Part DEUX.



Is it us or does this guy look as though he's stepped out of a dopey Arab version of Get Smart?

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

Mssssssssssss. Pelosi (or rather her staffers and interns) does the statesman routine demanding Congressional oversight of intelligence.

Whassa matter, Msssssssssss.? Your bellowings on Iraq not polling well?

Posted 10:37 AM by Gene

Thankfully we haven't forgotten to tend to the REAL BUSINESS of GATHERING TRUTH:

The Republicans hope Tom DeLay's successor will repair their reputation, but the stink of the lobbying scandal clings hard to the G.O.P.

Just as the stink of publicity for publicity's sake clings to PEOPLE NEWSMAGAZINE?

Posted 10:35 AM by Gene

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!! Well LOOKEY HERE!! We've done ANOTHER BRUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can he SING???????????????????????????????????

WHY DO WE NEED TWO NEWSRAGS?

He could win an unprecedented five medals in Torino

TRANSLATION: Please, PRETTY please, WIN those metals so we don't look like the THREE BLIND MICE of NEWS we are!

Posted 10:32 AM by Gene

(Frey would not talk to NEWSWEEK.)

Which will never prevent us from doing him a great big smoochy favor, saying this is just a drop of water off a literary Niagara, just like the HITLER DIARIES, just like the KORAN DOWN THE TOILET.

Posted 10:28 AM by Gene

So that's why that dimwit skiier shot off his mouth! HE knew he'd make the cover of THE OFFICIAL NEWSWEEKLY OF THE GE BANCORP AND REALTY GAMES!

Let me guess which Financial God will have His own LUXURY BOXES. Praise the Lord He'll be flying there economy class.