THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Growth has always been America's birthright and saving grace.
JonBoy and his teacher's pet Norm Thomas's grandson are up to something. We think they're up to aping The Econowiz. But you do not reduce your circ and increase your rep by merely thinking you can do what another rag already does better. And JonBoy and Norm Thomas Grandson have a point: we don't want socialism but we want its spoils. So how do these two manage to say it so irritatingly? That's another thing; if The Econowiz said it it might not be so irritating.
JonBoy and his teacher's pet Norm Thomas's grandson are up to something. We think they're up to aping The Econowiz. But you do not reduce your circ and increase your rep by merely thinking you can do what another rag already does better. And JonBoy and Norm Thomas Grandson have a point: we don't want socialism but we want its spoils. So how do these two manage to say it so irritatingly? That's another thing; if The Econowiz said it it might not be so irritating.
I try not to pay too close attention to my hits, knowing they're usually somewhere between minuscule and nil, but lately I've gotten hope from an uptick. It turns out now it's because last April I posted a photo of this British beauty-pageant contestant. I can't fathom this current interest but I've learned she now has a Web site. First the Budweiser logo, now a pleasingly plump beauty-pageant contestant. Oh well, I'll take my hits however I can, but I wish they were for me, not accidents.
How apt: SLIME and GE BANCORP have gotten into a food fight over Jim BOOM BOOM Cramer, the former saying his stock picks are no good, the latter accusing the former of trying to prop up its microscopic business-news net. Let's say both sides are right and be done with it.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear, now The One's Toulouse-Lautrec has been arrested for making -- ART!
I do believe he could benefit from the STIMULUS too! How about it, Nancy? Keep him from "tagging"!
I do believe he could benefit from the STIMULUS too! How about it, Nancy? Keep him from "tagging"!
A-ROD doing steroids is no more perplexing to us than the AQUATIC GEEK doing a bong hit -- I mean, look at the biceps on his once significant other -- though it would be to those who still believe sports can be fair.
(Via DailyNooz.com)
(Via DailyNooz.com)
The RUPERT-adoring pop-culture-worshiping JPOD is upset:
And Now For Something Completely Horrifying
The television show Seinfeld premiered 20 years ago this July. Just in case you want to feel old.
You mean it's been that long since lives changed for the better?
And Now For Something Completely Horrifying
The television show Seinfeld premiered 20 years ago this July. Just in case you want to feel old.
You mean it's been that long since lives changed for the better?
Friday, February 06, 2009
INSULT OF THE WEEK:
David Fincher's loose adaptation of the F Scott Fitzgerald short story is a prime example of a film where subtle CGI work helps rather than hinders an audience to suspend their disbelief. But for every Lord of the Rings, there's a George Lucas movie lurking in that dark and deeply unrealistic corner [SIC]
David Fincher's loose adaptation of the F Scott Fitzgerald short story is a prime example of a film where subtle CGI work helps rather than hinders an audience to suspend their disbelief. But for every Lord of the Rings, there's a George Lucas movie lurking in that dark and deeply unrealistic corner [SIC]
Look BAWWWWWWWWWLMER, why should you start an entertainment Web site when you're already such dweebs in MUSIC?
Sorry, the way you practice it high-tech isn't show-biz for MENSA members.
Sorry, the way you practice it high-tech isn't show-biz for MENSA members.
Six bad banks in Georgia in six months! Is that a record -- or is it just that some climates are hothouses for reckless home building?
On the same day PEOPLE WARNER and PEOPLE, INC. relay to us the horror of Jennifer Aniston's gray hair, they inform us some more of the travails of Jessica Simpson's figure. Given how the TWXSTERS are still pondering a reverse split we may hear of this for a while longer.
It appears LALA is out to have TEN Mogul's Friends -- or as Pete must mourn:
Certainly for lovers of quality "Oscar movies," it's sad to see the third weekend of "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" outgrossing the likes of "Frost/Nixon," "Milk" and "The Reader" -- fine films with 18 academy nominations among them -- while playing on roughly the comparable number of screens. And don't even get me started on "Paul Blart: Mall Cop."
Perhaps someday Hollywood will find a way to merge its penchant for popcorn populist movies with its ego-driven desire to win Oscars.
"Paul Blart: Nazi Hunter," anyone?
NUMBER ONE, slasher porn has a large teen following, helped by non-enforcement of ST. JACK'S BOTULISM-LADEN ALPHABET SOUP. NUMBER TWO: Too many families use popcorn restaurants as a day care center. NUMBER THREE: Just because you hacks say a movie's good doesn't mean diddlysquat -- and even the moviegoing S&M phreaks don't like condescension. NUMBER FOUR: THANKS TO YOU HACKS AND YOUR FELLOW HACKS OF HOLLYWOOD QUALITY AND COMMERCIAL SUCCESS ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE -- AND AS LONG AS YOU WRITE BLURBS AND THEY WRITE SLASHER PORN, "FAMILY" MOVIES AND OS-CARS® THEY'LL STAY THAT WAY.
Why must we have TEN MOGUL'S FRIENDS at LALA?
Certainly for lovers of quality "Oscar movies," it's sad to see the third weekend of "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" outgrossing the likes of "Frost/Nixon," "Milk" and "The Reader" -- fine films with 18 academy nominations among them -- while playing on roughly the comparable number of screens. And don't even get me started on "Paul Blart: Mall Cop."
Perhaps someday Hollywood will find a way to merge its penchant for popcorn populist movies with its ego-driven desire to win Oscars.
"Paul Blart: Nazi Hunter," anyone?
NUMBER ONE, slasher porn has a large teen following, helped by non-enforcement of ST. JACK'S BOTULISM-LADEN ALPHABET SOUP. NUMBER TWO: Too many families use popcorn restaurants as a day care center. NUMBER THREE: Just because you hacks say a movie's good doesn't mean diddlysquat -- and even the moviegoing S&M phreaks don't like condescension. NUMBER FOUR: THANKS TO YOU HACKS AND YOUR FELLOW HACKS OF HOLLYWOOD QUALITY AND COMMERCIAL SUCCESS ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE -- AND AS LONG AS YOU WRITE BLURBS AND THEY WRITE SLASHER PORN, "FAMILY" MOVIES AND OS-CARS® THEY'LL STAY THAT WAY.
Why must we have TEN MOGUL'S FRIENDS at LALA?
We should remember the Dow went up to, what was it? 10,000? after the stupid TARP was announced. We won't know for years how much money we've wasted, but in all likelihood we'll waste a lot of it.
"Former [Chief Executive Jack] Welch built a culture of earnings management that was unsustainable." [OooooOOOOOoooooh!]
Well if it means anything, Very VERY Littler Jeffy, Toyota lost an A and IT still rules the world.
Well if it means anything, Very VERY Littler Jeffy, Toyota lost an A and IT still rules the world.
PRAAAAAAAAAAAAISE THE LORD for PEOPLE WARNER! PRAAAAAAAAAAAAISE THE LORD for PEOPLE, INC.!
Jennifer Aniston Flipped Out by Gray Hair
Jennifer Aniston Flipped Out by Gray Hair
Now there would have been a catch: Bonnie Prince Charlie for Bernie! Think of all the royal wealth he could have "invested"! In the end, the Prince had more sense than some of those suckers.
There is, of course, no connection between this story and this one. The idiot Big K wants to raise ad spending so it can schmooze more efficiently in Hollywood. But schmoozing more efficiently runs the risk of associating with cretins who can damage our sales pitch far more than it costs. In the end, however, CEOs and schmoozing in Hollywood always win.
There is good news on the unemployment front: Healthcare jobs are up. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
(Via Seeking Alpha)
"We need to become more of a nation of producers rather than a nation of consumers."
After this richly deserved disaster that does not sound like such a bad thing.
After this richly deserved disaster that does not sound like such a bad thing.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Joe Kennedy wasn’t about making movies. He was about girls. He was about the art of the deal. He was about the science of the scam. A predator thoroughly of his time—and ours.
And a great American. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
And a great American. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Republicans who have turned to Rush Limbaugh to lead the fight against President Obama may have backed the wrong horse. According to one recent poll, Limbaugh turns out to be one of the most unpopular political figures in the country.
An October 24, 2008, poll conducted by the DEMOCRATIC!!!!!!!!!! research firm Greenberg-Quinlan-Rosner.... [Gee-whiz-aw-shucks-maybe-we-should-have-omitted-that-word overemphasis added]
Hey Tina! Didn't you once "edit" The New Yorker? Didn't it run a department called "Stories We Stopped Reading After the Third Sentence" or whatever?
An October 24, 2008, poll conducted by the DEMOCRATIC!!!!!!!!!! research firm Greenberg-Quinlan-Rosner.... [Gee-whiz-aw-shucks-maybe-we-should-have-omitted-that-word overemphasis added]
Hey Tina! Didn't you once "edit" The New Yorker? Didn't it run a department called "Stories We Stopped Reading After the Third Sentence" or whatever?
ABC News has learned that on Friday, President Obama will likely order the Department of Defense's Military Commission to withdraw charges against terrorist suspect Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri. The charges may later be reinstated in a military commission or pursued in a civilian court. Al-Nashiri will remain in custody.
The announcement will not be made until after President Obama meets with the families of victims of terrorist attacks on 9/11 and on the U.S.S. Cole, where he will assure them that this step is not being done to be lenient towards al-Nashiri.
Well it sure does sound lenient.
The announcement will not be made until after President Obama meets with the families of victims of terrorist attacks on 9/11 and on the U.S.S. Cole, where he will assure them that this step is not being done to be lenient towards al-Nashiri.
Well it sure does sound lenient.
[W]hile it’s probably true that some highly qualified people who might otherwise have been interested in, say, taking over from Vikram Pandit at Citigroup will now shy away from that job, on the whole I’ll be surprised if the plan ends up having a significant impact on the quality of executives at troubled institutions....
TRANSLATION: How much more incompetent could they get?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
TRANSLATION: How much more incompetent could they get?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
CO-PRESIDENT WHINY REID SAYS HE WILL WIN!!!!!
That's the thing about him and his fellow co-president Nancy: they're not very bright, and they're not very honest, but they are very powerful. In a good country that would be three-strikes-you're-out. In America it's a reminder that brains and honesty never had much to do with power.
That's the thing about him and his fellow co-president Nancy: they're not very bright, and they're not very honest, but they are very powerful. In a good country that would be three-strikes-you're-out. In America it's a reminder that brains and honesty never had much to do with power.
IN MEMORIAM: Last summer the folks at Steen, in loving cooperation with the TWXSTERS, turned one of their billboards into a eulogistic tribute to the recently deceased movie Get Smart. (Although we shouldn't say recently; most movies are born brain-dead.) Now, in February, Steen is paying respectful tribute to a recently deceased jeweler, Jack Kellmer Co. Its Saturday-ending going-out-of-business sale has been an I-95 fixture since well before the outfit closed three weeks ago. Perhaps the Steeners were sad to see it go, and could not part with their cherished memories. We too join the salute, but we would remind the Steeners that billboards, unlike diamonds, are not forever.
And they do have some fine watches for sale!
And they do have some fine watches for sale!
Prompted by the executive truth-teller of the PAPER OF RE-CORD the news biz has assumed a bold fury demanding it be charged for its dubious wares. The Wall Street Journals can charge, can't they? Yes, and they also send out freebies on G000,000,000GLE -- and don't forget the Salon.com suggestion. No, what could happen is a game of musical chairs: As more papers go pay they get fewer hits; meantime the big papers that stay free get more hits -- and more advertising. Only a few newspaper Web sites will land on a chair. Who wants a chair?
And no, because enough news geniuses have been drummed out of the biz already, and because it engages in spin and sell more than ever, and because subscription revenues may not make up for the ad revenues lost from hits, and because news Web sites will only be able to charge so much, the end product will NOT get better.
And Romy points us to this celebrity-tattle colyumnist and his brilliant suggestion:
This company should charge online visitors a small fee, maybe $5 a month, for our content - which is copyrighted, then sue the pants off anyone stealing it.
Should Google "pick up" (steal) our stuff, if we successfully sued them for $1 billion, two good things happen: 1) Our money problems are solved; 2) everyone else will stop stealing our content.
And a third good thing will happen: No one will read preening celebrity-tattle colyumnists.
I know some say that you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
And when you're through, tattler, there'll be no toothpaste or tubes.
And no, because enough news geniuses have been drummed out of the biz already, and because it engages in spin and sell more than ever, and because subscription revenues may not make up for the ad revenues lost from hits, and because news Web sites will only be able to charge so much, the end product will NOT get better.
And Romy points us to this celebrity-tattle colyumnist and his brilliant suggestion:
This company should charge online visitors a small fee, maybe $5 a month, for our content - which is copyrighted, then sue the pants off anyone stealing it.
Should Google "pick up" (steal) our stuff, if we successfully sued them for $1 billion, two good things happen: 1) Our money problems are solved; 2) everyone else will stop stealing our content.
And a third good thing will happen: No one will read preening celebrity-tattle colyumnists.
I know some say that you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
And when you're through, tattler, there'll be no toothpaste or tubes.
Can anything stop the inane decline of the chick flick?
Can anything stop inane articles on the chick flick that posit there was a golden age to a bad genre?
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Can anything stop inane articles on the chick flick that posit there was a golden age to a bad genre?
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Oh dear oh dear, Very Littler Jeffy's prepared to give up a A!
What shall the economy do?
We suggest GE BANCORP gave up the A when it said bye-bye to $60 a share.
What shall the economy do?
We suggest GE BANCORP gave up the A when it said bye-bye to $60 a share.
We know the folks at NRO are exercised over the pork-stimulus bill, but isn't "$1.7 for the National Park System" [SIC!] a bargain?
P. S. at 11:46 a. m. Shucks, they fixed it.
P. S. at 11:46 a. m. Shucks, they fixed it.
Not long ago hacks were declaiming over a scabrous Web site that broadcast all sorts of innuendo about college students. Well it just went out of business, and while we would not say the Internet has a sense of shame, perhaps it's developing one.
"If Mr. Rangel is cleared of wrongdoing, I will be the first to congratulate him back to the chairmanship," said Carter, a staunch defender of former Republican leader Tom DeLay, who was the subject of multiple ethics investigations.
It's always something. Democrats have their sacrosanct louts, and so do Republicans.
That some might term this sentence press bias ignores that some might term Mr. Carter's hero a sleazeball.
It's always something. Democrats have their sacrosanct louts, and so do Republicans.
That some might term this sentence press bias ignores that some might term Mr. Carter's hero a sleazeball.
Not only is The One's image maker a plagiarist -- he plagiarized from the AP!!!!!
But why did CURLEY!!!!! (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) wait until after the election?
(Via the usual Romy)
But why did CURLEY!!!!! (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) wait until after the election?
(Via the usual Romy)
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Feds: Bonds Used 'The Clear' In '03
Slugger was also taking a female fertility drug that can mask steroid use, prosecutors say.
NO COMMENT.
Slugger was also taking a female fertility drug that can mask steroid use, prosecutors say.
NO COMMENT.
Drunken Slob's celebrated buddy Howie Hairshirt, who spends all his time with insiders, is ASTONISHED that his friends in the biz missed public anger over Tom.
How would they have caught it when all the hear is the sound of their own mutual backscratching?
How would they have caught it when all the hear is the sound of their own mutual backscratching?
Kyrgyzstan's government on Feb. 4 approved the closure of a U.S. airbase on its territory used as a vital supply route for Western military operations in Afghanistan.
The decision by the Central Asian state came as a snub to the administration of U.S. President Barack Obama, who has singled out Afghanistan as the main front in U.S. military operations overseas and plans to deploy 30,000 more troops there over the next 18 months.
They love us! They really love us!
The decision by the Central Asian state came as a snub to the administration of U.S. President Barack Obama, who has singled out Afghanistan as the main front in U.S. military operations overseas and plans to deploy 30,000 more troops there over the next 18 months.
They love us! They really love us!
And as the world must know by now, Barry's Ticketmaster and CHEAP CHANNEL JR. want to merge. For all the infinite ways such a combo can shaft its customers why do I think it won't work? Do ticket price-gouging and bad "music" making have that much in common?
PAUL DRECK CLAIMS ANOTHER VICTIM: You know how his favorite word is RECORD!!!!!? WELL, PAUL's been so busy spouting of RECORDS!!!!! he caused the Seniles to STRIP a movie-biz tax break from the BIG PORK -- er, STIMULUS BILL!!!!!
Paul, don't you know what's good for your country?
There is just one problem, though:
"THEY HAD THEIR BEST JANUARY EVER!!!!!" said Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), who led the charge against the tax breaks. [Record-breaking overemphasis added]
Tom, you should be more careful with numbers.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Paul, don't you know what's good for your country?
There is just one problem, though:
"THEY HAD THEIR BEST JANUARY EVER!!!!!" said Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), who led the charge against the tax breaks. [Record-breaking overemphasis added]
Tom, you should be more careful with numbers.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
OH oh, GEKKO KUDLOW's going to blow a FUSE:
TARP Executive Compensation Limits Set at $500,000
Now GUVMENT should not be dictating executive pay, but God knows those Walter Mittys of the corner office earn too much -- still, mightn't this be...too little?
All that said, the "bankers" deserve it.
TARP Executive Compensation Limits Set at $500,000
Now GUVMENT should not be dictating executive pay, but God knows those Walter Mittys of the corner office earn too much -- still, mightn't this be...too little?
All that said, the "bankers" deserve it.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
"Citi signed a legally binding agreement with the New York Mets in 2006."
TRANSLATION: "The public be damned! We're keeping our luxury boxes!
TRANSLATION: "The public be damned! We're keeping our luxury boxes!
Dear Mr. Obama,
As president, I would move into the White House and get some people to help me with my homework. I would fill the White House with chocolate and gravy (but not together) and mashed potatoes or maybe fill it with root beer. I'd drive through the White House on a boat. We'd make the floor out of mashed potatoes and the house would be filled with mashed potatoes. …
I'd have a couch made out of pudding that you could eat with a giant spoon. And I'd have a pizza carpet. After we'd eaten all of our furniture, we'd buy real furniture.
Amir Abdelhadi, age 6 (as dictated to Katie McCaughan)
Chicago
Well, I suppose he could do worse.
As president, I would move into the White House and get some people to help me with my homework. I would fill the White House with chocolate and gravy (but not together) and mashed potatoes or maybe fill it with root beer. I'd drive through the White House on a boat. We'd make the floor out of mashed potatoes and the house would be filled with mashed potatoes. …
I'd have a couch made out of pudding that you could eat with a giant spoon. And I'd have a pizza carpet. After we'd eaten all of our furniture, we'd buy real furniture.
Amir Abdelhadi, age 6 (as dictated to Katie McCaughan)
Chicago
Well, I suppose he could do worse.
Mitt for Health Care Czar?
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Tories' £200,000 donation after backing gambling
The Conservative Party accepted money from a slot machine tycoon’s businesses shortly after calling for softer rules
Saaaaaaaaaaaay, I think the GOP let someone in on a conference call!
The Conservative Party accepted money from a slot machine tycoon’s businesses shortly after calling for softer rules
Saaaaaaaaaaaay, I think the GOP let someone in on a conference call!
Analyst: News Corp. should separate assets
Recommends divvying up 'good' vs. 'bad'
By Georg Szalai
Feb 2, 2009, 07:15 PM ET
NEW YORK -- The idea of the U.S. government shoring up the financial system and financial-services giants by separating assets into "good banks" and "bad banks" has captured the imagination of at least one media and entertainment analyst.
Michael Nathanson of Sanford C. Bernstein suggested Monday that Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. would benefit from a similar approach.
"Why couldn't media companies follow this strategy?" he asked in a research note, arguing that News Corp. would "have the most potentially to gain" from such a split structure.
The analyst suggested that a "good News Corp." would comprise growing assets, such as the conglomerate's cable networks, the Sky Italia and Star Asia satellite TV platforms and MySpace. These could produce a profit of 39 cents a share during the current fiscal year and would have long-term operating profit growth of 17%, he said, assigning it a value of $5.45 a share. He assigns a value of $1.21 a share to the company's "bad" assets.
Meanwhile, "bad News" would include the firm's film and broadcast TV units and its newspapers, book arm and magazines unit, which have been objects of concern. "These 'bad assets' are not quite free but are getting very close," Nathanson said.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MySpace: 90,000 sex offenders removed from site
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....
Recommends divvying up 'good' vs. 'bad'
By Georg Szalai
Feb 2, 2009, 07:15 PM ET
NEW YORK -- The idea of the U.S. government shoring up the financial system and financial-services giants by separating assets into "good banks" and "bad banks" has captured the imagination of at least one media and entertainment analyst.
Michael Nathanson of Sanford C. Bernstein suggested Monday that Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. would benefit from a similar approach.
"Why couldn't media companies follow this strategy?" he asked in a research note, arguing that News Corp. would "have the most potentially to gain" from such a split structure.
The analyst suggested that a "good News Corp." would comprise growing assets, such as the conglomerate's cable networks, the Sky Italia and Star Asia satellite TV platforms and MySpace. These could produce a profit of 39 cents a share during the current fiscal year and would have long-term operating profit growth of 17%, he said, assigning it a value of $5.45 a share. He assigns a value of $1.21 a share to the company's "bad" assets.
Meanwhile, "bad News" would include the firm's film and broadcast TV units and its newspapers, book arm and magazines unit, which have been objects of concern. "These 'bad assets' are not quite free but are getting very close," Nathanson said.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MySpace: 90,000 sex offenders removed from site
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....
The huge spike in unemployment, combined with the loss of life savings by failed banks, meant that a once secure middle class could not meet their mortgage obligations. As a result, many walked away from recently built homes.
Recent history? No, the Panic of 1893.
Plus ça change....
Which brings us to the Wiki's poster. "In a scenic way", belched The Paper of Re-CORD, The War of Wealth "far surpasses any previous production of an American drama of its kind", meaning it employed STEPHEN "QUARTER-OF-A-CENTURY" HOLDENs even THEN. "There are 200 people on the stage." Your typical Shubert kvetches he'll go broke with ten. We couldn't find much on Charles T. Dazey (who wrote some silents) but we found something about the "proprietor", Jacob Litt, who died ten years after this show. He also produced In Old Kentucky, one of the many many forgotten long-running masterpieces of its day, and something called The Beauty and the Beast (!), and went insane, and left a million-dollar estate when a million was far more than a McMansion. History can teach us a lot.
P. S. We cannot conclude without this, er, rich description of the play (WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!):
"In Old Kentucky" ran for six months at the Academy of Music after touring the provinces. It is safe to predict as long a run for "The War of Wealth," because everybody will want to see the daring rescue of the heroine, who has fallen over a cliff at West Point, by the hero, who lowers himself over the precipice by the folds of Old Glory; the explosion in the bank vault, which releases the cashier from the living tomb into which he has been locked by the villain; the angry mob of depositors clamoring for their money during the run on the bank, which is dispelled by the sight of the yellow metal brought on the express wagon; the humorous express office scene, and the undoing of the villain in the last act.
This goes directly to what I complained about last night: no doubt this play was hokey, and overwritten, and overwrought, but it sounds as though to its thoroughly captivated audience it was great fun. Who has fun in the thea-TAH anymore?
Recent history? No, the Panic of 1893.
Plus ça change....
Which brings us to the Wiki's poster. "In a scenic way", belched The Paper of Re-CORD, The War of Wealth "far surpasses any previous production of an American drama of its kind", meaning it employed STEPHEN "QUARTER-OF-A-CENTURY" HOLDENs even THEN. "There are 200 people on the stage." Your typical Shubert kvetches he'll go broke with ten. We couldn't find much on Charles T. Dazey (who wrote some silents) but we found something about the "proprietor", Jacob Litt, who died ten years after this show. He also produced In Old Kentucky, one of the many many forgotten long-running masterpieces of its day, and something called The Beauty and the Beast (!), and went insane, and left a million-dollar estate when a million was far more than a McMansion. History can teach us a lot.
P. S. We cannot conclude without this, er, rich description of the play (WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!):
"In Old Kentucky" ran for six months at the Academy of Music after touring the provinces. It is safe to predict as long a run for "The War of Wealth," because everybody will want to see the daring rescue of the heroine, who has fallen over a cliff at West Point, by the hero, who lowers himself over the precipice by the folds of Old Glory; the explosion in the bank vault, which releases the cashier from the living tomb into which he has been locked by the villain; the angry mob of depositors clamoring for their money during the run on the bank, which is dispelled by the sight of the yellow metal brought on the express wagon; the humorous express office scene, and the undoing of the villain in the last act.
This goes directly to what I complained about last night: no doubt this play was hokey, and overwritten, and overwrought, but it sounds as though to its thoroughly captivated audience it was great fun. Who has fun in the thea-TAH anymore?
Which proves what? That no-talent critics savaged musical masterpieces. So today's AD-BLURBISTS of all stripes make up by praising as much as possible, meaning we KNOW it stinks. Witness THE LAUREATE's sendoff.
Is this intended as an backhanded mea culpa?
P. S. Something finally found something not so adulatory to say about LAUREATE -- unfortunately he trips himself up with a two-left-footed typo in his first sentence, using "breath" for "breathe", and he, too, can be reduced to elaborate praise.
Is this intended as an backhanded mea culpa?
P. S. Something finally found something not so adulatory to say about LAUREATE -- unfortunately he trips himself up with a two-left-footed typo in his first sentence, using "breath" for "breathe", and he, too, can be reduced to elaborate praise.
What's not surprising is that companies like ESPNCORP are getting "slammed"; what's so surprising is that "investors" act so surprised when they do get slammed.
Get ready, geeeeeeet rea-DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...
Barneys Shoes Are Up to 80 Percent Off at Loehmann’s
The WORRRRRRRRRRRRRULD is cominnnnnnnng to an END!!!!!
Barneys Shoes Are Up to 80 Percent Off at Loehmann’s
The WORRRRRRRRRRRRRULD is cominnnnnnnng to an END!!!!!
Well now that the president has read about that secret report in Politico...
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
Gen. Petraeus has given up on democracy building in Afghanistan. Sad, but just as well -- in Holy Cockroachland democracy is a show of missing hands.
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
Gen. Petraeus has given up on democracy building in Afghanistan. Sad, but just as well -- in Holy Cockroachland democracy is a show of missing hands.
We cannot read "tide-turning-against-death-penalty" stories because the authors usually have a hope. Yes, the punishment is too readily applied, especially in states like TexASS, but if those who write such stories share common news-hack prejudices they surely believe it shouldn't be applied AT ALL -- and that's why we cringe to read them.
SB BS: B&C says THE GREATEST GAME IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY drew "nearly 78.9 million viewers P2+" (i.e., not counting newborns). Even if "the numbers are likely to get a boost once time zone adjusted national data becomes available", we wonder if most of those "record" numbers from before are fakes. Nielsen serves the same task as the bond raters, comfortably in bed with its target audience the marketing reverse Robin Hoods, and its numbers have always been suspect, no more so than when it extrapolates.
And this ASSPress video press release says the "international" audience was 90 million -- a far cry from the ONE BILLION some fifth-rate hack at the GRAWF insisted. "American football" indeed.
P. S. at 1:35 p. m. THE MOST WATCHED GAME IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY!!!!!!!!!! had coattails so short you could see GE BANCORP NETWORK'S behind.
P. P. S. GE BANCORP DOWN SIX PERCENT since THE MOST WATCHED GAME IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!, and TWO STRAIGHT THIRTEEN-YEAR LOWS.
And this ASSPress video press release says the "international" audience was 90 million -- a far cry from the ONE BILLION some fifth-rate hack at the GRAWF insisted. "American football" indeed.
P. S. at 1:35 p. m. THE MOST WATCHED GAME IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY!!!!!!!!!! had coattails so short you could see GE BANCORP NETWORK'S behind.
P. P. S. GE BANCORP DOWN SIX PERCENT since THE MOST WATCHED GAME IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!, and TWO STRAIGHT THIRTEEN-YEAR LOWS.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Two practical jokes in the news: MOAMMAR's been named head of the African Union (Pfffffffffffffffffffft!), and the Tiny Formerly Terrorist Tyrant of North Korea wants to test an intercontinental missile.
That's okay! Our guy will solve the economy.
That's okay! Our guy will solve the economy.
Newspaper Execs Launch Group to 'Fight Back'!!!!!!!!!! [Fighting overemphasis added]
Published: February 02, 2009 11:55 PM ET [SIC!!!!!!!!!!]
And that's a good start -- GREG.
Published: February 02, 2009 11:55 PM ET [SIC!!!!!!!!!!]
And that's a good start -- GREG.
Here in downtown Philthydelphia the Walnut Street Theatre is home to a glorified stock company, a money-making irrelevance. It so little merits notice as to pave over what must be an astounding history. Only in the last few weeks did we learn it opened as an indoor circus 200 years ago today; when it was rejiggered as a theater years later Jefferson and the Marquis de Lafayette showed for its first play, Sheridan's The Rivals. And to think of the many other things: Edwin Forrest played there, as did the whole constellation of Booths and Barrymores; Edmund Kean is said to have introduced the curtain call there. Its stunning history continued even after that golden age; Louis B. Mayer once owned it, and as a home for Broadway tryouts it displayed an inestimable galaxy of stars; A Streetcar Named Desire played there, for one. So did the Marx brothers; I'll Say She Is made them a smash. Its last attraction of any note was a presidential debate between two dullards in '76; aptly enough the audio blew a fuse. For twenty-five years it's housed its stock company, so profitable its give-'em-what-they-want head has banished Shakespeare for the last twenty-three, calling it "castor oil", conveniently neglecting the five hit musicals he inspired. Now it's all Annies and 42nd Streets and heat-'n'-serve theater, nothing to give the masses a pain -- or a dream, and thus it will be forever, but at least we can dream of the time the theater was the heart of show-biz, and giving 'em what they wanted didn't mean giving them a heavily processed portion-controlled serving of it.
Obama criticized Wall Street’s moneymaking on Jan. 30, when he said there would be a time “for them to make profits, and there will be time for them to get bonuses. Now’s not that time. And that’s a message that I intend to send directly to them.”
Cramer said that was similar to Lenin’s writings. “Let me tell you something, we heard Lenin,” Cramer said. “There was a little snippet last week that was, ‘Now is not the time for profits.’ Look - in Lenin’s book, ‘What Is to Be Done?’ is simple text of what I always though was for the communists, it was remarkable to hear very similar language from ‘What Is to Be Done?’ which is we have no place for profits.”
OOOOOOOOOoooooooooooh, BOOM BOOM DOW AT 5800 GOES CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!! Who knew he had it in him?????
But of course -- because he's FULL OF IT.
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Cramer said that was similar to Lenin’s writings. “Let me tell you something, we heard Lenin,” Cramer said. “There was a little snippet last week that was, ‘Now is not the time for profits.’ Look - in Lenin’s book, ‘What Is to Be Done?’ is simple text of what I always though was for the communists, it was remarkable to hear very similar language from ‘What Is to Be Done?’ which is we have no place for profits.”
OOOOOOOOOoooooooooooh, BOOM BOOM DOW AT 5800 GOES CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!! Who knew he had it in him?????
But of course -- because he's FULL OF IT.
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Now that the excuse for a football game is ended, we can say this: all those MadAve madmen may think they're being oh so clever. But never forget: Advertising is big business's first line of offense, and it bolsters its attack by causing offense. Add P&Gs with their psychotic obsession to treat their customers as infants, sprinkle heavily ad-reliant companies like BANKS and CAR MAKERS into the mix, companies that are now WARDS of the STATE -- and pour into this festering stew the greatest Ponzi of them all -- and you have a recipe for a homicidal hatred of business. How much of the slow-motion disaster in our economy is people being tired of having other people scream at them what to buy?
The Econowiz' anonymous hacks don't think they'll get laid off. "As a rule of thumb, a careful cull of the 10% of lowest performers can make a firm leaner by removing fat without damaging muscle." This assumes, of course, that businesses are wise enough to fire the lowest ten percent. Our hunch is many businesses fire randomly, in a misplaced spirit of "fairness", and when they suffer later they have only themselves to blame. Indeed half this article deals with "talent strategies", which suggests too many of the CEOs who put The Econowiz on their desks solely because BUGMEISTER did have none.
Comedian Clayton English finds it hard to listen rap music [SIC] and still feel good about himself. [Home-page link]
What did we say the other day?
What did we say the other day?
We mention the death of the musician Lukas Foss for what he said:
“I conduct because I love to make love to the past.”
For someone who wrote the old piano-banging twelve-tone this is interesting. We're told that to worship the past is not only unworthy, but the mark of an old fogy. But despite writing a lot of stuff that (we fear) is doomed to gather dust Foss was man enough to admit maybe our musical best is in the past, and however much we may champion the a-vant GAHHHHDE being in the forefront somehow has moved us to the rear. Better to immerse yourself in a past of something than in a future of nothing.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
“I conduct because I love to make love to the past.”
For someone who wrote the old piano-banging twelve-tone this is interesting. We're told that to worship the past is not only unworthy, but the mark of an old fogy. But despite writing a lot of stuff that (we fear) is doomed to gather dust Foss was man enough to admit maybe our musical best is in the past, and however much we may champion the a-vant GAHHHHDE being in the forefront somehow has moved us to the rear. Better to immerse yourself in a past of something than in a future of nothing.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Tom is "embarrassed" the way the AQUATIC GEEK was "embarrassed", the way Secretary Geithner was "embarrassed": that is to say, they aren't; but they want their money, and they know they did something that some people might think is wrong, but enough people have no morals that they can slide by it.
I wonder -- can we use this method to excuse a potential cabinet member who's committed a crime?
I wonder -- can we use this method to excuse a potential cabinet member who's committed a crime?
Carnac was WRONG, of course -- it wasn't 100 million. Will it be below 90 million? If so, as we said, even the mighty NFL is not immune to gravity -- despite THE GREATEST GAME IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY. (Didn't they say that last year?)
Sunday, February 01, 2009
I suppose the better team won. It would be impossible to know which team took the less tax dollars. Seeing how the Bidwells shook down Arizonans I'm thinking the Steelers may be the better team.
That I think in terms of tax dollars shows how much the pro sports leagues have defiled themselves.
P. S. When the latest miracle of the ages ended it was roughly 3 a. m. in London, 4 a. m. in Berlin, and 6 a. m. in Moscow -- and noon in Tokyo, where I doubt too many Japanese watched it live. To most of the world it's still "American football." (Which does not prevent some jackass named Tom from belching, "The international audience is estimated at a billion", conveniently using the passive voice to justify a factoid he can't confirm. I guess the British press stinks too.)
One other indication how earth-blazingly important this is: It's the lead story on CNN.com, of course -- and eleventh down the list of "Top Stories" on International. Yes it's the TWXSTERS showing off, but not entirely.
That I think in terms of tax dollars shows how much the pro sports leagues have defiled themselves.
P. S. When the latest miracle of the ages ended it was roughly 3 a. m. in London, 4 a. m. in Berlin, and 6 a. m. in Moscow -- and noon in Tokyo, where I doubt too many Japanese watched it live. To most of the world it's still "American football." (Which does not prevent some jackass named Tom from belching, "The international audience is estimated at a billion", conveniently using the passive voice to justify a factoid he can't confirm. I guess the British press stinks too.)
One other indication how earth-blazingly important this is: It's the lead story on CNN.com, of course -- and eleventh down the list of "Top Stories" on International. Yes it's the TWXSTERS showing off, but not entirely.
What do Marion Jones and the Aquatic Geek have in common? Emptily apologetic news hacks who built up Potemkin heroes.
You wanted to believe her.
You want to believe him....
THIS is what I have in mind when I think this idiot industry can't suffer enough for all the dreck it inflicts us with.
You wanted to believe her.
You want to believe him....
THIS is what I have in mind when I think this idiot industry can't suffer enough for all the dreck it inflicts us with.
Some time ago I suggested our neighborhood institution the Curtis, for all its past brilliance, was doing nothing but churning out journeymen. This article, though not about it, confirms my suspicion for the ah-pe-RA world. How many third-string singers are there? How can ah-pe-RA revive itself when the conductors are missing, the teachers are missing, and yes, the COMPOSERS are missing? We need high art, but how can we get it when the supports are gone?
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
100 million U.S. football fans WILL watch televised duel between Cards quarterback Kurt Warner and Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger.... [Carnac home-page overemphasis added]
How do you know? How do you know the SUPER BORE can't be subject to the force of gravity that hit the World Series, the Os-CARS®, NASCAR®, and the Miss America Pageant?
Okay, maybe 100 million will watch -- I just wouldn't BET on it.
(I must come up with a good line from the envelope.)
Tax revenue for stadium: Is it enough?
It's never enough -- except for the taxpayers, for whom it's TOO MUCH.
It's never enough -- except for the taxpayers, for whom it's TOO MUCH.
Somebody tell this idiot Pat of Moon 'n' Stars -- sorry Pat, given the BONG HIT we RETARDS are still JUDGMENTAL.
If it's SUPER BORE SUNDAY it must be BIG DOUBLE-A-SCRIBBLE TIME:
1. The Ranceoids hint GM may try to save Saturn by getting a foreign auto maker to use its dealer network for distribution. We wonder how that helps beyond the margins. If GM's going to save such a brand shouldn't it just remember its founding mission of making the best car it can, and let the market decide? Heck it's OUR money now.
2. We remember how LEGENDARY WELCH wanted to turn Today into a paid infomercial. It would seem GE BANCORP NETWORK has a solution right under its noses: let all the people hawking products outside its studio parade through for four hours, then charge the companies for the airtime.
3. Can Buying Blind Save Web Ads?
Why not? Buying deaf, dumb and blind made television a powerhouse.
1. The Ranceoids hint GM may try to save Saturn by getting a foreign auto maker to use its dealer network for distribution. We wonder how that helps beyond the margins. If GM's going to save such a brand shouldn't it just remember its founding mission of making the best car it can, and let the market decide? Heck it's OUR money now.
2. We remember how LEGENDARY WELCH wanted to turn Today into a paid infomercial. It would seem GE BANCORP NETWORK has a solution right under its noses: let all the people hawking products outside its studio parade through for four hours, then charge the companies for the airtime.
3. Can Buying Blind Save Web Ads?
Why not? Buying deaf, dumb and blind made television a powerhouse.
When it comes to writings on economics, the Post's Outlook section is probably best viewed as a jobs program rather than a source for serious ideas.
I believe we could say that for MOST op-ed sections, on MOST topics.
He was referring to AMITY, which under the circumstances could go as cruel and unusual punishment.
(Via washingtonmonthly.com)
I believe we could say that for MOST op-ed sections, on MOST topics.
He was referring to AMITY, which under the circumstances could go as cruel and unusual punishment.
(Via washingtonmonthly.com)
"Federal belt-tightening would worsen the problem right now," said Kevin Hassett, director of economic policy studies at the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative think tank. "Most economists agree that the federal government is a built-in stabilizer," said Hassett, a former adviser to GOP presidential campaigns.
What would AYN RAND say??????????
What would AYN RAND say??????????
I'm not surprised to learn the AQUATIC GEEK did a bong hit (really, he looks the type) -- or that SLIME exposed him -- but if the sorry tale of Secretary Geithner says anything he may yet have a second, third, fourth and fifth act thanks to MONEY. Whether he should add to his medal collection is another story.
No, I'm not OUTRAGED. I expect such behavior from cretins like this. What gets me mad is what we will call LAUREATEITIS -- the propensity of hacks to use big words and bigger hype to describe the luck hogging of less-than-ordinary men. They did it with the ASTERISK GANG, and so they did it with the GEEK.
P. S. at 2:52 p. m. I really thought the news would confine itself to SLIMEWORLD, but somehow it leaked out.
P. P. S. at 3:07 p. m. Tomorrow is when the news really gets annoying -- when we hear from thousands and thousands with MARKETING in their titles.
P. P. P. S. at 3:21 p. m.: Prediction: SLIME WRITES DOWN DOW JONES.
No, I'm not OUTRAGED. I expect such behavior from cretins like this. What gets me mad is what we will call LAUREATEITIS -- the propensity of hacks to use big words and bigger hype to describe the luck hogging of less-than-ordinary men. They did it with the ASTERISK GANG, and so they did it with the GEEK.
P. S. at 2:52 p. m. I really thought the news would confine itself to SLIMEWORLD, but somehow it leaked out.
P. P. S. at 3:07 p. m. Tomorrow is when the news really gets annoying -- when we hear from thousands and thousands with MARKETING in their titles.
P. P. P. S. at 3:21 p. m.: Prediction: SLIME WRITES DOWN DOW JONES.