THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Friday, June 17, 2005
In a highly unusual move, Pope Benedict XVI has suspended the planned beatification of a French priest while the Vatican investigates allegations of anti-Semitism in his writings, including one that called the Jewish holy book the "manual of the bandit, corruptor, social destroyer."
That should take care of the new pope's alleged "REACTION."
That should take care of the new pope's alleged "REACTION."
Meantime some of Dickie Doo-Doo and his Don't's friends are working to make anti-Semitism an official plank of the next Democratic Party platform.
At Democrats.com it was a SMASHING SUCCESS. Nothing about the HOOK-NOSED -- er, Israelis, however.
At Democrats.com it was a SMASHING SUCCESS. Nothing about the HOOK-NOSED -- er, Israelis, however.
"Hubris" is probably the most appropriate collective noun for superheroes.
"Hubris" is probably the most appropriate collective noun for LORD STRINGER and KING RICHARD, who AREN'T.
"Hubris" is probably the most appropriate collective noun for LORD STRINGER and KING RICHARD, who AREN'T.
Advice from the TWXSTERS:
Sex Exit Etiquette
Handled well, a one-night stand can be hot and harmless. But know the rules of disappearing with dignity.
Please folks, we've had ENOUGH sex etiquette from you since you were BORN.
Sex Exit Etiquette
Handled well, a one-night stand can be hot and harmless. But know the rules of disappearing with dignity.
Please folks, we've had ENOUGH sex etiquette from you since you were BORN.
OMERTA's idea of "BIPARTISAN":
"It's time to get serious about an exit strategy," said Rep. Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii, a Democratic sponsor.
Other sponsors of the resolution include Reps. Ron Paul (R-Texas), Martin T. Meehan (D-Mass.) and Lynn C. Woolsey (D-Petaluma).
Let's see -- three far leftists and a PSYCHO. That sounds bipartisan to me, OMERTA.
MEANWHILE....
At U.S. newspapers, news is nearly all bad in 2005
Remember, MERT, it's THE DO-NOT-CALL LAW!!!!!
"It's time to get serious about an exit strategy," said Rep. Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii, a Democratic sponsor.
Other sponsors of the resolution include Reps. Ron Paul (R-Texas), Martin T. Meehan (D-Mass.) and Lynn C. Woolsey (D-Petaluma).
Let's see -- three far leftists and a PSYCHO. That sounds bipartisan to me, OMERTA.
MEANWHILE....
At U.S. newspapers, news is nearly all bad in 2005
Remember, MERT, it's THE DO-NOT-CALL LAW!!!!!
The TRIB endorses DICK DURBIN FOR PRESIDENT!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
"It would take a seismic shift for us to take back the Senate in the next election," he said.
So we'll try to move the earth with our TANTRUMS!
"When I go home, my friends will say, `Why don't you move your own ideas?'"
Ideas? What are -- IDEAS?
P. S. Hey lookie, Dick -- YOU MADE THE OSAMA CHANNEL! (CAVEAT: This IS AMERICA'S NEWSPAPER.)
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
"It would take a seismic shift for us to take back the Senate in the next election," he said.
So we'll try to move the earth with our TANTRUMS!
"When I go home, my friends will say, `Why don't you move your own ideas?'"
Ideas? What are -- IDEAS?
P. S. Hey lookie, Dick -- YOU MADE THE OSAMA CHANNEL! (CAVEAT: This IS AMERICA'S NEWSPAPER.)
If only all Republicans would see OUR SIDE, like Congresspoop JONES.
It's a non-starter -- heck the key won't even make it near the ignition -- but it does get us hugging ourselves as YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!!!!
It's a non-starter -- heck the key won't even make it near the ignition -- but it does get us hugging ourselves as YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!!!!
Dubya sez: We're wasting hundreds of billions on drugs for you geezers -- and YOU'RE ENTITLED TO IT!
Surprise, surprise:
FOOD MARKETERS' SELF-REGULATION CALLED A FAILURE
Meaning the Kellogg's of this world can still sell their $20 boxes of sugar with impunity.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS ATTACK ON FREE ENTERPRISE, LARRY KUDLOW? DOW 36,000?
BIG CAVEAT: The Center for Informed Food Choices "advocates...a whole foods, plant-based diet and educates about the politics of food." TRANSLATION: The fruit-and-nut guys go after the petroleum refiners of the supermarkets. May the worse man win!
FOOD MARKETERS' SELF-REGULATION CALLED A FAILURE
Meaning the Kellogg's of this world can still sell their $20 boxes of sugar with impunity.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS ATTACK ON FREE ENTERPRISE, LARRY KUDLOW? DOW 36,000?
BIG CAVEAT: The Center for Informed Food Choices "advocates...a whole foods, plant-based diet and educates about the politics of food." TRANSLATION: The fruit-and-nut guys go after the petroleum refiners of the supermarkets. May the worse man win!
The @#$%&* Father of Pakistan is leaving the hospital after a brief stay, and can presumably continue advising his friends on how to establish THE CALIPHATE.
"WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE" INDEED.
"WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE" INDEED.
Tom Cruise proposes to Katie Holmes atop Eiffel Tower
This story deserves an inevitable comeback -- but we will forgo that, and merely suggest the couple may have been better off flying a kite.
This story deserves an inevitable comeback -- but we will forgo that, and merely suggest the couple may have been better off flying a kite.
Steve's so busy making a sales pitch to his future bosses in Hollywood he neglects one tiny thing -- the baloney at Sony moved the second movie he mentions, The Pink Panther, to next year due to RAVE INTERNET REVIEWS.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to STEVE!!!!!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to STEVE!!!!!
Greek myth tells us how Odysseus plugged his crew's ears with wax and had himself tied to his ship's mast to escape the Sirens. Well, Honorary Mayor Mike wants to build that @#$%&* OLYMPIC WHITE ELEPHANT at ANY COST, so he can bask in the sound of a whole city evacuating for three weeks, and now comes word that OUR beloved mayor is willing to spend millions to bask in the ear-rending screech of NEWS HACK SIRENS praising him to the ages. Did he ever think (no, he never has) that maybe all that money he'll be paying for police and overtime and turning half the city into a frozen zone could have gone to AFRICAN RELIEF? He'd be better donating it to KNIGHTRIDDER to print hundreds of special sections praising him as our CITY'S GREATEST MAYOR.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Downing Street memo! DOWNING STREET MEMO!!!!!
Meanwhile, down at the ledger books....
NYT Co. says ad market "uneven," lowers forecast for 2005
We'll take the hit for THE TRUTH.
RIGHT ROMY?
Meanwhile, down at the ledger books....
NYT Co. says ad market "uneven," lowers forecast for 2005
We'll take the hit for THE TRUTH.
RIGHT ROMY?
Norwegian Princess Leah's name was inspired by a character in a "Star Wars" movie, the mother of the infant princess was quoted as saying on Thursday.
Who has to know anything when you're a ROYAL? or a NEWS HACK? But then I guess LUKE SPIELBERG's sexier than any ol' BIBLE.
Who has to know anything when you're a ROYAL? or a NEWS HACK? But then I guess LUKE SPIELBERG's sexier than any ol' BIBLE.
S-S-S-Social S-S-S-Security? W-w-w-what's S-S-S-Social S-S-S-Security?
Larry "They Didn't Pay Dick Grasso Enough" Kudlow and Dow 36,000 will be FURIOUS.
Larry "They Didn't Pay Dick Grasso Enough" Kudlow and Dow 36,000 will be FURIOUS.
Shucks, more bad news -- we capture a holy cockroach in Iraq.
You're a news hack. You hear our soldiers are killed. (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!)
Then you hear this. You think, they did this on purpose to cover up the bad news that OUR SOLDIERS ARE DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (As if they didn't gloat every time.) It makes you want to go out and get drunk, which is impossible when you and your colleagues drink nothing but the most expensive bottled water.
You're a news hack. You hear our soldiers are killed. (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!)
Then you hear this. You think, they did this on purpose to cover up the bad news that OUR SOLDIERS ARE DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (As if they didn't gloat every time.) It makes you want to go out and get drunk, which is impossible when you and your colleagues drink nothing but the most expensive bottled water.
As TVs grow, so do electric bills
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Nopw let me get this straight -- the government wants to save us energy (pffh-hh-hh). It also wants to force us to convert to HDTV, which consumes more electricity. WHICH WILL IT BE, GOV? I guess whichever's less intrusive in the HOME.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Nopw let me get this straight -- the government wants to save us energy (pffh-hh-hh). It also wants to force us to convert to HDTV, which consumes more electricity. WHICH WILL IT BE, GOV? I guess whichever's less intrusive in the HOME.
Spotlight skips cases of missing minorities
Here is why another switch clicks off in our heads when the hacks play their mind games: this isn't about missing people -- it's about MISSING PEOPLE OF THE RIGHT RACE.
Yes, the hacks may report certain stories of missing people because the victims are white. But don't they get even when they run dribble about, say, that repulsive GALLUP POLL? When will the hacks get it into their MENSA-THICK SKULLS to STOP PAYING THE RACE CARD -- EITHER WAY?
Here is why another switch clicks off in our heads when the hacks play their mind games: this isn't about missing people -- it's about MISSING PEOPLE OF THE RIGHT RACE.
Yes, the hacks may report certain stories of missing people because the victims are white. But don't they get even when they run dribble about, say, that repulsive GALLUP POLL? When will the hacks get it into their MENSA-THICK SKULLS to STOP PAYING THE RACE CARD -- EITHER WAY?
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Today THE PAPER OF RE-CORD commemorates the 101st anniversary of the Gen. Slocum disaster on the East River, near the site of what NEWS HACKS now insist was another "disaster," which makes us ponder when a disaster ceases to be one.
Here's something the Great Alaskan Boar and Sen. Ossified Kleagle can agree on: corporate welfare is GOOD.
Time Warner and Sony BMG say she's sexy. I say she's untalented. Who's right?
Who has $500 gazillion in revenues?
[N]ow it is our turn. Progressive populists are the dominant force in the party and we want to speak truth to power. We want Dean to say it like it really is: The Republican Party is 80 percent white and Christian; its agenda is dedicated to advancing the power of the wealthy and corporate America. In our view, Rep. Tom DeLay's conduct is criminal. Both are trying to lead us into a fundamentalist Christian theocratic state with a diminishment of our Bill of Rights. And Howard Dean is leading us in the grass-roots development of a populist party belief system with a progressive agenda of rights that some mistakenly consider entitlements. He is empowering us at the grass-roots of the party to craft a belief system around rights to which citizens who have built by the sweat of their brow are indeed entitled as members of the richest and most powerful society in world history, including the precious Constitutionally protected right to yell YAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
P. S. I added -- something. But the bobbleheads at the Houston Chronicle must have been shaking VIOLENTLY in agreement to allow that last sentence in -- or the whole article, for that matter.
P. S. I added -- something. But the bobbleheads at the Houston Chronicle must have been shaking VIOLENTLY in agreement to allow that last sentence in -- or the whole article, for that matter.
The "electronic pimp" is selling another lunch with ST. WARREN!
PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE DE LAWD!
PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE DE LAWD!
The passage of time often makes us look back at certain cultural excesses with a wince, a groan, and a laugh. Black parachute pants. Pet Rocks and Garbage Pail Kids. Lava lamps. ''If it doesn't fit, you must acquit.'' David and Shaun Cassidy.
Stephen King? I wonder how many times Larry CourtJester's fondled us. Oh well, at least our heart's in the right place, even if our PR isn't.
Stephen King? I wonder how many times Larry CourtJester's fondled us. Oh well, at least our heart's in the right place, even if our PR isn't.
Bristol-Myers Squibb has broken industry ranks to become the first drug maker to voluntarily abandon direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical ads during a product’s first year and will also limit the times of day when it advertises drugs on TV.
Let's see if it's the last. (That doesn't count too many firms in BIG DRUGS.)
Let's see if it's the last. (That doesn't count too many firms in BIG DRUGS.)
ONLY CHEAP CHANNEL:
But despite the new rallying cries, flashes of the old, bumbling Clear Channel shine through. In the too-clever-by-half category, it hoped to create buzz about an Akron station format change from sports to progressive talk last month by starting a critical Web site blasting the corporatization of radio. Problem was, listeners sensed the company's fingerprints on the ersatz opposition, and a second wave of criticism hit -- this one in the form of hate e-mails and a torrent of anti-Clear Channel blogging.
But despite the new rallying cries, flashes of the old, bumbling Clear Channel shine through. In the too-clever-by-half category, it hoped to create buzz about an Akron station format change from sports to progressive talk last month by starting a critical Web site blasting the corporatization of radio. Problem was, listeners sensed the company's fingerprints on the ersatz opposition, and a second wave of criticism hit -- this one in the form of hate e-mails and a torrent of anti-Clear Channel blogging.
American business -- on the CUTTING EDGE of TECHNOLOGY:
IT: Half Of Businesses Still Use Windows 2000
They LOVE ya, BILL!
IT: Half Of Businesses Still Use Windows 2000
They LOVE ya, BILL!
Here in Philthydelphia, our local transit workers' union has postponed its threatened strike for six months -- meaning KNIGHTRIDDER's buried the news.
BUT THERE'S ALWAYS WACKO!!!!!
What's the GOOD NEWS, J.R. -- I mean, K.R.?
BUT THERE'S ALWAYS WACKO!!!!!
What's the GOOD NEWS, J.R. -- I mean, K.R.?
Amid 'Live 8' hullabaloo, what about Africa?
WHO SAID IT'S ABOUT AFRICA?
This will be the hacks' latest idiot excuse to apply THEIR hammer to what they think is OUR ANVIL -- only it's really a HUMAN HEAD.
WHO SAID IT'S ABOUT AFRICA?
This will be the hacks' latest idiot excuse to apply THEIR hammer to what they think is OUR ANVIL -- only it's really a HUMAN HEAD.
The HACKS pull out their RACE CARD AGAIN!
Hey zillionaire scribblers! Would you like your credibility ratings to be ZERO?
ABOLISH GALLUP INTERNATIONAL!
Hey zillionaire scribblers! Would you like your credibility ratings to be ZERO?
ABOLISH GALLUP INTERNATIONAL!
Noah: Kinsley should just get rid of LAT's editorial page
And while he's at it he should get rid of the REST of the paper.
Abolish Michael Kinsley!
Better!
And while he's at it he should get rid of the REST of the paper.
Abolish Michael Kinsley!
Better!
Exxon hires Bush energy aide
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Let's see, the Reps have bigbiz, the Dems have bigmediabiz. And this merry-go-round NEVER breaks down.
Six of one....
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Let's see, the Reps have bigbiz, the Dems have bigmediabiz. And this merry-go-round NEVER breaks down.
Six of one....
SUMNER'S BOARD has declared He will NOT LIVE FOREVER!
But we suspect He still has a few STRINGS attached to Tom and the MOONER.
But we suspect He still has a few STRINGS attached to Tom and the MOONER.
I have spoken before about kvetching about your bosses on a blog, unfavorably. But might we wonder if these are more isolated episodes than news hacks may let on? Setting aside the hacks' love for the anecdotal, has anyone looked at PubSub.com lately? If its stats are to be believed less than five percent of all blogs are updated regularly. If so, it means these Web martyrs have oversized chips on their shoulders indeed.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
There is little concern the Saudis are trying to make nuclear arms, but....
There's only one tiny little difference between our FRIENDS the Saudis and the North Koreans: M-O-N-E-Y.
Other than that and they're several thousand miles closer to PALESTINE there's no reason they'd have nukes.
There's only one tiny little difference between our FRIENDS the Saudis and the North Koreans: M-O-N-E-Y.
Other than that and they're several thousand miles closer to PALESTINE there's no reason they'd have nukes.
Madonna has invented yet another persona - the regretful and demure mother of two.
The controversial singer, who appeared on stage wearing a cone-shaped bra and was pictured naked in a book called "Sex," told Ladies Home Journal she pushed her explicit image too far. And she said she feared her sexploits misled her young fans.
"Sometimes I was being overtly sexual for the sake of showing off when I didn't need to be," she said.
"I think I hurt myself. Ultimately, none of us wants to be judged, or approved of, or loved because of the way we look, or how sexy we are.
"One minute I was saying believe in yourself, and the next minute I was saying just be sexually provocative for the sake of being sexually provocative.
"I was letting it pump up my ego, thinking aren't I great? They're writing about me, my picture's on the cover of every magazine, I'm so fabulous."
Is THE MAN pulling her umpteenth GAG?
The controversial singer, who appeared on stage wearing a cone-shaped bra and was pictured naked in a book called "Sex," told Ladies Home Journal she pushed her explicit image too far. And she said she feared her sexploits misled her young fans.
"Sometimes I was being overtly sexual for the sake of showing off when I didn't need to be," she said.
"I think I hurt myself. Ultimately, none of us wants to be judged, or approved of, or loved because of the way we look, or how sexy we are.
"One minute I was saying believe in yourself, and the next minute I was saying just be sexually provocative for the sake of being sexually provocative.
"I was letting it pump up my ego, thinking aren't I great? They're writing about me, my picture's on the cover of every magazine, I'm so fabulous."
Is THE MAN pulling her umpteenth GAG?
Potentially good news:
Hollywood studios have profited handsomely as people with new players built DVD libraries. Buyers spent about $15.6 billion last year vs. $9 billion in 2002, says Tom Adams of Adams Media Research. Yet the novelty is cooling now that DVD players are in 70% of homes.
"This is a pivotal year," says Adams. "We're running out of new homes. And the longer you have a machine, the fewer DVDs you buy." He says sales growth will slow from 17% this year to 7% in 2007.
Better news:
Some studios are so worried about failure that they've begun to pay A-list stars and directors as much as 35% of a film's gross revenue, up from 20%, Variety magazine reports. "Hollywood has gone off into fantasy land," Vogel says. "It works as long as the business is growing. If the business is leveling off, it's almost an act of desperation."
But Mr. Vogel forgets that he is in no position to judge one fantasy land, residing as he does in another -- WALL STREET.
Hollywood studios have profited handsomely as people with new players built DVD libraries. Buyers spent about $15.6 billion last year vs. $9 billion in 2002, says Tom Adams of Adams Media Research. Yet the novelty is cooling now that DVD players are in 70% of homes.
"This is a pivotal year," says Adams. "We're running out of new homes. And the longer you have a machine, the fewer DVDs you buy." He says sales growth will slow from 17% this year to 7% in 2007.
Better news:
Some studios are so worried about failure that they've begun to pay A-list stars and directors as much as 35% of a film's gross revenue, up from 20%, Variety magazine reports. "Hollywood has gone off into fantasy land," Vogel says. "It works as long as the business is growing. If the business is leveling off, it's almost an act of desperation."
But Mr. Vogel forgets that he is in no position to judge one fantasy land, residing as he does in another -- WALL STREET.
Hmmm, how about -- one national hotel chain!
It would go well with ONE NATIONAL AIRLINE.
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
It would go well with ONE NATIONAL AIRLINE.
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
The LALATimes is trying to be more like Wikipedia.
I was thinking Pravda myself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
But don't flatter yourselves. People don't think that highly of Wikipedia either.
I was thinking Pravda myself.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
But don't flatter yourselves. People don't think that highly of Wikipedia either.
Well I'm glad it's over, though they must be on a crying jag to end all crying jags at the cable "news" time-fillers. Don't worry, you'll manufacture something else down the line. As for this stunt that never ended, I can't say I'm surprised. Fatty Arbuckle taught us a celebrity trial can be a persecution. It is hard to say, however, that a man with a piece of plastic sticking out where his nose was and skin as mottled as a cow was being persecuted. Some of the hacks may try to pull a New Nixon for him, remembering what's good for Time Warner...but to the tone-deaf "music" fans he may as well have been born B. C. Besides, being acquitted is not the same as being absolved.
Now on to something more edifying -- like the continuing "career" of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s girlfriend.
Now on to something more edifying -- like the continuing "career" of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s girlfriend.
Monday, June 13, 2005
ST. WARREN is about besmudge His rep -- with a SETTLEMENT!
The Wall Street Journal reported in its online edition. See Journal story.
Uh, WHY did you buy Marketwatch, Dow Jones?
The Wall Street Journal reported in its online edition. See Journal story.
Uh, WHY did you buy Marketwatch, Dow Jones?
I'm sorry -- so sorry....
I'm sorry too, but in all the days of all those lynchings there was hardly a more reactionary place than the U. S. Senate -- unless of course we include THE SUPREME COURT.
I'm sorry too, but in all the days of all those lynchings there was hardly a more reactionary place than the U. S. Senate -- unless of course we include THE SUPREME COURT.
When Congress passed the $417-billion Pentagon spending bill last year, Rep. John P. Murtha, the top Democrat on the House defense appropriations subcommittee, boasted about the money he secured to create jobs in his Pennsylvania district.
But the bill Murtha helped write also benefited at least 10 companies represented by a lobbying firm where his brother, Robert "Kit" Murtha, is a senior partner, according to disclosure records, interviews and an analysis of the bill by The Times.
Heaven forfend! A DEMOCRAT -- doing FAVORS for his BROTHER? Unthinkable.
But the bill Murtha helped write also benefited at least 10 companies represented by a lobbying firm where his brother, Robert "Kit" Murtha, is a senior partner, according to disclosure records, interviews and an analysis of the bill by The Times.
Heaven forfend! A DEMOCRAT -- doing FAVORS for his BROTHER? Unthinkable.
Let's see, next Monday CNN's relaunching free videos. The following day AOL's pulling down its wall.
You're too late, TWXSTERS.
You're too late, TWXSTERS.
Speaking of fire sales, the SEC is investigating HP's new boss for maybe doing some -- INSIDER TRADING.
This will happen when you stil make razors along with the BLADES.
This will happen when you stil make razors along with the BLADES.
BELIEVE...
And while this weekend marks the 16th consecutive down session as compared with last year, it was off by just $15 million. That means that this "week's" total should exceed last year's comparable seven-day period since Warner Bros.' "Batman Begins" is expected to do some business when it opens on Wednesday in more than 3,800 theaters.
The Wednesday and Thursday grosses from "Batman" are not a part of the weekend but will be added into the current week's total, which began Friday. So while the past 16 "weekends" have been down as compared with last year, three of those same 16 "weeks" have been up in 2005 due to midweek business, so it's a downward streak -- but with caveats. Since the boxoffice has added some strong players in the holdover area and with "Batman" opening, next weekend has a shot at breaking the down "weekend" trend at the boxoffice.
Ya gotta BELIEVE!!!!!
Do they PRAY at the Hollywood Dictator -- or merely GENUFLECT?
And while this weekend marks the 16th consecutive down session as compared with last year, it was off by just $15 million. That means that this "week's" total should exceed last year's comparable seven-day period since Warner Bros.' "Batman Begins" is expected to do some business when it opens on Wednesday in more than 3,800 theaters.
The Wednesday and Thursday grosses from "Batman" are not a part of the weekend but will be added into the current week's total, which began Friday. So while the past 16 "weekends" have been down as compared with last year, three of those same 16 "weeks" have been up in 2005 due to midweek business, so it's a downward streak -- but with caveats. Since the boxoffice has added some strong players in the holdover area and with "Batman" opening, next weekend has a shot at breaking the down "weekend" trend at the boxoffice.
Ya gotta BELIEVE!!!!!
Do they PRAY at the Hollywood Dictator -- or merely GENUFLECT?
Oooooooooooooooh, the TWXSTERS learn we did EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL things to the prisoners at GITMO -- and Sen. Chuck "Hole in the Bagel" Hagel is SCAAAAAAAAAAARED!!!!!
This is precisely the sort of thing I did not miss during my two days without a computer, and now I'm almost angry I got one.
This is precisely the sort of thing I did not miss during my two days without a computer, and now I'm almost angry I got one.