THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, October 02, 2010
You're a SONDHEIMANIAC. You're in the know; you believe The Paper of Re-CORD is God's word and Frank Rich is Moses. Being in the know you think HERR DOKTOR's shows are immortal. You immersed yourself in A Little Night Music despite its stunt casting and cheap sets and shriveled arrangements to revel in the total sound world of a GENIUS. He is so much better than his competition -- he's said so himself -- he could never be linked to an everyday, ordinary, plebeian talent like, say, Elvis Presley. Could he?
Alas, he could be -- and very strongly so.
Here's a name for you -- Gene Nelson. The SONDHEIMANIACS worship him as one of the stars of the original production of Follies, a show so God-enriched it has not been revived in Branson East since its opening rapture (though it has received about a thousand concert renditions, meaning it MUST be opera). Unfortunately for them Nelson directed two of Elvis's grungiest programmers -- Kissin' Cousins and Harum Scarum. (As you can see from above he also co-wrote the former.) And these men liked and respected each other. In his very factual and very dull biography of Presley Peter Guralnick relates that as a truck driver in Memphis Elvis went to the movies and saw Nelson do a strenuously acrobatic routine on gymnastics equipment in a rather lame Warners spectacular She's Working Her Way Through College, and was quite impressed. (That film, a musical adaptation of the hoary James Thurber - Elliott Nugent academic sitcom The Male Animal, starred Ronald Reagan and has possibly the first of those memorable caricatures of him with the pointy hair -- on a blackboard.) Elvis told Nelson and they struck it off. Indeed we'd wager Nelson has a stronger connection to Elvis than to HERR DOKTOR.
Say what you will of Elvis's programmers, and we've said it, people will still listen to the "immortal nuances" of Ben Weisman long after Anyone Can Whistle trundles off permanently to the theater graveyard.
Oh -- and we haven't mentioned Angela Lansbury. Have we?
Or that the Rodgers and Hammerstein Organization bought a big chunk of Elvis's catalog?
And here's the poster art for one of HERR DOKTOR's masterworks. Strange, is it not?
P. S. on 11/13/2010 at 8:52 p. m. I'm afraid I've found another connection between Elvis and HERR DOKTOR: John Carradine, co-star of the inaptly titled The Trouble with Girls (and How to Get Into It), played the "procurer" Marcus Lycus for fifteen months in the original Broadway production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. So there, SONDHEIMANIACS!
P. P. S. We were rather hoping for a connection with the ethereal Juliet Prowse, who did star in the original London production of Sweet Charity (co-written by Cy Coleman, who wrote "Witchcraft", which -- never mind), but alas, no dice.
P. P. P. S. on 11/14/2010 at 6:10 p. m. WRONG!!!!! She starred in A 1990 PRODUCTION OF FOLLIES IN LOS ANGELES!!!!!!!!!!
P. P. P. P. S. at 6:52 p. m. DEAN JONES STARRED IN COMPANY!!!!! (One suspects the SONDHEIMANIACS have never forgiven him because he quit after a month, and also because he was in a weird phase then, as witness his later appearances on THE PTL CLUB -- but this counts.)
ARCHDaily!
A $5 million optical store!
A $10 million hole in the ground!
A $20 million stairwell to nowhere!
A $5 million optical store!
A $10 million hole in the ground!
A $20 million stairwell to nowhere!
Friday, October 01, 2010
The backlash has begun, and we forget there wouldn't be backlashes if the hacks did their jobs in the first place -- as Prof. Shafer demonstrates again HERE.
AHTSJournal again:
Bad News: Digital Music Sales Flat In 2010 [Needless double link to a Reut story]
Bad news? GOOD news!
Bad News: Digital Music Sales Flat In 2010 [Needless double link to a Reut story]
Bad news? GOOD news!
If CARLOS THE JACKASS turns His free Boston site into a repository of travel tips and cute cat pictures He may as well wall the whole thing off.
(Via the usual Romy)
(Via the usual Romy)
Phil Gramm says our...ECONOMY reminds him of the Great Depression.
He should know -- he helped create it.
(Via -- oh well - NRO)
He should know -- he helped create it.
(Via -- oh well - NRO)
I wrote on watching television as work long before David Carr and JPOD did, which makes the obvious sense of their argument even more maddening.
On THIS, the natal day of EINSTEIN'S FOURTH GREATEST ARTISTIC ACHIEVEMENT OF THE LAST QUARTER CENTURY, Facebook, as divined by Ben Jonson -- in 1606, in Volpone, and in the form of Sir Politic Wouldbe (!), a cross between LORD KISSINGER and LORD KOPPEL:
SIR P: ...This is my diary,
Wherein I note my actions of the day.
PER[EGRINE]: Pray you let's see, sir. What is here?
[READS.]
"Notandum,
A rat had gnawn my spur-leathers; notwithstanding,
I put on new, and did go forth: but first
I threw three beans over the threshold. Item,
I went and bought two tooth-picks, whereof one
I burst immediately, in a discourse
With a Dutch merchant, 'bout ragion del stato.
From him I went and paid a moccinigo,
For piecing my silk stockings; by the way
I cheapen'd sprats; and at St. Mark's I urined."
'Faith, these are politic notes!
SIR P: Sir, I do slip
No action of my life, but thus I quote it.
PER: Believe me, it is wise!
SIR P: Nay, sir, read forth.
He also anticipates conspiracy theories, conspicuous consumption, blind faith in technology and yuppies, but that's another story.
SIR P: ...This is my diary,
Wherein I note my actions of the day.
PER[EGRINE]: Pray you let's see, sir. What is here?
[READS.]
"Notandum,
A rat had gnawn my spur-leathers; notwithstanding,
I put on new, and did go forth: but first
I threw three beans over the threshold. Item,
I went and bought two tooth-picks, whereof one
I burst immediately, in a discourse
With a Dutch merchant, 'bout ragion del stato.
From him I went and paid a moccinigo,
For piecing my silk stockings; by the way
I cheapen'd sprats; and at St. Mark's I urined."
'Faith, these are politic notes!
SIR P: Sir, I do slip
No action of my life, but thus I quote it.
PER: Believe me, it is wise!
SIR P: Nay, sir, read forth.
He also anticipates conspiracy theories, conspicuous consumption, blind faith in technology and yuppies, but that's another story.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
There seems to be a concerted effort to turn TARP into a PROFILE IN COURAGE. Whether it was necessary or not the fact is the people bailed out the bankers for their greed, and while an alleged profit may salve the government it does little good for the rest of a nation still deep in dep -- an ECONOMY. No accident that members of the politburo like Bob Bennett are cheering themselves for their wisdom. Haven't we had enough self-congratulation from our superiors? The public has a right to be angry, whatever TARP's "success" -- and that success does not mitigate the failure of FANNIE AND FREDDIE. Count them in and the "success" disappears.
Catching up on ARCHDaily!
A Guinness Book-record-setting HVAC system!
A front-page rave review in The Paper of Re-CORD! (Which, if CARLOS THE JACKASS is smart, He'll put behind the pay wall -- permanently!)
Why must STARCHITECTS always make these stupid faces?
A Guinness Book-record-setting HVAC system!
A front-page rave review in The Paper of Re-CORD! (Which, if CARLOS THE JACKASS is smart, He'll put behind the pay wall -- permanently!)
Why must STARCHITECTS always make these stupid faces?
Now, NOW, five years after He began His schtick the fools on the Hill are learning to AVOID ERIC SEVAREID!
But judging from the third page they'll still slurp up to Him because they're such FOOLS.
“My experience with that show is like herpes. It never goes away, and it itches and sometimes flares up.”
Sort of like us and the CONGRESS.
But judging from the third page they'll still slurp up to Him because they're such FOOLS.
“My experience with that show is like herpes. It never goes away, and it itches and sometimes flares up.”
Sort of like us and the CONGRESS.
Our favorite Branson East columnist Mike says the carnival impresario Mike Nichols wants the famed Capote impersonator Seymour Harvey What's-His-Name in a new theme park called Death of a Salesman!
Isn't this carrying the reliance on celebrity draws a bit too far?
Isn't this carrying the reliance on celebrity draws a bit too far?
Katie Couric: We Need Better Filters for a "Tsunami of News"
Agreed; but one reason we have a tsunami of news is that we had filters that acted altogether too well -- like MOST TRUSTED.
(Via MediaBistro)
Agreed; but one reason we have a tsunami of news is that we had filters that acted altogether too well -- like MOST TRUSTED.
(Via MediaBistro)
We can see why a big PC quasi-governmental corporate monolith like MICKEY D's would deny reports it wants to drop health care for its workers -- it wants to be PC. We can see why it would want to drop it. Who knew MICKEY D's provided health care for its workers?
WHY FACEBOOK COULD BE THE NEXT TV FOR ADVERTISERS!!!!!!!!!!
STEPHEN COLBERT: AMERICA'S NEWEST FOOD-AWARENESS CRUSADER!!!!!!!!!! (Advertising crusading overemphasis added)
Just because a Web site's run by a 500-year-old rag founded by Ralph Waldo Emerson or James Russell Lowell or whomever doesn't mean it can't run BS too -- or maybe it does.
STEPHEN COLBERT: AMERICA'S NEWEST FOOD-AWARENESS CRUSADER!!!!!!!!!! (Advertising crusading overemphasis added)
Just because a Web site's run by a 500-year-old rag founded by Ralph Waldo Emerson or James Russell Lowell or whomever doesn't mean it can't run BS too -- or maybe it does.
Republicans played that continuing-resolution song too. Realtor Denny taught us his side could not be trusted with our money. We didn't need to elect a Democratic majority to know its side couldn't. Continuing resolutions are why we need a third party, one that can govern free from the old wives' tales of both our obsolescent factions.
We finally figured out why HOWIE HAIRSHIRT is the most singularly grating JERNALIST of our time: he is the biz' customer-service rep -- all fake apology and no action. That he makes more than many customer-service departments does not help.
Tony Curtis, who always struck us as something of a scruffian, has died. RIP.
In the back of his very generous heart Sidney Harman wants to run SIDSWEEK like a liberal philanthropy. Firing only a few people and on the business side is a mark of the news hack's priorities. We could see the ads in six months: "With a vigor belying his age, the 92-year-old Harman has transformed a revered journalistic franchise with a renewed emphasis on blahblahblah...." If one of the cadre were impertinent enough to ask about his losses Sid could reply with a vigorous 92-year-old NO COMMENT!!!!! We wouldn't be surprised if he stops making his circulation numbers public. That Sid is entertaining a merger with TINA!!!!!, a merger of equally dubious business propositions, suggests a generous heart is not enough.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
It's been a while since we've parked our carcass there, so -- ARCHDaily!
A chic concentration camp!
A hip Iron Curtain!
Architect Marcelo Ertorteguy shared with us his project “The Stone”, for which he received first prize in the Art in Architecture Competition. The competition’s intent was to generate ideas about the relationship and interaction between the two.
The only interaction I see is between that box and gravity.
What is with STARCHITECTS and SEX?
The Tidal Resonance Chamber, designed by Robert Horner is an experiment between human perception and nature; it also serves as conduit for the development of sustainable construction techniques. The Tidal Resonance Chamber provides a harbor for the contemplation and reflection on the manner in which human beings have utilized and manipulated the natural environment.
Plus it's a neat looking shipping container!
A McDonald's museum!
MORE TO COME!
A chic concentration camp!
A hip Iron Curtain!
Architect Marcelo Ertorteguy shared with us his project “The Stone”, for which he received first prize in the Art in Architecture Competition. The competition’s intent was to generate ideas about the relationship and interaction between the two.
The only interaction I see is between that box and gravity.
What is with STARCHITECTS and SEX?
The Tidal Resonance Chamber, designed by Robert Horner is an experiment between human perception and nature; it also serves as conduit for the development of sustainable construction techniques. The Tidal Resonance Chamber provides a harbor for the contemplation and reflection on the manner in which human beings have utilized and manipulated the natural environment.
Plus it's a neat looking shipping container!
A McDonald's museum!
MORE TO COME!
Overall, I think social-network sites have a generally positive effect in promoting informal associations and social autonomy. But I think their democratising political effects have been greatly overstated.
They would be, given how TOP-DOWN they are.
They would be, given how TOP-DOWN they are.
SHARON does the Thinker pose on reality shows. Think pieces are worthless because they're lifeless from the first word, and they compound their worthlessness by quoting psychiatrists and PERFESSER THOMPSON. A writer with guts could make something of it. What guts this business has is in anatomically incorrect and politically correct places. Think pieces are completely destroyed by the hacks' concomitant obsessive desire to write ad copy, whose naked touting neuters their facile moral concern. If someone can't write thoroughly justified tubthumper on such an easy topic no one can write a tubthumper on anything.
What happened when Obama met Bob Dylan?
We were about to say, what happens when NEWS HACKS meet with BILL SHAKESPEARE DYLAN -- they see GOD; but we forgot: there really can't be more than one God at a time.
We were about to say, what happens when NEWS HACKS meet with BILL SHAKESPEARE DYLAN -- they see GOD; but we forgot: there really can't be more than one God at a time.
Arthur Penn, the director of THE LIBERAL INTELLIGGGHHHENTSIA'S FAVORITE MOVIE, and a big reason why we're stuck today with TENTPOLES and UNWATCHABLE DOWNERS AT OS-CAR® TIME, has died. RIP.
The tall, sleek, curving Vdara Hotel at CityCenter on the Strip is a thing of beauty.
But the south-facing tower is also a collector and bouncer of sun rays, which -- if you're at the hotel's swimming pool at the wrong time of day and season -- can singe your hair and melt your plastic drink cups and shopping bags.
Hotel pool employees call the phenomenon the "Vdara death ray."
Kirk Kevork -- KERKORIAN! Why not a giant solar panel?
(Via HENRY HONEST!!!!!)
But the south-facing tower is also a collector and bouncer of sun rays, which -- if you're at the hotel's swimming pool at the wrong time of day and season -- can singe your hair and melt your plastic drink cups and shopping bags.
Hotel pool employees call the phenomenon the "Vdara death ray."
Kirk Kevork -- KERKORIAN! Why not a giant solar panel?
(Via HENRY HONEST!!!!!)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The effort at CNN, led by Jautz or Klein, is to keep the place just as profitable as it has been—and the self-evident way of doing that is to not change anything very much. In a news world of great passions and dramatic transformation, that’s an embarrassing and perhaps ignoble position. So when I called attention to it, they fired Jon Klein and hired Ken Jautz to continue to do pretty much what Klein has been doing.
Still, this is good for Jautz—even if not for news consumers.
WOLFFMAN!!!!!, who ever said good news for BIGMEDIA is good news for us?
Still, this is good for Jautz—even if not for news consumers.
WOLFFMAN!!!!!, who ever said good news for BIGMEDIA is good news for us?
PR for DUMMIES (the dummies being us): Moon 'n' Stars and Walmart produce these one-off "family-friendly" spectaculars to deke attention from the mountains of family-unfriendly programming they finance, directly or indirectly; and we're not impressed with 7.5 million viewers when it's a mere 2.5 percent of the population, meaning you don't reach a lot of people because you HAVE to schmooze in Hollywood.
ED MURROW defended ERIC SEVAREID last night from scurrilous charges of BRAZEN FOOLISHNESS. We know how high-horse the Beltway is but dammit we know who SUMNER is -- and he's Their BOSS. We shouldn't forget this isn't the first time the SUM has engaged in useless mockery of government -- remember when ERIC ran for PRESIDENT? But then who needs government when you're SUMNER -- and you have two perfectly docile stooges in ED and ERIC?
MEDIARIGHT, er, MEDIABLIGHT, er, whatever is to TV punditry what HENRY HONEST!!!!! is to finance. Would BUGMEISTER and AL GORE have invented the Web if they'd known this is what it would come to?
MEDIARIGHT, er, MEDIABLIGHT, er, whatever is to TV punditry what HENRY HONEST!!!!! is to finance. Would BUGMEISTER and AL GORE have invented the Web if they'd known this is what it would come to?
A president who does so little to counter the idea that he dislikes business is, self-evidently, a worryingly negligent chief executive.
Didn't we endorse Him?
Didn't we endorse Him?
Monday, September 27, 2010
DOW 36,000 IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK -- and his new name is Jeffrey Hirsch!
“He’s got some crazy number on there,” said Frank Ingarra, a Stamford, Connecticut-based money manager at Hennessy Advisors Inc., which oversees about $900 million. “We’ve had probably one of the worst 10-year periods in history, and I think there’s just too much overhang with the government for it to get to those numbers.”
1. Even the professionals aren't fooled anymore. 2. All roads for prosperity lead through THE BIG C!
“He’s got some crazy number on there,” said Frank Ingarra, a Stamford, Connecticut-based money manager at Hennessy Advisors Inc., which oversees about $900 million. “We’ve had probably one of the worst 10-year periods in history, and I think there’s just too much overhang with the government for it to get to those numbers.”
1. Even the professionals aren't fooled anymore. 2. All roads for prosperity lead through THE BIG C!
The one good thing about ad campaigns like this is that they increasingly act as an instant emetic to enough people as to be self-defeating.
And lest we forget -- this is an EINSTEIN.
And lest we forget -- this is an EINSTEIN.
Branson East is NOTHING without BOBBY VINTON!
Which is another way of saying Branson East's theme parks are nothing, period.
Sorry Bobby -- not knocking you.
The European Central Bank considered activating rescue funds for Ireland but in the end decided not to, a German newspaper said on Monday, citing government sources.
So now it can fail later!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
So now it can fail later!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
In more crusading P-Ulitzer prize-winning investigative reporting:
Study: Apple commands an inordinate amount of media's attention
The findings suggest that in the mainstream media, particularly on front pages and general interest programs, the press reflects exuberance about gadgets and a wonder about the corporations behind them, but wariness about effects on our lives, our behavior and the sociology of the digital age.
TRANSLATION: The hacks play both sides against the middle and we're stuck in the middle with their nothing.
It is now time for a comprehensive study on how the hacks "cover" show-biz, and its total idiot dominance of the news hole.
(Via the usual Romy)
Study: Apple commands an inordinate amount of media's attention
The findings suggest that in the mainstream media, particularly on front pages and general interest programs, the press reflects exuberance about gadgets and a wonder about the corporations behind them, but wariness about effects on our lives, our behavior and the sociology of the digital age.
TRANSLATION: The hacks play both sides against the middle and we're stuck in the middle with their nothing.
It is now time for a comprehensive study on how the hacks "cover" show-biz, and its total idiot dominance of the news hole.
(Via the usual Romy)
Meantime, in another part of town:
The Lions have now lost 40 of their last 43 games, which is like walking down the street and getting hit by 16 consecutive cars.
OUCH!
The Lions have now lost 40 of their last 43 games, which is like walking down the street and getting hit by 16 consecutive cars.
OUCH!
MORON -- er, MAROON -- er, that zillionaire who owns the decaying Michigan Central terminal in Detroit is still letting it decay.
[Some spokespoop for MORON MAROON] did not respond directly to questions about possible future contributions to the cleanup, but said the bridge company is "very involved" in the neighborhood.
"We do a lot with community groups in the southwest Detroit area, especially Latino groups," [spokespoop] said.
Well isn't that just peachy!
[Some spokespoop for MORON MAROON] did not respond directly to questions about possible future contributions to the cleanup, but said the bridge company is "very involved" in the neighborhood.
"We do a lot with community groups in the southwest Detroit area, especially Latino groups," [spokespoop] said.
Well isn't that just peachy!
By introducing a formal three-year degree option, UMass joins dozens of other schools around the country that have decided that students’ desire to save money in some cases trumps officials’ traditional concerns that they have a full four years to explore and grow intellectually and socially.
1. Do they? 2. How can we finagle four years of costs out of three?
1. Do they? 2. How can we finagle four years of costs out of three?
Sony Pictures, Warner Bros. and Walt Disney Co. are in talks with the largest cable TV systems to offer films for as much as $30 per showing soon after they run in theaters.
I smell -- PIRACY!
I smell -- PIRACY!