THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Saturday, July 09, 2011
Well, if we can't make steel in Chicago, let's have rock concerts!
How long can we engage in such daydreaming?
How long can we engage in such daydreaming?
We will believe show-biz content diversity when we see it. It's more than just hiring token conservatives: it's getting away from the total conformist mindset that brought us TENTPOLES, CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED properties and reality shows, and treating those who object to the industry's rampant sleaze as humans. And bringing in conservatives alone won't cut it; judging from Jo-NAH and MS. TRAVERS and MIKE and JPOD and the other slavering show-biz fans they're fine with today's rot so long as it's CON-SER-VA-TIVE.
Whatever HAP-pened to STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIIIIIIIIIKE?
It's updated once in the last seven months.
Nothing's more melancholy than yesterday's fad, forgotten.
We hope our defense secretary is not justifying His Incompetence's withdrawal from Afghanistan on the grounds we've all but "strategically defeated" al Qaeda. You don't call off the exterminators because you've only seen one cockroach today instead of ten.
Mark Steyn can be a wonderful writer. Think his ruminations on pop songs and musicals. And then he remembers he has to bow to PILLHEAD, and with his brain on automatic pilot he does write-by-numbers stuff that in so many words exonerates SLIME because nobody lost a job in the Atlanta skools. This by our reckoning is the FIRST TIME Jo-NAHdom or any other prominent con-SER-va-tive site has even MENTIONED News of the World, and now we see the soft underbelly of a con-SER-va-tive movement excusing its own favorites by denigrating its enemies.
And since Mark MUST slobber over PILLHEAD let us ponder the question: What if a SLIME came along and fired the entire Atlanta skool sistem, innocents and all? Who would replace it? And who'd bet who'd replace it would be no better than what got replaced? Precisely why people are suspicious over SLIME's motives with THE SUN.
SHUT UP, MARK, and stick to pop songs and musicals.
And since Mark MUST slobber over PILLHEAD let us ponder the question: What if a SLIME came along and fired the entire Atlanta skool sistem, innocents and all? Who would replace it? And who'd bet who'd replace it would be no better than what got replaced? Precisely why people are suspicious over SLIME's motives with THE SUN.
SHUT UP, MARK, and stick to pop songs and musicals.
Friday, July 08, 2011
Some 32,000 people have indicated they “like” the Facebook page “I hate Casey Anthony.” And 118,000 people support a page entitled: “1000000 People Who Wanna … Slap Casey Anthony.”
In contrast, 617 individuals endorsed the “Support Casey Anthony” page.
As those flash parades have comprehensively proved the infamous lynch mobs of the South have nothing on electronic mobs.
In contrast, 617 individuals endorsed the “Support Casey Anthony” page.
As those flash parades have comprehensively proved the infamous lynch mobs of the South have nothing on electronic mobs.
Betty Ford, a truly kind and gracious lady who should not but must be known to history as the founder of a celebrity drug-treatment clinic, has died. RIP.
SLIME returns to the mother ship for God-knows-what.
It is increasingly clear the only way for SLIME to "solve" this mess is to 1. get rid of "News" Corp.'s print end in a fire sale; and 2. RESIGN and disappear from public life. God knows fifth-rate entertainment is a bad enough business but it's better than tenth-rate lying. The new owner of a rebuilt newspaper business centered on the Wall Street Journals and the Times could at least stake a claim to high quality journalism, however dubious. (The SUN and DA POST! could be sold to the foolish Daily Mail group, where they'd fit PERFECTLY. FOX!!!!!!!!!!NEWS would remain with the other side to continue with its low-grade vaudeville.) As for SLIME, we submit that He used News of the World as His own personal detective agency with free reign to blackmail, and His lockstep organization men got so carried away with their devotion it became a lawless police state within a state. And we think it WAS His idea -- just as we believe HE commissioned OJ's "memoir". That NOTW and OJ share female scapegoats gives more reason to believe -- HE did it, with NO IF.
It is increasingly clear the only way for SLIME to "solve" this mess is to 1. get rid of "News" Corp.'s print end in a fire sale; and 2. RESIGN and disappear from public life. God knows fifth-rate entertainment is a bad enough business but it's better than tenth-rate lying. The new owner of a rebuilt newspaper business centered on the Wall Street Journals and the Times could at least stake a claim to high quality journalism, however dubious. (The SUN and DA POST! could be sold to the foolish Daily Mail group, where they'd fit PERFECTLY. FOX!!!!!!!!!!NEWS would remain with the other side to continue with its low-grade vaudeville.) As for SLIME, we submit that He used News of the World as His own personal detective agency with free reign to blackmail, and His lockstep organization men got so carried away with their devotion it became a lawless police state within a state. And we think it WAS His idea -- just as we believe HE commissioned OJ's "memoir". That NOTW and OJ share female scapegoats gives more reason to believe -- HE did it, with NO IF.
DID BACHMANN (giggle giggle) JUST CALL FOR A BAN (chortle chortle) ON PORN???????????????????? (HARDY HAR-HAR!) [Incredulous who's-that-retard overemphasis added]
You know, if we're going to make fun of somebody for doing that we could just as easily call for a ban on NEWSER.
By the way, what SLIME did does not just cover SLIME -- as well we should know, given the worshiper who founded NEWSER.
You know, if we're going to make fun of somebody for doing that we could just as easily call for a ban on NEWSER.
By the way, what SLIME did does not just cover SLIME -- as well we should know, given the worshiper who founded NEWSER.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww SHUCKS, here we were hoping The Lord Goddess Oprah would spritz a little holy water our way, and now we learn no, She's NOT doing the Os-CARS®.
Maybe Her believers were auditioning Her?
Maybe Her believers were auditioning Her?
TRANSLATION: POLLYANNAS like Ah-goos-tee-no to the contrary, so long as we have a housing DEPRESSION, the economy will stink.
Jobs Report Sucked, BUT S&P 500 WILL FINISH YEAR UP 8% TO 10%!!!!! (Non-sucking overemphasis added)
There'll ALWAYS be a WALL STREET CASINO!!!!!
There'll ALWAYS be a WALL STREET CASINO!!!!!
Con-SER-va-tives have been conspicuously silent about THEIR MENTOR SLIME, presumably because He, too, is -- CON-SER-VA-TIVE. (PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!) If His empire knows what it is doing it will report fully and forthrightly on its own sleaze. Any reporting will arouse suspicions but keeping silent arouses the biggest. And keeping silent is exactly what SLIMEDOM will do, because it thinks it can win PR battles from the early 20th century.
P. S. Well Matey, when You've closed every last newspaper and spun off all Your entertainment units, there'll always be Mr. No-Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Zone.
P. S. Well Matey, when You've closed every last newspaper and spun off all Your entertainment units, there'll always be Mr. No-Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Zone.
Speaking of PILLHEAD, this tub-thumping effort to revive incandescent lights is surely from the SARAH!!!!! playbook -- why, they're taking our patriotic American rights to decent lighting away from us! The problem is, those old bulbs burn a lot of energy needlessly, and science is coming up with new products like LED bulbs that can ape the incandescent's glow. And besides, how many people are really bothered by those fluorescent tubes? Maybe I'm weird (I already know that) but they don't bother me, and my every lamp has them.
OoooooooooooooooooOOPS, not supposed to say that:
NPR has a big problem with its listenership. A big part of it doesn’t want to hear anything ideologically jarring — they tune in to NPR for the same reason conservatives listen to Rush Limbaugh.
NPR has a big problem with its listenership. A big part of it doesn’t want to hear anything ideologically jarring — they tune in to NPR for the same reason conservatives listen to Rush Limbaugh.
Thursday, July 07, 2011
“They have such significant global reach across all media properties. Why would they risk that global clout and reputation on this?”
Because NO ONE messes with RUPERT.
Because NO ONE messes with RUPERT.
"Where is the money coming from?" he asked. If consumers are starting to take on more debt again by charging items to their credit card, Donnelly does not expect that trend will be sustainable. "There's no obvious source of funds."
Maybe it's coming from THE GREAT GOD BEN who ordered the Wall Street Casino to let Its cash trickle down! Pffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
Maybe it's coming from THE GREAT GOD BEN who ordered the Wall Street Casino to let Its cash trickle down! Pffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
The bad news: as we moaned and groaned earlier, recorded...SOUND sales are up, BUT:
It's unclear if the increase in unit sales translated to a bump in dollar sales, which SoundScan does not track. [*] Lady Gaga, for example, has sold 1.5 million copies of "Born This Way," but some of those were purchased for 99 cents from an Amazon.com promotion. The album normally sells for $7.99 for a digital download or $15.99 for a physical CD.
Better news:
Catalog album sales showed a 7% hike, which offset a 4% drop in sales of current albums.
Best news: The movee excretion biz had its worst first-half domestic attendance in fifteen years. THE SLUMP IS OVER!!!!!
P. S.
Lastly, not that I want to make any further sweeping statements about the state of the music industry, but I will point out that “E.T.” by Katy Perry tops the chart for the best selling digital song for the first six months of 2011, with 4.1 million downloads. I’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions from this fact.
I think I know what it means.
*Which didn't prevent USAOKAY.COM!!!!! from home-page blurbing:
Or rather:
MUSIC SALES SKYROCKET THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Skyrocketing overemphasis added]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO USAOKAY.COM!!!!!
(I was forced into a screenshot as the line doesn't show up on Google News.)
It's unclear if the increase in unit sales translated to a bump in dollar sales, which SoundScan does not track. [*] Lady Gaga, for example, has sold 1.5 million copies of "Born This Way," but some of those were purchased for 99 cents from an Amazon.com promotion. The album normally sells for $7.99 for a digital download or $15.99 for a physical CD.
Better news:
Catalog album sales showed a 7% hike, which offset a 4% drop in sales of current albums.
Best news: The movee excretion biz had its worst first-half domestic attendance in fifteen years. THE SLUMP IS OVER!!!!!
P. S.
Lastly, not that I want to make any further sweeping statements about the state of the music industry, but I will point out that “E.T.” by Katy Perry tops the chart for the best selling digital song for the first six months of 2011, with 4.1 million downloads. I’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions from this fact.
I think I know what it means.
*Which didn't prevent USAOKAY.COM!!!!! from home-page blurbing:
Or rather:
MUSIC SALES SKYROCKET THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Skyrocketing overemphasis added]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO USAOKAY.COM!!!!!
(I was forced into a screenshot as the line doesn't show up on Google News.)
This CRAINIAC Simon had to make the SLIME story knee-jerk political, meaning it isn't long before every knee-jerk news hack screams HOMOPHOBE, and every knee-jerk con-SER-va-tive pundit defends SLIME the way they've defended CONNIE....
A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!
A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!
The market's rally since September 2010 can be traced directly to the Fed intervention, more of which will be a hard sell politically and a risk to inflationary pressures.
"They're not in the driver's seat," Achuthan said. "They're lucky if they're in the passenger seat. They're probably in the back seat...."
How about the trunk?
"They're not in the driver's seat," Achuthan said. "They're lucky if they're in the passenger seat. They're probably in the back seat...."
How about the trunk?
Awwwww SHUCKS, The Sex Life of Julian Assange has been...postponed.
Maybe he couldn't get help from LULZSEC.
Maybe he couldn't get help from LULZSEC.
News Corp to Close News of the World Amid Scandal
TRANSLATION: SLIME is NOT conceding defeat.
The News of the World was Rupert Murdoch's first UK newspaper acquisition in 1968 and its profits helped him build his publishing and broadcasting empire in this country and the US.
How apt that He turns on His "firstborn" to save His hide.
TRANSLATION: SLIME is NOT conceding defeat.
The News of the World was Rupert Murdoch's first UK newspaper acquisition in 1968 and its profits helped him build his publishing and broadcasting empire in this country and the US.
How apt that He turns on His "firstborn" to save His hide.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
THE ORIGINAL TV NEWSER!!!!! reports that ELIOT SPITZER's lost his gig!
Maybe if he hooked up with prostitutes again....
(Via Taegan Goddard's Political Wire via TNR)
Maybe if he hooked up with prostitutes again....
(Via Taegan Goddard's Political Wire via TNR)
I want to see someone explain the connection between these stories:
Samsung Grabs Over 60% of 3D TV Set Market
'My Cat From Hell' Renewed By Animal Planet
Samsung Grabs Over 60% of 3D TV Set Market
'My Cat From Hell' Renewed By Animal Planet
THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE: Dubya's EVERY CHILD A DILBERT ACT has encouraged criminal behavior, which seems to have been the motivator all along, de facto and de jure.
WHAT is the point of this charade? No intelligent questions can ever break through when thousands of submitted, but asking questions is not the point: the point is to re-elect His Incompetence with a computerized photo-op -- and sell that IPO.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
The "LEGENDARY" godmother of all rock mu-SIC cri-TICS has died, and...
[she] was asked in a recent interview if there was anyone she wished she hadn't met. "Yes. The Beastie Boys," she said. "Arrogant, self-important and smirking, over-using the “f” [SIC] word in a telephone interview after their opening set for Madonna."
1. But what did they do? and 2. The only ones?
[she] was asked in a recent interview if there was anyone she wished she hadn't met. "Yes. The Beastie Boys," she said. "Arrogant, self-important and smirking, over-using the “f” [SIC] word in a telephone interview after their opening set for Madonna."
1. But what did they do? and 2. The only ones?
I'm supposed to care. I must not be the only one who regarded THE MURDER TRIAL OF THE CENTURY (well, it is the 21st) as background noise at best -- albeit the noise of an inescapable air force of gnats. The only reason this became an unhealthy national obsession is that cable, that full-figured anorexic of content, grabbed this gnawed-up bone by its suction-cup gums. Those who mention OJ forget that involved two people hideously murdered, a supercelebrity, a low-speed chase, a pretentiously incompetent judge, a father of his own future supercelebrities and the hacks' favorite way of dividing people by harping on race. This involved an ordinary person in a media profit center that wouldn't stop kachinging. More important things happened the nonce, on which the cable hacks wasted none of their time in order to waste ours.
Monday, July 04, 2011
Sunday, July 03, 2011
iPods: Who Gets the Money and Who Gets the Jobs?
Let me guess: STEVEDOM and Its faithful tithe contributors -- shareholders get the former; CHINA gets the latter. Right?
As Tim seems to be a GLIBERTARIAN we can guess he doesn't mind.
[T]hat point about high wage manufacturing jobs. There aren’t any, for manufacturing is now a low wage occupation, so it’s pointless to talk about trying to bring them back to the United States.
TRANSLATION: Let them eat iPods!
Besides, don't WE have the JOBS?
Let me guess: STEVEDOM and Its faithful tithe contributors -- shareholders get the former; CHINA gets the latter. Right?
As Tim seems to be a GLIBERTARIAN we can guess he doesn't mind.
[T]hat point about high wage manufacturing jobs. There aren’t any, for manufacturing is now a low wage occupation, so it’s pointless to talk about trying to bring them back to the United States.
TRANSLATION: Let them eat iPods!
Besides, don't WE have the JOBS?