Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

1. Gambling -- GAMING will be a NEXUS for REPUBLICAN CORRUPTION; and 2. NEWS HACKS will do ANYTHING to turn REPUBLICANS OUT because they CAN'T STAND THEIR POLITICS.

Posted 4:43 PM by Gene

News or Public Relations? For Bush It's a Blur

Reporting or spin? With us it's a blur too.

Posted 4:39 PM by Gene

We may wonder if there's any difference between the House Ethics Committee functioning and the House Ethics Committee not functioning.

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

If it hadn't been for the RIGHT-ON! WITH-IT!! NOW!!! sixties would there have been so many RIGHT-ON! WITH-IT!! NOW!!! cults preaching the RIGHT-ON! WITH-IT!! NOW!!! gospel of ME-ME-ME and leading to so much inevitable death and destruction?

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

In other news of low finance, JUNIOR's going to reap a big payday when he foists -- er, when he sells shares of Warner Music's IPO to the sucke -- PUBLIC.

Who says you can't make money in music?

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

WE WANT SCABS! WE WANT SCABS!

People will turn out in droves for SCAB GOON FIGHTING! Think those scam ar -- investors will UP THEIR BID now?

Posted 8:41 AM by Gene

If this were in the states every last liberal and social-welfare champion would plead for "JUSTICE" -- with a heavy finger on the balance.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

Rice plans no apology to North Korea

HHMPH! GENERAL would be on his KNEES by now!

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

This is EXHIBIT A in why I cannot take ANY columnist seriously anymore. Rather than write with conviction and reason and intelligence, and with the belief that the reader must be on his side to take him seriously, the columnist engages in spin and cynicism mixed with a heavy dose of irony, all the while entertaining a basic visceral contempt for his audience, whom he views as a fickle mob. This is why THE GLIBERAL and THE RIGHT-WING GLIBERAL are EQUALLY unreadable. I don't know who the RIGHT-WING E. J. is, and I don't want to know, as the LEFT-WING one's bad enough.

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

THE PAPER OF RE-CORD, the HOLY ENGINE of THE LORD GOD PINCH that furrows its SACRED EYEBROWS at the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL of CONSERVATIVES and REPUBLICANS, fortunately has enough time in its RIGHTEOUS DAY to WASTE THE READERS' TIME.

What's your new PUBLIC EDI-TOR'S NAME?

Posted 6:53 PM by Gene

INTELLIGENT LIFE AT THE CORNER!!!!!

GEORGE LUCAS [Rick Brookhiser]

I offer my opinion re: George Lucas. He and Steven Spielberg are two of the most disastrous pop cultural figures of the last thirty years. They converted an entire medium to childishness--scary sharks, space men, Indiana Jones. Star Wars is bits of plastic put together with Scotch tape. There were clever moments here and there, and more often cheap thrills. But anything adult was banished.

Spielberg so lowered the bar that when he turned around and did Schindler's List he was hailed as some sort of Dante. But who had turned Nazis into thick-accented goons pursuing the Ark of the Covenant?

Posted at 06:44 PM

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.

-- Benjamin Franklin

What if you're a blogger?

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

In other PR stunts today, THE DONALD wants to buy MISS AMERICA. Though it would give him a monopoly in beauty pageants in one way it would be a perfect fit: he has no integrity, and neither does the Miss America Pageant.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

Small but welcome news: it will again be possible to savor New York's skyline from 30 Rock. If there's a bit of greed mixed in with the joy, and though it makes one cringe to call it the "GE Building" (GE BANCORP has no offices there save for GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT; it ran screaming out of the city years ago fleeing "N----RS") it's still 30 Rock, it's still an Art Deco masterpiece, and they can't take that away from it.

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

ABANDON SHIP! WOMEN ARE LEAVING IT!!!!!

Does PINCH know?

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Why didn't I think of marketing it this way before? The critics will LOVE my new SPUNK.

Sorry Luke Spielberg, AudioAnimatronics is AudioAnimatronics REGARDLESS of how you serve it with JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

Wacko may be broke; Jay may tell jokes; and we may continue to ignore the TRIAL OF THE CENTURY.

Posted 5:11 PM by Gene

We will not forget the evil visited upon Madrid; but neither will we forget that, rather than bolstering the Spaniards, it caused them to turn CHICKEN, and seek denial in a fantasyland of appeasement and trendiness. Every terrorist grinned at the ultimate outcome, given the evil goings-on throughout Europe they may be grinning still.

Posted 1:21 PM by Gene

The Big I Retires

Jonah, YOU'RE...never mind. There are PLENTY of people in your biz who qualify.

Posted 1:13 PM by Gene

The GOOD thing is this is in TIME WARNER CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK'S BACK YARD, meaning it can turn a local story into a NATIONAL PANIC, much as it has turned WACKO JACKO into NEWS.

Posted 12:29 PM by Gene

ROMY asks ANOTHER DEEP QUESTION:

Why aren't there more women writing opinion columns?

Maybe because they'd all sound like Ellen GOODWOMYN, Ann "BOOM! BOOM!" Coulter or MODO?

Posted 12:24 PM by Gene

OOOOOOOOOooooooooh, NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "LEARNS" LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM'S OUTTA THERE BY DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You REALLY put on the ol' SWAMI HAT, DIDN'T you, CARL LIMBURGER!!!!!

Posted 12:17 PM by Gene

Gannett CEO Is Paid $5.8 Million in 2004

WOW!!!!! That's a lot of SPINNING AND SELLING!!!!!

Posted 12:14 PM by Gene

WELL!!!!! THE LORD GOD PINCH'S TEACHER'S PET (or rather, MOST EXALTED SAINT) will no longer labor under the FICTION that he's an ARTS COLUMNIST, which means now he can write PURE FICTION -- not that he ever didn't.

By the way YOUR HOLINESS, that's a brilliant idea You've got there! Double the op-ed section! Don't we have ENOUGH opinion in Your Paper as it is?

Posted 6:35 AM by Gene

More J. Gordon COOGLING:

Hillary is back to the V-chip. Notice that Hillary Clinton is always careful to emphasize the harm violent television poses to children, while appearing more agnostic and less vocal about the harm sexual content does to them.

TRANSLATION: SHE WANTS TO TAKE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE AWAY FROM US!!!!!

Posted 6:35 AM by Gene

1. Two of these bozos are sidekicks of the alcoholic bloviator IMUS, and 2. Politicians are vacuums to money. Morals? With SNIDELY WHIPLASH? With a PROUD MEMBER OF THE KEATING FIVE? Puh-LEEEEEEZE!!!!!

Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

If this isn't stooooooooooooopid: an NFL coach risking his career for scalping SuperDuper Bowl tickets? Whassa matta, don't they pay you well enough?

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

Speaking of hooks, I don't think we really have to worry about Hahvahd Mutual Fund standing for anything:

Harvard University professor Michael Rich argued Blagojevich's position before the committee Wednesday, saying the law is necessary because kids may act out in real life the violent or sexual behaviors they practice in virtual reality.

"Children are learning from video games," Rich said. "The question is: what are they learning?"

Michael Rich, meet Larry Tribe.

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

Great. Dan Ackman (who really should know better) takes that Kaiser report from yesterday and calls what the kids do with media "multitasking." (The home-page hed uses the word "efficiency.")

Been reading too many business books, Dan?

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

How does Summers get off the hook on which he is impaled?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooh, thayat SMAAAAAAAAAAARTS!!!!!

Sure you haven't watched WHAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie a bit too much there, Patrick?

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

Isn't having American Idol stars endorse music education kind of, er, counterproductive?

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Newspapers are using GIMMICKS to hide the fact that circulation may be WORSE THAN IT APPEARS.

Among the papers ranked not-so-hot: PINCH'S HOLY BIBLES and the LALATIMES. Hey PINCH! Keep running GLIB and MODO, keep INCREASING SALES!

Posted 6:54 AM by Gene

Well at least Syria's -- er, LEBANON'S new-old prime minister is making the right noises, but we should remember it was a suspicious BANG that brought on this problem in the first place.

Posted 6:53 AM by Gene

G.O.P. Senators Balk at Tax Cuts in Bush's Budget

Expect to hear con-SER-va-tives (especially folk like the BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM) complain of TAX INCREASES.

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

THE GLIBERAL'S latest op-ed piece reminds us that THE LORD GOD PINCH (or rather, one of His functionaries) will soon announce a SUC-CESS-SOR to the PUBLIC EDI-TOR. It is clear God had no intention of making that meaningless post into anything but a shoulder for disaffected readers to cry on, and feel better. Daniel served that useless purpose, but it's not clear he was good at anything else -- which happily was the whole point. God knows who writes the Bible of American Newspapering, and it ain't Mr. Okrent.

Posted 6:45 AM by Gene

And GOOG should AT LEAST sextuple after the typical EASE OF POSTING I experienced with the CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS TODAY.

Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

Will NASDAQ rebound? [Home-page hed]

Yes -- if MSFT reaches 100, EBAY goes to 250 and YHOO to 400 -- and GOOG quintuples in the meantime -- it has an EXCELLENT chance of rebounding.

Posted 8:32 PM by Gene

I will say nothing about DAN BLATHER's supposed FAREWELL for there's nothing to say, except that people will continue to hypnotize themselves before the network news admiring constipation cures and denture cleaners, crusading DO's will still have ample overpaid face time to find conservatives to scorn, and self-serving SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS will continue to sort through the finely-coiffed hairs of the DO's looking for MS WORD and BLURBS FROM NEWSRAGS.

Posted 8:20 PM by Gene

MCDONALD'S UNVEILS GLOBAL AD CAMPAIGN AIMED AT CHILDREN
Marketing Effort Responds to Obesity Controversy

KAISER STUDY DOCUMENTS CHILDHOOD MEDIA SATURATION
Sen. Hillary Clinton Uses Data to Criticize Marketers, Media Companies

These two stories are extremely related. Companies like Mickey D's spend way too much of OUR money producing crappy TV, TV aimed at selling junk to kids; and regardless of what present and former TWXSTERS may say, said TV may not be good for them, even if it DOESN'T cause Columbines. And yes, we have reasons to scorn Senators in general and Sen. Rodham in particular for their preening and gasifying, but just because Senators believe something doesn't necessarily make it WRONG -- sometimes.

Posted 2:57 PM by Gene

Lance Armstrong wants THE GAMES in PAREE!

It can HAVE them.

Posted 2:40 PM by Gene

THE PEOPLE WANT TYRANNY -- AND THEY WILL GET IT!

Posted 10:10 AM by Gene

USAOKAY!!!!! sees HORDES of the UPSCALE entering WHOLE FOODS to buy OVERPRICED GROCERIES and calls it -- A PHENOMENON.

It's bad enough when you have to watch your wallet shopping; it's worse when you have to watch it reading USAOKAY!!!!!

A special cash-register-shaped NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD for BRUCE!

Posted 9:46 AM by Gene

WHEN A = B:

Looking like a fool with the red light on, after all, is the first deadly sin of broadcast journalism. When Dan Rather committed it, the cloud of seriousness floated gently away, leaving him alone and unprotected and wondering, one suspects, why nobody takes him seriously any more.

Alas Terry, millions continued to take Dan Blather seriously for the next seventeen-plus years, which quite explains the violence of the bloggers' campaign to can him. If he weren't taken seriously would they have spent weeks debating FONTS?

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

As we might have predicted, P. R. Mel is trying to turn WHAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie into a bank-accoun...Easter perennial, but it seems he may have outsmarted himself; then again we'd expect no less from one of the WORLD'S FILMIC GENIUSES.

Posted 8:04 AM by Gene

Here is why our politics is a rock and a hard place: we have no doubt the sneaky, slimy SNIDELY WHIPLASH is in it for him, and views his career as a vicariously thrilling race to stay one step ahead of PROSECUTORS; but if we turn to NEWS HACKS to expose such FRAUDS we get THEIR corrupt politics -- the politics of PC and liberal fascism, the politics of defeat in Iraq, the politics of abortion for any reason at any time, the politics of total social license. There is thus no choice between a corrupt pol of the right and the corrupt politics of the left.

Posted 7:01 AM by Gene

No matter how good the legislation -- and we have doubts much legislation is any good -- we will always question Republicans' motives because wherever they are, the Ka-CHING! lurks in the shadows.

And once more the news hacks are doing something that gives us the willies -- they're appointing the next president.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

BUGMEISTER BILL and his FRIENDS introduce HIGH-TECH CHICKEN SCRATCH into AMERICA'S HOSPITALS!

WHAT HATH BILL WROUGHT!

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

Exhibiting love for the game
A proposed museum would honor Chicago's many contributions to the national pastime

Yeah. Like the team that hasn't seen the World Series for sixty years and the VOODOO ball that got blown up. How can you start a museum when your prime exhibits don't exist?

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

More in the annals of Hollywood illiteracy from The Book Standard:

Brad Pitt may have chosen Angelina Jolie, but Jennifer Aniston isn't going unwanted. She's slated to star with Meryl Streep in Wanted, a Warner Bros. feature to be adapted from Kim Wozencraft's novel, in which a female cop in Texas goes to prison after being framed for drug trafficking and teams with her peacenik cellmate in a plot to escape. Sheldon Turner will write the screenplay, and Plan B's Dede Gardner is set to produce. (Pitt hasn't completely split, though. Plan B is the production company he owns with Aniston.) Jennifer Jason Leigh starred in 1991's Rush, Peter Dexter's screen adaptation of Wozencraft's 1990 novel of the same name.

Starlet Scarlett Johannson will star in yet another literary adaptation (see Girl With a Pearl Earring, A Love Song for Bobby Long and the upcoming The Black Dahlia), this time in Forget About It, a romantic comedy from New Line Cinema about a woman who fakes amnesia in order to avoid her daily responsibilities. The film will be adapted by Elizabeth Kruger and Craig Shapiro from an unpublished manuscript by Caprice Crane. First set up in November 2003, the project will be produced by Kustom Entertainment's Tom Lassally, Cherry Road Films' Kendall Morgan, and Melanie Johansson. The executive producers are Kustom's Robyn Meisinger and Cherry Road's Bo Hyde.

The "gritty," "realistic" drama and the improbable romantic comedy have more in common than NEWS HACKS think. They can BOTH be unwatchable.

And here's the lead story today -- about an Indian Spider-Man. We can guess what the top publishing execs read -- IF THEY CAN.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

First it's the NFL's fat slobs. Now it's the NBA's AAAAAAAAAAAATTITUUUUUUUUUUUUDINAL fat slobs.

Do we news hacks have too much time on our hands? This is something a BLOGGER could have done. And not a very good one.

Posted 2:37 PM by Gene

ROMY does it AGAIN:

CNN president Klein considers Larry King a journalist

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

And we consider Wacko Jacko NEWS!!!!!

Posted 2:19 PM by Gene

Cablevision gave McCain group big donation, got help

Chuck Dolan, Chuck Keating, SIX OF ONE....

Posted 10:46 AM by Gene

I DON'T want to say Betamax redux, and flash media sounds an awful lot better than iPod, but you wonder if lots of people have been conditioned into carrying battery-zapping hard drives in their pockets because it's sexy.

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

WE WANT TYRANNY! WE WANT TYRANNY!

We may assume Syria bused in A LOT of the "PROTESTORS," and we may assume a few of them will stay to handle -- PROFESSIONAL DUTIES.

WAVE HI TO CNN!!!!!

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPER'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooh, ROMY learns that "MANY BLOGGERS are -- PARTISAN OPERATIVES...using PSEUDONYMS!!!!!"

Because partisan means CONSERVATIVE that means it's EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.

Time to go back to THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY.

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

INSPECTOR ERSKINE LIVES!

On an expense account.

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

NEWS HACKS in a hermetically-sealed echo chamber: to be a good boy in KNIGHTRIDDER's Philadelphia house of onanism you must raise taxes. We can of course imagine the big K's executives going all over the Beltway lobbying for tax breaks, and the super-expensive EDI-TOR-I-AL TALENT in the Tower of Babble on Broad Street searching out loopholes with their accountants in their suburban mansions. People not buying papers? That's THE DO-NOT-CALL LAWS -- or "LIFESTYLES."

Posted 6:31 AM by Gene

See, they need to raise all that money to do "advocacy" work, because, see, they're "non-partisan and issue-oriented," and they're engaged in "reform," and...

St. John of McCain -- a hypocrite? Perish the thought!

Posted 6:29 AM by Gene

Dubya appoints a new ambassador to the League of Nations -- one honored by North Korea as "human scum" -- and...

Several U.N. Security Council diplomats, who spend many hours a week crammed in a tiny room talking about contentious issues, broke into forced smiles at the announcement, saying they were looking forward to working with Mr. Bolton.

Other than that, most diplomats would only say "no comment" or "very interesting."

Tiny room -- is that literal, figurative or both?

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

The future with SIR Stringer:

Stringer has also been highly influential in persuading Sony's Japanese leadership to invest in building the kind of content library that could give its new consumer electronics offerings an edge.

He strongly urged the purchase by a Sony-led consortium of film studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, for instance — a move seen as key to its upcoming new high-definition DVD format Blu-Ray and to provide content for its new PlayStation Portable.

"That is why content is at the heart of Sony's strategy," Stringer said in a speech last March. "Like a new world orbiting an ancient sun, the broadband entertainment planet will orbit around content, as surely as the analog world did before it. Content is the flame that beckons."

Problem is, SIR, a lot of ancient suns tried the gag before and ultimately got flamed: Victor Talking Machine, Brunswick (yep, the boats and bowling people; they entered the racket because Prohibition took care of their number-one biz -- bar fixtures), WARNER BROS. (it bought Brunswick's CONTENT businesses and sold them a year later), EMI (once big in home electronics in the UK), RCA, CBS (it sold phonographs and TVs -- remember?), Philips, MATSUSHITA...and all that ORBITING Sony's done is what got it going in CIRCLES. But if you want to waste your shareholders' money that's your business. I'm glad it's not mine.

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

Elsewhere in the world of AHT, film has its "MBA" degree, meaning more hyperkinetic commercials and music videos and insulting TV shows (if such a thing is possible) and more money wasted on HYER EDYUKAYSHUN as a JOB TRAINING PROGRAM.

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Literary Novelists Address 9/11, Finally

If these folks are saying what I think they're saying, I'd rather they didn't say it.

Fortunately:

None of the literary novels related to 9/11 have yet attracted large readerships.

And even Joyce Carol Oates, the HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM of LITERATEEYURE, seems to doubt books are the best medium either. But then we doubt most LI-TE-RA-RY writers could tell their way out of a thimble.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

Joan Collins and Linda Evans will be starring in a revival of an "ill-fated James Kirkwood comedy that spawned the infamous backstage tome 'Diary of a Mad Playwright,'" and we suspect this new production may gain its own notoriety because we rather doubt Joan will look like



this.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

Sex, alcohol, little Eichmanns -- quite a CORRUPT campus you're leaving, Madame President.

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

NRO plays with its food again.

Would this drool have made the rag in days of old? Would JONAH? (He probably green-lighted it.)

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

Speaking of business, it may be slightly difficult to beat a heavily-state-subsidized airplane company when some top execs are lining their pockets or divesting of them.

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

STOCK RECOMMENDATION OF THE DAY:

McDonald's upped to overweight at Prudential

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

CHRISTOPHER BYRON:

[N]early every major media outlet in America has thus far proclaimed Stewart a "transformed" person from her five months in prison, while citing no actual evidence of that transformation since no such evidence exists.

Instead, we have the journalistic equivalent of a card trick. In it, the media have fastened on to the most hopeful and marketable transformation the Stewart woman "might" have undergone, followed sui sponte by the declaration that she actually underwent it and that we now behold the result — a new, improved, and "softer" Martha Stewart.

This amounts to some of the weakest and most transparently one-sided business reporting the American media has produced since Fortune magazine broke out the pom-poms for Enron Corp. as "America's Most Innovative Company" in the 1990s. Now, in spite of all the navel-gazing that has followed the collapse of media darlings like HealthSouth and Worldcom, with the most over-the-top reportorial cheerleading yet.

Card trick? ROYAL FLUSH!!!!!

P. S. He forgot "No. 1 in Quality of Management" and "No. 2 in Employee Talent"!!!!!

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

In an ideal world, Robin Williams would have been born a cartoon.

Would have been?

Posted 6:29 AM by Gene

WE LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUV DICTATORS!

When will some Arabs realize their Hitlermania is hurting them?

P. S. to SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS: Hitler was elected.

Posted 7:03 PM by Gene

One of CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES wants so DESPERATELY to elect one of OUR OWN -- an ENTERTAINER -- A MEDIA TYPE -- to the WORLD BANK...

Snow: Bono may make short list for World Bank

...he, she and/or it puts words in the TREASURY SECRETARY'S MOUTH.

YOU, anonymous HED WRITER, share with MORTIMER ZUCK in the NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD!

P. S. Our STOOGE was so INTENT on a little HERO WORSHIP he, she and/or it overlooked that CARLY may be on the list, and I DON'T mean SIMON. Look out world, here comes DEPRESSION!

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

Another of baseball's memorable voices, Chuck Thompson, has died, meaning there's one less reason to follow the game.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

OoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooh, Der GUVFNOR wants to ban JUNK FOOD in SCHOOLS!

Isn't that DEMOCRATIC?

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

The appointment of LORD Stringer to run Sony is the sign of a company flailing. It has had no visionary at the helm since Akio Morita invented the Walkman. Yes it's still a sexy name, from its past; but it's getting crushed by bargain brands and "NEW! IMPROVED!" doesn't sell electronics anymore; and after fifteen years SYNERGY isn't what it's cooked up to be. It is highly unlikely this company would have turned to the non-Japanese LORD if the Japanese before him had known what they were doing.

Yes yes, I know, it's "SIR"; but people like this THINK lord, and they LORD it over us.

Posted 1:20 PM by Gene

It's fine to suspend police officers for using slurs, but when the SLURS come from OUR OWN....

CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are COOKING with UNNATURAL GAS!

Posted 1:17 PM by Gene

Two weeks after his death by exhibitionism (assuming his WIDOW wasn't PLAYING TO THE NEWS HACKS -- which she probably wasn't), the WORLD of JERRRRRNALISM still MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURNS for HUNTER.

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

How typical: there, on the home page of PAPEROFRE-CORD.com, is THIS link:

'Mister Roberts' Goes to Washington
The revival of a play which took Broadway by storm in 1948 could raise subversive questions about the war in Iraq.

I think we can guess what SUBVERSIVE means. (WINK!!!!! WINK!!!!!) WELL, click on the link and here are the first words:

Correction Appended

To be sure, such words would not have appeared in the pre-JAYSON era, but the fact they appear at all, connected to a link with a highly charged code word, makes us wonder how much stock we can place in the story that follows.

SORRY, PUBLIC EDI-TOR, SOME WORDS RANKLE US TOO.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

Hey GLIBERAL! More great societal progress!

Students want police inside D.C. schools

I figure if you and your venal colleagues keep selling [C]RAP they may need THE ARMY.

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

Death Row Often Means a Long Life

ROSE BIRD LIVES!

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

I guess this is going to be A PERMANENT PUBLICITY STUNT.

At least when Jack Benny and Fred Allen had their "feud" it was only once a week -- AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE NEWS HACKS REPORTING ON EVERY PRESS RELEASE.

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

HEY BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM! TAKE CREDIT! YOU'VE GOTTEN TO DANNO!!!!!

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

Happily, when we want to sell something, we get EVERYTHING right -- almost.

TRANSLATION: Hot, sexy Motorola was at 60 in 2000 and HASN'T COME CLOSE SINCE.

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

What Bush Got Right

As opposed, of course, to MR. MARK, who gets EVERYTHING right.

Or JAMES DICKEY'S SON.