Posted 1:59 PM by Gene

We will believe for the moment terrorists were not behind the latest cable news executives' dream; it sounds more like the psycho from Jeff Zuck's dream. That said, we wouldn't put it past the Fumblers, Bumblers and Incompetents to deny it because they want to be loved by the world.

P. S. BRENT!!!!! says this was a partisan trick from Al Reut, and we wouldn't put it past Al Reut either.

P. P. S. The One used the bromide "senseless", so our Savior is officially not omnipotent.

Posted 1:54 PM by Gene

The gamb -- GAMING company Kirk Kevork -- KERKORIAN created because he was destroying a movie studio and needed a place to park its trademark is in danger of going 11. News like this makes us smile. Gamb -- GAMING was an insuperable business because it combined the infallibility of greed with the infallibility of Wall Street. THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS!!!!! we were told with a Madoffian smirk. The house may not win when it owes so much on the house; and that Kirk Kevork -- KERKORIAN could build this house with so much debt pretty well tells us his is made of straw.

(Via Cheapie Marketwatch)

Posted 1:32 PM by Gene

If it is open season on the public, it stands to reason it would be open season on police officers. If police officers aren't safe no one is safe.

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

OKAY!!!!! hid this one from us, but SELIGISM IS HAVING A SALE!!!!! Bud and George and the other greedmeisters think this will be a down year and next year will be flat, but after that it will be gangbusters again! Maybe, but you have to wonder, with SELIGISM relying so heavily on CEOs and the hacks saying New York's white-elephant stadiums "embalm" what's left of the corpse. True SELIGISM has forfeited much of its goodwill and kept on prospering. But that was before ordinary people discovered capitalism.

Posted 12:06 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: 1. The One wants to run the "banking" biz for the benefit of redistribution. 2. The men who "run" the "banking" biz want their nine-digit salaries. 3. Six of The One and half-a-dozen of these corporate-jet-flying others.

Posted 11:44 AM by Gene

We were struck by this photo of this hot modeling thing of the moment because of the eyes. It seems to be against modeling laws for a model not to pout. Models are the opposite of Viagra with their glum personality-free I-may-not-have-a-brain-inside-of-me stares. Of course that may be because they're helping sell women's clothes -- but gosh don't women occasionally seduce? What's the point of shelling out thousands of bucks for fancy garb if you're not going to make an impression? And when was the last time an actress went for the flirty look? Half a Sophia is better than none. But because actresses seem to be recruited almost exclusively from the ranks of models they too must have the Bo-Derek-face-of-stone stares. God knows this thing will come and go fast enough. Why can't somebody make faces for our delectation again?

Posted 11:11 AM by Gene

The mark of The Second Coming of The Econowiz is to restate the obvious in such a fireball way the reader doesn't know he's been burned by the obvious. Steve tries, he really tries, but I don't need anyone to tell me country music is but the rotted-out husk of its former self. I don't need it because every other music type is precisely the same way. We have to go back to "the traditional stuff" because frequently that's all there is.

Also I'm guessing this guy (like others writing such eulogies) makes too much of the drunk 'n' death songs. Roger Miller wrote the imperishable "Billy Bayou" as sung imperishably by Jim Reeves and the even more imperishable "King of the Road." Hank Sr. wrote "Hey, Good Lookin'". Those aren't downers for sure. Flatt and Scruggs were pretty memorably jolly. Heck Johnny Cash could smile.

Posted 10:57 AM by Gene

AP NEWSALERT!!!!!!!!!!

STRASBOURG, France (AP) -- Obama: Trainers being sent to Afghanistan by NATO are "no less important" than combat troops.

Can't you guys think up news? Heck, invent news if you have to. You've done that often enough.

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

The morons at Seeking Alpha discover The Electronic Rube Goldberg, complete with screaming sound effects even more annoying than Forbeslist Video. Thanks, guys!

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

Which is happier: a five-year-old celebrating his birthday or a cable-news executive celebrating a massacre?

Posted 6:33 PM by Gene

Lately I've been trying to chase down interesting music on the Web. With talk of a "celestial jukebox" it's a hopeless cause but I trudge on: and in that trudge I discovered one of my fellow Blogspotters posted this outstanding album from an orchestra conducted by Buddy Bregman, then head A&R man for Verve; but as you can see it wasn't credited that way, and indeed though he didn't lead the band it could not have been credited to anyone but its arranger, Conrad Salinger. As I said some time back that name must bring a lump to the throat of music lovers, and especially soundtrack lovers. He was arguably film's greatest orchestrator, with those always identifiable fillips of eloquence. It was not long ago this business could put forth truly civilized music. Now, we have only noise.

CAVEAT: This blogger uses Rapidshare, a punitive site that forces delays and inconveniences on your downloads unless you pony up; and he also uses the arcane .flac extension. Well, at least this was no problem.

Posted 6:16 PM by Gene

I've changed my mind; there's no way anyone can explain these things without turning into a psychobabbling ass.

Posted 5:57 PM by Gene

We'd agree Alex, most public officials aren't very bright, but then they may not have all the time in the world to bone up on questions, as your DWEEBS do for JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

This is an old rule: When a media type says "First Amendment", clamp your hand on your wallet. Okay, perhaps those Maryland legislators were prudes, boobs, simps (these words always come out when we attack enemies of the First -- little Menckens are we! Never mind that Menck would have twenty for you for lunch), but as we said yesterday, this ho-hum KOLLEDGE attitude toward PR0N goes hand in hand with anti-Zionism and other intolerance for a cause, as it springs from the same foul PC well. Further we note that KAPLAN, INC. owns six TV stations and 720,000 cable subscribers (SIC); you're hardly a di$intere$ted ob$erver. And while we understand this patriotic fervor for our parent firm, face it -- the Wall Street Casino still prices your media properties at NEXT-TO-ZERO.



A First-Amendment defending NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to EVA!

Posted 3:19 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The G000,000,000GLE-140-Character-Fad purchase talk was so much Web-generated gar-bage. We could believe it, though, as the story of the Web has included so many real-life examples of gar-bage acquisition.

Posted 2:10 PM by Gene

In THIS corner: The Recorded...SOUND Conspiracy!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

And in THIS corner: CHEAP CHANNEL!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Refereeing the bout: Whichever Congressman gets the most campaign contributions!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Have you ever found yourself hoping everyone in a fight loses?

Posted 1:57 PM by Gene

We wonder when our friend Bunsen Honeydew will come to the rescue. We can't just go on using words like senseless. There are reasons for these things. There's a reason for the sudden proliferation of psychopaths. These things don't sprout mysteriously like wild mushrooms -- and even wild mushrooms have a reason. This is where Bunsen comes in: if we do find out he'll do something to turn us into zombies.

We wonder also when our state media, which have inflicted us with so much senseless make-believe violence, finally acquire the gall to campaign for gun control. To paraphrase the NRA, guns don't kill people, psychos do. And something makes them psychos. Sorry, we think you're in the mix.

Posted 1:30 PM by Gene

And in PEOPLE WARNER's flagship:

Reba McEntire: 'Girls Put on a Better Show'

Amen, sister!

Posted 1:27 PM by Gene

Business experts and social scientists have long warned about the perils of any group of co-workers getting too comfortable with one another. A team of like-minded people sharing like-minded opinions behind a closed door — the dreaded groupthink — has produced some of history's worst ideas. (See Bay of Pigs, bundled mortgages, "Mission Accomplished," New Coke.)

...Time Inc., PEOPLE WARNER, AOL PEOPLE WARNER, PEOPLE WARNER REDUX....

Posted 11:14 AM by Gene

[S]ome centrists who initially supported Obama are beginning to express anxiety that his outreach to them may have been a vote-getting ploy. David Gushee is a professor of Christian ethics at McAfee School of Theology. In March, he was tapped by the left-leaning group Faith in Public Life to lend his name to a letter in support of Sebelius. The letter praised the governor's achievements in the area of abortion reduction in Kansas despite her pro-choice voting record. Weeks later, Gushee wrote an op-ed in USA Today retracting his signature and calling on Obama to put some substance behind his rhetoric by moving quickly on his abortion-reduction promises. "My article was not 'I've given up on you,' it was 'Please do this.' You're at risk of losing the hope and confidence of those who are waiting for this."

TRANSLATION:

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

Coca-Cola Co. is to publish advertisements in Australia newspapers to "correct" an earlier campaign that claimed its products did not contribute to tooth decay or obesity. The corrections will also amend the company's earlier message that its products are not over-caffeinated.

As any Cocaholic will say, LIKE HELL!

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

...the obscene GENIUS of Superbad.... [GENIUS overemphasis added]

What is the difference between this infernal clod and the infernal Ms. Travers except they represent two different kinds of political knee-jerk SUPERBAD?

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

CEO Pay Falls for First Time in 7 Years: Report

Unfortunately it took a lot of pigs to make this one fly.

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

The number of print magazines that folded in the first quarter reached 101 titles. By contrast, the number of print magazines that launched in the first quarter totaled 95.

TRANSLATION: We still have 12,000 titles too many.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

Sorry, we have just begun to waste OUR money on business leeches.

P. S.

ROME HAD BETTER STADIA ... 2,000 YEARS AGO

There's no pleasing these Noo Yawk sportswriters, is there.

Posted 8:41 PM by Gene

DIMWIT:

It's true that plenty of smaller newspapers without huge debt loads are in trouble. But lots of newspapers are muddling through, in part because, like our sister publication the Washington Post, they're owned by a parent company that has other lines of profitable businesses....

And how long will St. Warren and His apostles at Kaplan, Inc. go on paying for your losses with SAT tutoring?

Posted 8:04 PM by Gene

Several weeks ago WFMU posted a Johnny Carson "blooper" and I was ticked. Well, tonight I surfed through YouTube and found this Carnac routine -- from 1974 it says here -- and I must confess, stupid as the jokes are, I laughed. Note the comments: one says, "Carnac appearances were usually the only part of the show that I bothered to watch!", which rather implies it might be the only part of his repertoire that still stands up; and another says, "It's interesting how you can see Johnny's subtle annoyance with Ed." I'm sorry, Johnny did not like Ed. I guess when he thinks of Johnny Ed feels wistful.

And after finishing it I felt sad. Who remotely commands a fraction of his audience? And what audience is there for what's left of his comedy, however amusing? (It did not help my mood to watch what is allegedly Johnny's final TV appearance, on Letterman.) But I did laugh.

Posted 6:33 PM by Gene

Speaking of comedians maybe this can put an end to the Traveling Vaudeville and Big Hair Show. On the other hand, think The Great Alaskan Boar.

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

TAPPED proves rather conclusively if you could change the names and adjectives it would be NRO, albeit without its bright comedy stars.

I grow ever more exasperated with the Web's gated communities and their vacuum-sealed thinking.

Posted 6:21 PM by Gene

The head of some consultancy called Ditzco International or whatever points to the PROFOUND!!!!! influence of ED MURROW, and heightens the effect by saying in so many words the P. O. P. can fight back by being comedians, which ignores that Congresspoop Huckleberry Hound pioneered it on YouTube.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

Look, we're definitely not coming down on The Other One; she's human. But for the hacks to tell us she's Jackie indicates well enough if they'd been there they'd have given the Queen a full nelson.

We should note that CONSERVATIVE WEB SITES are making a big thing about One bowing to the Grand Poobah of Oildom, and while we don't like walking in step with partisans we must confess there is the aura of a news blackout to this one. (Sorry for the Weapon of News Destruction!)

P. S. The former GanNETt at $2.43; Scripps at $1.87; Belo at $1.52; and the CLATCH at SIXTY-NINE CENTS. GOOD!

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

If it's Thursday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:



1. It's official: Movees are turning into infomercials!

Hollywood this week gave up even trying to understand the true cost of marketing its films.

Yes but when you turn them into infomercials it's cost-free. Right, Sammy Glick...man?

2. It's also official -- the Tropicana redesign is the Edsel of packaged goods -- worse.

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

Ex-AIG CEO: I Didn't Destroy Firm, Gov't Did

1. Does this make Hank a con-SER-va-tive hero? 2. With a little help from your friends.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Excellent news for Gekko Kudlow:

Last year, the New York Stock Exchange awarded its chief executive a $4 million “performance bonus” even though the parent company posted a $745 million net loss and its stock price tumbled by two-thirds.

However:

On Thursday, board members tried to sooth seething shareholders by pledging to better align pay with performance in the future. It didn’t work.

Shucks. They don't know capitalism.

[Link added]

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

And we can't ignore this story on Chronicle.com, about the president of Cal State Chico, who was assaulted:

In addition to being targets for lawful protests, college chiefs attract visits from angry or disturbed individuals.

And some of them, alas, bring zillions.

P. S. The fellow, whose name is Zingg, has graced our blog before, saying once of his Greeks, "[Y]ou will no longer be drinking clubs masquerading as fraternities and sororities." We wonder if the taverns are back in session.

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

Oooooooops! It appears that common sense has come -- however briefly and quaintly, to the HAULS UV HYER LURNING. In academe's scheme of things PR0N is almost as sacred as Islam, strange in that of course nearly every YOUNUHVERSUHTEEE worth its exorbitant tuition has a WOMYN'S STUHDEES DEPAHRTMEANT, and that by rights should trump pr0n; but because free expression means STICK IT TO CONSERVATIVES in those SAYKRUD EYEVEE HAULS...well, you get the message. That it takes legislators to teach one SKOOL a lesson means lots of people in HYER LURNING have ADD -- mostly toward the parents, and the taxpayers.

Although you'd think a STAYT YOUNUHVERSUHTEE could screen PR0N with impunity -- after all, aren't taxpayers but turnips ready to be squeezed, and parents but clients ready to be shaken down?

(Via Chronicle.com)

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

From ARCHdaily.com:



A high-end freight car -- or a $10 million outhouse with aluminum siding!

Posted 12:21 PM by Gene

How apt: these new mark-to-market rules might make the banks' accounting even murkier, as if they don't have incentive enough.

Posted 11:45 AM by Gene

Another post-mortem -- on news hacks:

[M]ost journalists failed to grasp that Harris and Klebold had devised a plan far more deadly than anything they could have accomplished with their arsenal of automatic weapons. They had built propane bombs—fifty-pound explosive devices concealed in duffel bugs, which they planted around the building, undetected, in the middle of a busy school day. If the bombs had detonated as planned, the school building would have collapsed, crushing hundreds and possibly thousands of individuals. The two teenagers were planning a mass murder far surpassing the number of fatalities at the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.

Law-enforcement investigators often make errors in judgment and reach mistaken conclusions. Yet they understood immediately the implications of the propane bombs. Why, then, did countless experienced journalists fail readers, viewers, and listeners on that vital element of the story? Not even Cullen can truly explain this failure. Yet he’s quite clear on how the process worked: due to incomplete and otherwise careless reporting, most journalists formed their frame of reference for the story early, then screened out contradictory evidence. The lesson for working journalists is obvious, but often remains undigested. [Emphasis added]

I want someone to tell me again why I should feel sorry for this failing business, a business that has so often failed US as to deserve it. And given the way the damned GE BANCORP pasted its damned peacock over the last spectacle, one cannot help harboring the hunch the boys on the TV-news end wouldn't mind a reprise again and again -- especially as "NBC" Nightly "News" has been the ratings leader for most of the last two years.

P. S. The book is here. I note that it gets three one-stars, two from people connected to Columbine. Trying to explain that is like trying to explain our economy. I guess from these two paragraphs, we were "lucky".

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: With their overlords earning so much from CEOs wanting luxury boxes, the time has come for athuhlete-students to demand THEIRS. Division I football and basketball are NOT AMATEUR SPORTS.

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Having been deaf, dumb and blind to corporate crime, con-SER-va-tives turn their banshee attentions to anarchists, who, even if they are stupid and prone to mob groupthink and violence, haven't done a fragment of the damage of AIG and Lehman.

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with people thinking con-SER-va-tives are bereft of ideas, save for St. Ayn of Rand and dollar signs.

Posted 9:33 AM by Gene

Why does all this giddy talk about A BIG BULL MARKET RALLY!!!!!!!!!! sound to me like Wall Street apologists praying for the rebirth of BERNIE and the other crooks?

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

This is rather apt vandalism of a statue of Lenin; unfortunately, according to this report, the vandals may be in love with madmen of their own.

(Links changed 4/26/2009 at 12:32 p. m. -- thanks to the ASSPRESS)

Posted 6:22 PM by Gene

Maybe, just maybe, the auto biz will FINALLY learn it MUST move its cars, and good cars, and the way to do that is to target the buyers through informative Web sites, not by financing every new creative dog-dropping on the TV.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

The new spending is coupled with the largest tax increase in U.S. history -- $1.5 trillion over 10 years.

Who will pay all those taxes? The president says it's just the rich. But let's keep in mind that a lot of these "rich" people are actually small-business owners, and small businesses create 70 percent of the new jobs each year.

This is a typical con-SER-va-tive trope. When your typical con-SER-va-tive says it you can be sure he's only marginally interested in little guys (much as, say, Jo-NAH must pay lip-service to anti-abortionists to pursue his nihilistic pop-cultyure fantasies) and eyeball-staringly intensely interested in the hyperrich. As we learned too well under the late unlamented Dubya, little guys are just a rhetorical tool to justify all sorts of idiotic giveaways to the ExxonMobils -- and the Lehmans and Madoffs who have cleaned so many of us out. And most of them happened, sad to say, on the P. O. P.'s watch.

And it is dismaying that Sen. Gregg or his interns use this trope, for the bulk of his or his interns' op-ed makes sense: We're going bananas with our budget for what? To bankrupt our grandchildren? But that's the advantage of one-party rule in a democracy: You don't have to ask tough questions; you just force them on your heirs.

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

The motto of our defense biz:

Spend More Money to Save Money

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Hey reverse Robin Hoods! Here's "How to Keep Ad Skippers From Fast-Forwarding Your Ad":

Researchers found that creative work must rate "high right out of the blocks," said Carl Marci, CEO and co-founder of Innerscope.

TRANSLATION: Flashing a moon, as always.

Posted 11:55 AM by Gene

Viewers should see the same commercials during television shows on the Web as they do on traditional TV, Time Warner Cable Chief Operating Officer Landel Hobbs said in an interview Wednesday.

And as more of the reverse Robin Hoods' ill-gotten gains from us migrate to The Web we can expect to see the same shows too, with any luck worse than ever.

Right now, online video advertising is fairly tepid. Asked about a potential backlash from consumers accustomed to fewer ads during online streams, Hobbs expressed little concern. "What we find is that people don't mind ads," he said, "but they say give me the convenience of watching when and where I want to."

Do you have Flashblock on your computer?

Posted 11:52 AM by Gene

In the one place in the world that's still proud of its crusading stands on the Audi 5000 and Alar:

“60 Minutes was, and is, a competitive and combative place,” Kroft said. “It’s a place where grudges are held for a long time. I remember Ed Bradley, not long before he died, talking about how Mike Wallace had screwed him over on a couple of stories.”

Somewhere, no doubt, he's still talking.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 11:46 AM by Gene

"How do you justify Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour having a hair-and-makeup person coming to her office when you just fired the receptionist?"

Easy: When you're Anna Wintour -- or her BOSS.

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 11:02 AM by Gene

Hey Hank! Hank "TRUST ME" Blodget! When you pull a visual gag like that it's the equivalent of flipping the middle finger in my face, or an unprovoked verbal assault. You did it solely to offend me, your would-be reader, and I take it personally.

The last I looked, imbecile, you were STILL barred from the securities biz for LIFE.

Even a room full of bears would no doubt agree that there will eventually be a company that has at least a $1 trillion market capitalization! SO NAME ONE COMPANY THAT IS BETTER POSITIONED THAN GOOGLE TO ONE DAY HAVE A $1 TRILLION MARKET CAPITALIZATION!!!!! (Trillion-dollar-market-cap overemphasis added)

TRILLION-DOLLAR BARRED-FOR-LIFE IMBECILE.

Posted 10:58 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: It's a jungle out there -- and if kids want to unleash their inner Tarzan, so be it. Who cares if they're mauled?

One of these days something so bad will happen the Bunsen Honeydews will come up with a "solution."

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

How smelly is ACORN?

John Conyers will investigate it!

Posted 10:18 AM by Gene

JO-NAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! MS. TRAAAAAAAAAAVERS!!!!! OUTSTANDING NEWS!!!!! ATLAS SHRUGGED IS COMING TO THE SCREEN!!!!!

KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!

Why do I occasionally think of Ayn Rand as the hard-core con-SER-va-tive's version of L. Ron Hubbard?

The Rand involvement on earlier versions -- along with the verbiage-heavy sections -- is probably why there hasn't been a Rand project on the big screen in 60 years, not since Gary Cooper played Howard Roark in Warner Bros.' "The Fountainhead."

1. Interesting -- a control phreak from the grave. 2. "Verbiage-heavy" -- L. Ron indeed.

P. S. Evidently I'm not the only one.

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

Obama, Medvedev agree to reopen nuke talks

Obama and Hu announce 'economic dialogue'; president to visit China this year

Having saved he economy, The One -- SAVES THE WORLD!

Or rather, DIALOGUES it!

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

The Great Alaskan Boar is not guilty due to "prosecutorial misconduct", but that doesn't mean he's innocent.

What absolute jackassery. It's enough to make you sympathize with the guy -- almost.

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

“It’s a free-for-all,” said Arthur Fogel, head of global touring for Live Nation and U2’s longtime tour promoter. “When you are an artist charging $200, and you see that those tickets are getting sold for $400, and $200 is evaporating into an economy that you have no piece of, I don’t think that’s fundamentally fair. But it’s a reality we live with, no different than people illegally downloading music.”

When do the "music" masochists stop turning their money into water vapor?

“This is a huge consumer rip-off,” said Russ Haven, legislative counsel for the New York Public Interest Research group. “There is no benefit to consumers in unlimited scalping.”

When do AMSPEC or NRO run some typing on its virtue?

CONSOLATION: Ticketgouger and CHEAP CHANNEL JR. are near record lows, with a combined market cap of less than $450 million.

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

25 million masochists still watch the nightly news, and somehow they're less important than the folks who watch ED MURROW AND ERIC SEVAREID.

I would say 25 million is nothing to be ashamed of but the nightly news broadcasts are something to be ashamed of.

Posted 9:29 PM by Gene

PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD:

A Downbeat Obama Can Send Spending Down

Somebody tell The One's TelePrompTer -- put on a happy face! :))

Although this news cheers me up:

Another indicator that bad news drives down spending have been ratings for financial-news network CNBC, which have been highly inversely correlated to consumer spending, Mr. Donato said. In other words, the more people watch CNBC, the less they buy....

So why do people advertise on the BIG C?

Caveat: NIELSEN.

Posted 9:07 PM by Gene

Who needs Free Republic when we have Amazon.com -- and threads like this:

I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE COUNTRY AS A FORM OF MUSIC. (Overemphasis added)

Such things make the Web good for a laugh -- even as they dumb you down.

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

People in Vermont wouldn't gouge on maple syrup, would they? Naaaaaaaaaaah.

When it's your state's industry, it's not gouging.

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

I like this: London has been turned into a "fortress" so France can throw a tantrum, other world "leaders" can point fingers, The One does history's biggest HI MOM!, and nothing gets done, which is as it probably must be.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

SPIKE JONES!

Posted 3:22 PM by Gene

The Seniles, on one of those infernal party-line votes, passed a piece of...legislation on credit-card "reform." Two good guesses here: The Democrats voted for it because they didn't see bankers using the opportunity as an excuse to really ratchet down consumer lending and stick it to ordinary people. The Republicans voted against it because they think the credit-card industry would be right in doing so.

I HATE KNEE JERKS OF EVERY STRIPE!

P. S. at 5:33 p. m. America's "bankers" issue a statement:

Credit cards provide access to credit for millions of Americans and small businesses every day. Making this credit available is a very risky business and the committee’s action today will unfortunately make it harder -- not easier -- for banks to continue doing so.

Credit card lenders of all sizes will likely have to pull back on providing reasonably priced credit to a wide range of consumers and small businesses. It is hard to see how that makes good policy sense.

TRANSLATION: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! We'll get back at you customers!!!!!

Also, one Democrat voted against. Still annoying.

Posted 2:05 PM by Gene

HOW THE NEW, IMPROVED IE8 WORKS: It freezes up -- and when you try to close a tab and it won't close (even though all the other tabs will) and you summon Task Manager to shut it off, you get multiple lines in Processes for iexplore.exe! (I gather it's one line in Task Manager for each tab open. Brilliant, Bugmeisters!)

Posted 1:55 PM by Gene

Get out the Kleenex -- another news hack (this one an ad-blurbist) feels sorry for himself:

[I]n wanting to make a timely movie, an honest movie, Wright also made a film about the death of newspapering.

Images of pages rolling off presses, of delivery men tossing copies on doorsteps, of the tactile pleasure and permanence of "print" are contrasted with reporters and editors packing their belongings into boxes, marriages failing, of the "buyout" recital that managers give to journalists they're laying off.

Lopez is a star, a name columnist, "layoff-proof" it is suggested in the film. For now. But others (Stephen Root, Catherine Keener) are facing the ax in that same office (crowded at the beginning of the film, not so much by the end). An industry, one the film suggests fills a vital function in civic life, sputters its death rattle. That the film is still an elegy and not a eulogy seems weirdly optimistic.

Whatever is going on in the economy at large, we print people (especially we print movie reviewers) are all staring down the barrel of a gun and don't need to be reminded of that by a movie. The only thing that could have made this film more timely is the vast increase in workload--the social networking, Twittering and blogging, frantic efforts to expand our reach and our "branding" as the business model for our business scrambles for anything that hints of "reinvention."And [SIC!!!!!] that notion of "print" vanishes.

These are the things that stand between us and the polished, considered writing that so many of of [SIC!!!!!] us got into this industry to do, something the movie Steve Lopez does on legal pads, scraps of paper, wherever, just to get it into print. That's what is being lost.

It's enough to make you want to sit in the car, listen to Beethoven and have a good cry.

And then we remember all the things that got us rooting for the demise of your biz in the first place. When we get home, we'll listen to Spike Jones and have a good LAUGH.

(Via the usual Romy, whom this left in tears, no doubt)

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

No! NO!! An affront to art! An affront to HISTORY!!! AN AFFRONT TO CIVILIZATION!!!!!

Jimi Hendrix childhood home torn down

The man who REINVENTED "THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER"!!!!!

LET US BOYCOTT SEATTLE PERMANENTLY!!!!!!!!!!

(Via Bloomberg)

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

NBC Universal says going green saves $2 million

Which is what percent of all the money you lost by going "green" in the FINANCE UNIT, Little Jeffy?

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 11:26 AM by Gene

Now Michael Wolff, he who understands SLIME so well, says He'll make a "play" for that annoying fad Twitter, which assumes His empire sells for $658 a share, not $6.58.

(Via MediaBistro, which had to screw up the link by adding an h to "http")

Posted 11:07 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Israel has a politically incorrect government. So what? It will just cause leftists and news hacks to engage in more onanistic fuse-blowing.

Posted 10:57 AM by Gene

REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS FROM THE TWXSTERS:

Michelle Obama Denies Pregnancy Rumors

And how many rumors that maybe we should know about have you blithely ignored, o rare one-for-three-reverse-split TWXSTERS?

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

“When I am there working I pay whatever, you know, my rate is based on income for that day in New York,” Limbaugh said. “And I try to go as little as possible. If it weren't for hurricanes down here (his regular studio in Florida), I would never go up there!!

“So I'll tell you what I'm going to do,” Limbaugh continued. “I'M GOING TO LOOK FOR AN ALTERNATIVE STUDIO SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE NEW YORK, PERHAPS TEXAS -- ANOTHER NO-INCOME-TAX STATE -- AND I'M GOING TO GET THE HELL OVER THERE, WHEN A HURRICANE STARTS COMING OUR WAY, 'CAUSE I TOLD MAYOR BLOOMBERG: I'LL BE THE FIRST TO LEAD THE WAY!!!!!“ [Taxing overemphasis added]

P. S. Sorry -- wrong link!

P. P. S. Well -- there was ONE good thing about that article.

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

How apt: A penthouse "apartment" for sale at PEOPLE WARNER CENTER has gone down from $65 million to $49 million. A bargain! (It was owned by someone the limp-rag SEC charged with insider trading, the con-SER-va-tive's badge of honor.) This story ran on the first day of the TWXSTERS' one-for-three reverse split after its spinoff and distribution of PEOPLE WARNER CABLE to try to hide it. The stock still went down.

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

If something isn't trustworthy, and Gallup does a poll in which "the public" says it's trustworthy, does that make it trustworthy?

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

And how does the WAX top herself this morning? With this:

'ACCESS HOLLYWOOD' CHIEF: 'ET' LIES, ERRS, GROVELS (WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!-like SIC!!!!!)

You should know the old saying, Wax: That's the press release calling the advertorial a lie.

YOU ESPECIALLY.

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

I was about to say New York's guvnor is on his way to being a one-termer, but never underestimate the power of incumbency -- and apathy.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

This will make friends with the Slashdot crowd: Ericsson has a new computer chip that will disable your netbook if you haven't paid your wireless bills. (And if we know the BUGMIESTER BIZ it will work even when you've paid them.) Yes, this may supplant the MAFIAA for sure.

P. S. at 1:27 p. m. That didn't take long -- this is now being claimed as an "anti-theft" device, with the provision for a remote shut-off defeatable by the user. We should never place TOO much stock in ASSPress.

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

Michael "I Understand Rupert" Wolff starts with an interesting notion -- one I've broached before -- that PILLHEAD did his little contretemps because his business model was in trouble; but then he degenerates into the scientist trying to understand this wacky bug called conservative under the microscope, and then cheerleading for a Web which is "YOUNG AND LIBERAL!!!!!" And stupid. (He also uses that blithering idiot MICHAEL OF TALKERS's unverifiable stats.) Please Mike, go back to parsing SLIME.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 7:22 PM by Gene

Elsewhere in the world of consumer goods:



You're soaking in it.

I wouldn't. There is no smell more difficult to remove than green Palmolive Dishwashing Liquid. It seems to find every last pore of your skin and resolutely lodges there; ten minutes rinsing won't evict it. I don't mind the smell; but too much of anything is not a good thing.

Posted 7:13 PM by Gene

BRILLIANCE IN PACKAGING: The Big G has come up with a fancy abode for some Green Giant peas -- because they steam in the microwave! Good enough; I'm all for such cute gimmicks. But after they've cooked to open their pod you have to grab it by both ends -- and contrary to the illustrations you should not do it without gloves -- which makes it more difficult to open the thing. Then once you've opened it -- provided you haven't spilled half the peas in a sudden burst -- you have to spoon out the contents a little at a time, and only after a while can you work the pouch upside down to empty the rest, and that requires a little dexterity. In the end, the peas emerged as peas. It wasn't expensive -- I got it on sale at my local Dark Shadows (more on that later), but it was...exasperating.

Posted 6:46 PM by Gene

Three guesses who this is: we'll start below the hed:

I just love stories like this. T. S. Eliot rejected Orwell's Animal Farm.

Now we go to the hed:

And Batman Never Returned Spiderman's Lawnmower

Give up? Here's a hint -- don't click -- HE'S THE NEW FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS STAR!!!!!

One more hint:

[SIC!!!!!!!!!!]

Give up? Well, here's the link. But don't say we didn't provide enough help!

Posted 6:31 PM by Gene

More bad news for TheEconomistAtlanticNewYorkerII: This story is but a variation on the why-are-our-teens-having-so-much-sex article. Such articles are by their length and breadth mea culpa (being mostly published by SHOW-BIZ COMPANIES) and come to the conclusion that nothing can be done, which in the end makes the owner smile, and the reader grimace and tear the rag in shreds (much easier nowadays). This author (with help) alleges that girls are making themselves up at an alarming rate. Say they're having sex at an alarming rate and it's the same infernal thing. Aside from the prospect of beholding girls with faces like traffic lights or Tide bottles we don't see the crisis, except one that's manufactured, and which ultimately soothes the mind of any media mogul. JonBoy, you do not become erudite with such guff!

Or is this a veiled call for more beauty ads? Maybe St. Warren's in the wrong part of the publishing biz.

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

Perhaps the depr -- ECONOMY is showing signs of life -- CEOs are willing to show off their logos behind home plate to get into their coveted luxury boxes and harass their help for months on end. One problem, though -- articles like this (and like clockwork) quote a whole lot of people with "vice-president sales" in their titles, meaning they're as likely to be as full of it as THE WRAP.

We might note too that Rance has had to lay people off at AdAge, and there is word of Nielsen (itself rather big on hooey) merging its media trade titles, making such bullhockey even more necessary from a publisher's point of view, which is definitely not ours.

Posted 6:06 PM by Gene

This we want to see: The publisher of those inferior cleaning rags called Metro is eliminating its pulp's ASSPress fiber. Does that mean it now runs more ads for escort services and PR0N auditions to fill in the blanks?

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

Those who've followed the depr -- ECONOMY will find nothing new in Simon Johnson's article. And yet it is very much worth reading because it tells how SUPERMEN got us into the debacle, and how the same SUPERMEN probably can't get us out. He says America has an "oligarchy" (Mr. Johnson's very apt term) -- any country with Jim Bakers and CEOs will know how true that is -- and the only way really cleaning this mess is to get them out of control, and prevent new "oligarchies" from replacing them. But people clamor for a strong leader, and the bankers have strength precisely because they have the heft and can blackmail us with impunity; so much of what they've done in the crisis has that smell. We're no economist but we can't see how we can solve our deep funk without a good dose of the kind of economic ruination Andrew Mellon once gloated about -- and the bankers will find a way to pay themselves huge bonuses for that. We hope this is not so. One thing is clear: The BIG C!!!! notwithstanding, the day of financial types as clairvoyants is over.

(Via Dr. Krugman's glum column -- oddly he doesn't link to it -- via Seeking Alpha. Whoever thought he'd stop being a comedian?)

Posted 11:03 AM by Gene

Well, one good thing about living in CHICKENLAND: it's cheaper!

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

Oh God yes, I'll do anything, ANYTHING to help our industry in this economy. If you need me to run a press release for a movie I'm all for it! What's good for Jeffrey Immelt is good for America!



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO WAX!

I'm SICK and TIRED of posting THAT SOB'S FACE!

And I'm SICK and TIRED of reading all the people who worship Him!

P. S. at 11:17 a. m. Lot of good your help did, Wax; GE BANCORP just broke $10 again.

Posted 10:18 AM by Gene

Invoking Hitler and Stalin would be idiotic hyperbole, but there must be a lesser equivalent.

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

WHAT IS COMMIE PBS DOING ADVERTISING ON NRO??????????

I wouldn't know. Ask Jo-NAH. Or G000,000,000GLE.

Posted 9:57 AM by Gene

Here people have been speaking GM and bankruptcy in the same breath for months and NOW the Wall Street Casino gets excited?

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

Could the film industry be indestructible?

Scott and PAUL DRECK say YES!!!!!

And I know one other thing that's indestructible: USAOKAY!!!!!'s desire to help out.



A NEWSPAPER-INDUSTRY-DESTROYING NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO SCOTT!

Oh by the way -- GCI at $2.31. That may NOT be indestructible.

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

It is nice to dream of CEO-pay reform, just as it is nice to dream of streets of gold, and fields of cotton candy; but extreme pay is now an entitlement, just as incompetence has become the CEO's rule. We can dream, though, can't we?

Posted 6:38 PM by Gene

Good God, we can understand fads like hula-hoops. But our age must turn out a new fad every damned day.

Which raises the question: Should Al Roker look like a monk?

Posted 6:22 PM by Gene

Oooooh, I think con-SER-va-tives will be furious: One's going to run the company!

We want to see him not screw up. Somehow, he'll screw up.

Who will be his VEEP THROTTLEBOTTOM OF AUTOS?

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

ER...one good @#$%^& deserves another!

SAME TO YOU, PRIVATE!

Somehow, someday, I don't think anyone will make a film called ZELL.

Another thing: I want to know who was laughing and applauding for him. Are they some of the same people who'd use the same language to PVT. ZELL behind his back?

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

Speaking of synergy, we see PVT. ZELL's devoted a good chunk of his home page to the demise of ER, which reminds us it's produced by...well, you don't want to know, which was affiliated with -- do we really have to say these things in public?



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO THE PVT.!

Posted 4:52 PM by Gene

Rick Wagoner, who helped drive GM into a ditch -- and from the air! is resigning, a reward richly deserved. (Revised 5:00 p. m.; initially posted from BIG C!!!!! hed)

P. S. at 5:06 p. m. He's not the only one: Peugeot has fired its CEO for a steel company executive. Where's the synergy? Except cars need steel, that is.

Posted 4:40 PM by Gene

When President Obama and Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. meet for their standing Friday lunch engagement, Mr. Obama always picks the cuisine — a subtle break from previous administrations in which the president and the vice president typically ordered off a menu, and a reminder, if any was needed, about who is in charge.

Though we reluctantly credit Contentions for the link, remember stories like this. Keep them in mind with laser-guided precision when considering the source. For here is one of the purest, most crystal-clear displays of front-page BS in The Paper of Re-CORD since Walter Duranty, or at least Herbert L. Matthews (caveat: scalp-scratchin' Jonny Alter). Somebody's trying to make Vice-President Throttlebottom feel good, but you have to read between the lines (and that bald first graf spares some of the effort) to get at what one must suspect is the truth -- that Whosit's not only on an invisibly short leash, he has ten layers of duct tape on his mouth. And between the lines he ends up dangerously close to the figure of fun he is. But news hacks elected his boss president because they knew he was God -- and Abe Lincoln.

Poor Jay Carney. Does he sometimes wish he were a TWXSTER again?

Posted 11:34 AM by Gene

You listen, eager for new ideas, but somehow much of what he says seems dispiritingly predictable. Is this the best America can produce? Aren't great crises supposed to bring forth great men? Did President Obama really just compare Timothy Geithner to Alexander Hamilton? We need Roosevelt and Churchill. Even watching Obama at times, it seems that we've elected -- despite their smarts and earnestness -- a government of stumbling technocrats whose solutions either fall short or go too far. It's enough to make you want to pull the covers back over your head. [Emphasis added]

Wait a sec! Didn't you geniuses tell us The One was Roosevelt AND Churchill? Not to mention Lincoln, JFK and God? People in $5 million outhouses....

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

Back to ARCHDaily.com:



Don't sit in that! You'll be vaporized!



If this were the sexified nuclear cooling tower it looks like no one would get near it within a twenty-mile radius.



Why that angry scowl? You mad someone gave you one horizontal eye?

(Although we don't know what that second slit to the right is -- possibly the end of its alimentary canal -- or that boxy thing to the left, which may be a boarding chamber before the thing lifts off to become a UFO.)



A $5 million outhouse!

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

SLIME says the rally has legs!

SLIME says we'll be testing new lows!

Will You make up your mind?!?

Posted 10:24 AM by Gene

The CHICKENS of the Iberian peninsula, who get the shakes and turn ashen just to THINK of Islamists and run screaming for the nearest closet, find it safe to "prosecute" Dubya hacks under something called "international law" for war crimes, which reminds us the CHIEF CHICKEN mismanaged his alleged country into a housing bust.

But some American experts said that even if warrants were issued their significance could be more symbolic than practical, and that it was a near certainty that the warrants would not lead to arrests if the officials did not leave the United States.

TRANSLATION: Didn't CHIEF CHICKEN already win reelection?

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

More scintillating need-to-know news from the ASSPress:

Air traffic controllers: Madonna arrives in Malawi

Perhaps the greatest entertainer of all time didn't use a plane? Or maybe ASSPress didn't use its sense -- as if it has any?