Posted 12:48 PM by Gene

The bad news is the B. O.'s still up; the good news is THE CONSPIRACY's still making a lot of pictures the public wants to see, as witness the 60-percent-plus declines.

Posted 12:01 PM by Gene

Proof that we cannot turn to Democrats for surcease from Republican corruption, or vice versa.

Posted 9:52 AM by Gene

Hmmm:

Oddly, DeLay seems to make major announcements regarding his future just days after significant developments in the Abramoff investigation, only then to deny any connection to that investigation. On January 7, when he announced he would no longer seek to retain his post as House majority leader, Washington was still reeling from Abramoff's plea bargain. And last week, when DeLay announced his retirement, analysts were still chewing over the implications of Rudy's deal with prosecutors.

This tendency suggests there may be further major announcements from DeLay, because the Abramoff probe is far from over.

That can mean only one thing: planning to pull a DUKE, SNIDELY WHIPLASH?

Posted 9:33 AM by Gene

A eulogy for the boxing rogue Don King -- and for our culture:

Too much competition makes it harder than ever to create a new superstar.

Last night I looked with disgust (and a little jealousy) at the top Branson East grosses, nearly every attraction a sellout, and I thought, how could such junk make so much money? In Branson East there is no competition; each free standing theme park draws its faithful. Other entertainment endeavors aren't so lucky; you can't tell one property from the next because, as in boxing, so many mediocrities compete -- and as boxing has seven heavyweight titles, show-biz has awards. It's not just sport with a problem, and it's not just mediocrity's profusion that makes this such a dreadful age for sport and for culture.

Posted 7:26 PM by Gene

To end our posting for the day on a pleasanter note, I quote from a quickie paperback called Swingin' Chicks of the 60's, and a chapter about that small-screen sex symbol Tina Louise:

According to her interview in Pinup magazine, Tina sometimes had a playful attitude about her sexy image when she ws a castaway. "In one episode Tina was to take a shower in a makeshift stall....[S]ince the bamboo shower door would hide her from the shoulders down and wouldn't show anything but her head, shoulders, legs and feet, Tina announced she would be shooting this scene in the nude. Word got around the set and by the time they were ready to shoot the scene the catwalks [!] above the set were filled with electricians, carpenters, and every grip that suddenly felt they had a job to do aboe the infamous shower scene. Tina arrived in a sarong-type bathing suit and entered the shower never looking up at the gawking men.

"While some 45 workers gazed down, Tina removed her bathing suit only to reveal another bathing suit underneath."

They don't make sex symbols like that anymore.

Posted 6:25 PM by Gene

A SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER opines:

Ellen Goodman writes a typically self-serving bit of MSM posturing today, full of the now-commonplace MSM McCarthyite tactic of blasting unnamed conservative bloggers, this time for their treatment of Jill Carroll.

But she doesn't name anyone in particular, which gives the game away.

Goodman slams a group without the specifics that would allow her audience to judge the reliability of her accusation.

How Tailgunner Joe of her.

There may be bloggers guilty of the sin she describes, but she doesn't name even one of them.

How MSM.

How OOPS.

There is, granted, too much name-calling in blogs, and too many ad hominem attacks. We're all guilty of these sins. We must note, however, that one reason for the name calling is past news-hack credulousness with liberals and other MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM favorites. How often have we seen the hacks go into partisan rhapsodies and spin symphonies? How often have we heard of the GREENHOUSE EFFECT? WOMAN OF THE YEAR OF THE WOMAN is a victim of her fabulous early publicity. And the more the hacks praise someones the more we question their purity; the term "reverse psychology" is not in their dictionary.

That said, who takes care of bloggers when they're wrong? At the height of Blathergate THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM would never admit to wrong, and they still can't. And what ombudsman can take care of SAM LITTLE and his many fatuous and malevolent errors? Meantime KOS claims to elect public officials with his tantrums. Our only solace is that even the biggest of BIGLITTLEMEDIA command small crowds compared to the biggest newspaper sites, and relatively few people read blogs, or trust them. And a rank amateur does not become professional due to hits.

We believe public figures who do wrong deserve any abuse short of libel and threats to their safety. Jill Carroll was a hostage and did no wrong, and for those reasons alone did not meet the criteria. Episodes like this will not stop the loudmouths from doing something bad, and it's only a matter of time before the mob rule of bloggerdom creates a real tragedy.

Thankfully most blogging dies away before the bloggers hit the enter key -- and as fools like B. S. Defender prove, they are their own worst enemies.

P. S. SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER posted his tirade three hours after the Public Eye piece appeared, which at least shows the problem with a newspaper of one.

P. P. S. I'm sure if B. S. Defender saw our blog (he surely never will) he'd launch into a whining jag that we quoted him out of context. The problem is he wrote that line so boneheadedly it invites quotation purely for its boneheadedness -- and as we've said before, B. S. has defended B. S. repeatedly.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Cable Providers Aim to Add More Services

TRANSLATION: Cable Providers Aim to Squeeze More Turnips

Posted 3:15 PM by Gene

Half the staff of Stale.com's thinking up ideas for the NEW! IMPROVED!! LIBERAL MOVEMENT!!!

And Bruce, bless his soul (assuming at Stale.com they know what a soul is), can't even tell us what all these wonderful new ideas are, except Bob Rubin's working on tweaking the economy.

I don't think self-abuse qualifies as a new idea.

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

Bud Ads Coming To a Cell Phone Near You

Wow! I'm excited!

So are all the kids!

Posted 10:41 AM by Gene

We rather suspected the GM of hack writing would win. How can you prove plagiarism in genre fiction?

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

The latest tasty-morsel statement from Forbes.com:

"There is no such thing as a good excuse."
-John P. Grier

He never read con-SER-va-tive Web sites.

P. S. Figures: He was an editor of Forbes -- and he used the pen name of a horse.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

If students could move an old two-ton cannon from coast to coast, think what could happen if they DID something!

That scares us.

Posted 9:02 AM by Gene

THE CONSCIENCE of MOVIES gets into the REALITY-TV biz!

He's looking for someone to make more live-action Road Runners -- with a CONSCIENCE!

Or something.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

ANNOYING: Amity Shlaes, who used to work for THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION or some such true-believing outpost, lashes at Massachusetts, er, NEW YORK would-be governor Bill Weld for proposing state income tax cuts for "the middle class." The problem -- and it's ALWAYS the problem with a certain con-SER-va-tive -- is that YOU-KNOW-WHO would pay more. She proposes a flat income tax, or no tax. We can see the virtue in that; but the problem is, when a con-SER-va-tive proposes these things we must always look with suspicion, as when con-SER-va-tives propose lower taxes for "the middle" they're usually not doing it to flatter the middle -- and most of those proposing tax cuts are NOT in the middle anymore. We doubt Amity's seen it in YEARS.

She also says it would increase the state's deficits. Since when has THAT been a problem?

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

How apt that that "missing" Norman Rockwell painting was forged by a man who drew HENRY, the mouthless, bulbous, INSCRUTABLY UNFUNNY wonder.

That guy made Rockwell look like Michelangelo.

(Via ArtsJournal.com)

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

WOMAN OF THE YEAR OF THE WOMAN had a BAD HAIR DAY!

That and a few other things.

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

A NOO YAWK POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! staffer SHAKES DOWN a BILLIONAIRE!!!!!

And he chose the WRONG BILLIONAIRE to shake down: it's THAT SUPERLIBERAL who's bidding for KNIGHTRIDDER'S ORPHANS! I think we'll have HOT NEWS in the years ahead!

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

Chuck Krauthammer offers a reasonable compromise in the immigration war: grant amnesty for current illegals (it's the "humane" thing to do) and build a wall to keep new ones out. Building that wall, he says, will take "national will." We haven't had "national will" in years.

Posted 2:44 PM by Gene

I have an idea, Zelig Selig: when Barry Bonds* breaks* the home-run record*, have Mark McGwire* and Sammy Sosa* come down onto to the field to compare BICEPS.

And if you need a sponsor for the home-run chase, get a drug firm.

Posted 1:31 PM by Gene

Hey Doc, we wouldn't be handing out the seegars just yet. (Oh, we forgot, they cause cancer.) You still have to go to a conference, and the House may not be enamored with patting 11 million illegals on the back.

Posted 1:03 PM by Gene

Em to Kim: Lose yourself

World to Em: GET LOST.

Posted 12:09 PM by Gene

We're not crazy about RIGHT-WING MODO, but if news hacks want to use SPEAKING FEES as a WEAPON, we can think of a lot of LIBERAL news hacks who don't deserve their outrageous stipends either.

Posted 11:12 AM by Gene

DeLay can get pension as soon as he resigns

Goody!

Posted 10:49 AM by Gene

Kenya sparks panic with plane crash 'drill'

The sad thing is, this being Africa, if it had been real only scavengers would have shown up.

Posted 10:41 AM by Gene

THE CONSPIRACY's efforts to keep its MASTERWORKS from the AD-BLURBISTS are under fire as the ROOTKIT MOVIE CO. withholds a grand successor to the AHT of BILLY WILDER that gets reviewed anyway by an ANGRY CRI-TIC who's OPPOSED TO THE WAR.

What that has to do with "fart jokes" is beyond us, but it DID get it into ROMY!

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

GE BANCORP and REALTY ENTERTAINMENT NEWS plays PC GOTCHA on NASCAR!

AND IT DOESN'T WORK!

NASCAR is in the final year of a broadcasting agreement with NBC Sports.

Hmm, could this be the reason? NAAAAAAAAAAH.

(Via, I hate to say it, the FREEP)

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

Oops:

DeLay may well be innocent of all charges against him, as he says. But even if he is acquitted, the Washington political culture, which turns supposed public servants into career politicians, should be indicted. Too many people come to Washington with delusions they can "change the system." But many become like those ionic breeze devices. They begin to attract dirt from their surroundings. The seduction of power causes them to lose focus and begin to serve themselves first and the country second, if at all....

Term limits for Congress is the answer, not phony changes in ethics rules that are easily ignored, or circumvented. The problem with term limits, though, is that members of Congress would have to approve them and too many seem too ethically challenged to do that.

Too true.

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

• New species of parrot, mouse discovered

We COULD say something about several species of HUMANS, but we will pass.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Report: Many TV Stations Mask PR as News (NYT) (MediaBistro link)

A fine way to celebrate the hundredth anniversary of the PRESS RELEASE!

I believe it's time for the NEWS RAGS to SING ALONG!

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

When the PERFESSERS at UGA (ugh!) speak of TOLERANCE, we can imagine how they feel about anyone to the right of MSSSSSSSSS. PELOSI.

Didn't you guys give an award to Howdy Doody?

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

What's irritiating about the Lucy Van Pelt...er, KATIE story is it reaffirms how IMPORTANT news hacks are -- even when they're busy telling us they're not that important anymore. We see that in ROMY's use of the word "HISTORIC" (Mensa Man does NOT use it in his story). SUMNER's changing the face in front of the TelePrompTer and it MATTERS.

And what's just as annoying is all the hacks wasting billions of column inches guessing what sort of job Lucy will do when she's not scheduled to begin until August.

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

The midget R. EMMETT complains of a lack of -- STATURE:

There were in the 1960s and 1970s a lot of relatively young people arriving in government abounding with stature, for instance, Henry Kissinger, George Shultz, and Jeane Kirkpatrick. [THEY were YOUNG?] Outside of public service, in the realm of public thought, there were plenty of intellectuals of stature. Recall if you will William F. Buckley, Jr., John Kenneth Galbraith, or Gore Vidal -- my old pal. Who are their equivalents today? Well, yes, there is Britney and I guess Paris Hilton.

Well, I suppose you could miss such folks, though every name's contemptible. We too wish we didn't live in an age of pygmies, but if not having Henry the Ks and Gore Vidals is the price, so be it.

Posted 6:32 AM by Gene

Now that NOO YAWK is shoveling money into George Steinbrenner's face we shall go back to referring to Honorary Mayor Mike.

Posted 6:25 AM by Gene

Shucks, WOMAN OF THE YEAR's case is going before a grand jury, giving her more reasons to pout, and news hacks more reasons to flip out the R CARD.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

And God, Mr. WHINY MELODRAMA of the TWXSTERS, I'm sick and tired of quoting THE MASTER's louse-and-flea line, but your spitball contest with the Professor WINS THE PRIZE.

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

B. S. Defender gasses again:

What’s saddest about this is that it reveals no vision for the news. The ballsy news exec would have said it was time to break away from the pack and invent the news show for the news age: to perform the equivalent task to what Alan Rusbridger et al are trying to do at The Guardian, moving past paper.

If I recall correctly Mooner briefly talked about your new paradigms -- indeed he got you extremely giddy when he said he might bring on THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY!!!!! Unfortunately, you can't have four people doing the evening news -- we seem to have forgotten the cat fights between Harry and Bahbah, and the loving duo of Dan and Connie -- and the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers spends too much flogging incontinence aids and denture adhesives to take that chance.

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

Alas, the Plank has gone somewhat soft on WOMAN of the YEAR. A few more stridencies (like this inane blather blasting Lynn Swann's football career solely because he's a Republican) and it's in danger of becoming the POWERLINE!!!!! of the left -- with better graphics.

Or to put it another way, Mike Crowley would be a PERFECT FIT at the CORNER -- if he were con-SER-va-tive.

Posted 3:52 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: KOS is MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM, and should not be called a "BLOGGER" anymore, but BIGLITTLEMEDIA.

(Via the inevitable ROMY)

Posted 3:30 PM by Gene

Somebody named James K (sic) Galbraith must have listened to RUSHBO yesterday -- and was determined to do him one better:

Full collapse didn't come until 1995, when Newt Gingrich and Tom DeLay took control. From then on, the House became a shell, its staffs and study groups DESTROYED, its independence GUTTED, its traditions of debate and compromise THROWN AWAY. Under DeLay's gang, the LOBBY RULES! BILLS THEY DRAFT ARE VOTED WITHOUT AMENDMENT, ESSENTIALLY WITHOUT DEBATE, OFTEN WITHOUT SO MUCH AS HEARINGS!! IT'S BARELY A BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT, LET ALONE A CO-EQUAL BRANCH, FAR FROM A DELIBERATIVE BRANCH, ANYMORE!!!!!

Okay Jimmy, we don't like how the Republicans do things, but the Dems ran the House this way for decades -- which prompted a REPUBLICAN TAKEOVER. You seem to believe if we'd just hand power back to the Dems, all would be well. Unfortunately, you appear not to have lived as we have -- under BIPARTISAN CORRUPTION.

But then you're "the Lloyd M (sic) Bentsen Jr (sic) chair of government/business relations at the Lyndon B (sic) Johnson school of public affairs, the University of Texas at Austin" (translation: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!!!), so we wouldn't expect you to know better.

By the way Guardian, do you REALLY think you should call what you insist is a "blog" "CommentisFree"?

Posted 1:06 PM by Gene

The Osama Channel's boss SPEAKS:

But you still offer Osama bin Laden his biggest platform.
Our motto is, opinion and counteropinion.

OPINION: Jews are slime.

COUNTEROPINION: Jews are evil, bloodthirsty slime.

Posted 11:44 AM by Gene

Plumbers working on CONCAST's Taj Mahal will get to install needless pipes after all, meaning another expense BRIAN ROBBER can pass onto His turnips.

Posted 10:27 AM by Gene

Meantime the equally fatuous Boomers are puffing up the real-estate bubble, which makes us wonder where all these rich people came from. Do they actually work for a living?

On days like these we wish there weren't such a thing as USAOKAY!!!!!

P. S. Hmmm:

Is Reliance on Real Estate a Crack in the Foundation?

Nationally, real-estate-related industries accounted for 74 percent of new jobs over the past five years....

At the end of 2005, 11 percent of Washington area jobs were held by real estate brokers, construction workers, mortgage brokers or otherwise tied to real estate, according to an analysis of Labor Department data by Moody's Economy.com. That's the highest level in the 35 years the data go back.

Sounds like good news to me!

Posted 10:25 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Gen X (I HATE that term) dumbs down to the level of its kids.

With luck, it won't work.

Posted 10:18 AM by Gene

Surprise: Some people don't want to watch TV commercials!

However, judging from these numbers, many people do -- unless, as we suspect, they use their TVs as bug lights.

Posted 9:57 AM by Gene

So far this year, 11 movies have not screened for critics before opening day, including the Rob Schneider-David Spade sports comedy ''The Benchwarmers'' and Mo'Nique's fashion comedy ''Phat Girlz,'' both opening Friday.

During the same period last year, just two movies did not screen in advance for reviewers.

Now Sammy, if we work hard enough, maybe we can get to the point we won't have to screen ANYTHING!

(Via ArtsJournal.com)

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

With the swelling influence of the Internet and the blogosphere, the pressure to generate instant commentary is only going to grow more intense. But it is a deeply unhealthy impulse, and commentators -- in every medium -- should resist it. It's nice to be first. It's better to be right.

Tell that to SAM LITTLE.

(Via the usual ROMY)

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

SHUCKS, here the last couple of days we've run all this PR about how Wal-Mart has finally become OUR kind of company -- and it STILL won't advertise in your rags.

For once, the joke's on you.

Posted 9:19 AM by Gene

So Dave, you're saying SNIDELY WHIPLASH helped turn the GOP into a SLEAZEBALL party -- and you're PROUD of it?

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

We are sorry to learn that Gene Pitney has died. I know he was a "rocker" (nominally speaking; stylistically he really had more in common with Frankie Laine and Johnnie Ray) but he was also a great performer. One of our favorites is "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance", the song that made Pitney and Bacharach and David famous, and justly so, whatever people may say of "lounge music." RIP.

Posted 8:03 AM by Gene

LES MOONVES?

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

H & R BLOCKHEADS:

Commercial tax preparers made errors, sometimes amounting to more than $1,000 in incorrect refunds and overpayments, in 100 percent of returns brought to them by a government agency seeking to test the accuracy of work done by large chain tax-preparation firms.

On the other hand this is a government agency checking on how well people prepare ITS tax returns. Six of one....?

Posted 6:41 AM by Gene

NEWS HACKS HUG THEMSELVES AGAIN: We forget that William Cullen Bryant edited what is now THE NEW YORK POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We also forget that Emily Dickinson's poetry first appeared in newspapers. With lines like

Tell me what it's like. Make me fall in love
with the dirtball murder in Kensington, the wasted life
of the 16-year-old crack-dealing honor student
who might have been a star for U.C.L.A., the priest
who tried to save him, the boy's chalk silhouette
fading on the rainy street, the killer who shot him
because he wanted his shoes and loved nothing in this life
but the crazed Rottweiler he kept on a silver leash.

we are apt further to forget.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

Someone named Gloria Monty has died. She brought sci-fi to soap operas. RIP.

Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

Somethings called "the Wisconsin Green Party and the Wisconsin Network for Peace and Justice" have staged a TRIUMPHANT resolution to BRING THE BOYS (well, we're savvy here; we don't call them RAPISTS or PIGS or WAR CRIMINALS or such) HOME. It must have been triumphant because NEWS HACKS reported it.

Now let's see you bring them home before Inauguration Day, 2009.

Posted 8:40 PM by Gene

Hef loses another publicity stunt.

Posted 8:38 PM by Gene

Study shows premature babies can feel pain

We will STILL march to the KLUMPH! KLUMPH! of the TRUTH about abortion.

Posted 8:23 PM by Gene

NRO, as we'd have guessed, falls HOOK, LINE AND STINKER.

Posted 7:49 PM by Gene

TOMORROW AT 7:30 A. M. EASTERN, LUCY VAN PELT ANNOUNCES SHE'LL BE A GODDESS!

Posted 7:47 PM by Gene

Jesus Could Have Walked on Ice, Scientist Says

There seems to be a debunking mood amongst the holy cadre of scientists. Let us remember where Jesus offered the way, the truth and the light, scientists offer plenty of heat from such holy inventions as NUCLEAR BOMBS.

Posted 7:42 PM by Gene

RUSH ON A ROLL -- which, however you slice it, may lead to indigestion:

THE DRUMBEAT CONTINUES FROM CERTAIN SECTORS OF THIS COUNTRY TO MAKE SURE THAT THE PREVIEW, THE TRAILER [SIC] FOR UNITED 93, THE NEW MOVIE THAT OPENS ON APRIL 28TH ABOUT THE FOURTH HIJACKED AIRPLANE THAT DID NOT HIT ITS TARGET, DOESN'T GET SHOWN!! PEOPLE ARE SAYING, "IT'S TOO SOON. IT'S TOO SOON, IT OFFENDS ME! IT OFFENDS SOME PEOPLE. IT'S TOO SOON!" THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE THAT CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE ABU GHRAIB PHOTOS!!!!! SAME PEOPLE THAT CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE SUPPOSED TORTURE AND TERROR THAT WAS BEING COMMITTED AT CLUB GITMO!!!!!!!!!!

Rush, why didn't you do something clever -- like defend your dear buddy SNIDELY WHIPLASH?

You're -- uh, HYPER, Rushbo. SNIDE's resignation bother you? Taking those pills again?

Posted 3:54 PM by Gene

In September I said, "Who wants to wager SNIDELY RESIGNS when it becomes too embarrassing -- or too EXPENSIVE?"

In January I predicted, "SNIDELY leaves the roost either this term or next to work as a SUPERLOBBYIST, which is where his heart was all along -- assuming he isn't convicted of something."

Who'll bet SNIDELY pulls a DUKE and COPS A PLEA?

Posted 3:10 PM by Gene

Hey guys, if we paint this as a CHEAP, PARTISAN, REPUBLICAN ploy -- in short, if we HACKS can pull another OJ -- WOMAN OF THE YEAR gets off SCOT-FREE!!!!!

To bait still more JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS.

Posted 3:03 PM by Gene

Even RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S WEEKLY STANDARD doesn't believe SNIDELY!

Posted 2:16 PM by Gene

Wal-Mart to Add Jobs in Struggling Areas

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL! I am SO impressed! But why did you have to wait until you'd gutted every town in rural America and built 500,000 of your BOXES in every last SUBURB and EXURB before doing this?

Or is this part of your plot to become BLUE-STATE PC?

Posted 12:14 PM by Gene

Rog, I am just CRESTFALLEN that Dave can no longer spend "up to $50,000 a pop" to provide hit tunes for THE GREATEST ARTSTIC ENDEAVOR OF ALL TIME.

He should have saved the money and put it into PUBLICITY. Pfffffffffffffffffft!

P. S. I am equally upset that the budding relationship between you and Katie didn't work out, but look at it this way -- you saved a lot of money by getting CLEAR of the CLEAR.

Posted 11:04 AM by Gene

DeLay Tells Fox: I Want a GOP Majority

...and I don't want any CONVICTIONS to stop us!



(SNIDELY'S pal SUPER-HERO says, "Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")

Posted 10:58 AM by Gene

JUXTAPOSITION of the DAY:

"Official media" are too deferential to power, says Corn

"60M" chief responds to critics of segment on golfer Woods

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

The "director" of Die Hard is about to be arraigned for lying to the FBI about his involvement with MR. HOLLYWOOD SUPERDETECTIVE.

Who's next?

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

BLOWOUT. What a sweet word. Not that I'm a Gator fan; I couldn't care less which bunch of mercenaries wins. It's sweet because all those six-digit HACKS can't boast of their presence with words like "thriller" and "classic." It's sweet because all those ADVERTISERS wasted all that money. It's sweet because all those high-muckymucks who sit on their hands at these events had to squirm and be BORED. I LOVE blowouts.

Just one bad thing: Corporate America's clerks and secretaries will suffer for days as countless CEOs scream: "I WAS AT THE NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP AND YOU WEREN'T -- AND IT WAS THE MOST @#$%&* BORING GAME I EVER SAW!!!!!"

P. S. A game show beat the game.

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

In hindsight the last straw for SNIDELY was that aide pleading guilty. Now this wasn't a persecution; now there's a real chance for a conviction. Neither in hindsight can we say he doesn't deserve it.

Our superiors the caterwaulers will be at it ALL DAY. The RUSH/HANNITY/MILLENNIUM BLOGGERS/FREEP axis will scream, HE WAS RAILROADED! He had a good conductor. THEY TARGETED HIM BECAUSE HE EFFECTIVELY LED THE PARTY! To what? Excessive spending? Criminal behavior? Some leadership.

And before you get so excited they STRAITJACKET you, KOS, BABS's one term will be all about IMPEACHMENT, and when she can't get a MAJORITY of the HOUSE to vote for the articles, she's FINIS. Of course we can foresee the consequences: MORE TAX CUTTING, SPENDING AND CORRUPTION. Talk about your HOBSON'S CHOICE.

Posted 3:41 PM by Gene

We may wonder too. The best we can hope for is castor oil; or worse, The High and the Mighty with a lousy ending; or worst of all, schlock. I won't be fool enough to predict this one; WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie proved for all time moviegoers are an S&M lot. But people may see through the drama to an industry that may not be sincere in its motives. How can any industry be sincere when it makes violent porno movies and "family" films?

Posted 2:27 PM by Gene

How surprising: sex in media leads to sex in real life.

I'm sure it won't be long before B. S. Defender and his friends the Abramoffs in show-biz start obfuscating matters. To these scholars' credit that they didn't mention talk or condoms as a solution; perhaps with words like "media as a kind of sexual superpeer" they finally realize that, faced with SEXUAL SUPERPEERS like RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and SUMNER, there's not a whole heck of a lot talk and condoms can do.

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

VIN SCULLY ON BARRY BONDS* BREAKING* THE RECORD*:

"I would just as soon it not happen against the Dodgers," Scully said. "With Aaron, it was a privilege to be there when he did it. It was just a great moment. With Bonds, no matter what happens now, it will be an awkward moment. That's the best word I can think of now. If I had my druthers, I would rather have that awkward moment happen to somebody else."

I want somebody to have the GUTS to call VIN SCULLY a RACIST.

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

We wonder if this is such a hot idea. GMAC is a money machine. Why ditch it when the only thing you sell is SUVs -- and not very well at that?

Plus it's selling to the sinister CERBERUS firm, an appetizing cross between the CIA and Skull and Bones.

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

MCDONALD'S STEELS FOR ASSAULT ON IMAGE!!!!!!!!!!

1. This is a PETA/vegan attack. I'm sure we ALL want to eat VEGAN! 2. Mickey D's survived Super Size Me. 3. Mickey D's has survived the bad food, the worse service, the messy stores, financing trillions in junk television, and all manner of Ronald McDonalds exposing themselves.

McDonald's is insuperable.

P. S. We note nothing came of the [C]RAP-payola and hip-hop-duds embarrassments ADAGE hyperventilated over, except for brief episodes of highly deserved bad PR.

Posted 8:06 AM by Gene

Katie is the real-life story of Lucy Van Pelt growing up to be a queen. Only she gets to be -- a GODDESS. If we were her we'd check on our immortality. When DAN BLATHER started he faced the professional crank Reed Irvine and little else. Now there's BRENTCORP and a whole army of bias spotters; The BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM no doubt have dozens of interns looking for fonts. And Katie has the added advantage of having said and done stupid things. Katie won't bomb -- that's highly unlikely -- but with thousands of gnats buzzing over her every word it will not be a walk into the pantheon of -- GODS.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

HEARST PROSTRATES ITSELF BEFORE SPEAKER BABS!

Uh, have a tax break you want, Citizen Hearsties?

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

THE REVENGE OF IVAN LENDL: Wrong-Way's lapping the field reminds us of what happens when a sport has no personalities. Doubtless when he putts on eighteen he'll receive the same rousing ovation as, er, Vijay. Tennis began its long slow decline into nothingness when Ivan Lendl won 400 majors and got a lukewarmer reception each time. Golf is following in the same torpid track. We would challenge even the most diehard golf nut to identify half the folks on the leaderboard. Except among wastrel CEOs and ZILLIONAIRE TOADYING NEWS HACKS even THE GOLFING MACHINE has lost some luster. When a game becomes a mere exercise in physical prowess, it ceases to be interesting. Those who think sports are forever should look at how so many are in decline, having been Lendlized by superior ciphers into boredom.

Posted 4:48 PM by Gene

"I would have never imagined I would be in the same space with -- Gary Sinise!!!!!" [Overemphasis added.]

That is precisely THE BIZ' problem: people can't imagine any better.

"In Hollywood, you could be talking to the receptionist and four weeks later, they're the development director."

That is precisely THE BIZ' problem too.

Why does TRIBCO want to grow up to be in entertainment?

Posted 3:04 PM by Gene

Potential presidential candidate John McCain says he longer considers evangelist Jerry Falwell to be one of the "agents of intolerance" that he criticized during a previous White House run.

BOOBS McKEATING IS...oh, never mind.



(SUPER-HERO says, sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 1:51 PM by Gene

Grateful Dead leader's toilet stolen

And how many serious stories did you have to knock off the home page to get this one in, o SOB worshipping GanNETtoids?

Posted 1:40 PM by Gene

I have a way NASA could revive its manned-flight program: send PAUL DRECK into orbit. If we're going to send anybody into space it should be him; and he'd save the government billions because he wouldn't even need a shuttle or other spacecraft -- he could lift himself off. We suspect that's how excited PAUL DRECK is this moment. He must be the giddiest man in America; his ear will ache for weeks for all the quotes he'll give. Now if only he'd yack so hard he'd get chronic laryngitis.

We fear this will be a good year for THE CONSPIRACY. Good news for BIGMEDIA is bad news for the rest of us.

Posted 12:10 PM by Gene

The despicable Ford Foundation, which largely financed that 9/11 celebration-in-advance called the Durban Conference, gave "less than $2 million" to Detroit over five years, while giving New York $684 million.

Any non-profit with the word "foundation" in its name is de facto unaccountable.

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

The Tigers shot 30% in the first half in falling behind 39-24. The Bruins began the second half by making just six of 22 shots — and increased the lead to 21 points.

Actually, UCLA (32-6) was never threatened in the second half, despite shooting 25.9%.

It must have been an exzzzzzzzzzzzzzciting game.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

A eulogy to JERNALISM from Jonathan Yardley, about the forgotten exciting editor and Norm Mailer pal Willie Morris:

He was a prime mover in the "new" journalism, which insisted that the journalist was as interesting as the story (if not more so) and which has had almost entirely deleterious effects that can be felt, or read, to this day. Not merely is the chief assumption behind the "new" journalism wholly untenable -- the journalist who is as interesting as the story has yet to be born -- but so too is the assumption that journalism is synonymous with literature. Though some of Morris's own writing came close to that exalted territory, almost everything Harper's published during his reign was as evanescent as the words you are reading now.

What is blogging but the NEW New Jernalism?

Posted 9:16 AM by Gene

We hate when the NEWSRAGS put NEWS on their covers, because often they're merely responding to events and they're hard to track down. MR. MARK favors amnesty and all that jazz -- well, he IS liberal -- and then his Web site runs that blunderbuss of a crusading toady LOU DOBBS, which makes us suspect that, like many news hacks, these folks don't have a clue on the topic.

Meantime the TWXSTERS say "the system is broke." Astounding insight!

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

Meantime THE PAPER OF RE-CORD runs its own high-tone PRESS RELEASE -- and gets better results:

You know, I think you can have the beginnings of mental illness, but if your life is going well, that can get pushed aside. But not if you're cast adrift: in middle age, Bettie had no anchors and she was losing her looks, which had been her identity. So religion became her identity. We tried to write a script that flashes forward to include some of this. But inevitably it becomes a very punitive story: sexual abuse plus bondage equals madness. And that's not the truth of her life, not even now.

No, we TWXSTERS must never be punitive -- except to the public, and our shareholders.

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

Once fans completed the challenging "Grade 1" test, they were issued a 21-character "student ID code" and a written message from Rowling saying "call my desk in the near future to view your test results."

From there, frustrated fans hit a dead end.

We're frustrated too, RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- every time you run a DEAD END of a PRESS RELEASE that WASTES OUR TIME.