Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Video: Rev. Al Shaprton says 'dream has not been achieved' (Top "news" hed on Yahoo!'s excruciatingly CW home page -- linking to an ASSPRESS video)

TRANSLATION: We're not reporting on that NAZI even if we go BANKRUPT!!!!!

(In fairness the NAZI shows up at the top of the news heds if you go to Yahoo! Mail -- but we think we know what runs the "news" biz well enough)

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

The overexposure of this story in NOO YAWK's tabloids is the moral equivalent of putting a mass gunman's mug on the front page. Surely there are people far more worthy of the space. Just because MORT ZUCKS and SLIMES think such stories sell doesn't mean the readers like being SOLD TO.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

Yesterday the political fad of the moment was His Omnipotence. Today it's a screaming maniac. We've gone back and forth between manias so rapidly the only plausible outcome is to make people hate politics altogether. When BANEHEAD fails he'll be replaced with a NEW NANCY, and when the NEW NANCY fails she'll replaced by another BANEHEAD, and on and on the cycle will go until it so foments anger the only recourse is revolution -- and by that time the people will be too pooped to rebel, and too wise to the outcome.

Posted 4:48 PM by Gene

As my new homemade computer takes over more money -- I'm waiting for Intel to cut the price on the 950, and in the meantime I'm buying an unneeded hard drive -- I think to myself, why can't computers be small and fast? They can be small and slow, or fast and expensive, but not small and fast. That could be behind the Church of Cupertino's growth: Its Indulgences do most of want people want computers to do in a convenient package. Notebooks outsell desktops for largely the same reason. But too much computing involves trade-offs. Why thirty years after the first PC, and thirty-five years after the Virgin Birth, are we still talking trade-offs with computers?

Posted 4:41 PM by Gene

On South Street today there was the usual recent grating presence: a young teenage boy playing the violin on the street. Lately I've seen a number of teenage boys playing violins on the street. I'd like to know where the money goes. I wonder if the authorities would too.

The one person who's been following me may recall the late vaguely lamented Tower Records chain. It had a store on South Street. Walgreen's took it over, a square peg taking over a round hole. A year ago its pharmacy closed. On Tuesday it closes. It's a long skinny sterile uninviting store with few customers, and two-thirds of the building's space is off limits. Who would occupy it? Pearl Art's forlorn space still needs a tenant. There's nothing on the street but knockoff clothing and shoe stores and steak shops. And the annoying Alan Sues Memorial Flotilla hasn't returned yet.

Posted 4:36 PM by Gene

HALLELUJAH! After years of holy supplications our local faithful finally got their own Church on Walnut Street. All Its services have police guard. I think I know who's paying for it. PRAISE THE LORD, EDDIE!

Which brings up a question: given Its religious nature could God turn His Creation into a NON-PROFIT? Then He wouldn't have to PAY ANY TAXES!

Posted 6:30 PM by Gene

New list stirs debate on greatest Beatle [Top-of-home-page link]

As he tears whatever is left of his hair out the helpless Web surfer may ask himself why he wastes his time.

Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

We wonder how people invent words like "phenom". Once you subject people to such words you risk bequeathing the curse of the child prodigy. The news that Stephen Strasburg won't play baseball again until 2012 does not surprise us as anyone who's called a "phenom" and who throws constant heat must inevitably abuse his body in the name of potential. Whatever his salary speaking of "sensation" and "phenom" does not seem to have done this pitcher that much good.

P. S. These zillionaire sports hacks think they justify their unjustifiable salaries writing dirges. Yes Jayson, it's sad. No Jayson, the world won't come to an end. As for SELIGISM, I'd say ANOTHER PHENOM and HIS FRIENDS ended it for some of us long ago.

Posted 1:31 PM by Gene

When he says:

You just have to like the Constitution. I love it.

What he really means is:

WHY DID THE FOUNDERS EVER WRITE THE FIRST AMENDMENT? NO CONSERVATIVE OR CHRISTIAN OR OTHER NAZI SHOULD HAVE RIGHTS!! THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH, AND NO PERSON WHO HOLDS THE EVIL NOTIONS OF CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN NAZIS SHOULD EVER BE GRANTED ONE IOTA OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!

THANK GOD FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT -- AND THANK GOD FOR JEFF BEWKES FOR GIVING ME MY RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!

We will only say further that the TWXSTERS' newsrag is no longer PEOPLE INC.'s flagship, and judging from what we saw of it today at Barnes & Noble most weeks it must come perilously close to running NO ADS.

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

I wonder: Would it hurt the economy to put a permanent gag order on the Fed chairman -- any Fed chairman?

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

The latest gag from Branson East: "experimental geriatric theater"!

"I worked on it for a couple of weeks and, frankly, I have no idea what we were doing."

Isn't that how smash Branson East hits like MAMMA MIA! are born?

Where would we be without Mike?

Posted 9:54 AM by Gene

Beck supporters head for D.C. rally

We don't know which is worse: His supporters screaming or His opponents screaming. We'd say both have highly advanced neuroses.

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

Also from I Want Media: LARRY KING!!!!! doesn't want to retire. Why doesn't he find a friend -- say, MOUTH OF THE SOUTH -- and start a NEW CABLE-TV NETWORK?

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

USA Today shaking up staff in 'radical' overhaul

We can guess what this means: fire people who know what they're doing -- and eventually hire more nincompoops like EDNA to boost its show-biz advertising. Doesn't that go well with wireless?

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

God knows there's bloat in our military's budget, but when will His Omnipotence finally do what we suspect He wants to do -- cut the budget because He doesn't like the military?

Posted 12:22 PM by Gene

Facebook $33.7B Valuation Bests eBay, Yahoo [I Want Media link]

...based on secondary market transactions....

This is asinine. Less than a month ago Bloomy's Fairy Tales posited the great invention was worth $25 billion. We might remind ourselves that eBay and Yahoo! once had FAR GREATER MARKET CAPS -- how about $200 BILLION COMBINED? (our best guess) -- so comparing it to other strokes of Internet business genius says nothing. And THEY weren't worth that much even at the height of the dotcom craze.

And the WIZARDOM OF MOUNTAIN VIEW hasn't done THAT great lately either.

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

"I want to go to the sea," she said, with tears in her eyes. "I want to play in the water."

This line touched me because we all have yearnings, and though mercifully few of us weigh 603 pounds or have been confined to our homes for three years we all have our own extraordinary burdens, and we must always believe we can work them off, or else we give up the desire to live. We well understand this simple yearning.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Evan Smith of Texas Tribune: 'Journalists Deserve a Living Wage'

Despite the talk here of "membership, major donors, foundations, corporate sponsorship, and earned income through events and premium products like newsletters", the hacks have not given up the notion of living off the government dole. Moreover too many JERNALISTS' idea of a living wage is MB2'S or CHICKEN ZAKARIA's. These clowns still do not know they've been put in their place.

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

Elin said the breakup "has been hard" on her two kids.

"There was one time when I was sitting at a table in the rented house we had just moved into. We had all our things in boxes on the floor, but somehow managed to put a Christmas tree up, to feel somewhat at home," Elin said.

"I wasn't crying, but I was thinking and was sad. Sam came up to me, put her hand on my cheek and said in Swedish, 'Mommy, where is your boo-boo?'"

The next time we speak of TGSM and any "comeback" we might want to think of his kids.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

GREAT: Just what we need -- THE RETURN OF MICKEYMOUSE NIXON.

And look out for His "friends" John Angelo and Michael Gordon. They may out GanNETt GanNETt. Just what we need -- ANOTHER SOB NEUHARTH AND WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 7:02 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



See, now we're about to utter another kind word for starchitecture. This is far preferable to what might have been, given this is a water tower; and while the color scheme might not be to our taste at least the design shows some imagination.



On the other hand there has been a big self-serving debate among writers of Cute Little Pink Papers about this new depilatory device going up near the Empire State Building. We cannot entirely exonerate King Kong's favorite platform as it was built on government demand (like the WTC) and because for years it was called the Empty State Building, and its numerous owners are testimony to its commercial dubiousness. But it does have the flair of its era and the symmetry of a day when architects still thought it important. This huge starchitect's fee should be despised not because it's blocking someone's view but because it was made by Panasonic, and with luck the owners will have themselves a white elephant every bit as empty as was the Empire State. Given this non-recession we're heading back into I wouldn't bet otherwise.

P. S. The building, which His Excellency's City Council approved today, is still in the "planning phase". TRANSLATION: This WILL be built with GUVMENT FUNDS.

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

It's starting to feel like another recession.

Another?

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

We are hardly distraught at the prospect of fewer lawyers, but then His Omnipotence will bloviate that more people need kolledge degrees. Would we be in such a fix if the BELTWAY weren't so educentric and didn't obsess over its CVs the way England fixates on its royal bloodlines?

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

The Securities and Exchange Commission on Wednesday narrowly approved controversial regulations giving institutional investors significantly more power in corporate director elections and behind-the-scene negotiations with top executives starting in 2011.

All right, GEKKO KUDLOWS, repeat after me: COMMUNISTS!

Posted 12:13 PM by Gene

The CRAINIACS offer another brilliant idea:

Why Movie Studios Should Check out Check-in Networks

Hollywood Could Start Rewarding Consumers for Their Movie Watching

OR:

[W]ith entertainment-based check-ins, whole new strategies are possible to take advantage of people's enthusiasm to show off what they're doing to their social-network connections. Miso and other networks already hand out their own badges. People can earn "TV Fan" badges and other such honors, mostly based around genres.

Imagine, though, if someone could earn a "Paramount Ambassador" badge after checking in to 20 movies from that studio. And imagine if the studio then had a program in place to reward that person with some sort of prize pack or other freebies.

Some people must keep their jokes to themselves.

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

Look, we all can agree: HONORARY MAYOR MIKE may be "eloquent" -- but so was John C. Calhoun defending slavery. And both these big men surely had their hates; for Calhoun, blacks; for HONORARY, pregnant women. Being eloquent does not mean being right.

P. S. at 6:58 p. m. Here's a question I'd like to ask of His Lordship: While You were preparing for Indispensable Greatness at Your LLP how many times did You use Christ's name in vain?

Quite a few, I suspect. It would behoove You to realize we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God -- and I'm afraid that includes You too.

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

Here's a potential Profile in Courage for "elected" Congressional Democrats in the lame-duck session: amnesty for illegals!

Oh wait, His Omnipotence already thought of it.

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

Speaking of SUMNER, we see He has avoided a sexual-harassment suit, and it only cost His shareholders $1 million.

Come on, SUMMER, You can do better!

(Via the well-read THR -- which may not deserve to be)

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

And here's one more class of people who deserve angry mobs: the sports greedmeisters who shake down taxpayers -- and the "elected" officials who merrily allow them to get their way.

Not to mention, one more time, the "elected" officials of Bell, California.

Posted 9:14 AM by Gene

Many opponents of the mosque, particularly those who wish to remain in the mainstream of society....

Does that mean they're all in danger of becoming raging loons?

Also from ADAM!!!!!:

Tests on the saliva of dozens of European and American relatives of Adolf Hitler confirm that the Nazi leader had the chromosome Haplogroup E1b1b1, which is "rare in Western Europe and is most commonly found in the Berbers of Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia, as well as among Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews." It has long been believed that Hitler had a Jewish grandfather, and these findings seem to corroborate such suspicions. "The affair is fascinating if one compares it with the conception of the world of the Nazis, in which race and blood was central," says genetic specialist Ronny Decorte. “Hitler's concern over his descent was not unjustified. He was apparently not 'pure' or ‘Aryan.’” Kind of a hypocrite, that Hitler.

You mean he was almost as bad as SLIME?!?!?

I think we're all overdue for someone to propose a National Internet-Free Day. At the very least we could have a National NYMAG.COM-FREE MONTH.

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Meantime ED MURROW has issued a Harvest of Shame investigative report accusing SLIME of HYPOCRISY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRANSLATION: There are a lot of stinky things SLIME does that SUMNER does that would be okay with SUMNER -- like commissioning OJ to write a "MEMOIR".

And SLIME and SUMNER are ALSO very good justifications for angry mobs -- regardless of who owns Them.

(Via I Want Media)

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

A former non-partisan head of the White House Correspondents' Day Care Center tells a former non-partisan reporter of E&P employed by the non-partisan DAVID BROCK!!!!! that FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News should be denied its new crib in the Center because it's con-ser...NOT NON-PARTISAN!!!!!!!!!!

If ever there was an excuse for an angry mob it's deaf hyperpartisans like LIAR-LIAR BROCK.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

"VIPs" had a friend in The Jack Valenti of Mortgages!

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

We really hate wasting our time on trivia like this, but the combination of closed-circuit cameras and the Web is making our society a little like 1984, where every indefensible action is eligible for the death penalty. But who would have known that the modern security state would be run not from the top down by Goldsteins, but from the bottom up by angry mobs? One wonders if it's at the root of people throwing out any old candidates for public office for no known reason. Whatever the source of indignation CCTV and The Web have made the world an angrier place, and probably not a safer one.

Posted 2:34 PM by Gene

DOTTY SID! HERE's your new editor: David A. Graham. He's tied together the right and flat-earthers and all kinds of ignoramuses -- and he wasn't especially suave in doing it. Bonus point: He's already popular with mediagenic con-SER-va-tives. GO FOR IT DOTTY!! DAVE AS EDITOR!

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Still, the reports left out crucial facts. A KCNA dispatch said little about the flooding across the Yalu River in the Chinese city of Dandong, bound to Sinuiju by a long steel road and rail bridge that survived numerous US bombing runs in the Korean War. A bustling commercial center, Dandong is several times larger than Sinuiju, whose 400,000 people are said to live in run-down apartment blocks and small shacks.

There was no mention in North Korean reports of the evacuation of 250,000 people from Dandong, where North Korean traders go on buying and selling expeditions, before raging currents began to subside. At least four people were reported killed.

Nor did KCNA give the really bad news. That was up to Daily NK, a monitoring group in Seoul with contacts in the North. While helicopters were picking up trapped people, said Daily NK’s source, one helicopter “crashed into a rice paddy” on a mission “to rescue isolated residents” with the loss of its two-man crew.

North Korean central TV reported only “that helicopters had been sent to the rescue project on the orders of Kim Jong-il,” said Daily NK, but “there was no word of the crash.”

And there was no word either about rail service, though trains were assumed to have halted. Stopping in Dandong and then Sinuiju on the way to Pyongyang, freight trains from China carry most of the goods, including food and fertilizer, that North Korea needs to survive.

"Candor"!

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

OooooOOOOOoooooh, Speaker BANEHEAD says Timmy and Larry MUST GO!

Courage!

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

Fewer poli-sci profs! Fewer self-appointed experts! Fewer potential pundits! Less PC!

Why is this bad news?

Posted 7:15 PM by Gene

No Tweeting From North Korea

Kym McNicholas

As great as it sounds, Forbes learns that the communist country hasn't embraced social media.

You DID it, LITTLE MALCOLM AND BONO! You turned FORBESLISTBLOG into TOTAL SELF-PARODY!

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

SHOREBANK WAS A COMMIE PLOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which reminds us how at least a few con-SER-va-tives kept deathly silent as ENRONs happened, or spent more time blasting Bernie Madoff's PARTY AFFILIATION than his crimes.

Shut up, Paul. You're just another partisan hack.

(Via an ad through EM, who no doubt smirked over Bernie's DEMOCRAT PARTY giving for weeks)

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

You'd think Trader Joe's would be eager to trumpet its success, but management is obsessively secretive. There are no signs with the company's name or logo at headquarters in Monrovia, about 25 miles east of downtown Los Angeles. Few customers realize the chain is owned by Germany's ultra-private Albrecht family, the people behind the Aldi Nord supermarket empire. (A different branch of the family controls Aldi Süd, parent of the U.S. Aldi grocery chain.) Famous in Germany for not talking to the press, the Albrechts have passed their tightlipped ways on to their U.S. business: Trader Joe's and its CEO, Dan Bane, declined repeated requests to speak to Fortune, and the company has never participated in a major story about its business operations.

Some of that may be because Trader Joe's business tactics are often very much at odds with its image as the funky shop around the corner that sources its wares from local farms and food artisans. Sometimes it does, but big, well-known companies also make many of Trader Joe's products. Those Trader Joe's pita chips? Made by Stacy's, a division of PepsiCo's Frito-Lay. On the East Coast much of its yogurt is supplied by Danone's Stonyfield Farm. And finicky foodies probably don't like to think about how Trader Joe's scale enables the chain to sell a pound of organic lemons for $2.

Isn't one phony-baloney upscale-snobby grocery chain enough?

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

BLOOMBERG-HAGEL!!!!!

Remember?

Posted 3:39 PM by Gene

Now TGSM can have as many..."girlfriends" as he likes!

Posted 3:05 PM by Gene

"FRIENDLY" FIRE: The other day in a RONG AID GEN. McDONALD of the MOON 'N' STARS CORPS strafed us with "INCREASE THE COST TWENTY PERCENT BY REDUCING THE SIZE" FIRE with Pringle's. Needless to say we are permanently avoiding THAT target practice on the public.

Posted 2:51 PM by Gene

We have enormous respect for Harold Prince but he's making an excuse. If there's so much music-writing talent out there why isn't it headed to Branson East? Because the talent isn't heading to the pop...SOUND arena, craven GanNETtoids notwithstanding. The talent is NOT THERE, and no encouragement or moolah will bring it out where it doesn't exist.

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

WSJ: How did you initially become interested? Who reached out to whom?

Mr. Harman: I've known [Washington Post Co. Chairman] Don Graham for many years. A little more than once a year, he buzzes me to say, "How about breakfast?"

Totally coincidentally, Howard Fineman, a longtime writer for Newsweek, had said to me, "Are you aware that they're going to sell Newsweek?" And, "Hell, you ought to be interested."

I'd pretty much forgotten it. Don came over to the house for breakfast. We had a pleasant 90 minutes. I walked him to the car, he's getting into the car, and I said, "Son of a b----, [SIC! from SLIME'S FX-'N'-FAMILYGUYLAND!!!!!] aren't you going to ask me about Newsweek?" He stepped out of the car. "Are you interested?"

DOTTY SID'S HEIRS CAN SUE HOWARD FINEMAN!

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

My good friend David Limbaugh’s new book, Crimes Against Liberty: An Indictment against President Barack Obama, is out today, from Regnery. It is the story of the last 20 months through the eyes of a great lawyer who writes with clarity, a real feel for the country, a sense of our history, and a devotion to the Constitution. Get it and read it — you’ll be glad you did.

Does PILLHEAD need the money?

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

Whereas before a busty model was looked down on by the androgynous, women-must-look-like-young-boys world of high fashion (I once heard a male New York designer reject a really lovely young woman for his show with the dismissive: 'You're too Victoria's Secret'), designers are now looking for girls with breasts for the autumn shows that lurk around the corner.

The problem is, they still want tiny bodies; my moles tell me the number of teenagers, eager to hit the big time, who have been having enhancements over the summer has shot up.

one [SIC] model told me last season that a casting agent had told her that 'my two fried eggs might be "over" come the autumn. There's no point telling me to wear a padded bra and use gel sacs; designers never want us to wear underwear. It spoils the line, is not sexy! They always want nipples!

After reading this grotesquery I think maybe it's just as well I don't have a woman friend.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

It's official -- Tony Hayward Bewkes does believe in SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

COURAGE:

Former House Majority Leader Dick Armey (R-Texas), now the chairman of Freedomworks, a major backer of the Tea Party movement, said on NBC's "Meet the Press" that the modern Republican Party's lack of courage is a "big reason" for widespread frustration with both Democrats and Republicans.

And then, as if to prove it:

Minutes before Armey's remarks, "Meet the Press" host David Gregory pressed Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) on why Ryan's "Roadmap for America's Future" had such scant support among Republicans, and no support among Republican leaders. McConnell repeatedly dodged the question.

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Jeez Mark, I didn't know you could use the TWXSTERS as your job-search firm!