Posted 2:45 PM by Gene

Shelley Winters, who invented the world "zaftig," has died. RIP.

Posted 2:43 PM by Gene

J & J's stuck with the Stent Co. Good luck!

Posted 2:34 PM by Gene

You should have quit while you were ahead:

The National Review's "The Corner" blog is the blogosphere's hyperactive little brother...the kid that just wouldn't shut up and who had not only a bad case of A.D.D. but also a tendency to spout off about anything and everything that happens to come to his head at any given moment (kind of like Larry King's USA Today columns).

And he likes it anyway -- even WITH Kathryn and The Duhhhhhhhhb -- and JONAH.

Larry King indeed.

Posted 12:11 PM by Gene

Seems the U.K. has a lobbyist problem too.

Where there's money, there are crooks.

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

Danny Ellsberg, still the press's hero after more than three decades, decides what America needs is more leaks.

Fine -- but amazing how the dike repairs itself when Democrats assume power. And of course leaks merely apply to guvment, not too other things we report on that have more influence, like show-biz. And leaks further apply only to conservatives, not to liberals, who are beyond malfeasance.

The nice thing about more leaks is that enough of them can flood out the press's basement and zap its electricity.

Posted 11:43 AM by Gene

Misery loves company, and the third-rate nations of the Spanish diaspora definitely need love -- and power.

Any nation whose foreign polcy is go-home-gringo is defiantly third-rate.

Posted 11:20 PM by Gene

Spot the lack of bias in this hed:

Key Senator Calls Outsourcing Fact of Life

The key senator is Max Baucus. Were Max a Republican this would have read, "LEADING REPUBLICAN (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) Calls Outsourcing a Fact of Life." This magic act with English is every bit as bad as code words like "GRIM." When will these jerks realize their littlest behaviors often open up the biggest suspicions?

Posted 11:03 PM by Gene

Speaking of music and movies, we can't get the opening track of George and Ira Gershwin in Hollywood out of our head. It's the immortal Warner Bros. Orchestra playing an unedited overture to the bio Rhapsody in Blue. Can anyone doubt this orchestra rivaled some of the world's great symphonies? We suspect it was full of European refugees, members of musical elites themselves, who became the elite of Hollywood and made what long haul may be the best thing about movies (and when it's used ham-handedly, the worst, but we don't see that.) This band could play sweet (the ineffable "Somebody Loves Me") and hot ("Fascinating Rhythm"), and always at the highest level. How could it not playing for Bette Davis and Daffy Duck? Those who do the movies-are-better-than-ever act must first defend their minimal tastes in music.

Posted 10:57 PM by Gene

So that's why we have a movie about Johnny Cash -- because he was a LOONY LEFTIST.

And the answer to that, of course, is the far superior Merle Haggard, who hugged Nixon. We expect tonedeafness from show-biz, but we also expect it from the exponentially increasing flock of Kathryns who'll write the first thing that comes into their empty heads to agitate the hardcore. I'll confess I don't know much about Haggard, but I do know Johnny was, imperfectly, born-again, a flock that hardly includes many loony leftists, and if Johnny was political (we've heard enough of his music to measure the guy), it was in the naive manner of The Folk Song Army, and we've a hunch he was better than that. Johnny Cash was a great country singer; pundits are tuneless.

(Via the inevitable Freep, where they're showing this clown up by complaining Merle's a lefty)

Posted 10:30 PM by Gene

Really, there are times her bosses should not leave Kathryn unattended, but she does makes us remember that, at its height, the Corner can be VERY stupid.

And it goes without saying her new favorite con-SER-va-tive picture is a B. O. BOMB. Is she looking for a job with RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Posted 9:44 PM by Gene

Bad movies deserve a bad audience. It was one thing when the biz had a minimal respect for its patrons' intelligence, but now it can insult it in numberless ways in one picture. Indeed the oafs are merely doing what movie execs would do if they were the audience. People know movies are bad, and like the execs they don't care, thus giving them carte blanche to talk, and laugh, and sing at the screen, and cellphone to their withered hearts' content.

Posted 9:42 PM by Gene

A pre-dawn airstrike killed at least 17 people in a remote Pakistani tribal area Friday....

Meaning we shall hear of civilian casualties for days when not brooding how these Asian hillbillies have smuggled evil men from one village to another. Sorry, they kaboom innocents, we kaboom them.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

The hacks have picked up on that horrible story out of Florida, presumably for its PC elements.

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

We are so impressed with the noble eloquence, the undying truth, the pregnant COURAGE of this statement.

You folks ought to be senators.

(Via the usual SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER)

P. S. We are doubly impressed.

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

Firm truth -- from an odd source, given his past ironic columns:

In all the debates over whether memoirs should be held to the same standards as historical books, we shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that books, ultimately, are consumer products, like laundry detergent or cereal or cars. Frey wrote the book as much to make money from it as to inspire others. Doubleday published it to make money. Oprah’s empire exists to make money.

They’re all brands, and a brand is a promise to the consumer. This consumer feels that promise was betrayed -- and worse, that when the betrayal was revealed no one held themselves responsible or offered so much as an apology.

These brands are tarnished, Oprah’s included, and they don’t deserve any more of my time or money.

When will someone in the public prints get knock-down mad about this the way some Amazon.com customers have?

Posted 4:55 PM by Gene

People may chuckle knowingly of the senators' gaseousness during the Scalito hearings, but we don't: they show a culture with senile dementia, and its leaders in the advanced stages. There is no shame in asking tough questions of a judge whose politics you disagree with, and there is no shame in lauding a judge because you agree with him; but senators are so obesely contented they cannot see the anorexia in their brains. Carrying sloganeering and ad hominem attcks and club-footed flattery to their limits, they pontificated so broadly and irrelevantly as to confirm their own uselessness, even while complaining in the typical third-person manner of the unfairness of their predicament. Had we an imagination we could have pictured them in the bitter end of the Roman Empire, with spinachy garlands and gold-cloth togas and armies of concubines and slaves, but for their intellectual raiment beneath the late Robert Hall. We are not served by a one-party state, but we can scarcely be served any worse by a two-party state of shakedown artists and demagoguing ignoramuses.

Posted 4:53 PM by Gene

Ooooh, the audiophiles of news, the baseball purists of news, the obsessive-compulsives of news, are MAD because a Web site is using ad-logo wallpaper behind news stories!

News hacks have compromised themselves in thousands of ways. What's one more?

Posted 3:10 PM by Gene

"I'M JUST EXTREMELY PRO-BIOTECH!!!!!!!!!!"

AND EXTREMELY PRO-MONSANTO!!!!!!!!!!

We're very disappointed in you, Michael. We thought your iconoclasm was based on principle. Well, we guess it was.

(Via the inevitable huffing-and-puffing ROMY)

Posted 1:58 PM by Gene

FLASH!

Specter says will vote for Alito to high court

We had our doubts, Sen. O'Specter.

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE, why are you depriving me of HIIIIIIIIIIITS?

Posted 11:34 AM by Gene

And so the race for SNIDELY'S POST will boil down to who has the least disqualifications.

Posted 11:25 AM by Gene

The Old Folks' Home comes to Branson East:

Dick Van Dyke to Join Chita Rivera: The Dancer’s Life Jan. 24-26

I like nostalgia too but doesn't this carry it a little too far?

Posted 9:33 AM by Gene

Okay, we can say move along, nothing to see here about that "free-spirited, independent, all-American" jerk who admitted to skiing drunk, and then we can say move along, nothing to see here about this clown who still insists he wrote a mem-oir, but any nation that can tolerate these little lies, these little displays of attitude, can tolerate youths beating homeless people with baseball bats, or "parents" beating their children to death. Once you make the little excuse commonplace the big excuse becomes that much easier.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

"This was fate destined by God," al-Turki said. "Some of the pilgrims were undisciplined and hasty to finish the ritual as soon as possible."

You'll forgive us but 345 dead sounds like a heck of a lot of tempting of fate. But any people who smiled on 9/11 clearly feel life is disposable.

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

So Dave Marash has a price. So what? Scratch a news hack and his money fetish itches.

(Via, alas, The Corner)

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

Sen. Edward M. Kennedy belongs to a social club for Harvard students and alumni that was evicted from campus nearly 20 years ago after refusing to allow female members.

With the caveat that this is the Washington Times, it's precisely this sort of malfeasance that explains why liberalism is a spent force, and its believers must fall back on slogans, or invective, or personal attacks.

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

Sen. Hillary Clinton narrowly avoided political disaster yesterday by staying at least 15 feet away from Harry Belafonte at all times during the Children's Defense Fund lunch in the Rainbow Room.

That, presumably, was a safe distance.

We must presume that's at least the space between Sen. Rodham and her significant other in their conjugal relations.

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

We would go HA HA HA, but we know ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, and who's to say this isn't another stunt to goose a moribund property -- like his STOCK PURCHASE?

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

Meantime another waste of bandwidth, Jonny Hairshirt, fortifies his CW bona fides in prep for the move to a column at the PAPER OF RE-CORD, or something.

When news hacks spend half the time confirming their own CW it means THEY'RE NOT DOING THEIR JOB.

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

God knows what problems and evils lurk in the world that could stand the disinfectant of reporting, but this blithering idiot had the temerity to stink out the joint with this publicity stunt for the EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY'S SIDEKICK.

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO THE FLAKE JAKE!

Posted 9:48 PM by Gene

The "thumb-suck fest" over Oprah's boy-toy creative writer is "a weird insidious marriage of deconstructionism and marketplace value."

It figures. Looney leftists have their PC literary nostrum, knee-jerk rightists have their capitalism. Sieg heil with both hands!

Posted 9:42 PM by Gene

Carson Palmer's knee injury was "devastating and potentially career-ending," involving numerous ligament tears, a shredded ligament, damaged cartilage and a dislocated kneecap, his surgeon said Thursday.

Who seemed very -- sanguine:

"...I feel very comfortable with Carson as an athlete and the heart that he's got. In the end, that's the bottom line. I can see the look in his eye already. He's ready to get going."

Sounds like he shouldn't be playing but the doctors will let him play anyway.

And if he shreds his knee again -- whose fault is that?

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

Well, it's official -- G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE'S BLOG SEARCH ISN'T WORKING. I only get most of my hits from it. This happens so many time I'm convinced it's on purpose, as with most of the Godforsaken CIA of MOUNTAIN VIEW. Why can't my blog work right all the time? Why must it be some of the time?

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

Another reason why many stories that elicit tons of interest are generally worth ignoring:

Starbucks 'bomb' found to be harmless
Preliminary tests apparently find no explosive material

This, the burning-mouse mania -- hacks pay too much attention to such nonsense, one reason Osama came on them without warning.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: PEOPLE WARNER and its TWENTIETH-RATE NEWS NETWORK endorse identity jernalism and the bias attendant thereto.

(Via -- who else? Romy)

Posted 5:49 PM by Gene

Something like this should elicit our unmitigated outrage, but it won't because such unmitigated outrages happen every day, and because the homeless have been politicized beyond redemption.

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

Hed of the Week:

Schoolgirls protest New Orleans' proneness

NO COMMENT.

(Via the dysfunctional WIRED NEWS)

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Meantime the lobbying goes on hot and heavy at The Corner, where the other Mr. K Street claims 90 votes.

May the best lobbyist's friend win!

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

If elected I promise -- a new spouse for every Congressperson!

Won't work, Roy.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

Someone named Brown comes up with five GREAT ideas to "improve" the unimprovable Oscars® -- and while all five are grand (like telling the EDWARD R. MURROW of COMEDY to shut up -- good night and good luck!), we like his fifth the best:

(5) A bit of tinkering needs to be done with select categories.

I agree. Let's start with BEST PICTURE. Let's nominate THESE films for the award. At least we wouldn't make fun of their GROSSES.

(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN buys a million shares of a company with over 1.3 billion outstanding. Sounds like another cheap publicity stunt from the MASTER.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

The wonk Brian, who notoriously postulated that con-SER-va-tive show-biz vulgarity was a liberating force for mankind, now postulates a la George My-Business-is-My-Business Will that liberals will negate con-SER-va-tives with CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM and its EVIL COUSIN the FAIRNESS DOCTRINE. The only good thing is that Brian probably can't make a book out of it.

Posted 1:59 PM by Gene

I GOT A VISITOR?

Well THANK YOU, G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE!

Posted 1:40 PM by Gene

We said PBS, but National Public TalkRadio is close enough.

Here's betting before his alleged year his up he'll make an ass of himself at least once.

(Via The Corner)

Posted 12:47 PM by Gene

One thing Rather was not going to discuss: the much-debated 60 Minutes piece on President Bush's National Guard service, which left a dark cloud over his departure from the anchor desk. Asked if producer Mary Mapes "took a hit" for him, he grew testy. "No, and I didn't take one for her," he said. And he made it clear that he wasn't going to talk about the story further. "I've moved forward," he said.

No you haven't, Danno. The ground merely shifted under your feet.

(From the inevitable Romy)

Posted 12:14 PM by Gene

Democrat says Alito hearings may be pointless

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what did you say?

“The system's kind of broken,” Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del., told NBC’s “Today” show.

I didn't break it!

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

As chairman, it would be up to Penske to show the world an entirely different city, a city on the rebound -- a jazzy, muscular Detroit fit to play a leadership role in the 21st Century.

Who are we kidding?

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

Good ol' Larry came through again, and we wouldn't have consented to a one-hour promo with America's most overrated cream puff if we didn't think he would.

This is what happens when news hacks speak of profit centers. The truth is merely our loss.

Now if only this had been a PEOPLE WARNER book, but not to worry; his bosses know he'll come through then as well.

Posted 6:42 PM by Gene

The folks in The Corner are in a big tiz because the Dimocrats made Mrs. Scalito cry (we will NOT link to THE SPYWARE COWBOY!!!!!!!!!! out of honor), which can only prove their utter desperation and lack of ideas. Blast the Republicans as the party of cravenness; the Dims are the party of the living dead.

Posted 3:50 PM by Gene

Something about ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN's outfit smells. I wouldn't be surprised if he's strongly suggested things; then again his late genius appears to have had a debut at least as good as Jackie Gleason in You're in the Picture. We might not suggest anyone sell who employs a regiment of flacks, many of them paid by newspaper chains; but if and when the deceased king does sell it will be for a very good reason.

Posted 1:28 PM by Gene

LeRoy's three critically acclaimed books...

...are compost.

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Gawker does Consumer Reports.

We long ago rated it NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Posted 12:35 PM by Gene

Barry Tested Positive for Cocaine Use In the Fall

Onc a druggie, always a druggie.

Posted 12:28 PM by Gene

The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers devises a new excuse to waste our zillions propping up the networks:

CBS went from fourth place to first from fourth quarter 1997 to fourth quarter 2005 -- although its adult 18-to-49 rating hasn’t budged, according the latest Magna Global primetime report.

“The fact you can have a CBS being stable basically for ten years, when ad-supported TV goes from 50 to 100 channels, that’s PRETTY IMPRESSIVE!!!!!” said Steve Sternberg, who authored the report. [Overemphasis added.]

Never mind that

CBS and ABC got where they are not by growing their audiences, but by retaining them while others have bled viewers.

ABC, for example, is challenging CBS for the lead among adults 18-to-49 with virtually the same rating, a 3.9, that was good for last place in 2001.

Definitely do not mind that -- we must SPEND SPEND SPEND, spend as much as we can on whatever we can, spend indiscriminately, spend incontinently, spend obscenely, because the TOOTH FAIRY of ADVERTISING has promised us a quarter!

Posted 12:21 PM by Gene

We know why Sen. Babs has it in for the oil companies, oh great STONE FACE OF ANNOYING TV ADS: it's the same reason they persecuted St. Richard of Nixon; it's because he went after his enemies when the DEMOCRAT PARTY broke into the Water...oh, never mind.

Posted 11:55 AM by Gene

“The high-grossing films are not all that interesting to me, I have to say,” said Marilyn Monroe, who was there to present the Best Picture award to Brokeback Mountain’s producer, James Schamus. “It’s not stuff I would want to be in. Yes, you would want the big paycheck—but that’s never really been my concern.”

Whoops! Did I commit a TYPO! That should have read "Edie Falco"!!!!!



Edie who?

Posted 11:44 AM by Gene

"It Sucks!"

Another vampire musical's about to open on Branson East!

"Everybody likes to get good notices, to hear how wonderful they are," says Gregg Maday, who is overseeing the show for Warner Brothers Theater Ventures, the producer.

"But the reality is we know there are things that need fixing, and we are in the process of making a very complicated and difficult story come to life on stage...."

Fixing? How about a transfusion?

A much more sensitive — and far more difficult subject to tackle — is John's score, which the critics called "bland" and "saccharine."

Ordering John to come up with a bunch of snappier songs is not really possible. Because of his peripatetic lifestyle and performing commitments, he can't devote that much time to rewriting his scores.

"The music he gives you at the start is pretty much the music you have to work with," says a person who's involved in other Elton John shows.

TRANSLATION: He's in love with his video wall in Vegas.

P. S. If any of the Warner brothers had been forced to invest in Broadway under the name "Warner Brothers Theater Ventures" he'd have hidden in a cave.

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

The POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gloats that PINCH has lost 20 PERCENT of His circulation in Noo Yawk proper -- and there's a reason for that:

"It must be a strategic decision," said Edward Atorino, a media analyst with Benchmark Co. in New York. "Even so, it's a surprise that they're down that much."

One media buyer said she was "surprised that the five boroughs is less than half their circulation."

While the exact reason for the decline is unclear, Atorino believes it could be attributed to an increase in the cover price of the paper as well as a deliberate decision to target upscale readers while scaling back on distribution in less affluent areas.

ELITIST!

(Via IWantMedia.com)

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

Mickey D's, having tried to model the baggy pants of [C]RAPPERS, now decides to put on a BRAND NEW STARBUCKS SUIT!

Same old same old, with spiffy threads.

Posted 11:14 AM by Gene

The two announced candidates for Snidely Whiplash's job are lobbying in The Corner, perhaps both realizing the one's a smooth K Street operator, and the other divorced his wife to marry a tobacco lobbyist.

Six of one....

Posted 11:10 AM by Gene

Speaking of lockstep, it appears the new cliche for how liberals will fight Scalito is "inconsistent."

They refuse to concede Dubya's president and will NOT choose their kind.

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

Amazing how people can get excited about racial diversity in media when they're marching in lockstep.

(Via the quickstepping Romy)

Posted 11:06 AM by Gene

So now that it's threatening a business venture Rev. Pat is saying he didn't mean what he said about God being angry.

With Rev. Pat money is first, last and everything.

Posted 6:03 PM by Gene

So other than that, how's it going?

(Via the inevitable Freep)

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

Last week, Stranger theater editor Brendan Kiley made a mistake worthy of lifelong shame, somehow confusing Neil Simon with Eugene O'Neill.

Which does not prevent this from following a subhed:

Does Brendan Kiley know Neil Simon from Eugene O'Neil? Do you?

Only ROMY would think this important enough to link to -- and he wouldn't have known.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

IS THIS GOING TO BE A PERMANENT THING WITH THE GANNETTOIDS AND THE OTHER CONFORMISTS OF THE NEWS BIZ?????

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GULF COAST, IMBECILES? WHY ARE YOU IGNORING THAT NOW?

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

I HATE when G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE plays tricks with my hits. Why all of a sudden can't I get ONE HIT? I'm convinced the CIA of MOUNTAIN VIEW screws up on the pings. There is no discerning how their system works, except they're always working on it. Why must these clowns always fiddle with my hits?

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Billionaire alumnus Boone Pickens will donate $165 million to Oklahoma State, the largest single gift given to an NCAA athletic program.

A billioanire dimwit is still a dimwit.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Oooooooooooooooooh, mommies' gonna tell because Iraq was a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad boy again!

What's the punishment?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Some grown-up intern at The Wilson Quarterly wastes 3,535 WORDS insisting TV may be worth watching. Such people rig the argument by saying it's better than movies. That's like saying someone with AIDS would be better off without it. They further convince themselves of their mental superiority by listing the same shows as 5,000 other writers -- usually anything from HBO and half of FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, to prove they're "HIP." But to paraphrase Tom Shales, "hip" (or "edgy") is merely this generation's version of "irreverent," which was a cliche even upon its first use; and the grown-up intern must concede that "of course, TV has always been mostly awful", and you don't need to be a SNOB to know that.

Why must so many rags that should know better waste their readers' time on predictable typing like this?

Posted 3:11 PM by Gene

Meanwhile, in ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, or, THE GREAT PERSECU -- CONFIRMATION, the MIGHTY K-LO CONFESSES:

I confess I did not listen to a single word of his questioning of Judge Alito this afternoon.

We suspect the judge, the senators, the staffers, the news hacks and the rest of the TV viewers haven't been listening either.

Posted 3:09 PM by Gene

Rog is upset that GE BANCORP and REALTY ENTERTAINMENT is bankrolling the freeloaders who run the Golden Globs.

If we had to ban freeloading from the entertainment biz there'd be none.

Posted 3:01 PM by Gene

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Dow 36,000's SUPERNERDS are at it again:

Politics Makes For Bad Movies; Bad Movies Make For Worse Politics

...unless the movie's right-wing -- and especially unless it's WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE!!!!!

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

ESPNCORP sees the future:

MNF REPLACEMENTS THROW ABC FOR A LOSS

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

Whoops! Even Rich has to concede:

It’s the Republicans, stupid.

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN says $600 MILLION IN ADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Citigroup analyst Eileen Furukawa also asked Mr. Karmazin about satellite radio’s competition, such as the Motorola’s iRadio (introduced at last week’s Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas), or the radio industry’s HD Consortium or WiMax in cars, which could potentially open up an unlimited supply of audio from the Internet.

“Our principle strength is that we are a content company,” he said....

Let's see how content your shareholders are.

And six cents for marketing:

Despite Mr. Karmazin’s optimism about Mr. Stern, Sirius appears to have committed a marketing blunder in their promotion of his move to Sirius, violating one of podcast marketing’s commandments: Thou shalt not post an ad thinly disguised as a video podcast on iTunes. (Thou shalt if thy name is ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!)

The free podcast, titled “Countdown to 010906,” rose to No. 4 on iTunes podcast ranking today, surely fueled by the hype around Mr. Stern’s first day at Sirius. But it was greeted with a series of pans, a rarity for podcasts in iTunes top 10. The spot may have done more harm than good, as listeners called it “just a lame advertisement” and advised others “don’t waste your bandwidth.”

Good idea.

Posted 12:15 PM by Gene

We can be sure there'll be a NEWS EMBARGO on the trial of the perseucted patriots who only slashed tires for their COUNTRY.

Posted 12:10 PM by Gene

Well look who's joined the SLEAZE PARADE! The former ATTORNEY GENERAL!

Great going, John! That's a lot of money you've pulled down for your connections! Just make sure you don't violate the law TOO brazenly. But hey, what's the LAW to a former AG?

Since the [9/11] attacks, however, the Justice Department has become a key clearinghouse for huge homeland security-related contracts. "That's big bucks," Garrett said.

And as our HERO -- er, that FRAUD the RED-STATE SCORPION said, "I'd love us to get our mitts on that moolah!"

Three clients of Ashcroft's lobbying firm want his help in selling data or software with homeland security applications, according to government filings.

A fourth, Israel Aircraft Industries International, is competing with Chicago's Boeing Co. to sell the government of South Korea a billion-dollar airborne radar system.

Israel, South Korea -- do I smell HEROISM coming on?

Posted 11:26 AM by Gene

ESPNCORP'S FOUNDER is RICHLY REWARDED:

MICHAEL D. EISNER TO HOST NEW CNBC PROGRAM ?CONVERSATIONS WITH MICHAEL EISNER?

New bi-monthly program to premiere on CNBC, the World?s Leader in Business News [all SIC!!!!!]

CONGRATULATIONS, MICKEYMOUSE! You and the World?'s Leader in Business News DESERVE each other. Maybe they can add some SOUND EFFECTS. At the least let's hope they screw up your GRAPHICS.

(via The Kid)

Posted 10:27 AM by Gene

The book biz is in one of those show-offy mine-story-style tizzes because one of Oprah's boy toys forgot to tell her he might have written his memoirs out of whole cloth.

But what people forget is Oprah's not about literature, she's about MARKETING.

More marketing next Monday!

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

Shucks, the personal lobbying firm of SNIDELY WHIPLASH and the RED-STATE SCORPION has shut down.

What SHALL the Republicans do?

Start another lobbying firm!

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

The news hacks keep telling us the NHL's HOTHOTHOT!!!!!, but in Boston at least it sounds like they've used up their propane tank. (And yes, we see the Bruins are struggling, and we still think the NHL's comeback is largely HOT!!!!! air.)

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

DEPRESSING NEWS:

The number of people who work in higher education grew by about 4.4 percent from 2003 to 2004, to a total of more than 3.3 million, according to a new report by the U.S. Department of Education’s National Center for Education Statistics.

Oowll thoz teechers teeching owl thaht ignurantz.

(Va ArtsJournal.com)

Posted 8:03 AM by Gene

Despite Advocacy, Alito Is Not on Public's Radar Screen

I guess the public isn't quite as stupid as we news hacks had hoped.

Posted 6:57 AM by Gene

AND:

Enthusiasm for Democrats is only slightly higher than for Republicans. A plurality predict both parties will be hurt equally by the inquiry into disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. And Democrats' hopes of scoring big gains have been tempered by redistricting after the 2000 Census that made many House districts less competitive.

I guess the public isn't quite as stupid as we news hacks had hoped.

Posted 6:39 AM by Gene

Duh....

Senate records show 32,890 lobbyists were registered last year, three times the number a decade earlier. Many of those are former members of Congress or their aides. Annual spending on lobbying has grown from about $800 million in 1996 to about $2.2 billion last year.

Ironically, ethics rules already are tighter than they were in decades past. Lobbyists must register and report their income and client lists. Lawmakers and their aides are prohibited from accepting meals, entertainment or other gifts worth more than $50. They are barred from lobbying their former congressional contacts for a year after leaving Capitol Hill for the lobbying world. And they must report trips taken on the tab of private interests.

And no, My Business is My Business, term limits for Congress wouldn't help because they would mean even more power for un-term-limited lobbyists, as if they don't have enough already.

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

Meanwhile, more superb news in the high-tech world:

Apple to Sell S.N.L. Skits for iPod Use

Steve must be targeting sixty-somethings.

Posted 6:31 AM by Gene

Crusty macaroni and cheese moves up to NUMBER THREE on the PAPEROFRE-CORD.com's most e-mailed, two behind "Diabetes and Its Awful Toll Quietly Emerge as a Crisis."

Is there a connection?

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

Military Sensor Hears Through Walls

So can I when my neighbors play their stereos.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Don't worry, criminals. We here in the enlightened city of San Fran, the seat of wisdom of the Pacific Coast, know how to deal with our officers. And while you're at it, why don't you invite your friends here? They're always welcome to piddle in our streets. Who knows? If you invite enough of them maybe we'll let you off the hook for murder.

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

More advertiser, er, condoned AAAAAAAAAAAATTITUUUUUUUUUUUUDE:

Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor was fined $17,000 Monday by the NFL for spitting in the face of Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back Michael Pittman.

Taylor was ejected and penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct for spitting at Pittman in the third quarter of Saturday's playoff game. The offense was considered so egregious that Pittman wasn't penalized for slapping Taylor in the helmet in retaliation....

"He said he didn't do it, so I don't think he did it," cornerback Shawn Springs said.

Taylor has been fined several times in his two-year career for a bevy of infractions, including $25,000 for skipping the league's mandatory rookie symposium. He has several in-season fines for illegal hits and uniform violations, including $5,000 for wearing striped socks that resembled a barber pole in this year's home game against Philadelphia.

He was investigated by the league last season for allegedly spitting at Cincinnati receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh, but no fine was levied because there was no video evidence.

Taylor also had a drunken driving charge last season that was later dismissed. He is scheduled to go on trial next week in Miami on a felony charge of aggravated assault stemming from a June 1 confrontation near his home, although he is expected to request a postponement because of the Redskins' playoff run.

In the words of the immortal Red Skelton, he dood it.

And yes, I can hear every last vice-president of advertising at a big consumer-products firm whispering, "Way to go, guys! This solidifies us among the 18-34s!"

P. S. And in other news of the criminal-justice system, Marcus Vick proves he is a piece of work.

Posted 3:21 PM by Gene

At the very least, to carry out Horowitz’s program would require our asking prospective faculty members (and, perhaps, students, too) to tell us their political views, which we don’t do, and which seems intrusive to me. [Pffh-hh-hh-hh-hh!] What’s more important is that Horowitz assumes that everything we teach has a political view embedded within it. Journalism is not physics, but most of what we teach does not have any obvious ideological content. There is not a liberal or conservative way to teach students how to write clearly and accurately and quickly, or how to work by high ethical standards. Almost all the craft-style teaching we do in the various journalistic media, and much of the subject-matter teaching, have no ideological dimension that I can see.

Okay Nick, so how do so many news hacks get to think like this:



KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!

(Via -- you guessed it -- ROMY)

Posted 1:46 PM by Gene

What about the new Nightline?

Don't read anything into this. I said on the occasion of my farewell party that the one gift I could give them was not to comment on how they were doing or what they were doing for several months. I know how difficult it is to do a new program and even more difficult to take an existing program and make it your own.

Tell 'em the truth, Lord Koppel: it STINKS!

Posted 1:44 PM by Gene

So much for that humanitarianism:

Pope Gunman May Be Tried for Draft-Dodging

Posted 1:19 PM by Gene

The GENIUS of SUMNER and BLOCKBUSTER:

By 2006, the company Redstone had bought in 1994 for $8.4 billion had a market value of under $700 million.

May there be much more GENIUS for the whole CONSPIRACY where that came from.

Posted 11:59 AM by Gene

Why did a Navy chaplain have to fast for eighteen days to be allowed his First Amendment right to pray according to his faith?

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

SURRENDER:

'CHICAGO SUN-TIMES' FIRST PAPER TO RUN GOOGLE'S ADS

Taaaaaaaaaaaaa-ta-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....

Posted 10:50 AM by Gene

Meet the latest children's author, Sen. Ted Kennedy, and his Portuguese Water Dog, Splash, his co-protagonist in "My Senator and Me: A Dogs-Eye View of Washington, D.C."

Somebody tell us this is a joke! No! NO!!!!!

Books are a Kennedy family tradition, from John F. Kennedy's Pulitzer Prize-winning "Profiles in Courage"....

Most likely he didn't write this one either.

P. S. As the STOOGES have again used the DRAGNET M. O. for BY-LINING, a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to TOM (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) CURLEY!

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

The Red-State Scorpion took the o out of God -- and the G and d with it.

(Via the usual FREEP, via JWR)

Posted 10:18 AM by Gene

And in other Romy news, the Red-State Scorpion got money from rag publishers! What other media are in his past?

And then there's THIS interesting tidbit:

In 2000, the association made a $25,000 contribution to a nonprofit group called Toward Tradition, an alliance of Jews and evangelical Christians, based on what Mr. Rubenstein called a directive from Preston Gates. People involved in the investigation have said that Mr. Abramoff funneled money through Toward Tradition to the wife of his associate, Tony C. Rudy, a former top aide to Representative Tom Delay, Republican of Texas.

"They had absolutely no knowledge of how that money would be used, and if it turns out that it was used for an improper purpose, the M.P.A. would be, quite frankly, outraged," Mr. Rubenstein said.

Most likely it was; isn't Toward Tradition run by Monsignor Lapin, the NUMBER-ONE FAN of WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie? Maybe it went for some rosary beads.

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

The mine story has officially entered the OH, SHUT UP phase. When news hacks are busy appointing our leaders and selling show-biz, what time do they have to be concerned with mundane topics like mine safety? This was probably the first time Howie Hairshirt has even thought about coal since high school -- and it's sure to be the last.

(Via -- who else? -- the ROM)

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

What do -- American Home Health, AmeriQuest Mortgage, Anheuser-Busch, Bayer, ESPNCORP (two divisions), BURGER KING, CareerBuilder.com, Emerald of California (it was Diamond of California last time -- have a demotion?), FEDEX, THE CLUNKER BROTHERS, Nationwide Insurance, PEOPLE WARNER (two divisions), P&G RAZOR, PEPSICO, ROOTKITCO (way to go Lord Springer!), Sprint and UNILEVER have in common?

Their CEOS will all have LUXURY SUITES at the...oh, never mind.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

LORD STRINGER SAVES THE WORLD!!!!!

P. S. The stock was about $50 in 1997 -- and over $150 during The Bubble. I think the Lord has some ways to go, BW.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Mme. Flasher claims another victim: ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION ADS on NFL GAMES!

We must get EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! to investigate. This is JIHADIST-PRUDE CENSORSHIP!

Or something.

Posted 9:05 AM by Gene

And in more lobbying -- REPORTING: On USAOKAY!!!!!'S home page:


And the story hed:

Critics give Alito 'steep hill to climb'

I know there are space considerations with the home-page hed, but again I ask: what's the difference between lobbyists and news hacks?

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

And speaking of the many Kurt Anderson clones, a statement:

SNARK DEFINED: If something is funny, edgy, topical and opinionated -- without resorting merely to being caustic or sophomoric -- it could probably be called snarky, says Jon Friedman.

On the other hand if something is caustic or sophomoric it might be called funny, edgy, topical and opinionated -- something we'd expect Jonny Hairshirts to do.

Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

What is the difference between a news hack pleading a cause and a lobbyist pleading a cause?

Now to head to ROMY.

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

Hollywood's version of the light-bulb joke:

Q. How many producers does it take to make a movie?

A. One or two to produce it and as many as you need to hog the credits.

Posted 6:58 AM by Gene

"He's a publicist, she's in publishing," Greenstein said. "What could be better?"

Running a press release on the stuff ESPNCORP NETWORK will have trouble filling Monday nights with.

Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

Rep. Tom DeLay is if nothing else a realist, and over the past week or so, he began to sense that his support inside the Republican caucus was cratering, particularly as allies of his began to be importuned by the MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM in the wake of the Jack Abramoff plea deal. [Overemphasis added.]

See? SEE? It WAS BIGMEDIA's fault he took the money!

Posted 6:31 AM by Gene

ADAM!!!!! shows he's RIGHT ON! WITH IT!! and NOW!!! by devoting 5,641 WORDS!!!!! from some paid-by-the-word writer named Jay, McLarty? McGurty? Fifty years ago he wrote this book in the second person, or something, and he hasn't written since -- to some superb band of noisemakers most of us have never heard of, and that would be the greatest thing in rag publishing since the Hitler Diaries except he keeps Effete Edelstein under wraps. What IS with you, ADAM?!?!? The world awaits your BRILLIANCE!!!!!

Posted 7:29 PM by Gene

House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., and others have questioned whether areas 3 to 5 feet below sea level should be rebuilt or returned to marshland.

"The Netherlands is 21 feet below sea level," Landrieu said.

The Netherlands does not have a hurricane season.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

A couple of extremely ambitious guys are running for majority leader; that fact alone will help clean up the House.

Pffh-hh-hh!

Posted 3:43 PM by Gene

The Sammy Glickman of professional college sport says his athletic programs' production bud -- budgets are growing too fast. So what's the answer? Digital projec -- video iPods!

How apt his hame is BRAND.

Posted 2:22 PM by Gene

Sheer IDIOCY at CES:

No applause from the overflow room just now: we've been cut off.: "Due to the proprietary nature of the content in this presentation we must tempoirarily [SIC] suspend the video and audio portion of this broadcast. Normal transmission will resume in a few moments." Perhaps someone from Google can explain in the comments how this is compliant with SEC rules governing access to publicly stated information. Do people who made it into the auditorium have to sign NDAs? Just before the break, Page mentioned Sergey Brin's dream of Google Brain, with a picture of a helmet.

We wish we'd paid more attention to this bacchanal but we figured it was a publicists' orgy whose sole purpose was to sell products that will never get off the drawing board. Next time, we WILL pay attention.

Posted 1:48 PM by Gene

The movie phreaks showed again this weekend, though the BEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOO was only up about nine percent (and it was up last year too). When we think grosses we somehow imagine huge movie houses packed to the proverbial third balcony with fans. But we must console ourselves with some elementary math. Take LUKE SPIELBERG'S PC MASTERPIECE. It did $5,000 a venue. If the movie played 15 times this weekend, that comes to $333 a screening. If the average cost of a ticket is, say $8.00 (the alleged national average last year was $6.40), that comes to about 42 tickets. Each screen in a popcorn emporium holds 200 to 300 seats. Imagine seeing a bad or overrated movie in a sparse crowd. That would be like 7,000 or 8,000 watching an NFL game. No wonder the movie experience is so uninviting.

Speaking of which, the WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION'S FREELOADERS REVIEW recently invited some of Sammy Glickman's interns to ghost a puff piece, which indicates this guy is learning as fast as the IMMORTAL JACK did how to be tone-deaf. The only solace is this hit the site as the acclaimed movie producer the RED-STATE SCORPION hit the fan. We'd like to think Sammy's slapped Red's back more than once. They're in the same business -- shafting the public.

And a belated NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to some jackassette named STEPHANIE.

Posted 1:39 PM by Gene

Another six-of-one: I've said it before, I believe the death penalty justified almost exclusively for mass murders, political assassinations and treason. Nonetheless we have two sides here of equal repulsiveness: the Freeper types doing their South Park Con-SER-va-tive vaudeville, and holier-than-thou types who are as opposed to the death penalty as they favor (or at least are indifferent to) abortions. A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES.

Posted 1:26 PM by Gene

Meanwhile, in the LOUIS B. MAYER category, David "300" Bauder (that's a joke, son) gives more needless publicity to waving preening idiots like THE NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE and HHHHWALTER CRRRRONKITE JR. For every column inch devoted to a public service like my last link we get 15 MILLION devoted to SPIN AND SELL, and telling our readers they're MORONS.

Look who's talking.

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

If news hacks spent much more time trying to help blameless people out of awful predicaments like this, instead of being KINGMAKERS and LOUIS B. MAYERS, we'd regard them a little more positively.

Posted 9:51 AM by Gene

Robert "Over the" Hilburn may be gone -- he always was going -- but his spirit lives on, as evidenced by this roll-call of GENIUS in MUSIC from ENGLAND:

So while the Kaiser Chiefs regroup, consider these tangy regional voices: the Futureheads, Field Music and Maximo Park from Tyne & Wear in the northeast; British Sea Power from Cumbria; Sons & Daughters and Arab Strap from Scotland; Arctic Monkeys and the Harrisons from Yorkshire; the Zutons, Little Barrie and the Longcut from Manchester and Liverpool in the northwest.

And: Kasabian, the Editors and the Young Knives from the Midlands; the Go! Team from Brighton on the south coast; and Bloc Party, Art Brut, the Subways, Hard-Fi and the Magic Numbers keeping London on the map — the capital's most recent champions, the Libertines, having split into the chaotic Babyshambles (Pete Doherty's lamentable drug history offering little hope for a substantial future) and the as-yet-unheard Dirty Pretty Things (the much steadier Carl Barat's new venture, which was recording in L.A. during December)....

The other current boom is in solo artists/singer-songwriters. The more established names are distinctly unhip, scoffed at by Brit critics as purveyors of "girlfriend music": Damien Rice, Dido, Katie Melua, Jem. James Blunt, the U.K.'s top-selling artist in 2005, now racing up the Billboard chart, has definitely joined that list, while craggy David Gray, much praised for his latest, "Life in Slow Motion," is a rare escapee from uncoolth [SIC]....

Debuts from romantic Richard Hawley, roughneck Malcolm Middleton, jazzy Corinne Bailey Rae and the more leathery KT Tunstall will reward repeated listenings, as will Beth Orton's as-yet-untitled comeback (out in February, produced by Sonic Youth's Jim O'Rourke in New York). Tom Vek's songs buzz with a raw garage rock energy, driven along by subtle electronic touches and a backbone of rigid, angular funk.

And maybe, after the Brit/Sri Lankan M.I.A.'s success with "Arular," it might be worth mentioning the hip-hop home team....

The Editors. Maybe they should have a gig at A CERTAIN TRIB PAPER.

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

And in the world of the CW SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS:

LOTS OF BAD PRESS FOR MICROSOFT over its shutdown of a Chinese blogger.

I think we took care of that.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

The POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is cooking with gas today! Where to start? How about the soon-to-be co-prez of the NYSE who decorates his office with PRON images? Or how about that the GE BANCORP and REALTY NETWORK has a "commanding lead" in product placements? Does LEGENDARY WELCH sneak into JEFF ZUCK's office now and then and give him a pep talk? We sure hope so if he can drive the viewers away. But then there must be two stories on EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!'s recently deceased hero, so that evens things up.

One other thing:



RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s boys gave us this picture -- and we didn't know who it was! Ah, the anonymous fame of starlets. Well, we found out, and while she may not be able to act, she may not have to.

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

The George W. Bush Memorial Medicare Prescription Drug Boondoggle and Bureaucracy Bloating Act has already run into snags, universe-sized snags, and let's guess what it'll cost to clean them up!

"[A] public health emergency....chaos..." Looks like we did OUR job, Dubya!

Speaking of lobbyists, I can hear Sleazeball Gumbo and the Gang singing in close harmony: "E'RE-WAY IN-HAY E-THAY ONEY-MAY!!!!!"

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

THE cold war and the aftermath of the miners’ strike may have dominated the headlines. But behind the scenes some Whitehall officials were more preoccupied in the mid-1980s by the safety of the Loch Ness monster.

Newly released files show that officials working under the Thatcher government feared that there would be nothing to prevent poachers and trophy hunters killing it, were Nessie to emerge from the depths.

Your legacy, Lord Thatcher, is safe.

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

Meantime a lawyer gives us a short primer on lobbying (it seems it flourished under U. S. Grant and LBJ, natch) and offers four suggestions on how the profession (whether lobbying, Congresspooping or prostitution, we're not sure) can clean itself up while cleaning up:

Enforce current House and Senate ethics rules....

Tighten up those rules....

Require lobbyists to itemize gifts and entertainment on lobbying reports....

Promote an ethical culture.

And the prince and Cinderella lived happily ever after.

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

Well, only one of the news rags took us up on our offer, and it chickened out -- it put the RED-STATE SCORPION on the cover. (Maybe they figured Snidely was TOO evil.) Mr. Mark put Ariel Sharon on, understandably enough, but it also put this caption above his photo: "Health for Life: Vitamins and Your Diet." Are you trying to tell him something after the fact, Mr. Mark? It does scratch its thick skull over JACKGATE, musing, "Can anything change the Capitol's money-hungry ways?" (The answer, needless to say, is no, unless you're a news hack, then the answer becomes no -- unless we sweep the Democrats into power.) Thankfully the House Committee on Standards of Official Conduct is on the case. "If they were going to investigate us, we were going to investigate them." Somebody should investigate they and we.