THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, October 17, 2009
In the city that has the 2016 GAMES -- and can keep them:
Drug traffickers shot down a police helicopter during a gunbattle between rival gangs Saturday, killing two officers and injuring four in a burst of violence just two weeks after the city was chosen to host the 2016 Olympic Games....
Rio police frequently use helicopters to take on gangs that dominate drug trafficking in the city's more than 1,000 slums, but were unable to say whether this was the first time one of their helicopters had been shot down by gang members.
Drug traffickers shot down a police helicopter during a gunbattle between rival gangs Saturday, killing two officers and injuring four in a burst of violence just two weeks after the city was chosen to host the 2016 Olympic Games....
Rio police frequently use helicopters to take on gangs that dominate drug trafficking in the city's more than 1,000 slums, but were unable to say whether this was the first time one of their helicopters had been shot down by gang members.
More crusading reporting from the ASSPress:
ConAgra spreads some Parkay love with iPhone app
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) -- ConAgra Foods wants to reinvent the classic advertising argument over how its Parkay margarine compares to butter with an iPhone application.
The ConAgra app uses the iPhone's voice recognition capability to trigger the distinctive "Parkaaaaay" response whenever the user says words like "butter" and "milk."
The free app recalls the classic Parkay television ads of the 1970s, '80s and '90s involving a talking tub of margarine.
A senior brand manager for Omaha-based ConAgra, Jeff Muench, says he hopes the app will help renew interest in Parkay and make people laugh.
On the Net:
ConAgra Foods Inc.: http://www.conagra.com
Parkay app: http://www.tinyurl.com/parkayapp
Imagine: Zillions in high-tech so people can recreate an annoying TV commercial -- and untold hundreds of thousands of JERNALISTS who MUST tell us about it.
ConAgra spreads some Parkay love with iPhone app
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) -- ConAgra Foods wants to reinvent the classic advertising argument over how its Parkay margarine compares to butter with an iPhone application.
The ConAgra app uses the iPhone's voice recognition capability to trigger the distinctive "Parkaaaaay" response whenever the user says words like "butter" and "milk."
The free app recalls the classic Parkay television ads of the 1970s, '80s and '90s involving a talking tub of margarine.
A senior brand manager for Omaha-based ConAgra, Jeff Muench, says he hopes the app will help renew interest in Parkay and make people laugh.
On the Net:
ConAgra Foods Inc.: http://www.conagra.com
Parkay app: http://www.tinyurl.com/parkayapp
Imagine: Zillions in high-tech so people can recreate an annoying TV commercial -- and untold hundreds of thousands of JERNALISTS who MUST tell us about it.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Today must be National Teevee Ad-Blurbists' Day. Troy, one of the long line of insufferable Grate.com revuers, manages to love a masterwork she demonstrates is not merely "smug", but whose creators by her not-so-tacet admission probably regard the enemy philistines who don't appreciate it as being beneath dirt. Critically-acclaimed shows are contemptible enough; the only thing more so are cri-TICS who want to love said shows but realize that to love them they must overrate them, for to overrate them is to love them; and in overrating them they show their contempt for the TV-excellence challenged too.
Slate, apparently read exclusively by aging yuppies who still think Doonesbury is humorous, is owned by The Washington Post, a money-hemorrhaging division of Kaplan Test Preparation.
I thought of it first!
(Via -- it figures -- somebody at NRO)
I thought of it first!
(Via -- it figures -- somebody at NRO)
Tomtastic goes COMCASTIC over CONCAST!!!!!
What's being billed as one of the biggest media deals in years could also be seen as rescue mission -- liberating NBC from the clutches of its fumbling management and from General Electric, the hardhearted defense contractor that bought the network in 1986 and has been ordering budget cuts ever since.
The company is called NBC Universal now, because it includes the Universal movie studio, and is said to be worth $35 billion, vs. the $6.5 billion or so that GE paid (for NBC alone). The potential buyer is Comcast, the largest cable company in the United States, and a firm whose principal interest is television, with no sideline ventures into toaster ovens, jet engines or nuclear power plants.
First, it was 1985 (although the deal closed the following year). Second, GE BANCORP didn't just buy NBC alone; it bought a TV manufacturer, a record company, a considerable government business, an appliance-service firm and other parts it has since spun or sold off. (See, what GE BANCORP bought USED to be called RCA, but some people forget.) Third, GE BANCORP largely got out of the hardhearted defense contracting business ages ago. Fourth, CONCAST is thinking of buying 51 percent of GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT, not the whole thing as Tom cleverly implies. Fifth, it might be worth as little as $21 billion -- but who's counting all those assets? Sixth, GE BANCORP got rid of its toaster-oven (and other small-appliance) biz to Black and Decker, also ages ago.
Six errors in two grafs. Some people should stick with praising FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!! and blasting Naz -- conservatives.
What's being billed as one of the biggest media deals in years could also be seen as rescue mission -- liberating NBC from the clutches of its fumbling management and from General Electric, the hardhearted defense contractor that bought the network in 1986 and has been ordering budget cuts ever since.
The company is called NBC Universal now, because it includes the Universal movie studio, and is said to be worth $35 billion, vs. the $6.5 billion or so that GE paid (for NBC alone). The potential buyer is Comcast, the largest cable company in the United States, and a firm whose principal interest is television, with no sideline ventures into toaster ovens, jet engines or nuclear power plants.
First, it was 1985 (although the deal closed the following year). Second, GE BANCORP didn't just buy NBC alone; it bought a TV manufacturer, a record company, a considerable government business, an appliance-service firm and other parts it has since spun or sold off. (See, what GE BANCORP bought USED to be called RCA, but some people forget.) Third, GE BANCORP largely got out of the hardhearted defense contracting business ages ago. Fourth, CONCAST is thinking of buying 51 percent of GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT, not the whole thing as Tom cleverly implies. Fifth, it might be worth as little as $21 billion -- but who's counting all those assets? Sixth, GE BANCORP got rid of its toaster-oven (and other small-appliance) biz to Black and Decker, also ages ago.
Six errors in two grafs. Some people should stick with praising FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!! and blasting Naz -- conservatives.
"Commissioning and exchanging art was at the very heart of Victoria and Albert's relationship."
It can't hurt the cause of art when one of the commissioners looks like this.
It can't hurt the cause of art when one of the commissioners looks like this.
And speaking of buffoons, it is a measure of our state media's villainy that is now possible to feel a slight bit of sympathy for PILLHEAD.
BIG caveat: FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS!!!!!
BIG caveat: FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS!!!!!
In retrospect, you could say the cable channels went wild covering the flight of an empty balloon. And technically, that is true. But cable doesn't have the ability to say, You know what, folks? We're not sure what's going on here, so we'll check it out and get back to you. I mean, there are times when you can do that.
TRANSLATION: Jeff, I intend to be your humble millionaire servant forever and ever and ever.
TRANSLATION: Jeff, I intend to be your humble millionaire servant forever and ever and ever.
Gawker's Denton: We Rip Off Magazines Quite Shamelessly
And he still can't make a profit?
(Also via MediaBistro)
And he still can't make a profit?
(Also via MediaBistro)
Ted Turner wants to run CNN again
Isn't it enough that Your legacy of tenth-rate cable news will live forever?
"If I had control of [Cartoon Network], I'd put 'Captain Planet' on at a top time period so that kids would see the environmental superhero instead of just Superman."
Ted, go back to the buffalo manure you know.
Turner also says he "buried the hatchet," as Liu put it, with News Corp. topper Rupert Murdoch about 18 months ago. He dropped him a note the other day telling him he was doing a good job with the Wall Street Journal.
"He didn't write me back. He might not have gotten the letter," he says.
Or He may have known better.
(Via MediaBistro)
Isn't it enough that Your legacy of tenth-rate cable news will live forever?
"If I had control of [Cartoon Network], I'd put 'Captain Planet' on at a top time period so that kids would see the environmental superhero instead of just Superman."
Ted, go back to the buffalo manure you know.
Turner also says he "buried the hatchet," as Liu put it, with News Corp. topper Rupert Murdoch about 18 months ago. He dropped him a note the other day telling him he was doing a good job with the Wall Street Journal.
"He didn't write me back. He might not have gotten the letter," he says.
Or He may have known better.
(Via MediaBistro)
Chrysler Said Planning to Make 100,000 Fiat 500s in Mexico, Seek Suppliers
Will people want these things? In the back of buyers' heads now lurks the notion, it's not a Chrysler, it's a Fiat. When it comes to quality that's a double-whammy.
Will people want these things? In the back of buyers' heads now lurks the notion, it's not a Chrysler, it's a Fiat. When it comes to quality that's a double-whammy.
Every now and then news hacks torment us with their heavy thinking about how they should spend more time with ordinary people. They did it recently. Two examples will show this is pure unmitigated malarkey. The first comes from Boswell -- and THE MASTER:
Mrs. Thrale then praised Garrick's talent for light gay poetry; and, as a specimen, repeated his song in Florizel and Perdita, and dwelt with peculiar pleasure on this line:
I'd smile with the simple, and feed with the poor.
JOHNSON. "Nay, my dear Lady, this will never do. Poor David! Smile with the simple; -- What folly is that? And who would feed with the poor that can help it? No, no; let me smile with the wise, and feed with the rich." I repeated this sally to Garrick, and wondered to find his sensibility as a writer not a little irritated by it.
Substitute "popular" for "wise" and you have the perfect news-hack sensibility.
The second is also fairly obvious. Think of how many hacks cover high-end sporting events in person. Think of their average salaries. The only difference is they can smile with the simple and feed with the rich, they and their subjects being rich fathomless simpletons.
Mrs. Thrale then praised Garrick's talent for light gay poetry; and, as a specimen, repeated his song in Florizel and Perdita, and dwelt with peculiar pleasure on this line:
I'd smile with the simple, and feed with the poor.
JOHNSON. "Nay, my dear Lady, this will never do. Poor David! Smile with the simple; -- What folly is that? And who would feed with the poor that can help it? No, no; let me smile with the wise, and feed with the rich." I repeated this sally to Garrick, and wondered to find his sensibility as a writer not a little irritated by it.
Substitute "popular" for "wise" and you have the perfect news-hack sensibility.
The second is also fairly obvious. Think of how many hacks cover high-end sporting events in person. Think of their average salaries. The only difference is they can smile with the simple and feed with the rich, they and their subjects being rich fathomless simpletons.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
To those RENDELLISTS who believe civic pride is sufficient to revive a city's economy: The Detroit Red Wings have won four Stanley Cups in the last twelve years.
The one consolation in our current local bout of civic pride is that a Phillies-Angels series would be a direct rebuke to BUD and SLIME, and with luck another ratings winner.
The one consolation in our current local bout of civic pride is that a Phillies-Angels series would be a direct rebuke to BUD and SLIME, and with luck another ratings winner.
We understand why a story like this briefly captured America's attention-deficit-disordered interest, but how many would say they're proud to have kept their eyes glued to the set over what emerged as nothing? How many of us rattled our nerves over yet another distant hoax? We would do well to avoid stories whose sole purpose is to hike the blood pressure, and give ANDERSONS another excuse to showily wring their hands.
This also involved reality "stars", which should have raised the smell quotient instantly.
This also involved reality "stars", which should have raised the smell quotient instantly.
Little did we know how unintentionally right we might be in suspecting the Rams story would turn into a FARCE.
And if PILLHEAD -- who undoubtedly thinks himself as great a businessman as George "Bush the Nazi" Soros does -- approved of one of his archenemies being in on the deal, that makes him even more a BLOVIATING FRAUD.
(Via -- oh well -- MS. TRAVERS)
And if PILLHEAD -- who undoubtedly thinks himself as great a businessman as George "Bush the Nazi" Soros does -- approved of one of his archenemies being in on the deal, that makes him even more a BLOVIATING FRAUD.
(Via -- oh well -- MS. TRAVERS)
We should have known better than for PILLHEAD to keep his yap shut:
“THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE NFL, IT’S NOT ABOUT THE ST. LOUIS RAMS, IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!!!!!” Limbaugh said. “THIS IS ABOUT THE ONGOING EFFORT BY THE LEFT IN THIS COUNTRY, WHEREVER YOU FIND THEM, IN THE MEDIA, THE DEMOCRAT PARTY, OR WHEREVER, TO DESTROY CONSERVATISM, TO PREVENT THE MAINSTREAMING OF ANYONE WHO IS PROMINENT AS A CONSERVATIVE!!!!!
“THEREFORE, THIS IS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND WHAT KIND OF COUNTRY WE’RE GOING TO HAVE!!!!!!!!!!” (Non-self-centered overemphasis added)
Not very satirical, PILLHEAD -- unless of course satire means self-parody.
One other thing: Just because a person doesn't use the first person like His Omnipotence doesn't mean he can't talk in the first person.
(Via CuteLittlePinkPaper.com)
“THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE NFL, IT’S NOT ABOUT THE ST. LOUIS RAMS, IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!!!!!” Limbaugh said. “THIS IS ABOUT THE ONGOING EFFORT BY THE LEFT IN THIS COUNTRY, WHEREVER YOU FIND THEM, IN THE MEDIA, THE DEMOCRAT PARTY, OR WHEREVER, TO DESTROY CONSERVATISM, TO PREVENT THE MAINSTREAMING OF ANYONE WHO IS PROMINENT AS A CONSERVATIVE!!!!!
“THEREFORE, THIS IS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND WHAT KIND OF COUNTRY WE’RE GOING TO HAVE!!!!!!!!!!” (Non-self-centered overemphasis added)
Not very satirical, PILLHEAD -- unless of course satire means self-parody.
One other thing: Just because a person doesn't use the first person like His Omnipotence doesn't mean he can't talk in the first person.
(Via CuteLittlePinkPaper.com)
The BANGBANGBANG BOOMBOOMBOOM BULL MARKET claims a casualty:
Standard & Poor's on Thursday lowered its credit rating on Southwest Airlines Co. one notch to BBB from BBB+, citing lower demand and higher fuel prices that have negatively affected its cash flow. (Emphasis added)
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Standard & Poor's on Thursday lowered its credit rating on Southwest Airlines Co. one notch to BBB from BBB+, citing lower demand and higher fuel prices that have negatively affected its cash flow. (Emphasis added)
(Via Seeking Alpha)
TRANSLATION: I DON'T CARE IF THIS SHOW IS ONE BIG IN-JOKE! IT'S IMMORTAL!!
AND MOST VIEWERS ARE RETARDS ANYWAY!!!
Well, maybe not quite that bad, but the notion lurks.
AND MOST VIEWERS ARE RETARDS ANYWAY!!!
Well, maybe not quite that bad, but the notion lurks.
NBC Takes Huge Loss Selling Stake In Indian Network
Another promotion for Jeff Zucks!
BRIAN ROBBER!!!!!
Another promotion for Jeff Zucks!
BRIAN ROBBER!!!!!
Con-SER-va-tives are throwing a tantrum over PILLHEAD. We don't like it when someone's turned down for something because he's conservative. (In a way he's lucky, after what we learned about the scum called NFL owners.) On the other hand we read some con-SER-va-tives (possibly more than one) boasting the other day about how the PILL is a GREAT SATIRIST because he says INTENTIONALLY OUTRAGEOUS THINGS just to rile LIBERALS. Some of them have come back to hurt him -- a few in the form of false quotes. We have no sympathy. HE WHO LIVES BY THE INSULT.... (And we DON'T mean that literally.)
BULLETIN!
Citigroup reports third-quarter loss of 27 cents a share on revenue of $20.4 billion
DOW 100,000!
Citigroup reports third-quarter loss of 27 cents a share on revenue of $20.4 billion
DOW 100,000!
The Obama administration has pushed back hard against the charge of Katrina malaise, noting that Obama visited the storm-struck area five times before he was president.
When He wasn't president.
When He wasn't president.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sorry for the wit, but The Paper of Re-CORD has just run another press release about another cutesy-pie (or rather, cutesy-cake, ugh) humor blog, and aside from being jealous and wondering what we have to do to get hits we noticed the two damning words Andrews and McMeel -- yes, the syndicate-owned publisher that seems to specialize in news-hack-related junk books, most notably (or rather, not-ably) "humorous" ones. "'We're a talent agency,' says John McMeel, chairman of Andrews McMeel Universal and co-founder of Universal Press Syndicate", without irony. News hacks do not have a sense of humor, and never is that more obvious than when they try to tell a joke -- especially when the best jokes they tell are unintentional, and run as "news".
We confess we're highly annoyed too because the words Andrews and McMeel remind us of a certain local scribbler who became a zillionaire writing sappy tales of his dog, the sort of things it would have published if someone else hadn't found them first. (Such is its rep we thought it did.) These clowns may console themselves with their truckloads of money, but it is exceedingly unlikely they've ever published a book of value, especially an outfit that prints anthologies of Cathy, Dilbert, Doonesbury and Garfield.
Shucks, PILLHEAD won't be able to to rule over the NFL with his mouth (it says here). Now the owners will have to shake the taxpayers upside down from their ankles without him.
I wonder -- will we have...RADIO SILENCE tomorrow?
(Via THE BIG C!!!!!)
I wonder -- will we have...RADIO SILENCE tomorrow?
(Via THE BIG C!!!!!)
Having been humiliated twice, the second time by the supreme leader who wouldn't see her, Secretary of State Who? tries to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear without the sow.
Even Russian parliamentarians have more sense.
Even Russian parliamentarians have more sense.
Foolishly walking in the middle of the street to avoid three activist-bots with clipboards planted on a corner I reminded myself, what do activists and beggars have in common?
They're looking for CHANGE.
They're looking for CHANGE.
Bruce Wasserstein, one of the Wall Street Casino's leading dealers, has died.
Somebody just celebrated.
It's possible this is an electronic glitch. It's possible it isn't.
What an apt commentary for today.
P. S. at 7:40 p. m. It was a glitch; the stock is trading down after hours. Nonetheless G000,000,000,000GLE has "$91.57" as a 52-week high, and SLIME's site now boasts this absurd chart:
Yes, how thoroughly typical.
Somebody just celebrated.
It's possible this is an electronic glitch. It's possible it isn't.
What an apt commentary for today.
P. S. at 7:40 p. m. It was a glitch; the stock is trading down after hours. Nonetheless G000,000,000,000GLE has "$91.57" as a 52-week high, and SLIME's site now boasts this absurd chart:
Yes, how thoroughly typical.
MORE STARCHITECTURE!
After a piece of granite weighing 600 pounds fell to the sidewalk in August, about 1,000 granite panels will be removed from the street-level arcade that lines the exterior of the John R. Thompson Center, the main state office building in downtown Chicago, state officials announced Wednesday.
After a piece of granite weighing 600 pounds fell to the sidewalk in August, about 1,000 granite panels will be removed from the street-level arcade that lines the exterior of the John R. Thompson Center, the main state office building in downtown Chicago, state officials announced Wednesday.
I HATE when the Wall Street Casino plays coy. DAMMIT, you've talked yourselves into thinking DOW 15,000 and S&P 1,500 are justified. DO IT!
P. S. at 1:18 p. m. "WE HAVE A MARKET AND AN ECONOMY THAT IS [SIC] IN THE PROCESS OF ONE OF THE GREATEST COMEBACK STORIES EVER TOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [GREAT overemphasis added]
I repeat: DO IT NOW!
P. S. at 1:18 p. m. "WE HAVE A MARKET AND AN ECONOMY THAT IS [SIC] IN THE PROCESS OF ONE OF THE GREATEST COMEBACK STORIES EVER TOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [GREAT overemphasis added]
I repeat: DO IT NOW!
Delayed viewing boosts numbers for network series
We must never forget that people like
this are in the broadcasting biz. We've said "What's good for PEOPLE WARNER" so often we won't say it again, but somebody's rather brazenly hoping such manufactured fairy dust rubs off on GanNETt.
Without reposting FRANK's mug again, A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to GARY!
We must never forget that people like
this are in the broadcasting biz. We've said "What's good for PEOPLE WARNER" so often we won't say it again, but somebody's rather brazenly hoping such manufactured fairy dust rubs off on GanNETt.
Without reposting FRANK's mug again, A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to GARY!
We were not aware until the MALE MS. TRAVERS mentioned it that The Daily Kaplan proposed nominating a dead person for the Dynamite Memorial Good Intentions Prize. That said, and despite its INACCURACY, we can't fault the rag because at least the sentiment was in the right place, and it seems nitpicky to chide a paper that has committed far more egregious sins.
And besides, even TNR.com had to post this picture. Our Laureate's ego knows no bounds.
And besides, even TNR.com had to post this picture. Our Laureate's ego knows no bounds.
The White House's fear of protests from Code Pink and other left-wingers has put the brakes on President Obama making any public appearances during his visit to San Francisco this week.
Quick! What's the difference between His Omnipotence and Dubya? His Omnipotence is really really good, but he could be so much much much better!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Quick! What's the difference between His Omnipotence and Dubya? His Omnipotence is really really good, but he could be so much much much better!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
"The irony of this complaint is that real-world political science practitioners employed by media outlets - [George] Stephanopoulos, [Peggy] Noonan, James Carville, Karl Rove, Paul Begala, Larry Kudlow, Bill Bennett (the list goes on) - may know more about the subject than any of our premier political science faculties," Coburn spokesman John Hart said.
1. I've known a few poli-sci profs. I can vouch for this too. 2. Given the names here this may not be such a compliment.
1. I've known a few poli-sci profs. I can vouch for this too. 2. Given the names here this may not be such a compliment.
The biggest problems with this imperfect bill arise from cost. It does too little to tame health inflation, as Douglas Elmendorf, head of the CBO, hinted this week. And the bill is likely to cost far more than currently advertised, because of two wheezes. One is a lethargic implementation plan, which means that the full annual cost will not kick in for a few years yet (thus making the CBO’s mandatory ten-year cost estimate misleadingly low). The second is the assumption of heroic cost savings from Medicare and big cuts in payments. Stuart Butler of the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think-tank, scoffs that “this legislation is an example of the triumph of budgeting hope over experience.” [LAST GRAF]
All the more reason to rushrushrush it through!
All the more reason to rushrushrush it through!
U.S. Retail Sales Fall 1.5% In Sept.
JPMorgan Earns $3.6B, Loan Losses Stay High
DOW 15,000 HERE WE COME!!!!!
JPMorgan Earns $3.6B, Loan Losses Stay High
DOW 15,000 HERE WE COME!!!!!
National Amusements to sell shares of Viacom, CBS
No! NO!! SUMNER IS MORTAL!!!!!
But not as mortal as six months ago.
No! NO!! SUMNER IS MORTAL!!!!!
But not as mortal as six months ago.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
In other future construction of minarets:
The chief executive of Tesco, Britain’s largest private employer, has criticised educational standards in Britain’s schools for failing to prepare teenagers for the workplace....
Tesco is unhappy that it spends time training its new recruits in basic numeracy and “communications”, which includes writing, because workers are ill-equipped when they leave school. Sir Terry’s forthright comments to a food industry conference were echoed by Asda, Britain’s second biggest supermarket chain.
A leading Asda executive told the same conference that low educational standards had led to a state of affairs where the supermarket was finding “nappies discarded in the booze aisle” in deprived areas, as parents switched spending from their children to alcohol.
The chief executive of Tesco, Britain’s largest private employer, has criticised educational standards in Britain’s schools for failing to prepare teenagers for the workplace....
Tesco is unhappy that it spends time training its new recruits in basic numeracy and “communications”, which includes writing, because workers are ill-equipped when they leave school. Sir Terry’s forthright comments to a food industry conference were echoed by Asda, Britain’s second biggest supermarket chain.
A leading Asda executive told the same conference that low educational standards had led to a state of affairs where the supermarket was finding “nappies discarded in the booze aisle” in deprived areas, as parents switched spending from their children to alcohol.
The son of the schemer who snuck the Colts out of Baltimore says no to PILLHEAD, meaning before this is over the F in NFL will stand for FARCE.
SHUT UP, JIM.
Irsay owes his wealth almost entirely to the greatly increased value of the Colts' franchise, which is due to the sweetheart Lucas Oil Stadium agreement. That lopsided agreement also landed the Capital Improvement Board, and by extension, the Indianapolis taxpayers, deeply in debt....
Irsay has to be the most arrogant, unappreciative owner in the NFL.
No, DON'T shut up. You BELONG there.
SHUT UP, JIM.
Irsay owes his wealth almost entirely to the greatly increased value of the Colts' franchise, which is due to the sweetheart Lucas Oil Stadium agreement. That lopsided agreement also landed the Capital Improvement Board, and by extension, the Indianapolis taxpayers, deeply in debt....
Irsay has to be the most arrogant, unappreciative owner in the NFL.
No, DON'T shut up. You BELONG there.
ARCHDaily! pulled a DANDY the last two days!
We call this one -- "A Starchitect Cracks His Knuckles!" (In DUBAI, natch -- and from an outfit called Graft Lab.)
How about, "Starchitects Rebuild the Berlin Wall"....
How about, "The Burger King Museum"!
And last but not least, Kazakhstan builds a tribute to the rotary electric shaver!
We call this one -- "A Starchitect Cracks His Knuckles!" (In DUBAI, natch -- and from an outfit called Graft Lab.)
How about, "Starchitects Rebuild the Berlin Wall"....
How about, "The Burger King Museum"!
And last but not least, Kazakhstan builds a tribute to the rotary electric shaver!
BILL, STEVE BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWLMER AND THE BUGMEISTERS today tried to install fourteen patches on my PC. One failed. (Or in BUGMEISTER parlance, "Failed!") It now takes five minutes for my computer to fully warm up. A few more "patches" and my PC will be permanently frozen. Is this a sales pitch for a new box?
NPR, which gave a near-perfect score to Teddy, wastes our time telling us a computer program can predict pop hits. Feed it "The Man I Love" and no doubt it will score it a 1. But NPR will have wasted our time, and whatever its past near-perfect score, we give it a -20.
And why is it every time I think this network I think that klutzy old theme for All Things Considered that vanished 27 years ago? (You know, "klink-klink klink-klink klink-klink klink-klink....") For corniness that scores a 9.3.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal, which scores -18)
(Klutzy link added 10/30/2010, in honor of the formerly public radio's continuing excellence)
And why is it every time I think this network I think that klutzy old theme for All Things Considered that vanished 27 years ago? (You know, "klink-klink klink-klink klink-klink klink-klink....") For corniness that scores a 9.3.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal, which scores -18)
(Klutzy link added 10/30/2010, in honor of the formerly public radio's continuing excellence)
Genius in Web Advertising: We click on this story ("Worst Stuff to Buy at BJ's Club and Costco") and a Ragu ad pops up. Is someone trying to tell us something?
If this turns into the monumental mess one expects two parties will be to blame: the Democrats for rushrushrushing it for mere partisan advantage, and news hacks for taking the time they could have used explaining the bill instead explaining why Wacko was a genius, and John Hughes an immortal.
In the first proof of its supreme efficacy since His Omnipotence won His award:
Threatening Iran with more sanctions would be counterproductive, Russia's foreign minister declared Tuesday, resisting efforts by U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton to win agreement for tougher measures if Iran fails to prove its nuclear program is peaceful.
Yep Hillary, you are invisible.
Threatening Iran with more sanctions would be counterproductive, Russia's foreign minister declared Tuesday, resisting efforts by U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton to win agreement for tougher measures if Iran fails to prove its nuclear program is peaceful.
Yep Hillary, you are invisible.
Monday, October 12, 2009
We wonder why the left-wing version of FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News hasn't plastered this all over its public service.
(Via -- oh well -- Spectator.org)
(Via -- oh well -- Spectator.org)
In an ASSPress press release a spokespoop for an ossified nudie rag says of its decision to put a zillionaire doughnut eater's creation on its cover, "We knew that this would really appeal to the 20-something crowd", forgetting that the object of its affection is at least as old, and that the twenty-somethings who revered this comic masterwork from the start are forty-somethings now. Another twenty years and Matt's genius will draw the same demos as the nightly news.
And yes, this includes Jo-NAH.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
And yes, this includes Jo-NAH.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
Now the NFL Players' Association is opposed to PILLHEAD because he's CONSERVATIVE.
Inconveniently the NFL's history is full of owners as moral and virtuous as head lice.
We further suspect this righteous union will have aimed more anger at PILLHEAD than at a certain fancier of DOGS.
(Via MediaBistro)
Inconveniently the NFL's history is full of owners as moral and virtuous as head lice.
We further suspect this righteous union will have aimed more anger at PILLHEAD than at a certain fancier of DOGS.
(Via MediaBistro)
We'd heard of the Bugmeisters' cloud-computing project before -- herding lots of containers full of servers in and out of a warehouse -- but if this photo doesn't suggest that sci-fi nightmare we mentioned yesterday; it makes too clear the future will be in lights and metal and blues and blacks, and humans will become ever more marginal.
Few seem to have heard the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's announcement that it will no longer endorse political candidates. More papers should do likewise. Endorsements are predictable and irrelevant: predictable in that we know who newspapers will endorse (anyone with a big fat D), irrelevant because voters already have enough cause to ignore newspapers. And too many of the reasons we choose in the voting booth have nothing to do with reason anyway; twiddling our thumbs we must choose among ciphers or for the least worst, and hope beyond hope for the best.
(Via GREG)
(Via GREG)
Speaking of Grate.com we'd never heard of The Very Hungry Caterpillar until this piece. We ran across a copy at the nearby Barnes and Noble and thought it vapid. Anyone who raises a child must take time to gather a variety of books, and of good books. They're out there. Some parents may have no one to blame but themselves if their cute fuzzy asks mommy and daddy to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar 800 times. This is the tyranny of Barney, and it is preventable.
Iceland Shrinks 8% as Prices Increase 11% in Deepest Recession
Any other embarrassing John Cleese ads for KAUPTHING out there?
Any other embarrassing John Cleese ads for KAUPTHING out there?
More from Grate.com:
- Skunks
From a continuing series on revolting creatures.
White House: Fox News 'a wing of the Republican Party'
True, and there's an answer to it: just turn to the wings of the Democratic Party. They've been flapping skyward for months.
True, and there's an answer to it: just turn to the wings of the Democratic Party. They've been flapping skyward for months.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton scoffed Monday at suggestions that she has been “largely invisible” on major foreign policy issues in the Obama White House, and said that she has no interest in another run at the White House.
1. Who? 2. If Hillary has been invisible it's because His Omnipotence is blind to foreign policy.
1. Who? 2. If Hillary has been invisible it's because His Omnipotence is blind to foreign policy.
How apt that on the day the Gekko Kudlows threaten to boing the Dow past 10,000 for no known reason the Dynamite Memorial awards close out with their economics "honor", and let us not forget more of a few of the honorees have brought our -- economy to where it is now.
I thought they had today off, anyhow. Why couldn't they have taken off?
I thought they had today off, anyhow. Why couldn't they have taken off?
Preposterous:
Newspapers have cut their spending on journalism by about $1.6B annually
That's not jernalism, that's salaries. This also includes a lot of duplicate editors and reporters and lots and lots of ad-blurbists. And let us remember -- the press was still pretty bad $1.6 billion ago.
Even the author of this specious factoid admits to it:
Newsroom spending, by the way is 80 to 90 percent salaries. It also includes fees for wire service and freelance contributions, as well as a travel and training budget....
These raw numbers, you may already be thinking, don't tell the full story. Even stalwart newspaper enthusiasts would admit that some of the trimmed spending and positions were expendable with little impact on quality for readers. The industry is still hacking at inefficiencies like having six editors read a single story or sending hundreds of reporters, editors and photographers to the Super Bowl.
The question, then, isn't how much is or isn't spent. The question is what's it being spent on. And the answer now, and $1.6 billion ago, is the same: Mostly the wrong things.
Newspapers have cut their spending on journalism by about $1.6B annually
That's not jernalism, that's salaries. This also includes a lot of duplicate editors and reporters and lots and lots of ad-blurbists. And let us remember -- the press was still pretty bad $1.6 billion ago.
Even the author of this specious factoid admits to it:
Newsroom spending, by the way is 80 to 90 percent salaries. It also includes fees for wire service and freelance contributions, as well as a travel and training budget....
These raw numbers, you may already be thinking, don't tell the full story. Even stalwart newspaper enthusiasts would admit that some of the trimmed spending and positions were expendable with little impact on quality for readers. The industry is still hacking at inefficiencies like having six editors read a single story or sending hundreds of reporters, editors and photographers to the Super Bowl.
The question, then, isn't how much is or isn't spent. The question is what's it being spent on. And the answer now, and $1.6 billion ago, is the same: Mostly the wrong things.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Just what we need, PVT. ZELL: A LALA man logrolling for the retired rock ad-blurbist Robert "Over the" Hilburn.
Now if only Mogul's Friend could join him.
Dr. Dre was in the studio several years ago and Hilburn's name was mentioned. The hip-hop artist recalled that in his early N.W.A days [Don't ask what N. means -- Bob certainly never told HIS readers] he was perplexed to see a middle-aged white guy in the crowd. "The next day the Calendar said we were the future. Robert Hilburn, that's who it was. You tell old man Hilburn I said he's all right."
TRANSLATION: He could roll logs too.
(Via the infernal AHTSJournal)
Now if only Mogul's Friend could join him.
Dr. Dre was in the studio several years ago and Hilburn's name was mentioned. The hip-hop artist recalled that in his early N.W.A days [Don't ask what N. means -- Bob certainly never told HIS readers] he was perplexed to see a middle-aged white guy in the crowd. "The next day the Calendar said we were the future. Robert Hilburn, that's who it was. You tell old man Hilburn I said he's all right."
TRANSLATION: He could roll logs too.
(Via the infernal AHTSJournal)
From The Boston Glob:
Under a brilliant sun, hundreds of thousands of singing, chanting and cheering gay men and women from around the country marched past the White House and poured onto the Washington Mall yesterday, attempting to impress America with their presence and power.
Oh wait -- this was from 1993. Well the best news is always the oldest.
And no, we have not forgotten the virtual lies of MALKINS. (Via the LIAR DAVID BROCK)
Under a brilliant sun, hundreds of thousands of singing, chanting and cheering gay men and women from around the country marched past the White House and poured onto the Washington Mall yesterday, attempting to impress America with their presence and power.
Oh wait -- this was from 1993. Well the best news is always the oldest.
And no, we have not forgotten the virtual lies of MALKINS. (Via the LIAR DAVID BROCK)
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. The Crainiacs offer another wearying excuse for buzzwords:
The 2010 Census is expected to find that 309 million people live in the United States. But one person will be missing: the average American.
"The concept of an 'average American' is gone, probably forever," demographics expert Peter Francese writes in 2010 America, a new Ad Age white paper. "The average American has been replaced by a complex, multidimensional society that defies simplistic labeling."
I doubt if there's been an "average American" since the first Indians arrived. Why try making a vice out of a virtue?
2. The Crainiacs offer another wearying press release for that cutesy-pie bad-grammar cat site -- but some other Crainiac (yes, that Crainiac) gets his revenge:
I Blame Twitter for the Fact That I Totally Hate Kittens
3. Some of the folks who made His Omnipotence an honorary EU member think they can stop binge drinking by stopping the ads. OR:
In France, there has been a long-time TV ban on alcohol advertising, yet the binge drinking culture is beginning to permeate French society, which has had a reputation as the home of moderate drinking.
Sorry to repeat myself, but the only thing that will stop European binge drinking is minarets.
4. Moon 'n' Stars is producing a magazine, which is better than producing junk television.
1. The Crainiacs offer another wearying excuse for buzzwords:
The 2010 Census is expected to find that 309 million people live in the United States. But one person will be missing: the average American.
"The concept of an 'average American' is gone, probably forever," demographics expert Peter Francese writes in 2010 America, a new Ad Age white paper. "The average American has been replaced by a complex, multidimensional society that defies simplistic labeling."
I doubt if there's been an "average American" since the first Indians arrived. Why try making a vice out of a virtue?
2. The Crainiacs offer another wearying press release for that cutesy-pie bad-grammar cat site -- but some other Crainiac (yes, that Crainiac) gets his revenge:
I Blame Twitter for the Fact That I Totally Hate Kittens
3. Some of the folks who made His Omnipotence an honorary EU member think they can stop binge drinking by stopping the ads. OR:
In France, there has been a long-time TV ban on alcohol advertising, yet the binge drinking culture is beginning to permeate French society, which has had a reputation as the home of moderate drinking.
Sorry to repeat myself, but the only thing that will stop European binge drinking is minarets.
4. Moon 'n' Stars is producing a magazine, which is better than producing junk television.
Today being utterly bored I took a brief walk west down Walnut Street. A few doors east of the one-room apartment where Leonard Bernstein lived as a Curtis student and no one knows there was a pretty little bridal shop, I believe named Maria's, all white, for women with exceptional taste. The windows are wrapped in brown paper now. It reminded me that women care so little for their clothes; if only they dressed up in fluffy blouses and frilly skirts -- and then I'd be more frustrated. The few women who do dress up look like sketches from Saul Steinberg.
Some months ago I'd heard that Exelon's local unit was redoing the billboard atop its Market Street office tower. Today I saw it. It looked surreal. Day-Glo colors and the ugly Arial font marching around at 10fps. It made me think again that just because science says you can do something it doesn't mean you should. I remembered reading of LED hubcaps. I imagined emergency vehicles with flashing-light paint jobs. Then I realized anyone could have them. My only solace is I'll be gone before the world becomes a sci-fi nightmare.
Walking back east toward home I passed what was once an eccentric antiquarian bookstore -- long ago out to the suburbs and oblivion. It's been vacant since. Someone tried turning it into a RENDELI and got as far as installing new stairs. Someone else at GMAC Real Estate is selling it. How apt.
At the Chatham, a fine old apartment building slightly disfigured so some of its decoration wouldn't impale the pedestrians below, a little black-and-white cat slept in a cage in a pet store. I felt sad. Do cats have feelings? Perhaps it was perfectly content, dreaming of fat mice. I said once that I thought science would advance enough that we'd know animals had feelings, which would not stop tigers and fishes and birds from eating them. I remembered my little Ginger. She was in my very first blog post. I didn't treat her that well; she's been gone almost six years. I would very much like another cat but I'm not so good at litter duty.
A vagrant asked me for a light. I said no. Somehow I don't take offense when vagrants ask for a light -- I guess because I don't smoke.
From the lamp posts of Rittenhouse Square the local Y promoted a Jewish film festival. What's that? All Woody Allen movies? Some things just sound like jokes.
In the lobby of the building where I live a little girl said hi to a woman passing by. The woman didn't say hi back. It is a duty of people to show cute little kids that somebody likes them.
Sorry if I'm a little treacly right now but it's been a while since I've made something other an inane political bon mot (or should I say mal mot).
Some months ago I'd heard that Exelon's local unit was redoing the billboard atop its Market Street office tower. Today I saw it. It looked surreal. Day-Glo colors and the ugly Arial font marching around at 10fps. It made me think again that just because science says you can do something it doesn't mean you should. I remembered reading of LED hubcaps. I imagined emergency vehicles with flashing-light paint jobs. Then I realized anyone could have them. My only solace is I'll be gone before the world becomes a sci-fi nightmare.
Walking back east toward home I passed what was once an eccentric antiquarian bookstore -- long ago out to the suburbs and oblivion. It's been vacant since. Someone tried turning it into a RENDELI and got as far as installing new stairs. Someone else at GMAC Real Estate is selling it. How apt.
At the Chatham, a fine old apartment building slightly disfigured so some of its decoration wouldn't impale the pedestrians below, a little black-and-white cat slept in a cage in a pet store. I felt sad. Do cats have feelings? Perhaps it was perfectly content, dreaming of fat mice. I said once that I thought science would advance enough that we'd know animals had feelings, which would not stop tigers and fishes and birds from eating them. I remembered my little Ginger. She was in my very first blog post. I didn't treat her that well; she's been gone almost six years. I would very much like another cat but I'm not so good at litter duty.
A vagrant asked me for a light. I said no. Somehow I don't take offense when vagrants ask for a light -- I guess because I don't smoke.
From the lamp posts of Rittenhouse Square the local Y promoted a Jewish film festival. What's that? All Woody Allen movies? Some things just sound like jokes.
In the lobby of the building where I live a little girl said hi to a woman passing by. The woman didn't say hi back. It is a duty of people to show cute little kids that somebody likes them.
Sorry if I'm a little treacly right now but it's been a while since I've made something other an inane political bon mot (or should I say mal mot).
It appears The Award may not spike His Omnipotence's polls -- but this IS Rasmussen, and it does skew con-SER-va-tive.
Given Obama's win, it's not surprising to find that 76% of Republicans think politics play a role in the awarding of the prize while Democrats are evenly divided. Sixty-six percent (66%) of adults not affiliated with either party say politics are at play in the giving of the award. (Emphasis added)
Thanks again for besliming an honor that went to Sakharov and Gen. Marshall and Dr. King, Hor-GHEH, or Jog-BLUUND, or whatever your name is.
Given Obama's win, it's not surprising to find that 76% of Republicans think politics play a role in the awarding of the prize while Democrats are evenly divided. Sixty-six percent (66%) of adults not affiliated with either party say politics are at play in the giving of the award. (Emphasis added)
Thanks again for besliming an honor that went to Sakharov and Gen. Marshall and Dr. King, Hor-GHEH, or Jog-BLUUND, or whatever your name is.
I think, however, we've found three that are even more embarrassing.
You'd think he'd be able to finance his divorce from these.
FOUR.
A melancholy reminder as we ponder the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL of GLENN BECK (or rather the foolishness -- news hacks can't tell):
"From time to time, I go back to find the golden age of civility," said Michael Barone, lead author of the authoritative Almanac of American Politics, "and it has proved elusive." He cites Coughlin. He cites fistfights over policy at the mid-century Georgetown dinner parties so often lauded for their bipartisan bonhomie. "I'm not sure we are in a greater era of incivility."
A supporter of Thomas Jefferson once called John Adams "a hideously hermaphroditical character." Former Treasury secretary Alexander Hamilton called Vice President Aaron Burr "bankrupt by redemption except by the plunder of his country," an attack so heinous that the men dueled, and Hamilton died.
"From time to time, I go back to find the golden age of civility," said Michael Barone, lead author of the authoritative Almanac of American Politics, "and it has proved elusive." He cites Coughlin. He cites fistfights over policy at the mid-century Georgetown dinner parties so often lauded for their bipartisan bonhomie. "I'm not sure we are in a greater era of incivility."
A supporter of Thomas Jefferson once called John Adams "a hideously hermaphroditical character." Former Treasury secretary Alexander Hamilton called Vice President Aaron Burr "bankrupt by redemption except by the plunder of his country," an attack so heinous that the men dueled, and Hamilton died.
Speaking of liberal, when does some hack run a piece for a frequently smug, heavily-ironic, all-too-patronized (and patronizing) Web site saying "Yes, we're liberal -- and we should be proud of it!" In short, the old HWWWWWALTER CRRRONKITE routine of belching how being liberal means being with the poor, the sick, the unfortunate blahblahblah when so many people know what liberal really means. We're waiting for it.
Speaking of PR, which will have gotten more of it from the hacks: today's gay-rights march or the march of the teabaggers?
I think we know already.
I think we know already.
Will Frank GanNETt or the Marriotts or somebody tell me what a 44-month-old press release is doing atop the most popular on USAOKAY!!!!!.com? Or is Frank running another press release?