THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, July 23, 2005
Which reminds me, have mayors ALWAYS been fools? Not long ago I wended my way around our City Hall and noticed a statue ignored for decades -- a memorial to the "martyred" President McKinley. I can see a crowd of thousands at the dedication gathering around a mayor dressed to the eighteens let alone the nines, speaking in the most orotund of oratory, rolling his rrrrrrrrrrs and wearing the hoity-toitiest of British accents, "It behooooves me to say this grrrrrrand and grrrracious leaderrrrr, this patriOT of the ages, a man with the vision of Washington and the nobility of Lincoln, a man borne on the swelling chords of history to blahblahblah...." To be sure noble oratory was necessary with a monument adjacent a tower built with the noblest of graft. So that was one kind of mayor fool. Then came the Curley/Skeffingtons, who saw their job as robbing the candy store and giving the contents away to all the kids, and the grown-up kids too. Then came the REFORMERS, like the brave Richardson Dilworth, who seemed to live life in one perpetual tantrum as they tore down half their city centers for bland office buildings. Then came the type-A neighbahood hacks, the RIZZOS, the DALEY the ELDERS, those sitcom bosses who had all the schemes of Ralph Kramden and none of his lovability, who with their unceasing torrent of verbal heartburn proved that Archie Bunker could be mayor too. Then came the pioneering black mayors, who pioneered their cities into welfare dependency and corruption. The latest generation of fools are PR-driven frauds who look upon Taj Mahal stadiums and mammoth street festivals as the height of immortality, who seem bent on turning their towns into meccas for young rich neutered snobs, who live life with one perpetual phony smile, who think it is a grand achievement to get their cities NOTICED. They KNOW, even if they cannot or will not speak it, that unlike the great metropolises of yore, the New Yorks with their intellectual froth and the Chicagos with their bustling commerce, all the modern big city has to offer is grime and crime. No, mayors have always been fools, but now, as their cities sink into rubble beneath their hubris, their foolishness is becoming terminal.
Sad:
ROANOKE, Va. (AP) -- Wal-Mart has ditched a program that helped single shoppers find love in the discount store's aisles.
Officials at Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Ark., ordered their Roanoke store to put an end to Singles Shopping, the only program of its kind at Wal-Mart's U.S. stores.
Taking a cue from Wal-Marts in Germany, the month-old program encouraged customers on Friday evenings to pick up a red bow they could place on their shopping carts as an invitation to other singles. "Flirt points" were set up in various sections of the store.
A Wal-Mart spokesman declined to comment on the reason behind the program's cancellation. But customer Dale Firebaugh, who showed up Friday night hoping to meet his match, said store employees told him several people had complained.
"I'm disappointed," said Firebaugh, 63. "Where can someone over 40 who doesn't smoke or drink or go to bars meet someone?"
Have you tried Kmart?
ROANOKE, Va. (AP) -- Wal-Mart has ditched a program that helped single shoppers find love in the discount store's aisles.
Officials at Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Ark., ordered their Roanoke store to put an end to Singles Shopping, the only program of its kind at Wal-Mart's U.S. stores.
Taking a cue from Wal-Marts in Germany, the month-old program encouraged customers on Friday evenings to pick up a red bow they could place on their shopping carts as an invitation to other singles. "Flirt points" were set up in various sections of the store.
A Wal-Mart spokesman declined to comment on the reason behind the program's cancellation. But customer Dale Firebaugh, who showed up Friday night hoping to meet his match, said store employees told him several people had complained.
"I'm disappointed," said Firebaugh, 63. "Where can someone over 40 who doesn't smoke or drink or go to bars meet someone?"
Have you tried Kmart?
Simon Pluess, spokesman for the World Food Program in Geneva, is a brutally honest man. "When a humanitarian crisis gets big play in the media," he says, "donations flow in. Otherwise, there is no reaction."
Time for another LIVE 8?!?!?
Time for another LIVE 8?!?!?
Friday, July 22, 2005
Another chance for NEWS HACKS to be crusading and totally unironic:
Kerry Seeks Release of Roberts' Documents
HARDY-HAR-HAR!!!!!
Kerry Seeks Release of Roberts' Documents
HARDY-HAR-HAR!!!!!
Another burgeoning tactic of NEWS HACKS is to treat Democratic Congressional "hearings" as legitimate. Indeed CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE CALLS this a "hearing." Of course we don't have to worry about hearing with NEWS HACKS. They can't hear anyway.
And to COMPOUND the propaganda ANOTHER of those @#$%&* NC.EUROSUNSA.COM ADS POPPED UP!
And to COMPOUND the propaganda ANOTHER of those @#$%&* NC.EUROSUNSA.COM ADS POPPED UP!
Our NEUHARTHISM-OF-THE-MONTH-AWARD-WINNING PANDA furrows the brows of ONE MUSIC LOVER:
R Kelly wrote:
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
He belongs in jail for that, if for no other reason.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!
R Kelly wrote:
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
He belongs in jail for that, if for no other reason.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!
So somebody calls CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES, and -- voila -- instant publicity!
In the old days these would have been called -- eccentrics. Today they're called -- HEROES.
A fool by any name is still a fool.
In the old days these would have been called -- eccentrics. Today they're called -- HEROES.
A fool by any name is still a fool.
"He knew that excesses are being done to Muslims. Incidents like desecration of the Koran have always been in his mind."
Was TOILETBOWL RAG in on this too?
Was TOILETBOWL RAG in on this too?
OMERTA goes out with BOTH PEA-SHOOTERS BLAZING:
I believe content had nothing to do with the circulation decline; if anything, the decline was mitigated by our content. Where does the blame lie? The list is long: 1. The scandal at Newsday, which prompted both our internal auditors and the Audit Bureau of Circulation to disallow certain types of sales that were previously considered legitimate. 2. The advent of the "do not call" list, which stymied our phone sales. 3. The reduction of the newspaper's cost base by more than $130 million annually, which cut the strength of marketing and promotion efforts, among others. 4. Issues on the business side that recently prompted the appointment of new directors of circulation and marketing. 5. And, of course, increased competition for readers' time. That's only a partial list.
TRANSLATION: I'm right and you're wrong. This DELUSIONAL ASS isn't finished in the NEWS BIZ. NEXT STOP: NEW YORK.
I believe content had nothing to do with the circulation decline; if anything, the decline was mitigated by our content. Where does the blame lie? The list is long: 1. The scandal at Newsday, which prompted both our internal auditors and the Audit Bureau of Circulation to disallow certain types of sales that were previously considered legitimate. 2. The advent of the "do not call" list, which stymied our phone sales. 3. The reduction of the newspaper's cost base by more than $130 million annually, which cut the strength of marketing and promotion efforts, among others. 4. Issues on the business side that recently prompted the appointment of new directors of circulation and marketing. 5. And, of course, increased competition for readers' time. That's only a partial list.
TRANSLATION: I'm right and you're wrong. This DELUSIONAL ASS isn't finished in the NEWS BIZ. NEXT STOP: NEW YORK.
VANITY FAIR LOST THE CASE!
They should NEVER have put LEW LAPHAM on the stand!
Oh well, for once we agree with that towering sycophant Gray: why the hell did this Humbert Humbert of the CI-NE-MA win?
They should NEVER have put LEW LAPHAM on the stand!
Oh well, for once we agree with that towering sycophant Gray: why the hell did this Humbert Humbert of the CI-NE-MA win?
I don't know who "nc.eurosunsa.com" is, but I've noticed quite a few of its annoying popups have blossomed on my computers -- despite IE.
BILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
People who do not submit to a search will be allowed to leave, but will not be permitted into the subway station. The police commissioner said officers would take pains to avoid singling people out for searches based on race or ethnicity.
"No racial profiling will be allowed," Mr. Kelly said. "It's against our policies. But it will be a systematized approach."
Honorary Mayor Mike is not serious. He'll search old ladies and babies, and be reelected in a landslide, and continue as the figurehead of the Big Apple.
"No racial profiling will be allowed," Mr. Kelly said. "It's against our policies. But it will be a systematized approach."
Honorary Mayor Mike is not serious. He'll search old ladies and babies, and be reelected in a landslide, and continue as the figurehead of the Big Apple.
Study Reveals 80% Of Americans Still Have Little Interest In Satellite Radio
Translation: ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN's gonna have a tough time selling KA-KA JOKES, WEE-WEE JOKES and BIG-BAZOOM JOKES.
Translation: ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN's gonna have a tough time selling KA-KA JOKES, WEE-WEE JOKES and BIG-BAZOOM JOKES.
JERNALISTS do it AGAIN:
An e-mail mistake by the Casey Journalism Center at the University of Maryland wrongly invited hundreds of journalists nationwide to the university's prestigious "Casey Medals" awards. The goof also launched a perpetual e-mail whirlwind as those who responded to the incorrect note unwittingly sent their feedback to everyone else on the recipient list.
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
An e-mail mistake by the Casey Journalism Center at the University of Maryland wrongly invited hundreds of journalists nationwide to the university's prestigious "Casey Medals" awards. The goof also launched a perpetual e-mail whirlwind as those who responded to the incorrect note unwittingly sent their feedback to everyone else on the recipient list.
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
ROMY's is having a big dust-up over OMERTA and his successor. There's no way you can get out a good paper with organization-man bean counters in the publisher's office on the one side, obsessing over inane detail while devising every last cheap reader-insulting trick they can to halt defections, and the TRUE BELIEVERS of the luxury news suites on the other, who will march as one off a cliff for the truth -- always their truth, almost always a LIBERAL DEMOCRATIC truth.
OH oh:
Dobson: 'Roberts Unquestionably Qualified'
Does that mean he's a big fan of JESUS SLASHER MOVIES?
Dobson: 'Roberts Unquestionably Qualified'
Does that mean he's a big fan of JESUS SLASHER MOVIES?
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Now, that may be enough to get Washington all a bubble as of July 2005, but I would suggest that within a few years it will be as thoroughly forgotten as the question, "Who hired Craig Livingstone?" I say this as someone who tirelessly pressed that very question and who can no longer remember exactly why.
Yes, this is an "interesting" article.
Yes, this is an "interesting" article.
Gerry Thomas, inventor of the TV dinner, lazy slobs like me will ALWAYS be in your debt.
And tonight, in his honor, I ate a TV dinner.
And tonight, in his honor, I ate a TV dinner.
Gulp! The DR. EVILS of the game biz changed the rating on that scuzzball entertainment to "Adults Only," which probably means more people will buy it than before.
Follow-up: Nope, I guess not; Take Two's "SUSPENDING PRODUCTION," according to GameSpot, which it should have done the moment it INTRODUCED THE GAME.
Now do we crib from the DR. EVIL playbook and release an UNRATED VERSION?
Follow-up: Nope, I guess not; Take Two's "SUSPENDING PRODUCTION," according to GameSpot, which it should have done the moment it INTRODUCED THE GAME.
Now do we crib from the DR. EVIL playbook and release an UNRATED VERSION?
The stuff Daley doesn't know can fill a quarry
I'd say the odds of hizzoner being indicted just went UP.
"Daley's reputation is that he's a hands-on mayor, a detail mayor," U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., a possible mayoral challenger, told me. "But you just can't take all the credit when things go well, and then, when things don't go well, you know nothing."
You can't?
DEFINITELY.
I'd say the odds of hizzoner being indicted just went UP.
"Daley's reputation is that he's a hands-on mayor, a detail mayor," U.S. Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., a possible mayoral challenger, told me. "But you just can't take all the credit when things go well, and then, when things don't go well, you know nothing."
You can't?
DEFINITELY.
THE GRANDEST STOOGE OF JERNALISM'S AT IT AGAIN:
Editor's Note: The following story may contain spoilers. If you'd rather not know anything, stop reading now.
CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!), anytime you BREAK WIND out of your NEWS HOLE you SPOIL my DAY.
By the way, I've got a new motto for your voluminous -- output: IF YOU'D RATHER NOT KNOW ANYTHING, START READING NOW.
NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD WINNER! Hua Hsu -- that sounds like a name for a panda bear. Something tells me most panda bears would disown this PIECE.
You were a hero Ken, but you loony-leftists don't want to be heroes, NO -- YOU HAVE TO OPEN YOUR BIG, FAT MOUTHS.
The REUT gives this MORON a STANDING OVATION.
The REUT gives this MORON a STANDING OVATION.
OMERTA'S QUITTING!
Omerta may be gone but his CODE will live on.
Gray Davis thanks you, Little Michael thanks you, liberals everywhere thank you, and I thank you.
Some senior preacher at one of the JERNALISM THUMBSUCKERS calls OMERTA "one of the great editors, his editing came under fire for bogus reasons, blahblahblah," pretty well confirming he was a status-quo-endorsing liberal.
There's no doubt that the significance of journalism prizes can be overestimated....
Thirteen P-Ulitzers and declining circulation -- AMEN, BROTHER!
Omerta may be gone but his CODE will live on.
Gray Davis thanks you, Little Michael thanks you, liberals everywhere thank you, and I thank you.
Some senior preacher at one of the JERNALISM THUMBSUCKERS calls OMERTA "one of the great editors, his editing came under fire for bogus reasons, blahblahblah," pretty well confirming he was a status-quo-endorsing liberal.
There's no doubt that the significance of journalism prizes can be overestimated....
Thirteen P-Ulitzers and declining circulation -- AMEN, BROTHER!
When the series ended in 1969, Doohan found himself typecast as Montgomery Scott, the canny engineer with a burr in his voice. In 1973, he complained to his dentist, who advised him: "Jimmy, you're going to be Scotty long after you're dead. If I were you, I'd go with the flow."
"I took his advice," said Doohan, "and since then everything's been just lovely."
Goodbye, Scotty, and happy voyages.
"I took his advice," said Doohan, "and since then everything's been just lovely."
Goodbye, Scotty, and happy voyages.
BIGMEDIA try yet again to put their fig leaf in a hothouse; but no matter what they do, it always SHRINKS.
P. S. ONE LINK in GoogleNews -- from the PR site VARIETY.COM.
P. S. ONE LINK in GoogleNews -- from the PR site VARIETY.COM.
Judge Roberts wrote the opinion for the Appeals Court in the infamous “French fry in the Metro station” case, in which a 12-year-old girl was handcuffed, stripped of her shoelaces and shoved into a windowless van because she at a McDonald’s fry at a Metro stop.
The idiocy of the Metro cops here in DC is well-known, and we Metro riders are heartened by the fact that Judge Roberts suggested in his opinion that the police were a bit overzealous. At the same time, Judge Roberts and his fellow jurists rejected the 12-year-old’s claim that being arrested in the first place was a violation of her Fourth and Fifth Amendments. Judge Roberts sided with those who argued that the District of Columbia has the right to have dopey, draconian laws and the right to enforce them in embarrassingly ham-fisted ways.
That’s good news all around.
It is?
The idiocy of the Metro cops here in DC is well-known, and we Metro riders are heartened by the fact that Judge Roberts suggested in his opinion that the police were a bit overzealous. At the same time, Judge Roberts and his fellow jurists rejected the 12-year-old’s claim that being arrested in the first place was a violation of her Fourth and Fifth Amendments. Judge Roberts sided with those who argued that the District of Columbia has the right to have dopey, draconian laws and the right to enforce them in embarrassingly ham-fisted ways.
That’s good news all around.
It is?
OH oh:
President Bush last night nominated John G Roberts, a conservative judge who once wrote a legal opinion arguing against abortion rights....
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.
And his WIFE was a PRO-LIFE ACTIVIST!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALPH!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABS!!!!!!!!!!
President Bush last night nominated John G Roberts, a conservative judge who once wrote a legal opinion arguing against abortion rights....
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.
And his WIFE was a PRO-LIFE ACTIVIST!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALPH!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABS!!!!!!!!!!
What is with these ac-TORS? Cameron's an absolute airhead (and a decreasingly cute one at that), but you would think morons like this would know their sordid private lives can and will be used against them. But then these knuckleheads have even less sense than their puppetmasters.
You know, we're running out of ways to say, "Look, another horror remake" without repeating ourselves.
SO STOP REPEATING.
SO STOP REPEATING.
Pity Suzanne Somers. There is no laugh track in a theater.
P. S. The CAST PARTY included this all-star line-up: "FRANKIE AVALON, LES MOONVES, JULIE CHEN, MARY BONO, ALAN SIMPSON, and ALAN HAMEL" [SIC]. Simpson used to be a Congressman, I think -- no relation to THE Simpsons, so far as I know -- and he was reduced to saying, "Before they check on Karl Rove, they ought to check on poor old BOB NOVAK" [SIC].
Bob's NOT poor, and he's six months older.
A textbook definition of psychosis:
The father of one of the hijackers who commandeered the first plane that crashed into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, praised the recent terror attacks in London and said many more would follow.
But a mental case who looks after his own:
When asked if he would allow a CNN crew to videotape another interview with him, el-Amir said he would give his permission -- for a price of $5,000.
That money, he said, would not be kept for himself, but would be donated to someone to carry out another terror attack.
El-Amir said that $5,000 was about how much it would cost to finance another attack in London.
It is CNN policy not to pay people for interviews.
TIME WARNER DIDN'T PAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
P. S.
The security guard for the apartment building said el-Amir had been under surveillance by Egyptian agents for several months after the September 11 attacks, but no one had been watching him recently.
Someone should; soon he'll be walking the streets naked and setting fire to houses.
The father of one of the hijackers who commandeered the first plane that crashed into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, praised the recent terror attacks in London and said many more would follow.
But a mental case who looks after his own:
When asked if he would allow a CNN crew to videotape another interview with him, el-Amir said he would give his permission -- for a price of $5,000.
That money, he said, would not be kept for himself, but would be donated to someone to carry out another terror attack.
El-Amir said that $5,000 was about how much it would cost to finance another attack in London.
It is CNN policy not to pay people for interviews.
TIME WARNER DIDN'T PAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
P. S.
The security guard for the apartment building said el-Amir had been under surveillance by Egyptian agents for several months after the September 11 attacks, but no one had been watching him recently.
Someone should; soon he'll be walking the streets naked and setting fire to houses.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Speaking of FAKE -- and SENATORS:
"In Washington, I work with boobs every day."
We know all about boobs, senator. That's how you and your fellow high priests view US. We know all about your sense of humor too: your funniest jokes came with THE KEATING FIVE.
And a big no-thank-you to THE DEWWWB for linking to this.
"In Washington, I work with boobs every day."
We know all about boobs, senator. That's how you and your fellow high priests view US. We know all about your sense of humor too: your funniest jokes came with THE KEATING FIVE.
And a big no-thank-you to THE DEWWWB for linking to this.
What do this story about comic-book cultist imbeciles and this story about how movies are going to hell have in common?
Beats me.
P. S. Bill is rehearsing for a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award.
Beats me.
P. S. Bill is rehearsing for a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award.
Our favorite overbusted model's at it again:
Anna Nicole Smith continues to live up to her reputation as a party girl.
The former reality-TV star stunned crowds with her outrageous behavior in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina recently. "She entered a wet T-shirt contest at a club called Freaky Tiki and exposed herself and got into a loud fight with some guy everyone says is her boyfriend," a source tells The Scoop.
Fans were buzzing about Anna’s antics on her Web site. "I just want to tell all y'all out there in Anna land that all this stuff is true because I saw . . . it with my own 2 eyes!!!!!!!!" one person posted. [You may not have two eyes after seeing her. --ED.] "She is there with her boyfriend and his friends and family. She was wandering aimlessly around [a] house looking for [pills]. Her boyfriend kept telling her to quit."
Quit? NEVER!
Anna Nicole Smith continues to live up to her reputation as a party girl.
The former reality-TV star stunned crowds with her outrageous behavior in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina recently. "She entered a wet T-shirt contest at a club called Freaky Tiki and exposed herself and got into a loud fight with some guy everyone says is her boyfriend," a source tells The Scoop.
Fans were buzzing about Anna’s antics on her Web site. "I just want to tell all y'all out there in Anna land that all this stuff is true because I saw . . . it with my own 2 eyes!!!!!!!!" one person posted. [You may not have two eyes after seeing her. --ED.] "She is there with her boyfriend and his friends and family. She was wandering aimlessly around [a] house looking for [pills]. Her boyfriend kept telling her to quit."
Quit? NEVER!
Roman Polanski was unable to tell the truth when it mattered, lawyers said on Tuesday in a libel trial in which the film director is testifying via video link from Paris.
The 71-year-old is suing publishers of Vanity Fair magazine for a 2002 article which alleged he tried to seduce a "Swedish beauty" while on the way to his slain wife's funeral in 1969....
Polanski has admitted in court to having sex with a woman within one month of Tate's death, and within four months of the murder seeking solace in sex with "nubile" teenagers from finishing school in Gstaad, Switzerland.
We may wonder if such hot stuff is capable of telling the truth.
Vanity Fair said the gist of the article is true, and intends to call LEWIS LAPHAM, the source of the Polanski anecdote, to the witness stand. Polanski denies it ever took place.
YOU'VE LOST THE CASE!
The 71-year-old is suing publishers of Vanity Fair magazine for a 2002 article which alleged he tried to seduce a "Swedish beauty" while on the way to his slain wife's funeral in 1969....
Polanski has admitted in court to having sex with a woman within one month of Tate's death, and within four months of the murder seeking solace in sex with "nubile" teenagers from finishing school in Gstaad, Switzerland.
We may wonder if such hot stuff is capable of telling the truth.
Vanity Fair said the gist of the article is true, and intends to call LEWIS LAPHAM, the source of the Polanski anecdote, to the witness stand. Polanski denies it ever took place.
YOU'VE LOST THE CASE!
Bush said to be close to Supreme Court decision
Wanna bet it's AG WHO? anyway?
Manuel Miranda, head of the Third Branch Conference, a coalition of about 200 conservative groups, said if [Judge Edith] Clement [a 5th Circuit judge and an allegedly leading name] is the nominee, "the president is playing it safe."
"Edith Clement has practically no paper trail," Miranda said, noting that she has been on the federal appeals court since only 2001.
"She is a conservative, and she would be acceptable," Miranda said. "But she doesn't have a clear record on a number of issues, and has caused some concerns on religious liberty issues."
Remember DAVID SOUTER? Be careful what you wish for....
Wanna bet it's AG WHO? anyway?
Manuel Miranda, head of the Third Branch Conference, a coalition of about 200 conservative groups, said if [Judge Edith] Clement [a 5th Circuit judge and an allegedly leading name] is the nominee, "the president is playing it safe."
"Edith Clement has practically no paper trail," Miranda said, noting that she has been on the federal appeals court since only 2001.
"She is a conservative, and she would be acceptable," Miranda said. "But she doesn't have a clear record on a number of issues, and has caused some concerns on religious liberty issues."
Remember DAVID SOUTER? Be careful what you wish for....
MORE than a quarter of a million failed asylum-seekers are still living in Britain, despite the Government’s drive to increase the number of removals.
It would appear The Permanently Adolescent PM doesn't care much about this either.
It would appear The Permanently Adolescent PM doesn't care much about this either.
I think I see the M.O. for today: news hacks chirping and skipping and smiling, "WE LOST THE WAR IN VIETNAM! HA HA HA HA!!" But to quote again Ronald Reagan's stirring words, "There is a lesson for us all in Vietnam...let us tell those who fought that war that we will never again ask young men to fight and possibly die in a war that our government is afraid to let them win." Gen. Westmoreland may not have been the best commander, but it wasn't his fault.
Monday, July 18, 2005
The ESRB...with all of the resources of the $10 billion video game industry at its disposal, still can't seem to figure it out. Or maybe they just don't want to. Or perhaps they aren't allowed to. Or perhaps they have but they're just not telling us. In light of the ESRB's utter failure to live up to its responsibilities in this fiasco, there are only two conclusions that can be reached:
- the ESRB has the most incompetent investigators this side of the Keystone Kops
or
- the ESRB's "watchdog" role is irretrievably compromised by their lack of accountability to anyone but the video game industry
or
- all of the above
Whichever answer you choose, this fatally flawed system must change.
Fat chance. DR. EVIL STILL RULES THE LAND.
- the ESRB has the most incompetent investigators this side of the Keystone Kops
or
- the ESRB's "watchdog" role is irretrievably compromised by their lack of accountability to anyone but the video game industry
or
- all of the above
Whichever answer you choose, this fatally flawed system must change.
Fat chance. DR. EVIL STILL RULES THE LAND.
And speaking of show-biz, here's A GREAT CAREER MOVE:
Jude Law publicly apologized to his actress-fiancee, Sienna Miller, expressing his ''sincere regret'' over an affair with one of his children's nanny [SIC]....
Earlier this year, Miller said she and Law were in no hurry to tie the knot. "I'm not going to get married this year," she was quoted as telling reporters in February. "There's no rush, we're just happy to be engaged."
Take your time!
Jude Law publicly apologized to his actress-fiancee, Sienna Miller, expressing his ''sincere regret'' over an affair with one of his children's nanny [SIC]....
Earlier this year, Miller said she and Law were in no hurry to tie the knot. "I'm not going to get married this year," she was quoted as telling reporters in February. "There's no rush, we're just happy to be engaged."
Take your time!
Perhaps, Roger L. Simon, this explains the demise of an "indie" movie:
It's easy to get fooled by the surface of Kwik Stop—the semi-deadpan tone to some scenes; the debt to road-movie iconography—you think that you've seen its like before. It takes a while to realize that this is a road movie in which nobody goes anywhere—at least nowhere they want to go.
We've seen it before, and nobody goes anywhere. Sounds like a scintillating movie! For the umpteenth time, guys, MOVIES STINK because our culture stinks, our education stinks, our shores aren't being flooded by brilliant immigrants, it isn't a new medium anymore -- and we've all become too self-centered for inspiration to happen, except for STINKIER MOVIES.
It's easy to get fooled by the surface of Kwik Stop—the semi-deadpan tone to some scenes; the debt to road-movie iconography—you think that you've seen its like before. It takes a while to realize that this is a road movie in which nobody goes anywhere—at least nowhere they want to go.
We've seen it before, and nobody goes anywhere. Sounds like a scintillating movie! For the umpteenth time, guys, MOVIES STINK because our culture stinks, our education stinks, our shores aren't being flooded by brilliant immigrants, it isn't a new medium anymore -- and we've all become too self-centered for inspiration to happen, except for STINKIER MOVIES.
OH oh, rumblings from ROMY again -- and from the upper clouds of ST. WARREN'S HEAVEN:
"Why did we promise limited confidentiality to someone who we knew, or had strong reason to believe, was continuing to commit crimes, and what role did the fact that we were preparing to write a story about him have in egging him on to even more spectacular feats? What are our obligations as journalists and citizens in a situation like this?"
I don't know what obligations you have as citizens -- seems to me your only obligations are to hog the limelight and the dough -- but I do know as JERNALISTS you're SUPPOSED to be APPRECIATIVE of ART.
Or as the omBUUUUUUUUDSman BURPS:
Some people simply don't like feature stories about alleged criminals, terrorists, insurgents or other miscreants because they feel such stories often are "sympathetic" or "glorify" the subject or deed.
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, could be!
"Why did we promise limited confidentiality to someone who we knew, or had strong reason to believe, was continuing to commit crimes, and what role did the fact that we were preparing to write a story about him have in egging him on to even more spectacular feats? What are our obligations as journalists and citizens in a situation like this?"
I don't know what obligations you have as citizens -- seems to me your only obligations are to hog the limelight and the dough -- but I do know as JERNALISTS you're SUPPOSED to be APPRECIATIVE of ART.
Or as the omBUUUUUUUUDSman BURPS:
Some people simply don't like feature stories about alleged criminals, terrorists, insurgents or other miscreants because they feel such stories often are "sympathetic" or "glorify" the subject or deed.
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, could be!
Another one of the PAPER OF RE-CORD's show-biz spinmeisters insists the Christian audience is jes folks -- they watch the same crappy movies everyone else does.
I can believe it -- many of them are con-SER-va-tive -- but I have trouble believing a factotum for Reed Elsevier, the company that publishes the weekly press-release anthology VARIETY. I also have trouble believing him when his division's Web site lists the LATEST VARIETY headlines -- ALL FROM MID-MARCH.
I can believe it -- many of them are con-SER-va-tive -- but I have trouble believing a factotum for Reed Elsevier, the company that publishes the weekly press-release anthology VARIETY. I also have trouble believing him when his division's Web site lists the LATEST VARIETY headlines -- ALL FROM MID-MARCH.
Ten days after Islamic radicals carried out deadly attacks on the London transport system, Britain's largest Sunni Muslim group on Sunday issued a binding religious edict, a fatwa, condemning the July 7 suicide bombings as the work of a "perverted ideology."
Well, MAYBE we won't have to think that.
Well, MAYBE we won't have to think that.
Meantime, while news hacks gleefully spread THAT profound truth, we learn three of the HOLY COCKROACHES of LONDON visited PAKISTAN.
Y'all come back now, hear?
Y'all come back now, hear?
THE REUT DOES IT AGAIN:
Backing the United States in Iraq has put Britain more at risk from terror attacks, an influential British think tank said Monday....
"The U.K. is at particular risk because it is the closest ally of the United States," the security experts said in the report from the Royal Institute of International Affairs, commonly known here as Chatham House.
OR:
Here returned to print, at a timely moment in history, is Elie Kedourie's classic study of the Middle East in modern times. In analyzing British failures in the region during the zenith of their power and influence, Mr. Kedourie attributes much of Britain's faulty and disastrous handling of Middle East problems to what he calls "the Chatham House version." It was a view of Middle Eastern history and politics propounded and propagated in the various publications of the Royal Institute of International Affairs (known popularly as Chatham House), written or edited by Arnold Toynbee. The episodes that Mr. Kedourie investigates show "successive and cumulative manifestations of illusion, misjudgment, maladroitness, and failure." Together they point up hard lessons for the Bush administration or any outside power that would intervene in Middle Eastern affairs.
BIG CAVEAT: Amazon.com features endorsements from the usual gang of idiots. That said, I'd sooner trust a publisher's spiel than THE REUT.
P. S. A New Criterion "Note" on the book.
Backing the United States in Iraq has put Britain more at risk from terror attacks, an influential British think tank said Monday....
"The U.K. is at particular risk because it is the closest ally of the United States," the security experts said in the report from the Royal Institute of International Affairs, commonly known here as Chatham House.
OR:
Here returned to print, at a timely moment in history, is Elie Kedourie's classic study of the Middle East in modern times. In analyzing British failures in the region during the zenith of their power and influence, Mr. Kedourie attributes much of Britain's faulty and disastrous handling of Middle East problems to what he calls "the Chatham House version." It was a view of Middle Eastern history and politics propounded and propagated in the various publications of the Royal Institute of International Affairs (known popularly as Chatham House), written or edited by Arnold Toynbee. The episodes that Mr. Kedourie investigates show "successive and cumulative manifestations of illusion, misjudgment, maladroitness, and failure." Together they point up hard lessons for the Bush administration or any outside power that would intervene in Middle Eastern affairs.
BIG CAVEAT: Amazon.com features endorsements from the usual gang of idiots. That said, I'd sooner trust a publisher's spiel than THE REUT.
P. S. A New Criterion "Note" on the book.
But retailers also began to lower their prices almost immediately and in one case offered earlier customers partial refunds, signaling that millions of copies remain available in bookstores, warehouses and used-book outlets.
TRANSLATION: I think there'll be an awful lot of RECYCLING going on soon!
TRANSLATION: I think there'll be an awful lot of RECYCLING going on soon!
This remarkable article (remarkable for having run in the LALATIMES -- and for having RUN AT ALL) and Mr. Pipes's blast of the BRITS have something in common: they point to an unwillingness to tackle menaces in society for no better reason than that we may HURT somebody. [C]RAPPERS are "cockroaches." There's an analogy! Okay, so how do we take care of cockroaches? With LITERACY. So we educate ourselves in cockroaches, know the various breeds, how they procreate, how many baby cockroaches they breed, where they live, where they eat, where they go to the toilet, how often they go to the toilet, how they spread diseases by going to the toilet, maybe we even begin to try to UNDERSTAND them -- and meantime while we're busy doing all this LITERACY our living space CRAWLS WITH COCKROACHES. The Brits did the same thing with THEIRS, and look what it got them -- 55 dead in London. So long as we take the attitude that we should confront evil with the equivalent of homeopathy, administered in a spirit of abject apology, we can expect the inevitable "PAYBACK."
In New York State, when it comes to health coverage for the poor, to quote Ronald Reagan, wehell, I guess we've HIT THE JACKPOT.
[A]fter being informed of The Times's findings, the Republican majority in the State Senate began a push recently to overhaul the system intended to protect Medicaid, which has been sharply reduced even as Gov. George E. Pataki and lawmakers have nearly doubled the program's budget over the last decade. The Democratic majority in the Assembly has remained on the sidelines. So has Mr. Pataki.
On the sidelines? HE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!
"Got a Medicaid card?" one of the men shouted one day last November. "Come in and get your free CD player right now!"
Hey Dubya! That's an idea! (Brand names only, please.)
[A]fter being informed of The Times's findings, the Republican majority in the State Senate began a push recently to overhaul the system intended to protect Medicaid, which has been sharply reduced even as Gov. George E. Pataki and lawmakers have nearly doubled the program's budget over the last decade. The Democratic majority in the Assembly has remained on the sidelines. So has Mr. Pataki.
On the sidelines? HE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!!
"Got a Medicaid card?" one of the men shouted one day last November. "Come in and get your free CD player right now!"
Hey Dubya! That's an idea! (Brand names only, please.)
And here I think USAOKAY!!!!!'s becoming decent -- I've linked to it three times thus far -- and here they go and run their typical PR and more PR.
NEUHARTHISM LIVES. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.
NEUHARTHISM LIVES. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.
The Einsteins who unleashed their social engineering on us these last few decades have made it much more likely kids will grow up as basket cases.
But that's what social engineering is all about -- so it can SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS.
The USA has the lowest percentage among Western nations of children who grow up with both biological parents, 63%, the report says.
I wonder if the TWIN TOWERS of QUACKDOM, psychologists and NEWS HACKS, can find a silver lining in THAT.
But that's what social engineering is all about -- so it can SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS.
The USA has the lowest percentage among Western nations of children who grow up with both biological parents, 63%, the report says.
I wonder if the TWIN TOWERS of QUACKDOM, psychologists and NEWS HACKS, can find a silver lining in THAT.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL GETS HIS REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!
I'd be careful though about throwing out those buggy computers. Unless you remove the hard drive you may have something worse than mere spyware -- like an invitation to identity theft.
I'd be careful though about throwing out those buggy computers. Unless you remove the hard drive you may have something worse than mere spyware -- like an invitation to identity theft.
The Congresspoops' favorite fuel has a -- side effect:
Farmers, businesses and state officials are investing millions of dollars in ethanol and biofuel plants as renewable energy sources, but a new study says the alternative fuels burn more energy than they produce.
I don't know -- doesn't all the GAS they produce equal the score?
Farmers, businesses and state officials are investing millions of dollars in ethanol and biofuel plants as renewable energy sources, but a new study says the alternative fuels burn more energy than they produce.
I don't know -- doesn't all the GAS they produce equal the score?
When a new Jack or Bob or Mike station enters a market, there tends to be a spike in ratings. But according to a new study by the ratings service Arbitron and Edison Media Research, Jack and Bob face two problematic trends. At many such stations the audience size has diminished as the novelty of the format wears off, and the time each person spends listening to the station - an important statistic for advertisers - is fairly low, suggesting that people tune in for the fun of the songs but tune out in a short time for what other stations offer: on-air personalities and local news, perhaps.
"What you end up with is a lifeless station," said Robert Unmacht, a consultant at iN3 Partners in Nashville.
Or in CHEAP CHANNEL speak:
WE DON'T MAKE MONEY FROM ANNOUNCERS! WE MAKE MONEY FROM ADS! WHO CARES IF THE STATION'S LIFELESS -- SO LONG AS THERE'S LIFE IN THEM ADS!!!!!
"What you end up with is a lifeless station," said Robert Unmacht, a consultant at iN3 Partners in Nashville.
Or in CHEAP CHANNEL speak:
WE DON'T MAKE MONEY FROM ANNOUNCERS! WE MAKE MONEY FROM ADS! WHO CARES IF THE STATION'S LIFELESS -- SO LONG AS THERE'S LIFE IN THEM ADS!!!!!
OH oh, in Useless News' mammoth plug for JKCORP the man who says unadulterated TIME WARNER is a PANACEA may not be as GUNG-HO as he USED to be:
[N]ew forms of media undoubtedly have some benefits, says Steven Johnson, author of Everything Bad Is Good for You. Video games improve problem-solving skills; TV shows promote mental gymnastics by forcing viewers to follow intertwining story lines. But books offer experience that can't be gained from these other sources, from building vocabulary to stretching the imagination. "If they're not reading at all," says Johnson, "that's a huge problem."
You mean they can't stretch their imaginations with HOT COFFEE?!?!?
[N]ew forms of media undoubtedly have some benefits, says Steven Johnson, author of Everything Bad Is Good for You. Video games improve problem-solving skills; TV shows promote mental gymnastics by forcing viewers to follow intertwining story lines. But books offer experience that can't be gained from these other sources, from building vocabulary to stretching the imagination. "If they're not reading at all," says Johnson, "that's a huge problem."
You mean they can't stretch their imaginations with HOT COFFEE?!?!?
I'm not sure I appreciate megachurches. To me they're not so much about God as cheerleading: the loud bad music, the video screens and walls, the production values, the pep-rally chants, the "preachers" screaming at the top of their lungs an anodyne gospel that is less Jesus than prosperity, and less the Bible's word than Dale Carnegie's. Robert "Touchy-Feely" Schuller runs one of the biggest megachurches, but its smiley face and happy attitudes somehow did not prevent the pastor from getting into an impromptu religious war with a flight attendant, or his musical director from barricading himself in an office and killing himself. I wonder if the hordes who attend megachuches leave their "services" any different than they entered, or if it's just some sort of easy way to get 100 percent of your spiritual vitamins -- Total for the soul.
P. S. Who sits in the luxury boxes?
P. P. S. Yes yes, I know, Billy Sunday did the same thing; he had Al Jolson help him out. Who remembers Billy Sunday as anything but the leading begetter of Prohibition and a fount of catch phrases?
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES. We can no longer expect serious, adult news coverage from anyone. All we get are the three P's -- POUTING, PUFFERY AND PIFFLE.
I have not paid much mind to the Grand Theft Auto controversy figuring it was just another excuse for SENATORS to preen, and as such would hand a silver-platter victory to the biz, but I've a hunch Take Two did it on purpose, much as VIACON did Ms. Boob's stunt on purpose, and if a great video-game company's forced to go under -- well, tough bupkis. Not that it will, but it's nice to dream.
As for the notion hackers did it, this is disingenuous; practically any digital device or software can be privately hacked, and if anyone video-game cretins -- er, creators surely know that, further strengthening the notion somebody did this on purpose.
Amazing too that a game famous for encouraging crime should get in trouble over sex. But that's SENATORS.
P. S. When choosing between the honorable and the dishonorable thing, SHOW-BIZ TYPES ALWAYS CHOOSE THE DISHONORABLE.
P. P. S. I've added GameSpot News to my favorites list.
As for the notion hackers did it, this is disingenuous; practically any digital device or software can be privately hacked, and if anyone video-game cretins -- er, creators surely know that, further strengthening the notion somebody did this on purpose.
Amazing too that a game famous for encouraging crime should get in trouble over sex. But that's SENATORS.
P. S. When choosing between the honorable and the dishonorable thing, SHOW-BIZ TYPES ALWAYS CHOOSE THE DISHONORABLE.
P. P. S. I've added GameSpot News to my favorites list.
The CONSPIRACY and BILL: potentially the greatest partnership since HITLER and STALIN.
Of course Hitler invaded Russia. These folk are shrewder.
Of course Hitler invaded Russia. These folk are shrewder.
I suppose this is a new star, and I suppose she's conventionally pretty, but there's something about this face -- or at least this face in this photo -- that's off-putting. Maybe it's the vague resemblance to THE MAN, but it's more than that. To repeat myself, the great faces of the past had...something. Consider: this starlet's blonde, and pretty (I suppose), but think MM, and all comparison ends. If this is the best H-wood can do, maybe it should stick to pro-terrorist propaganda.
Even when Paul Allen wins, he loses.
So poor is Allen's investment record that in recent years he has become better known for losing one-third of his $30 billion net worth than he has for co-founding Microsoft.
Hold on to your wallet, BUGMEISTER BILL!
And this zillionaire schlepp co-financed DREAMWORKS KGB. That's not looking so hot either.
So poor is Allen's investment record that in recent years he has become better known for losing one-third of his $30 billion net worth than he has for co-founding Microsoft.
Hold on to your wallet, BUGMEISTER BILL!
And this zillionaire schlepp co-financed DREAMWORKS KGB. That's not looking so hot either.
What can be done about the Hollywood brain? And where are those Martian attackers when you really need them?
Answer to the first question: SURGERY; answer to the second question -- GOOD QUESTION!
Answer to the first question: SURGERY; answer to the second question -- GOOD QUESTION!
TOILETBOWL expresses an opinion:
Do you know anyone who doesn't have an opinion about the war in Iraq? Anyone who doesn't believe it's either wonderfully noble or tragically foolish? Then you may be surprised by "Over There," a new drama series that debuts July 27. It's about a squad of American soldiers on the front lines in Iraq, and it bends over backward not to express any opinion whatsoever about the conflict. You can understand the kid-gloves approach, since "Over There" —unlike "M*A*S*H" or "China Beach"—is about an ongoing conflict, and a controversial one. But there's something odd about a war drama with no point of view other than praising the grunts in the field. Without a strong perspective, "Over There" turns out to be largely bloodless.
Speak for yourself! TOILETBOWL bends over backward to appear bloodless, but it has an opinion -- it has the same opinion, week after week after week. Our brave writer may have been trying to put a fine face on his magazine, but beneath it, we know what lurks -- A DIRTY TOILET.
P. S. For the millionth time -- RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is NOT a CONSERVATIVE.
Do you know anyone who doesn't have an opinion about the war in Iraq? Anyone who doesn't believe it's either wonderfully noble or tragically foolish? Then you may be surprised by "Over There," a new drama series that debuts July 27. It's about a squad of American soldiers on the front lines in Iraq, and it bends over backward not to express any opinion whatsoever about the conflict. You can understand the kid-gloves approach, since "Over There" —unlike "M*A*S*H" or "China Beach"—is about an ongoing conflict, and a controversial one. But there's something odd about a war drama with no point of view other than praising the grunts in the field. Without a strong perspective, "Over There" turns out to be largely bloodless.
Speak for yourself! TOILETBOWL bends over backward to appear bloodless, but it has an opinion -- it has the same opinion, week after week after week. Our brave writer may have been trying to put a fine face on his magazine, but beneath it, we know what lurks -- A DIRTY TOILET.
P. S. For the millionth time -- RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is NOT a CONSERVATIVE.