THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Saturday, August 12, 2006
'At the risk of being called a paranoid conspiracy theory freak....'
This has to be the DUMBEST thing typed into a blog since B. S. DEFENDER defended B. S.
This has to be the DUMBEST thing typed into a blog since B. S. DEFENDER defended B. S.
The permanent adolescent Tony prepares to hide under his desk, where he seems to feel most comfortable.
OR:
There is no point denying that our closeness to the United States is probably one reason why Britain was chosen. Al-Qaeda would regard the murder of thousands of people flying between the two allies as a propaganda triumph. Across the Muslim world the streets would fill with crowds celebrating the carnage.
How long do our "leaders" take the OSTRICH approach?
David Cameron and Gordon Brown must step forward to give Britain leadership.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
OR:
There is no point denying that our closeness to the United States is probably one reason why Britain was chosen. Al-Qaeda would regard the murder of thousands of people flying between the two allies as a propaganda triumph. Across the Muslim world the streets would fill with crowds celebrating the carnage.
How long do our "leaders" take the OSTRICH approach?
David Cameron and Gordon Brown must step forward to give Britain leadership.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
[W]hatever the final image, Hizballah will have lost substantial ground militarily. It will be forced to cede control of southern Lebanon to the Lebanese Army, which it had previously resisted, and will have seen much of its capability to strike Israel with missiles neutered. The political path ahead remains perilous for a movement now forced to choose between its identity as an anti-Israel resistance and as a Lebanese political party and social movement. Although Hizballah won't put down its weapons immediately, the pressure to do so — or, at least, to put them under the control of the Lebanese Army — will soon be overwhelming. And to the extent that Iran had relied on Hizballah's rocket capability in southern Lebanon to help deter U.S. or Israeli attacks against its nuclear facilities, full implementation of the cease-fire will have weakened Tehran's deterrent.
To the rag that brought us Strobe Talbott, we shall see.
To the rag that brought us Strobe Talbott, we shall see.
When I started blogging I posted THE MASTER's words, "No one but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." I'm tired of typing into the ether, and lately I have started rewriting my literary masterpiece in the forlorn and senseless hope I can write for money. I know the megalomaniacs I'm up against, and I know the hopelessness of making a name for myself, and I'd really like to stop blogging altogether. But how?
And since ST. WARREN'S RAG must mention it:
Preamble
Members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by seeking truth and providing a fair and comprehensive account of events and issues. Conscientious journalists from all media and specialties strive to serve the public with thoroughness and honesty. Professional integrity is the cornerstone of a journalist's credibility. Members of the Society share a dedication to ethical behavior and adopt this code to declare the Society's principles and standards of practice.
Seek Truth and Report It
Journalists should be honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting information.
Journalists should:
— Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. [This clause has since been repealed by "Fake, But Accurate."]
— Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing.
— Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources' reliability. [This clause has since been repealed by Woodstein and The Paper of Re-CORD.]
— Always question sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Clarify conditions attached to any promise made in exchange for information. Keep promises.
— Make certain that headlines, news teases and promotional material, photos, video, audio, graphics, sound bites and quotations do not misrepresent. They should not oversimplify or highlight incidents out of context. [This clause has since been repealed by local TV news shows.]
— Never distort the content of news photos or video. [This clause has since been repealed by Reuters.] Image enhancement for technical clarity is always permissible. Label montages and photo illustrations.
— Avoid misleading re-enactments or staged news events. If re-enactment is necessary to tell a story, label it. [This clause has since been repealed by NBC Dateline.]
— Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public. Use of such methods should be explained as part of the story
— Never plagiarize. [This clause has since been repealed by Jayson Blair.]
— Tell the story of the diversity and magnitude of the human experience boldly, even when it is unpopular to do so.
— Examine their own cultural values and avoid imposing those values on others. [This clause has been repealed by LOONEY-RIGHT BIGOTED NAZI CONSERVATIVES, REPUBLICANS AND CHRISTIANS.]
— Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status.
— Support the open exchange of views, even views they find repugnant. [This clause has since been repealed by THE LORD GOD PINCH.]
— Give voice to the voiceless; official and unofficial sources of information can be equally valid.
— Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. [This clause has since been repealed by Dan Rather.] Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context. [This clause has since been repealed by The Paper of Re-CORD and The Washington Post.]
— Distinguish news from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between the two. [This clause has since been repealed by Al Neuharth.]
— Recognize a special obligation to ensure that the public's business is conducted in the open and that government records are open to inspection. [This clause does not apply to the news industry, or any industry related thereto.]
Minimize Harm
[This clause has since been repealed by Bill Keller.]
Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect.
Journalists should:
— Show compassion for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Use special sensitivity when dealing with children and inexperienced sources or subjects.
— Be sensitive when seeking or using interviews or photographs of those affected by tragedy or grief.
— Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance. [This clause has since been repealed by Ben Bradlee, with additional repealing by Howell Raines.]
— Recognize that private people have a greater right to control information about themselves than do public officials and others who seek power, influence or attention. Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy.
— Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity. [This clause has since been repealed by celebrity news gatherers.]
— Be cautious about identifying juvenile suspects or victims of sex crimes.
— Be judicious about naming criminal suspects before the formal filing of charges.
— Balance a criminal suspect’s fair trial rights with the public’s right to be informed.
Act Independently
[This clause was repealed when it was discovered reporters emit as much methane as cows.]
Journalists should be free of obligation to any interest other than the public's right to know. [This clause has since been repealed by SYNERGY.]
Journalists should:
— Avoid conflicts of interest, real or perceived. [This clause has since been repealed by every show-biz reporter in America.]
— Remain free of associations and activities that may compromise integrity or damage credibility.
— Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity.
— Disclose unavoidable conflicts. [This clause has since been repealed by Howie Hairshirt and Roger Ebert.]
— Be vigilant and courageous about holding those with power accountable. [This clause is not applicable when Democrats are in power.]
— Deny favored treatment to advertisers and special interests and resist their pressure to influence news coverage. [This clause has since been repealed by REALTORS®.]
— Be wary of sources offering information for favors or money; avoid bidding for news. [This clause has since been repealed by People Magazine.]
Be Accountable
Journalists are accountable to their readers, listeners, viewers and each other. [This clause has since been repealed by Byron Calame.]
Journalists should:
— Clarify and explain news coverage and invite dialogue with the public over journalistic conduct.
— Encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media.
— Admit mistakes and correct them promptly.
— Expose unethical practices of journalists and the news media.
— Abide by the same high standards to which they hold others.
The SPJ Code of Ethics is voluntarily embraced by thousands of
writers, editors and other news professionals. The present version of
the code was adopted by the 1996 SPJ National Convention, after months
of study and debate among the Society's members.
Sigma Delta Chi's first Code of Ethics was borrowed from the
American Society of Newspaper Editors in 1926. In 1973, Sigma Delta Chi
wrote its own code, which was revised in 1984, 1987 and 1996.
Never a day goes by that news hacks prove they can do without a code of ethics.
Preamble
Members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by seeking truth and providing a fair and comprehensive account of events and issues. Conscientious journalists from all media and specialties strive to serve the public with thoroughness and honesty. Professional integrity is the cornerstone of a journalist's credibility. Members of the Society share a dedication to ethical behavior and adopt this code to declare the Society's principles and standards of practice.
Seek Truth and Report It
Journalists should be honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting information.
Journalists should:
— Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. [This clause has since been repealed by "Fake, But Accurate."]
— Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing.
— Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources' reliability. [This clause has since been repealed by Woodstein and The Paper of Re-CORD.]
— Always question sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Clarify conditions attached to any promise made in exchange for information. Keep promises.
— Make certain that headlines, news teases and promotional material, photos, video, audio, graphics, sound bites and quotations do not misrepresent. They should not oversimplify or highlight incidents out of context. [This clause has since been repealed by local TV news shows.]
— Never distort the content of news photos or video. [This clause has since been repealed by Reuters.] Image enhancement for technical clarity is always permissible. Label montages and photo illustrations.
— Avoid misleading re-enactments or staged news events. If re-enactment is necessary to tell a story, label it. [This clause has since been repealed by NBC Dateline.]
— Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public. Use of such methods should be explained as part of the story
— Never plagiarize. [This clause has since been repealed by Jayson Blair.]
— Tell the story of the diversity and magnitude of the human experience boldly, even when it is unpopular to do so.
— Examine their own cultural values and avoid imposing those values on others. [This clause has been repealed by LOONEY-RIGHT BIGOTED NAZI CONSERVATIVES, REPUBLICANS AND CHRISTIANS.]
— Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status.
— Support the open exchange of views, even views they find repugnant. [This clause has since been repealed by THE LORD GOD PINCH.]
— Give voice to the voiceless; official and unofficial sources of information can be equally valid.
— Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. [This clause has since been repealed by Dan Rather.] Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context. [This clause has since been repealed by The Paper of Re-CORD and The Washington Post.]
— Distinguish news from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between the two. [This clause has since been repealed by Al Neuharth.]
— Recognize a special obligation to ensure that the public's business is conducted in the open and that government records are open to inspection. [This clause does not apply to the news industry, or any industry related thereto.]
Minimize Harm
[This clause has since been repealed by Bill Keller.]
Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect.
Journalists should:
— Show compassion for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Use special sensitivity when dealing with children and inexperienced sources or subjects.
— Be sensitive when seeking or using interviews or photographs of those affected by tragedy or grief.
— Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance. [This clause has since been repealed by Ben Bradlee, with additional repealing by Howell Raines.]
— Recognize that private people have a greater right to control information about themselves than do public officials and others who seek power, influence or attention. Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy.
— Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity. [This clause has since been repealed by celebrity news gatherers.]
— Be cautious about identifying juvenile suspects or victims of sex crimes.
— Be judicious about naming criminal suspects before the formal filing of charges.
— Balance a criminal suspect’s fair trial rights with the public’s right to be informed.
Act Independently
[This clause was repealed when it was discovered reporters emit as much methane as cows.]
Journalists should be free of obligation to any interest other than the public's right to know. [This clause has since been repealed by SYNERGY.]
Journalists should:
— Avoid conflicts of interest, real or perceived. [This clause has since been repealed by every show-biz reporter in America.]
— Remain free of associations and activities that may compromise integrity or damage credibility.
— Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity.
— Disclose unavoidable conflicts. [This clause has since been repealed by Howie Hairshirt and Roger Ebert.]
— Be vigilant and courageous about holding those with power accountable. [This clause is not applicable when Democrats are in power.]
— Deny favored treatment to advertisers and special interests and resist their pressure to influence news coverage. [This clause has since been repealed by REALTORS®.]
— Be wary of sources offering information for favors or money; avoid bidding for news. [This clause has since been repealed by People Magazine.]
Be Accountable
Journalists are accountable to their readers, listeners, viewers and each other. [This clause has since been repealed by Byron Calame.]
Journalists should:
— Clarify and explain news coverage and invite dialogue with the public over journalistic conduct.
— Encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media.
— Admit mistakes and correct them promptly.
— Expose unethical practices of journalists and the news media.
— Abide by the same high standards to which they hold others.
The SPJ Code of Ethics is voluntarily embraced by thousands of
writers, editors and other news professionals. The present version of
the code was adopted by the 1996 SPJ National Convention, after months
of study and debate among the Society's members.
Sigma Delta Chi's first Code of Ethics was borrowed from the
American Society of Newspaper Editors in 1926. In 1973, Sigma Delta Chi
wrote its own code, which was revised in 1984, 1987 and 1996.
Never a day goes by that news hacks prove they can do without a code of ethics.
We're of two minds here: when Dubya can go off wherever without a cadre of pitbulling Helen Thomases that might be a good thing for the nation's sanity -- sort of like having Coolidge at the helm. But then we know Dubya's passion for show-offy secrecy. And then:
Patrice McDermott, director of OpenTheGovernment.org, a coalition formed three years ago that includes groups such as the American Library Association, Common Cause, the League of Women Voters and the Society of Professional Journalists [conservative outfits all, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh], called the changing pattern of coverage "quite disturbing" and part of a "rising tide of secrecy" in Washington.
And I think, if you folks don't like Dubya, and you don't, get yourselves a Democratic president. You never cease to try.
Patrice McDermott, director of OpenTheGovernment.org, a coalition formed three years ago that includes groups such as the American Library Association, Common Cause, the League of Women Voters and the Society of Professional Journalists [conservative outfits all, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh], called the changing pattern of coverage "quite disturbing" and part of a "rising tide of secrecy" in Washington.
And I think, if you folks don't like Dubya, and you don't, get yourselves a Democratic president. You never cease to try.
A Democrat in England:
ON THE streets of High Wycombe, where the police are searching a number of addresses in the anti-terrorist operation, a young Muslim called Amir denounced all talk of terrorism.
September 11, he declared, was not an act carried out by al-Qaeda suicide bombers. It had been proven to be the work of the United States Air Force.
In Birmingham, where police also arrested suspected Islamist terrorists, Mohammed Naseem, the chairman of the city’s central mosque, said that there was no proof that the July 7 bombers were British Muslims. This week’s arrests, he added, have left him saddened and annoyed.
“With the track record of the police, one doesn’t have much faith in the basis on which people are detained,” he said. “And it poses the question whether the arrests are part of a political objective, by using Muslims as a target, using the perception of terrorism to usurp all our civil liberties and get more and more control while moving towards a totalitarian state.”
Er, what happened three days ago?
ON THE streets of High Wycombe, where the police are searching a number of addresses in the anti-terrorist operation, a young Muslim called Amir denounced all talk of terrorism.
September 11, he declared, was not an act carried out by al-Qaeda suicide bombers. It had been proven to be the work of the United States Air Force.
In Birmingham, where police also arrested suspected Islamist terrorists, Mohammed Naseem, the chairman of the city’s central mosque, said that there was no proof that the July 7 bombers were British Muslims. This week’s arrests, he added, have left him saddened and annoyed.
“With the track record of the police, one doesn’t have much faith in the basis on which people are detained,” he said. “And it poses the question whether the arrests are part of a political objective, by using Muslims as a target, using the perception of terrorism to usurp all our civil liberties and get more and more control while moving towards a totalitarian state.”
Er, what happened three days ago?
Two clown acts from the crusaders at USAOKAY!!!!! in one page:
Coed Citadel still a work in progress The challenge of bringing women into the once all-male cadet corps isn't over.
No, battling with the forces of right and justice never is.
Coed Citadel still a work in progress The challenge of bringing women into the once all-male cadet corps isn't over.
No, battling with the forces of right and justice never is.
The crusaders at USAOKAY!!!!! note a few of their own:
Clown festival kicks off
You're clowns too, and you make us frown.
Clown festival kicks off
You're clowns too, and you make us frown.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Little Malcolm runs a press release for MySpace and Skype that proclaims them HOTHOTHOT!!!!!, and then by accident he includes a sidebar of quotes of all the companies that will supposedly benefit from these HOTHOTHOT!!!!! properties:
1. Apple: its options shenanigans prove the LORD GOD STEVE may be mortal.
2. Amazon.com: a good solid retailer -- but who wants to owns stock in retailers?
3. eBay: It was at $60 a share?
4. Google: We thought by now it would be $2 million a share. What gives? Click fraud?
5. IAC/InterActive: A fancy name for Home Shopping Network and TicketGouger. Barry Diller doesn't walk on water anymore. How many more times does he change the name of his second-rate -- portal?
6. Microsoft. Can it really go back to bubble mode overpricing Vista?
7. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If MySpace is so great how come Your stock hasn't gone anywhere lately?
8. THE TWXSTERS. Nuf said.
9. Yahoo! Even helping jail Chinese dissidents doesn't work that much.
When news hacks start talking HOTHOTHOT!!!!! about investments, watch your money. They did this before.
1. Apple: its options shenanigans prove the LORD GOD STEVE may be mortal.
2. Amazon.com: a good solid retailer -- but who wants to owns stock in retailers?
3. eBay: It was at $60 a share?
4. Google: We thought by now it would be $2 million a share. What gives? Click fraud?
5. IAC/InterActive: A fancy name for Home Shopping Network and TicketGouger. Barry Diller doesn't walk on water anymore. How many more times does he change the name of his second-rate -- portal?
6. Microsoft. Can it really go back to bubble mode overpricing Vista?
7. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If MySpace is so great how come Your stock hasn't gone anywhere lately?
8. THE TWXSTERS. Nuf said.
9. Yahoo! Even helping jail Chinese dissidents doesn't work that much.
When news hacks start talking HOTHOTHOT!!!!! about investments, watch your money. They did this before.
It sounds promising; let's hope no one wins a Nobel Peace Prize for this.
The Corner is of ten half-minds.
The Corner is of ten half-minds.
40 arrested in Rome [from MESS hed]
Nothing in the story -- THANKS, MESS! What DOES this mean?
Apparently this was related. The arrestees are all Pakistanis (surprise).
Nothing in the story -- THANKS, MESS! What DOES this mean?
Apparently this was related. The arrestees are all Pakistanis (surprise).
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!?
Vaughn Ververs has established himself as SUMNER's Byron Calame. FREEPERS and SAM LITTLES aside, the problem isn't that somebody wants to interview the Tantrum Thrower of Iran. Somebody should. The problem is MIKE WALLACE did it, and that he used the fellow zillionaire Ed Bradley's prostration before THE GOLFING MACHINE as his model. SUMNER's propaganda department has learned NOTHING from L'AFFAIRE BLATHER.
P. S. We entered "mike wallace chris senile" into Google and got at least two left-wing blogging effusions over Mike, QED. Has there ever been a time when BOTH sides exhibited more knee-jerk lock-step KLUMPH! KLUMPH! thinking?
P. S. We entered "mike wallace chris senile" into Google and got at least two left-wing blogging effusions over Mike, QED. Has there ever been a time when BOTH sides exhibited more knee-jerk lock-step KLUMPH! KLUMPH! thinking?
We are sorry to hear that Mike Douglas, a pleasant Kay Kyser vocalist ("The Old Lamplighter", "Ole Buttermilk Sky") who graduated to a solo career and ultimately his own long-lived syndicated talk show, has died. As a Philadelphian I would note the show never recovered from when he up and left for LA, where it disappeared. (But then he came to Philadelphia from Cleveland, of all places, so we weren't the only ones.) Oh well, he was a decent enough singer, and a decent man, and we forgive him.
Further proof that news hacks care not for anything before the sixties: the justly anonymous AP flack says he recorded the aforementioned songs in "the fifties." (Douglas introduced them when he replaced Harry Babbitt during the war.) Dimwit hacks.
(We temper this somewhat -- it appeared in the original story but has since been corrected.)
The noble crusading truth teller Elysa of USAOKAY!!!!! (hey prospective P-Ulitzer winners! Your public-service prize doesn't look so hot these days!) devotes 1,590 WORDS to PLUGGING MUSICAL GENIUS!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to ELYSA!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to ELYSA!
"There's no better place than Reuters to make you feel like a knucklehead."
If the writers feel like knuckleheads, in time the readers feel likewise.
REUTERS CORRECTED!
ASSOCIATED PRESS CORRECTED!!!!!
If the writers feel like knuckleheads, in time the readers feel likewise.
REUTERS CORRECTED!
ASSOCIATED PRESS CORRECTED!!!!!
A British intelligence official has told CNN that the original information about a plot to down commercial jetliners in mid-Atlantic with explosives came from a tip from the Muslim community in Britain.
That's a switch! Perhaps there are stirrings of conscience within Islam yet.
Now let's hope the brave soul isn't stoned to death.
That's a switch! Perhaps there are stirrings of conscience within Islam yet.
Now let's hope the brave soul isn't stoned to death.
Rance Crain:
The New York Times Co. says it will reduce the width of its flagship newspaper by one-and-a-half inches, resulting in a 5% decrease in its news space.
I have an idea how to get back some of that space: Do away with those tortured explanations of anonymous sources.
Pfhh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
The New York Times Co. says it will reduce the width of its flagship newspaper by one-and-a-half inches, resulting in a 5% decrease in its news space.
I have an idea how to get back some of that space: Do away with those tortured explanations of anonymous sources.
Pfhh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
And this actually appears on HollywoodReporter.com:
Paramount hopes timing is right for 'WTC's' bow
Uhhhh, sure.
Paramount hopes timing is right for 'WTC's' bow
Uhhhh, sure.
This actually appears on csmonitor.com:
Rock's green days
Bands are going green by using wind-power and bio-diesel, thus reducing their carbon footprint.
We will not comment except to say every Bllboard CD "smash" leaves a rather big footprint.
Rock's green days
Bands are going green by using wind-power and bio-diesel, thus reducing their carbon footprint.
We will not comment except to say every Bllboard CD "smash" leaves a rather big footprint.
Another foul-mouthed female blogger writes a roman à clef.
Honest, why must publishing houses look under rocks?
("A BESTSELLER!!!!!" It's no. 5 on Amazon.co.uk -- and no. 23,707 on Amazon.com. News hacks can be SO provincial.)
(Via ArtsJournal, which occasionally looks under rocks too)
Honest, why must publishing houses look under rocks?
("A BESTSELLER!!!!!" It's no. 5 on Amazon.co.uk -- and no. 23,707 on Amazon.com. News hacks can be SO provincial.)
(Via ArtsJournal, which occasionally looks under rocks too)
ESPNCorp is changing the name of its network's non-existent sports division to ESPN. (There's some strange alphabetic acronym stuck on at the end though -- we dont know what hieroglyphics THAT is.) Since these clowns always boast about how ESPN is the number-one profit center and price gouge in all American entertainment we wonder they haven't changed the name of the company, as I have.
LONG LIVE ESPNCORP! Dah-dah-dut! Dah-dah-dut! M-O-U-S-E!
(Via MediaBistro)
LONG LIVE ESPNCORP! Dah-dah-dut! Dah-dah-dut! M-O-U-S-E!
(Via MediaBistro)
A jernalist (and the son of a jernalist) writes a biography of the great A&R man John Hammond, and the reviewer, Mr. Keepnews (himself a record producer) offers a rare Paper-of-Re-CORD insight:
[O]nce his narrative enters the 1960’s — shortly after Mr. Hammond rejoined Columbia Records, where he had first made his mark as a producer, and began shifting his focus from jazz — Mr. Prial seems much more engaged than when writing about the musicians Mr. Hammond recorded in the 30’s. He understands that these earlier artists were important but has a hard time explaining why.
For example, he writes of Lionel Hampton: “His music alone was enough to startle even virtuoso musicians of Benny Goodman’s caliber. When Hampton’s mallets struck the metallic bars of the vibraharp, a spray of notes burst forth. And each one made perfect sense, one note following another impossibly fast but never forced.” A spray of notes? This is colorful writing, but it doesn’t shed very much light.
To the JERNALIST, anything before the sixties is not of HIS TIME. The hack still daydreams of the Napalm girl; that explains why on matters cultural other than today's ENTERTAINMENT GENIUS, he is hopelessly tongue-tied. He can make the usual condescending noises about great artists long in the past ("Gershwin was blahblahblahblah"), but his heart is not into it, and that's because he doesn't have a brain to go along.
[O]nce his narrative enters the 1960’s — shortly after Mr. Hammond rejoined Columbia Records, where he had first made his mark as a producer, and began shifting his focus from jazz — Mr. Prial seems much more engaged than when writing about the musicians Mr. Hammond recorded in the 30’s. He understands that these earlier artists were important but has a hard time explaining why.
For example, he writes of Lionel Hampton: “His music alone was enough to startle even virtuoso musicians of Benny Goodman’s caliber. When Hampton’s mallets struck the metallic bars of the vibraharp, a spray of notes burst forth. And each one made perfect sense, one note following another impossibly fast but never forced.” A spray of notes? This is colorful writing, but it doesn’t shed very much light.
To the JERNALIST, anything before the sixties is not of HIS TIME. The hack still daydreams of the Napalm girl; that explains why on matters cultural other than today's ENTERTAINMENT GENIUS, he is hopelessly tongue-tied. He can make the usual condescending noises about great artists long in the past ("Gershwin was blahblahblahblah"), but his heart is not into it, and that's because he doesn't have a brain to go along.
I'm beginning to wonder if the notion that Ned's victory presages Democratic disaster, credible though it is, isn't conservative CW. Maybe enough voters just want peace and quiet, and that's what Democrats promise, albeit the peace and quiet of the ostrich's head in the sand. We should not forget the Chickens -- er, the Spaniards got a terrorist bombing, and elected the looniest leftist leader this side of Fidel. Maybe the Dems can win with isolation and appeasement. It stretches credulity. So does history.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Old Advisors' Home Week stretches on into another week with Dick Holbrooke begging:
Every secretary of state from Henry Kissinger to Warren Christopher and Madeleine Albright negotiated with Syria, including those Republican icons George Shultz and James Baker. Why won't this administration follow suit (in full consultation with Israel, shhh) at every step?!?!? The same is true of talks with Iran!!!!! Please, PLEASE, NEGOTIATE!!!!! [Emphasis, parentheses and other words added]
There's a reason, Dick, people spoke of your ex-boss's LEGACY.
Every secretary of state from Henry Kissinger to Warren Christopher and Madeleine Albright negotiated with Syria, including those Republican icons George Shultz and James Baker. Why won't this administration follow suit (in full consultation with Israel, shhh) at every step?!?!? The same is true of talks with Iran!!!!! Please, PLEASE, NEGOTIATE!!!!! [Emphasis, parentheses and other words added]
There's a reason, Dick, people spoke of your ex-boss's LEGACY.
UNDER SUSPICION
These are the names of 19 suspects reportedly being held by the police after the foiled plot and whose assets the Treasury has sought to have frozen.
Umir Hussain, 24, London E14
Muhammed Usman Saddique, 24, London E17
Waheed Zaman, 22, London E17
Assan Abdullah Khan, 22, London E17
Waseem Kayani, 28, High Wycombe
Waheed Arafat Khan, 24, London E17
Cossor Ali, 24, London E17
Tayib Rauf, 21, Birmingham
Ibrahim Savant, 26, London E17
Osman Adam Khatib, 20, London E17
Shamin Mohammed Uddin, 36, Stoke Newington
Amin Asmin Tariq, 23, London E17
Shazad Khuram Ali, 27, High Wycombe
Tanvir Hussain, 24, London E10
Umar Islam, 28, (born Brian Young) High Wycombe
Assad Sarwar, 25, High Wycombe
Abdullah Ali, 26, London E17
Abdul Muneem Patel, 17, London E5
Nabeel Hussain, 21, Waltham Forest
TRANSLATION: Another Buddhist plot.
It sounds as though we were lucky to get this scum. We must hope though we can neutralize others of these cockroaches with more than luck.
P. S. Parliament may convene in emergency session; we wonder how much good that will do.
These are the names of 19 suspects reportedly being held by the police after the foiled plot and whose assets the Treasury has sought to have frozen.
Umir Hussain, 24, London E14
Muhammed Usman Saddique, 24, London E17
Waheed Zaman, 22, London E17
Assan Abdullah Khan, 22, London E17
Waseem Kayani, 28, High Wycombe
Waheed Arafat Khan, 24, London E17
Cossor Ali, 24, London E17
Tayib Rauf, 21, Birmingham
Ibrahim Savant, 26, London E17
Osman Adam Khatib, 20, London E17
Shamin Mohammed Uddin, 36, Stoke Newington
Amin Asmin Tariq, 23, London E17
Shazad Khuram Ali, 27, High Wycombe
Tanvir Hussain, 24, London E10
Umar Islam, 28, (born Brian Young) High Wycombe
Assad Sarwar, 25, High Wycombe
Abdullah Ali, 26, London E17
Abdul Muneem Patel, 17, London E5
Nabeel Hussain, 21, Waltham Forest
TRANSLATION: Another Buddhist plot.
It sounds as though we were lucky to get this scum. We must hope though we can neutralize others of these cockroaches with more than luck.
P. S. Parliament may convene in emergency session; we wonder how much good that will do.
Boy Witold, you've chosen some ugly buildings for your slideshow! (The Sydney Opera House, needless to say, not included.)
And one of them is our own RENDELLTORIUM!!!!! Now look at the building behind it. (This picture is not very good.) That's the Drake, a landmark from 1929. (Tiny apartments, but that's another story.) The Spanish mission style makes it great. What is our RENDELLTORIUM but a glorified quonset hut?
And one of them is our own RENDELLTORIUM!!!!! Now look at the building behind it. (This picture is not very good.) That's the Drake, a landmark from 1929. (Tiny apartments, but that's another story.) The Spanish mission style makes it great. What is our RENDELLTORIUM but a glorified quonset hut?
Sage advice for those facing the holy cockroaches:
John Reid's task, as he comes up on airport television screens, is to reassure the milling masses of grounded holidaymakers that the state has a grip of the situation. This is as much about tone and body language as about the precise words he uses.
The terrorist wants to hear the crack of uncertainty in his voice, and see a hesitation look in his eye. Reid is a good choice for this role. He has a natural authority.
My advice to him now would be to rein back his natural - occasionally splendid - aggression and use the quiet power of his voice to convey a solid competence. And I would advise him against rhetoric. Make no sweeping statements about the war on terrorism, arcs of extremism, axes of evil. This is what terrorists want to hear. It gives them status as ideological warriors, rather than squalid would-be killers.
Leave that kind of talk to columnists. Use understatement and let the public draw its own conclusions. Don't labour the point that this plot - which has the feel of something genuine and very serious - underlines what you've been saying about the nature of the threat. It does. Let others say that for you.
John Reid's task, as he comes up on airport television screens, is to reassure the milling masses of grounded holidaymakers that the state has a grip of the situation. This is as much about tone and body language as about the precise words he uses.
The terrorist wants to hear the crack of uncertainty in his voice, and see a hesitation look in his eye. Reid is a good choice for this role. He has a natural authority.
My advice to him now would be to rein back his natural - occasionally splendid - aggression and use the quiet power of his voice to convey a solid competence. And I would advise him against rhetoric. Make no sweeping statements about the war on terrorism, arcs of extremism, axes of evil. This is what terrorists want to hear. It gives them status as ideological warriors, rather than squalid would-be killers.
Leave that kind of talk to columnists. Use understatement and let the public draw its own conclusions. Don't labour the point that this plot - which has the feel of something genuine and very serious - underlines what you've been saying about the nature of the threat. It does. Let others say that for you.
Intrepid Elderhack Mike scores an INTERVIEW with the TANTRUM MAN of IRAN!
Okay, on a scale of George Bush I to the GOLFING MACHINE, which was this closer to? This being 60 I could guess.
FORE!!!!!
(Also via MediaBistro)
Okay, on a scale of George Bush I to the GOLFING MACHINE, which was this closer to? This being 60 I could guess.
FORE!!!!!
(Also via MediaBistro)
Cuba's government signaled a crackdown on Wednesday on black-market satellite dishes on which its citizens get news from the United States, nine days after ailing President Fidel Castro temporarily ceded power to his brother.
I guess he's still alive.
(Via MediaBistro)
I guess he's still alive.
(Via MediaBistro)
MORE GENIUS IN THE THEA-TAH: Mr. Ring of Fire is devising another juke-box show with these brand new classics: "'White Rabbit,' 'Where Have All the Flowers Gone?,' 'Chapel of Love,' 'Where the Boys Are,' 'I Think We're Alone Now,' Eve of Destruction,' 'I Only Want to Be With You,' 'Leaving on a Jet Plane,' 'San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Some Flowers in Your Hair),' 'The Shoop Shoop Song,' and more."
MORE? You mean it gets worse?
MORE? You mean it gets worse?
What would Ned do?
Probably scream "police action" or whimper about "root causes."
Nothing on your site about terrorism, Ned. Way to go!
Probably scream "police action" or whimper about "root causes."
Nothing on your site about terrorism, Ned. Way to go!
And there has to be THIS kind of story:
Oil Falls After U.K. Police Foil Plan to Blow Up Planes to U.S.
Oil Falls After U.K. Police Foil Plan to Blow Up Planes to U.S.
I guess people of love and understanding still want to teach us a lesson.
What will Democrats say? And how long will Muslims remain silent?
Somebody in the British government and in our security did the job right, for once -- and not a moment too soon.
"Possibly" up to 50 involved. That's reassuring.
What will Democrats say? And how long will Muslims remain silent?
Somebody in the British government and in our security did the job right, for once -- and not a moment too soon.
"Possibly" up to 50 involved. That's reassuring.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Jo-NAH MUST type again:
BEST GROUP BLOGS [Jonah Goldberg]
We're mentioned in here .
Posted at 1:06 PM
And one of the winners is Gothamist.com, whose last five posts are "In a Wave of Diplomacy, Orphaned Snow Leopard Heads to the Bronx", "What's Fresh - Nectarines", "Power Struggles Ahead", "Ichiban in the Oven" and "Move Over Naked Cowboy, It's National Underwear Day".
Proving once again the only people who know less than bloggers are the ones who praise them.
Congratulations, JO! You richly deserve the honor.
BEST GROUP BLOGS [Jonah Goldberg]
We're mentioned in here .
Posted at 1:06 PM
And one of the winners is Gothamist.com, whose last five posts are "In a Wave of Diplomacy, Orphaned Snow Leopard Heads to the Bronx", "What's Fresh - Nectarines", "Power Struggles Ahead", "Ichiban in the Oven" and "Move Over Naked Cowboy, It's National Underwear Day".
Proving once again the only people who know less than bloggers are the ones who praise them.
Congratulations, JO! You richly deserve the honor.
ROMY gets EXCITED again:
Philly City Paper announces it will not sell front cover ads
He's never seen our two alternarags. Anything would be better than the stuff they use as filler for all the CONDO and PORN ADS.
I say go for it! Why not $10 million units on the front page -- or a wholesome escort service?
Philly City Paper announces it will not sell front cover ads
He's never seen our two alternarags. Anything would be better than the stuff they use as filler for all the CONDO and PORN ADS.
I say go for it! Why not $10 million units on the front page -- or a wholesome escort service?
THE WORLD'S FRIENDLIEST OIL COMPANY may have cut corners maintaining its Prudhoe Bay line.
Just what we'd expect from THE WORLD'S FRIENDLIEST OIL COMPANY.
Meantime Gov. Murk(owski) has ordered a hiring freeze. I'm waiting for a con-SER-va-tive to write about that.
Just what we'd expect from THE WORLD'S FRIENDLIEST OIL COMPANY.
Meantime Gov. Murk(owski) has ordered a hiring freeze. I'm waiting for a con-SER-va-tive to write about that.
Wenner Media this morning said it will buy back the 50% stake in Us Weekly that it sold to Walt Disney Co. five years ago. Though Wenner didn't disclose terms, Disney said during an earnings conference call today that Wenner will pay about $300 million to get out, while Disney paid about $40 million for the stake in February 2001.
Someone gets the better of -- JANN THE PEACE-AND-LOVE TYRANT?
Someone gets the better of -- JANN THE PEACE-AND-LOVE TYRANT?
I had to post this because it's so AWWWWWWWWWWW-inspiring.
For a week old, though, that little kitty has claws.
Over a hundred years of automobiles and only NOW they get rid of the gas cap?
Now let's get rid of the GAS, if you know what I mean.
Now let's get rid of the GAS, if you know what I mean.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!?
MORE CRUSADING PHOTOSHOP-SEARCHING FONT-COMPARING INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING FROM BLOGGERS:
HEZBOLLAH & THE NYT [Jonah Goldberg]
Another photo controversy.
Update: Not so fast.
Posted at 10:56 AM
A big THANK YOU to SAM LITTLE!!!!!
HEZBOLLAH & THE NYT [Jonah Goldberg]
Another photo controversy.
Update: Not so fast.
Posted at 10:56 AM
A big THANK YOU to SAM LITTLE!!!!!
The man who scored the winning touchdown in the 2002 TOSTITOS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME adds to his arrest record:
"I'm shocked as everyone else is about the allegation," Mango said. "Obviously, he's a young man with a lot of weight on his shoulders."
Very little of it, alas, above his neck.
Why do people pay so much attention to Jonny Hairshirt? He's taken his schleppy little column and is running it in for a touchdown. It's not as if he's a good writer or has keen insight (neither, to be sure, applies); he's merely the Howie Hairshirt of the Web. We're surprised he hasn't been all over television. We suspect he's earning north of six digits. How do these no-talents do it?
By rights Money Honey should be a hero: she took a nothing job and through sheer PR has become one of the most overrated figures in all the media. You've chosen wisely, Jonny.
I guess I'm mad because I've been banging away for three and a half years in total oblivion, and all these loudmouths no different from yours truly get the rewards.
P. S. Well, if it's any consolation, there's a comedian by that name, so maybe Jonny Hairshirt has a while to go yet to total universe-straddling irritation.
By rights Money Honey should be a hero: she took a nothing job and through sheer PR has become one of the most overrated figures in all the media. You've chosen wisely, Jonny.
I guess I'm mad because I've been banging away for three and a half years in total oblivion, and all these loudmouths no different from yours truly get the rewards.
P. S. Well, if it's any consolation, there's a comedian by that name, so maybe Jonny Hairshirt has a while to go yet to total universe-straddling irritation.
Well, this we didn't know:
Lamont ran the Cablevision system in Fairfield, Conn., before launching his own company. CNN's Ted Turner is said to be one of his heroes.
So THAT's how he got "independently wealthy"!
A force of GOOD emerges from an evil industry! Pffffffffffffffffffft!
Lamont ran the Cablevision system in Fairfield, Conn., before launching his own company. CNN's Ted Turner is said to be one of his heroes.
So THAT's how he got "independently wealthy"!
A force of GOOD emerges from an evil industry! Pffffffffffffffffffft!
We must confess few things make us smile like a star baseball player with a messy love life.
This isn't a joke -- he has a 21-month-old daughter; no one ever mentions those things -- but forgive us while we chuckle.
This isn't a joke -- he has a 21-month-old daughter; no one ever mentions those things -- but forgive us while we chuckle.
OOOOOoooooh, Marty Peretz blames SLICK for Sen. Morals's loss!
It's all well and good to anoint KOS a KINGMAKER (I am getting a little tired of hearing that; what happened to the DEMOCRATIZING INFLUENCE of the Web?), but I suspect mere mortals or even KINGMAKERS had little to do with it: Sen. Morals served three terms, and he's been a perpetual, tiresome presence on television (and on IMUS), and he has a whiny voice, and he was part of a losing presidential ticket. Maybe this loss wasn't merely the fruits and nuts at work.
It's all well and good to anoint KOS a KINGMAKER (I am getting a little tired of hearing that; what happened to the DEMOCRATIZING INFLUENCE of the Web?), but I suspect mere mortals or even KINGMAKERS had little to do with it: Sen. Morals served three terms, and he's been a perpetual, tiresome presence on television (and on IMUS), and he has a whiny voice, and he was part of a losing presidential ticket. Maybe this loss wasn't merely the fruits and nuts at work.
Even as Congresspoops are STEVENSING and BYRDING our money away, they find a place to cut money for research on brain injuries to soldiers, which the Congresspoops can now use in their press handouts as proof of their fiscal circumspection.
"Honestly [SIC], they would have loved to have funded it, but there were just so many priorities," says Jenny Manley, spokeswoman for the Senate Appropriations Committee.
You mean like bridges and railroads to nowhere?
Then again:
Zitnay asked for $19 million, and 34 Democratic and six Republican members of Congress signed a letter endorsing the budget request.
Why is it impossible for ANYTHING not to become a cheap political ploy?
"Honestly [SIC], they would have loved to have funded it, but there were just so many priorities," says Jenny Manley, spokeswoman for the Senate Appropriations Committee.
You mean like bridges and railroads to nowhere?
Then again:
Zitnay asked for $19 million, and 34 Democratic and six Republican members of Congress signed a letter endorsing the budget request.
Why is it impossible for ANYTHING not to become a cheap political ploy?
Though Woman of the Year of the Woman loses, we manage to find the time to raise our jernalistic fists in the air, and salute her for fighting the good fight, though it be against JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS, and with "leftist leaders."
We would not bet against another run. Whom news hacks be for....
We would not bet against another run. Whom news hacks be for....
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
It looks as if whoever wins the Connecticut Senate primary's going to do so by the proverbial hairbreadth, and if it's THE POWERBROKER KOS's man, it's hard to see how it won't damage the Democrats, especially as the conscientious among them recognize their party's been taken over by the rabble.
The National Full-of-Money League has its new commissioner; he looks like the kind of professional fan who's subjugated sport. Now when does its luck run out?
Precisely when the ad dispensations and tax subsidies do -- NEVER.
P. S. Already some hacks have poured the holy water on him: his father, "a Republican congressman at the time, later infuriated his party by sponsoring legislation to cut off funding for the Vietnam War." (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!) We don't hold it against the National Full-of-Money League's new commish, but we would note he mightn't have gotten his job if dad hadn't gotten his...and dad got his when Nelson "Middle Finger" Rockefeller appointed him -- after RFK's assassination.
Precisely when the ad dispensations and tax subsidies do -- NEVER.
P. S. Already some hacks have poured the holy water on him: his father, "a Republican congressman at the time, later infuriated his party by sponsoring legislation to cut off funding for the Vietnam War." (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!) We don't hold it against the National Full-of-Money League's new commish, but we would note he mightn't have gotten his job if dad hadn't gotten his...and dad got his when Nelson "Middle Finger" Rockefeller appointed him -- after RFK's assassination.
An Al Reut-er says on a company "blog" photogs should not "clone" photographs!
Stories, yes.
The Professor (or someone like him) chimes in. Isn't being all-powerful for no discernable reason good enough on your fifth anniversary?
Stories, yes.
The Professor (or someone like him) chimes in. Isn't being all-powerful for no discernable reason good enough on your fifth anniversary?
GREAT NEWS FOR CONSERVATIVES!
DENNIS MILLER TO JOIN FOX NEWS CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- and FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS-style exaggeration added]
Another loudmouth finds another job!
DENNIS MILLER TO JOIN FOX NEWS CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- and FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS-style exaggeration added]
Another loudmouth finds another job!
In the fruit-and-nut land by the Bay:
So far this summer, Santa Clara County sheriff's deputies have torn down 70,000 marijuana plants with a street value of more than $300 million. Most gardens have been nestled either on Mount Hamilton in San Jose or in the Santa Cruz Mountains, where authorities say the pot growers are wreaking havoc on the environment by leaking chemicals into the soil and depleting water resources needed by other plants and animals.
Besides littering the area and cutting down vegetation to make room for the marijuana plants, pot growers have shot and maimed animals to prevent them from eating the plants, authorities say.
HUH?!?!? We thought weeds and the earth went together.
So far this summer, Santa Clara County sheriff's deputies have torn down 70,000 marijuana plants with a street value of more than $300 million. Most gardens have been nestled either on Mount Hamilton in San Jose or in the Santa Cruz Mountains, where authorities say the pot growers are wreaking havoc on the environment by leaking chemicals into the soil and depleting water resources needed by other plants and animals.
Besides littering the area and cutting down vegetation to make room for the marijuana plants, pot growers have shot and maimed animals to prevent them from eating the plants, authorities say.
HUH?!?!? We thought weeds and the earth went together.
Shucks, an official campaign organ says Snidely will NOT run for his seat.
WHAT IF YOU WIN?
I just spoke to Dani DeLay Ferro, who is her father's spokesman in this matter. "Anyone can take his name off the ballot," she said. "The fight was over replacing it with another name." Now, Ferro said, the election "will be between [Democrat] Nick Lampson and a write-in candidate." Perro said her father "doesn't have a position" on who that write-in candidate should be.
How about JACK A...never mind.
WHAT IF YOU WIN?
I just spoke to Dani DeLay Ferro, who is her father's spokesman in this matter. "Anyone can take his name off the ballot," she said. "The fight was over replacing it with another name." Now, Ferro said, the election "will be between [Democrat] Nick Lampson and a write-in candidate." Perro said her father "doesn't have a position" on who that write-in candidate should be.
How about JACK A...never mind.
Here in Philthydelphia, more progress on the AIDS (and PC) front:
Health officials yanked public service advertisements urging HIV testing after a gay advocacy group expressed concerns about images depicting young black men in a gun's cross hairs.
Health officials yanked public service advertisements urging HIV testing after a gay advocacy group expressed concerns about images depicting young black men in a gun's cross hairs.
Jake's Gang endeavors to tell a joke.
It should stick with Doonesbury.
The funniest thing is it does get big-name sponsors into financing twelve-letter compound words.
It should stick with Doonesbury.
The funniest thing is it does get big-name sponsors into financing twelve-letter compound words.
MORE BRILLIANT NEWS HACK WISDOM:
PUT A FORK IN 'EM?
10
consectuive [SIC!!!!!] Dodgers wins since Daily News columnist Steve Dilbeck called the Dodgers a 'dead team walking.'
10
consectuive [SIC!!!!!] Dodgers wins since Daily News columnist Steve Dilbeck called the Dodgers a 'dead team walking.'
Lindsay, we're all for your entertaining the soldiers, even if it is good publicity, BUT:
Lohan, whose screen credits include "Freaky Friday,""Mean Girls" and the upcoming "Georgia Rule," says she hoped to emulate Marilyn Monroe, who performed shows for about 100,000 troops stationed in Korea in 1954.
"It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be," Lohan tells the magazine, adding that she would prepare for her trip to Iraq by taking shooting lessons with her security guard.
I don't think so.
Lohan, whose screen credits include "Freaky Friday,""Mean Girls" and the upcoming "Georgia Rule," says she hoped to emulate Marilyn Monroe, who performed shows for about 100,000 troops stationed in Korea in 1954.
"It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be," Lohan tells the magazine, adding that she would prepare for her trip to Iraq by taking shooting lessons with her security guard.
I don't think so.
A) Battle ground achievements:
As regards the military aspects, the Zionist regime has just bombarded Lebanon and carried out several ground operations, but in return it has not only gained zilch, but also sustained the following losses and casualties:
- Destruction of 47 Mircava tanks
- Crash of 2 helicopters
- Destruction of 6 bulldozers
- Destruction of 2 Saer battle ships
- Crash of 2 fighters
- Destruction of 12 military and armor vehicles
- Crash of a surveillance plane and 2 surveillance balloons
- Killing of 226 Israeli militaries
- Injury of 491 Israeli militaries
- Killing of 57 Zionists
- Injury of 404 Zionists
Following 5311 sortie of flights and three-time bombardment of each Lebanese target, the Israeli army has not succeeded in damaging Hezbollah's defense capabilities and missile launching systems. Instead, the Israelis have been experiencing an increase in the number and range of Hezbollah rockets in the last 48 hours.
Meantime, Hezbollah, which lack a classic army and advanced military equipment in confronting the world's 6th largest army, has launched 3465 rockets towards Israel which have not only caused psychological insecurity for the Zionists, but also brought about superiority for the Shiite group and Hezbollah has now taken the initiative in the battle ground.
During the last 24 days, Israel has martyred 43 Hezbollah troops and wounded 141 more. It has also martyred 967 Lebanese civilians and wounded 3293 others.
Yes, it does sound as if somebody's been reporting for Al Reut.
(Via the usual doltish Corner, and its friends)
As regards the military aspects, the Zionist regime has just bombarded Lebanon and carried out several ground operations, but in return it has not only gained zilch, but also sustained the following losses and casualties:
- Destruction of 47 Mircava tanks
- Crash of 2 helicopters
- Destruction of 6 bulldozers
- Destruction of 2 Saer battle ships
- Crash of 2 fighters
- Destruction of 12 military and armor vehicles
- Crash of a surveillance plane and 2 surveillance balloons
- Killing of 226 Israeli militaries
- Injury of 491 Israeli militaries
- Killing of 57 Zionists
- Injury of 404 Zionists
Following 5311 sortie of flights and three-time bombardment of each Lebanese target, the Israeli army has not succeeded in damaging Hezbollah's defense capabilities and missile launching systems. Instead, the Israelis have been experiencing an increase in the number and range of Hezbollah rockets in the last 48 hours.
Meantime, Hezbollah, which lack a classic army and advanced military equipment in confronting the world's 6th largest army, has launched 3465 rockets towards Israel which have not only caused psychological insecurity for the Zionists, but also brought about superiority for the Shiite group and Hezbollah has now taken the initiative in the battle ground.
During the last 24 days, Israel has martyred 43 Hezbollah troops and wounded 141 more. It has also martyred 967 Lebanese civilians and wounded 3293 others.
Yes, it does sound as if somebody's been reporting for Al Reut.
(Via the usual doltish Corner, and its friends)
Another reason to hate the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL ISRAELIS: the LEAGUE OF NATIONS says they've caused (potentially) the BIGGEST OIL SPILL SINCE THE EXXON VALDEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if left untreated).
Guys, just pass the Waldheim Resolution again and be done with it.
Guys, just pass the Waldheim Resolution again and be done with it.
Another step backwards for the geeks:
Is Open Source too [sic] Complex?
Oh well, there's this news in Geekdom:
"Microsoft's most secure Operating System yet has been compromised at the Black Hat hacker conference. We all know that Andrew Cushman, Microsoft's director of security outreach invited the Black Hats over to touch and feel Vista in order to showcase the superiority of this OS. Joanna Rutkowska, from Coseinc, a Singapore-based security firm, obliged and showed how it is possible to bypass security measures in Vista that prevents unsigned code from running with the help of a little software she calls the 'Blue Pill.'"
Do I hear the geeks giggling?
Is Open Source too [sic] Complex?
Oh well, there's this news in Geekdom:
"Microsoft's most secure Operating System yet has been compromised at the Black Hat hacker conference. We all know that Andrew Cushman, Microsoft's director of security outreach invited the Black Hats over to touch and feel Vista in order to showcase the superiority of this OS. Joanna Rutkowska, from Coseinc, a Singapore-based security firm, obliged and showed how it is possible to bypass security measures in Vista that prevents unsigned code from running with the help of a little software she calls the 'Blue Pill.'"
Do I hear the geeks giggling?
Excellent news:
[B]y one estimate, state and local governments owe their current and future retirees roughly $375 billion more than they have committed to their pension funds.
And that may well understate the gap: Barclays Global Investments has calculated that if America’s state pension plans were required to use the same methods as corporations, the total value of the benefits they have promised would grow 22 percent, to $2.5 trillion. Only $1.7 trillion has been set aside to pay those benefits.
When will we finally revolt against the kind of clever shell games le-gis-LA-tors play that create messes like this?
[B]y one estimate, state and local governments owe their current and future retirees roughly $375 billion more than they have committed to their pension funds.
And that may well understate the gap: Barclays Global Investments has calculated that if America’s state pension plans were required to use the same methods as corporations, the total value of the benefits they have promised would grow 22 percent, to $2.5 trillion. Only $1.7 trillion has been set aside to pay those benefits.
When will we finally revolt against the kind of clever shell games le-gis-LA-tors play that create messes like this?
Here's another fad we can hope the BIGMEDIA tyrannies lose big money over -- social networking!
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
Monday, August 07, 2006
Jo-NAH and Larry K and DOW 36,000 and the gang surely had a bad day today: Wal-Mart's raising its lowest pay scales, under pressure (con-SER-va-tives will allege) from all these COMMIES who want to increase the minimum wage. But answer us this, glibertarians: how does it profit Wal-Mart to keep wages low if it can't get the help it needs?
Democrats have reined in their use of the "culture of corruption" mantra in their efforts to oust congressional Republicans from power, fearing the slogan would backfire after two senior members of their own party were implicated in ethical scandals.
We will keep mum on bad timing. Setting the RED-STATE SCORPION neatly aside, I've frequently blasted news hacks for their obvious and offensive liberal bias. I've also said if the shoe were on the other foot it would fit quite comfortably. When Rev's paper runs stuff like this it merely prints a mirror image of what the Post or other leading CW papers would do. Does it ever occur to knee-jerk partisans right and left that both their sides are corrupt? No, or else they wouldn't be knee-jerk partisans.
We will keep mum on bad timing. Setting the RED-STATE SCORPION neatly aside, I've frequently blasted news hacks for their obvious and offensive liberal bias. I've also said if the shoe were on the other foot it would fit quite comfortably. When Rev's paper runs stuff like this it merely prints a mirror image of what the Post or other leading CW papers would do. Does it ever occur to knee-jerk partisans right and left that both their sides are corrupt? No, or else they wouldn't be knee-jerk partisans.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?????
Peace plan on deathbed as Hezbollah kill 15 Israelis
Can you imagine the ANGER in an American newsroom if anybody typed that? You could hear the screaming all the way to -- Canada.
Can you imagine the ANGER in an American newsroom if anybody typed that? You could hear the screaming all the way to -- Canada.
As The New York Sun asked the other day, how many more Haqs must erupt in a homicidal rage before we open our eyes ``to the possibility that they are part of a war in which understanding the enemy is a prerequisite for victory?"
Ask NEIL "RAH!" MacFARQUHAR.
(Via the inevitable Romy)
Ask NEIL "RAH!" MacFARQUHAR.
(Via the inevitable Romy)
One of the RED-STATE SCORPION's boys, Mr. NEY, is giving up his re-election campaign!
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh-da DUT DUT!
P. S.
Despite being aided by the bankroll of numerous liberal third party groups who are spending millions of dollars to defeat Congressman Bob Ney, millionaire attorney Zack Space has proven yet again he will knock on anyone’s door for campaign cash -- including the door of the ultra-liberal real estate magnate, Aris Anagnos, who once nominated Fidel Castro for President.
We could have used that money!
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh-da DUT DUT!
P. S.
Despite being aided by the bankroll of numerous liberal third party groups who are spending millions of dollars to defeat Congressman Bob Ney, millionaire attorney Zack Space has proven yet again he will knock on anyone’s door for campaign cash -- including the door of the ultra-liberal real estate magnate, Aris Anagnos, who once nominated Fidel Castro for President.
We could have used that money!
Another excuse for news hacks and liberals to chuckle knowingly:
Teens whose iPods are full of music with raunchy, sexual lyrics start having sex sooner than those who prefer other songs, a study found.
We've said it before, we'll say it again: when social science attempts to validate common sense it is neither science nor sensible; and this is why news hacks and liberals laugh at common sense.
Teens whose iPods are full of music with raunchy, sexual lyrics start having sex sooner than those who prefer other songs, a study found.
We've said it before, we'll say it again: when social science attempts to validate common sense it is neither science nor sensible; and this is why news hacks and liberals laugh at common sense.
Somebody's turning out ANOTHER pile of paper about HYER EHDYUKAYSHUN. This has been an irritant with conservatives as they fear (with justification) the result will be a wordy whitewash. We can hope it won't, but we'll keep our eyes open too.
The same Feds who gave us Der Homeland want to cage the felines in Hemingway's Key West house. We can see why it's counterproductive (Feds notwithstanding):
"A lot of the adults are, frankly, more interested in the cats than they are in Hemingway," says "Boston" Bob Smith, a guide at the Whitehead Street museum, which opened three years after the author committed suicide in 1961 and has been the island's most popular tourist attraction since. "People come in and they don't know who Hemingway was. They ask what year was he the president."
Yes, I think the Feds should leave the cats alone.
We understand why New York's fire department is doing this -- three percent black firefighters is not acceptable -- but we do hope this doesn't bite the Big Apple on its cheeks, as affirmative action often does.
Another tremendous achievement: an Emmy nomination for an 11-second performance!
The next time a media type boasts of winning awards, remember this.
The next time a media type boasts of winning awards, remember this.
Meantime David "300" Bauder, courageous defender of the rights of newsmen everywhere to report as they please, courageously types another PRESS RELEASE!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to "300"!
P. S. "300", I'm sure The Discovery Channel will like your LINK.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to "300"!
P. S. "300", I'm sure The Discovery Channel will like your LINK.
A study is about to give Madison Avenue a fresh pummeling: McKinsey & Co. is telling a host of major marketers that by 2010, traditional TV advertising will be one-third as effective as it was in 1990.
The answer? FINANCE MORE JUNK TELEVISION!
The answer? FINANCE MORE JUNK TELEVISION!
A CONVENTION of JERNALISM PERFESSERS has just PASSED A RESOLUTION DEMANDING DUBYA STOP HOLING HIMSELF UP!!!!!
And ALSO on the CONVENTION'S AGENDA:
Circling the Wagons: Containing the Impact of the Downing Street Memo Story in the United States • Douglas Bicket, St. John Fisher College and Melissa Wall, California State University, Northridge
Counting from Ten Backwards: The New York Times Coverage of the Central American Free Trade Agreement as Anesthesia for a Critical Discussion of Globalization • Kristin Comeforo, Berkeley College
A Postmodern Critique of Framing and Power: A Response to Durham • J. Collin English, Portland State University
Tracing the Blame Game: Constructions of Victimization in The New York Times, 1920-2003 • Katie Foss, University of Minnesota
Separate Audiences, Separate Stories, Same Product: A Qualitative Exploration of the Emergent Ideological Themes in General vs. African American Television Advertising • Karie Hollerbach, Southeast Missouri State University
Does Technology Manifest Social Sensibility in South Korea?: Focusing on Korean Advertisements of Mobile Phone • Hyejung Ju, University of Oklahoma
Two-Face, Man Hands and Mimbo: Feminized and Masculinized Portrayals of Single Women on Seinfeld • K. Maja Krakowiak, Pennsylvania State University
“Girls With a Passion for Fashion”: The Bratz Brand as Spectacular Consumption • Matthew P. McAllister, Pennsylvania State University
Gender Roles and Femininity in the Personal TLC Series: A Qualitative Analysis of Audience Receptivity • Meghan O’Brien, Syracuse University
Is There a Place for the Public in Media Theory? • Lana F. Rakow, Jim Abbott, Valica Boudry, Louella Lofranco and Diana Nastasia, University of North Dakota
And so on. And so and so on. And so on and so on and so on.
(Via MediaBistro.com)
And ALSO on the CONVENTION'S AGENDA:
Circling the Wagons: Containing the Impact of the Downing Street Memo Story in the United States • Douglas Bicket, St. John Fisher College and Melissa Wall, California State University, Northridge
Counting from Ten Backwards: The New York Times Coverage of the Central American Free Trade Agreement as Anesthesia for a Critical Discussion of Globalization • Kristin Comeforo, Berkeley College
A Postmodern Critique of Framing and Power: A Response to Durham • J. Collin English, Portland State University
Tracing the Blame Game: Constructions of Victimization in The New York Times, 1920-2003 • Katie Foss, University of Minnesota
Separate Audiences, Separate Stories, Same Product: A Qualitative Exploration of the Emergent Ideological Themes in General vs. African American Television Advertising • Karie Hollerbach, Southeast Missouri State University
Does Technology Manifest Social Sensibility in South Korea?: Focusing on Korean Advertisements of Mobile Phone • Hyejung Ju, University of Oklahoma
Two-Face, Man Hands and Mimbo: Feminized and Masculinized Portrayals of Single Women on Seinfeld • K. Maja Krakowiak, Pennsylvania State University
“Girls With a Passion for Fashion”: The Bratz Brand as Spectacular Consumption • Matthew P. McAllister, Pennsylvania State University
Gender Roles and Femininity in the Personal TLC Series: A Qualitative Analysis of Audience Receptivity • Meghan O’Brien, Syracuse University
Is There a Place for the Public in Media Theory? • Lana F. Rakow, Jim Abbott, Valica Boudry, Louella Lofranco and Diana Nastasia, University of North Dakota
And so on. And so and so on. And so on and so on and so on.
(Via MediaBistro.com)
Lollapalooza: For kidz and adultz
America's Truth-Telling Crusading Paper learns how to spell!
No wonder they retouch photos.
America's Truth-Telling Crusading Paper learns how to spell!
No wonder they retouch photos.
The world's friendliest oil company, BP, is shutting down Prudhoe Bay for extended maintenance, and the wolves are out:
A 400,000-barrel per day reduction in output would have a major impact on oil prices, said Tetsu Emori, chief commodities strategist at Mitsui Bussan Futures in Tokyo.
""OIL PRICES COULD INCREASE BY AS MUCH AS $10 PER BARREL GIVEN THE CURRENT ENVIRONMENT!!!!!!!!!!" Emori said. [Overemphasis added.]
Such folks are as unhappy as GREG when he discovers a WAR CRIME. On the other hand:
Victor Shum, an energy analyst with Purvin & Gertz in Singapore, said he expected the impact to be minimal.
"The U.S. market is actually well-supplied; crude inventories are very high," he said.
Honest...we expect financial sales -- ANALYSTS to be honest?
A 400,000-barrel per day reduction in output would have a major impact on oil prices, said Tetsu Emori, chief commodities strategist at Mitsui Bussan Futures in Tokyo.
""OIL PRICES COULD INCREASE BY AS MUCH AS $10 PER BARREL GIVEN THE CURRENT ENVIRONMENT!!!!!!!!!!" Emori said. [Overemphasis added.]
Such folks are as unhappy as GREG when he discovers a WAR CRIME. On the other hand:
Victor Shum, an energy analyst with Purvin & Gertz in Singapore, said he expected the impact to be minimal.
"The U.S. market is actually well-supplied; crude inventories are very high," he said.
Honest...we expect financial sales -- ANALYSTS to be honest?
If Little Malcolm were as good a businessman as he is a self-publicist, his fortune would rival St. Warren's. This publicity-seeking sale to World-Savior Bono and others sounds like the sort of gimmick he's perpetrated with his notorious lists. Why not an IPO? Why not RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? Doesn't anyone want a business rag anymore?
Sunday, August 06, 2006
RAH! RAH! RAH! SIS! BOOM! BAH! HASSAN! HASSAN! RAH! RAH! RAH!
YaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TEAM!!!!!
And this "elected" leader has "the Disney touch."
Yes, it will take more than tantrums over Photoshopped pictures to change the mentality at work here. Meantime, a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (Political Division) to NEIL! RAH!
YaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TEAM!!!!!
And this "elected" leader has "the Disney touch."
Yes, it will take more than tantrums over Photoshopped pictures to change the mentality at work here. Meantime, a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (Political Division) to NEIL! RAH!
Disney World raises ticket prices
Florida resort price hike is second this year
According to the Orlando Sentinel, Disney ticket prices have gone up 22 percent since early 2004.
Ub Iger's set!
Florida resort price hike is second this year
According to the Orlando Sentinel, Disney ticket prices have gone up 22 percent since early 2004.
Ub Iger's set!
To its credit, Al Reut has suspended -- that photographer, who allegedly helped turn Qana into a cause celebre; and while we might have poo-poohed this given our love for SAM LITTLE, we still think this is but another skirmish that will not change the way these ossified organizations do business. After all, VIACON's news outfit got a mere headache after DANNO was exposed.
(Via another division of THE CORNER, where they're EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
P. S. Word of this stunt thus far seems confined to Israeli news orgs and conservative blogs. Romy MAY post on this tomorrow -- if only because it's something "ethical." MAY.
P. P. S. I think I figured out why SAM LITTLE gets on my nerves: it's his GOTCHA! -- the same GOTCHA! BIGMEDIA use. Israelis committed a massacre in Lebanon! GOTCHA! Reuters fakes a photograph! GOTCHA! It's the same gleeful dance-on-the-desk GOTCHA! that raises my ire at media of ALL kinds, of ALL stripes. That's why SAM LITTLE gets on my nerves -- and the rest of his TRUTH-TELLING CONTINGENT.
P. P. P. S. at 7:05 p.m.: It's slowly working its way up the news food chain: E&P, the WaPost, TNR, ESPNCorp -- and even Al Reut.
BUT:
He was among several photographers from the main international news agencies whose images of a dead child being held up by a rescuer in the village of Qana, south Lebanon, after an Israeli air strike on July 30 have been challenged by blogs critical of the mainstream media's coverage of the Middle East conflict. [SIC]
Any news organization that pays so little attention to clarity must sooner or later run fake photos.
(Via another division of THE CORNER, where they're EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
P. S. Word of this stunt thus far seems confined to Israeli news orgs and conservative blogs. Romy MAY post on this tomorrow -- if only because it's something "ethical." MAY.
P. P. S. I think I figured out why SAM LITTLE gets on my nerves: it's his GOTCHA! -- the same GOTCHA! BIGMEDIA use. Israelis committed a massacre in Lebanon! GOTCHA! Reuters fakes a photograph! GOTCHA! It's the same gleeful dance-on-the-desk GOTCHA! that raises my ire at media of ALL kinds, of ALL stripes. That's why SAM LITTLE gets on my nerves -- and the rest of his TRUTH-TELLING CONTINGENT.
P. P. P. S. at 7:05 p.m.: It's slowly working its way up the news food chain: E&P, the WaPost, TNR, ESPNCorp -- and even Al Reut.
BUT:
He was among several photographers from the main international news agencies whose images of a dead child being held up by a rescuer in the village of Qana, south Lebanon, after an Israeli air strike on July 30 have been challenged by blogs critical of the mainstream media's coverage of the Middle East conflict. [SIC]
Any news organization that pays so little attention to clarity must sooner or later run fake photos.
SAM LITTLE IS BACK ON THE CASE -- WITH A DOCTORED PHOTOGRAPH FROM AL REUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This won't stick. Yes, it appears someone at Al got cute, but while this may be a smoking skyline, it's no smoking gun: The biz has played tricks with pictures since Valentino and Caruso appeared together at the River Styx in the New York Evening Graphic. No SAM, it's going to take a lot more than a doctored picture to prove the Reut's malfeasance -- and with your many dispatches of YASSIR'S and IDI AMIN'S DEATHS BEFORE THE FACT you're not the one to lecture.
Indeed, seeing those pictures from Bernarr MacFadden's rag makes us wish we lived in the twenties -- and that reading the news were fun again.
(Via the equally foolish JPod)
And speaking of mania, we interview -- THE ENEMY.
Come on, guys! Your stock's worth a LOT more than the TWXSTERS'. (Of course St. Warren has this obsession with not splitting stock so the rabble can't buy it, thus keeping his companies -- HOLY.)
Come on, guys! Your stock's worth a LOT more than the TWXSTERS'. (Of course St. Warren has this obsession with not splitting stock so the rabble can't buy it, thus keeping his companies -- HOLY.)
Mr. Mark puts RELIGION on the cover! (God -- or rather, god -- knows we haven't been inside a church in years, the only true God being ST. WARREN.) And of course when you see Billy Graham there, the first thing you think is -- he's gone LIBERAL!!!!! BUT:
Graham has made it clear that partisan politics and the culture wars feel far away. He will not offer opinions on stem-cell research, for instance, and he has stopped giving political counsel to the powerful, a habit that began with Eisenhower.
This is wise thinking -- but why did it come toward the end of his life, well after he'd made buddy-buddies with Tricky Dick and Leonid? And why did he consent to plaster his newfound humility on the cover of a CW rag? Humility can never come to grasp with publicity.
P. S. And of course Billy isn't on the cover of St. Warren's international edition, which further makes us wonder what "news" is. (That story is on big biz' latest fad, environmental PC. Let's see how long that buzzword mania lasts.)
Graham has made it clear that partisan politics and the culture wars feel far away. He will not offer opinions on stem-cell research, for instance, and he has stopped giving political counsel to the powerful, a habit that began with Eisenhower.
This is wise thinking -- but why did it come toward the end of his life, well after he'd made buddy-buddies with Tricky Dick and Leonid? And why did he consent to plaster his newfound humility on the cover of a CW rag? Humility can never come to grasp with publicity.
P. S. And of course Billy isn't on the cover of St. Warren's international edition, which further makes us wonder what "news" is. (That story is on big biz' latest fad, environmental PC. Let's see how long that buzzword mania lasts.)
Israeli army says it has captured one of the Hezbollah guerrillas who kidnapped two Israeli soldiers July 12, TV reports say. (CNN.com International hed)
So what does this mean? Does this mean we set up a "prisoner exchange" and go back to square one?
So what does this mean? Does this mean we set up a "prisoner exchange" and go back to square one?