Posted 11:07 AM by Gene

Congratulations, Rog! All that thumbs-UPping paid off!

"Movies make us more decent people."

More RICHER people, anyway.

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

Good news: The CONSPIRACY's surfeit of GENIUS is helping the VIDEO-RENTAL BIZ TOO!

Posted 10:05 AM by Gene

SAMMY GLICKMAN'S BOYS DO IT AGAIN:

There were gales of audience laughter at the preview of Nora Ephron's adaptation of the '60s TV comedy "Bewitched" - but almost all of it came from the soundtrack.

The laughter is produced by people on-screen watching episodes of a revived "Bewitched" series being taped in a Hollywood studio. They're providing the so-called "canned laughter" that viewers will later hear at home. Ironically, that what these audiences are cracking up over isn't remotely funny is one of the few things in the movie that is.

Caveat: this is JACK MATHEWS, who's said a few laugh-track-worthy things himself.

Posted 9:46 AM by Gene

Miss World needed -- PLASTIC SURGERY?

Heaven forfend!

Mantilla denied that Morillas operated on her ears, chin, eyebrows and lips as was suggested in before-and-after photographs of her profile supplied by the plastic surgeon to the daily newspaper El Mundo in Spain.

"That violates his professional ethics," she said.

After WACKO JACKO we assume plastic surgeons have ETHICS?

Posted 9:46 AM by Gene

And speaking of not doing what they're supposed to, the HACKS are trying to get Karl Rove to resign for saying a dumb thing. Meantime KNIGHTRIDDER blames TALK RADIO and BLOGGERS (code words for con-SER-va-tives) for Sen. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH putting his foot in his mouth.

Instructive: Google News links to 423 stories about the Sen. while already the mighty propaganda machine has inspired 359 stories about Karl's outburst. TRUTH MARCHES ON.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Well, at least there wasn't a riot -- THIS time.

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

Poll: U.S. not winning world popularity contest

I'm sure if GEORGE GALLUP and his FELLOW NUMBER MANIPULATORS were around at other times in history we'd get equally dubious results, like polls endorsing Hitler and Stalin, and polls endorsing slavery, and polls endorsing the Crusades, and polls endorsing Attila the Hun, and polls endorsing the crucifixion of Jesus. When news hacks don't do what they're supposed to, they turn to POLLS.

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

THE POWER OF ADVERTISING:

Gillette Co. has lost another legal round in its razor fight with Energizer Holdings’ Schick -– one that will force it to spend an estimated $1.6 million to relabel millions of M3 Power razors on store shelves and in warehouses.

A U.S. District Court in Connecticut ruled June 20 against Gillette on its motion seeking clarification of a prior May 31 injunction. In the prior ruling, the court ordered the company to stop using claims it said were literally false that the battery-powered vibrating razor raises facial hair, thus making it easier to cut.

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

Tony? Tony? Steve. Yeah, listen with our PR problems I'd like to give you a one-on-one. Yeah. Well I can trust you guys. You won't ask me tough questions. Yeah, pure sales pi -- PERSONALITY FEATURE. Think we can make it front-page? I knew you would. My guys'll get back to you for the time. Hey you're a great publicist, Tony. See you for the interview!

LOT OF GOOD IT DID.

Posted 9:09 AM by Gene

My Web connection at work was down ALL DAY, and enough little things piled up to make yesterday rotten I didn't dare get my monitor from our mailroom. We'll try that today. In the meantime given that I got nine hits without posting maybe if I kept not posting I'd get even more hits.

Posted 2:09 PM by Gene

More SCINTILLATING SCIENCE:

Brain Cells 'Recognize' Famous People

Posted 2:04 PM by Gene

Judging from this site I'd say these people could ONLY have sex with whores.

Posted 1:53 PM by Gene

One of these things is not like the other:

Hollywood needs to lose the lame sequels and remakes. Instead, invigorate box-office receipts with originality and maturity [home-page tease]

The Movie Theater in Your Pocket
Direct from Cellywood: Cell-phone cinema isn't exactly like the big-screen kind, but its potential sure is attracting attention

P. S. I got news for you, Ron: that "pretty darn bad" Bewitched isn't from Viacon. IT'S A SONY.

Posted 1:02 PM by Gene

Republicans "promise" they won't do anything rash with SocSec, which makes one wonder why they opened their mouths about private accounts in the first place.

Posted 10:59 AM by Gene

Now THE CORNER obsesses over MOVIE LINES.

These fools are a bit too LIBERAL with their YAKETY-YAKKING.

Posted 10:46 AM by Gene

Nearly four years after the Sept. 11 attacks, the number of Saudis visiting the USA annually continues to decline. There were 22,235 in 2004 compared with 83,761 in 2001, according to the Department of Homeland Security's yearbook of immigration statistics.

Is this good news because fewer of our "friends" may be casing the joint, or bad news because they may be doing it in secret?

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

Though far removed from Washington, the Coushatta Indian tribe quickly learned the cost of influence in the Capitol: "Wire all funds. Professional Services. $3,405,000.00," one of the tribe's lobbyists, now under investigation, wrote the Coushattas in 2002.

Other invoices such as this one from Michael Scanlon, a business partner of lobbyist Jack Abramoff, carry similar commands for large sums. Before it was all over the tribe had spent $32 million of its casino profits on a lobbying effort that many now question as exorbitant, and tribal members had ousted their leadership.

Such are the wiles of PROSTITUTES in the Puzzle Palace on the Potomac -- and their TRICKS are FINANCIAL VD.

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

Newspapers root for movie-ad rebound

Does that mean even MORE fawning and preening and SELLING?

Posted 8:10 AM by Gene

Count on some "writer living in New York" to complain in Toenail.com that Monty Python's Blazing Saddles is -- SPAM.

Let's see, last year at this time, you folks ran things like "RONALD REAGAN DESERVED TO DIE." How did we ever come -- DOWN from that standard?

Posted 8:08 AM by Gene

Sixteen Democratic senators called on President Bush to remove Kenneth Y. Tomlinson as head of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting because of their concerns that he is injecting partisan politics into public radio and television.

The home of GOD? PERISH the thought!

Which just goes to prove both parties have their useful idiots.

Posted 8:01 AM by Gene

Sen. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! apologizes!

Who's next?

According to the online encyclopedia Wikipedia, "There is a tradition in many Usenet newsgroups that once such a comparison is made, the thread is over, and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever argument was in progress."

Well I'm glad we have THAT bit of wisdom from the WIK!

Posted 3:08 PM by Gene

New York Rangers forward Jaromir Jagr said Tuesday that players’ initial refusal of a salary cap in talks with the NHL was a mistake.

NOW he tells us.

Posted 1:25 PM by Gene

NBA, Union Agree on Terms of New Collective Bargaining Agreement

SHUCKS! The AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTITUDE continues.

Posted 12:53 PM by Gene

U.S. General: Many Insurgents in Iraq Paid

What intransigent oil-rich ALLY do you suppose the money might come from?

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

Late comic Dangerfield to be subject of movie

Given the GENIUS of the biz these days he could say he still don't get no respect.

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

Uh-oh:

There's Progress in Iraq

By Kofi Annan

Posted 10:41 AM by Gene

New research indicates parts of the brain that govern fear and anxiety are switched off when a woman is having an orgasm but remain active if she is faking.

HOW CAN THEY TELL?

Posted 10:20 AM by Gene

And in other business shenanigans:

AMC, Loews Cineplex Plan to Merge

Misery loves companies, again.

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

The Chinese want Maytag, the Chinese want Unocal -- yes, we're living in a WAL-MART ECONOMY!

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

An Australian engineer held hostage in Iraq for nearly seven weeks arrived in his home country yesterday and apologized for his televised plea for coalition forces to withdraw from Iraq.

Douglas Wood, 64, who lives in Alamo, Calif., told reporters at Melbourne's airport that he supported the coalition forces' role in Iraq.

"Frankly, I'd like to apologize to both President Bush and Prime Minister [John] Howard for the things I said under duress," said Mr. Wood, with his American wife, Yvonne Given, and his brothers, Vernon and Malcolm, and their wives by his side.

"I actually believe that I am proof positive that the current policy of training the Iraqi army ... works because it was Iraqis that got me out," he said.

Apology not needed.

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

The BEST magazines deserve the BEST publisher.

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

I CHOOSE NOT to READ you, Vir-GIN-ia.

Thanks AGAIN, ArtsJournal.com!

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

You wonder USAOKAY!!!!! doesn't have a booth at this big licensing convention -- it does enough SELLING.

Oops:

"There will continue to be breakout properties," says Debra Joester of licensing agency The Joester Loria Group. "But it takes a lot more work and strategic vision than ever. Logo slapping (on merchandise) doesn't excite consumers."

Sales results seem to bear that out. Total licensing revenue grew less than 1%, to $5.85 billion, last year, according to a study out today from the International Licensing Industry Merchandisers Association (LIMA).

Most of the gains came from entertainment, which benefited from movie sequels led by Spider-Man 2 and Shrek 2.

Fashion and sports brands generated less excitement.

Translation: it's the same old same old; but part of the fun of BIG MEDIA is packaging the same old same old in the same new same new bottles.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

Another side of RENDELLISM:

Center City is likely to be awash in puppets, protesters and skateboarders today, as two major demonstrations are expected to draw thousands of people and temporarily shut down many streets.

Hey, a city hasn't arrived until it has a BIG PROTEST that ties up everything -- like SEATTLE! You NEED big protests in order to attract people to the restaurants that employ all the waiters and janitors and cooks and barmaids a city needs to be in the 21ST-CENTURY ECONOMY! And if the restaurants need new windows, well -- WE'LL PAY FOR THEM WITH SLOTS!

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

Am I the only one who is sick and disgusted by the Hilton family and their need to prove that they are better than everyone else?

You should talk -- YOUR BOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is an HONORARY FAMILY MEMBER.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

District of Columbia Police Chief Charles H. Ramsey has personal insight into the city’s car theft problem. His unmarked black 1999 Ford Crown Victoria was stolen near his home.

This would be awful if it weren't funny.

Hey Mayor Williams: Get the guy a NEW CAR! You will anyway.

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

I can feel ROMY's blood pressure rising:

MONITOR OF MOYERS' "NOW" SHOW TIED TO CONSERVATIVE OUTFIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIND THE NEAREST TREE AND HANG HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

I wouldn't bother with this story about a new head reverse Robin Hood in advertising except one of his subordinates wants to rub our faces in junk television -- and this clown's resume seems to presage even more of it:

Prior to joining OMD, he was president and CEO of Raycom Sports, which focused on sports programming and advertising in that area. Before Raycom Sports, he worked at ABC Television in network sales. He started in media buying at Ted Bates Advertising, then moved to BBDO and Benton & Bowles.

TRANSLATION: He has enough connections to help GUARANTEE TV can only get worse.

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

Grapefruit May Make Women Seem Younger

Especially up front.

I would post an appropriate picture but I'm at work.

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

A mathematical formula for QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: the impartial Juan Cole + Sen. McPAIN! + Sen. Hole-in-the-Bagel = a paper that richly deserves to become an Internet entity.

Posted 8:10 AM by Gene

Hollywood yells: THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!

And I can't think of a better bunch for it to fall on -- especially when it looks like BATMAN guano.

Posted 8:05 AM by Gene

The opthalmologist is bombing again.

Posted 8:03 AM by Gene

Sen. Frist flexes his muscles!

Meaning Sen. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! can open his mouth with impunity.

Posted 11:57 AM by Gene

We also have a problem with the JORDANAIRES.

Hey Porter! What good's the world's best intelligence with the world's worst allies?

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

Kuwait's first female Cabinet member took the oath of office in parliament Monday over the shouts of Muslim fundamentalist and tribal lawmakers opposed to women in politics.

Looks like some people still have some larnin' to do.

The parliament floor was in uproar as CONSERVATIVES [BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!] stood and cried out that Massouma al-Mubarak's appointment was unconstitutional because she was not a registered voter. LIBERAL lawmakers [YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!] then stood as well, shouting back, "Congratulations."

That goes for CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES too.

Posted 10:58 AM by Gene

Slashdot poses a question that needs no answer:

Science: Is Science Fiction the Opiate of the Geek Masses?

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

Did RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pull a BLATHERGATE?

Big, BIG caveat: this is NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 10:23 AM by Gene

J'ACCUSE!!!!!

No Froot Loops for Saddam

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

BLUNDER discovers a TAX BREAK!

The fact that it doesn't mention a tax break means it's a HUGE tax break.

Because the Presidio is a federal enclave, Lucasfilm and its subtenants will avoid most local and state taxes, including the payroll tax that provides San Francisco with 13 percent of its operating budget. Lucasfilm also avoided potentially millions of dollars in local development impact fees and property taxes.

DARTH VADER indeed!

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

CUBIC ZIRCONIA SPEAKS:

"I don't think there's an audience for squeaky clean," said Shari Anne Brill, director of programming for ad-buying firm Carat. "It has to be modernized in the way we've all been fed such reality. You need to see the tears, the drama, the makeup, the mascara, the crisis of finding out you have a zit."

CORPORATE AMERICA! DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR AD DOLLARS ARE? DO YOU CARE? DIDN'T THINK SO!!!!!

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN er...SPEAK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG er...THE WORLD MUST BE MADE SAFE FOR er...THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO FEAR IS er....

DAMMIT! I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

More important, there simply isn't much evidence that media conglomerates have become dinosaurs at all. News Corp., which publishes The Post, and holds interests in a broad range of media businesses, has been enjoying improving fundamentals and a rising stock price during the same period that Viacom's performance has been heading in the opposite direction.

Chris, we're so happy to hear not all media dinosaurs are dinosaurs -- especially the dinosaur run by YOUR BOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's true -- you don't have to bribe a NEWS HACK.

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

Where would HBO be without AD-BLURB COPYWRITERS and MILLIONS OF S&M PHREAKS WHO WANT TO SEE CRAPPY MOVIES?

Posted 8:06 AM by Gene

For what it's worth I'd have posted over the weekend but my eBay merchant took his time with my monitor, but it should come today, so UPS says. Just as well; I have to rearrange the rubble in my apartment to make room for it.

Posted 8:05 AM by Gene

Now that Porter knows where Elvis is, does that mean we wait until Pakistan turns Christian?