THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
More thrilling news of the THEA-TAH:
A.R. Gurney's world premiere political satire, Screen Play, opens June 4 at The Flea Theater in New York City.
Flea Artistic Director Jim Simpson directs the limited engagement of the work written especially for downtown troupe which began May 27 and runs through June 25.
Screen Play sets its story "just before the election of 2015" in an America "ruled by a conservative religious majority. The economy is sagging, wars are raging and culture is in decay. Many Americans have begun to flee to Canada and Mexico as the government struggles to stop pandemic reverse immigration," according to a show description. The work liberally based on a classic 1942 film "is a tale of politics, history, the city of Buffalo, and a love ruined by the Bush-Gore election of 2000."
And starring:
The next Marlon Brando and James Dean!
A.R. Gurney's world premiere political satire, Screen Play, opens June 4 at The Flea Theater in New York City.
Flea Artistic Director Jim Simpson directs the limited engagement of the work written especially for downtown troupe which began May 27 and runs through June 25.
Screen Play sets its story "just before the election of 2015" in an America "ruled by a conservative religious majority. The economy is sagging, wars are raging and culture is in decay. Many Americans have begun to flee to Canada and Mexico as the government struggles to stop pandemic reverse immigration," according to a show description. The work liberally based on a classic 1942 film "is a tale of politics, history, the city of Buffalo, and a love ruined by the Bush-Gore election of 2000."
And starring:
The next Marlon Brando and James Dean!
Shucks, more bad news for the KORAN-DEFILEMENT-OBSESSING HACKS:
Al-Zarqawi deputy arrested in northern Iraq
Al-Zarqawi deputy arrested in northern Iraq
Without caffeine, WP's Kurtz had 419 bylines in 2004
The noun hack has 7 meanings:
The noun hack has 7 meanings:
Meaning #1: one who works hard at boring tasks
Synonyms: drudge, hacker
Meaning #2: a politician who belongs to a small clique that controls a political party for private rather than public ends
Synonyms: machine politician, ward-heeler, political hack
Meaning #3: a mediocre and disdained writer
Synonyms: hack writer, literary hack
Meaning #4: a car driven by a person whose job is to take passengers where they want to go in exchange for money
Synonyms: cab, taxi, taxicab
Meaning #5: an old or over-worked horse
Synonyms: jade, nag, plug
Meaning #6: a horse kept for hire
Saddam's morale 'collapsing' before trial, his judge says
I think my morale might not be too high either if I'd killed a couple of hundred thousand people.
Hey HACKS! Why don't you make a J'ACCUSE of it!
I think my morale might not be too high either if I'd killed a couple of hundred thousand people.
Hey HACKS! Why don't you make a J'ACCUSE of it!
Keeping in mind this IS BOB NOVAK:
On the day before Texas Supreme Court Justice Priscilla Owen was confirmed by the Senate as part of a negotiated compromise, Democratic Sen. Tom Harkin called her "wacko."
Harkin, appearing on liberal Randi Rhodes's national radio talk show, became animated as he said of Owen: "This is not a person to put on the bench for a lifetime appointment. This person is wacko! She's wacko!"
On the same program, Harkin said Christian broadcasters are "sort of our home-grown Taliban." He added: "They have a direct line to God. And if you don't tune into their line, you're obviously on Satan's line."
Hey Senator! Who's YOUR direct line down there?
On the day before Texas Supreme Court Justice Priscilla Owen was confirmed by the Senate as part of a negotiated compromise, Democratic Sen. Tom Harkin called her "wacko."
Harkin, appearing on liberal Randi Rhodes's national radio talk show, became animated as he said of Owen: "This is not a person to put on the bench for a lifetime appointment. This person is wacko! She's wacko!"
On the same program, Harkin said Christian broadcasters are "sort of our home-grown Taliban." He added: "They have a direct line to God. And if you don't tune into their line, you're obviously on Satan's line."
Hey Senator! Who's YOUR direct line down there?
The planned world premiere in Tokyo of Steven Spielberg's new film "War of the Worlds" has been canceled because of concerns about providing security for Tom Cruise and other stars and preventing bootleg recording of the film, its distributor said Saturday.
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
By the way, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES do know their literature; they say Tom's PR stunt was based on a work by "H. G. Well." I guess they've been thumbing THE KORAN too much.
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
By the way, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES do know their literature; they say Tom's PR stunt was based on a work by "H. G. Well." I guess they've been thumbing THE KORAN too much.
The government is about to spend $720 billion over the next decade on medicines for old people. How much of this is going to be wasted or stolen?
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD QUESTION!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD QUESTION!
Friday, June 03, 2005
Russia's State Natural Gas Monopoly Buys Controlling Stake in 'Izvestia'
WE'VE FOUND THE SOLUTION TO THE INDUSTRY CRISIS!!!!!
WE'VE FOUND THE SOLUTION TO THE INDUSTRY CRISIS!!!!!
Every time the HACKS, always shouting the industry motto -- "What's good for Time Warner is good for America" -- discuss video games, they talk as if they'd seen THE SECOND COMING OF BEN BRADLEE -- and then they type something like this:
Take a walk through the industry's annual trade show known as E3, which ended in May, and it's obvious that much of the serious development money goes for games based on movies ("Harry Potter," "King Kong," "Spider-man," to name a few); sequels to popular franchises ("Final Fantasy XII," "Sims 2," "Halo 2"); and knockoffs of the most popular genres — fantasy and war games.
If video games are transforming a hundred universes why do they always transform them IN THE SAME OLD WAY?
Take a walk through the industry's annual trade show known as E3, which ended in May, and it's obvious that much of the serious development money goes for games based on movies ("Harry Potter," "King Kong," "Spider-man," to name a few); sequels to popular franchises ("Final Fantasy XII," "Sims 2," "Halo 2"); and knockoffs of the most popular genres — fantasy and war games.
If video games are transforming a hundred universes why do they always transform them IN THE SAME OLD WAY?
And in other cleaning and disinfecting plugs, BILL BRADLEY'S STARTING A TALK RADIO SHOW!
Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
As we might have predicted, Larry "Dick Grasso Doesn't Make Enough" Kudlow and Dow 36,000 are dancing on their desks over Christopher Cox' appointment, which may be a bad sign. Or then again, maybe they don't know their rear ends from a hole in the ground, as we'd suspect from a man who thinks Dick Grasso didn't make enough and another man who thought the Dow would reach 36,000.
We take comfort in one thing: con-SER-va-tives fell one over another imitating Tony the Tiger when Dubya appointed that show-biz financier and social climber at Kellogg's -- and we haven't heard from him since. Hmmm, that may be a bad sign: he's giving the store away PRIVATELY.
We take comfort in one thing: con-SER-va-tives fell one over another imitating Tony the Tiger when Dubya appointed that show-biz financier and social climber at Kellogg's -- and we haven't heard from him since. Hmmm, that may be a bad sign: he's giving the store away PRIVATELY.
AS SEEN ON TOPIX.COM (sorry for my formatting):
Costs Increase for USA Students
Tuition isn't going up, but the cost of going to the University of South Alabama will be 4.9 percent higher this fall. 6.4
Well, there's ALWAYS HARDEE'S.
Tuition isn't going up, but the cost of going to the University of South Alabama will be 4.9 percent higher this fall. 6.4
WRKH Mobile | 3 hours ago
Well, there's ALWAYS HARDEE'S.
Most in high school honors class say Deep Throat did wrong
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kristen Dooley, 16, suspected that Felt, then the FBI's No. 2 official, was acting out of spite because President Richard Nixon passed him over for the agency's top job. Charles Kozak, 16, said that, "if it was truly to benefit society, he wouldn't have kept his name secret."
Either these kids can think or they've been BRAINWASHED BY CONSERVATIVES. While it is often unlikely for kids to think and while liberals are better brainwashers, perhaps there is hope, but I don't want to get too insidery as THIS WHOLE BUSINESS ROTS.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kristen Dooley, 16, suspected that Felt, then the FBI's No. 2 official, was acting out of spite because President Richard Nixon passed him over for the agency's top job. Charles Kozak, 16, said that, "if it was truly to benefit society, he wouldn't have kept his name secret."
Either these kids can think or they've been BRAINWASHED BY CONSERVATIVES. While it is often unlikely for kids to think and while liberals are better brainwashers, perhaps there is hope, but I don't want to get too insidery as THIS WHOLE BUSINESS ROTS.
Now what is that comedian Condoleezza up to? Daring to criticize nations that traffic in SLAVES? We -- who run a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAG?????
Someone should remind the secretary that right only belongs to people on THE OTHER SIDE.
Someone should remind the secretary that right only belongs to people on THE OTHER SIDE.
Speaking thereof, the blankety-blank idiots at THE CORNER have been gassing WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO MUCH about MOVIES, but here's one the NRO folk have linked to on their home page -- for a reason:
LITTLE TOM CRUISE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE COUCH [John Podhoretz]
Brooke Shields is going after Tom Cruise at the right time. I happened to be watching his unbelievable "I love Katie Holmes" performance onOprah [typical Corner SIC] the other week and I began the countdown to his eventual starring role on CSI: Medicine Hat. In past years, when Cruise was represented by a brilliant PR executive named Pat Kingsley, there would be these moments when uncomfortable rumors would swirl around him. Just then, he would appear out of nowhere and pull somebody from a burning car or save somebody from a carjacking. This is not a joke. But he fired Pat Kingsley, and now he's leaping up and down on Oprah's couch and insulting women with post-partum depression because they take medication. Memo to Cruise: Go hire an extra, stage a drive-by shooting and rescue somebody. But quick.
Posted at 08:59 AM
LITTLE TOM CRUISE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE COUCH [John Podhoretz]
Brooke Shields is going after Tom Cruise at the right time. I happened to be watching his unbelievable "I love Katie Holmes" performance onOprah [typical Corner SIC] the other week and I began the countdown to his eventual starring role on CSI: Medicine Hat. In past years, when Cruise was represented by a brilliant PR executive named Pat Kingsley, there would be these moments when uncomfortable rumors would swirl around him. Just then, he would appear out of nowhere and pull somebody from a burning car or save somebody from a carjacking. This is not a joke. But he fired Pat Kingsley, and now he's leaping up and down on Oprah's couch and insulting women with post-partum depression because they take medication. Memo to Cruise: Go hire an extra, stage a drive-by shooting and rescue somebody. But quick.
Posted at 08:59 AM
JOOOOOO-NAH!!!!! Time for you to get ANNNNNNNNNNNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY:
Wal-Mart shows humility at annual meeting
Wal-Mart shows humility at annual meeting
Here's something astonishing: as I previously noted, The High and the Mighty is coming out on DVD -- in August -- and already it is number 3 in DVDs at Amazon.com, just behind Luke Spielberg's Trilogy. Amazing.
I reserved my copy. Now I have to get a new television.
I reserved my copy. Now I have to get a new television.
OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooh, MITT ROMNEY committed a CRIME: HE FAKED HIS PRO-CHOICE STANCE!!!!!
EXECUTE HIM!!!!!!!!!!
EXECUTE HIM!!!!!!!!!!
Democrats Got Abramoff Funds [home-page hed]
Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops!!!!!
Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops!!!!!
For God's sake, SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER, aren't those POP-UP ADS paying you enough?
Hey SUPER! What happened to one of your SPONSORS -- you know, GOP: THE CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION? You don't suppose SOMEONE FOUND OUT, DO YOU?????
Hey SUPER! What happened to one of your SPONSORS -- you know, GOP: THE CHOICE OF A NEW GENERATION? You don't suppose SOMEONE FOUND OUT, DO YOU?????
I was going to comment on this but then I saw THE PROFESSOR wrote it, and he has enough hits. But to reluctantly give him another, if people peak creatively early (a point not worth taking, especially given the genius of today's youth culture), what of a nation? America is in late middle age, and the arts reflect it. What happens when we get elderly?
WE'VE GOT TO GO BACK TO THE DAYS WHEN WE COULD STOP A WAR AND DITCH A PRESIDENT! AND IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT, SCREW 'EM!!!!!
Now Forrest -- who are you?
Oh, he's a "PAGE DESIGNER" at KNIGHTRIDDER. Sounds like YOU do TUFF JERNALISM.
Now Forrest -- who are you?
Oh, he's a "PAGE DESIGNER" at KNIGHTRIDDER. Sounds like YOU do TUFF JERNALISM.
I think if someone other than the SENSATIONAL MIKE RIEDEL wrote this we could come to the conclusion these WORTHY TONY AWARD NOMINEES STINK.
A Venn diagram with two circles almost overlapping: 1. People who care about the Tonys. 2. People who've been yakking about MR. FELT.
A Venn diagram with two circles almost overlapping: 1. People who care about the Tonys. 2. People who've been yakking about MR. FELT.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
It does no good to argue with a zealot like Don "I LUV BOONDOCKS" Wycliff. I have no respect for an organization founded by the ultra-crank Reed Irvine. But Don proceeds to make it a half-dozen of the other by arguing the "fake-but-accurate" line and the "we're not disloyal" defense, ignoring the whole history of the press and the Vietnam disaster and such things as THE OSAMA CHANNEL's culpability in Iraqi terrorism. If the idiot "Col." McCormick displayed his fraudulent patriotism by whapping the American flag on his front page, table-pounders like the BOONDOCKS MAN perform an equally loud and vulgar vaudeville act by ripping it off.
This is a non-event. How many sites still use the big four suffixes, .com, .org, .edu and .gov? Whatever happened to .tv? The newer ones haven't caught on, and neither will this, because the organized criminals of porn can recognize a hit when they see one.
A Novelty: A Pro-Biz SEC Chair?
I guess this means tomorrow every con-SER-va-tive site goes NUTS.
Christopher Cox seems like a decent man, but he IS a Republican, and when the FREE EN-TER-PRIZE BUG takes hold with Republicans, it's the usual reverse Robin Hood. He could be a good appointment; he could also be polishing his bona fides for some heavy duty TAUZINING. We shall see.
I guess this means tomorrow every con-SER-va-tive site goes NUTS.
Christopher Cox seems like a decent man, but he IS a Republican, and when the FREE EN-TER-PRIZE BUG takes hold with Republicans, it's the usual reverse Robin Hood. He could be a good appointment; he could also be polishing his bona fides for some heavy duty TAUZINING. We shall see.
Another home-schooler, I suppose -- and another TRYUMF for UHMEHRIKNN EHDYUKAYSHUN.
P. S. I WAS WRONG. But of the last 27 contestants six were. Okay, teachers unions, you win THIS time. But the margin was again uncomfortably narrow.
P. S. I WAS WRONG. But of the last 27 contestants six were. Okay, teachers unions, you win THIS time. But the margin was again uncomfortably narrow.
It beats inside baseball -- I suppose:
I could say where TOENAIL.COM went long ago, but I will resist it.
I could say where TOENAIL.COM went long ago, but I will resist it.
I would not be surprised if WACKO is found guilty. Nor would I be surprised if WACKO is found innocent.
Frankly, my dear, I'm not sure I give a damn.
Frankly, my dear, I'm not sure I give a damn.
CHAIRMAN FOOTINMOUTH YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHS:
He said he supports establishing a law "that says you cannot use a voting machine unless it can be recounted by hand." That line brought the longest sustained applause of the day, reflecting lingering bitterness after reports of voting problems in the close 2004 election.
I think you should support a law that says you cannot use a voting machine unless you and seven relatives have been dead for at least five years.
Or your name is OSAMA BIN LADEN.
He said he supports establishing a law "that says you cannot use a voting machine unless it can be recounted by hand." That line brought the longest sustained applause of the day, reflecting lingering bitterness after reports of voting problems in the close 2004 election.
I think you should support a law that says you cannot use a voting machine unless you and seven relatives have been dead for at least five years.
Or your name is OSAMA BIN LADEN.
Romy shakes his bobblehead AGAIN:
IF THE WASHINGTON POST WERE RUNNING ITS WATERGATE STORIES TODAY, EACH ONE WOULD BE FOLLOWED BY AN UNREMITTING BATTERY OF ATTACKS FROM LIMBAUGH, FOX AND DRUDGE TO DELIVER THE HALDEMAN-EHRLICHMAN SPIN AND SNEER AT THE PAPER'S LACK OF PATRIOTISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALAS:
Journalism's shining moment is long gone
IF THE WASHINGTON POST WERE RUNNING ITS WATERGATE STORIES TODAY, EACH ONE WOULD BE FOLLOWED BY AN UNREMITTING BATTERY OF ATTACKS FROM LIMBAUGH, FOX AND DRUDGE TO DELIVER THE HALDEMAN-EHRLICHMAN SPIN AND SNEER AT THE PAPER'S LACK OF PATRIOTISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALAS:
Journalism's shining moment is long gone
He's written DRUGGY ANNOYING SONGS ("SUMWUNKNOKNAHDOOH"), he's written an ORATORIO! Now Lord McCAHtney is "writing" a CHILDREN'S BOOK!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD ON THE RUN!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD ON THE RUN!
Milton Friedman is the CON-SER-VA-TIVE'S CON-SER-VA-TIVE; cite his name and you can justify ANYTHING. WELL, the NOBEL LAUREATE of the RIGHT is for POT LEGALIZATION, for the usual FREE-EN-TER-PRISE CON-SER-VA-TIVE REASONS. Hmmm, does that make him a CON-SER-VA-TIVE or a mere GLIBERTARIAN?
PROFESSOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PROFESSOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOME SEMI-LITERATE PUBLISHER SAYS OUR HERO COULD GET $1 MILLION "WRITING" A BOOK!!!!! BUT...
A concern about a new book by Felt would be its accuracy. The No. 2 at the FBI during a portion of the Nixon years had a mild stroke four years ago and the Vanity Fair article characterized his memory as one that comes and goes. Under those circumstances, and without precise diaries or personal journals, which may yet materialize, any book would be at best a rehash and at worst, unreliable, historians warn....
[A]cademics doubt that, even if Felt has the energy for a book, it would be of any real import. The tale would give new meaning to inside baseball, they say....
Other historians question whether the once closely guarded information is even true.
Hey what's a little fable spinning and inside-baseball playing when we RULE THE WORLD!
A concern about a new book by Felt would be its accuracy. The No. 2 at the FBI during a portion of the Nixon years had a mild stroke four years ago and the Vanity Fair article characterized his memory as one that comes and goes. Under those circumstances, and without precise diaries or personal journals, which may yet materialize, any book would be at best a rehash and at worst, unreliable, historians warn....
[A]cademics doubt that, even if Felt has the energy for a book, it would be of any real import. The tale would give new meaning to inside baseball, they say....
Other historians question whether the once closely guarded information is even true.
Hey what's a little fable spinning and inside-baseball playing when we RULE THE WORLD!
Hey TRUTH TELLERS: Here ANOTHER crusade for you:
LIVE 8 LINE-UP 'HIDEOUSLY WHITE'!!!!!!!!!!
Time to raise HOWELL RAINES from the dead!!!!!
LIVE 8 LINE-UP 'HIDEOUSLY WHITE'!!!!!!!!!!
Time to raise HOWELL RAINES from the dead!!!!!
Another CRUSADE for AMERICA'S TRUTH TELLERS:
DID PRESIDENT BUSH SHUN FEMALE REPORTERS AT PRESS CONFERENCE??????????
DID PRESIDENT BUSH SHUN FEMALE REPORTERS AT PRESS CONFERENCE??????????
Spain sets free alleged al-Qaida member
'BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! See you in GRINGOLAND!!!!!!!!!!
'BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! See you in GRINGOLAND!!!!!!!!!!
The Poynter people ought to change the name of ROMY's site to BELLY BUTTON. It's STARING in that direction.
A car bomb exploded in a Christian area of Beirut Thursday, killing a prominent journalist known for his opposition to Syria's involvement in Lebanon, according Lebanese Prime Minister Najib Mikati.
I wonder who did THIS one.
I wonder who did THIS one.
This isn't just the media trying to protect their franchise.
FRANCHISE. There's a word we use with MICKEY D'S, or BAD MOVIES. No, the way they are nowadays, most daily rags are FRANCHISES, turning out a daily slop of bias, prejudice, self-congratulation, and many types of ADVERTISING.
FRANCHISE. There's a word we use with MICKEY D'S, or BAD MOVIES. No, the way they are nowadays, most daily rags are FRANCHISES, turning out a daily slop of bias, prejudice, self-congratulation, and many types of ADVERTISING.
Kofigate claims its first scapegoat.
But he planned to retire anyway. Call it a nice going-away gift.
But he planned to retire anyway. Call it a nice going-away gift.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Well, if there's any consolation for not getting hits anymore, it's that the "Next Blog" feature on KADIDDLEBLOG's toolbar is now synonymous with SPYWARE.
I LOVE COMPREHENSIVENESS IN NEWS: SBC is offering a real discount on DSL -- and nowhere in this press release does our typist mention YOU CAN ONLY GET IT IN THIRTEEN STATES.
The principal of Jefferson High School agreed Tuesday to step down amid criticism by city and school district officials over his handling of a spate of student brawls that many say have been fueled by racial tensions.
Principals SHOULD pay when they can't keep their THUGS under control.
Principals SHOULD pay when they can't keep their THUGS under control.
Ranking cadet sends e-mail with religious tones
HE SHOULD BE EXECUTED!!!!!
Jurewicz? Is that converted-Jewish or merely Polish?
HE SHOULD BE EXECUTED!!!!!
Jurewicz? Is that converted-Jewish or merely Polish?
What we'll miss when all those PAPER OF RE-CORD OP-ED GENIUSES go behind THE WALL:
Devoid of Content
And this is Perfesser Stan "I'm-Not-a-Liberal-and-Anyone-Who-Thinks-I-Am Should-Be-Shot" Fish, so we ALWAYS knew that.
Devoid of Content
And this is Perfesser Stan "I'm-Not-a-Liberal-and-Anyone-Who-Thinks-I-Am Should-Be-Shot" Fish, so we ALWAYS knew that.
The Dutch, who, in the days before they abandoned common sense, supported our fledgling Republic, show a renewed burst of sense.
Nicolas Ilaria, an immigrant from Suriname, said he was voting no. "In principle, I'm against bureaucracy and I don't believe everything is working well now," he said as he read a newspaper at an Amsterdam cafe.
Now THAT's sense -- the statement, I mean.
Nicolas Ilaria, an immigrant from Suriname, said he was voting no. "In principle, I'm against bureaucracy and I don't believe everything is working well now," he said as he read a newspaper at an Amsterdam cafe.
Now THAT's sense -- the statement, I mean.
TRUTH AND JUSTICE TRIUMPH AGAIN:
Victor Navasky, publisher and former editor of The Nation, has been working behind the scenes in a key, if uncredited, role at the Columbia Journalism Review, CJR executive editor Michael Hoyt told E&P Wednesday.
"It's been gradual," Hoyt told E&P.
Indeed, since, oh, 1962 -- when the RAG was founded.
As for whether having the longtime editor of a magazine with a famously political (liberal) bent involved in the administration of CJR, Hoyt said appearances might not match with reality. "It could give somebody an opportunity to make a connection, but the connection is not there," Hoyt said. "He doesn't push anything editorially."
I would say this fits the classic definiton of "delusional."
Victor Navasky, publisher and former editor of The Nation, has been working behind the scenes in a key, if uncredited, role at the Columbia Journalism Review, CJR executive editor Michael Hoyt told E&P Wednesday.
"It's been gradual," Hoyt told E&P.
Indeed, since, oh, 1962 -- when the RAG was founded.
As for whether having the longtime editor of a magazine with a famously political (liberal) bent involved in the administration of CJR, Hoyt said appearances might not match with reality. "It could give somebody an opportunity to make a connection, but the connection is not there," Hoyt said. "He doesn't push anything editorially."
I would say this fits the classic definiton of "delusional."
The TWO SIDES of the SUPERTECHNOBABBITT MIKE DELL: He COPRODUCED the LATEST BATMAN DROPPINGS -- it's in His CIRCULAR (and presumably ALL AUSTIN'S SUBURBS will NEVER STOP HEARING OF IT) -- AND...
Gooood awfternooon, thunk eyooo for cawllln DUHLL Customaww Sawerviss, may I huhlp yoooh?
Gooood awfternooon, thunk eyooo for cawllln DUHLL Customaww Sawerviss, may I huhlp yoooh?
OH, SHUT UP MINUS FIVE...OH, SHUT UP MINUS FOUR...OH, SHUT UP MINUS THREE...OH, SHUT UP MINUS TWO....
Repeat after me: NETWORK TV is NO LONGER a MASS MEDIUM. Want some facts? 8.97 million divided by 296,256,266 (my latest number) is 3.03 percent. WHY MUST YOU STILL IMPERSONATE ROBIN HOOD WITH OUR MONEY, MADAVE CRETINS?
More @#$%&* ARTSJOURNAL.COM: We'll take Terry Teachout's word that Alex Ross is an intelligent writer, but he writes for The New Yorker, and here he indulges himself in 4,981 words. Isn't it a little late in the day to whine how recording "ruined" music? First off, we all know great works old and newer (we can't say "new") thanks to recordings. Second, who really wants to closet himself in a concert hall or jazz club anymore, with all the attendant inconvenience and expense? Third, why should we whine about recording when there's so little worth recording, for reasons that may not have to do with technology?
Mr. Classical-Music-is-Dead says the MUSICAL IS ALIVE!!!!!, which makes me wonder if HE knows anything either.
@#$%&* ARTSJOURNAL.COM!
@#$%&* ARTSJOURNAL.COM!
Paul Begala, Keith Olbermann, POWER LINE, Andrew Sullivan....the one advantage about a Web-based society is that it takes less time to scorn people.
Another RINGing endorsement for TV ADVERTISING:
Boxing reality show The Contender has wrapped up its season on NBC, but failed to deliver the knockout punch that marketers had hoped for.
According to executives in Hollywood and on Madison Avenue, Toyota Motor Sales USA was particularly burned by the show's poor ratings performance after signing a $16 million media and product-integration deal. The deal's price tag was reported to have been the highest fee ever paid by a marketer for such a deal.
The automaker spent a reported $6 million on the rights to be the exclusive car sponsor of the show, and an additional $10 million on airtime.
And here's the PUNCHline:
The company couldn’t get any ratings guarantees or turn to the network for a "make good" when it didn’t.
It's official: Toyota KNOCKS OUT the CLUNKER BROTHERS when it comes to FLINGING MONEY OUT ITS DOORS!
Boxing reality show The Contender has wrapped up its season on NBC, but failed to deliver the knockout punch that marketers had hoped for.
According to executives in Hollywood and on Madison Avenue, Toyota Motor Sales USA was particularly burned by the show's poor ratings performance after signing a $16 million media and product-integration deal. The deal's price tag was reported to have been the highest fee ever paid by a marketer for such a deal.
The automaker spent a reported $6 million on the rights to be the exclusive car sponsor of the show, and an additional $10 million on airtime.
And here's the PUNCHline:
The company couldn’t get any ratings guarantees or turn to the network for a "make good" when it didn’t.
It's official: Toyota KNOCKS OUT the CLUNKER BROTHERS when it comes to FLINGING MONEY OUT ITS DOORS!
Figures -- the founder of SLUTSVILLE is being sued by her former manager, who claims she STIFFED HIM.
How do such people get to be HEROES WITH NEWS HACKS?
How do such people get to be HEROES WITH NEWS HACKS?
Today I guess we're going to hand out LOTS of NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARDS! First goes to ELAINE for SELLING UNRATED VIDEOS -- and the next goes to ANNE for SELLING WOODSTER THE PERV!
WHY MUST SO MANY SCRIBBLERS MOONLIGHT AS SALESMEN?????
WHY MUST SO MANY SCRIBBLERS MOONLIGHT AS SALESMEN?????
THE GREAT STONE FACE OF ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS IS MAD.
For starters, STONE, Woodstein didn't try to negotiate with the Vietnamese -- and WOODSTEIN didn't take home A NOBEL PRIZE. AND WOODSTEIN WASN'T PRESIDENT WHEN WE WITHDREW IGNOMINIOUSLY FROM ASIA. AND WOODSTEIN DIDN'T ORGANIZE A THIRD-RATE BURGLARY.
SHUT UP, STONE. We don't want to hear any more about YOUR HERO, we don't want to hear any more about THIS VILLAIN, and we don't want to hear any more from YOU.
For starters, STONE, Woodstein didn't try to negotiate with the Vietnamese -- and WOODSTEIN didn't take home A NOBEL PRIZE. AND WOODSTEIN WASN'T PRESIDENT WHEN WE WITHDREW IGNOMINIOUSLY FROM ASIA. AND WOODSTEIN DIDN'T ORGANIZE A THIRD-RATE BURGLARY.
SHUT UP, STONE. We don't want to hear any more about YOUR HERO, we don't want to hear any more about THIS VILLAIN, and we don't want to hear any more from YOU.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
ROMY assumes that THINKER POSE -- AGAIN:
What is intellectual theft for journalists? asks Wasserman
I'd say it's just -- BEING YOU.
What is intellectual theft for journalists? asks Wasserman
I'd say it's just -- BEING YOU.
As Americans all over say, "WHO?" (sometimes amended with "CARES"), and PUNDITS and SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS whip themselves up into a FRENZY of INSIDER THINKING, I am GLAD WE WON'T HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT THIS ANY MORE.
P. S. This popped up on my computer with the window and tab caption, "Small-454 Graphics Template." That's what this is -- SMALL.
P. P. S. Smaller still are the NEWS HACKS who ENDLESSLY SPECULATED about this FOLDEROL -- and (as is part of the Guild's obligations) ALWAYS GOT IT WRONG.
P. S. This popped up on my computer with the window and tab caption, "Small-454 Graphics Template." That's what this is -- SMALL.
P. P. S. Smaller still are the NEWS HACKS who ENDLESSLY SPECULATED about this FOLDEROL -- and (as is part of the Guild's obligations) ALWAYS GOT IT WRONG.
Today THE PAPER OF RE-CORD commemorates the Johnstown Flood by running part of the original story from its front page, which makes us reflect that despite an occasional pallid simile (and those we can forgive) maybe news writing wasn't so much worse then than it's alleged to be NOW.
Romy bobbles his bobblehead again to this great pile of profundity:
We have an interpretation gap. There's a natural tension between freedom and sedition that is as old as this country (even during wars). One side has always argued that dissent makes this country stronger, while the other has claimed we should rally around our leaders and the military (sometimes even being willing to jail those who cannot agree).
We may never bridge the gap. Some of us will look at such cartoons, get the point and think of ways U.S. institutions can be made stronger. Others will look at the same sketch, get angry and demand repudiation.
This gap is so wide that it may never be bridged; maybe it's a divide that will always exist in this country. We value freedom too much, the very reason why the First Amendment is incorporated into our founding documents. We laugh, get angry, agree, disagree, write e-mails, make phone calls, cancel a newspaper subscription or find a new favorite cartoonist. It is this contradiction that's the value we share.
Some "editorial-page" chief automatic pilot wrote these words in his sleep. Please, if you're going to defend YOUR side, DEFEND IT. Don't use weasel words, don't cop out. I quote from Ben Jonson AGAIN:
He that will sweare, Ieronimo, or Andronicus are the best playes, yet, shall passe vnexcepted at, here, as a man whose Iudgement shewes it is constant, and hath stood still, these fiue and twentie, or thirtie yeeres. Though it be an Ignorance, it is a vertuous and stay'd ignorance; and next to truth, a confirm'd errour does well; such a one the Author knowes where to finde him.
That's the problem when the HACKS go into their EITHER-OR mode; we don't know where to find them -- though THERE they be, hiding behind a post. At least when Ann Coulter and THE GLIBERAL blather, they unveil their prejudices to all the world, like a flasher. I repeat, either you ARE or you AREN'T. YOU CAN'T BE BOTH.
We have an interpretation gap. There's a natural tension between freedom and sedition that is as old as this country (even during wars). One side has always argued that dissent makes this country stronger, while the other has claimed we should rally around our leaders and the military (sometimes even being willing to jail those who cannot agree).
We may never bridge the gap. Some of us will look at such cartoons, get the point and think of ways U.S. institutions can be made stronger. Others will look at the same sketch, get angry and demand repudiation.
This gap is so wide that it may never be bridged; maybe it's a divide that will always exist in this country. We value freedom too much, the very reason why the First Amendment is incorporated into our founding documents. We laugh, get angry, agree, disagree, write e-mails, make phone calls, cancel a newspaper subscription or find a new favorite cartoonist. It is this contradiction that's the value we share.
Some "editorial-page" chief automatic pilot wrote these words in his sleep. Please, if you're going to defend YOUR side, DEFEND IT. Don't use weasel words, don't cop out. I quote from Ben Jonson AGAIN:
He that will sweare, Ieronimo, or Andronicus are the best playes, yet, shall passe vnexcepted at, here, as a man whose Iudgement shewes it is constant, and hath stood still, these fiue and twentie, or thirtie yeeres. Though it be an Ignorance, it is a vertuous and stay'd ignorance; and next to truth, a confirm'd errour does well; such a one the Author knowes where to finde him.
That's the problem when the HACKS go into their EITHER-OR mode; we don't know where to find them -- though THERE they be, hiding behind a post. At least when Ann Coulter and THE GLIBERAL blather, they unveil their prejudices to all the world, like a flasher. I repeat, either you ARE or you AREN'T. YOU CAN'T BE BOTH.
In other news of show-biz love and romance:
Actor Christian Slater arrested for allegedly groping a woman
For God's sake, what did he do most actors DON'T?
Actor Christian Slater arrested for allegedly groping a woman
For God's sake, what did he do most actors DON'T?
A columnist who shares a name with OMERTA (just missing an H) OPENS HIS MOUTH, AND:
The media are under attack because we try to find stuff out. We are under attack because we say what we believe to be true. (Even more annoyingly, we are protected by the Constitution.) We are a reality-based institution in a faith-based culture, and we are paying for it. Journalists die doing their jobs, which is more than you can say for lobbyists, TV commentators or corporate lawyers.
The problem is that we are fair-minded. We know that we make mistakes. We want to get better. The fair-minded have no chance against zealots. Zealots lie because the ends justify the means, and we say, "Oh, gosh, we're going to investigate and strive and improve." Are the zealots going to investigate and strive and improve? Of course not: They have an agenda, and the agenda does not include self-assessment. The zealots are working out of the Che Guevara handbook, friends.
Do the media do awful stuff? You bet they do. Should the media strive to get better? You bet they should. Should they stop cravenly caving in to every hack with a megaphone? Absolutely -- we do our best, and without us, citizens would really be in trouble. We're a goddamn bastion, and it would be nice if we acted proud of that once in a while.
And also, if I could say, what we do is very hard. Not me; I just sit at home in my bunny slippers woolgathering about red-necked phalaropes.
Someone who believes that a JERNALIST's death in war is MORE TRAGIC than a soldier's (most JERNALISTS do) probably ought to sit at home in his bunny slippers woolgathering about red-necked phalaropes.
By the way, wouldn't it be more accurate to say the zealots work out of the Joe Goebbels handbook? Just a suggestion.
ROMY shakes his bobblehead again.
The media are under attack because we try to find stuff out. We are under attack because we say what we believe to be true. (Even more annoyingly, we are protected by the Constitution.) We are a reality-based institution in a faith-based culture, and we are paying for it. Journalists die doing their jobs, which is more than you can say for lobbyists, TV commentators or corporate lawyers.
The problem is that we are fair-minded. We know that we make mistakes. We want to get better. The fair-minded have no chance against zealots. Zealots lie because the ends justify the means, and we say, "Oh, gosh, we're going to investigate and strive and improve." Are the zealots going to investigate and strive and improve? Of course not: They have an agenda, and the agenda does not include self-assessment. The zealots are working out of the Che Guevara handbook, friends.
Do the media do awful stuff? You bet they do. Should the media strive to get better? You bet they should. Should they stop cravenly caving in to every hack with a megaphone? Absolutely -- we do our best, and without us, citizens would really be in trouble. We're a goddamn bastion, and it would be nice if we acted proud of that once in a while.
And also, if I could say, what we do is very hard. Not me; I just sit at home in my bunny slippers woolgathering about red-necked phalaropes.
Someone who believes that a JERNALIST's death in war is MORE TRAGIC than a soldier's (most JERNALISTS do) probably ought to sit at home in his bunny slippers woolgathering about red-necked phalaropes.
By the way, wouldn't it be more accurate to say the zealots work out of the Joe Goebbels handbook? Just a suggestion.
ROMY shakes his bobblehead again.
Elsewhere in the world of what is alleged to be music, an ad-blurb copywriter gets excited because FIVE TUNELESS BANDS HAVE RACKED UP SALES!!!!!
Okay flack, let's add up your numbers -- 271,563 + 464,559 + 453,488 + 283,331 + 269,338 = 1,742,279. Knowing how the record mafia inflates numbers that's still very much less than ten percent of what WACKO supposedly did with his "MASTERPIECE" -- and most of these prematurely deaf fans buy multiple albums. I'm IMPRESSED.
And a special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD for the finger-calisthenics practitioner who typed: "DON'T KNOCK THE ROCK: CD SALES SURGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You have a future -- only we hope it isn't in the NEWS BIZ.
Okay flack, let's add up your numbers -- 271,563 + 464,559 + 453,488 + 283,331 + 269,338 = 1,742,279. Knowing how the record mafia inflates numbers that's still very much less than ten percent of what WACKO supposedly did with his "MASTERPIECE" -- and most of these prematurely deaf fans buy multiple albums. I'm IMPRESSED.
And a special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD for the finger-calisthenics practitioner who typed: "DON'T KNOCK THE ROCK: CD SALES SURGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You have a future -- only we hope it isn't in the NEWS BIZ.
Meanwhile, in an interview Larry the Court Jester couldn't snatch, Joe Jackson says he's had trouble sleeping lately -- strange as EVERYONE ELSE caused this TRIAL.
This guy will never be able to look himself in the mirror and see HIS SON.
Not that he may want to.
This guy will never be able to look himself in the mirror and see HIS SON.
Not that he may want to.
Iraq insurgency in 'last throes,' Cheney says
Let us hope so. NEWS HACKS let Dick have it for his what the boys at EAU DE TOILET called an ARROGANT BLUNDER; to this day they still high-five Jonny Alter in that luxury news suite. To be sure, had NEWS HACKS gotten their way we'd be out of Iraq -- and holy cockroaches would be in.
P. S. I guess "wide-ranging" is another way you justify yourself for all the money you pay that creepy sycophant.
Let us hope so. NEWS HACKS let Dick have it for his what the boys at EAU DE TOILET called an ARROGANT BLUNDER; to this day they still high-five Jonny Alter in that luxury news suite. To be sure, had NEWS HACKS gotten their way we'd be out of Iraq -- and holy cockroaches would be in.
P. S. I guess "wide-ranging" is another way you justify yourself for all the money you pay that creepy sycophant.
Monday, May 30, 2005
PAUL DRECK's panicking. Two weeks ago he said his friend LUKE SPIELBERG would bring us out of the slump with His FX and His marketing, and His toadying ad-blurb salesmen writing raves, and thence lead us into the Promised Land of B. O., so what happens? Two down weeks with His movie -- and fourteen overall. What are we going to do? I've got it, Paul -- MAKE UP MORE NUMBERS!
Saith the Dreckman:
"It takes a lot more to excite people today, and the crop of movies this year other than `Star Wars' and the movies that opened this weekend haven't inspired audiences to make that step and go to the theaters."
If you didn't work for SAMMY GLICKMAN and for all those HACKS who are TOO LAZY TO REPORT, we'd translate this as follows:
MOVIES STINK.
Saith the Dreckman:
"It takes a lot more to excite people today, and the crop of movies this year other than `Star Wars' and the movies that opened this weekend haven't inspired audiences to make that step and go to the theaters."
If you didn't work for SAMMY GLICKMAN and for all those HACKS who are TOO LAZY TO REPORT, we'd translate this as follows:
MOVIES STINK.
A mobile phone ring tone based on an imitation of the sound of a Swedish moped is expected to become the leading music single in Britain.
Can people tell the sound of a moped from the singles?
Can people tell the sound of a moped from the singles?
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:
THE longest debate on the floor of the state House of Representatives this year was not about capital punishment or civil unions for gay couples.
It was about whether to remove soft drinks and candy bars from public-school vending machines, stores and cafeterias.
Proponents, nearly all Democrats, argued that banning products of minimal nutritional value would help combat childhood obesity. But critics, mostly Republican, painted the bill as "feel good" legislation that would do little to fix the problem. For eight straight hours on May 18, they derided their colleagues for second-guessing local superintendents and school boards and conjured up images of children bootlegging Hershey bars and cases of Coke from school parking lots.
Why must things be either-or? Why must we be knee-jerk on both sides? Why is it the only people who display "independence" of thinking are infernal wobblers like Sen. McPain, or charlatans like Slick?
THE longest debate on the floor of the state House of Representatives this year was not about capital punishment or civil unions for gay couples.
It was about whether to remove soft drinks and candy bars from public-school vending machines, stores and cafeterias.
Proponents, nearly all Democrats, argued that banning products of minimal nutritional value would help combat childhood obesity. But critics, mostly Republican, painted the bill as "feel good" legislation that would do little to fix the problem. For eight straight hours on May 18, they derided their colleagues for second-guessing local superintendents and school boards and conjured up images of children bootlegging Hershey bars and cases of Coke from school parking lots.
Why must things be either-or? Why must we be knee-jerk on both sides? Why is it the only people who display "independence" of thinking are infernal wobblers like Sen. McPain, or charlatans like Slick?
I would love to know why these last two weeks my hits have dried up. I'm convinced G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER has something to do with it, with its quixotic administration of the "Next Blog" function on its toolbar; but I've given up getting a straight answer from the Clem Kadiddlehoppers of Mountain View as they regard their redoubt as a CIA of capitalism -- which in some unflattering ways it is. I may switch blog services anyway, though I've had no reason to complain with the Clems -- for once.
LITTLE HOWIE HAIRSHIRT MAKES STERNO FAMOUS IN THE WAPOST!!!!!
A story like this should not run for the same reason THE PAPER OF RE-CORD should not have let that toady Laura allow the wife of a former staffer to plug a movie. This whole episode reeks of backscratching; clearly Little Howie LIKES the guy, and had planned this for some time. To complete the puzzle he doesn't at all question how a BIGMEDIA man can suddenly change his stripes. He hasn't; his last two jobs have been with BIGMEDIA. There's too much favor granting by HACKS, whether it's the anonymous source seeing his revenge plastered on the front page, or the show-biz groupie seeking virtual sex through rave reviews. THIS is why we've come to hate the hacks, and it has little in common with THE DO-NOT-CALL LAW.
A story like this should not run for the same reason THE PAPER OF RE-CORD should not have let that toady Laura allow the wife of a former staffer to plug a movie. This whole episode reeks of backscratching; clearly Little Howie LIKES the guy, and had planned this for some time. To complete the puzzle he doesn't at all question how a BIGMEDIA man can suddenly change his stripes. He hasn't; his last two jobs have been with BIGMEDIA. There's too much favor granting by HACKS, whether it's the anonymous source seeing his revenge plastered on the front page, or the show-biz groupie seeking virtual sex through rave reviews. THIS is why we've come to hate the hacks, and it has little in common with THE DO-NOT-CALL LAW.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
THE PAPER OF RE-CORD runs a thumbsucker about COMPROMISE, so what does it do? It runs a picture of the VERY COMPROMISING LBJ -- and captions it:
Senator Lyndon B. Johnson, in 1958 -- with a Republican. [Emphasis added.]
Yep, that guy sure compromised -- and nearly took us with him.
Senator Lyndon B. Johnson, in 1958 -- with a Republican. [Emphasis added.]
Yep, that guy sure compromised -- and nearly took us with him.
Speaking of DAMN, had this WOMAN WON at Indy we'd NEVER have heard the END of it -- it would have been sheer POLITICAL INDOCTRINATION for the next THREE DAYS, similar to what happened when Anna What's-Her-Name qualified in a men's golf tournament. If this be NEWS I'd rather be IGNORANT.
Many years ago John Adams (John Who?) said of July 4,
"I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great
anniversary festival....[I]t ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other...."
John Adams had cause to celebrate; he helped found a nation. His heirs of the next century had cause to celebrate; they brought the nation to maturity after a costly Civil War. Those the century after had cause to celebrate: they successfully fought two world wars. What do we have to celebrate? Despite our easy wins over the forces of evil they left a sinister unspoken message they'd be back. And what do we have to fight for? RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S airhead girlfriend? Luke Spielberg? [C]RAP? The maroons of Congress?
I sigh ineffectually because on the top of its front page KnightRidder's Dinky Inky celebrates that the damfool Bob Geldof is bringing one of his dubious relief fundraisers to our town, with what the Dink alleges to be "big acts" (though he and it don't name them), and they'll be in the middle of the Independence weekend, and I think, these clowns wouldn't know the Declaration of Independence if it went in on side of their thick skulls and out the other. All this means more traffic, and more self-congratulation, and more MUTED questions about where the money's going (WHAT HAPPENED WITH LIVE AID I?), but the Dinky Inky MUST run this piece of PR junk because it thinks it will sell papers. Or as some hack named Klein must type, "It will be July 2 on Ben Franklin Parkway, in the middle of the city's JAM-PACKED!!!!! Fourth of July festivities...." "Jam-packed" is a reason the sooner computers write and edit our papers THE BETTER.
P. S. The next time the Dinky Inky feels the compulsion to sell coming on it should ape its corporate cousins in Detroit. Running an ad on the front page has the virtue of HONEST SELLING.
OR:
"I haven't seen the advertisement that covers 1A of today's Free Press, but I'm even more outraged by what's actually on 1A. Half the front page is devoted to a readers' survey of who the Detroit Pistons' most valuable player is."
Who says a paper has to report what you NEED to know?
P. P. S.
The only good thing about looking this up on DinkyInky.com is that we get to see that beautiful behind again.
"I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great
anniversary festival....[I]t ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other...."
John Adams had cause to celebrate; he helped found a nation. His heirs of the next century had cause to celebrate; they brought the nation to maturity after a costly Civil War. Those the century after had cause to celebrate: they successfully fought two world wars. What do we have to celebrate? Despite our easy wins over the forces of evil they left a sinister unspoken message they'd be back. And what do we have to fight for? RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S airhead girlfriend? Luke Spielberg? [C]RAP? The maroons of Congress?
I sigh ineffectually because on the top of its front page KnightRidder's Dinky Inky celebrates that the damfool Bob Geldof is bringing one of his dubious relief fundraisers to our town, with what the Dink alleges to be "big acts" (though he and it don't name them), and they'll be in the middle of the Independence weekend, and I think, these clowns wouldn't know the Declaration of Independence if it went in on side of their thick skulls and out the other. All this means more traffic, and more self-congratulation, and more MUTED questions about where the money's going (WHAT HAPPENED WITH LIVE AID I?), but the Dinky Inky MUST run this piece of PR junk because it thinks it will sell papers. Or as some hack named Klein must type, "It will be July 2 on Ben Franklin Parkway, in the middle of the city's JAM-PACKED!!!!! Fourth of July festivities...." "Jam-packed" is a reason the sooner computers write and edit our papers THE BETTER.
P. S. The next time the Dinky Inky feels the compulsion to sell coming on it should ape its corporate cousins in Detroit. Running an ad on the front page has the virtue of HONEST SELLING.
OR:
"I haven't seen the advertisement that covers 1A of today's Free Press, but I'm even more outraged by what's actually on 1A. Half the front page is devoted to a readers' survey of who the Detroit Pistons' most valuable player is."
Who says a paper has to report what you NEED to know?
P. P. S.
The only good thing about looking this up on DinkyInky.com is that we get to see that beautiful behind again.
Another HERO for the GLIBERAL to column BEHIND THE WALL BY:
Mother indicted for hiring stripper for son's birthday party
"Who are they to tell me what I can and can't show to my own children?" the mother said.
I think we have a motto for TV WATCH!!!!!
STERNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mother indicted for hiring stripper for son's birthday party
"Who are they to tell me what I can and can't show to my own children?" the mother said.
I think we have a motto for TV WATCH!!!!!
STERNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PINCH stumbles and pratfalls onto something -- in an article about sex manuals -- in THE LAST TWO GRAFS:
As the sex books become ever more steamy, some publishers, even the more venturesome, are already thinking of backing away. "There are still places you can go with these books," Ms. Regan suggested, "but I don't want to go there."
"Social regulation, courtship, flowers, romance, those are things that seem newer right now," she added, "Maybe the only place to go is to get prudish again."
Either way this is IDIOCY: the idiocy of PINCH trying not to seem like the RIGID INTOLERANT IDEOLOGUE, the idiocy of the RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! assistant trying to toady to CONSERVATIVES. Either way, IT WON'T WASH.
As the sex books become ever more steamy, some publishers, even the more venturesome, are already thinking of backing away. "There are still places you can go with these books," Ms. Regan suggested, "but I don't want to go there."
"Social regulation, courtship, flowers, romance, those are things that seem newer right now," she added, "Maybe the only place to go is to get prudish again."
Either way this is IDIOCY: the idiocy of PINCH trying not to seem like the RIGID INTOLERANT IDEOLOGUE, the idiocy of the RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! assistant trying to toady to CONSERVATIVES. Either way, IT WON'T WASH.
Some See 'Moral Values' Hijacked by the Right
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?
The only time a news hack goes to church is when he hears HIS GOSPEL.
P. S. ESPNCORPNETWORKNEWS.com tells us this story ran on TV May 21, which tells us it's not news, even if it's atop the home page.
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?
The only time a news hack goes to church is when he hears HIS GOSPEL.
P. S. ESPNCORPNETWORKNEWS.com tells us this story ran on TV May 21, which tells us it's not news, even if it's atop the home page.
So Denny's a hack pol. Who knew?
So St. Warren won't come down on Democrats. Who knew?
Hacks may think they're winning P-Ulitzers with such prose, but the increasingly impatient reader only thinks people somewhere are grinding axes, axes that may go dull when necessary, and he's annoyed by the sound.
So St. Warren won't come down on Democrats. Who knew?
Hacks may think they're winning P-Ulitzers with such prose, but the increasingly impatient reader only thinks people somewhere are grinding axes, axes that may go dull when necessary, and he's annoyed by the sound.
ANOTHER IDEOLOGICAL PRETZEL: Texas will execute you for stealing a pack of gum. The state legislature has just passed a law allowing life without parole. Gov's keeping mum, presumably because executing people for stealing a pack of gum is good politics. "Death penalty opponents" hope it passes so that they can get their jollies creating martyrs while endorsing abortion, as many do.
And politics continues ever onward, the smirk unwipable from its face.
And politics continues ever onward, the smirk unwipable from its face.
The Republican court nominees should be people with the mental toughness to withstand the pressures to wobble. The leaders of the legal and media professions are "Living Constitution" types who dole out applause and honors to those who invent new constitutional rights and penalties to those who don't. For his role in conjuring up the Roe decision out of emanations and penumbras, the lackluster Harry Blackmun is lionized and hailed as "a feminist icon" in a new book, Becoming Justice Blackmun, by Linda Greenhouse, the New York Times Supreme Court reporter. ("The Greenhouse effect," referring to the warm reciprocity between court reporters and justices who meet with their approval, is named for her.) An example of the penalties for dissent is the treatment of Justice Antonin Scalia at Amherst College last year: The announcement that he would speak drew heated protests and written condemnation from 16 professors, including four who taught legal courses but didn't believe that a Supreme Court justice they disagree with should be heard. Changing the court will be an uphill struggle. The naming of pleasant centrists won't do the job.
NUF SAID.
NUF SAID.
Smithsonian to Screen a Movie That Makes a Case Against Evolution
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
I'm not sure the Smithsonian should lend its name even indirectly to the contentious business of intelligent design; after all, it's lent its name directly to PC HISTORY. On the other hand, we know the LIBERALS' attitude: "Whatever it is, we're AGAINST IT!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
I'm not sure the Smithsonian should lend its name even indirectly to the contentious business of intelligent design; after all, it's lent its name directly to PC HISTORY. On the other hand, we know the LIBERALS' attitude: "Whatever it is, we're AGAINST IT!"
Thank GOD some CONSERVATIVES take OUR SIDE!!!!!
Like Grover Norquist, SLEAZY FRIEND of SLEAZY ARABS.
After L'AFFAIRE DE TOILETTE it appears NOTHING has changed at BLUNDER; we're still out to get conservatives and Republicans, and use our evidence selectively.
OR:
Our television stations produce high-quality local news and information programming and strive to be constructive members of their communities.
Nothing about the REST of the broadcast day, ST. WARREN! HARDY-HAR-HAR!!!!!
Meantime to prove we RESTROOM SCOOPERS are MORAL, we come down hard on kids turning twenty-one drunk. Proof there are SOME causes for which we NEED GOVERNMENT. Never mind kids get drunk at twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, SIXTEEN....
Which reminds us, so long as there are Devin Gordons, there will be Hitler Diaries, and Joe Kleins, and TOILET BOWLS.
From a DUNGEON of DEAFNESS:
How to Keep Your Hearing
A LITTLE BIT LOUDER, PLEASE!!!!!
Thank God (er, ST. WARREN) Luke Spielberg's other film is coming up -- and THIS TIME it's on OUR COVER! HEAR THAT, MR. MARK?????
Whatever happened to MIKE ISIKOFF? Nothing, as we suspected. EVERYTHING JUST LIKE BEFORE, MR. MARK?????????? CAN YOU HEAR US???????????????