THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, August 21, 2004
What if anything is going through John "Rosemary Clooney is Square" Rockwell's mind? Perhaps he realizes he isn't getting any younger (unlike most current or former rock music ad-blurb copywriters); perhaps he realizes he, along with his fellow cretins at THE PAPER OF RECORD, has palmed off too much ugliness as BEAUTY, either for its political correctness or its trendiness. Given the hideous fads PINCH'S HACKS have championed, from graffiti to "THE GREATEST WORK OF AMERICAN POP CULTURE OF THE PAST QUARTER CENTURY," we should always be suspicious when a leading 10-watt light for an organization that single-handedly defined "effete snob" comes out with even a halting endorsement of beauty in art. For as we hardened PAPER OF RECORD detractors know, to everything at the PUZZLE PALACE OF MANHATTAN there is an ulterior motive, and it often isn't a PRETTY one.
What do newspaper comics and pop music have in common? Many people refuse to admit THEY STINK, and THAT'S why they're in trouble.
The drawing which goes with the story says it all. Forget the mediocre artwork; when did a newspaper office last see typewriters and rotary phones and suspenders and hats (and CIGARETTES), and a rag running such a big Sunday strip -- not to mention it's "KRAZY KAT"?
She must have been hallucinating -- in another century.
A native-American (can't call it INDIAN) tribe bans gay marriage.
You're a news hack. Which side do you take?
You're a news hack. Which side do you take?
GE Bancorp's IOC subsid is never too far from Hitler -- in the rings, the torch relay, or its attitude toward bloggers.
Hmmm, looks like American players have no monopoly on ATTITUDE.
But then, look where he got it.
P. S.:
Is Chinese basketball star Yao Ming acting like an ugly American?
Did you scribble this, OMERTA?
But then, look where he got it.
P. S.:
Is Chinese basketball star Yao Ming acting like an ugly American?
Did you scribble this, OMERTA?
Chicago Tribune Editor and Former Swift Boat Commander Breaks Silence; Says Kerry Critics Wrong
HOWEVER:
NOTE: William Rood will not be available for further comment or interviews. Deputy Managing Editor George de Lama and reporter Tim Jones are available.
It would not be fair to prejudge this editor; Vietnam remains a nagging wound in many psyches (look at DIPPITY-DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!). But it does seem odd that a FIRST AMENDMENT DEFENDER would seek solace in the land of NO COMMENT, like so many of his colleagues -- a privilege the crusaders do not often extend to their victims.
HOWEVER:
NOTE: William Rood will not be available for further comment or interviews. Deputy Managing Editor George de Lama and reporter Tim Jones are available.
It would not be fair to prejudge this editor; Vietnam remains a nagging wound in many psyches (look at DIPPITY-DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!). But it does seem odd that a FIRST AMENDMENT DEFENDER would seek solace in the land of NO COMMENT, like so many of his colleagues -- a privilege the crusaders do not often extend to their victims.
Having just seen THE SECOND AD I conclude DIPPITY-DO can do only one thing: pull a CHECKERS. But while he may be Nixonian he's not the kind to do that, for he and especially MRS. HEINZ will never apologize for being so much better than the voters.
[T]oday's Broadway may represent the golden age 20 years from now to some kid currently growing up in Indiana.
TRANSLATION: There'll always be a future golden age so long as NEWS HACKS MINE GOLD.
TRANSLATION: There'll always be a future golden age so long as NEWS HACKS MINE GOLD.
Media buzz aided anti-Kerry effort
MEDIA BUZZ? What unmitigated bull. This was almost exclusively on the Web for weeks and only became newsworthy when Pinch and Lenny met minds and decided it HAD TO BE STOPPED.
But then as a rule we do NOT trust any story that quotes from PERFESSER B. S. BLATHERSKITE of SYRACUSE.
MEDIA BUZZ? What unmitigated bull. This was almost exclusively on the Web for weeks and only became newsworthy when Pinch and Lenny met minds and decided it HAD TO BE STOPPED.
But then as a rule we do NOT trust any story that quotes from PERFESSER B. S. BLATHERSKITE of SYRACUSE.
To her credit she does link to this piece by Charles Paul Freund (albeit on unReason's site) that reveals what most of us could already guess: anecdotal proof of anti-Americanism by news hacks can be FUN.
Figures: Vir-GIN-ia's a Dilbert nut. Had she not been blessed with the gift of glib Vir-GIN-ia would be a cubicle dweller, papering her walls with Dilberts.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Meantime, Mr. AVERAGE FOLK will SUE to stop Swift Boats from maligning his name!
Hhmph! A bunch of VETERANS.
Why is this guy SUING when he's got LEFTY MONEYBAGS, PINCH AND LENNY?!?!?
(Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Hhmph! A bunch of VETERANS.
Why is this guy SUING when he's got LEFTY MONEYBAGS, PINCH AND LENNY?!?!?
(Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
The fellow who pretentiously threw out a Wendy's lunch for a OUI-OUI from a hoity-toity country club says Dubya hates "average folks."
Hhmph! What is this speck of dust? Average folks. Go away average folks, GO AWAY!
Hhmph! What is this speck of dust? Average folks. Go away average folks, GO AWAY!
OH oh, we may have a debacle on our hands:
Scoring questioned in men's all-around gymnastics event
Maybe this is one reason people just want to forget THE GAMES as quickly as possible. (Except of course for the ARMIES of senior executives in attendance, who want to torment their underlings forever.)
P. S. Remember SALT LAKE? Didn't think so.
Scoring questioned in men's all-around gymnastics event
Maybe this is one reason people just want to forget THE GAMES as quickly as possible. (Except of course for the ARMIES of senior executives in attendance, who want to torment their underlings forever.)
P. S. Remember SALT LAKE? Didn't think so.
OKAY G000,000,000,000,000gleBlogger, I have taken up your offer to scan more than a few of my fellow blogs with the "Next Blog" button on your superduper new task bar -- and now I can not only say most of them are worthless and will probably be abandoned next week or tomorrow (and should), but a few of the bloggers should be kicked in their behinds for inflicting cute cursors and MUSIC on me -- and at least ONE IDIOT links to a godforsaken automatic-download come-on that requires CTRL-ALT-DEL to remove! Or is that YOUR idea, G000,000,000,000,000gleBlogger?
Some new behemoth in the shopping-center trade will own 215 malls.
Imagine all the cities they destroyed! WOW!!!!! It's enough to give a conservative pleasant dreams for a month.
Imagine all the cities they destroyed! WOW!!!!! It's enough to give a conservative pleasant dreams for a month.
News hacks can be like yapping DOGS...
Years after Steven Spielberg vowed to adapt Arthur Golden's bestselling Memoirs of a Geisha for the big screen, the film-maker yesterday unveiled a SENSATIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cast and said filming on the WHITE-HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! project will begin next month.
...only you can get DOGS to SHUT UP.
HEY STAFF AND AGENCIES! Need a job at USAOKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Years after Steven Spielberg vowed to adapt Arthur Golden's bestselling Memoirs of a Geisha for the big screen, the film-maker yesterday unveiled a SENSATIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cast and said filming on the WHITE-HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! project will begin next month.
...only you can get DOGS to SHUT UP.
HEY STAFF AND AGENCIES! Need a job at USAOKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Bush Religion Adviser Quits Campaign Post
Sexual Harassment Allegations Surface
For God's sake Lenny, why didn't this go on A1?
You know Romy's disco-dancing on his desk when he goes like this:
Washington Post / National Review / New York Times
Sexual Harassment Allegations Surface
For God's sake Lenny, why didn't this go on A1?
You know Romy's disco-dancing on his desk when he goes like this:
Washington Post / National Review / New York Times
You KNOW a musical stinks when THE PAPER OF RECORD'S chief Broadway ad-blurbist calls it "bad AND boring."
WIIIIIIIIIIIILD horn, man!!!!!
WIIIIIIIIIIIILD horn, man!!!!!
3,466 WORDS ON A VICIOUS HIT SQUAD OF REPUBLICANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the END of the story (well after THE PAPER OF RECORD's readers have congratulated themselves for reading THE SOLAR SYSTEM'S GREATEST PAPER and being THE MOST INTELLIGENT LIFE FORM ON THE UNIVERSE!):
As Mr. Lonsdale explained it: "We won the battle. Kerry went home and lost the war for us.
"He called us rapers and killers and that's not true," he continued. "If he expects our loyalty, we should expect loyalty from him."
Loyalty -- from a FRENCHMAN?
P. S. When did you run your last valentine on George Soros? Think we can use another one?
At the END of the story (well after THE PAPER OF RECORD's readers have congratulated themselves for reading THE SOLAR SYSTEM'S GREATEST PAPER and being THE MOST INTELLIGENT LIFE FORM ON THE UNIVERSE!):
As Mr. Lonsdale explained it: "We won the battle. Kerry went home and lost the war for us.
"He called us rapers and killers and that's not true," he continued. "If he expects our loyalty, we should expect loyalty from him."
Loyalty -- from a FRENCHMAN?
P. S. When did you run your last valentine on George Soros? Think we can use another one?
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Seeing as how the flacks must mention Mary Lou Retton, she fit perfectly in the Reagan years -- with a brash unwholesomeness that made me think gymnastics wasn't her game, it was real estate. That she made a success at the Ueberroth Capitalist Festival and became an inescapable menace in practically every shopping mall does not endear her memory to me either. Already the MORONS in Oak Brook and Hoffman Estates are wasting their consumers' hard-earned bucks on this new one. Oh well, just another way of saying, "I WAS AT THE OLYMPICS AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!"
QUICK! Who who were gymnastics idols in Sydney? IN ATLANTA? It is rather hard to remember.
QUICK! Who who were gymnastics idols in Sydney? IN ATLANTA? It is rather hard to remember.
Health insurance -- at McDONALD'S?!?!?!?!?
PFFH-HH-HH!!!!!
Why, that will cost almost as much as -- getting the entire executive staff to say, "I WAS AT THE OLYMPICS AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!"
PFFH-HH-HH!!!!!
Why, that will cost almost as much as -- getting the entire executive staff to say, "I WAS AT THE OLYMPICS AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!"
Surprise, surprise: an ad on the WashTimes web site:
When will the CLOWNS of NEWS realize that putting ads like this on conservative news sites, and DIPPITY-DO!!!!! ads on "MAINSTREAM" news sites, makes their operations look even more cheaply side-taking?
When will the CLOWNS of NEWS realize that putting ads like this on conservative news sites, and DIPPITY-DO!!!!! ads on "MAINSTREAM" news sites, makes their operations look even more cheaply side-taking?
Good news for THE PAPER OF RECORD:
The NYPD is planning to disband the street anti-graffiti and vandalism unit credited with cleaning up the city after the crime-crazed 1980s, the Daily News has learned.
ART RETURNS TO THE BIG APPLE!!!!!!!!!!
The NYPD is planning to disband the street anti-graffiti and vandalism unit credited with cleaning up the city after the crime-crazed 1980s, the Daily News has learned.
ART RETURNS TO THE BIG APPLE!!!!!!!!!!
Elmer Bernstein brought jazz and ensembles to film music, which helped kill the form and led to the current greatest-hits anthologies. But we will always absolve a man of responsibility who wrote the score for The Magnificent Seven. RIP.
P. S. HEADLINE OF THE WEEK:
England footie 'theme tune' composer dies
He should have come back to life and sued.
P. S. HEADLINE OF THE WEEK:
England footie 'theme tune' composer dies
He should have come back to life and sued.
Freepers have made a big thing of this photo. This was at the same VFW wingding where Dubya got a standing O. Simply put, this is the obverse of the UNITY Conference. That those folks were NEWS HACKS and these guys veterans does not disguise the tiresome partisanship at work.
Meantime THE PAPER OF RECORD raises money for an artistic porno movie.
C'mon, guys -- I mean PERSONS -- why didn't YOU campaign for DIPPITY-DO?
C'mon, guys -- I mean PERSONS -- why didn't YOU campaign for DIPPITY-DO?
Report on Iraq abuse cites interrogators, clears leaders
And here we thought every military commander was ROTTEN TO THE CORE. What SHALL WE DO? I know: campaign for DIP -- through the FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT! Pffh-hh-hh!
And here we thought every military commander was ROTTEN TO THE CORE. What SHALL WE DO? I know: campaign for DIP -- through the FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT! Pffh-hh-hh!
DIP'S CAMPAIGN SPOKESMAN LENNY FOUND IT! HIS CRITIC'S A LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Of course we CAMPAIGN SPOKESMEN don't use loaded words like "LIAR"; why should we when we have better, more subtle words -- like "counter"?)
A CHEER went up in the WaPost's luxury campaign headquarters when the word went out. NOW ONWARD TO VICTORY!!!!!
A CHEER went up in the WaPost's luxury campaign headquarters when the word went out. NOW ONWARD TO VICTORY!!!!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Vir-GIN-ia applies a little sense to DIPPITY'S conundrum:
I personally don't care all that much about this ancient history (or, for that matter, about George Bush's Air National Guard service or Clinton's draft dodging). But obviously a lot of people DO care about it, and political reporters are in business to give people information about candidates. If they can't do their jobs on this story, they should switch to another beat. So, guys, here's another hypothesis worth checking out: Did Kerry simply confuse Christmas and Tet?
And once you're done checking out this story, could you give us some information on Kerry's likely policy toward Iranian nukes? [Emphasis added.]
I personally don't care all that much about this ancient history (or, for that matter, about George Bush's Air National Guard service or Clinton's draft dodging). But obviously a lot of people DO care about it, and political reporters are in business to give people information about candidates. If they can't do their jobs on this story, they should switch to another beat. So, guys, here's another hypothesis worth checking out: Did Kerry simply confuse Christmas and Tet?
And once you're done checking out this story, could you give us some information on Kerry's likely policy toward Iranian nukes? [Emphasis added.]
Exciting news from Playbill.com:
Whoopi Goldberg to Revive 1984 Broadway Solo Show
...which means she can do as many Bush and Dick jokes as she LIKES.
The show will re-create the same material seen in the original [presumably including her classic Bush and Dick jokes --ED], in which Goldberg impersonated a series of characters, including a Valley Girl and a pan handler [sic].
Somehow a "Valley Girl" and a "pan handler" are the appropriate characters to tell Bush and Dick jokes.
Whoopi Goldberg to Revive 1984 Broadway Solo Show
...which means she can do as many Bush and Dick jokes as she LIKES.
The show will re-create the same material seen in the original [presumably including her classic Bush and Dick jokes --ED], in which Goldberg impersonated a series of characters, including a Valley Girl and a pan handler [sic].
Somehow a "Valley Girl" and a "pan handler" are the appropriate characters to tell Bush and Dick jokes.
Judge Rules Police Had Probable Cause To Search Michael Jackson's Ranch
Starting with the day he declared baby-dangling an Olympic sport! Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
JUST KIDDING!
(Sorry for the VIACON.)
Starting with the day he declared baby-dangling an Olympic sport! Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
JUST KIDDING!
(Sorry for the VIACON.)
That the TV viewers don't notice the fans masquerading as empty seats suggests maybe they are couch potatoes.
PERFESSER EMPTYBLURB -- YOU'VE MADE THE BIG TIME!
PERFESSER EMPTYBLURB -- YOU'VE MADE THE BIG TIME!
Donald Trump, Hasbro launch board game
I've got a better idea -- how about a game like MONOPOLY, only with BONDS for CASH and a HAIR STYLIST for JAIL?
And the object of my game is to go broke with the most press releases.
I've got a better idea -- how about a game like MONOPOLY, only with BONDS for CASH and a HAIR STYLIST for JAIL?
And the object of my game is to go broke with the most press releases.
Is there a work slowdown on at G000,000,000gleBlogger because the IPO didn't come through?
Arafat admits 'making mistakes'
Shocking!
Guess this means he didn't kill enough Jooooooooooooooooos.
Shocking!
Guess this means he didn't kill enough Jooooooooooooooooos.
SARAH Jessica Parker is so optimistic about John Kerry's chances that she's teaching her son, James Wilke Broderick, to call the Democratic nominee "President Kerry." While Parker shot the Gap campaign, insiders on the set were amused to see young James uttering "President Kerry." "It was really cute," said a witness.
So what? The folks at THE PAPER OF RECORD have called him that for months.
So what? The folks at THE PAPER OF RECORD have called him that for months.
DIMWHIT:
Newsweek's Whitaker says ads shouldn't look like editorial
What about the OPPOSITE, MR. MARK?
Newsweek's Whitaker says ads shouldn't look like editorial
What about the OPPOSITE, MR. MARK?
Greedy broadcasters are ready to elect another president!
$1.2 billion to $2.7 billion! WOW!!!!! Time to get out the BARBIE DOLLS AND POTATO CHIPS, GEORGE "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS" WILL!!!!!!!!!! Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$1.2 billion to $2.7 billion! WOW!!!!! Time to get out the BARBIE DOLLS AND POTATO CHIPS, GEORGE "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS" WILL!!!!!!!!!! Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've noticed lately a number of stories saying that Florida (ALL of Florida) will never recover from the hurricane, that typhoid and dysentery will kill thousands, that property owners can never rebuild, etc., etc., ETC. This is probably the best time (of all the many best times) to tell news hacks to SHUT UP.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I remember Crazy Guggenheim too. (Although Larry Miller spoils the effect with that enduring news-hack cliche "innocence": a nation that went through two wars and a depression in three decades, that had already fought the Cold War for another two, probably didn't have much innocence left.) I remember the entertainers who knotted America together by the sheer force of their talent. Alas, Jackie Gleason and Frank Fontaine are clinking glassses in that great bar in the sky -- replaced by people like The Weekly Standard's proprietor RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and FX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That rather spoils the effect too.)
A new dirty trick in pop-up ads: the close button appears at the bottom of the ad -- and when you try to scroll down to hit the button, the ad stays in place -- with the button hidden behind the taskbar!
Natch -- it's a VIACON.
Natch -- it's a VIACON.
SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: ST. WARREN gets ONE SUBSID to use ANOTHER SUBSID to tout another of those THOROUGHLY USELESS COLLEGE "GUIDES." YESSIR, YOUR HOLINESS, THAT'S SYNERGY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER prepares for its WALL $TREET DEBUT with a NEW BLOGGER TOOL BAR that blocks out part of the heading on your home page -- and brings on POP-UP ADS!
I wonder if this op-ed hackery is the cue for Lenny's NON-PARTISAN-LIKE-ME boys to persecute Dubya for "leaking" that suspected terrorist geek's name. One dead giveaway is our fearless scribbler cites a professor who most likely is not right of center (complete with link; THANK YOU, LENNY). Another giveaway is that the DIP's Cambodian trip has apparently still not happened in the MAGICAL KINGDOM OF ST. WARREN.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Bush Camp Controlling Admission to Events
1. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
2. You guys' friends will run RIOT at the Second Infomercial.
1. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
2. You guys' friends will run RIOT at the Second Infomercial.
Editor is sick of the "sleaze" and "slime" in readers' letters
Hey we're sick of the sleaze and slime in newspapers.
Hey we're sick of the sleaze and slime in newspapers.
Harrah's Loveman to Address Nevada's 2004 Governor's Conference on Tourism
Why am I thinking this hed should end with, "And Casino Chips Change Hands"?
Why am I thinking this hed should end with, "And Casino Chips Change Hands"?
More news from Playbill.com:
Michael McKean, Dominic Chianese, Martha Plimpton Star in Woody Allen's Memory This Fall
I'd like to see Perv do a sex scene with a beautiful actress. (So would he I'm sure.) Talk about Bride of Frankenstein.
Michael McKean, Dominic Chianese, Martha Plimpton Star in Woody Allen's Memory This Fall
I'd like to see Perv do a sex scene with a beautiful actress. (So would he I'm sure.) Talk about Bride of Frankenstein.
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES -- scouring the world for...NEWS?
Openly gay and lesbian athletes remain rare at Olympics
Let's see them get endorsements -- then again, big business being as PC as it is, they'd probably get TONS of them.
Openly gay and lesbian athletes remain rare at Olympics
Let's see them get endorsements -- then again, big business being as PC as it is, they'd probably get TONS of them.
SHUCKS, now it won't even be SEVEN.
Dilbertia and 30 Rock are in a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD WAY today -- especially since the RATINGS ARE DOWN. (They keep chanting AUDIENCE UP, AUDIENCE UP, MORE PLATFORMS, MORE PLATFORMS - but how did that line go: lies, damned lies and TV RATINGS?)
Dilbertia and 30 Rock are in a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD WAY today -- especially since the RATINGS ARE DOWN. (They keep chanting AUDIENCE UP, AUDIENCE UP, MORE PLATFORMS, MORE PLATFORMS - but how did that line go: lies, damned lies and TV RATINGS?)
Keeping in mind this is NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, one almost hopes the left riots during the Second Infomercial; this is its dirty work. (If the left knows better, it won't, but no one ever accused the left of knowing better. Knowing ALL, but not knowing better.) On the other hand, we can rest assured THE PAPER OF RECORD and other NEWS HACKS will somehow manage to blame any rioting on Republicans because HONORARY MAYOR MIKE IS ONE, never mind his party membership is also honorary. And we can rest equally assured THE PAPER OF RECORD will place NOT ONE IOTA OF BLAME on THE RIOTERS.
SNAFU? MARKETING. No one will ever convince me these cable "accidents" aren't on purpose, especially as porn is the industry's highest-profit component. And you don't get to be the ROYAL FAMILY OF PHILADELPHIA without MARKETING.
OMNIMEGAPUNDIT jokes about an IPO.
I don't; I've been predicting them for months. STERNO'S close friend Nick Dorken will be first; he's probably been talking up investment bankers since he started in blogging. NO, INST, I think you're SERIOUS.
I don't; I've been predicting them for months. STERNO'S close friend Nick Dorken will be first; he's probably been talking up investment bankers since he started in blogging. NO, INST, I think you're SERIOUS.
OMNIMEGAPUNDIT DOES IT AGAIN!!!!!
UPDATE: Exit polls show Chavez losing badly.
Well, the Freepers got excited too. But look at the SOURCE.
UPDATE: Exit polls show Chavez losing badly.
Well, the Freepers got excited too. But look at the SOURCE.
Extremely wishful thinking:
The Wall Street Journal isn't the New York Times or the Washington Post, but I believe it's a newspaper with the second largest daily circulation in the United States. So it ain't chopped liver. And Journal senior editorial page writer Robert Pollock has awoken to Kerry's Christmas in Cambodia meltdown: "Holiday in Cambodia." [Emphasis added.]
How many people make the same mistake? The Journals are the Certs of news: TWO (click) TWO (click) TWO NEWSPAPERS IN ONE: squooshy knee-jerk liberal news section, RAMBO free-enterprise op-ed section. A subject never gets COVERED in the Journals; it gets WEASEL-WORDED AND SPUN (Liberal Edition) or SCREAMED OVER (Conservative Edition). And NEITHER PAPER HEARS THE OTHER.
The Wall Street Journal isn't the New York Times or the Washington Post, but I believe it's a newspaper with the second largest daily circulation in the United States. So it ain't chopped liver. And Journal senior editorial page writer Robert Pollock has awoken to Kerry's Christmas in Cambodia meltdown: "Holiday in Cambodia." [Emphasis added.]
How many people make the same mistake? The Journals are the Certs of news: TWO (click) TWO (click) TWO NEWSPAPERS IN ONE: squooshy knee-jerk liberal news section, RAMBO free-enterprise op-ed section. A subject never gets COVERED in the Journals; it gets WEASEL-WORDED AND SPUN (Liberal Edition) or SCREAMED OVER (Conservative Edition). And NEITHER PAPER HEARS THE OTHER.
One of the news hacks' many FINEST HOURS:
On Sept. 11, 2001, Americans were shocked by footage of Palestinians dancing in the streets to celebrate the terrorist attacks on the United States. But those scenes disappeared from the airwaves soon after -- not because they weren't newsworthy, but because the Palestinian Authority gave orders to suppress them.
An Associated Press cameraman was summoned to a PA security office and warned not to release the material he had filmed. A top aide to Arafat told the AP's Jerusalem bureau that if the footage were aired, "we cannot guarantee the life" of the cameraman. Other news outlets were likewise ordered not to use any images of the 9/11 revelry. Most of them caved, and the images dried up.
Journalists like to cultivate a reputation for fearlessness, for a publish-and-be-damned commitment to putting out the story no matter what. The reality is not always so heroic. Sometimes the media are not fearless at all -- and their coverage, or lack of it, can amount to collaboration with dictators or thugs.
On Sept. 11, 2001, Americans were shocked by footage of Palestinians dancing in the streets to celebrate the terrorist attacks on the United States. But those scenes disappeared from the airwaves soon after -- not because they weren't newsworthy, but because the Palestinian Authority gave orders to suppress them.
An Associated Press cameraman was summoned to a PA security office and warned not to release the material he had filmed. A top aide to Arafat told the AP's Jerusalem bureau that if the footage were aired, "we cannot guarantee the life" of the cameraman. Other news outlets were likewise ordered not to use any images of the 9/11 revelry. Most of them caved, and the images dried up.
Journalists like to cultivate a reputation for fearlessness, for a publish-and-be-damned commitment to putting out the story no matter what. The reality is not always so heroic. Sometimes the media are not fearless at all -- and their coverage, or lack of it, can amount to collaboration with dictators or thugs.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
More baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad news for Dilbertia and 30 Rock: our HOOPS MEGALOMANIACS got TROUNCED by the colony of Puerto Rico.
Look at it this way, GE BANCORP: if the Puerto Ricans win -- WE WIN!
Look at it this way, GE BANCORP: if the Puerto Ricans win -- WE WIN!
Tomorrow's going to be a BAAAAAAAAAAAD day at Dilbertia (i.e., Fairfield) and 30 Rock: Mark Spitz II will NOT get his eight.
I hate to say this, but having been BOMBARDED by news hacks and promos how many people come to hope that someone like this fails, however nice a guy he is?
Two more things: Mark Spitz I was handsome -- very handsome (Spitz II is no great shakes looks-wise); and does Spitz II really want to risk becoming another joke?
I hate to say this, but having been BOMBARDED by news hacks and promos how many people come to hope that someone like this fails, however nice a guy he is?
Two more things: Mark Spitz I was handsome -- very handsome (Spitz II is no great shakes looks-wise); and does Spitz II really want to risk becoming another joke?
One reason so many people hate news hacks: their heroes so many people can't stand: no-talent rockers and movie ac-TORS, sexy tyrants like MICKEYMOUSE NIXON and the late ZONNNNNNNNNNNNN, demagogues like P. R. MIKE and SEN. FATSO GLUB GLUB, turncoats like SEN. DIMWIT (Imbecile-VT) and SEN. McPAIN (D-AZ), pseudo-artistes like GRAFFITI "WRITERS" and HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM. And because the news hacks still reek of high-school government and the college paper they sell them like people with God-given confidence (or should I say confidence, news hacks being gods), largely for social climbing and salary increasing, so that at the end of every day they can recite the words of The News Hacks' Creed No. 1 with ever increasing vigor:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
OMERTA backs the FORCES OF RIGHT and GOOD, although it's rather difficult when ALL YOUR SOURCES ARE DEMOCRATS.
Charley leaves Fla. in shambles [home-page hed]
The whole state? Somebody's auditioning for WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!! or NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!
The whole state? Somebody's auditioning for WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!! or NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!
Another HERO for STERNO, sighhhhhhhhhhhh.
And another female news hack demonstrating that the female news hack's m.o.s are cheap gossip and sappy praise.
WHEN ARE THESE BLOGGER-CLOWNS GOING TO START WITH THE IPOs?
P. S. I see this is in the WaPost's "Magazine." Most Sunday papers once had "magazines"; most were filled with cutesy fingernail-scratching-on-blackboard-pleasant drivel like this. You don't suppose such writing is one reason papers ditched their magazines, huh LENNY?
And another female news hack demonstrating that the female news hack's m.o.s are cheap gossip and sappy praise.
WHEN ARE THESE BLOGGER-CLOWNS GOING TO START WITH THE IPOs?
P. S. I see this is in the WaPost's "Magazine." Most Sunday papers once had "magazines"; most were filled with cutesy fingernail-scratching-on-blackboard-pleasant drivel like this. You don't suppose such writing is one reason papers ditched their magazines, huh LENNY?