Posted 9:42 PM by Gene

Well! Florida's had a condo binge -- and now comes the purge!

The oversupply will force prices down as much as 30 percent, the worst decline since the 1970s, and help push Florida's economy into recession as early as October, said Mark Zandi, chief economist at West Chester, Pennsylvania-based Moody's Economy.com, who owns a home in Vero Beach, Florida.

Stop us before we build again!

In the 1970s, when condos were a new product, Florida developers built 500,000 units and prices fell 50 percent, said Brad Hunter of MetroStudy, a research firm in West Palm Beach.

``The difference is, back then they were two-story condo buildings that had $50,000 units,'' Hunter said. ``Nowadays they are $700,000 units in 20-story buildings. Instead of building too much stuff that people could afford like we did then, this time we built too much stuff that people can't afford.''

And they can't be converted into apartments because they cost too much to build -- this looks like a recipe for profits!

The skyline of Miami is visible from Key Biscayne, the barrier island where John Rosser lives. Some nights the real estate broker scans the new buildings and sees more dark windows than lighted.

``This is dumbfounding to me,'' Rosser said. ``It's a building boom in the middle of a housing bust.''

Look at it this way: there's plenty of living room for ghosts. Maybe they can light up all those units with their ectoplasm.

Posted 7:48 PM by Gene

OHoh, JonBoy dares his rapidly growing subscriber base to run screaming from their coffee tables -- with A "SPECIAL REPORT" on..."I---M IN AMERICA!"

Was ever any newsrag story more guessable without being read?

Elsewhere he runs a cover plug for Second Life, which makes us wonder why he didn't run it domestically, the principal purpose of a newsrag being to flatten its readers' heads.

IT MAY BE THE INTERNET'S NEXT BIG THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Overemphasis added]

TRANSLATION: 1. When's the IPO? 2. St. WARRRRRRRRRRRREN! Here's a chance to overcome your Webophobia! 3. What makes these zillionaire newsrag editors think they can always sell their BS?

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to JESSICA and MALCOLM!

Oops:

If Gartner is to be believed (and it is one of the most RESPECTED research firms in the field) this means 1.6 billion—out of a total 2 billion Internet users—will have found new lives online. [Overemphasis added]

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to JESSICA and MALCOLM!

P. S. All right JonBoy, we surrender -- we read the centerpiece, and it wasn't half-bad. So we shouldn't jump to conclusions; but dammit JonBoy, your rag still runs plugs, and it still stinks.

Posted 4:39 PM by Gene

Then again maybe we should liken the high arts to the NFL. The NBA's unfolding PR catastrophe reminds us that sports, too, are now largely a plaything of the rich. Take away the zillions from the Chevy Chase CEOs who browbeat their help with their luxury suites, take away the zillionaires who sit in total bordeom in the front row merely to be seen in hip snoozing, and what do you have? Certainly not fans. They gave up on some sports long ago, like $ELIGI$M, which wouldn't exist without its many superrich enclaves. The NHL is what the NBA could and should be -- a virtual league. The rich pour zillions into their athletic fetishism for no good reason. Despite their obvious joy in burning money they may not be able to do so forever. The NFL aside pro sports are on the descendant, and if this loutish ref helps accelerate the decline he will have served a useful function.

Posted 4:17 PM by Gene

DOW 36,000 takes a numerical approach to opera: "Roughly as many Americans attend live opera performances as attend NFL football games!!!!!" Opera productions are "up by one-third in just four years!!!!!" The bad news is, "Mounting a production is expensive, and, even with triple-digit ticket prices, all operas lose money", but the good news is, "'Aggregated, all government subsidies only come to 5 or 6 percent of the U.S. companies’ funding!!!!!'" FREE EN-TER-PRISE AT WORK!

This is the simplemindedness of a man who knows nothing of culture but everything about getting his name in op-ed pages. We take a more sober view. The other day Mr. Teachout commented on the ghastly suicide of the tenor Jerry Hadley, and he quoted from his own review of some now-forgotten free-enterprise-financed adaptation of The Great Gatsby, which we requote in full:

The score is strictly mainline modernist yard goods, while the libretto is a filet of Fitzgerald containing all of the action, most of the famous lines ("Her voice is full of money") and none of the elegiac, bittersweet tone that is the novel's essence. Gatsby is given a pair of clumsily confessional arias, a fatal mistake; the great mystery man of American fiction would never have revealed himself in that way, not even to himself. It doesn't help that Jerry Hadley's voice is frayed and throaty, or that he is stocky and unglamorous--hardly the gorgeous, gold-hatted charmer of Fitzgerald's imagination....Harbison has turned Fitzgerald's quicksilver masterpiece into a slow-moving opera that is stolidly competent and totally superfluous.

And in another entry on the sizzling new leader of the New York Philharmonic (tellingly titled, "Er, who's Alan Gilbert?") he wrote as an aside, "I've also seen a lot of walkers at Paper Mill Playhouse's weekend matinees, which presumably is a big part of the reason why they got themselves into such dire financial straits this past season." These two observations, I fear, are clearer to the reality of high art in America, and they have nothing to do with the NFL.

Posted 1:08 PM by Gene

Yesterday ArtsJournal ran this link of another experiment to try to get a classic manuscript past the slush machine. While we must expect such an outcome (and a few of the drones in the slush pile did recognize Jane Austen -- just a few), this latest such try merely further discredits publishing's judgment and that of the hordes of scribblers who've acclaimed ROWLINGCORP's "valedictory" a masterpiece, but wouldn't know Huck Finn if it hit them on the head with a truckload of review copies.

Posted 12:49 PM by Gene

Mr. Moderate, Mr. Compromise, Mr. Wimp, Mr. Weenie, Mr. Mush, the media's all-time-favorite Demo...REPUBLICAN, CHRIS SHAYS, had a RUN-IN with -- the CAPITOL POLICE?

1. Didn't know you had that in ya! Then again, obviously he did. 2. He must have been mad Dubya would resume power.

Posted 9:39 AM by Gene

The hacks prepare to laugh again at the Pentagon -- this time for relying on "marketing" to win wars, oblivious as to how their own sales forces have now put marketing as their first priority, and truth the last; and especially oblivious as to how their unique selling propositions lend holy cockroaches the upper hand.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

The Lord God Pinch may end TimesReject!

Hey SLIME! Do You suppose Your hacks might be sending You a message?

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

Guess* who* may* be* indicted* in* the* fall*!

That may redefine the meaning of "fall classic."



Meantime FRISCO's set to be the first city with an asterisk in its name too.

By the way --

AT LEAST 1,857 LINKS.

Posted 9:12 AM by Gene

As we will ultimately find out, the difference between Web news sites and newsrags is that the passage of time more easily hides the Web's embarrassments. Nonetheless the unending electronic triviamania (especially as exemplified in this exasperating week) will someday be every bit as cringe provoking as, say, going back in ZEITGEIST's archives and finding the threat of global cooling, or Hitler's diaries, or the Koran down the toilet, or going back in PEOPLE NEWSRAG's vault and finding all the hundreds of PEOPLE NEWSRAG 100 lists, or the return of God in His son Jimmah, or how they liked Ike, or how backward ran sentences until reeled the mind. And the day will come sooner, as the Web indulges in so much more of it.

Posted 9:09 AM by Gene

Meantime the Taliban have given the West another reason to negotiate with them.

Our only surprise is this was the top story on both CNN.com sites. Where's our parent company ROWLINGCORP?

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

It is gratifying some Muslims are sending a message against their violence; but for this to stick they have to speak more loudly to call off the soldiers, and that they have yet to do, because what the soldiers do is ultimately in their interest.

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

We should have known it wouldn't be long before Mr. Dog Executioner became a PC cause.



Fuut-ball? I've nevah seen a fuut-ball game. I'm not into -- violent spohts.

P. S.

Democratic Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, who has addressed lawmakers often about his love for animals, shook with emotion [?] during a forceful condemnation of dogfighting.

"Hundreds of thousands -- if not millions -- of dollars are often at stake in the breeding, the training and the selling of fighting dogs. How INHUMAN, how DASTARDLY!" shouted the senator. "The training of these poor creatures to turn themselves into FIGHTING MACHINES is SIMPLY BARBARIC!!!!!" [Emphasis and overemphasis added]

Yes, now we're going from genuine outrage to the manufactured kind. These guys can make the vilest fraud look good.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

The word liberal carries a lot of baggage, so I'm discovering.

Unfortunately fewer and fewer of your turnips seem to be willing porters anymore.

Mr. Thumbs-Up is delighted, though. Is your baggage any heavier there, Cheryl? By the way, was the URL intentional?

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

In the heat of a partisan spat, Democrats forced a vote on a nonbinding measure to instruct President Bush not to pardon former vice presidential aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby. But there's no record of the 47-49 vote in the daily record of congressional proceedings - or anywhere else.

That's because senators agreed less than an hour later to undo their vote and pretend it had never happened.

Now why couldn't the Senate just erase its entire record then we'd never have to bother with it again?

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

I DON'T CARE WHAT MY...DAUGHTER SAYS -- I AM GOING TO LIVE FOREVER!!!!!

Bob. (Boy if that doesn't give a future spokesman the goosebumps.)

By the way, SUM, I wouldn't yell too loud; it might prompt Your daughter to bring a few...MDs into the courtroom.

Posted 1:56 PM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tives may be ready to force Sen. Vitter to walk the plank over his "sin", because his sin was a crime, which may never have entered the Senator's mind, assuming anything ever enters Senators' minds.

Posted 11:36 AM by Gene

ROMENESKO-IZING WITHOUT ROMY: The newly acquired Mediabistro has created a fuss over a certain cable zillionaire loudmouth making fun of Sen. Vitter's wife, which inevitably gets me thinking, how much time do media, big and bigger, old and new, spend propagating trivia?

Posted 11:25 AM by Gene

Elsewhere in SUMNERLAND, He and The Saint of Tentpoles have a falling out, and for once God may not win.

Posted 11:21 AM by Gene

Good dog!

Posted 10:41 AM by Gene

The poor little boo-boo corporation that created all those fantasies for kids says she was lonely making them.

You put me in a room with billions and I'd find a way not to be so lonely.

P. S. at 2:00 p.m. A perfesser at Georgetown is evidently lobbying to start a Department of Harry Potter Studies. Go for it!

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Cash for honours: Insufficient evidence

Aw SHUCKS, looks like The World's Oldest Adolescent will stay a free man after all.

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

And speaking of SLIME (how can you not these days?), online movie ad-blurbists have declared WAR on Him!

He knows what the ad-blurbists refuse to admit: His films stink, and He's taking the only defensive posture He can -- short of withholding them from the ad-blurbists altogether, which mightn't be a bad idea, as it wouldn't hurt sales with the movie-going retards, and it would prevent the stench of too many adjectives.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

Sorry to cite SLIME's flagship so often (at least it's His flagship until He rapes and plunders the JOURNALS), but the only surprise about learning some NBA ref may have fixed games is that it didn't happen earlier -- way earlier.

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

Dolly Parton's opening a new Dollywood branch in Branson East!

Now all Branson East's main drag needs is a long line of gas stations and fast-food joints.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

AWWWWWW, I can't think of a party more deserving of a lawsuit from his own daughter than The Lord God SUMNER, can you?

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

"Can't we please stop the war??????????" [Overemphasis added]

No one ever said taking the side of right was easy. (Pffffffffffffffffft!)

Posted 7:37 PM by Gene

Remember THE GREATEST SEASON IN TELEVISION HISTORY?

Burned, along with their readers, last fall when brilliant pilots faded into disappointing, and mostly canceled, series, the nation's TV critics are withholding their enthusiasm for a new fall season of shows.

This ad-blurbist does.

Posted 6:00 PM by Gene

ROSWELL, N.M. (AP) -- Everyone's a winner after a direct-mail marketing company hired by a local car dealership mistakenly sent out 50,000 scratch-off tickets to residents - all of them declaring the ticket-holder the $1,000 grand prize winner. Just one of the tickets was supposed to be the grand prize winner.

I think some weird fellow from a UFO did it. (Boooooooooooooooooooooo!)

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

D--n, profanity fines are back on track.

Time for B. S. DEFENDER to blow another fuse. Or has he stopped listening to Herbert -- Stone (sp) anymore?

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

Nike suspends release of Vick line, with a smirk [Last three words added]

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

Why do I think the Dow's new record and Bobby Bonds*'s two* home runs* are two statistics that deserve each other?

By the way, anyone remember Blackstone? Blackstone who?

And you don't suppose the tragedy in MOUNTAIN VIEW today indicates this market's lots of smoke and mirrors, do you? NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Thank the Lord God Steve for APPLE, which made Its fortune selling smoke and mirrors.

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

Say, here's another neat way AMAIRIKUH'S KOLLEDGES can plead poverty: by running expensive CEO -- er, presidential searches!

Posted 1:12 PM by Gene

No, let's not call this treason; let's call it -- a security lapse.

Posted 1:11 PM by Gene

It appears when it comes to dogfighting a lot of other people should be indicted.

Posted 10:13 AM by Gene

SUMNER DOES plan to live forever!

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

A testament to The Lord God's Steve's might: one iPhone can bring down Duke University!

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

Doping Problems Threaten to Sink Tour De France Yet Again

Why call it the Tour de France? Better call it the Tour de Dope.

Posted 10:01 AM by Gene

ASSPress becomes a MUSIC PUBLISHER:

"And that's why I wrote this song-a. We like you here, you can belong-a. But you just can't buy us, and simply own-a. Somebody should have told you, it's very wrong-a. To take our name and try to become chef Katonah."

Yes, this will be up there in the annals along with "Blowin' in the Wind", or something.

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

Surprise! Knuckleheads built golf courses faster than business could create new CEOs to laze their days on them. No wonder we have a subprime problem.

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!

BEIJING (AP) -- U.S. nuclear envoy says North Korea arms talks to end without setting deadline for next steps on disarmament.

Sure all that shutting down wasn't for show, Foggy Bottom?

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

The other day The New York Philharmonic named a new music director, and looking at the guy's picture we thought, this will revive classical music? One of The Paper of Re-CORD's scribblers further arouses our suspicions:

[M]any of the players have said that what they prize in a music director is a towering musician who can teach them something. Mr. Gilbert presents himself simply as a solid, utterly professional conductor who will try to instill a collegial atmosphere within the ranks of the players rather than be their teacher.

Some of the Philharmonic’s more traditional concertgoers may also have to adjust. Those who expect the music director of the Philharmonic to perform a cycle of Beethoven symphonies that will enter the annals of music history may be disappointed. But if Mr. Gilbert can liberate himself from such lofty expectations, he should be able to attract new audiences and inspire the players to take some chances, have some fun, think outside the box.

TRANSLATION: The guy's a musical drone. We certainly hope not; but how can this biz get back on its feet when it does everything to obscure itself to the public, from geriatric concerts to awful "operas"?

(Links via ArtsJournal)

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

Did you know ESPNCorp is still pursuing MICKEYMOUSE NIXON's dream of being a PLAYER in the RECORD BIZ? Well, it is:

Disney’s Hollywood Records label unveiled what it is calling CDVU+, pronounced CD view plus, at the Samsung Experience store at New York’s Time Warner Center, which just so happens to be where Time Warner’s (TWX) CNNMoney.com offices are located. [Ta-DAAAAA!!!!! I guess they know all about records.] Disney said that its pop-punk trio, the Jonas Brothers, will be the first act to release an album in this format. The self-titled CD will be released on August 7.

So what makes the CDVU+ special? The CD will launch a digital magazine that features loads of exclusive content. Disney worked with Zinio, a company that helps magazine and book publishers deliver content online, to launch this service. The CDVU+ will also allow Jonas Brothers fans to check out videos and photos, get song lyrics and create posters.

WOW!!!!! This will revive the CD for SURE!!!!!!!!!!

(Via the New, Improved MediaBistro)

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

SLIME backs out of the Great Onanists' and Geeks' Fantasy Convention because its -- properties aren't ready?

Would the geeks have noticed?

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Vodafone Says 1Q Revenue Rose 7.5 Pct.

Sure you don't want to buy Verizon?

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

A number of scribblers with an advanced notion of justice believe our friend the dogfighting impresario should be allowed to play. Fine. Let him play -- to the sight of thousands of opposing fans in dog masks, and the sound of barking and howling and "Hound Dog" and "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?", and the posters: "Lock Vick Up in the Pound", "Throw Him to the Dogs", "Vick! Play Dead", "Humane League Poster Boy", "ConVICKt", and so forth. It would be an amusing spectacle. And so yes, he should play -- unless, of course, he comes to whatever little he has of his senses and takes a leave of absence...before the con-vick-tion.

P. S. at 9:58 a.m. Another reason he'll play:

The Falcons face an estimated salary cap hit of about $6 million this year and $15 million in 2008 if they release Vick — devastating hits to any team’s budget.

Posted 7:47 PM by Gene

Perhaps no city lives more on its underground than New York. Does anyone really know what goes on down there?

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

However true the notion that a great flood separated England and France, the very thought is beyond awe, aside from being its own best proof that geography is destiny.

Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

Damned if you do: If RUDY pledges a litmus test, the hacks call him a Nazi; if he doesn't, the a social conservatives scratch their heads about his sincerity.

I love this Republican line-up, don't you?

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

It's official: people are bored with eBay.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

Even with the slight increase, the number of Missourians receiving abortions last year still was at its second-lowest mark since 1975, according to health department records.

Perhaps the notion of abortion as a sexual convenience is finally loosening its grip on us -- perhaps.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Speaking of cri-TICS, would the world be sad if someday Mis-tuh Ker-RY Den-BEH hung up his keyboard -- or half the STAHF of THUH NE-EW YAWH-KUH, for that matter?

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

The male Ms. Travers of TNRO has something to say about a TV cri-TIC named TOM:

Since "Seinfeld" was cancelled in 1998, Shales has cited it in a remarkable 79 articles. (Compare that to a mere 18 mentions of "The Simpsons," which has actually been running, albeit at quarter-steam, all those years.) Shales has described "Seinfeld" as "the most successful and acclaimed sitcom ever"; "one of the most popular and highly praised sitcoms ever "; "It may have constituted a 'great era' all by itself"; "the last great sitcom of the age of the sitcom"; and "the last really funny TV show"--a tidal wave of praise that would be less overwhelming if not for the fact that all these quotes appeared in the last 14 months, many years after the show went defunct.

And while he avows the great comic masterpiece was "very funny", he further avows, "I find its relentlessly shticky humor holds up rather disappointingly in reruns" -- meaning, as with so many cultural sensations, you had to be there.

Posted 2:18 PM by Gene

DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!

Scholastic: Some customers received Harry Potter book early

Now may we please put an end to this money-making stunt once and for all?

Posted 11:18 AM by Gene

“We made a mistake in calculating the amount that leaked into the ocean. We apologize and make correction.”

Oooooooooooooooooooooookay!

Posted 11:17 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: If the Bannies turn down SLIME they'll lose a LOT of money -- but they'll look like GODS.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Why is North Korea in such a sudden rush to disarm?

Theh's somethin' SCWEWY goin' on awound heawh!

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

Dueling versions of Potter book surface on Net

You don't suppose ROWLINGCORP and its subsids Bloomsbury and Scholastic Inc. and PEOPLE WARNER would do this on purpose would you? NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

I suppose this means another diatribe about how con-SER-va-tive Politico.com is, but....

Left could push pro-Israel voters to GOP

We doubt it -- because Jews are the most masochistic voters of all, and they love the pain.

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

The creator of MediaBistro has sold her site for $23 million -- with a little help from a few unknowns, like Alan Meckler, and Russell Baker, and Marty Peretz, and her hubby at BizWeek, and several others, and while it always annoys us that a pile of typing can go for megazillions, the Web moves so fast that today's typing piles will be supplanted by others. Just to move in that biz is to stand still, and I'm glad I'm not in it, except for the riches.

Correction on 10/3 at 9:05 a. m. Apparently the Russell Baker who helped with MediaBistro's launch doesn't have a sense of humor.

Posted 6:18 PM by Gene

Michael Vick's been indicted in that dog-fighting scheme, another richly deserved self-administered NFL black eye.

On Vick's Web site, he lists his birthplace as Newport News, "a.k.a. BadNews."

NO COMMENT.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

Our favorite PR guy Rog affirms the quickly developing CW that EDNA's film is a "sleeper" -- principally because "it’s the antidote to all the sequels we’ve had so far this summer, and all the dreary action films." But because the surrounding films are so franchise-hamburger (or is that TENTPOLE?) bad that makes this one a masterwork? Haven't we had enough of hearing how wonderful something is because the junk makes it look good by comparison? Plus Rog says "[t]he marketing people worry that men won’t go." [TRANSLATION: Musicals are for GAYS.] Probably it'll be that sleeper, but just as probably it could go kerflooey because everyone except the ad-blurbists realizes we don't make good movies anymore -- and least of all musicals.

Rog also tells us Ms. Clarkson's latest album has pancaked. Why do we hope such people bomb? Is it because they're hyped to death in the first place? Or is it because they're alumni of SLIME's talent factory?

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

Hmmm: Does this mean there's a remote chance the Three-Headed Dog's deal for Chrysler won't go through because -- we had a party in subprimes?

Posted 2:26 PM by Gene

Another "poverty tour" in Eastern Kentucky leaves the natives less than impressed:

Still, Edwards has lost some of his credibility in this predominantly Democratic region. They don't forget $400 haircuts around here.

"A haircut's a haircut. You can get the same one for $10," said James Rudd, a 28-year-old Whitesburg resident who's spent the past 10 years mining coal. "If he's so big on poverty, then why don't he give the other $390 to some homeless person?"

Because a fella needs the other $390 to run for president.

Posted 1:48 PM by Gene

The head of the League of Nations doesn't want us to leave Iraq hastily?

Whiny Reid and Babs must take him to the woodshed!

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

Branson sells bronze Andy Williams figurines, Branson East sells cast albums.

What's the diff?

This is a story, by the way, of that niche CD firm with the wildly optimistic name that we've spoken of before. And nowhere does it say how many records it sells -- an admission it isn't many.

(Via the usual ArtsJournal)

Posted 10:23 AM by Gene

And this will speed the negotiations along:

Iran Is Found To Be a Lair of Al Qaeda

Dubya? That you under the Oval Office desk?

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!

The State Department says the United States is ready to hold new face-to-face talks with Iran on the situation in Iraq.

Hear the cry from Foggy Bottom: PEACE AT LAST!!!!!

Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

Yes, industrial smells are not pleasant; but the day we have no more industrial smells is the day we have no more industry, and that date looms closer every day.

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

Shatner to interview celebrities

QED.

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

Jo-NAH spends 967 WORDS on the "debate" about "cats v. dogs", which proves rather conclusively the blogging revolution is over.

Posted 10:00 AM by Gene

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

We fear this fight at the LALA comedy club was the funniest thing to happen there in a while.

Posted 9:56 AM by Gene

Meantime the folks at DreamWorks say their fifth installment of the overexposed green whatisit is the last (surprising -- we thought the FRANCHISE still had another 20 pictures left), which proves you can only get so many toothpick TENTPOLES out of a rotten tree.

Posted 9:52 AM by Gene

EINSTEIN lies down on The Mogul's Friend's couch and takes responsibility for his masterpiece never getting a gullible audience, and The Mogul's Friend returns the favor by philosophizing tiresomely on the psychology of failure in show-biz, which in the end simply means not getting enough suckers to watch you.

Posted 6:19 PM by Gene

How to get rich the Beavis-and-Butthead way: steal live copper electrical wire.

Posted 6:18 PM by Gene

We think we can point to one other reason why supermodeling's in "decline", Little Malcolm: most of them aren't that good looking.

Haven't you run this gag before, Malc? And didn't we say the same thing too?

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

These are tough times for the people who run colleges. (Pfffffffffffffffffft!) A board chairman's resigned for using the N-WORD; a president's been fired for mishandling a student's murder. And yet E. G. GEE (is that Jesus or gopher?) points to a more likely trend than firing: the man who makes so much money from his charges he could finance several hundred of their educations and still have enough leftover for lavish fundraising, which, of course, is all most college bosses ever do.

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

We wonder that the publishing biz, which considers itself almost as invincible as THE CONSPIRACY, hasn't had a mergermania of its own. It already believes in the same things as THE CONSPIRACY: TENTPOLES, merchandising, art-for-art's-sake to please the ad-blurbists. This deal between Houghton Mifflin and Reed Elsevier points to one great advantage of the biz: it controls a seller's market when it comes to textbooks, and while those fancy two- and three-digit profit margins might not finance hundreds of navel starers, we can see where the biz would be proud to do so -- if it weren't so heavily into obsoleting itself as fast as possible.

Posted 3:42 PM by Gene

And how many military and security secrets can Lucy Van Pelt and her Peanuts gang reveal while they've sworn to secrecy about ROWLINGCORP'S BOOK?

This is a disgrace. This is news hacks.

(Via ShowBizData)

Posted 12:33 PM by Gene

The Brits expel four, then Belly Kisser expels four, and nothing gets solved.

Posted 12:14 PM by Gene

Something called Steiner Sports Marketing is selling Joltin' Joe's diaries -- which, alas, he wrote late in his life, and include thus and such:

In 1989, DiMaggio wrote that a flurry of autograph signing on "Old Timers Day" was "beginning to be too much stress."

Oooh! The stress of making money!

And:

"After dinner, proceeded to another room to hear Van Cliburn play. Mrs. Gorbachev requested a song that Cliburn played and Mrs. Gorbachev sang along," wrote DiMaggio.

"Had to buy a new shirt because neck size down to 15 1/2."

We hope his admirers will be scintillated for what they'll have to pay for it.

Posted 11:03 AM by Gene

[I]t's probably not a surprise that a lot of the dominant citizen media is likely to be more commercial and pop than incisive.

TRANSLATION: The Pee-PUL's Media are even more superficial and scatterbrained than MMMMMSSSSSMMMMM.

Posted 10:49 AM by Gene

Beckham's main quality in the U.S. market is, of course, his brand-name celebrity aura. If in doubt, witness the image of Becks as a fetching prince on a white horse, saving his Sleeping Beauty as part of Disney World's "Year of a Million Dreams" advertising campaign. Thus Beckham has joined Donald Duck and Goofy in the U.S. soccer pantheon.

Yes, this is the definitive account of why Mr. Bend-It won't work.

Posted 10:35 AM by Gene

Nostalgia in Geekland:

bl8n8r writes

"In July of 1982, an infected Apple II propogated the first computer virus onto a 5-1/4" floppy. The virus, which did little more than annoy the user, Elk Cloner, was authored in Pittsburgh by a 15-year-old high school student, Rich Skrenta. The virus replicated by monitoring floppy disk activity and writing itself to the floppy when it was accessed. Skrenta describes the virus as "It was a practical joke combined with a hack. A wonderful hack." Remember, he was a 9th grader when he did this."

Which proves, even at the dawn of personal computing, the geeks had too much time on their hands.

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

Is he odd? Oh yes, Prince is odd. Geniuses can be that way.

And so can odd people.

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Hot Ghetto Mess -- wouldn't that be a good name for SUMNER's Boogie Everynight Television?

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

Today, after smelling one at least fifty feet downwind, I can say the garbage truck is the unwashed armpit of the road.

Posted 9:48 AM by Gene

For the week ending Thursday, total boxoffice was $324.4 million, down 1% from the $328.1 million accrued during the comparable week a year ago. Year to date, the domestic boxoffice is $5.21 billion, up 4.6% from last year's $4.98 billion. Admissions remain flat. [Emphasis added]

TRANSLATION: Despite THE CONSPIRACY's tremendous exertions it's drawing no more fools than last year. Indeed the tentpoles are growing so much bigger, and the rest of the biz so much smaller, that in time the biz will be all pole and no tent.

As always we thank The Hollywood Stenographer for holding the good news off until the last graf.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

When does the principle of standing up for lesser candidates like yourself confront the reality that you're stuck in single-digits and are likely to stay there?

And in Chris "Sandy" Dodd's case might deserve it?

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

The only thing that can stop this COMMIE demand to limit drug advertising is -- the wholly-owned Democratic subsidiaries of the drug biz!

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

At what point does all this he-with-the-most-toys-wins wheeling 'n' dealing actually hurt our wallets?

I can see it now: Vodafone pays exorbitantly for all those wireless Verizon goodies, then can't sell the fixed-line business and takes a bath, which means...he with the most toys still wins.

P. S. at 9:50 p.m. I guess even $160 billion is a wee bit too much for Vodafone.

Posted 8:59 PM by Gene

JFK has $34 MILLION! Hill has $33 MILLION!

Who's going to waste more of the money on annoying ADS?

Posted 7:48 PM by Gene

Does anyone have the time or the interest to read CNN's 3,882-WORD dollop of mashed potatoes in its food fight with FATSO?

It's "SHOWBIZ" anyway.

Posted 7:41 PM by Gene

Maybe it's me, but the loud talker and "the ding of an instant message" aren't that high on my list of office pet peeves, or perhaps I just don't notice them.

Posted 7:39 PM by Gene

And I'm sniffing out the strong odor of -- COURAGE!

No offense, Bert.

Posted 7:38 PM by Gene

Looks like Ms. Travers is getting excited again:

Did Ron Paul Warn of a Government-Staged Terror Attack?

Whose company did The Duhb put him in the other day?

Posted 7:28 PM by Gene

Well, well! Look who finally showed up on his blog today! Yes, I must have been fixing my computer -- I put a bigger and allegedly faster hard drive in, and due to my blazing incompetence (a careless self-inflicted problem with the BIOS order) I was out of commission for ten whole hours! Oh well, much doesn't seem to have happened today, but I'll try to ferret it out in the next two hours anyway.