Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Posted
5:49 PM
by Gene
P's tomorrow -- as in... ![]() PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-U!
Posted
5:39 PM
by Gene
While NPR has long bristled at accusations of liberal bias, a recent study by the Pew Research Center for People and the Press found that 61 percent of NPR's audience describes itself as progressive, while only 15 percent described themselves as tea party supporters. The difference between parties was smaller but still pronounced: 40 percent of NPR listeners described themselves as Democrats, while only 14 percent called themselves Republicans. Keach does not tell us when NPNTR has "bristled" or how, but we can see it pulling that Chevron joke. The best for NPNTR to do is meekly admit it's liberal, and say it will do better. Anything else is searing dishonesty. Friday, October 22, 2010
Posted
11:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
O next -- as in OH, BROTHER!
Posted
11:35 AM
by Gene
And they're prepared to choke it.
Posted
11:02 AM
by Gene
I really do wish though it were possible to write on such a topic without hinting that despite it all videogames can cure cancer. Or to put it another way, if this typing is the norm videogame cri-TICS are displacing rock mu-SICK cri-TICKS on the bad-writing pedestal with their pretension.
Posted
9:53 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:30 AM
by Gene
Given how Juan landed on a very soft featherbed we're not feeling especially sorry for him either.
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Posted
8:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:30 PM
by Gene
N is next -- as in NO! NO!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!
Posted
2:46 PM
by Gene
P. S. I would note there appears to be nothing on the Web since SUPERNIKKI!!!!!'s breathless ad, so this project might be as much make-believe as on film.
Posted
2:02 PM
by Gene
So THAT's how you came up with All in the Family!
Posted
1:56 PM
by Gene
Nokia reports rise in profits, announces 1,800 job cuts
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:28 AM
by Gene
The Providence Journal to Post Excerpts Only on Web Site That should definitely drive print sales in Portland, Oregon!
Posted
11:25 AM
by Gene
He needs to? Or rather, he needs to?
Posted
11:10 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:20 AM
by Gene
Thomas R. Nides, a six-figure fundraiser for Hillary Rodham Clinton during her 2008 presidential run, disclosed his compensation from Morgan Stanley in a recent filing with the U.S. Office of Government Ethics. Exceptionally well-qualified! Why are such stories limited to the CONSERVATIVE GHETTO?
Posted
10:03 AM
by Gene
At one point in the film, Sean Parker, the inventor of Napster, says of the supposed Facebook revolution he helped to promote that once people lived on farms, then in cities, but now they will live on the Internet -- which means living where there really is no such thing as the truth. I'd be sorry to think that that is the case, but it may be so. Yet I wonder if it means that, 50 or 100 years hence, Mr. Zuckerberg will have taken his place in the national pantheon alongside such old-time capitalist heroes as Thomas Edison or Henry Ford, or if his invention of yet another form of the artificial life that our age mass-produces will have been forgotten along with his (by then) ancient technology? I don't know the answer to this question, but if The Social Network has anything to do with how he is remembered, it seems unlikely by that time that anyone will care about Mark Zuckerberg one way or the other.
Posted
9:37 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:32 AM
by Gene
Can't wait for the OMBUDSPOOP's excuses.
Posted
9:13 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:02 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
Well don't forget, G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE is an international company. (Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
8:42 AM
by Gene
“If you ask me what could irritate the authorities about the Russian NEWSWEEK’s [SIC!] coverage, I will tell you: everything,” says Mikhail Zygar, NEWSWEEK RUSSIA’s [SIC!] news editor. 1. Couldn't some of your American readers say the same thing? 2. You have the money, Sid. Why didn't you finance a replacement? Oh, you don't have that much money?
Posted
8:33 AM
by Gene
You mean we're throwing all that money at the Wall Street Casino for nothing?
Posted
12:08 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Posted
11:52 PM
by Gene
P. S. on 10/21/2010 at 10:35 a. m. Given what the parrots are doing maybe we should have stuck with our first hunch.
Posted
6:58 PM
by Gene
We looked hard for an apt illustration but anyone can make a greeting card these days. (Via Paper of Re-CORD.com via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
4:56 PM
by Gene
And speaking of rhymes with credible, tomorrow is the M's -- Mmmmmmmmmmm! Tasteless!
Posted
1:58 PM
by Gene
1. Oh -- so now it's OFFICIAL. 2. That should pay for some of LIARLIAR BROCK's salary. (Via the usual Romy, who we'd guess is quite surprised)
Posted
1:53 PM
by Gene
The DUPES are back, or the BIG C viewers are back -- one and the same. The indexes' gains came the day after stocks posted their biggest loss in two months, suggesting investors thought Tuesday's slide was overdone. Who ever said mental illness was illegal?
Posted
1:44 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: ED MURROW and ERIC SEVAREID will stage history's first CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED political rally. (Via JENNIFER!)
Posted
10:24 AM
by Gene
Pinch's wall has a mighty big hole in it. (Via I Want Media)
Posted
9:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:41 AM
by Gene
The Fentonville Politburo members must have screamed.
Posted
9:36 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
"I wrote him a note not too long ago, but it came back. I didn't know where he was. Now I do. He's in that great acting studio in the sky."
Posted
8:13 AM
by Gene
This would seem a little less than Kosher. Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Posted
6:54 PM
by Gene
Headquartered where? At a Ripley's Believe It or Not museum?
Posted
6:08 PM
by Gene
YOU'LL WISH YOU'D OWNED APPLE WHEN IT CROSSES $400!!!!!!!!!! (Let's-get-on-our-knees-and...WISH overemphasis added) By which time Its market cap will be $365,424,000,000, or $33,844,000,000 more than today's market cap of XOM. But why $400? Why not, say, $1,100 -- what STEVEDOM WILL sell for WHEN It crosses ONE TRILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!! Aside from fraud, the Wall Street Casino's biggest business is BS.
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
B. C.
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
How many disparaging adjectives can you think up beginning with the letter L? Lamebrained? Lousy? Lunkheaded? That's next.
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:28 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: Charlie Hustle's really hustling for the Hall this time.
Posted
2:58 PM
by Gene
![]() BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! Two can play THAT game -- PILLHEAD!
Posted
10:30 AM
by Gene
We will not say the "investors" must have been smoking something because they've been on a Pollyanna high for quite a while. (Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
9:18 AM
by Gene
And of course most of the SKOOLS end up BRANDING their own behinds. Monday, October 18, 2010
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
If anyone should know better it's a me-DIA cri-TIC.
Posted
5:34 PM
by Gene
![]() KILL THE FILM BIZ!!!!! (K is next.) P. S. on 10/20/2010 at 5:23 p. m. The Johnsons appeared in our last roundup; evidently they've taken a long vacation.
Posted
3:15 PM
by Gene
(Via the usual Romy)
Posted
10:20 AM
by Gene
The housing market index hasn’t been above 50 since April 2006. DOW 500 QUINTAGIGAHYPERMEGASUPERTRILLION OCTAZILLION!!!!!
Posted
10:10 AM
by Gene
This Branson East theme park's closing? P. S. Hey Andrew! Clever of you to copy from your own press release!
Posted
9:18 AM
by Gene
While forcing ourselves to skim this I Want Media link we noticed a URL on the bottom of the screen: something like "meter-svc.nytimes.com". Please, Your Lordship Pinch, deny us junk like this!
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
![]() Uh, buddy, if we're innocent of playing the letch to our students via Facebook shouldn't we have worn a slightly different T-shirt?
Posted
8:41 AM
by Gene
Posted
12:43 AM
by Gene
We wonder -- would The Econowiz still be going gangbusters if all those CEOs read it?
Posted
12:35 AM
by Gene
SLIME, if You're going to run such half-witted stuff as this couldn't You put the JOURNALS behind a wall the way You did the TIMES -- completely, utterly and impenetrably? (Via the annoying AHTSJournal) Sunday, October 17, 2010
Posted
11:02 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:42 PM
by Gene
J is next -- AS IN: ![]()
Posted
11:05 AM
by Gene
I would say the Gophers should learn from their experience, but this being HYER EHDYUKAYSHUN it is highly unlikely anyone will learn anything. Yep, Minnesota fired another football CEO. RAH RAH! (Via ASSPress)
Posted
10:30 AM
by Gene
![]() A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (POLITICAL DIVISION) TO ADAM!
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