Posted 6:39 PM by Gene

Here is why the Os-CARS® no longer work: It was a big ceremony for big people. At least all those big people excused all the lunkheaded winners. But the big people slowly vanished, increasingly exposing their successors as very little people, and the winners as ever more lunkheaded; and where regardless of production numbers some taste came naturally to the big people the very little people tried to invent it and merely showed they had no taste (remember Rob Lowe and Snow White?); so the A-ca-de-my® has now opted to shrink the proceedings with the ever-increasing danger of turning them into just another TV show* -- an odd thing in that all but the industry's most stalwart toadies must admit the biz became TV a long time ago, and that's part of why, whatever the show's many faults, the biz and the Os-CARS® are now so irreversibly little.

*Think the long-overdue reduction of the Best Song category to a medley -- and that is too much exposure. (And incidentally we found this twaddle from TVGuide.com that makes us wonder why the owners couldn't have deep-sixed the whole property when they had the chance. The dimwit mentions only two songs before 1965, and one, "Moon River", he calls a "masterpiece." Ladies and gentlemen, we have found an Academy Award®-winning definition for the word DORK.)

P. S. at 8:53 p. m. Moving the Os-CARS® up to January won't make them less of a joke. Getting tentpoles among the nominees may make them more of a joke.

P. P. S. at 9:12 p. m. Ann of The Daily Kaplan turns ac-TING into nuclear physics. When will all the hacks' accreting garbage finally become an environmental concern?

"[T]hey're not just in the now, they're in the now of the now."

And your horse-and-buggy business is in the THEN OF THE THEN.

Posted 4:54 PM by Gene

Obama Has Plan to Slash Deficit, Despite Stimulus Bill

And I have a BRIDGE...oh, never mind.

Posted 1:55 PM by Gene

IN THE HOME OF THE 2016 GAMES!!!!!:

"It's very sad that many children have lost their lives at this intersection in less than 12 months."

It's also very sad that the official neighborhood motto is most likely "NO SNITCHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- meaning many more children must lose their lives.

ONE!!!!!, ATTORNEY GENERAL COWARD, where ARE you?

Posted 1:35 PM by Gene

Today (in what is turning into something of a roadshow) HERR DOKTOR faces off again with the LEFT-WING JO-NAH here in the Quonset Hut, and we're close to liking the guy -- how can you not like the guy for talking this way? And then we remember he hasn't had a "hit" (for him a hit) for close to two decades, which makes his KULT like him all the more, and we like him some more.

(Via AhtsJournal)

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

Say "but" often enough, U. S. Muslims, and you'll wind up in more crucibles. Only when you stop saying "but" to everything from terrorism to obscene domestic crimes will you get out of those crucibles.

Posted 12:03 PM by Gene

THIS is what gets con-SER-va-tives mad -- not that The One's "socializing" the economy, not even that he's further screwing up home mortgages, but that he's LIMITING CEO PAY!!!!!!!!!!

A lot of good those big bonuses did HAHVAHD MUTUAL FUND.

And AIG FINANCIAL PRODUCTS.

(Via JENNI-FER, who really must take up the proverbial cudgel and protest at the White House, carrying a sign: "YES FOR EXORBITANT CEO PAY!")

Posted 11:38 AM by Gene

WHOOPS: Hahvahd Mutual Fund has been in the tank for some time -- and Larry Summers, who some con-SER-va-tives called a HERO, and who The One chose as an economic savior, is partly to blame.

Posted 11:29 AM by Gene

Another word cloud from that ALCOHOL CLOUD:



I don't know, WHISKEY WUSSY -- you almost seem to want to give up your job!

GO FOR IT!

CDL AT FOURTEEN CENTS.

I have a better number, though: The combined age of Geraldo, Imus and Cavett is just over 206. I guess that explains "OLDTHINK".

P. S. Ol' Bourbon Fumes claims to have given up the sauce 21 years ago, but we suspect more than once in the presence of friendly press agents like JEFF "MENSA" GREENFIELD he'd say he did his best "work" drunk. He certainly said this:

"Some people don't deserve to be picked on, who I picked on -- so I don't do it anymore."

Some basketball players at Rutgers thoroughly disproved this. And the obverse is true -- witness DR. EVIL. And as we all know, once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic -- so he shall always be an honorary drunk to me.

Posted 11:04 AM by Gene

Here is why no editorial cartoonists will ever do a good caricature of The One: First off, face it, he doesn't have a truly distinctive feature for them to hang their pencils on -- at best they make him preternaturally skinny; but more important, they're afraid if they do their jobs too well they'll be racist. Rest assured, cartoonists, given your biz' rep and stock prices the last thing you do is your jobs well.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 11:01 AM by Gene

Sandy did it! Sandy "Mozilo" Dodd did it! He opened his mouth and caused the markets to tank! Jo-NAH!!!!! JENNI-FER!!!!! Why aren't you doing something about this! Sandy's an ENEMY OF CAPITALISM!!!!!

And there is NO GREATER CRIME than to CAUSE STOCKS TO FALL!!!!!

CEOs and Madoffs excepted.

Posted 10:35 AM by Gene

We're a cat lover, and we know what it's like to lose one, and of course we feel sad for Socks, but ASSPress, don't you think 671 words is too many for even a Presidential cat, especially given all the fine people who never get to merit one because YOU choose not to find out who they were?

Posted 7:11 PM by Gene

Mr. Douthat points to this TNR blog entry in which the author confesses to his "glibness". If we're going to condemn "glibness" let's go back to the inventor of glib: James Boswell. Boswell worshiped Dr. Johnson as a great intellectual; but ultimately he turned his biography into a collection of his quips; he had to simply because Boswell was such a sharp-eared journalist and Dr. Johnson was such an overwhelming wit. Of course the quips helped firm the Dr. in the public mind for all time. Perhaps glibness has a bad rep as it's so intertwined with cheap partisanship. Very understandable. But as I say too often I'd rather hear an amusing sound-bite than a deadly diatribe. The Volokhheads' success points to the excruciating appeal of longwindedness, because to some longwindedness is thought. It might merely be an expulsion of air. I'll take glib any day if it gets to the heart of the matter.

To be sure, however, shortwindedness is not a virtue when Twittering is merely longwindedness in fast-forward.

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

On September 15 12.2 billion years ago there was a gamma-ray explosion for which cataclysm is but a word, something again denoting the infinite universe and infinitesimal man.

That it was 12.2 billion years before Lehman went broke should also help us put our cataclysms in perspective.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Speaking of HARVEY WHINER's Os-CAR® winner (whom this Kaplan, Inc. keyboard tickler must refer to as an ac-TOR) we paraphrase Mark Twain's old line: We'd rather go to bed with Audrey Hepburn in full regalia than Kate W. stark naked.

P. S. DAMMIT! Kaplan's still well off its lows. But ST. WARREN hit a new one (though it recovered, double-dammit).

P. P. S. We had to alter that Twain paraphrase because the quote seems to take several forms -- and we can't even be sure he said it because no one can point to a specific source. Just because it sounds like him doesn't mean it is him.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

That $49,050,000,000 must have gone somewhere.

Switzerland and Africa do seem good bets, the first for protecting crooks and the second for its kleptomania.

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

S&P, which specialized in GRADE INFLATION, now says the credit crunch has just started.

Given the source do we dare hope this isn't definitive?

It is also worth mentioning that Standard & Poor's apparently failed to predict the bankruptcy of Iceland in 2008, a country that had a very high rating until it suddenly collapsed.

Apparently.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

Let us guess, the "stimulus" leads may-ERS to do what they do best: create bloated bureaucracies and convictions -- until the money runs out and they have to fire lots of people.

We hope we're wrong, but we live in a city.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

And speaking of, when was the last time someone at THE BIG C didn't open his mouth -- and put his foot in it?

In the annals of CNBC cluelessness, this morning’s outburst by the channel’s Rick Santelli is up there with the worst.

The Big C IS an annal of cluelessness.

We understand what this BIG C MOUTH is saying -- we shouldn't have to bail out deadbeats. But we could be past the time when we can comfortably make that moral distinction.

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

Maybe we should get HARVEY WHINER on the case and OPEN HIS MOUTH. He makes money opening his mouth.

At least he used to.

(Via The Daily Beast)

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

Okay Paul, so now that the "Crisis May be Even Worse than Depression", what would you do about it?

[I]t was important to take decisive actions, including a more effective regulatory structure and some movement toward uniform accounting systems, Volcker said.

He said all financial institutions that are deemed too large to fail should be subject to increased scrutiny, echoing the findings of the Group of 30, a panel of policy-makers and influential economists, which he leads.

Well! We're glad YOU'RE on the case!

Posted 3:07 PM by Gene

PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE GOD! LUKE SPIELBERG IS A CONSERVATIVE! HE SAYS NO TO CEO PAY LIMITS!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!!!!!!

Lucas said he does not make $500,000 per year as the CEO of Lucasfilm Ltd.

“I don’t make that much money – not by a long shot,” he said.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Via ShowBizData)

Posted 1:06 PM by Gene

Madoff Trustee Says Firm Likely Bought No Securities

So where did $49,050,000,000 go?

Simple: Bernie was a Potemkin trader.

Posted 9:09 AM by Gene

People who insist that we need big newspapers may be missing the point. No news organization can ever get all the facts; we need multiple sources, which we get on the Web. Consider these two takes on the used-car biz. It is hard enough to discern which is right (or righter), but I'd rather have more than one news source any day on any topic.

After all, we know about doctors and second opinions, and most jernalists aren't smarter than doctors.

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

Not that anyone recalls President Obama asking....

TRANSLATION: Some people can never stop being president.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

This should be easy: a bio of THE LAUREATE. A few choice personal tidbits and 500 pages of logrolling.

We're not mocking Mr. Begley; we'd just say regardless of who writes it that will be the outcome.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:10 AM by Gene

The Paper of Re-CORD admits after a few months people may not like us regardless of who's president.

Nirvana may not be all it's cooked up to be.

Posted 8:15 PM by Gene

Comparing any group to The Beatles risks musical heresy. That said, these lads are on the manic trail.

Heresy? In old "Accent-on-Net's" rag? It would be heresy NOT to call them the new Beatles!

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE...oh hell, nearly every article in USAOKAY!!!!! is a NEUHARTHISM.

GCI AT $3.86 -- A THIRTY-YEAR LOW.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

Speaking of PEOPLE WARNER, that sound of a thousand air compressors you hear is the TWXSTERS preparing an SI swimsuit issue.

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

Speaking of the A-WARDS®, we suppose this story broke because 1. She has her Os-CAR®, 2. She has her synergistic drooling toady (MARK! MARK!), 3. She has the law of diminishing returns, and 4. Even Hollywood ac-TORS do not get any younger.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Oscar ad revenue is expected to be significantly lower for ABC this year; ABC is currently offering one particular deal at a cost of $765,000, down from $1.14 million.

Culver's what?

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

BRANSON EAST's biggest theme park is delaying its opening, presumably until the owners figure out how to work in the 3D.

We are not altogether kidding.

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

It is very sad that PAPEROFRECORDCO has suspended its dividend, but it is very sad that The Paper of Re-CORD still refuses to listen to reason.

Posted 4:54 PM by Gene

Well, at least he won't pull a Vesco.

Posted 3:02 PM by Gene

GE BANCORP BREAKS TEN BUCKS INTRADAY!

A few dollars more and it may have to be nationalized!

Posted 2:01 PM by Gene

According to reports—which may well be apocryphal—Sir Allen had tried to charter a corporate jet near Houston, but was turned away because the operator would not take his credit card.

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Posted 1:48 PM by Gene

KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!

Academics – long prolific political contributors – were among the biggest donors to Barack Obama’s presidential campaign.

And now the idealism's paying off!

Posted 1:24 PM by Gene

THE NE PLUS ULTRA IN RENDELLISM! (posted in full)

While PA-backed movie plan flops, private Phila studio is a hit!!!!! [Hooray for Phillywood!!!!! overemphasis added]

While plans to create a 100,000-square-foot movie studio at a Norristown shopping center with $10 million in Pennsylvania taxpayer funds have languished and the very idea of state subsidies for Hollywood is under attack, a King of Prussia developer has turned an empty Philadelphia factory building into a larger "studio filming space" that's already attracted an A-list project, and interest from others, without a dime of government money.

Director M. Night Shyamalan and Paramount Pictures are filming parts of "The Last Airbender" at a 180,000-square-foot former Budd Co. warehouse in East Falls, says Nicholas P. Cannone of landlord Preferred Unlimited Inc.

"Paramount and M. Knight's team are currently constructing massive sets, some close to three stories high, making use of the staggering 35-foot ceiling heights and 75-foot column bays" where Budd used to build stainless-steel railcars and auto parts, Cannone told me.

Filming starts this spring, with a sequel on the drawing board. "We hope to have Paramount and M. Knight on site for a few years." Cannone says Sony Pictures and other "major studios have toured our site in hopes to reuse the remaining warehouse space on site as studio space."

Preferred, owned by developer Michael O'Neill, has rehabbed other parts of the Budd complex as a 260,000 square foot office building for Temple University Health Sytem [Hooray for Phillywood SIC!!!!!] on Hunting Park Ave. and a 30,000-square foot Fresenius Medical Dialysis Center. And it donated 12 acres to the Salvation Army "to be developed into a Ray and Joan Kroc Community Center," funded by the late McDonald's founders' foundation, where construction began last month.

IN SHORT: A bad-movee shoot maybe one month of the year, and most of the rest of the space rented to non-profits. Add in the twelve-acre tax break and that not-a-dime-of-government-money talk is baloney. We wouldn't expect otherwise from a paper making noises about its own handout.



Give yourself a hand, EDDIE!

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

Sorry, Kaplan, Inc's. posthumous favor shows the world doesn't need a LACK of newspapers for corruption to fester.

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

The Daily Kaplan successfully spins NewsMAX's reporting on DR. EVIL by making him a victim of J. EDGAR -- because some REPUBLICANS wanted people to believe he was GAY.

Why do you need to do favors two years after this clown died, ST. WARREN?

A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO JOE!

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

In continuing news of SUH ALLEN, DA POST reports that a prominent sports management firm agreed to have him "advise" its clients -- who included TIGER, ARNIE, SERGIO....

Why am I thinking this scam wouldn't have been half it was if SUH didn't have the chance to pal around with athuhletes?

And of COURSE he had to be a tax deadbeat, which made him the PERFECT fit.

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

IMPORTANT NEWS FROM AL REUT:

• Mickey Rourke's beloved brown and white Chihuahua dies at 18

OR:

Mickey Rourke loses beloved chihuahua in Oscar week

The link was on Yahoo!'s home page, so it must have been important.

Posted 7:23 PM by Gene

Yet another PGA TOUR sponsor goes broke.

FOLLOW THE LACK OF MONEY!

Posted 6:58 PM by Gene

In more (and postdated!) professional dimwittery from Pvt. Zell's hacks (whatever happened to him? Doing permanent KP?) we learn (although Rachel would rather not have to say it) some of the AHTISTIC WOMEN OF FILLUM may have second thoughts about doing it in the ALTOGETHER when they may wind up on PRON sites.

Well who'd have known AHT would have its -- BAD SIDE?



ANOTHER NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD -- TO RACHEL!

(Whoops! That's what you get when you use Google Images!)

P. S.

Buyers purchased buildings at what, in retrospect, were vastly inflated prices. Lenders provided lavish, even excessive, financing based on unrealistic expectations of rising rents. And now that values are tumbling, vacancy rates are rising and credit has become impossibly tight, many on both sides are struggling against default, foreclosure or bankruptcy.

Pvt. Zell really spread his business acumen around! What happened to the $39 billion?

Posted 6:43 PM by Gene

Rap producer Marion "Suge" Knight has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery for beating a woman in a Las Vegas parking lot last year.

Another [C]RAPPER makes a BRILLIANT career move.

Posted 6:41 PM by Gene

And SUH ALLEN's exploits may be worse than Bernie's because he had tendrils in Latin America, where the folks already love us.

Posted 6:34 PM by Gene

Then-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay of Texas used Stanford’s private jet at least 16 times from 2003 through 2006, financial disclosures show. Senator John McCain of Arizona, the 2008 Republican presidential nominee, was the third-largest recipient of campaign donations from Stanford, his employees and the company’s political action committee.

Well how do you like them Democrats!

But then what scam would be complete without Sandy Dodd and CHOLLY in the mix?

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

IDIOTS ON THE MARCH!

(Via Chronicle.com, where we hear too many people shaking their learned bobbleheads in agreement)

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

Stanford Gave Hypothetical Data as Actual Performance

Doesn't Wall Street?

Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

The formerly (and repudiated) Wizard of Oz is for bank nationalization. The current Wizard is against.

Which Wiz is?

Posted 5:56 PM by Gene

EM runs a "fictitious story" about the WAXMAN reviving the Fairness Doctrine because of the possibly fictitious notion the Dems don't want to revive it.

Six of one....

Meantime, somewhere, the President, or one of his interns....

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

Diane Ravitch falls into that trap of mistaking the END OF BOOK REVUEING for the end of LITERATURE. How many times must we say it -- because of culture, because of the media-industrial complex, because of academe, and because of boring authors themselves, more and more books are exactly alike, and more and more readers read fewer and fewer books. And who wants to read dull revues of dull books? Yes, reading mind-numbing Web sites creates GIGO, but it's better than nothing. I too bemoan the lack of a high culture, but we're closer to not getting it the more we wail about THE DAILY KAPLAN cutting its BOOK-REVUE SECTION. I'd rather read an airhead typing phonetically than THE LAUREATE or HISTORY'S GREATEST SATIRIST LOGROLLING.

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

When CBS cuts its dividend by 81 percent does that hurt SUMNER's piggy bank?

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

Speaking of, a fight between NRO and Head Scratchin' Jonny Alter is a fight over who has the bigger spitball.

Posted 4:53 PM by Gene

A KNEE-JERK LIBERAL can't tell the difference among 1. The person who, through no fault of his own, finds himself on the street, suddenly destitute, and in grave need of help; 2. The mentally ill substance abuser who lives on the street, also in grave need of help, but needing others' help as he can't help himself; and 3. The professional beggar annoying people on the street. One justifies all three, and allows the knee-jerk liberal to be a pig head.

A KNEE-JERK CON-SER-VA-TIVE thinks a man's worth is his net worth. (Unless, of course, he's GEORGE SOROS, or contributes to LIBERAL causes, like BERNIE and SUH ALLEN.)

Posted 2:47 PM by Gene

WOW!!!!! Jo-NAH the RIGHT-WING FRANK RICH tells us what we're missing by not bothering with THE PROFESSOR anymore:

How Much Does the Stimulus Weigh? [Jonah Goldberg]

Via Instapundit, Dave Foulk says it's 86,759 tons — in one dollar bills. That's more than an Iowa class battleship. In pennies, that'd be 216,898 tons, which by my rudimentary math is what scientists call, "even heavier."

02/18 02:24 PM

Like, WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2:30 PM by Gene

Playboy Open to Sale Talks
Reports $145.7 million fourth quarter loss.

OUCH!!!!!

This will happen when under-17s turn to PRON-pirates.

Then again, it couldn't have happened to a nicer social visionary.

...interim chairman and CEO Jerome Kern....

We think you'd be better off writing music, Jerry.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 2:23 PM by Gene

Oh oh, Pirate Bay comes to KOLLEDGE TEKSTBUKS!

Some university presses — along with other publishers — are trying to join forces to deal with the problem.

Stop charging $400 per might help.

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Vijay Singh Will Continue To Wear Stanford Financial Logos

This should make him almost as popular as Wrong-Way!

Oh wait, he already is.

Posted 1:53 PM by Gene

And speaking of our favorite press agent, he tells us Hollywood's Legal Cause Celebre isn't coming back to the U. S., evidently because he had sex with a 13-year-old.

And no, chanting "CLASSIC" ten thousand times doesn't help.

He also tells us the sound of 100 gnats flying is Os-CAR® buzz.

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

Wait a second! Who's the pope around here?

Posted 1:43 PM by Gene

If you turn the new Pepsi logo and the new Kraft Foods corporate logo upside down you get the companies' true feelings toward the public as revealed through their financing of JUNK TELEVISION.

Posted 1:40 PM by Gene

And speaking of Zeitgeist -- two more glamorous faces contend for the Os-CARS®!

Posted 1:32 PM by Gene

"We'll be more opinionated, but we aren't going to be partisan."

THE BIBLE ENDORSES GAY MARRIAGE!!!!! and ANYONE WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING IS A SOCIOPATH!!!!! would seem to say otherwise.

Posted 1:30 PM by Gene

1:05 PM ProPublica interviews Yale chief investment officer David Swensen - "one of the world's savviest investors." His response to those who say the ale model has failed. "Relative to what?" See also. [From Seeking Alpha]

Beer!

Posted 1:28 PM by Gene

We *all* know the private sector is the problem [*SIC*]

TRANSLATION: We all know the private sector is *never* the problem.

Posted 11:35 AM by Gene

SUH ALLEN GAVE MONEY TO DEMOCRATS!!!!!!!!!!

So?

Posted 6:52 PM by Gene

Last summer we noted how SUMNER (we didn't mention him by name) "[did] a WKRP on The Fugitive". The fans were livid and remained so. Fortunately one of His lieutenants listened. The people will not be denied.

(Via Film Score Monthly -- an explanation for that later)

Posted 4:20 PM by Gene

FROM PEOPLE WARNER CABLE NEWS:

President Obama has approved a significant troop increase for Afghanistan, Pentagon officials say.

Oh well, there goes the campaign.

Posted 3:48 PM by Gene

HMMM, we didn't see THIS:

"SIB's accountant, C.A.S. Hewlett & Co., a small local accounting firm in Antigua, is responsible for auditing the multi-billion dollar SID's investment portfolio. The Commission attempted several times to contact Hewlett by telephone. No one ever answered the phone."

Hey guys, call (268) 462-1373 -- and ask for SHELLY!

Posted 3:09 PM by Gene

KNIGHT COMMAN-DUH OF THE MOST DIS-TINNNNNNNNNN-GUISHED OR-DUH OF THE NATION (Antigua and Barbuda).

Shucks, a few more investments and he'd have been LAWD STAN-FUHD.

Posted 3:00 PM by Gene

Suh also sponsors crrrrrricket -- you know, England's version of SELIGISM.

The new agreement with Stanford is the result of months of negotiations since the staging of the inaugural Super Series in October. It is thought the next contract is worth a fraction of the $100 million deal that was trumpeted by the Texan landing his helicopter on the Nursery Ground at Lord’s.

Hmmmm, I wonder why?

Those who oppose Stanford’s involvement with English cricket may well wonder why the Board have simply not walked away from dealing with him again. But Stanford’s money is an attractive carrot in a recession and in three years’ time the worldwide economy may have improved and he could turn out to be a generous benefactor again.

Or he could be in jail, whichever comes first.

P. S. at 3:22 p. m. Shucks, I guess he won't be sponsoring crrrrrricket anymore.

P. S. at 3:27 p. m. BUT THERE WILL BE GOLF IN MEMPHIS!!!!! (Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 2:56 PM by Gene

Suh Allen is an official PGA TOUR and LPGA SPONSOR!

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 2:50 PM by Gene

SIB's investment committee, responsible for the management of the bank's multi-billion dollar portfolio of assets, is comprised of Stanford; Stanford's father who resides in Mexia, Tex.; another Mexia resident with business experience in cattle ranching and car sales; Pendergest-Holt, who prior to joining SFG had no financial services or securities industry experience; and Davis, who was Stanford's college roommate, the SEC said.

We be-long to a mu-tuuuuuu-alllllll aaaaaaaad-mi-raaaaaaaation so-ci-e-ty!

Posted 2:31 PM by Gene

Hey Irene! Merge with PepsiCo!

Posted 2:08 PM by Gene

Further on the subject of high finance, we haven't the foggiest idea what John the Don is up to. He's still buying a pink-sheet stock, it's still paying too much to Howell Strong (sp?) and SELIG, and it still has debt due. This sounds about as smart as St. Warren's buy into GE BANCORP.

Posted 1:54 PM by Gene

Another Madoff, in Texas. This is not surprising, as we could have suspected as much, with scams multiplying as they will like flies around money. What is scary is this:

The company claims to have more than $50 billion in assets under management or advisement.

Does this mean potentially $50 billion at risk? That was the Madoff number.

This sounds for all the world like a glorified money-laundering scheme.

(Via The Daily Kaplan, which also notes, "[O]ne of Stanford's companies falsely told customers that it was not exposed" to Bernie. Also, per the Chronicle, this outfit also "falsely claimed" that "[t]he portfolio is subject to annual audits by Antiguan regulators." Let's substitute "Nigerian" for that and see if anyone notices.)

(P. S.: We will NOT credit the FRANK RICH OF THE RIGHT who "linked" to the Daily Kaplan story on his Web site as he only linked to the home page, perhaps still basking in the glory of CONSERVATIVE MOVIES, and as he would not link to any site not recommended by the sixteenthwit WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.)

Posted 6:20 PM by Gene

Why not recycle props? Branson East recycles shows.

(Via the usual AhtsJournal)

Posted 6:10 PM by Gene

The good news: the world's petrovillains are in decline.

The bad news: the last time Russia had a revolution it didn't have nukes.

Posted 4:07 PM by Gene

Hello Obama, goodbye meaningful music
Young, Democrat presidents usually inspire lame pop trends

...and lame think pieces about trends inspired by young, "Democrat" presidents.

Did this article take up more time and thinking than any serious reporting on the president at the Mess today? I do think so!



A NEUIHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO TONY!

Posted 3:33 PM by Gene

NY senator, husband keep 2 rifles under their bed

Doesn't that make them Republicans? Or does it mean she's campaigning?

Posted 2:37 PM by Gene

By the way, speaking of palsy-walsies, whatever happened to that pompous drunken fraud DON?

Well, David "300" Bauder of the ASSPress says he's bigger and BETTER THAN EVER! (Keep in mind that any article quoting the PUBLISHER OF TALKERS!!!!! is an advertorial.)

Wall Street says his employer's worth SIXTEEN CENTS A SHARE -- down OVER NINETY-THREE PERCENT from when it hired him.

And he's down sharply elsewhere on Wall Street too.

And if David Axelrod hasn't been on with that soused louse, he should be.



And judging from Ol' Sloshing Brine's word cloud of January 14 he isn't attracting JEFF MENSA-MAN GREENFIELDS the way he used to -- and no, Putrid Pickle-Brain, you DON'T have to tell us who's NO. 1. (Odd words here: "Russert", "time" [SIC!!!!!], "Godzilla" and "WHITE.")

But here's one from February 9:



Somebody trying to take over your SHOW, LIQUOR LUNATIC?

And from last Friday, our PICTURE OF THE DAY:



STILL SIXTEEN CENTS A SHARE, ROTGUT REEK.

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

We likewise find it hard to believe the fool Jerry Jones hasn't found a sponsor. Why are naming rights only a waste of money in a bad economy?

Posted 11:24 AM by Gene

We fear this sudden sponsor urge to abandon the Os-CARS® is but a temporary thing. Then again, so long as the A-ca-de-MY® honors pretentious bores, it should cheerfully pay the consequences -- and cheerful, we suspect, is the word.

Posted 11:19 AM by Gene

Whether a czar or a committee, whoever tries to fix our auto biz will have ample opportunity to be incompetent. We'd bet on the committee approach to be superior for that. Too many cooks bankrupt the auto biz.

And Timmy's just the man to lead the committee burying the business.

Posted 11:13 AM by Gene

We said it before, we'll say it again: Just as we find it difficult to feel sorry for all these unneeded folding retailers we find it difficult to feel sorry for the burbs that needed them for tax revenues. A lot of the development was inspired by retailers zooming from cities, and debt and more debt piled on the rest. All these suitably empty boxes are monuments to social breakdown and useless consumption.

[E]mpty Linens 'n Things stores are often located next to the liquidating Circuit City stores, which aren't far from Cost Plus' World Market chain, which is closing 26 of its big stores. They are blight on the horizon and sad reminders of the economy's bleakness.

The cities know blight thanks in part to selfish retailers; now its the burbs' turn.

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

You mean Sam Donaldson finally decided to shut up?

Posted 12:21 AM by Gene

Another story a pliant press has buried, and neither the story nor the burial surprises us -- and though it comes from NewsMAX!!!!! and is thus tainted, we thoroughly believe it:

Jack Valenti, a top aide to President Lyndon B. Johnson and longtime president of the Motion Picture Association of America, was investigated by the FBI for his relationships with a "top hoodlum."

Documents obtained by Newsmax under the Freedom of Information Act also reveal that Valenti's father and father-in-law were both jailed for embezzlement.

And an unsubstantiated report claimed that Valenti, who died in April 2007 at age 85, had arranged for an abortion for a woman impregnated by LBJ.

Friend of the Washington elite indeed.

Posted 9:18 PM by Gene

Hope for the Brits yet:

KFC creating 9,000 jobs in new outlets

Posted 7:48 PM by Gene

Japan's GDP slumps an annualized 12.7% on-quarter in Q4

Can there be any doubt this may be beyond what showboating screaming lobby-helping louts like Dave Obey or hide-under-the-dais wimps like Tim Geithner can do?

Posted 7:35 PM by Gene

I'm sure we all feel very sorry that the Russian business mafia is ever-so-slightly poorer.

Posted 7:20 PM by Gene

To think $10,000 might cost this doofus his Senate seat; but with Illinois pols we're not dealing with rocket scientists -- or Abe Lincolns, whatever the White House press corps may spin.

Posted 7:15 PM by Gene

Our definition of a triple-whammy: First NASCAR's in a funk; second, its premiere event is rain-shortened; and third, all those NON-MASTER-OF-THE-UNIVERSE CEOS will only be able to say "I WAS AT THE DAYTONA 500 AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!" for two weeks, not three.

Posted 7:07 PM by Gene

Speaking of MOVEES, we can't fathom this long winning streak. The show-biz news hacks (who can't stop pinching themselves, and PAUL DRECK pinching our nerves) will say DE -- recession, people need to feel good, blahblablah. We suspect it's a scheduling quirk, and would not be surprised if the next few weeks temporarily put the brakes on all this feel good.

And by our best bad guess total attendance is up by the grand total of 20 MILLION, or a few more than watched the GRAMMYS.

Posted 6:58 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Mr. Rosenbaum's blistering article has gotten caught up in MOVEE BIZ politics, and unintentionally becomes yet another stench in the already skunk-smelly Os-CAR® lobbying pursuit, which nonetheless shouldn't disqualify his anger.

(Via The Daily Beast)

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The AHT BIZ is so incestuous and so full of no-talents and carnival barkers its output can never improve; thankfully this time the Madoffs won't be around to pull it out of its hole.

(Via the usual AhtsJournal)

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

Oral Roberts says he doesn't think his son, who has been accused of misspending funds at the university the evangelist founded, did anything wrong.

Understandable: the man who built the City of Faith did nothing wrong either.

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

The next time con-SER-va-tives scream about how MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE must scrimp under SOCIALISM let us keep in mind people like nurses who must work for a living.

Posted 1:22 PM by Gene

If we had a dollar for every scam the MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE knew about....

we could avoid nationalizing the banks!

Posted 1:19 PM by Gene

This report that the awful brush fires in Australia may have started from downed power lines confirms our notion that the authorities may have been asleep through this one.

Posted 1:05 PM by Gene

The no-longer-very-Big Three think they can escape destruction by latching on to a buzzword -- CONNECTIVITY!

Given how many of this new young target audience would surf and e-mail and Twitter and iPod and cellphone while driving they may merely have latched onto a new form of destruction.

Posted 11:11 AM by Gene

While dozens, hundreds of important stories remain underreported for lack of hack interest, this moronic typing commanded a warm body -- and editors -- and the commanding resources of The NEW Econo -- er, The NEW New York -- er, The NEW ATLAN -- ER.....



A NOT-SO-NEW NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO KURT -- AND JONBOY!

Posted 1:13 AM by Gene

I've said before show-biz coverage stinks. It is bad enough that it plays tricks when you look things up on the Web. Case in point: I've been trying for some time to locate information on this deconsecrated East Side church that served as a Columbia Records studio from 1949 to (I think) 1982, when it was demolished. (I believe a condo stands there now.) Anyone who loves music and records will know of 201 E. 30th St. -- a landmark studio with superb acoustics where thousands of famous recordings were made. But look it up in Google and half the entries seem derived from some dimwitted press release for some preposterous attempt to MONETIZE the many photos made there, written by some twenty-something intern musical illiterate who insists the only records made there were Highway 61 Revisited, Kind of Blue and West Side Story. (Sometimes we condescendingly throw in Lady Day, although she was virtually finished when she recorded there.) And he probably had to ask somebody who didn't know much about music (meaning a LEGENDARY DAVIS functionary, no doubt). If the IDIOTS at ROOTKIT MUSIC -- I mean Sony Music Entertainment made some of the pictures available on the Web we might know that more than WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE DYLAN and Miles Davis recorded there. And that's important because this Highway61RevisitedKindfofBlueWestSideStory nonsense says in so many words everything else recorded there was nonexistent and can safely be ignored. Just one example I've seen: Decades ago in a Masterworks anthology of cast-album music (what is THAT?) was a picture (printed teeny-tiny) of cast and crew members of Gypsy huddled around the 30th Street control board (think Jule Styne, Stephen Sondheim, and Sandra Church, the original Gypsy Rose -- there were others) -- and there at the knobs was the walrus-faced Fred Plaut, the label's most brilliant engineer -- from the little I can glean a German refugee, formerly with Polydor. (Nat Hentoff says he was from France.) And he wasn't even identified, indeed he is very seldom identified in what pictures do appear of him. (There's another picture in that anthology from the Bells Are Ringing session -- also printed teeny-tiny -- showing Plaut adjusting a mike while Judy Holliday beams at her three-year-old son.) Anyone who's listened to as many Columbia CDs as I will know his smooth, perfect sound. Surely this is something more than Highway61RevisitedKindfofBlueWestSideStory. And yes, he did KIND OF BLUE. And no, his face does not show up through Google.

And it does no good to look up Don Hunstein, the extraordinary photographer from Columbia's golden age -- all the entries are of the DAMNED WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE DYLAN and Miles recording Kind of Blue. Sometimes I think the whole Internet's run by WEENIES.

P. S. Before 30th Street Columbia recorded at Liederkranz Hall, another building of which it is near impossible to find information despite its significance. Bix Beiderbecke recorded there. So did Blue Eyes. (So did Victor.) If I am right Columbia had to give it up when CBS insisted on turning it into a TV studio. It was demolished in the mid-50s.



P. P. S. I've located more information: the studio was originally the Adams-Parkhurst Memorial Presbyterian Church, built in 1875. It sometimes is referred to as "an Armenian church" as the Armenian Evangelical Church (now on East 34th Street; broken link) shared the facility for 25 years. So did radio station WLIB. It had two spires which were demolished before Columbia took possession. This confusing site devoted to church organs in New York gives the address as 207 E. 30th, but they're identifiably the same building. It also says it was demolished in 1965, which is either for another church or flat-out wrong.

(Revised with this correction on 2/19/2010 at 12:10 p. m.: That confusing church-organ site says the church was demolished "subsequent" to '65, but no mention of Columbia Records.)

Posted 1:11 AM by Gene

Barbie Struts Her Stuff at Fashion Week

More superlative reporting from the ASSPress!

Yes, we know, man cannot live by bread alone, but DAMMIT Curley (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) why the constant diet of junk food?