Posted 10:30 PM by Gene

On the cover of America's Leadi -- The Newsrag of the Zeitgeist: Exercise and the brain! That means we must be up to something internationally! Let's see...

We are: putting people to sleep with the European Union at 50. C'mon, Jon -- do better next time!

Posted 10:21 PM by Gene

The Dukes of Hazzard fall victim to the PC movement in Cincinnati.

Our culture grows grotesquely violent while simultaneously hiding below ground at the mere thought of offending "protected" minority groups -- hypocrisy run amok, and yet another example of how PC plays mind games on the republic, and makes us all mad, in several senses.

(Via ArtsJournal)

Posted 8:25 PM by Gene

Our prediction (as if even we care): not guilty by reason of insanity. His race won't help. LALA's "justice system" will.

Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

By accident we came to know why that story about that knocked-off Marvel Entertainment character was a total waste of news resources and an insult to the public: it has not stopped a Captain America movie from remaining in development.

Indeed note when the chart spikes -- around the time of this PR stunt. HSX.com's fans aren't stupid, even if moviegoers and news hacks are.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

Here in brief is why I hate big business: A company in these here parts that named a stadium for itself is moving offices out of town. It claims it is not moving its corporate HQ, but this is mere semantics; the $20 million CEO's moving, presumably to be closer to his golf game, and definitely so he won't have to pay our city's wage tax. Then a spokespoop comes along and insists the company has an undying fealty to our city, which reminds me why PR is high on my s-list. Then I get angry because so many companies like GE BANCORP AND REALTY, which shrieked out of cities everywhere to avoid politically correct races, are now lying down and playing dead doing PC. Business, politicians, the press, show-biz and academe seem engaged in a fight to see who can commit the greatest affronts, and to screw the greatest number of people in doing so.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

A story like this is a sort of nyah-nyah-nyah at conservatives. We have our bloggers! So there! Fact is Josh Marshall and most of the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are professional writers, and they've succeeded because they know how to network. And for all their alleged adeptness the SUPES still break a fraction of a stories as the dread MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM. (Moreover both Talking Points and TPMMuckraker have seen recent audience declines, as with most of the SUPES.) And I am not impressed that our author says bloggers do such a fantastic job covering baseball. When I have to read 500 blogs to learn of a sport what do I gain except a sort of low-grade insanity? Why should I have to read 500 blogs? Can't you press clowns do your work right?

Posted 1:25 PM by Gene

The sad, sad tale of Attorney General Sleepy Gonzales reminds us of Warren Harding's old line:

“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!”

Of course as we've seen from his presidency Dubya does a lot of sleepwalking.

Posted 11:55 AM by Gene

Speaking of "conservatism", it is obvious a small coterie of "influential pundits" is doing more than its share to talk up Sen. Law-and-Order.

If the right's suspicious of Boobs McKeating why should it be so gung ho for him?

Posted 11:42 AM by Gene

``Complicit is too strong a word, but this is a guy who presided over a bubble in the equity markets,'' said Charles White, who helps manage $1.8 billion at ThomasLloyd Asset Management in Pleasantville, New York. ``He was the provider of liquidity to the financial markets, and he took the risk out of people doing these trades.'' [Last graf]

Being the Wizard of Oz ain't what it used to be.

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

Actress Amanda Cooley Davis became the object of David Garvin's twisted obsession after he cast her in one of his movies.

But when Davis rebuffed Garvin's advances, she told the Daily News, he unleashed his venom in nasty e-mails in which he warned her, "This is the cost of picking a fight with your director."

This man is in line for an ACADEMY AWARD®!

Posted 11:35 AM by Gene

"The war with Iraq marked a turning point. It shattered America's image," said Villepin, who opposed the 2003 invasion of Iraq, at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

This from the foreign minister of a country that perfected collaboration.

No word from al Reut on whether Dominique got a standing O, though we should not be surprised.

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

Hundreds of thousands of families who bought houses in the last two years — using loans with low teaser interest rates and no down payments — are now losing them.

Their short tenure as homeowners calls into question whether the nation’s long drive to increase homeownership — pushed by both public policy and financial innovations — has overstepped some boundary of demographic and economic sense.

“Clearly we went too far,” said Joseph E. Gyourko, a professor of real estate and finance at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. “It’s not the case that high homeownership is always good.”

What would the late Paul Krugman say?

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

Is Conservatism Dying?

Congresspoops chasing after lobbyists and bribes, government officials who'll spend anything and everything, leaders who pound tables with their moral lectures while engaged in creative bed-hopping, pundits blasé over social issues who think up myriad excuses for political and business corruption and prostrate themselves at the feet of Hollywood...

Yes, I'd say conservatism's dying.

Posted 8:21 PM by Gene

"'Family Guy,' like 'The Carol Burnett Show,' is famous for its pop culture parodies and satirical jabs at celebrities. We are surprised that Ms. Burnett, who has made a career of spoofing others on television, would go so far as to sue 'Family Guy' for a simple bit of comedy," said 20th Century Fox Television spokesman Chris Alexander.

The problem is, as He proved with OJ, SLIME likes to pull practical jokes.

(Via the crusading B&C)

Posted 8:17 PM by Gene

Putting KSM on trial as the criminal he is would not have precluded U.S. military action against Al Qaeda targets on foreign territory. BUT.... [Emphasis and overemphasis added]

TRANSLATION: Some people will always come up with well-meaning excuses.

BRING BACK ROBERT SCHEER!

Posted 7:18 PM by Gene

Another proud seller on eBay!

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

Redstone Loves YouTube at CBS, Hates It at Viacom

Now we know why Sumner split up His empire: His doctors are trying to create two of Him to prolong His life!

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

Figures: Congresspoops thought they reformed EHDYUKAYSHUN with the Every Child a Dilbert Act, and it's proven so wondrous they're about to reform it AGAIN!

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Crush of passport applications snarls travel plans

No problem! Go to Iran, then come here!

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Guess who's coming back here to bang his shoe at the League of Nations!

NUKEMAN!

Whassa matta? You don't like wet noodles?

And Foggy Bottom RUSHED to approve his visa!

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

And at declining GanNETt, concern:

Few bright spots for funny ladies

And how many times have YOU lauded the SUPERDUPERMEGAPLATINUM AGE of the new Perils of Pauline?

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

The lengths CEOs will go to just to keep their luxury boxes:

Telecommunications giant AT&T will sue NASCAR after racing series officials would not let the company put its logo on Jeff Burton's race car.

Burton's No. 31 car is sponsored by cell phone service provider Cingular, but AT&T recently bought the company and intends to eliminate the brand name.

And they're not the only ones:

Another Childress driver, Daytona 500 winner Kevin Harvick, is sponsored by Shell/Pennzoil's line of lubricants and has faced complaints about the placement of Shell logos.

Sunoco, the official fuel supplier of NASCAR, was not happy about the big Shell logos on Harvick's car, driving uniform and helmet at Daytona. The team will sport new uniforms and helmets for the March 25 race at Bristol, Conn.

And Friday afternoon, Robby Gordon's crew was busy removing decals from his No. 7 car before qualifying at Atlanta Motor Speedway after NASCAR ruled his team could not switch Motorola sponsorship from his Busch Series car to the Nextel Cup car.

If these corporate dolts spent as much time pleasing their customers as defending their @#$%&* luxury boxes....

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Barney Frank wants to revive online gambling!

What did we say before about honest graft?

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

A dubious encyclopedia (guess which) makes a definitive dictionary (the OED).

"Read it and weep" indeed.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Good news today from Romy:

Newspaper Publishers Down on Gannett [SIC]

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

The Orlando Sentinel reported Thursday that it had received a notice from Jeff Ritter, the senior publicist for Jeopardy!, reading, "This Friday, March 16th, 2007 ... and for the first time in 23 years, Jeopardy! history will be made. I [SIC] was such a remarkable event we consulted a game-theory expert, and he said it may never happen again!" The newspaper's TV writer, Hal Boedeker, said that Ritter would provide no further details and by this morning (Friday), Sony television [SIC], which distributes Jeopardy!, had replaced the announcement with an error message under its own logo reading, "Sorry, the page you requested was not found. The page may have been moved, or the link could be outdated."

IT'S A SONY!!!!!

Posted 2:05 PM by Gene

Some mainstream moderate group called QUESTION or whatever is staging what the WAPOST will tomorrow call a million-strong march against the Viet -- Iraq war, and some typist named Steve takes the time to quote from a former attorney general under LBJ, being exceptionally careful though not to note his links to QUESTION or whatever, but he's a mainstream moderate too so that's okay.

We came to this raw propaganda via "Most Viewed Articles", which we noticed while reading the Romy-linked obit of a WaPost.com editor named William C. Grant. Looking at his picture and reading the obit we thought, this was a pretty good guy. We only wish there were more pretty good guys at places like the WaPost, which might prevent some pretty bad intentions.

Posted 11:50 AM by Gene

An heir to the Hearst publishing empire puts it pretty definitively:

INK ISN'T IN HER BLOOD: Looks like it's final that Hearst heir Lydia Hearst-Shaw won't be following her sister Gillian (who has been assisting at Town & Country) into the family business any time soon. "I can't think of anything less fun than running a newspaper," she tells Mike Ruffino in the launch issue of Room 100, Blackbook's first foray into custom publishing for the Thompson Hotels. "I get my news off the Internet." (She stays mum on magazines.)

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

This cheap political hack Ben's exceedingly clever attack on the right's sources of succor (click on the link -- and note the date! Lots of good that sleaze did, Ben!) reminds us that both sides have their -- rattling skeletons in the closet, and we've no doubt Ben could be in a room with a whole graveyard's worth of liberal skeletons and not hear a thing.

When archy the cockroach reported how a friend said that millionaires and bums tasted alike to him he could have mentioned conservative frauds and liberal frauds.

We want the OLD New Republic back!

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

Speaking of leaders, there's a world for them -- and there's a world for the rest of us.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

Fidel Castro will be in "perfect shape" to run for re-election to parliament next spring, the first step toward securing yet another term as Cuba's president, National Assembly head Ricardo Alarcon said Thursday.

"I would nominate him," said Alarcon, the highest-ranking member of parliament. "I'm sure he will be in perfect shape to continue handling his responsibilities."

Truly -- how many leaders can boast they're as sick as their nation?

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

Our favorite PR man Rog offers a sensible suggestion about where the recorded...sound biz' execs can go:

Is there anyone left at Capitol Records?...Soon the whole company will be at Starbucks, either working behind the counter or in front of it.

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

New on eBay: The desks of Enron execs

Maybe Meg "Mug" Whitman can buy one for her office!

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

Brent handed Dr. Evil a huge spear with which to pierce him in the stomach.

You do not mess with a direct line to the Devil.

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

Luke Spielberg, one of the most humorless men in the biz, is producing a TV comedy.

Luke, a comedy is where people laugh. What's a laugh? Well, we'll tell you: a laugh is....

Posted 6:17 PM by Gene

New-synergy news: Coke and L'Oreal are launching a skin-renewing tea!

Yummy!

Such nutraceutical products are already popular overseas. In Japan, for example, Coke has launched several entries including Love Body, which it claims not only burns calories, but contains an ingredient rumored to increase bust size. (Link added)

I'll drink to that! Booooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

Bowie Kuhn, the Gerald Ford of baseball, who introduced the DH and playoffs and started the game on its long, inexorable slide into extremely profitable irrelevance, has died. RIP.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

Speaking of prejudices, the last few days a certain kind of knee-jerk liberal has beamed a broad smug grin over Bruce Bartlett's "confession" that news doesn't slant to the left anymore. First, it wasn't a confession, and second it's nothing new: news hacks have become economic Glibertarians (the business having become an upper-class bastion) while maintaining the old social-liberal fogyism. In short, instead of having the worst of one world, news hacks now have the worst of two. That does not seem like an improvement.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

Defeat in Iraq drew a Senate minority.

The Democrats don't even have the cowardice of their convictions.

Posted 3:29 PM by Gene

Now that TNR (behind its wall; think we can do away with that gag?) is painting Mistuh Bach-B-Minor-Mass as a liberal hero for being courageous about Iraq, do you think The Corner will yap about it with the abandon of Jo-NAH regaling us with his giddy talk of bad sci-fi movies, or Ms. Travers collapsing in hysterics over the hilarity of South Park?

I can't wait for the sun to rise from the west -- or Wil-liam EFFFFF. to speak in monosyllables.

Hey, I've got an idea! Maybe History's Greatest Comic Novelist can write a satire about it! He can call it Grown. Pffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 3:15 PM by Gene

This morning it appeared the hacks would paint scum as something of a victim of torture (assuming something sub-human can be a victim of anything), but now they appear to have shut up. Why? Because scum took credit for killing one of their own! To the most self-centered breed in the human race outside their Hollywood cousins this alone merits reprobation, and possibly even the torture that would so righteously anger them if the target hadn't been a reporter. Indeed had scum not committed other atrocities no doubt we'd still be hearing about this for weeks, as the hacks now threaten with this angle. On the other hand, had scum not killed a reporter....

Don't get us wrong: Daniel Pearl's butchering was a singular obscenity. But it wasn't singular. After a few more days, however, it will be.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

YouTube is being inundated with SPAM!

It doesn't take long before people can render any Web innovation useless. But we can't say we're entirely unhappy about this because so many Web videos are glorified advertising.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

AP NEWS ALERT!

The six world powers have reached an agreement on a new package of sanctions against Iran for its nuclear program.

TRANSLATION: SIX buckets of wet noodles!

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

This is why I get excited about the things from the last post. No one in his right mind would blame show-biz solely, or even significantly, for such massacres -- but dammit some screw has gone loose in us, and an industry that is not too many steps from al Qaida in its death-worship is NOT BLAMELESS.

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

At a "sparsely attended" gathering, THE CONSPIRACY announces it's making its ratings fig leaf one millimeter bigger:

"Generally, it is not appropriate for parents to bring their young children with them to R-rated motion pictures."

Meantime tomorrow will be "a very long day" for Dr. Evil -- and we hope they get much longer.

CRETINS.

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

AP NEWS ALERT!

Interpol calls for the arrest of six former prominent Iranian officials sought in 1994 bombing in Argentina.

Good luck!

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

SNIDELY WHIPLASH is mad -- AND he's getting even!

Posted 8:25 AM by Gene

School administrators have not done enough to curtail drug and alcohol abuse on campus, Califano says.

A violent gale of laughter ensues as kolledge prezehdents bury their heads in the ground.

Posted 8:05 AM by Gene

LALA engorges us in a "Jetsons" vision of a remote-controlled house, but somehow these hacks stumble and fall over the truth -- as here, in the twelfth graf:

For those already drowning in a flood of unread user manuals for digital devices, the prospect of a total tech home invasion may prompt plans for padded walls.

Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

Chiquita admits to paying Colombia terrorists
Banana company agrees to $25 million fine for paying AUC for protection

You wonder what prevents LEGENDARY WELCH types from being their own CIA bosses, engaging shady operatives, playing both ends against the middle, countenancing criminal behavior -- and all for "the good of the company."

This is why the subprime mess resonates with the sounds of KennyBoy -- you can't keep a good crook down.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

Months before the first votes are cast in the campaign of 2008, some in the media are conducting last rites for the Republicans. The rush to bury the GOP is as hasty as it is premature.

SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX supposes he is being iconoclastic. We suppose he is merely being anti-CW, and as such, by being wrong, is fully CW as usual.

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

Scum -- you remember this guy, the one who was pulled out of bed -- admits to staging dozens of terrorist attacks, and people are understandably upset:

Kenneth Roth, executive director of Human Rights Watch, questioned the legality of the closed-door sessions and whether the confession was actually the result of torture.

"WE WON'T KNOW THAT UNLESS THERE IS AN INDEPENDENT HEARING!!!!!" he said. "WE NEED TO KNOW IF THIS PURPORTED CONFESSION WOULD BE ENOUGH TO CONVICT HIM AT A FAIR TRIAL OR WOULD IT HAVE TO BE SUPPRESSED AS THE FRUIT OF TORTURE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" [Just human-rights overemphasis added]

Our only solace is that such imbeciles would find similar excuses against trying Hitler and Stalin for crimes against humanity -- and come out defacto in their favor too.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) received a mix of boos and applause when she denounced the U.S. invasion of Iraq as a failure during her remarks to the annual meeting of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee on Tuesday.

Happily Jews will never stop voting 90-percent Democratic.

Meantime Congressman Kook appoints a true believer to his staff; happily Jews will never stop voting 90-percent Democratic.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

"Driving while texting"..."sleep-driving"...is there a difference?

Posted 2:31 PM by Gene

Progress? In Baghdad?!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Posted 1:34 PM by Gene

More fun in subprime:

GM Nets $950 Million, Misses Estimates on Mortgages

Posted 1:27 PM by Gene

How much of an embarrassment is public financing of athuhletic Taj Mahals becoming? Frisco's 49ers are testing proposals with focus groups.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

Mexico's president has a suggestion:

Mr. Calderon said the U.S. has the right to determine its own laws and security, but he has said that neither enforcement nor a future worker program will stop huge flows of Mexicans northward.

"Migration might not be stopped and certainly not by decree," he said, adding that the solution is to bring better jobs to Mexico to remove the incentive to leave.

Haven't we outsourced enough?

Posted 11:55 AM by Gene

Apple has issued a security update for Mac OS X that fixes 45 security bugs.

This is NOT supposed to happen!

Posted 11:41 AM by Gene

Johansson No. 3 for Woody

------------------------------------------------------------------

Screen beauty Scarlett Johansson is in the running to play Nellie Forbush in a sexy revival of "South Pacific" at Lincoln Center, The Post has learned....

...[S]he is well-suited to the role of Forbush, a nurse from Little Rock. Like that character, who falls in love with the older de Becque, Johansson, 22, has said she's attracted to older men.

Is there a connection?

P. S. For his latest masterwork Perv's getting Spanish government help. If this doesn't indicate Spain's a third-rate country I don't know what does.

P. P. S. Since Mike doesn't say whether Sexy can sing (thankfully a tiny consideration for a role with five or six songs) we assume she can't.

Posted 11:38 AM by Gene

The fun continues in subprime:

H&R Block Inc. shares dropped about 5 percent on Wednesday after the nation's largest tax preparer said it was boosting its third-quarter loss after cutting the value of a subprime mortgage subsidiary.

Posted 11:01 AM by Gene

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:

Why The Left Hates "300"

We've found ANOTHER JESUS SLASHER MOVIE!

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

Goodthings Entertainment is giving tickets away for a movie!

I'd be careful, Little Jeffy. This may start a trend -- especially as for most movies you can't give tickets away.

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

OH oh, the Dalai Lamas of Mountain View are not perfect:

"Investor optimism regarding YouTube was misplaced," said Global Equities Research analyst Trip Chowdhry. "Google is failing to do anything with YouTube."

This will happen when you pay $1.65 billion for cute pet tricks.

For its $1.65 billion, Google is getting a operation that had just $15 million in sales last year, according to Robert Peck, a Bear Stearns analyst who has a buy rating on Google. While the company hasn't confirmed that figure, in its 2006 annual report, Google described YouTube's contribution to its bottom line as "immaterial."

Because how many advertisers want to sponsor cute pet tricks?

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

A smidgin of good news among the better-than-ever media buncombe:

'Lot of Weakness' in Spending Among Top Ad Categories

Unfortunately:

TV and magazines performed well, which should help quiet occasional questions about the future of either medium.

However:

TNS has predicted that ad spending in the U.S. will show just a "tepid gain" of 2.6% in 2007.

And then come THE GAMES, and the ELECTIONS, and it's back to the world of better-than-ever.

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

Spiritual uplift and commerce were the themes of the day as MPAA honcho Dan Glickman and National Assn. of Theater Owners John Fithian kicked off ShoWest with Tuesday's keynote address.

The morning session started with a prayer -- followed by Jerry Bruckheimer.

The entire crowd at the Theater des Arts at the Paris stood up as a spiritual "coach" offered thanks to God for such things as "the high marks exhibitors have received, and for enforcing the ratings system. May we have an only uplifting positive impact."

PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE DE LAWD GOD JERRY DRECKHEIMER!

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

Now this is something: Dow 36,000 runs a piece entitled

When You Wish Upon a Buck [!!!!!]

...about Uncle Walt and his "totalitarian" utopias -- and it dares to suggest they face an "uncertain future" because they're "rigid anachronism[s]" with a "top-down" approach to entertainment! We suspect if ESPNCorp Theme Parks Division faces an uncertain future (do not bet the house against the house) it will be because people start to balk at paying thousands of dollars for amusements they can now get for free. We further suggest the company's founder MICKEYMOUSE NIXON damaged the brand with his R-rated social experimentation. Face it, ESPNCorp isn't a family-entertainment co. despite the Brent Seal of Approval.

Posted 9:19 PM by Gene

Nevada coach Mark Fox yelled profanities and appeared ready to use force toward a police officer and game officials after the Wolf Pack lost to in [ASSPress Excellence in Editing SIC] the Western Athletic Conference tournament, according to a police report released Tuesday. [Utah State, by the way.]

The next Bobby Knight!

Nevada (28-4) plays Creighton (22-10) in the first round of the NCAA tournament Friday in New Orleans. Benson said the incident would not prevent Fox from coaching the Wolf Pack during the tournament.

THE NEXT...never mind.

Posted 8:37 PM by Gene

A conundrum: A fellow who serves in the U. S. House (we'll call him Marty) was going to run for the Senate until some other fellow (we'll call him Sen. Hein-TZZZ) decided to seek reelection. Now the fellow we'll call Marty will apparently leave the House for some cushy academic job. But he has one problem: a $5.1 million campaign war chest. Question: If you were Marty, what would you do?

NOTE: You can't spend the money on yourself; that's a no-no.

Posted 7:40 PM by Gene

Mr. Melodrama tried starting a fight with Mickey K., but it seems nobody was interested. One wonders if the bloom is finally off the blogging rose. A look at Alexa.com rankings shows the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS have mostly seen big audience drops, like the loudmouth Michelle or the Bloggers of the Millennium for instances. Even DailyKos is down, a surprise as we'd have thought he'd be going great gu -- gangbusters (although this may signal that last November's liberal conversion was broad but not deep). We could dismiss all this as statistical legerdemain except that eBay's traffic rank and page views are at or near their lowest in five years, and that could be a symptom of some real problems (not least of which some brazen hackery of late). Then again there was a big dip in 2004, and eBay seems not to have suffered. Still we'd like to believe Web surfers have grown tired of the big-name Johnny-One-Notes, and are actively seeking intellectual respite. We fear they're merely victims of the YouTube and social-networking crazes, but we doubt they've risen as much as the big names have fallen. Perhaps too people are realizing the Web isn't the 100-percent Godsend so many said it would be.

We mention this as G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's playing tricks with us again -- pleasant tricks, in this case: we're evidently back in Next Blog, but we aren't excited as our last sojourn there lasted only about three or four months, and then the algorithms pulled the digital plug; we are thoroughly resigned to it happening again. That said the "new" Blogger is a huge step up from the old (except for the permanent error messages when we search within Edit Posts), and were it not for vast clunky server farms we'd be ready to say something nice about the Dalai Lamas of Mountain View. We'll save that, however, pending further blogging.

Posted 6:18 PM by Gene

In more news of the unbiased, impartial, celebrity-eschewing, pride-dampening, ego-reducing world of the press biz:

Two 'LA Times' Pulitzer Finalists Nominated Themselves

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

The solid-state and hybrid hard drives will come to Bugmeister's rescue, making computers seem faster and less balky than Bug would otherwise make them.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

"I am not a crook!

"I'm much too green for it!"

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Further into the quagmire of academe, the ninety or ninety-five percent of history perfessers who are liberal Democrats (well, seventy-six percent, anyway) take a STRONG, BRAVE AND BOLD STAND AGAINST AN EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL WAR -- but then one of them poops at the party:

One of those who spoke against the resolution in Atlanta was James Sheehan, a past president of the association, a professor at Stanford University, and a critic of the war. In Atlanta, he advocated that historians — as individuals — do whatever they could against the war. In an interview Monday, he said that the association did the right thing by having a broader vote on the resolution and that he was disappointed, but not surprised by the outcome.

He said that there are two problems with the resolution. First, he said, “it seems to me that people join the AHA with certain expectations, and the fact that the association will take political positions is not one of them. In a way, you are violating the conditions of membership, and I suspect a few people will leave.”

Second, he said it was important for the association to take political stands on issues “narrowly concerned with the interests of scholars in general and historians in particular.” So he said it was important for the AHA to speak out as it does against visa denials to foreign scholars or restrictions on access to presidential records. “But by taking more general stands, we weaken our moral authority and we become identified with partisan positions,” he said. “There is only a certain amount of moral capital that we have.”

I'm not sure however that "capital" is the right word, given our burgeoning endowments and TV revenues.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

With all these Branson East autograph signers doing pilots who's going to put on the Mickey Mouse costumes at the theme parks?

And who wants to bet perky old Krissy ends up banging her head against a proscenium for having passed up Kerngershwin Hammerstein?

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Startling Hed of the Week:

Survey says uneducated guesses drive NCAA pools

...which is just above a squib about the rancor over the Useless News college survey, a pretty good uneducated guess in its own right.

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

In further press releases of THE CONSPIRACY, blatherskite like this makes us hope that the movie biz is in for a surprise, but the core audience that must see everything loves a good blinding and deafening.

And despite the PC of the notion of giving a movie an R for tobacco use we can certainly hope the biz' selling of the noxious weed can cause some good PR too for awhile.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

Some Trib functionary says lots of "kids" came out for that gory comic book on the screen, apparently not at all bothered by the fact some of the kids should not have been there to see it. Here's another reason show-biz reporting stinks: when it doesn't concentrate in our cinematic GENIUS it becomes more money-obsessed than the worst Bear Stearns -- "ANALYST".

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

Having shaved a few points from its averages in recent weeks, the Street decides to celebrate:

Word on Street: Wanted
Fresh off rich bonus round, demand is high for bankers and traders in leveraged debt. [Home-page hed]

...Most of the major banks continue to do the bulk of their hiring through campus recruiting of top MBAs, and that effort has ramped up as springtime nears. Unlike in years past, many banks are expanding their screening process to include candidates who can crunch the complicated numbers involved in structured debt.

"You need 10 more points of IQ than you did in the old days," Johnson said.

At Merrill Lynch & Co. and Credit Suisse, the emphasis has shifted to Ph. D. and master's-degree recipients with quantitative backgrounds, particularly in capital markets. Computer and math graduates are in high demand....

You mean it now takes genius to create bankruptcies?

Posted 4:53 PM by Gene

Clinton: Vast right-wing conspiracy is BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!! [Overemphasis added]

Let me guess -- somebody's raising money to run for president!

Seeing as how this piece cites Richard Mellon Scaife I'd say Jennifer "The Impartial Unbiased Democrat" Loven wrote it, but that's just a guess.

Shucks, I was wrong. It was worth taking a guess, though.

Posted 3:48 PM by Gene

New Century gets delisted not even two weeks after Bear Stearns recommended it!

Even more of a bargain!

Posted 3:34 PM by Gene

The TWXSTERS are "rebranding" Court TV -- including a new name!



Why not Red?

If we had a dollar for every time some business idiot uses the word "rebranding" -- let's put it this way: we wouldn't have to work for a long, long time.



Meantime the TWXSTER who runs what used to be the entertainment side of Ted's TV empire, as opposed to the unintentional-comedy side (that's his face, by the way) sez:

"TV is a full-time job for most people in this country!!!!!" [Overemphasis added]

So why do WE pay YOU for it?

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

No, it will not do to say Pete "IIIII HAAAAAAATE JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWS!!!!!" Stark does not believe in God because he is one, for there are plenty believing and non who fit that bill. We'll just say after you've been in office for seventy years with the expectation of serving for another three centuries the word "humility" is not in your vocabulary.

There goes Ms. Nancy hiding under her desk again.

Posted 10:27 AM by Gene

SUMNER SUES G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh, one media tyranny battles another for turf.

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

Interesting that this man who's "recreated" Glenn Gould's Goldberg Variations on an ultra-high-end player piano refers to music as "information." Strictly speaking, it is -- after all, Bach just wrote notes on paper. Notes and staves and tempo and loudness and pedal markings are information. If music were mere information anybody could play it. But something surely separated Glenn Gould, or Horowitz, or Schnabel, or Rachmaninoff from an amateur playing at a recital in Podunk. And if anybody could play music it wouldn't be music anymore. Maybe that's why we don't have music these days: anybody can and does play it. Under that circumstance we now have "information."

(Via ArtsJournal)

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

Democrats Vow Push on Trust Issues [hed]

Many, if not most, of the measures face dim prospects for becoming law since they must also be passed by the Senate and signed by the president. [Seventh graf]

TRANSLATION: Trust us. Pfffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

That reactionary NAZI...pope is up to EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL again: now he dares DEMAND Catholic politicians oppose gay marriage!

Sic him, Pope Teddy!

Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

One may be sure cable subscribers are spending too much when ESPN televises a "rock, paper, scissors" championship.

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

Ooooops:

Democratic leaders are stripping from a military spending bill for the war in Iraq a requirement that President Bush gain approval from Congress before moving against Iran.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and other leaders agreed to remove the requirement concerning Iran after conservative Democrats as well as other lawmakers worried about its possible impact on Israel, officials said Monday.

I thought we were against war! This won't make the hard core happy; they hate Israel too.

Somebody running for president?

Posted 8:07 PM by Gene

Okay, NPCPCAA, what do we do: Flunk out our flunkies, or inflate the graduation rates?

Whatever you do, we're sure it will be extremely profitable.

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

Today AdAge, which put me on its subscription rolls without my consent, mailed me a nice little gift: a Hallmark card that plays a tune. This must be the worst thing to happen to greeting cards since the emoticon. First off, the cards play only excerpts of tunes, so they're cheats that way; for what Hallmark charges for one card you could buy five complete iTunes and send homemade greetings with each of them -- Word documents perhaps -- or better yet you could e-mail your favorite songs for free. Plus they're hi-fi the way Alexander Graham Bell's prototype phone was. And we can guess what happens to them; they get played five or six times and put away in a cabinet or hatbox to collect mold, or some four-year old pulls an Edison on them and voila! No greeting card. Worse, they probably defy recycling; you have to rip the electronic innards out, and those surely can't or won't be recycled, plus the battery (about three-quarter-inches in diameter) has some toxic substance that by the millions would form a low-level Superfund site, although most likely it would merely leach out onto other greeting cards after years of storage, leaving a small but ugly mess. Hallmark, go back to no-tech treacle.

Just one question: can some Slashdotting geek with too much time on his hands do to these cards what other GET-A-LIFES! have done to Singing Santas?

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

We've seen what China's stock market can do to ours; now if we can add a little accounting creativity and corruption to the mix....

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

A presidential candidate is saying he won't say yet if he's running for president so he can say at a later date whether he is or is not running for president when he'll say he is running for president.

Way to go, Hole-in-the-Bagel!

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

"The practice has settled into a nice, safe, responsible, conservative record of aid-in-dying practice in the state," says Barbara Combs Lee, president of Compassion & Choices, a Denver-based advocacy group that supports physician-assisted suicide.

Barb should work for Sammy Glickman, or maybe the Thomas Eagleton Memorial Society. "Conservative." Yes, the state takes a life because somebody finds it convenient, and it's the nice, safe, responsible thing, and right-of-center. It is useless and perhaps counterproductive to roll the eyes and think these same nice safe responsible advocates of euthanasia are 1. pro-abortion and 2. anti-death penalty, but modern America is nothing without its sense turned inside out.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

In the news biz' latest bid to prove its irrelevance, rock music ad-blurbists have been having a knock-down drag-out debate over who should be in Cleveland's White Elephant. They do not seem to be pleased. Even Edna, proud PR personage that she is, has to admit the "[r]oyal bloodlines have thinned since rock's heyday," which leads one to ask who will gain entry as an august member of the Elephant ten years hence. Of course ask Edna (or that SocSec eligible Robert "Over the" Hilburn, who alas can still write) whether there's any significance to this, and they'll write up 500 rave reviews to prove, basically, there isn't. But if tone-deaf blurbists can say in their own dense manner our culture's bad and getting worse, what hope is there?

Posted 1:42 PM by Gene

Here is precisely why employers should have a no-Internet-porn rule -- as they're learning the hard way in Maryland:

The Office of Legislative Audits' report warns that employees viewing pornography at work creates a hostile work environment, wastes tax payer money, reduces productivity, and even could infect the state's computer network with malware, which is frequently present on porn sites.

Posted 11:37 AM by Gene

The hacks are getting on their high horse about celebrity reporting -- and hoping the people will think it a cute little Shetland pony.

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

Surprise: An Egyptian "appeals" court has rubber-stamped Hosni the Thug's jail term for a blogger.

Hey Hos! How about pardoning this guy?

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

OHoh, Henry Waxman's going to hold a hearing on CHENEYCO's move -- and people are talking "national security."

Free enterprise may have to wait a little bit.

P. S. at 11:10 a.m.: "OUTRAGE" (so says The Mess's home page):

Texas-based Halliburton, which was led by Vice President Dick Cheney from 1995-2000.... [SECOND GRAF]

You shut up too.

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: They're turning a magazine into a Web site.



We don't know whether that mock-up cover is meant to be an endorsement, but judging from ARTS ER intends to go down with the ship.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

So our military has a fallback position in Iraq.

So?

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

The Imagineering Goodthings people...

General Electric Co.'s subprime mortgage unit is responsible for some of the worst-performing loans in the benchmark index for the $575 billion market for home equity asset-backed securities, showing few lenders are immune to recent U.S. housing sector problems.

...imagineer again!

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

Flash! Mickey D's may sell Pepsi!

And we thought people couldn't tell the difference!

Posted 6:53 AM by Gene

This should qualify him: Sen. Law-and-Order thinks Dubya should pardon What's-His-Name!

Go for it! Become the first presidential candidate to campaign for a pardon!

Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

Lou "The Populist Toady" Dobbs! You have competition!

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

His sing-songy fake Puccini of a Phantom having tortured the public longer than any other Branson East theme park, Lord Lloud Wubbish now threatens us with a sequel, which presumably means the guy gets to wear the mask on the other side.

Posted 9:36 PM by Gene

To say, as does the French ultra-rightist Mr. Le Pen, that Jacques Chirac is "the worst president of the republic in the history of France" assumes that France has had a best president.

Posted 6:18 PM by Gene

Halliburton's moving its corporate HQ to Dubai.

Good move! They're made for each other.

...an Arab boomtown where free-market capitalism has been paired with some of the world's most liberal tax, investment and residency laws.

Let's hear con-SER-va-tives swoon tomorrow.

In 2006, Halliburton _ [SIC] once headed by Vice President Dick Cheney _ [SIC]....

In 2026 ASSPress will remind us.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

We can hear the Statler Brothers singing it now: "Whatever hap-pened to Mi-chael Moo-oore?"

Well, it seems he's the subject of a documentary...an unflattering documentary...by "left-wingers"! (And thank God or the ASSPress [six of one] they were "left-wingers", or else we'd have never heard about it.)

So the ASSPress makes official what many of us have known for years. Good going, Curley! (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!)

Posted 3:05 PM by Gene

To those con-SER-va-tives hoping and praying that political martyr What's-His-Name be pardoned:

Bush just does not grant many pardons. In his first year as Texas governor, he was burned. A county constable he pardoned for a marijuana conviction was caught months later stealing cocaine.

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

Fresh from his ethanol triumph in Brazil, Dubya (and his Commerce Dilbert Sec. Who from Kellogg's) comes up with another winner: fish farming!

Who says Dubya doesn't have ideas?

Posted 2:22 PM by Gene

"Tom E." makes an admission:

[My father] did not take me, but he arranged to have someone else take me to Winston Churchill's "Iron Curtain" speech at Westminster College in Fulton, Missouri. I wrote up the speech for the Country Day News, but left out the "Iron Curtain" part as being lesser importance than other portions of his speech.

pats himself on the back:

I am most proud that the "Eagleton Amendment" was the legislative act that finally ended U.S. participation in the dreadful Vietnam War.

issues a curse:

After leaving the Senate, I never missed being there — except for the debate on the nomination of Bork and the HORRIBLE, DISASTROUS Iraq War. That war will go down in American history as ONE OF OUR GREATEST BLUNDERS!!!!! It will be remembered, in part, as a CURSE to our Constitution when Attorney General John Ashcroft attempted to PUT A DEMOCRATIC FACE ON TORTURE!!!!! [Posthumous overemphasis added]

and offers his own time-tested advice on serving the public, complete with the politico-speak word that marks him as a target too:

I think, frankly, people stay too long in Congress. [Mere emphasis added]

If only Sen. Eagleton had remembered Sen. Wellstone's pep-rally -- er, funeral. We can only hope he enjoys more peace now than he did in drafting one or two of his paragraphs.

Posted 2:11 PM by Gene

Was it really necessary for The Paper of Re-CORD to run a 4,724-WORD blurb from the late Frank Rich's wife about a man whose novel was adapted into an extremely profitable Branson East tourist trap?

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

This week the popcorn-restaurant trade meets in Vegas for the latest ways to cram as many bad movies and commercials and overpriced concessions down its patrons' throats while doing as little cleaning as possible, and looking over the agenda we are astonished at how boring the trade can be:

There has been good progress in the development and deployment of digital cinema both in the United States and various International markets, but there continues to be the perception it is slow going. What are the key challenges facing the pacing, progress and deployment of digital cinema around the world and what is the "The [SIC] Way Forward"? [Any trade that uses Bill Ford's failed catch phrase gives us reason for hope.] This session will dedicate itself to focusing on and discussing the key issues which include global adoption of single standard and performance/compliance protocol, viable business models and related issues, whether or not there is a sufficient international servicing infrastructure to support efficient and reliable digital content servicing needs, security and key management services and a host of other relevant issues. And, how might digital 3D technology impact the overall pacing of deployment of digital cinema systems.

Although we should not be surprised; "distribution" is basically trucking for the popcorn restaurants; they have their own other boring concerns, like cramming as many bad movies and commercials and overpriced concessions down their patrons' throats while doing as little cleaning as possible.

Of course it's not all droning with geeks, not with the "[p]resentation of the USA TODAY/Coca-Cola Consumer Choice Award for Favorite Movie of 2006 to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest"!! We have always wondered why USAOKAY!!!!! runs so many show-biz press releases, and now we know why.

Posted 11:04 AM by Gene

Somehow an ugly glass-brick cylinder is an appropriate memorial -- not for the Madrid bombing, but for a country in denial, a country that begged for mercy from Islamists, that elected a PC SUPERCHICKEN to show it was completely harmless, and has probably grown to smugness, even, as we are told, one commuter on that awful day is still in a coma, and 1,800 were wounded. No, Spain resides in its own little superb hermetically-sealed world, with no reason to get out, so long as a little of what passes for light comes in.

And now we are told that Spain is "deeply divided" -- an inevitable consequence of voting out of appeasement, and fear.

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

OH oh:

Bush Is Right Not to Set Date for Troop Withdrawal, Baker Says

Does this qualify as bad advice?

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

We know of the British gift for language. How can The World's Oldest Adolescent say, "I am not a crook"?

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

Here Mickey D's has been turning into Starbucks -- and now Starbucks is turning into Mickey D's, with the kind of obsession with show-biz schmoozing known only in Oak Brook. Meantime the company's stock isn't quite what it used to be. How starting a record label will soothe investors is beyond us. The next thing is stories about dirty stores and bad service. The thing after that is a zillion dollar junk-financing ad campaign that thoroughly ruins the company's reputation. Go for it, Star!

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

Okay, we can agree Ed Lampert is a villain. But we mention St. Warren's name, and news hacks love nothing better than money. At what point to we turn him into a god also -- just like Mr. Mean Business, just like KennyBoy?

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

For a brief second a tang of jealousy overwhelms me with stories like this, of people who so easily achieve publicity and fame, and then I think, ten years from now, such stories won't pass the Huh? test. And it's a little tiresome to see BIGMEDIA give so much time to self-evident asses, all in the name of filling air time and column inches. Couldn't they do something better? Why ask such a stupid question?